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About Newberg graphic. (Newberg, Or.) 1888-1993 | View Entire Issue (March 30, 1889)
v TW O DOZEN RULES. V ktt to Du WkMl Your rint B»by O di l u I 'l n l T o o t h . 1. Telegraph at once to hU grand la t h e r and maternal aunte. 2. Ask the baby if he really has It, taking care not to address him in En glish undetlled. 3. Send word to the office that you will not be down to-day. 4. Avoid any jest which requires you to soy that baby is now old enough to chews for himself. 5. Moke an entry in your diary to the effect that atoothis born unto you. a Do not temper your joy with such pessimistic thoughts as dentist's bills inspire. 7. Swear off letting the littlo one chow your watch unless you like your hunting case to have dents in it. 8. Do not ask the child's mother if slio doesn’t think it strange that the other teeth don't appear. y. If you are a poor man don't buy the youngster a silver backed tooth brush on the strength of tho llrst molar. 10. Donut tell an experienced father that you think it is a wisdom tooth, lie will know better, and will prob ably go home and tell his wife v.hat an unsophisticated cow you arc. 11. Donut insist upon feeding the boy on beefsteak right away. 12. Do not imagine that that is the only tooth in the world, and eschew undue personal vanity because of the new comer. You didn’t grow tho tooth. Leave conceit to the baby. 13. Kemomber that there are more teeth to come, and do not lavish too much enthusiasm on the first. 14. Make the youngster stop biting the piano legs and newspapers. 15. Never give theater parties in honor of a first tooth. 16. (let the baby a toy to mark the occasion, if you like, but do not move Into a more commodious house be cause of it. 17. Do not waste your money on newspapers to see what they have to say about the now arrival. 18. Do not tell your friends about it more than eight times a day. 19. Do not charge udmission to la dies who want to see it, or over-esti mate its drawing attractions by taking it on a starring tour through tho sub urbs. There are some things Unit sub urban residents won't pay to see, and one of them is the first tooth uf an other man’s baby. 20. If you deposit $100 in the bank In the child’ s name, as a reward lor his gallant feat, do not draw it out again undor six months If you want to get Interest on it 21. Do not ask your wife to let you take tho tooth down to tho club with you to show to tho boys. You’ ll have to take tho baby with you if you do, and if there is one thing that is more out of plaeo than another in u club it is a one-toothed baby. 22. Do not overtax tho tooth, and see that baby does not bite off more than he can chow. 23. If tho tooth is loose don’ t pul! it out and have it sot ¡o a ring, nor must you fasten it in more firmly with stra- tlna. Lot nature take Its course. 24. Do not be disappointed if the first tooth comes without gold filling in it. By a judicious observance of these two dozen vital regulations your baby may have a tooth without subjecting the world to any undue excitement amt without disturbance to the stock mar ket. N. Y. Evening Nows. AT THE B O X -O F F IC E . D u p lica te * o n E x h ib itio n in F v e r jC I t y on M a tin e e A fte r n o o n * . . ly honest I mus' reply dat it don't— n it hy a jug-full!” Eld- r loots was then called upon. C O N S I M P M O N C l 'K K l ) . A T e r r ib le V tlk fe r tu n r . An old ptiyili-Uu, r. tir.si from prsi-tics, b a v | It 1> a calam ity o f the direst kind to feel that in s hwj pim eli lu til» I and* by su t:«>t lu-lis oue < physical energies are fa iling in the prime mlusiouHry tl, . /..rum)* o f a »Imple v ese tabi, remedy fer the iin-e-iy au-1 permaueut cure o f | o f life—to feel more nerveless, more dispirited, l o n c im p tlo u , Broni'hitl i, ratarrb, Asthma. i weaker every day. Yet this is the unhappy lot o f hundreds w ho surround us. A source o f re* , tlve siili radicai i-ur-- for Xt-rvous Deblllty sud all Nervou» roni|,Isiats, after tisvlug r.-st. d lts ! uewed strength which science approves, iu be- - w onderful i-u u'Ive i-owera ia tliourundH o f half o f w hich multitudes o f the debilitated ' l aK », bau felt it bis dui)* to muke it k u o u u to have and are every day testifyiug, and w hich, i bla .uHY-rlug fellowa. Ai-tuated by t b l . m otivo iu countless instances, lias built up con stitu and a deaire to relieve tonnati suffl-rlng, I arili tions sapped by weakness and infirm ity and j se-nd free o f chanre. to a ll wbn delire u , tbia re long unbenefitted by other means, surely co m cip e, In Gennaio Freni h or Kuxllab, wtth filli mends itself to all who need a tonic Hostet d ir etlons for preparili» and unta*. Seut by Ur's Stomach Bitters is such a m ed icin e—pure, m ali bj a-ldreaaiior wlth alami,, namiuir tbia botanic, soothing to the nerves, p r m otive o f paper, W. A. N oi fcS, iik fVwer » block, liochcn- digestion au'l a fertilizer o f the blood. Dys pepsia uud nervousness—the first a cause, the Ur, -V. r. second a consequence o f lack o f stamina—de part when a course o f the hitters is tried. All Truth can be outrage! by alienee a nile aa forms o f malarial disease, rheumatism, kidney cru elly aa by apeech. ami bladder trouble, constipation and billious- uess are annihilated by tnis standard family , C o n s u m p t i o n , S c r o f u la , C e n e r a i m edicine. I f r l i l l i t y , \% H a t in g D i s c u s e s o f i 't a l l . i A man that gets the w om an he wants seldom i l r i - n , C hron ic rou gh » and Hroiieliitaa, can be gets uuy other good thing. cured by the uac of Sii* 11 11 *s t: III II Ia lin a o f 1’ ure Cod Fiver Oil with Hyiiopiioapliitea. W hite Elephant of Siam, Lion of Eng Prom inent pbvaieiaus use it anil testify to ita trroiit value, Plea-e read the follow in g : ■■ I land, Dragon of China, Cress of Switzer, tlaeil Scott’» gniuiai-lll for an ohatiliutc Cough land, Danner of Persia, Crescent of Egypt- with Hemorrhage, I-oaa o f Appetite. Kinat-la Double Eagle of Russia, Star of Chili, The j tioll, SleepleaM,.-a, A:e. Ali o f Mieto- have now Circle of Japan, Harp of Erin. left, and 1 believe you Kiutllaioil Iota aaved a To get these buy a box of the genuine ■ o f well-developed C onsum ption.’'—T. J. D k . C. M el a n k ' s C elebrated L iver F in iil k y , M. li., bone star, Texas. There were three of them, and each j an . *e,8 '! ’ if dur' urn any one pusson in De wore a tailor-made suit and a half- masticated caramel. They came hur troit who has hud chicken fur dinner rying and skurrying up to the ticket- any oftener dan i hev 1 should like to seller’s w indow, und he shut his teeth see his photograph, an' yit whar’ am firmly together and braced himself de pusson who dare stall’ up an’ say I against a pillar for - hat he knew was steal chickens! I used to bo strictly honest. If 1 found a cent in do rood coming. “ Are there any good seats left for I went whoopin’ up an’ down to find an own- r. If a $26 lost dog crept un- the matinee ?” asked one of them. d -r my house to be t#kt-^ keur of until “ Yes’m. Here are three----- ’’ “ Oh, mercy! We don’t want to sit advertised I drove him out an’ let de man next douh get de money. I not there—do we, girls?” only paid the house rent on the day it "Oh, no!” “ Of course not. Here: We want to was due, but made all repairs out o’ my own pocket. I run right down sit about here.” hill, an' by an’ by I woko up to find de “ Those scats are all sold.” ole woman out o’ ’taters. Hour, meat, “ Oh, that's too had!” sugar, tea und every thing else ’cept "Isn't it, though?” “ How’d you like a front balcony Hough on Rats an’ two bars o’ soap, while my toes war out in Jinuary F ills , price th cents, and mail us the out seat, Katie?” weather. On dat same mornin’ as I ide wrapper with your address, plain! \ j “ Oh, I'd rather bo down stairs.” When girla an- obi enough fo r a lover they written, and 1 cents in staixps. We VYe will wi was gwinedown town, I heard one man are a m atch ior any gray head. “ We could see everybody come in | then mail you tho aVove Hat with an ele say to another: Say, Jim, see dat from the bulcony.” gant package of oleographic and chro ■Bright’ » D i s e a w c C u r e d . ‘ •That’s so; but then—there! Are pusson? Ho ar’ do fool nigger of De A bout tw o years ago our daughter had co n m a lic«art’ s. F l e m i n g B r o s ., P i t t s b u r g , P a . troit. If ho had a quarter wid a hole gestion o f the kidneys, w hich developed into those three seuts sold?” in it he would frow it in do ribber fur Bright’s DI svmhc . Her body was swollen to an “ Yes’m.’’ Woman is never too angry to be without a enorm ous sizt— measuring 45 inches around fear of accidentally passln’ It off on a the waist, and 1H inches below the knee. After m outhful o f sweet words. “ Oh, that’ s too badl" millyonary.’ Dat sot me to thinkin’. physician* had given up her ease, I determined “ Isn’t it, though?” have her try Hr. Kennedy’s “ F avorite R em A S l i g h t C o l d , ii neglected, often attacks ! Dat wery night I stole a lot of wood, to e d y ,” o f Kondout, N. Y. Gradually the swell the Lungs. “ Brown's Bronchial Troche«*' give im “ I just think it’s mean.” in g was reduced from 4.» to 29 inches. She b e mediate relief. throe ohickuns, a bag o’ 'tutors an' a “ I can give you those three seats, gan to gain strength, and was able to walk pair of butes, an’ I liev prospered eber without fatigue. We do not know how to e x miss.” To the spider the web is as large as to the press our gratitude for what it lias done for our since. I specks it will boa little harder “ Oh, they’re too near the stage. ch ild . Wi are confident the Favorite Remedy whale the w h ole wide sea. on mo when I cum to de gates of w ill do all that is claim ed for it—surely God Aren't they, girls?” lias blessed it In this case, and we earnestly “ Yes. indeed. I'd rather be too far Heaven, but I am doin’ powerfully recom m end if to a ll suffering from kidney d is woll down yore below an’ increasin' orders—S. I). Van Buskirk, Pemarest, N. Y. back than too near.” D r . K ennedy ’ s F avorite R e m ed y , made at my fat ebery day.” R oudout, N. Y. $1; fi for $5. “ Wish wo could have a box.” Send for book, how to cure Kidney, Liver aud Whalebone llowkor, being asked for “ Wish we could." Blood disorders. his experience, gave it as follows: “ Here’s three seats, miss.” “ I was do honestest man in Detroit It ta k ;os ... two to tell a lie—o n e to speak and one “ Oh, I don’t believe we could half ii. until a merchant sold mo two cotton to listen. see from there.” I )i» g t iN t in g S k in D is e a s e » . "W ell, we must have seats where undershirts fur all wool, an’ one of his | we can seo, for the dresses are lovely, cash boys beat mo outer twenty cents j What spectacle is more disgusting than of do change. On dat sumo day my that of a man or woman w’ ith a skin dis they say. ” “ I know. Maude Billings and I had pound of coffee was shoit an ounce an’ ; ease which shows itself In pimples or those seats last Saturday afternoon. a half, a peddler gin my wife a lead blotches on hands, arms, face and neckl , dollar, an' de landlord lied mo out of a It is simply impure blood. S ?e what They’ re lovely seats.” " I like to sit about ten rows back." woek’s rent. De worm turned, I sat B ranurktii ’ s P ills did for a chronic case : “ Do you? I like to be a little nearer down an’ counted up dat I started life George Chapman, Pincening, Mich , j wid fo’ hundred dollars an' had been than that.” s a y s: roduci:il to about sixteen, i went out “ For four years I was in the Mounted “ Oh, I don’t mind being a row or dat night an' stolo a bar’ l of salt from Infantry in the U. S. Arm y, residing dur two nearer, either; but if one gets too ing that »line prim ipally in Texas. A l ' a grocer, an’ befo’ ten o’clock next day near----- There’s three lovely seats all most all of ttuu time I had a chronic skin dat worry man had trusted mo fur fo’ disease, char cterized by an eruption over by themselves. Are they taken?” pounds of brown sugar—a tiling ho had the entire surface of my legs and th'ghs, “ Yos’ ni.” refused to do a thousand times befo'! arms and chest. The doctor termed ft ec "Oh, that’s too bad!” zema. I f ail given up all hopes of ever From dat date I have steadily gono up being cured, when I’ haxdkktu ' s P ills “ Isn’ t it, though?” | hill, an’ to-day I wouldn’t surrender were recommended to me. I concluded “ Supposing we do try the balcony?” my property fur less than throe thou- to try them, and did so, and I have "W ell, I don’t care." thanked God daily since then that I did j sand dollars.” so. I think I us d them altogether for "You willing, Maud?" Shindig Watkins, Pernambuco John- about three months, and, by that time “ Oh, / don’t care.” Ra superior excellence proven In millions of homes for I son, Throe-Ply Davis and Porforated was comph tely cured and have never had more than a quarter of a century. It is used by the “ All right; give us three good front- trouble since. My skin is as clear as United | Jones, all spoke to tho same point, de- any States Government. Endorsed by the heads of an} one’s.” row balcony seats.” the Great Universities as the Strongest, Pureataod most | daring that strict honesty was the Healthful. Dr. Price a Cream Baking powder does not “ Bo sure and give us good ones." conUiiu Ammonia, Lime or Alum. Sold only in cans. highway to the poor-house,and Brother Many roads lead to happiness besides the one PRICE BAKING POWDER CO. “ Yes; right In the eentor of----- " we take. I Gardner then said: NEW YORK. CHICAGO. SAN FRANCISCO. “ The first and second rows in the j “ I ar’ not a bit surprised. My own C o n s u m p tio n S u re ly Cured* T hs B U Y E R S ’ G U ID E i t balcony arc all sold, miss.” experience fur do las’ fo'ty years has T o the E d itor :—Please inform your readers issued March and Sept., “ Oh, that’s too bad!” taught me dat de pusson who starts that I have a positive remedy for the above J each year. I t la an enoy. named disease. By its tim ely use thousands 1 "Isn’t it, though?" clopedia of useful infor out to bo strictly honest won t have o f hopeless « uses have been perm anently cured. mation for all who pur “ It's so provoking!” I shall be glud to send two bottles o f m y reme ’taters on Ills table ha f de lime. 1 dy free tn any o f your readers w ho have co n chase the luxuries or the “ Well, what are the next very best don-t coun9el a man to be dishonest— sum ption if they w ill send me their express necessities o f life. W e ean clothe you and furnish you with •eato y ° u haveP’ fur from it. I ar'down on a rogue first aud postotlice address. Respectfully, T. A. HLOCILM, M. 1*1 Pearl st.,N ew York. all the necessary and unnecessary “ These threo right----- ’’ an' last an’ all do time. But what I appliances to rido, walk, dance, sleep, "Oh, thoso uro horrid!" name is a far bigger shield than A husbaud’i eat, fish, hunt, work, go to ohurch, advise Is a course lyin’ between stealin’ a father’s. “ 1 don’t want to B it there." or stay at home, and In various sizes, a red hot stove nu’ heatin' a street kyar styles and quantities. Just figure out “ Supposing we go around and seo out of a ride, if I go to de grocery what Is required to do all these things the 'Queen's Mato.” ’ COMFORTABLY, and you can make a fair und pay cash down, dut grocer has no “ All right; supposing we do.” estimate o f the value o f the B U Y E R 8 ’ furder use fer me. If I git trusted ho G U ID E , which w ill be sent upon And away they go, to the combined keeps track of me an’ is anxious about receipt o f 10 oent* to pay postage, delight and disgust of tho waiting my health und prospects. If I git MONTGOMERY WARD A CO, crowd behind them.—Time. 111-114 Michigan Avenue, Chicago, H I trusted fur thirty days, I kin stand him off thirty mo’, arid he is jist as ready to wait on mo an’ deliber my goods as T H E L IM E K IL N C L U B . if I paid spot cash. Somebody stole S w ift’ s Specific cured m e o f Cancer, w hich was I t s M e m b e r . ( 'o i l r l i l d e T h a t I t H u e » N u t my dog. l’ze got to git ebon or I'ze so hereditary, fo r my futher die«! o f Cancer. M y case FOR E V E R Y PORR OSE. I ’ u y t o I t s S trl.-tljr Ilm it-N t. resisted all oth er treatme t. in fact grew w orse all much de poorer. A merchant charges the tim e. 1 left o ff all oth er rem edies, and took Sold on Trial ! "Doorin’ do past fortnight,” said S. S. s . w h ich forced out the poison until m y system Brother Gardner, as the meeting me fur all wool an’ it turns out to be w as clea nsed, when the Cancer healed, n o t even sin ce has been excellen t. S A D S IT U A T I O N S . opened, “ ! hev received scores of letters liulf cotton. I'ze got to ebon up some leavin g a sign. My health M rs . L a u r a K. D kkwan , Hanson, Ga., Rept. 2U, '88. exproHsin' heart-felt sympathy wid my how. If 1 pay $2 fur shoes which gin T il* lu s t 1 rM illll i,r ii I. o v I iik M o t h e r '. Send fo r Treatise on Cancer and B lood Disease«; misfortunes an’ breathin' good wishos me only $1 worth of wa’ r. I mils' muko m ailed free. HW I F T S P E C IF IC C( I I f « —l ’ r*-|»ai lu g fu r I n ,u n ity . up dat loss or I can’t hold my own. D ra w e r». Atlantu. (»a. fur de fueller of dis club. 1 wish to 1 remember being taken by my As a matter of sentiment an’ principle lYivostmcYit sihitl, profit« mother when I was a child to see a return my tliiiuks to ail sich, an’ to honesty ar’ de best policy. As a mat lArge. Semi 20 e for mailing large illustrated Catalogue p ior woman who was dying of a rancor. add dat I am o.imillions' as good us now ter of fact uu’ daily practice it doan’ with full particulars. Man ufactured by The disease was eating Its way to a agin." amount to shucks. Wo will now ad After tlie reading of the minutes of F. G Austin Mr?Co. vital part and her doctor had given journ. an' do janitor will search each lO V oc 1 «U L a k e S t., her a mouth us her utmost limit of tho last meeting and other routine member as lie goes out an’ seo if I CHICAGO. ILL. life. She was preparing for her end business Brother Gurduor stated that | hookin' de candles.” —Doh-oit in a way that seemed practical and he hud been asked to secure 1111 expres I’ ress. prosaic enough, but that struck me ns sion of opinion on tlie question: “ Does A Fine Moral Distinction. pathetic In its self-forgetfulness. Mo It Pay to be Strielly Honest?” Ho Because a gull ia a very foolish bird that will wn» sitting up In bed, with a basket would call upon Sir Isaac Walpole, as “ James,” said the grocer, as he ! swallow anything you offer it. When yju ask beside her, finishing up the family the oldest member, first. j for ‘ ‘Seal of North Carolina Plug Cut” Smok mending, showing her eldest daughter “ 1 war in hopes dat queshun would looked up from tho ivirriii'g ¡siper, ing Tobacco, and the dealor wants you to try - on whose thirteen-ycHe-old shoulders nebbor cum up in this club," said the “ they have begun to make maple sugar in Vomnont already." A 8 t lin ia r CougliN,' P ohlk , C roup, To | some cheap brand on which ho makes a much the burden of household cam was old veteran, in reply. “ It ar'aqueshun “ Yes. sir,'* said the clerk, with ready ll lie n z a , BroiH’liitiN, C a ta r rh , W h o o p ; larger profit, he is simply trying to "gull” you. seen to fall -how to fell down seams which lias caused me many sleepless in g -C o u g h , L oan o f V o ic e , I n c ip ie n t in the littlo brother's knee patehos nights, ini' which 1 hev nebber bin able comprehension. "Thoso maple sugar C o n su m p tion , nu<l ’. a ll ^ T h r o a t and lie knows p. a well as you do that "Seal of North bricks left over from last year are j Carolina Plug Cut” is tho most popular and j l . o n f T ro n hies. und how to darn the heel of father's to settle to my own snt isfakshun. On one I’ ll have them sand ! the liest Smoking Tobacco on the Pacific Coast. sock, so thill 1m would never feel the occushim I found a wallet in de road. It down cellar. -» J. R. CATES & CO., PROP’S. difference. She had impressed upon contained $30, an’ when I restored it papered and put in tho front window 417 SnuMouu* Street. San Francisco. Cal. the girl how to make her father's to de owner lie liunded me all de money to morrow morning." “ Have you the same sign you hod favorite potato pone, how to manage an' thanked mo licsidcs. On several her young sister when she got Into the other occashuns I hev found wallets last year to stick up in the box?” j I do not mean merely to stop them for a time and "Yes. it reads 'Fresh from Ver sulks, w hat to do for her father w hen and spent $2 worth of time huntin' up then have them return again. 1 mean a radical cure. 8mith*3 Cash Storo, 418 Front St., S. F., Cal. ! I have made the disease of Firs, e f il k p s Y or FAi.L- lie hail Ills periodical fit of cramps— de owner an’ bin rewarded wid ten mont. Strictly pure.” ’ - i no sh un ¡-. ha a life-long study. I w arrant my remedy largest goner« 1 dealers west o f the Mississippi “ You may use that sign again, I tti cure tlie worst cases. Because others have faile 1 is and every tiling else she could think cents. A grocer once gin me n$tl) bill River. Dry Goods, Notions, Hosiery, Under no reason fur not now receiving a cure. Scud at once j f.-r a treatise and a free bottle of my infallible remedy of that would insure comfort In the fur n $l, I liainled it bnek an’ he giv' James. I don't think it would be exact wear; Wall Paper, Stationery, Blankets, Bed | Give Express and Post Office. ly right to paint a new one with that i humble home she was leaving. Mm me half a pound of ten. Do very next d ing; Boots, and Shoes; Canned Goods, Dry 1! (1 ROOT. M U , 183 Pearl 8t.. New York. fruits; W ooden, Tin, Crockery, Glass .Granite had all the week planned which she week I giv' him a $5 bill fur a $2, an’ inscription."- Chicago Tribune. anti Hardware. Meat, Fish, Provisions, Honey, C K H U U / A Y E K 4 5 l l t 'H , P R A M K 4 would do during the short span uf life ho kept it an’ swore dat 1 was a liar. Bi FORE AND AFTER. M t l l l l Y r t l . B A C H . Gaoler, RoenU l Grain, Feed, Groceries, Pure Spices, Seeds, Be Unit was given to her. Her burial " i f I buy meat the butcher works Plano«; Pnrdett Organa, band tnetnimeoftp. Large«1 ans; Drugs, Medecines; Clocks. Am m unition, > r juk of Sm et M-usio and >ucka Bands % A H it t»f H x i'o r lo n o p W h i c h M in t M n r r t n l clothes were folded away la a drawer mo’ or less bone in on me,” continued fancro Prto*l MATTHIAU GRAY OU. Rubber Goods, Tents, and quantities o f o th e r F o lk * 11.»%»» II.%il. Htreet, San Frandaoc w ith sweet basil leaves among them. the old man. ‘If I buy wood or coal it goods at lowest prices for Cash ouly. Send 2 a "George, dear,” nho s:iid. a night or I was reminded of the incident hy ar’ alius a lectio shorL I expect de •tamp for full list by first mail, and learn h o w tolivoeh «”o a n d well at small cost; 32 years in reading in a paper recently of a man dry-goods man to cheat inoro or loss, two before tho wedding, "do yon think business; Gustoiners tn every County west o f 1 Dr. W eatherby’s A ntidote«. In use 17 years. In Milwaukee who is preparing for an’ do hatter an’ shoemaker doan' alius It pOBfdble that our love and our mar M orphine Habit Cure also. Corres- something that is even more terrible stick to faeks. If I war’ strictly hon ried life can become the common the Rocky Moumaius, aud many elsewhera. ' ■ Special pondenee C onfidential. Call on or address J. - J. AIKEN. Manager, Room 28, St. A nn’s B uild than death Insanity, lie will lie vio es' I reckon 1 should land in de poo’- place. coldly practical love and life of ing, San Francisco. lently Insnno in a few weeks, and he houso in about a year. I doun’ advise the married people wo see around us? TIIS GREAT 0V'INLAND ROUTE! to a d a y . Samples worth # 4 . 1 5 knows it. Some time ago ills skull Sny one to lie dishonest, but it ar* my O, George, my heart would break U 1 N L l ) K K E E . Lines not under horses* feet was fractured; n gristle is fast forming opinyun dat If you find n pug-dog run thought ho . m Write B r e w s t e r B iU V t) R e in "Hut it will not be so," said George, . H o l d e r C o .. H o l l y . M i c h . alHiut the cracked edges, which wit! ning nround de streets he should be surely press upon the brain and make taken home nml tied up to de bed-post passionately. "W e love each other too J . H . I ’ l S K .A s s a y r r a i i d A n a ly t ic a l C h r u iis t Laboratory. 104 rtrvt st, Portland. him a manias'. He talks calmly and until some one advertises a liberal re tenderly, too fondly for that Oar love I t A l l . l t O A I ) , Or. Analyses made of all mbs tan cos. is not of .the ordinary kind, my darling, rationally of his approaching fate, and ward an’ no questions axed.” and our lives will not bo so. Ah, no, The ONLY LINK H om ing Dull»van Palace spends every moment of his brief term A SECRET YOU WOULD Waydown Holier thou spoke as fol Sleeping Onrs. M agnificent P ay ('cach e«, like to know , especially no, my angel; that can never be." of sanity in making provision for his lows: and Kh'ganl E m igrant Sleeping M v r hi ed L a DIRS o f d eli Cars (w ith berths free of Ami the othei day she said: fsinily when he shall no longer be cate health. Send stamp | “ Dar' was a time when I was so ch arge) for full particulars o f this great boon to wom en, "Say. George, how would you like able to care for them. Il is a situation strictly honest dat ober fifty of the F R O M W \ S 1 I ’ N G I O N’ A N D O R E G O N vent in securely sealed letter. DK. GRAEME, IVIN T O T H K E A S T v ia worthy tho pen of a novelist like nayburs' chickens used to roost in my baked beans for dinner, with pumpkin box lM l. San F rancisco, Cal. pie dessert-P You would? All right, Daudct. N V. Fashion Bazar. back yard o’ nights At de same time St. Pau! and Minneapolis. ®cn nnn*iv " ,w,,> in,’r|'' i’ll knee«. II M h then, baked beans goes. And don’t ____ P j U i UUU k I . Ml * ÀKEV, Fhlllipsbitnr. kan» dem nayburs borrowed money of me you forget that bottle of food for the Transit'oiitinoli al Line R k w akp — l f you bave un Old Bore thst ueeds an’ dun forgot to pay it back, an’ if I Hun.. •'* baby, or I’ll send you back aft r it, ami h» siin e, and thst other rer.iedies bave failed to j heat; or « breaking ont or itehina o f thè •oalp —A misurxlcrstanding. Bobby left a spade out, iloali« ober night it mind that you don't keep dinner w ait P A L A C E or hoilv; or a Boll, Bum . Cut. or anv silm ert for (proud of Ills progress in Latin) — was gone in de mantlin'. If I owed a ing." D IN IN C C A R S . w liie h a Salve ts sultablo. btiy a 25 cent box ot \ in o i whieh i« W srrsnted to *‘l’op, w bat's the Latin for peoplcf" i dsbt I ached to go an’ wake de mnn up And he. with a falling off of the pas F a n t e n t T i m e E v e r Y lm lo f r o m t h e I|«‘ ore w mi evorvthinvelse fails If uot kept hy %t midnight ati’ pny him. U I found Father - ‘ I don't know." Bobby \onr drtwgiM sèmi 25 re o ts la «tanips to J. c . sion %>f ten years ago, says: ( o M t o v e r th e DKMFNT. A g i . Astori«. Or,, and rveeiTe a box . (loudly) -Popull. "Futher(fiereely) "A ll right, Lou; and I with you'd N O R T H E R N P A C IF IC R. R. by inali. half a d- -i lend nickels Li m\ ch.-mge, "W hatdo you mean, you young scamp* sew a huttou on the buck part of those C O U N C IL B LU F FS. Lie. do I* By the piper, la-1. I've half j I melted cm up fur bullets to shoot stripped trouser* of mine; you'll tlnd BICI \ C IT Y . B r. JOSEPH, cuts, if I disk leered ten cents on de a r u m - ‘ o n . a notion to tiuslo you." Binghamton LE V V KNV\ o u r i i . K A NS VSt IT Y . them hanging over r chair in our • flonli tn de post-office I handed it to de Q l l S l Y. Republican. IH KLINt.TOX. CHICAGO. postmaster. I practiced discourse fur room. Don't have the beans as dry a.** ÍT. LtH is. — ‘ •lie w-fis a valuable dog," observed over tlve long years, an’ doorin’ dat the last wore, t nd you watch tho baby’s A nd all i**nts throughout the Ea-d and South- ea»L via St. Paul an d Minneapolis. t h e Uwyer in his reminiscence», --and time I not only run behind $1,000, but cold. That watering of the eves looks h i« owner sued for five hundred dollars, 1 T11K ONLY LINK R C N N W i* like incaslet to me. There's my car. You will Save 25 per cent I heard myself spoken of on all sides but never got it. One link in the tes as a greenhorn, a pancake an’ an idiot. Good-bye!" Detroit k'roo Press. tm * b y p la c in g y o u r Through Emigrant Sleeping Cars o A r n d d e r c o s n f » o ! r d e T r y u p b e i . « P T reea ea . M a t e r ! .1. Inka, timony ns to wlio killed th<- animal w its I finally decided to change. In five KNT1RK LENGTH «»F KOAl> missing." “ And was it never found?" years I lias picked up ober $2.000, am — Wife —"This light ts very poor. And hauled on regular «•*» Trains ov e r the *,C*’ WUU PALM TCR & R E Y . Kntire Length o f th* N orther» C o r n e r F r o n t a n d A ld e r . P o r t a n d . asked the listener. “ Yes, it wa« out of debt an' grocers and butchers Hie gat teem* to bo lower with every I'acide Railroad. found," replied the barrister, without send to tny house an' solicit my trade. week." Husband —"So it does; but A . IV ( 'I ! \ R l T O N G e n . W eet’nP aas. Kgt . One s ig n of feeling, “ it was found When you ax me If it pays to be strict - 1 the bill i s j u I right It gets higher No. .* W ash in g >n «treet. IMIaikd. N. P. >. U. So. *77- 8. F. N. U. No. 35* ' • very u n $ * { Ip p g afterward in a b u t c h e r shoo."- I O FOR T H E D a ju O D ! WELL DRILLS DON’T BE A GULL A BIG S H O W I CUR E FITS ! THE VAN MONCISCAR .P R I V A T E D IS P E N S A R Y . SO S. 133 av.il 134 T l ll l i l ) SI KL.KT, Portland, Oregon. la the only Private Di»- pcuaaiy iu Portland or oo the North « eat Ooast, where patients are success fully treated for ali NEBV- »d s, C H K oN lL AND S t if f n e s s - ot,fíJÍ 8 c 1 C.Sore[lES 3 A t D ruggists and PRIVATE DIKE ASKS iu young or old, single or mas rl. d, such as t O IT MANHOOD, Nervous debility, seminal losses, failing memory, syphilitic emotions, ef- fivta of mercury, kidney and bladder troubles, gon orrhea, glr-ei, stricture etc. D ealers DII CHARLES A. VOQELEH CO.. BHtlmwt. Mi- CONSULTATION F llE K . Diamond Vera-C ura FOR DY8PEP81A. A I N f l l l l CURE TOB UTDIOBSTIOB AMD J i t ttnuit TroablM Anxlnj Titritna^ I W Druggist or General Dealer will jk Verm tibra for you if not already in stock, or it veil b4 sent by mail on receipt of 25 cU. (6 boxes ft .00) 1m stamps. Sample sent on receipt nf 1-cent stamp. by return mail, full descriptive < circulars of MOODY'S NEW TAILOR SYSTEM OF DRESS CUTTINQ. A ny la d y of ordi nary intelligence can easily an l quickly’ learn to cut and make any garment, in any* style to any measure for lady or child. Address n u OMASLES A. VOSELER CO.. BiMaon. 8 4 Ome fnpriMon m J MuEUttutu I prescribe and fully en dorse Big <; as the only specific for the certain cure o f this disease. G. U. IN G R AH A M , M D . Amsterdam, N. Y. W e have sold Big (« for many years, and it has given the best of satis faction. D. R. DYCH E St CO.. Chicago, III. £ 1 * 0 0 . Sold by Druggists. MOODY & CO., Cincinnati, 0 . A N HONEST DRUGGIST, when askefi For the best blood-purifier, always recommends Dr. Fierce's Golden Medical Discoverv, because be knows it has by far the largest sale and gives tlie best satisfaction to his customers. Golden Medical Discovery cures all humors, from a common Blotch, or Eruption to the worst Scrofula. Salt-rheum, Scaly or Rough Skin, in short, all diseases caused by bad blood are conquered by this powerful, purifying, and invigorating medicine. Great Eating Fleers rapidly heal under its benign influence. Especially lias it manifested its potency iu curing Tetter, Eczema, Erysipelas, Boils. Carbuncles. Sore Eyes, Scrofulous Sores and Swellings. Hip-joint Disease, “ White Swellings,” "Fever Sores,” Goitre, or Thick Neck, and Enlarged Glands. Consumption, which is Scrofula of the Lungs, is arrested and cured by this remedy, if taken in the earlier stages of tlie disease. „ , m . . mm TT v T I Dr. Fit-ree's Golden Medical Discovery XAf iiy .K jK jf5 s .IM T E D . I is the only medicine of its class that is ■ ■mi»i i * guaranteed to benefit or cure, in all eases of diseases for which it is recommended, or the money paid for it will be promptly refunded. For Weak I.ungs, Spitting of Blood, Shortness of Breallt, Bronchitis. Asthma. Severe Coughs, and kindred affections, it is an efficient remedy. Sold by Druggists, at $1.00, or six Bottles for $5.00. C opyright, 1883, by W oBLD’s D is p e x s a h y M u d ic a l A ss o c ia t io n , Proprietors. is conquered by the cleaning, anti septic, sootiiiny nne healing properties of Dr. Sago’s ('atari n Remedy. '.*> c m -, b»* dniH-gts.^ RHEUMATISM m NEURALGIA These twin diseases cause untold suffering. Doctors admit that they are difficult to cure— so do their patients. Paine’s Celery Compound has per manently cured the worst cases of rheumatism and neuralgia—so say those who have used 1L ••Having been troubled with rheumatism at the knee and foot for five years, I was almost unable to get around, and was very often confined to m y bed for weeks at a time. I used only one but- p —- j tie of Paine’s Celery Corn il V pound, and was perfectly \\ \\ cured- 1 now jump II around, and feel as lively as II • a boy.” F rank c a r o u , ■ Eureka, Nevada. $ 1 . 00 . Six for $5.00. Druggists. Mammoth testimonial paper free. W ells . R ich a kdson & CO. .Props.. Burlington. Vt. “ Paine’s Celery Compound has been a God send to me. For the past two vears I have suf fered with neuralgia ot the heart, doctor after doctor falling to cure me. I have now taken nearly four Dottles of the Compound, and am tree from the complaint. I feel very grateful to you .” C has . H. L ewis , Central Village. Ct. P a in e ’s C e le ry C o m p o u n d '•I have beer greatly afflicted with acute rheumatism, and could And no relief until I used Paine’s Celery Compound. After using six bottles of this medicine I am now cured of rheumatic troubles.” S amuel H utchinson , S o . Cornish. N. n . Effects Lasting Cures. Paine’s Celery Compound has performed many other cures as marvelous as these,—copies of letters sent to any address. Pleasant to Dike, do* s not disturb, but aids digestion, and entire ly vegetable; a child can take It. W hat’s the use of suffering longer with rheumatism or neuralgia ? Faster nnd DIAMOND D YE S i Give ^!l k trr nn(i I R A M P S Living upon Lactated Food are Healthy, u tftm u n u U »Co Colors than any other Ilya. | D A a l t o Happy, Hearty. It is Vnajualed. O P I U M 8nAN9!DOTES NE Northern Pacific LADIES! Tfcc Only CLOTHING F o r N Ie n a n d B o y s at it RIM ERS And PUBLISHERS. P THE HASTINGS,” Lick H ouse Block, San Francisco. M A M & BENEDICT. c . c . h T 527 Y e a r s In p n 's e n t lo o n tio n . s t ~ - ó ^ co