MR.
DUNDER
DISGUSTED.
HIS MASTER-PIECE.
Hox Flaaagaa Flanagan Gat Three Haa-
drea aad Fifty Uollars for Elcrao.
“Well, what’s the matter with you?”
queried Sergeant Bendall as Carl Du ri
der limped into the station house the
other day aad flung himself down on
the nearest chair.
“Sergeant, I vhaa here to bid you
good-bye.”
“Xo!”
“I »hsuigning back to Shermany.”
**I declare! What put that into
your head?-’
“I vhas seek und tired. I can't un
derstand de»e people«. Nopody vhas
two time« alike in America.”
“But you told me you were going to
(Ma for aiderman, and that you had
caught on to American politics.”
“Dot Than my troubles. I belief I
know all aboudt her, but I know noth
ings. I vhas going to run for aider
mans. I promise dot hay scales to
feefty men. I promise twenty men dot
dey shall be janitor of der City Hall.
I promised more as one hoonered fel
lers dot dey shall work for the city for
three dollars a day.”
“That was right That's the way
moat of the candidates do.”
•Tes, but I don't understand. Three
days ago a feller comes in my place
und nays vhas I Carl Dunder? I vhas.
Did you promise dot eastern hay scales
to my brudder if he wote fer you? I
did. Vnd did you promise her to more
ash twenty odder fellers, too? I did.
Vhell, you vhas a fraud und a liar,
und now you take dot on der nose!
Und he gifs me sooch a thump dot I
see more ash feefty stars flying aroundt
Ilow does it come dot some Americans
can work dot dodge und be all rightF’
“Well?”
"Vhell, I told you der odder day dot
I promise more ash feefty men dot dey
shall be engineer of the City Hall if
dey wote forme. In comes a man in
my place mit his hat on his ear und
says vhas I Carl Dunder? I vhas.
Vhas yen going to run for some alder
mans? I vbua. Did you promise all
my crowd dot each one of us should
run fler engines mit der City Hull? 1
did. Den, Sergeant, he gifs me sooeb
, a blow on my mouth dot I can’t eat
meat for seex months, und vhen he
goes avhay he says dot forty-nine more
fellers vtias to come after him. Some
American candidates can promise dot
«hop to one hoonered fellers und be all
right. How vhas she?”
"I don’t know.”
“Und pooty queek a feller comes in
my place und says vhas I dot oldt
Dutchmans who vhants to be an aider
man? I vhas. If I vhas elected he
shall get all der paving shobs und
makes lpts of money. He calls me a
liar und says I promise dot same thing
more ash two hoonered times, und he
mops me on my floor und goes avhay
like a lark. If it vhas some American
candidate he vhas all peaches. How
vhas she?"
“I don’t know.”
“Vhell, eafcry day somepody cotnei
und calls me a liar und says I should
be kicked. Eafery day comes some
feller mit bis hat on his ear und
charges me mit holding him oop for a
sucker. My boy Shake vhas scart
, w avhay, my wife vhas seek abed und 1
haf to look up my place or be kilt.”
“It's sad lines,” mused the sergeant
' “Und so I guess I shall go hack tc
Shermany. In dot country I vhas all
right. If a man Bprevhena to me tn
Dutch I know vhat he vhas. If he
shpeaks to me in Yankee may be he
.
a fool of me. I like to go by
J BiR TStiftYnoh Count-ft and be a great
man, but I can’t stand sooch a racket.
I vhas a good enough liar, but I leai
something else out all der while und
der dear peoples tumbles to me. Bare-
well, sargoant. You vhas always twe
times alike, unilT shall feel, good by
you when I sm far ..avhay. If yon
meet some rtider Dutchmans shu3t
spheak mit him und tell him to keep
out of dose politics.”— Detroit Fret
Press.
■ a m.
»
A Few Fashion Notes.
«jBm- Ifenjf-mournlng brooches arc
pansies c: lusterless black enamel with
a diamond conter.
Linked sleeve-buttons are seen re
sembling coupled coffee beans. One
will be silvor, tho other a copper tint,
a third gold and a fourth oxidized
silver.
Ivory salad spoons and forks are
elaborately carved and stained very
dark.
The edelweiss, with its thick furry
petals and centers of pearls is th<
latest flower brooch.
Earrings in form of stirrups, on<
sidessot with diamonds, the other wit!
sapphires, are a novelty.
For table ware the prettiest article»
are silver and cut glass in combination.
Nurses' aprons of white lawn have
two broad widths that almost meet be
hind, and are trimmed with rows ol
insertion and tucks above a hem. The
cap of white muslin has an Alsaciao
bow of embroidery, or else loops ol
colored ribbon are around the crown.
Those worn by foster-mother or wet-
nurse have ribbon ends that hang be
hind almost to the edge of her dres;
skirts.
A ball of cut steel mounted on a sten;
of black enamel is a favorite hat-pin —
N. Y. World.
—Analysis of natural gas shows the
proportion of each constituent in 100
parts of the gas to be as follows: Car
bolic acid and carbonic oxide. 6-1C
each; oxygen, 8-10; olefiant gas, 1;
ethylic hydride, 5; marsh gas. 67; hy
drogen, 22; nitrogen. 3.
—The hand-made time pieces of the
Swiss and French, who have so long
held the supremacy as clockmakers, are
not now regarded as superior to those
of American machine make. The Amer-
eap machine-made watch is as finished
and accurate as its foreigh competitor,
and is. of course, vastly cheaper.
—PeddTer'(to boy)—“Is your ma in,
sonny?” Boy—“Yes. ma's in. What
cher got? Ribbon, fixin's an' things.”
Peddler—“Yep.” “Ma'll be glad to
look at 'em. There was a peddler here
-last week for two hours an' a half.”
Peddler—“Did your ma buy much?”
Boy—"She didn’t buy any thin’. She
never be}- of peddlers; but ma’s a
kind-hparied woman, an’ is always
willin’ to look. Come in. Don't be
’fraid of the dog—lie's just had some
meat.” But tho peddler was evidently
uirxid of the dog.—boALn Days.
—Taking the Safe Side.—Mother-in-
law (who is going home after a visil
of six months)—“Have we plenty ol
time. Witherspoon? I mustn't gel
left" Mr. Witherspoon (dubiously)
—“Well, it's ten minutes' walk to th<
station, and the train will leave it
about an hour and a half. To be or
the Safe side, I think we had belte.*
■tart at once."—A". }". Tribune.
This is the age of barn-door art—that
kind of art which represents a powder-
horn. a rabbit and a lot of other things
hanging against a barn door in such a
way that no one would suppose they
were painted at alL but were really
hung there.
Over such a picture some people go
wild with joy. The naturalness of a
nail-bead, or the folds iu a felt hat
carry them away, and make them feel
better satisfied with themselves and
every thing else.
Flanagan Flanagan had painted many
a Landscape, to which he conveyed the
subtle impressions made upon him by
nature. You could feel the crimson
leagues of calm in his twilight marine
as keenly as you could the musical
rustle of his silver birches.
But so great was the rage for photo
graphic painting that Flanagan Flana
gan. in spite of his seLf-respect and pro
fessional pride, felt that he would for
once have to give the public what it
wanted, because he was in need of the
ever potent shekels of silver that en
able a man to step out into the gloam
ing through the front door, without
stumbling over the wolf.
So Flanagan Flanagan sent a canvas,
representing an old one-dollar bill
slightly crumpled, to a well-known an
nual exhibition.
The pa;>ers began to rave over it in
half-oolumn notices. People who went
to the exhibition stood and looked at
this canvas, as they looked at no other.
“How natural the eyebrows of
Washington look,” said one enthusi
astic young lady; “and the lace ou his
collar Is just perfectly lovely!”
“I never saw any thing like that be
fore,” said a bald man, who looked first
a; the canvas and then at a one-dollar
b.ll which he held in his hand; “now
that's what I call painting."
And so It was with every one. One
would become entranced with the hair
lines, and another over the signature of
the Secretary of the Treasury in the
lower corner.
After a while it was so much talked
about that it was considered the proper
thing to see, if only to be in fashion.
Flanagan Flanagan ran the price up
until it reached three hundred and
fifty dollurs, and it was nip-and-tuck
between three bar-rooms, four prune
merchants and several capitalists to
see who should secure the prize.
There is nothing like barn-door art
for the United States of Chicago,” said
Flanagan Flanagan to a brother painter
at the fifty cent table d’hote a day or
two later: “they don't want the ‘Keene
Valley,’ or the ‘Murmurous Megallo-
way,’ or ‘Near Gloucester,’ or ‘Twi
light’s Soothing Hush,’ or any thing
that breathes nature in every line.
They want pictures of beer bottles hang
ing on antlers, or any old vest painted
in such a way that the buttons look as
though they were about to fall off.
They will go wild over a neatly painted
grease spot on the lapel, or a buckle
showing the steel through the japan
ning. After awhile, instead of visiting
Milford or the coast of Maine in sum
mer, we shall all be making studies for
future triumphs in old junk shops and
second-hand clothing stores. The
banjo is our national instrument, and
we must paint to suit banjo people."
“But did it not cost you a good deal
of patience?” inquired his friend.
•Nut atm.,“ replied rianagan: **n
only cost me ten dollars for the frame,
stretcher and all. The one dollar bill
was a genuine one, ingeniously stuck
on the background of gray paint. That’s
how I got three hundred and fifty dol
lars for eleven.— Puck.
IN CASE OF FIRE.
How It May Be Confined to a Single Room
for Some Time.
In a lecture before the Society of
Arts, London, Mr. A. W. O. Ghean
gaf-e the following concise and simple
directions how to act ontheoeourrence
of fires. Fire requires air; therefore
on its appearance every effort should
be made to exclude air; shut all doors
and windows. By this means fire may
be confined to a single room for a suffi
cient period to enable all the inmates
to be aroused and esitipe; but if the
doors and windows are thF'-wr. open,
the fanning of the wind and draught
will instantly cause the flames to in
crease with extraordinary rapidity. In
u room a table cloth can be so used as
to smother a large sheet of flame and a
cushion may serve to beat it out; a
coat or any thing similar may be used
with an equally successful result
A wet silk handkerchief tied over
the eyes and nose will make breathing
possible in the midst of much smoke,
and a blanket wetted aud wrapped
around the body will enable a person
to puss through a sheet of llame in
comparative safety. Should a lady’s
dress catch fire, let the wearer at once
lie down. Rolling may extinguish the
fire, but if not any thing (woolen pre
ferred) wrapped tightly round will ef
fect the desired purpose. A burn be
comes less painful the moment air is
excluded from it. For simple burns,
oil or the white of egg can be usod.
One part of carbolic aeid to six parts
of olive oil is found to be invaluable in
most cases, slight or severe, and the
first layer of lint should not be removed
till the cure is complete, but saturated
by the application of fresh outward
layers from time to time. Linen rag,
soaked in a mixture of equal parts of
lime water and linseed oil, also form a
good dressing. Common whiting is
very good, applied wet and continually
dampened withasponge. —Philadelphia
Press.
—A young lady recently returned
from boarding-school, being asked at
table if she would take some more
cabbage, replied: “By no means,
madam; gastronomical safety admon
ishes me that I have arrived at the
ultimate of culinary deglutition con
sistent with the code of Esculupius.”
—One of them was just coming out
of the post-office; the other was going
in.
They stopped, shook hands,
smiled, and the first one observed:
“Quite a swell affair, that of Smith’s.”
“Indeed! What was it?” “A boil.”
And then they separated without shak
ing hands.
—Husband (who has advertised for
a typewriter expert)—“Did many call
to-day, my dear, in answer to the ad
vertisement?-’ Wife—“Yes, quite a
number; but there was only one appli
cant whom I told to call again. He
seems bright, and I’m sure you will
like him.” Husband—“What was the
trouble with the rest?” Wife—“They
were all young women."— N. Y. Sun.
—landlady (delightedly, to new
boarder)—“I must congratulate you,
Mr. Byseps, on your ability as a car
ver. You dismembered that chicken
beautifully.” Mr. Byseps—“Thanks.
I deserve no special credit. I'm a
stonecutter.”— Pittsburgh Bulletin.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
SOME ROYAL DIVORCES.
A French, an English and a German Casa
tn Oar Own Century.
—A fisherman will always be ro ;- 1'
The
case
of the unfortunate Queen
reeling a great deal when the fl’hing i«
good. Perhaps it is the bait.— Boston Natalie does not stand alone in the
history of royal ladies. In our own
Post.
—Husband—“You are not the cook century there have been three royal
my mother use to be. my dear.” Wife divorces, but, perhaps, the lot of none
—“No, John, fortunately. You musn't of them was so painful as that of the
forget that your father died of dyspep young Queen. The^irst sovereign who
was divorced from his wife was Napo
sia."— Texas Siftings.
—If a man knew as much when he is leon I. He abandoned Josephine Beau-
harnais in order to marry the Arch
sober as he thinks he does when drunk.
duchess
Maria Louisa, of Austria. As
Solomon's sayings would be nowhere
there w as no real cause for the divorce
compared with his wisdom.— Spring
it was put forward on behalf of tho
field Union.
Emperor that the marriage was cele
—Some girls go to boarding-school brated by a Republican priest only,
to learn how to board. When graduated and. therefore, it was not valid ac
they marry and do not keep house. A cording to the church of Romo. The
few housekeeping and finishing schools excuse was a very weak one, and, in
would be useful.— N. O. Picayune.
deed, quite absurd, as the Pope, at the
—“Your singing is delightful. Miss conclusion of the concordat, had given
Ethel.” said Mr. Bore. "It fairly car a dispensatio a radice to all marriages
ries me away.” “Indeed,” returned celebrated since 1789; but the Emper
Miss Ethel, with a yearning glance at or’s wish was at the time the supreme
the clock, “I hadn't noticed it.”
law for the Episcopal consistory in
—A Philadelphia paper, in an article Paris, and the divorce was granted on
on household economy, asked: “Is the payment of a certain fine “ accord
there a wife in this city to-day that ing to the means ” of the parties. 'The
makes her husband's shirts?" The most notorious royal divorce case in
following answer was received by re recent English history is, of cdurse,
turn mail: “I do, but he won’t wear that of George IV., of England, who
em.
wanted to get rid of his wife, the poor
—An Independent is a man who Princess Caroline, from whom he had
leaves the other party to join our party. lived separate for many years. A bill
A renegade is a man who leaves our was introduced into Parliament for the
party to join the other. An offensive purpose, and was strenuously opposed
partisan is a man who belongs to the on behalf of the Queen by Henry
other party and sticks to it— Boston Brougham, afterward lx>rd Brougham
Transcript.
and Vattx, Lord Chancellor of Great
—“Yes,” said a lecturer in a country Britain, and Thomas Denman, after
town to a large and intelligent audi ward Lord Denman, Lord Chief
ence, “the people of the United States Justice of England. What these two
owe more to the newspapers than to counsel said against the King would
any other cause for their advance be enough to get 300 counsel in prison
ment.” And the editor remarked pa on tho continent and make judges
renthetically and pathetically: “You faint. The bill was allowed by a
bet they do if subscribers elsewhere small majority to be read a second
are any thing like mine.”— Washington time, but public opinion was so much
against it that the Government thought
Critic.
—Chicago man—"Ah, ah! Lost some it better to withdraw it after the third
more money through a Boston firm! reading. So the King's wish was not
I’m not surprised. Now, you have carried out. and the whole scandal
large dealings In Chicago, and some was in vain. The poor Queen died a
folks say Chicago business men are few weeks after her accession, but the
tricky. Did you ever lose anything King never married again. Crown
through a Chicago firm?” Philadelphia Prince William, of Wurtemberg, the
man—“N-O, 1 never did.” “Hoopla! father of the present King Charles, of
I know it. Never lost a ceut there, did Wurtemberg, was compelled, in 1808,
you?” “No. In dealing with Chicago by Napoleon I. to marry the Princess
men I have invariably demanded cash Caroline Augusta of Bavaria. The
marriage was celebrated on June 8,
in advance."— Philadelphia Record.
—“Why, Mrs. Hashhouse, vou sur but the young couple separated the
prise me; 1 never saw wine on your very same day and never again saw
table before. Is it to tie a regular at- each other. In 1814 they were divorced,
tributeof your dinner service?” “Well, and the Princess two years afterwards
really, Mr. Slowpay, I can hardly married Francis I., Emperor of
promise you that. You see, I have an Austria, and 1825 was crowned Queen
idea that wine, if chosen to fit an emer of Hungary.— Pall Mall Gazette.
gency, may stimulate in a special direc
SUDDEN HOSPITALITY.
tion.” “Ah, yes, I see. Then you think
1 need stimulating? Very thoughtful How Two Tramps Got a Square Meal
Without Asking for It.
of you, indeed. And this wine you have
A couple of tramp3 stopped at a
chosen for me is a—a—Bordeaux?”
“Precisely, board-owe, Mr. Slowpay. farm-house in West Tennessee during
the yellow fever season. “You can
Do you absorb?”— Yonkers Gazette.
come in and drink all the water you
want,” said the farmer, “but you
STRANGE DISCOVERIES.
neenter ask for any thing to cat, for
The Tomb of Madoe ap GryflTyddmaelor, a
you won’t get it”
Great Welsh Warrior.
The tramps looked at a table that
Great interest has been excited in
had
just been set for dinner, and
North Wales by the announcement that
sighed.
the tomb of Madoc ap Gryffyddmaelor,
“You neenter sigh,” said the farmer,
a great Welsh warrior in <he eleventh
“
fur
you don't git a bite of that grub.
and twelfth contarles, grandson of
Owen Gwynedd, Prince of Wales, had W’y, we’ve got ’possum, don’t you
been discovered in the ruins of Walle see; sweet potatoes, b'iled ham, curly-
mustard greens and three kinds of
Crucis abbey, Llangollen. Rev. II. T. bread.
I wouldn’t twit you fellers,
Owen, warden of the abbey, whois now
but
the
last tramp that come along
engaged upon some excavations, was
searching for old stained glass in tho here stole the only goou set of harness
dormitory, when he disinterred a large on the place.”
•‘Don’t put yourself to any uneasi
stone slab bearing the name of Madoc
ness
on our account,” replied one of
and an inscription which has not yet
been fully deciphered. Down the cen the tramps, “for we ain’t hungry.”
“Not hungry!” the farmer ex
ter of the stone is an incised sword in
sheath. Further excavations led to the claimed.
“No; all we want is a place to sit
discovery of four other stones, each
about five feet by eighteen inches; two down in the shade.”
“Wall, this is the first time I ever
boar florated crosses, one an inscribed
heerd
of tramps not being hungry.”
spear, and the other a Grecian orna
“It’s sorter rare with us, I can tell
ment. The stones form part of the
vaulting of the corridor leading to the you. I'm sorter feverish, myself.
old burial-ground of the monks. The Don’t exactly understand it, for 1
warrior founded the abbey, which was never was this way before. Oh, I have
a Cistercian monastery, about the year had slight bilious attacks, but I never
1200. After the venerable building be had such pains in the back of my neck
came a ruin, the chapter-house and before. Just before leaving Jackson
scriptorium were used for several gen ville—”
A sudden scuffling in the room
erations as a farmstead, and were prac
caused
the tramp to break off his nar
tically destroyed by lire. During the
repairs it is conjectured that the stones ration. The skirts of the farmer’s
of Madoc’s tomb were used to complete wife flapped against tho gate, and an
the vaulting. In 1861 the debris cover d man lost his hat as he leaped into
ing the area of the abbey was removed the road. The two tramps moved their
by Lord Dungannon, and the tombs of chairs up to the table.
“The hospitality of this neighbor
benefactors buried in front of the high
hood,
” one of them remarked, “has
altar, the figure of a knight in chain
armor, and a stone coffin, were laid found a place in romance and verse.”
“Yes,” the other one replied, “and
bare. During the excavations of last
year the monk's well and spring were the peculiar charm about it is its ex
treme suddenness.”— Arkansaw Trav
discovered.— N. Y. Tribune.
eler.
He Was a Clam, Sure Enough.
“Laura.” exclaimed the youth, as he
laid his arm timidly on the hack" of her
chair, “now that you have promised to
be mine it surely does not seem like
asking too much if I----- ”
“Well. George?”
George took her hand in his, swal
lowed once or twice spasmodically, and
proceeded:
“As your affianced husband, Laura,
whom you will some day promise in the
sight of high Heaven to love, honor,
and—er—cherish, you will not think
me presuming, dearest, I hope, if—
if----- ”
“Well, George?”
“----- If I venture to claim the privi
lege of a k—of a kiss!"
The lovely maiden laid her head
trustingly on the young man's shoulder,
a tender light shone in her dreamy
eyes, and her fragrant breath swept
the oheek of tho rapturous lover as she
softly murmured:
“George, don't be a clam!"— Chicago
Tribune.
The edition for 1889 of the sterling Medical
Annual, known as Hostetter’s Almanac, is now
ready, and may be obtained, free of cost, of
druggists and general country dealers iu all
fiarts of the United States, Mexico, and Indeed
n every civilised portion of the Western Hemi
sphere. The Almanac has been issued regularly
at the commencement of every vear for over
one-fonrth of a century. It combines, with the
soundest practical advice for the preservation
and restoration of health, a large amount of in
teresting and amusing light rending, and the
calendar, astronomical calculations, chronolog
ical items, etc., are prepated with great care,
and will be found entirely accurate.
The issue
of Hostetter's Almanac for 1889 will probably be
the largest edition of a medical wort epet pub
lished in any country. The proprietors, Messrs.
Hostetter A Co., Pittsburgh, Pa., on receipt of a
two cent stamp, will forward a copy by mail to
any person who cannot procure one in his
neighbornood.
Camphene and Band will remove paint spot«
from glass.
White Elephant of Siam, Lion of Eng
land, Dragon of China, Cross of Switzer,
land. Banner of Persia, Crescent of Egypt-
Double Eagle of Russia, Star of Chili, Tne
Circle of Japan, Harp of Erin.
To get these buy a box of the genuine
D r . C. M c L ane ’ s C elebrated L iver
P ills , price 2d cents, and mail us the out
side wrapper wi’.h your address, plainly
written, aud 4 cents in stamps. We will
then mail you the above list with an ele
gant package of oleographic and chro
matic cards.
F leming B ros ., P ittsburg , P a .
A crust of stale bread will remove spot« from
wall paper.
___
ITue the great specific for “cold in bead” and
catarrh—Dr. Sage’s Catarrh Remedy.
The Bohemian element is rapidly multiplying
in New York city.
A Cough. Culai
The electric light station at Bath, Me., is
burning sawdust in the furnaces thero with
satisfactory results.
HOW NATIONS SALUTE.
Flour of sulphur has proved to be an effi
cient preventive against the ravugt: ;f car
Egyptians greet one another with the re pet bugs or buffalo moths.
mark: “How goes the perspiration!”
Sweet oil and putty powder, followed by
The Moor salutes by riding up at full gal soap and water, are efficient means for
lop and firing a pistol over your head.
brightening brass and copper.
In Germany to pass a stranger on the road
The progress of saccharine is becoming a
without greeting him is considered very ini- matter of attention for the French govern
polite.
ment. A good quality of mgar is made in
Tho Malays and other Polynesians salute France out of turnips.
by smelling. This is performed by rubbing
Pyrodene is a new liquid which renders wood
nose*.
textile fabrics, paper and other taflommable
In France every man, no matter what his materials fireproof. As a paint for wood it
station, if he be a coal beaver, lifts his hat to is a special success, as it does not blister in
the sun.
another.
Take a small quantity of a 2 per cent, car
The Chinese have a regular code of saluta
tions. eight in number, according to the in bolic acid soiutian and sprinkle sheets, cover
let, pillow and bolster, on both sides, the
dividual
The Japanese show respect by bending the edges of bed curtains and the wall next
knee, though in the street they only make a the bed. The face and neck may also be
slightly wetted with the solution. Not a
feint of so doing.
single gnat or musquito will come near.
In Ind a the Buddhists salute by lowering
In France very practical use of photog
tho palm of the right hand and bringing it
up toward the face, at the same time saying, raphy has recently been made. Several per
sons were 1 mprisoned by the caving in of a
“Ram, ram chair.”
welL A hole was bored, and down this a
A former resident of New Zealand says tube with a camera was slid. The photo
that on meeting after a long absence two graph showed the faces of some of the de
Maories seize hands and rub] noses violently, ceased, and demonstrated the uselessness of
at the same time loudly weeping, presumably efforts at rescue.
JILUMBAe¿í)TooTHACH^?
WEAK, NERVOUS PEOPLE.
H^ qach ^S c IATICÄ
•R. HORNrfl RLMTRO-NAG-
NKTIC BKLT priKitively cure«
•Mil ■ ATISN^NECRALGlA,LIT
ER, KIPSET and exhausting
chronic diseases of both sexes.
Contains 23 to loo degree« of
Electricity. «VARASIRKD th«
roved, cheapest, Hcientiflc.powerfui.dti-
effective NKD1CAL KLKTR1C BELT in th«
eetric Suspensories free with Male Belta
Avoid bogus companies with msnv aliases and worth
leas imitations BUKTBIC TBV88BB FDB BVnVBB.
9.000 cured Send stamp for illustrated pamphlet.
iists . ano D ealers .E verywhere «
D ru
WE í
'AS’A’V o GELER E o -B auto -M d «
Diamond Vera-Cura
TOR DYSPEPSIA.
CHANCES.
. .
■■■ ■■ ■ -■ ! ■
iwi) - I >ebt 13 11 X S ooqb
of the iaifiett uuu ta<«t reliable'Lease, anc .X, usa
Ferry’s Seeds
O
TM CHARLES A VOGELER CO.. Rsttlmere. ■<.
ASTHMAfiURED
I
German AiUhma Cure ne ver/ut b to fri ve tin.
thby
o g
him u
mrdiafr relief in the worst casjeH.insures comfort
able sleep; effects cures where all othen faiL, JI
trial convinc«i'tht mott tkeptical. Price 5Oc* and
NlaOQwOfrPnigyiBteor by mail Sample
forKtamc^nCi^CHIFFMAisfty*»!
ft I ■ »1 ft ft iu Premiums. 25,000 in use,
PI ANI IX 20 yea™ Ertablishod. Ne«
I |ft 11 WVS patented Steel Tuning De
TONIC BITTERS
!
MONTGOMERY WARD A CO.
111-114 Michigan Avenue, Chicago, m.
vice, in use in no other Piano, by which our Pianos
stand in tune 20 years, good tor 100 ; not affected
by climate. No wood to split, break, swell, shrink,
crack, decay, or wear out; we guarantee it. Ele
gant Rosewood Cases, 8 strings, double repeating
action; Unset ivory keys; the Famous ANTISELL.
Call er write lor Catalogue, free. T. M. ANTISELL
PIANO CO., Manufacturers, Odd Fellows* Hall, Mar.
ket and Seventh streets, San F rancisco.
! Aptmlwr 1,»,». Th. Or« Bltur. MHaiaikitim cwiil^
^DWIGHT*
THE COW BRAND.
GLADDiNG.McBEAN&CO.
— TO MAKE —
nifäwER & CHIMNEY PIPE, '
j 1 «
DRAINTILE,
¡
Pl S 0CUjU'4-O-fi CCNSUMPTIDN
tjr Ovsa (i.OOOaOOO
<**»»*• umt»,
D. M. PERKY A C-O are
Tha BUTXB8* GUIDE ig
pcknw.ieeged to be th a
iaauad March and Sept.,
Largest Seedsr.ien
each year. It la an enoy.
In the world.
dopedia of useful infor
D M. F
A C
mation for all who por-
DIuEtrated Descrip
chaao the luxuries or the
tive and Priced
necessities of life. We
SEED ANNUAL
can olothe you and furnish you with
For I3t>0
all the necessary and unnecessary
rWin be mail«! TllEf
appliances to ride, walk, dance, sleep,
t<> all applicant*, and
; tolart jwrtscuid.anen,
eat, fish, hunt, work, go to church,
oiderirgrt. /
/ .
or stay at home, and in various sixes,
styles and quantities. Just figure out
la UIIUIW
I kbould «,„<]
ix Addieae
wliat is required to do all thaM*
these’ things
thi
wliati*
D. M. FERRY < CO., D at roll, Mich.
COMFORTABLY, and you can make a fair
estimate of the value of the BUYEB8’
GUIDE, which will be sent upon
ALLEN’S IRON
receipt of 10 cents to pay postage,
di Drugrpsls and Bea’ers or sent by mail on r»
enpl </2& cU (& boxes St .00) in stamps. bampU
sent on receipt qfi^eni Stamp.
DELICIOUS BISCUITS
or
WHOLESOME BREAD
USE
glARCHlTEOTURALTERRA COTTA Ed
D wights C ow -B rand S oda °"S aleratus .
O1358-1360 MARKET ST. S.E/
^ MANUFACTORY AT LINCOLN CAL.
ABSOLUTELY PURE.
THE VAN MONCI8CAR
ALWAYS UNIFORM
PRIVATE DI8PENSARY,
ANO FULL WEIGHT.
Noe. 133 and 134 Third Street,
«• ft*1* that th.r. la a picture of a O»w on your package and you will h»v.
Portland, Oregon.
th. best Sods made.
THE COW BBAND.
I» the only Private Dis
pensary in Portland or on
t’.c
Northwest Coast«
where patients Are »nocess,
fully treated o.allNERV-
R, CHRONIC AND
rVATE D18EA8E8 In
ng sr old, slug!« or
rrieo, «ucn en
Bolivia declared its independence ÌU1824.
\PWI6H.T’
LOST MANHOOD,
“ Nervous debility, seminal
, lofitea, fat ling memory,
A syphilitic eruption*, effects
J«', cf mtroury kidney end
¿¿Ì P&Her troubles, goncr-
jrha-i, gleet «¿picture, etc.
WONDERFUL POPULARITY.
CONSUMPTION CURED.
NO
SI
* ACK.
KA’1 icm
, rBA«**
~ 1 EINWAY
A !'«
Gabler.
Boeniah
Ptanos; Bnnlrtt Orrens. band instruments. Laifret
«took of Shwt Music and Kooks. Bands «upnlfed al
MATTHIAS GRAY OO. Hs If»
K. J. liuhuuN. W7 Market Nt. N. F,
Mole Erap. Fariflr Caaat Hranrh.
an au. stomaci txocbles suci *■:
tadlresUcB, S-u-Stemrek. Irertbsra. Bresre. <U-
ClaM*. Coudpanra. Fills«* .Her »U m . V“°4
Ililss is th. Moslk ud dlugreesM. tssls sfoe **«*
tag. lerresreess sad Low-3pirits.
or More Throat
Glycerine does not agree with a very dry akin.
TAKE
BEST.
Cures Cut*, Sore«, Salt Rheum, Boils,
Pimples. Felons, Skin Diseases, and all
ailments for which a salve is suitable. For
taking out soreness and healing it acta
like magic. 2S cents a tx>x. at all druggiate.
should not be neglected. “Brown's Bronchial
Trochei' are a simple remedy, and glv. Immed
iate relief. Sold only in boxes.
The fact that the sale of Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant
Purgative Pellets exceeds that of auy other pill
in the market, be it great or small, is on account
of the fact that thev are tiny, little, sugar-coated
granules, aiidphat In most cases one little “Pel
let” is sufficient for u dose; that they are purely
vegetable and perfectly harmless; aud for con
stipation, biliousness, sick headache, and all
diseases arising from derangement of the liver,
Btomach or bowels, they are absolutely a specific.
A gentle laxative or active cathartic, according
to the size of dose.
THE
MEXICAN
SALVE
THE CREAT HEALER.
A VALUABLE. MEDICAL TREATISE.
COXSI’LT a TIOV
fritb .
DR. PIERCE S NEW BELT
ANO SUSPENSORY.
(Pat. Oct. 11. *«7) cure« all
Nervous ana Chronic Dis
eases of both sexes. Price
$6 und upward. Send 2c
for sealed pamphlet No. 2.
Kt PIT RE. If ruptured
send stamp for Pamphlet No. 1.
PILES. New Invention. Send2c
V stamp
for Pamphlet No.
ivrraiupuitTV
no. o.
3. A
a *
dd
iuicq
ress;
»¡
-»nr*
M. E. T. €».,704 Sacramento St., Sau Francisco, Cal.
An old physician, retired from practice, hav
ing bud placed in his hauds by an East India
missionary the formula of a simple vegetable
r//>'--- y
Rather than the Cheapes'
remedy for the speedy aud permanent cure of
ZSIu
Consumption, Bronchitis, Catarrh, Asthma,
aud all Throat aud Lung Attri tions, also a posi
tive and radical cure for Nervous Debility aud
all Nervous Complaints, after having tested its Perfect equipment, thorough instruction, esl;d'i.
wonderful curative powers iu thousands of
cases, has felt it his duty to make it known to Ilshed reputation, growing ixjpuiaritjr. Business,
his suffering fellows. Actuated by this motive Shorthand, Common School and Pen.nxnshlp Denart-
aud a desire to relieve human suffering, I will jnents. Students admitted at anv ’line. Cata
and specimens of ireuinanshlp sent free.
send free of charge, to all who desire it, this re logue
J. A. WEN< <1.Hae’x. A. i*. AKMSTKONH. Uris.
cipe, ill German, French or English, with full
directions for preparing and using.
Sent by
mail by addressing with Btamp, naming this
paper, W. A. N oyes , 1U> Pourer s Block, Roches
ter, N. Y.
Resurrected
> J-.»hii Bea.rdsl.-y,
Rcntou Coal Yards,
well-known citizen,
nounced incurable.
grave from
foreman of the
Ban Francisco, a
says: I was pro
Both feet in the
Dyspepsia, Heart Disease
and Dropsy
Three bottles of MOORE’S RE
VEALED REMEDY restored me to
health and put life and vigor into my
debilitated system.
I urely Vegetable: Contains noiAlcohol:
Regulates the Bowels; Aids inges
tion; Stimulates the Liver;
Prevents Disease.
WELL DRILLS
FOR EVERY PURPOSE.
Bancroft, the California historian, has a library
worth >200,000.
Sold on Trial I
A MADMAN AT LARGE!
He is a well-known citizen, and his nearest
and dearest friends do not suspect his insanity.
How do we happen to know about it? Listen;
his appetlt«“ is gone, he is low-«plr:ted, he don’t
sleep well, he has night-sweats, he is annoyed
by a hacking eougb. These symptoms are the
forerunners or consumption and death, and yet
he neglects them. Is it any wonder that we call
him a madman? If you are his friend tell him
to get a bottle of Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medical
Discovery without delay. It will cure him if he
takes it in time. It will not miracuously create
new Inngs when the old ones arc nearly gone,
but it will restore diseased ones to a healthy
condition. Tell htm about it, and warn him
that in his case delay means death.
Investment small, profits
large, fiend 20c for mailing
large illustrated Catalogue
with full particulars. Man
ufactured by
GOULDS & AUSTIN,
11.7 A 1*0 Lak«
1
CHICAGO. ILL.
TJAWKEYE
x
A ray of light travels 11,160,000 miles in a
minute.
GRUB a STUMP
MACHISE.
T ry G crmka for breakfast.
ppPRlCE^
CREAM (I r .SPINNEY s
four teaspoon full of tho
best Baking Powilsr.saT-
lng twenty tiDM It*
coet,
beaidM
being
much healthier, becauM
It doee not con tain any
Injurious
eubetanoe.,
■uchu alum, terra alb*
etc., of which many w-w-
ing Powders ara made.
Dairymen and Farmer*
ehouldueoouly the** Ann
k Hammer“ brand for
cleaning and kaeplnz
Milk P*M flvwi *U
Clean.
rirnoi.
Bea that
every pound package of
’■Arm and Hammer
Brand" contain« full
18 ounoee net, and th*
«pound package*JWi
mm«* net, Boda or
impor
tant that the Soda or
Baleretuayon use should
fee White and Pure same
*e all similar substanoee
■red for food. Toinsure
obtaining only the “Ann
A Hammer” brand Soda
or Saleratua, buy it In
“pound or half pound”
cartoons.which bearour
name and trade-mark, aa
Inferior good* are seme
time* substituted fJeth*
“Arm & Hammer” brand
when bought in bulk.
Parties using Baking
Powder should remem
ber that lie sole rising
property consista ofbt
carbonate of soda. Ono
teaspoon ful of the “Arm
A Hammer” brand of
Boda or Saleratua mixed
with sour milk equals
Packed in Card Board Boxes. Always keeps Soft.
z
Dr. Spinney &
General Agent for the
NERVOUS
aency, ¿10., due to excesses or abuse, cured.
YOUNC
MeNSWiiffiSMS
cretion should avail themselves of our treatment.
A positive cure guaranteed in every case. Syphilis.
Urinary and Venereal DiRenseg ail unnatural dis
charges. promptly and safeiytured.
MIDDLE-AGED MEN^OT.
Something Good in Store.
A big man rushed at a little man at
the ferry dock the other day and ex
claimed:
“Ha! Now I’ve got you. I’m going
to knock the top of your head off.”
“Come on and try it,” replied the
iittle man as he got into position.
“You slandered me,” shouted the
big man as he backed off a little.
“What of it?”
“You’ve got to take it back or get
licked! I'll give you—I’ll give you one
week to take it back, and if you don’t
io it I’ll----- ”
“What!” cried the little man as he
advanced upon him.
“I’ll perhaps extend the time, but
you’ve got to take it back.”
“Hold on — wait!” shouted the little
man as ha got his eoat off, but the big
man v. uved his liar.d and ran aboard
the boat to call back:
“lwo weeks and r.ot another day!
I lien prepare to get mauled!”—
Detroit Free Press.
BUT
A man living near Santa Cruz hag
been catching quail in a peculiar way.
For three weeks he has been spread
ing grain in the road near his place,
where the quail abound. On the day
the law was out he put wheat in the
place as usual, but bad previously
st aked the wheal in whisky. Watch
ing the place, he saw the qaail come
out, eat, get drunk, and in a shori
time lie down stupified.
He then
went to them and gathered about one
hundred in a sack that he carried with
him. A few that were not fully drunk
were caught by his dog. He has
practiced the same method since suc
cessfully.
U b »uperior excellence proven in million» of home»for
mofe than a quarter of a century. It 1» used by the
United State» Government. Endorsed by the head» of
the Great Univerah ice a® the Strongest, Purest and most
Healthful. Dr Price b Oreana Baking Powder does not
contain Amtnucia, Limo or "Alum. Sold only in cans.
PRICE BAKING POWDER CO.
5BW TOllIL
CHICAGO.
m
Weak B»ck. Nervous
Debility, W aeiing of Bexn-f Btrength, etc., cured
•nd restored
--------
' — t to
healthy vigor.
N. B. Persona - unal
“=sble to visit ns may bo treated,
at tnelr home», by r coi
correspondence. Medicines an»^
instructions sent byiumavi
» zvb »> wuouiumui
by mail or vai
express.
Cousultatloi
tS in stamp»
St&mDS Xvr
for The
Th«» Young
Vnnna Man'
Man’s!
±roe. Bend 4 cent«
friend or uulde to Wadlock.
ST. LOUIS.
IN 1HE WORLD.
I especially request tho-e contemplating purenasing cither an Engine or Thresher
next Beason to look up the record of the ADVANCE. It i
he only machine ever
sold on the Pacific Coast that his given ent ire,sat is fact ion.
I also deal in Laundry Machinery, Marine Engines. All kinds of
Brass Goods, Inspirators, Injectors, Oilers, Reapers, Mowers.
Chemical Fire Extinguishers, and Engines, Oils,
Belting, Rose, Wrenches, Etc.
PRICE
50 CENTS.
THE ONLY DEALER ON
— fob —
That ships
PACIFIC COAST
Asthma, Coughs, Colds, Croup, In
fluenza, Bronchitis, Catarrh, 'W^jgp-
Infl-Cough, Loss of Voice, Incipient
Consumption, and all Throat aud
Lung Troubles.
CAR LOADS.
J. R. CATES & CO., PROP’S.
417 Sansome Street, San Francisco, <ai.
SCOTTS
EMULSION
OF PURE COD LIVER OIL
HYPOPHOSPHITES.
Almost as Palatable as Milk«
ano
So ddMUtoMi that the most del leate stomach
can take it. Remarkable a. a FLESH
PBODl'CER. Persons GAIN rap
idly «chile taking IT.
SCOTTS EMULSION is acknowledged by Phy-
to be the FINEST and BEST preparetton
ol its class for the relief at
CONSUMPTION, SCROFULA,
GENERAL DEBILITY,
Wasting Diseases of Children,
and CHRONIC COUGHS.
Sold by aU Druggists.
ffeALIPORlCLA ORANGE, RAISIN aad FRUIT LAND.
I. 9000 acres in any sire tracts Just the place for a
U Colony. Special inducement to settlers. Easy
terms. SIGNOR, FERRT a BELOVER, Ban Diego, Cal.
N. P ». U. Na 262-8. T. N. Ü. No S3S
PRICES GREATLY REDUCED
All sizes in *Uxk from
]x>un<l> to 1,2*0.
40
a Send for REDUCED PRICES.
Remember it U a pleasure to show
goods or answer quebtlom
If you
cannot call. write.
TSEyoirmls ( ówahiih Í, SPECIAL OFFER
*
A $2.50
PAPER FOR
ONLY $1.75
TO NEW SUBSCRIBER?
To any New Subscriber who will tend us this Slip, with
name and P. O. address and $1.75 in Money Order, Express
Money Order, Registered Letter, or Check, for a year's sub
scription to the Companion, we will sand the paper
Illustrated
FREE TO JAN. 1,1889,
WEEKLY
FOUR HOLIDAY NUMBERS,
Supplements
8ent to Eaoh Subscriber at Thanksgivlng-Christmas-New Year’s-Eaator.
The volume for 18X9 will be superior to any previous year. It will contain Six Serial Stories ISO Short fort»
Household Articles, Tales of Adventure, Illustrated Sketches of Travel, 1,000 Anecdotes, Historic*Ia?>'d Sclentltk Article.
ar- Specimen Copies and Colored Announaement free.
Blaue mention ihit publication.
AMn ,s
T he YOUTH’S COMPANION, 36 Temple Race, Boston, Mass.