L I V I N G IN E N G L A N D . Ayers W hen the u.-rvcs are w eak everything goes w rong. You are tired all the time, easily discouraged, n e r v o u s , anc} irritable. Y o u r cheeks a r e Sarsaparilla and y o u r blood is thin. ? t h ale ou r doctor s a y s y o u a r e r e a t e n e d w i t h a nervous breakdow n. H e ord ers this grand old fam ily m edicine. “ Per n o n t Itati M i n n I bava a*ad A far'* Itti.»arili» 1« m j f.tnilr. Iti* a orsini toni« aiaU U dì «*. au. I l » a baiti«. t. a. atbr co ., «rarat.to.__ _ t ____ U w t ó jliti, £ fo r Weak Nerves H « — Would yon ra ther be pretty or witty? She— 81ri— New York Sun. The ooal man should bo brought to the orror of hla weighs.— Philadel­ phia Record. “Does Mr. Reuben Hay brick* keep boarders?” “H e takes 'em, but he • o a ’t keep ’em.”— Chicago Chronicle, k— H e comes o f good family, i’t he? Stella— Yes, he’s the only 1 know against I t — Town Joboajr— Pa,, is it wrong to steal a trust? Johnny’s Pa— Don't lot tho sweeties bother yea, my son. It's Impossible.— Cleveland Ledger. O ss r ma sd tafter a table d’hote)— Aaythlag else, waiter? 1 W alter— One mere peach, air, and ysu ‘11 ’ave eat the mesa.— London Bystander. K ep the b o w e ls re g u la r w ith A yer's "D ey ain’t no stefa thing ez gittln’ PUIS, Just on e pill e a c h n lgn t. married Is heaven.” ’’Coarse dey ain’t Don’t de Bible tell yon It’s a place er Co pltl D efbU eU . peace en rest?”— Atlanta Constitution. ▲ hstf-repeutsot bachelor, with quite a Mrs. Hatterson— I didn’t aoe you at pile of rocks. the lecture on “The Simple Life.” Mrs. Dropped in, one day, beside the way, Oatterssn— Why, no; I had no Idea It aad bought a pair of socks. Arsivod at home— romantic jey!— ha waa going to be such a swell affair.— B rooklyn Life. ' ---------— ------ --------- woad'ringly drew oat____ A sees deep hidden in the keee— from W ife — It la so kind e f you to put on souse fair hand, no doubt! my boots for me. Kneeling Hnaband (tagging sw ay)— It’s a— a— pleasure, “I ’m twenty years of age,” it road, “ and my dear. Still. I ’m glad you’re net a sailed a country belle. Pick-Me-Up. With yen I’d like to correspond— If yob centipede.— M W M I — will never tell. Mlos B iter Could you use anything My object matrimony is, and yours, I „ ___ la your “Honsehold Department" t b s hope, the same. I week? Owintry Editor Yes, we could I f you’ll address me. I ’ll respond." And ^ csuple o f dozen of fresh eggs then aha wrote her name. steely.— N e w York Times. -at “W h a t conclusion does that cam­ On lire with hope, the bachelor that very • evening wrote. paign orator reach In his argument?” And jtolded his epiatlo with a kias inside "H e sever- arrives at a conclusion. the note. H e merely stops now and then to take Sly Cupid had him in his mesh— a# very breath.”—Washington Star. •lever eateh. Willie— Teacher told us to-day that Foe, after all, quite foolish la s half- there’s a certain kind o’ tree that sepentant bach. grows out o’ rocks. I can’t remember Bat oh hew sheepish did ho feel, when what It was. Hla P a— It’s a family from the fair unknown tree, I guess.— Philadelphia Ledger. XhJa answer came, to quench his tame: The Irish lady declared to the mag­ "A n eld maid 1 have grown Alas *twas forty years ago I planned istrate that the defendant had stolon her hen. “ H ow de yon know It Is that fond surprise, Detested by a heartless wretch who your hen?” asked the Judge. “Know wouldn't advertise!” It!” cried the Irate lady.^ “I have known that ben ever since it w as an Shook for the Law yer. A well-known lawyer e f this city, e g g ” “ You probably don’t remember me," whose office la located close to the S O M E C U R I O U S FIN D « . PE-RÜ-NA M EASURES UP T O T H E SIAiUlUKD Xa B e a l l ? N o C h e a p e r than In Tbla Mena? I a a l an a V a r a Waa Located Country. 1 naide a Potato. ▲ Scarborough gentleman was sur­ The accuracy of an official statement made by United States Consul H a l­ prised recently to And thirty-eight pine stead at Birmingham, that living was la bis breagfast egg, and most other no cheaper in England than in the people would have been surprised, too, United States, having been questioned under tee circumstances. There ought by certain authorities In this country, to be a cellecUon ef miraculous eggs ho has made a supplementary report somewhere. It was enly two yeara on the subject to the stats dejmrt ago ainee a hen laid an egg at Bed- meat. Prom this It appears that the *ord wlt* * »» »*• There ia so original statement waa baaed on the doul>t *U • • to the facti but the experience e f certain American tube Q°««tlen, “H ew did the penny get ln- w elders working in the Birmingham ““le •**? ” haa never been quite district The statement caused much i **tt*f*ctorlly settled, surprise, as it waa contrary to the A comparison puzzle is afforded by general understanding. One newaps- • «n*rket gardener, well kgown at per urged that if Uvtag in Orest sin w as not appreciably cheaper than found a half crown under almost In He was In­ In the United States there w as ns rea­ credible circumstances. son for protecting toe highly paid specting hla crops when be dropped American wprkouui. Consul H aL the half crown en the ground, and stead says that that ia not a matter though he searched long and diligent­ for him to decide. H a adda that that ly, he searched ia vain. A year passed paper’s proposition to lower the scale aad the incident was being forgotten, of living of the American workingman when, aa he was selecting some pota­ bod better be addressed to the Amort-' toes for the market, Mr. Smith came acreps ene e f a very curious shape. can workingman direct Catting it epen to discover the cause ” 1 enly state a very plain fact," aaya Mr. Halstead, “that If the English of Its eccentricity, the gardener found workingman Uvtd as well as his Am er­ inside It the half-crown piece be bad ican brother workingman his living lost twelve months before! The po­ expenses would be as great or great­ tato was seen by hundreds of people, er than the living expenses of the ■ad the truth e f the story ia well American. Surely there la nothing ob­ vouched for. Remarkable as they are, there is jectionable in stating a fact so plain and so .easily verified. Everybody nothing unique In these cases. One knows that the American workman la, ef the romances of money-making ia by comparison, highly paid. I can the story e f a man who found a news­ only statò the fact that the English paper inside a shark when fishing In workman cannot and does not live as Australia In 1870, and who learned the ( well as the American. It Is within newt e f the Franco-German w a r In fhy knowledge that the majority of this way early enongh to make a for­ o,,, Unlted state, ^ t ^ * tune out of It The story may be true everybody In Australia that living la much cheaper abroad o r not; UNCLE SAM—“ A high Standard s Required o f Any L a- knows 1 L than at home, and It seems to me Another after the same kind is that therefore that I -might well supplement tarrh Remedy That H as Been Endorsed by so Many Trust­ e f the Milford Haven trawler which, the statement of those American work­ while fishing off Carllngford Lough a worthy and Prominent People.” men who, It most be understood, have year or two ago, caught up In the net lived here a number o f years, and a packet of papers, tied together with knew the condition o f the United . ' Time a n d Books. M a t r im o n ia l B U sa red tape and carefully sealed. The States before they came here, and are ” Tbe economy o f saving time la wise, "Yon must think I’m a fool!” ox» •kipper ef the boat handed the docu­ therefore better qualified to express bat there is an economy of spending claimed the angry husband. ments to a lawyer, and it was found an opinion than tourists, whether they " I never would have said so,” calmly time. In reading, especially, hurry is they were a missing link which stood be Americans In England or English­ most wasteful. Reading Is tbe mak­ rejoined the other half of the combine, between a woman and her fortune. men In America, even If they are spe­ ing e f thoughts, of ideas, of pictures In “but since yon here mentioned it I'm They proved the right of a Mlaa cial commissioners Investigating liv­ the brain. All young photographers not going to perjure myself by denying Macdonald to certain estates in Ire­ iL” ing conditions. know bow little ia to be made out of land, which she had claimed ten y e a n “In the ‘American’ factories also, an “ under-exposed plate,” but do they before, bnt which she had failed to uhderstand that there may be such a and in the factories where orders for win because the w ill could not be thing aa an under-exposed brain? It American world contractors have been produced. It waa this will which waa takes time to make Impressions on the executed, when our manufacturers bad f o r In fan ts a n d (iwiidrpn. n brought up from the sea.— Pearson's mind. I f yon read too fast, either more work than they could attend to, Weekly. alond or to yourself, or skim over your there are often a number of Americana reading, the mind receives poor im­ employed. Those In the better paid ._____ ___ _____ _____ _ on „ „ _ the O re g o n B lo o d P u r if ie r is pressions or none at all.— B t Nicholas. B o o n the positions find ____ their _____ situations, a nA rigiuly named, because Jt purifies th e Signatars o f whole, comfortable and agreeable, yet blood and tpnee up the body. T” Mother« w ill And Mrs. Winslow’ s Soothing n d ^ r iy 3 Syrup the best remedy to use for their children other working Americans living here other working Americana living here during the teething period. M u s c le s In T e n s io n . F o r e s t I t Not. whom I have m et have claimed that The Revne Scientifique has been T a k e heed unto this solemn truth,” N e w P r o b le m . they did not find the cost of living, as asking what muscles tire soonest, with Thus spake the beggar, needy; “Gracious me!” exclaimed the lady. they had expected i t low. " A bloomin’ chump was I in yoaQs tbe conclusion that It is not the mus­ “These servant girl problems are very “ Many of the working Americans in cles in use, but those under tension, al­ And now I ’m. old sod needy.? vexing." England, Including those Americaniz­ though doing no work. The writer “W hat now?" asked her husband. ing factories and those selling our I urges us to use the arms and legs 1 ___ “W hy, that Rnssian girl I hired re­ manufactures here, accepted their for- aild ^ neok more, for on fuses to wash my klmonoa because eign Positions at -the same (in some theIn the . reilte8t He they are Japanese.” ^ j r f u n d e r 'f - * - * * cases lower) salaries than they ha>l baa been asking men of ail occupations been receiving at home, persuaded and the same questions: Plso'aCnreto a good conch medicine. It has cured couch* and colds for forty believing that they were obtaining an When you have worked much, where years. A t druggists, 25 cents. H E A L T H RESTO RER. increase because they would be able to do you feel tired? live more cheaply than at home. In Before you were trained did fatigue A a U n k in d Cat. the lower w age grades the stay o f the show itself In the same regions? “Isn’t It queer,” remarked Newpop, Imported American workman is seldom All the answers point to the same “that the baby immediately become« one of great duration. In one factory conclusions. The baker who kneads quiet the minute 1 began to sing to “ A B Signs Fan to a D r y ' where there were nearly fifty men s dough all night complains of fatigue him?" IH 1 SION OF T H 1 FISH fe w yeara ago there Is only one, a fore­ in his legs. “Oh, there’s nothing so very queer about it,” rejoined Mrs. Newpop. “The man, remaining. A few are still In S E V E R F A IL S O f A W I T I D O The blacksmith is tired, not In his Great Britain. Most of them returned srms and shoulders, but in his back poor little dear is evidently puzzled by In ordering Tower*» Slickers, the strange noise.” s customer writes: “ I knew to tbe United States. They were, some and loins. they sill be all right If they o f them told me, disappointed In find hava the ‘ FISH’ «a the«..* Tbe young soldier, after a march. Is S tats o r O hio , C it t or T olkdo , l This eonAdenoa la the out­ lng the coot of living higher than they especially tired In the back o f the LUCAS < OOHTT, I growth o f alxty-nina years ot F rahk i . (.' hanky make* oath that be la anticipa ted.” auralul manufacturing. neck, even If be has carried no knap­ CASTO RI A The Kind You Have Always Bought city ham received a tremendou. shock ™ the ether day. He was counsel for a ! ____ ___ • ___ ______ maa charged with larceny, and, aa the P*®r humble boy, you gave me a ge to carry-----" ■’’Yes. jes,” evidence waa conclusive, he advised m cried tbe busy man. “ Where's the hla oilomt to plead guilty. "Yon know that you have a bad rec answer?” “Yon are the first one to whom I oed sad yon have practically confessed your guilt,” said thé lawyer In a sooth­ have shown this poem,” the young ing manner, “and you will bo sentenc­ poet went on; *T w as wooing the ninae last night------ ” “ Poor fellow 1” rcpUad ed to about three yeara In JalL” This last sentence completely dum the editor, handing back tbe manu­ founded toe prisoner, but after be bad script "I t ’s too bad she rejected you.” looked about his cell for several min — Chicago Journal. tries bo turned to hla attorney and In a Hlcka— H ow do yon happen to be very serions manner said: “ W ill you going Ashing on Friday? 1 thought ktodly go out and get me a good law you believed Friday w as an nnlucky yarr * day. Wicks— Well, I always have. At noon as the lawyer recovered Bat it occurred ^e me this morning, from the shock he told the prisoner be that perhaps It would be unlucky for would argue the case for him.— Phila­ the fish.— Somerville Journal. delphia Proas. “I ’m afrsUJ .you’re not wise,” said tbe fair girl. “ W hy?" demanded tbo A B e a a tlfU l Volume, The moat beautiful volume In the persistent suitor. “ Because ’a word to Oengreaaional Library at Washington tbe wise la sufficient,’ and I have said la a Bible which w as transcribed on N o r to yon.” “Yes, but I ’m wise parchment by a monk In the 10 th cen­ enough to know that a woman’s ‘No’ senior partner of the Arm of F. J. C hunky A Co., doing busine«« in the City of Toledo, Coun­ tury. T h e general lettering Is in the may eventually mean *yes.’ ”— Phila­ sack. glyfcfrt Award Wsrld’s Fair, ISM, ty And State aforesaid, and that said Arm w ill DAMMED BY PRAIRIE DOGS. German text each letter is perfect, delphia Press. The oarsman who Is In perfect train­ pay the sum of ON'K HHSUKKD DOLLARS for each and every case of C atarrh that cannot be At the end of thirty yeara Hiram and there is not a scratch or blot from A. J. TO W E R c O .to S p rftt.ria R iv e r C h oked U p In T e x a s b y M ig r a ­ ing after prolonged exercise gets tired cured by the use v f H a l l ’« C atarrh C o r k . Hd to Hd. Each chapter begins witb had accumulated a fortune. Hla w ife In his calves and insteps. Boston. C. S. A. FRANK J. CHKNKY. tio n o f th e L i t t l e A n im a ls . Sworn to before me and subscribed In my a large Illuminated letter, in which is and daughter were delighted. “ For,” These facts point to the conclusion presence, “The prairie dog migration from this 6th day of December, A. P , 18 K 6 . Tow er Canadian Co, drawn the figure of a saint, some Inci­ said they, with becoming modesy. “we A. W. GLEASON, Oklahoma to southwestern Texas dur­ that In any continued effort we should Notary Public. now not oniy have money enough to dent of whom the chapter tells. try to alter the habit of contraction. ing July, 1874, eclipsed anything of i B~ Li Toronto, Canada , cut a splurge, but poor dear papa Is that sort witnessed by white men In That is to say, the body, like the mind, F ir s t L i t e In s u r a n c e P o l i c y . Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken Internally, and Fakers of Warranted Wat Wtatker dotting too broken down to appear among the needs change of work. acta directly on the blood and mucous surfi this country,” said Matt D ubr last The first life Insurance policy of best people.”— Life. • f the system. Bend f r testimonial*, free. week. “Millions of the frisky little which too details are on record result­ r. J. CHKNKY & CO., Toledo, O. “ It’s so long since you last called barkers must have been In quest of C ity C ou n try F o lk s . Bold by DrugKists, 75c. ed la a law suit William Gybbons in­ Hail's Family Pills aro the hast Mrs. Upmore— H ow ia your experi­ upon me 1 w as beginning to think you new pastures or perhaps smelled that sured himself on June lfi, 1583, for were forgetting me," saidA llss Pechla, the approaching legions of homeseek- ment o f living in the country succeed­ £383 against dying In twelve months. N o t Q a ite S a tisfa c to ry . ing ? H e did die on May 18 of the next year, aa she came down to the yonng man ers would surely exterminate the dogs Hicks— I understand that you have Mrs. Hyems— It isn’t so bad as you and the disgusted underwriters (the In the parlor. " I ’m for getting you," and plow up the dog towns. bad a telephone put io your bouse. Mrs. replied the ardent youth, “and It’s for might expect It costs us more, of company of those days) contested pay­ Wicks must find it a great convenience. ‘T h e prairie dog migration from ment oa the plea that he had lived getting you that I ’ve called to-night the north to the southwest lasted six course, to have our butter and fresh Wicks— Yes; but she doesn’t like it twelve aoonths of twenty-eight days Can I have you?”— Kennebec Journal. days, during the month of July, 1874. vegetables brought out to us from Urn half as well as she thought she would. sack.— W orld’s Work. Tbe passenger who had been holding The traveling ‘dogs’ while crossing the city, but w e don’t have to entertain You see, when she is using it she has to hlmaelf up by a strap sat down in a Red river interfered to a great ex­ nearly as mneb company as we did in listen half the time.— Somerville Joupr- O re and F o o t naL seat that had Just been vacated. tent with the cattle that came to that the city.— Scottish American. Pennsylvania, which makes more There la plenty of room, ma’am,” be stream to quench their thirst Some toan half the iron used In the United said to the pudgy, little matron sitting cowboys that were on the banks of States, produces less than 2 per cent next ’Don’t move.” “ W e don’t have Red river during the time when the o f the Iron ore mined. Ohio, which to,’’ she said, with a cheerful smile; prairie dogs swam across say that the oomes next to Pennsylvania as an iron- ‘w e own the house w e live lu.” — Chi­ stream waa chockful o f the little ras­ maker, mines less than 1 per cent of cago Tribune. cals for many miles up and down the the total. In both cases the ore Is " I tell ye w h a t " asserted Old Man river. brought to the fuel, and this la the Those afflicted with Eczema know Sptggets. “that there painter feller la "The thirsty cattle were either un­ policy in this country. Only In A la ­ a fine artist” “ W hat Impressed you able or unwilling to stick their moutha more than can be told of the suffering imposed b y this “ flesh bama are tbe ore and fuel found to­ Ths C H A T H A M TJ abont hla work?” “ Well, ther’ was a into tbe water through the moving fire.” It usually begins with a sligh t redness of the skin, which grad ually gether.— Scientific American. M IL L , with Sacking attachment, pictnr be called T h e Rainstorm,’ an’ mass of living prairie dogs. Tbe cow­ spreads, followed by blisters and pustules discharging a thin, sticky fluid w ill dean and grade all kinds of swan, It w as that nat’ral that I boys were getting ready to drive tbe that dries and scales off, leaving an inflamed surface, and at times the itch­ J « k « W aa o a H e r. Grain and Seeds. T h e only machine in g a n d burning are^ almost unbearable. W h ile a n y part o f the body is hadn’t looked at It three minutes be­ Member of congregation—Do yon famishing stock to a distant stream, to be attacked, the that has screens and ridilrc made know ^ your sermon on coveteonanesa fore my corns begin burtln’ me.”— but tbe Bed river became clear of tbe ì on my left limb the hands, feet, back, arms, face Eczema made its sp especially for cleaning grain on tbs last Sunday grievously offended and Cleveland Leader. repelling swimmers after blocking the j and le g s aie the parts most rize of my thumb in 1093 . and spread until it was Coast. T o convince you that thit disgusted Brother Pneer? Prosperity?” said Dr. SUghcem, the useful drinking place for about a often afflicted. The cause of large os my hand, burning, itching and paining Grain Cleaner is as represented I w ill The Rev. K. Moffatt Laightiy— Aha! eminent surgeon. “There Is altogether week. It w as generally supposed that Eczema is a too acid condi- P“ ’ * ntl for which I could get no relief, until see- •end you one on 30 days’ free trial lng the other cures advertised by you I wrote and I shall have to tell my w ife that It’s too much prosperity! It Is killing bust- tbe ‘dogs' baited when they had and w ill pay the freight. t on o f the blood. The cir- 8ecumj the advise of your physicians, commenced a good one on her. Shf contended all In what way?” asked the reached the staked plains of Texas. culation becomes l o a d e d s. S. S. and it cured me. W rite me for our Descriptive Cat­ the way ffome from church that morn­ other. “ Why, sir, almost anybody "There have been some eccentric cy­ with fiery, acid poisons that Mayetta, Kan. J. H. S p k n c * . alogue and " o n tim e " proposition ing that there wasn't a man In the au­ can afford to have appendicitis nowa­ clones in this country. Ohe oh the a r « f o r c e d through the . "T — it w ifi interest you. dience who bad paid the slightest at­ days, and, in consequence, all o f my South Canadian in the year 1892 de- glands and pores of the skin which set the flesh aflame. Since the cause o f tention to the aermon._______ best patients regard It as too common, honied about sixty steers, bnt , re- the disease is in the blood it is a waste of time to try to cure it with local and refuse to have I t ”— Chicago Trib- fralned from otherwise hurting tbe applications; thocause must be removed before a cure can be effected. S . S S. Taken at Mia W o rd . GEO. W. EOOTT Mr. Newly— W e don't appreciate una 1 animals. One cyclone between Still-1 has no equal as a remedy for Eczema; it enters the Portland, Oregon Dept 11 things we get for nothing. Everybody A gentleman who was In the habit water and Connell Creek, about eight h l°°d and forces out the poison through the natural likes the things best that cost tbs of dining dally at a certain restaurant years ago, played many fantastic chann«ls, and bu ildsn p the entire system. The skin most _ ssld to the waiter (an irishman!: “In- tricks. It pulled all tbo feathers out becomes smooth and soft again, and the Eczem a ia N a 15-1*05 r *- u. Mrs. Newly— Then yoB must tore me »teed of tipping yon every day, P n t of Ok. L. Curry’s 118 chickens, and Cured CaSeS th,at b,aTe Pe? ifttenU>' reius<^ to ** a great deal, because I’ve beard you I will give you yonr Op In a lump after taking the naked poultry through ™\der *he ordlnary treatment yield to its pu rifyin g, cooling effect on BN writing to adv«rU««m piaros and -------- any advice wished, without charge. say that you paid very dearly for ms. sum at the end of the month.” "W ould the air for about ten mllea, dropped “ ® W ood- Book on “ Skin Diseases ---------------J J----------- ----------------------------------- monti.>n thl« popar. — Detroit Free Press. you motnd paying me in advance, them In the road. A colored man, who THE SW IFT SPECIFIC C O ., ATLANTA, C A m soVr7" "W e ll! that is rather a strange happened to come from Pawnee City request. However, If yon are In want shortly after, picked np ever fifty of of some money now, here’s half s the naked chickens. H e concluded crown for you, but did you mistrust that the picked hens and roosters had me?” "Oh, no, soit , but I sm I savins been sent from heaven for hla special Colar m «r» goods brighter «nd faster colors than any other dr*. On« 10c i w l a t « catón silk, wool mod cation r n« «1ty * » l mod Is t * «rentero 1« g K « parfact rrsuNs. Ask dealer, or we will send post paid at 10c o package. Writ« far fraa booklet bow to dya, bars to-morrow.” b e n e fit”— -Kansas City JoumaL kKocb aad mis calara. MONROE DRUG CO.. UaianviOe. Miaaanri. © J S e a m S ip o o p iW fiC it fir PUTNAM a i»u iî? iS fe i FADELESS 1 DYES