IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY
The Last
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N o n eed h a v in g p ile s an y lo n g e r!
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YOU NOT ONE C EN T-
T his rem edy Is a co m b in atio n of
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c u ra tiv e p rin cip le s, an d I T S TO PS
T H E PILE PAIN IN O N E M I N U T E I
So su re a r e w e t h a t S te a m s ’ P ile
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w ill R E F U N D Y O U R M O NEY If
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W o h ave t h e ex clu siv e agency.
R . S . K N O W 1 -T O M
THE HERALD
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H ig h e s t in S t r e n g th
B u t N o t in P r i c e
You Use Less
I V
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It Lasts Longer
B . T . B A B B IT T
By HEREWARD M'LEAN
Noah Dibley aro se from th e ta b le am i
leaned forw ard, his b an d s o u tsp read on
the m l cloth a n d w ith honest ludig
nation blazing in his blue eyes.
’’M arti«." he sa id to Ills w ife, “do you
moan t<> t i l me th a t y o u r C ousin Ben
Us com ing to m o rro w ?”
"Vos. Noah.” replied M artle, her lips
■tiling into a n o b stin a te line. “ I >jrot
post-am i from her th is m orning any-
g th at us sh e w as v isitin g in T itu s
* sin* th o u g h t sh e would ru n over
a few d ay s.”
low m any tim es h a s sh e done th a t
i ¡he p ast y e a r? ” dem anded Noah
•; I- ely. "1 can tell you, M artle, sh e 's
run over to L ittle R iver forty -tw o
lim es to sta y n few days, an d th e hull
tiling figures
to fo u r m onths. You
know , I c a n ’t ab id e B eulah F itch.
She’s got a tongue th a t ’s hung In th e
m iddle an d w ag s a t both ends a n d ” —
"H ow dy do. cousins!” called a shrill
voice from th e porch, an d B eulah F itch
opened th e sc ree n door a n d popped in to
th e k itch en ns cheerily ns though she
had not been o u tsid e listen in g to th e
h eated c o n tro v ersy over h e r fo rth c o m
ing visit.
“ W hy. B eu lah !” exclaim ed M artle.
w ith a p lead in g look a t h e r husband
over B e u la h ’s b ro ad shoulder. “ I d id n ’t
ex p ect you so soon. I only g o t your
card th is m o rn in g .”
“ I had a ch an ce to rid e o v er w ith
th e oil m an. H e’s d riv in g an au ty m o
bile ta n k now , an d I d eclare if I d id n ’t
feel Ju s t ns se t up ns any o f th em to u r
ing c a rs t h a t passed us! M ost o f th e
difference Is in th e sm ell o f th e oil an d
gasoline, b u t I do n ’t inind th em th in g s
w hen I ’m o u t fo r a good tim e—t h a t ’s
w h a t I told Jo e w hen he trie d to d is
co u rag e m e from com ing w ith h im .”
From o v erh ead cam e th e sound of
heavy tra m p in g to and fro.
“ M artle, w h a t’s Noah up to ? ” B eulah
asked in q u isitiv ely .
“I ’ll go a n d see. B eulah,” sa id M ar
tie anxiously. “J u s t lay a sid e your
th in g s an d help y o u rself to a cu p of
tea. I’ll he rig h t dow n ag a in .”
M artle h u rrie d u p sta irs to N oah’s
room , w h ere lie w as p ack in g a v alise
w ith his clothing.
“Noah, w h a t a r e you going to d o ?”
asked M a rtle in a frig h te n e d tone.
“Oh. n o th in g m uch,” said Noali a iri
ly. “J u s t g oing up to G rayson to v is
it m y b ro th er. C aleb will do w h a te v e r
chores you n eed a b o u t th e place.”
“B u t, N oah—you d id n ’t sp e ak o f it—
i t ’s su d d e n ,” w ailed M artle in a re
pressed to n e th a t B eulah m ig h t not
hear.
“ I told you som e tim e ago th a t If she
cam e ngain it w ould be th e la s t s tra w
th a t b reak s m y p a tie n c e ,” sa id Noah,
lieek.
"M en a r e cruel r ro o te r s —th e Its f ro n t s h u tte r s tig h tly closed, an d
b est o f ’em are. T h a t’s th e reaso n I ’ve B eu lah o p en ed th e fro n t door a n d w eu t
sta y ed single.
I ’ve said th a t nev er th ro u g h th e house to th e k itch eu . On
would 1 w a n t to lose my m aid en Illu th e th re sh o ld sh e stopped a g h a s t.
sions concerning love.”
A h o t coal fire w as b u rn in g in th e
•to v e an d on it a pot of coffee ste am ed
A t G ray so n Noah found h is b ro th e r fra g ra n tly . Kggs a n d bacon w ere f r y
Ja so n busily enguged In g a th e rin g ing iu Hie p an am i Noah D ibley w as in
p u m p k in s from th e Held. Ja so n woe th e a c t of rem oving a p an of corn-
looking decidedly o ut of te m p e r w h en b re a d fro m th e oven. J a so n D ibley
he spied N oah com ing.
w a s s e ttiu g th e tab le w ith clum sy a t
' “ Hello, b ro th e r.” said J a so n g lad ly ; te m p ts a t n eatn ess.
T h e tw o m en looked u p an d sp ied
“ I'm glad to see you, b u t I’m a fra id
. you’ve com e to a poor place. N in a’s th e m istre ss of th e house.
T h e p a n o f hot b iscu its fell to th e
gone o v er to L ittle R iver; seem s B eu
lah F itch s e n t w ord sh e w a s g o in g to floor a n d J a s o n 's b au d se n t k n iv es a u d
sta y a t y o u r house fo r a fe w d a y s a n d fo rk s c la tte rin g u n d er th e tab le. In
w a n te d N ina to com e o v er a n d spend u n in s ta n t th e tw o m en h ad reco v ered
th e day. S h e’s gone, an d I k now w h en th em se lv e s an d w ere sh illin g a w el
sh e com es back th a t sh e ’ll tell me th a t com e to B eulah F itch.
“ W elcom e hom e, B eu lah ,” cried J a
B eulah ’ll he com ing here fo r a n o th e r
son h e artily . “ I d e c la re if you h a v e n ’t
one of h er c o n tra p te d visits.
“G osh h an g It. Noah! T h a t w o m an com e In th e nick of tim e! I ’ll se t a n
sp en d s th re e m ouths o u t of th e y e a r o th e r p la te fo r you.” H e m oved to-
a t my house. W hy do n ’t sh e e v er w a rd tlie p a n try .
B eu lah F itc h g asp ed once or tw ice
sta y a t hom e?”
“ You’ve g o t m e,” said Noah sadly. an d th en fo u n d speech.
“ W h a t does th is m ean? W h a t a re
“ I ligure th a t sh e sp en d s fo u r m o n th s
o ut of ev ery y e a r a t m y ho u se, a n d 1 you d oing h ere iu my h o u se?” sh e de-
know sh e v isits a lot a t J im D u n n el’s
a n d th e P eterh y s. W h a t I w a n t to
know is w hy she should a lw a y s b e s it
tin g a ro u n d o u r houses in s te a d o f liv
ing in th a t co m fo rta b le ho u se o f h e rs? ”
Ja so n h a d been th in k in g w h ile his
b ro th e r tulked. A slow sm ile broke
over his bronzed face.
“ H elp m e get th e r e s t o f th ese
pum pkins Into th e c e lla r a n d I ’ll tell
you a cure. I n e v e r th o u g h t o f It be
fore,” he said e n th u sia stic a lly .
T h e b ro th e rs w o rk ed fo r sev eral
hours, and Ju st a t d u sk th e la s t load
of golden pum p k in s w e n t th ro u g h th e
y ard an d h alted a t th e c e lla r door.
“ You p u t them in sid e w h ile I g et
su p p e r,“ said Jaso n .
I t w a s w hile th e y w ere s ittin g o v er
a m eal o f b aked b ea n s a n d b ak ed a p
ples an d m ilk t h a t Ja so n D ibley u n
folded his plan.
T h e re su lt of th e co n fe re n c e w as
th a t w hen N ina D ibley a rriv e d hom e
th a t n ig h t on th e e v e n in g tr a in sh e
found a note pinned to th e clock iu th e
kitchen.
D ea r W ife—I to ld y o u la s t su m m e r tn at
If B eu la h F itch ev e r s e ttle d d o w n h ere
fo r a n o th er on e o f h er v is it s I ’d g o a w a y .
If It’s her hom e, w h y . It a in ’t m in e! You
told m e th is m o rn in g t h a t s h e w a s co m in g
in a d a y or tw o , an d t h is a ftern o o n J o e
M arks, th e oil m an. sa id B e u la h told him
th a t sh e w a s co m in g to s t a y till C h r ist
m as. I k now sh o ’ll co m e If s h e s a y s so.
I t’s the la s t stra w , N in a .
I ’m g o in g
a w a y for a spell, a n d I ’ll w r ite yo u . You
ca n g e t B en n y B ro w n to h elp you w ith
th e ch ores. Your a ffe c tio n a te h u sb a n d ,
J A S O N D IB L E Y .
And Nina, w ho w a s sm a ll a n d black
eyed and h ad a m ind o f h e r o w n som e
tim es, s a t dow n a n d w ro te a le tte r to
B eulah Fitch.
•
*
*
•
*
*
*
B eulah F itc h ’s c o m fo rta b le old f a s h
ioned house w as s e t on a h illsid e In a
grove o f c h e s tn u t tre e s. On th is p a r
tic u la r N ovem ber d a y , a w eek a f te r
N oah’s d e p a rtu re from hom e, Miss
F ltcli cam e p a n tin g up th e road from
th e c o rn er w here th e s ta g e had left
her.
Ilig h m ea d o w w as a b o u t ten
m iles from L ittle R iver a n d a n equal
d ista n c e from G rayson, th e hom e of
Ja so n D ibley, an d it w a s a v ery pleas
a n t place in w hich to live. B eulah
h ad lived h ere all h e r life—w h en she
w a s n ’t v isitin g am ong h e r relativ es.
S he w a s ra re ly a t hom e to offer hos
p ita lity In re tu rn , so th e big house on
th e hill w as closed m ost of th e tim e,
e x c e p t w h e n B eulah re n te d it fo r th e
su m m e r season to city people.
N ow sh e ap p ro ach ed it w ith a d is
satisfied face. T h e w ind w as blow ing
b leak ly th ro u g h th e leafless tre e s, and
th e ru d d y s u n s e t prophesied colder
w eath er. She th o u g h t of th e well fill
ed coal blus an d th e g re a t pile of fire
wood. H o w th e sto v es w ould e a t up
th e coal an d wood!
B eulah F itc h looked g en ero u s and
h ospitable. She w as b u ilt on a larg e
plan, p h y sically , b u t really sh e w as
av aricio u s to a degree, an d a s th e
y e a rs w ore on th e fa u lt a te d eep er
Into h e r c h a ra c te r, w h ile h e r h an k ac
c o u n t increased.
“I ’ll h a v e to m ake a fire,” g ro an ed
B eulah, for sh e loved co m fo rt like a
cat, an d sh e knew th a t sh e m u st h av e
a fire in th e s ittin g room b ase b u rn er.
“ And I’ll h a v e to g et som e m ilk and
eggs from P e te rso n in th e m orning.
I’m glad I stopped a t th e sto re and
o rd ered supplies. I ’m m ost sta rv e d .”
As B eu lah p au sed to rest before
ascen d in g th e p ath th a t led aro u n d to
th e h ack of th e house, a little boy
tip to ed o u t from th e boxw ood b o rd ers
of th e f ro n t y ard an d ad d ressed her
in a sta g e w hisper.
“ Hello. M iss F itch !
Say, do you
“ NOAII, WHAT A HR YOU OOINO TO D o t"
know th e re ’s b u rg la rs in y o u r house?”
ASKED MARTIE
“ B u rg la rs? M ercy m e! W h en —now ?”
w ith o u t tu rn in g h is head. “ H e re sh s e ja c u la te d B eulah, th in k in g of th e sli
com es, reg ard le ss o f m y w ishes. If ver spoons in th e p arlo r cup b o ard and
you p refe r B eulah to me—all r i g h t ”
th e th o u sa n d and one tre a su re s sh e
"N oah, you know poor B e u la h “ — be had a lw a y s th o u g h t s a fe from m a
gan M artle eag erly , h u t Noah w aved ra u d e rs w hen sh e tu rn e d th e key In
aside her ex p lan atio n .
her fro n t door.
“ H u rry up. Billy
"P o o r B eu lah ,” he lau g h ed derisively. S m ith, an d tell m e a b o u t It!”
"M artle, s h e ’s w o rth five tim e s as
Billy S m ith w h im p ered an d backed
m uch a s w e are. W hy? B ecause she Into tlie bushes.
g e ts m ost o f h e r living o ut of h e r rein
“ You n eed n ’t g e t m ad o v er It!” he
tlons. V isiting, v isitin g n round! S he’s said Im pudently. “ I seen ’em h ere a
g ot a good hom e; w hy d o n ’t sh e stay few d a y s ago—th e y ’re k eep in g house
iu It? S he’s d ru v m e o u t of m ine! I t ’s In there. C an ’t you sm ell th e ham
th e last s tr a w ! ”
cooking?”
“ V ery w ell, N oah,” said M nrtle cold
B eulah lifted h e r nose a n d u n d o u b t
ly, and w ith o u t a n o th e r w ord sh e
edly sm elled th e odor o f broiled h a m —
tu rn e d a n d w en t d o w n sta irs.
an d coffee. I l e r ham an d h e r coffee!
H a lf an hour In ter Noah D ibley
“ Does y o u r f a th e r kn o w ?” sh e d e
pau sed in th e s ittin g room doorw ay.
m anded of th e lad.
“ Ooodby. M artle.” lie said p le a s a n t
H e nodded his head. “ I h eard him
ly. “ I ’m goInT now. I'll sen d yon a
p o stc ard .” H e bent an d pecked a kiss ta lk in g to ’em . h u t he w o u ld n ’t tell me
w h a t It w as ab o u t. I e x p e c t th e y ’re
a t h e r h a ir and th en nodded a fa re
d an g ero u s v illain s.” he ended w ith
w ell to B eulah Fitch.
som e sa tisfactio n , fo r he d e a rly loved
•'Ooodby, B eulah. I hope you en
Joy y o u r v isit.” he said d ry ly an d then his nickel novels.
B eulah w as no co w ard. S he m arch
h u rried o ut to c a tc h th e sta g e w hich
ed up to th e fro n t door. Billy Sm ith
w as p assin g on its daily trip to th e rail
w atched her w ith re lu c ta n t ad m ira tio n
road sta tio n .
in his little eyes.
“ P o o r c h ild ! " e ln c u ln t e d B e u la h n s
sh e flung a fa t arm aro u n d M artle’s
'*WBLCOM12 HOME, HEUl.AH !" CRIED JAS >S
HEARTILY.
m a n d e d w ra tb fu lly . "D id you c u t tli.it
■ldo o f b acon, N oah D ibley?"
“Ob. y e s ’m ," said Noali ch eerfu lly .
“ I 'v e c u t in to th e b am —a r a re sw e e t
h am i t w a s too!"
“ A nd th o se stra w b e rry p r e s e n e s .
B eu lah !" J a so n w ickedly licked bis
lips a s h e p laced a p la te fo r Ifculah
F itch . “ A nd th e fru it cak e!”
“ W h a t d o es th is m enu?" dem an d ed
B eu lah hotly. “ A re you both crazy ?"
" I t c e rta in ly looks like it.” sa id No ill
w ith la u g h te r in his blu e eyes, " h u t
th e tr u th Is. C ousin B eulah, w e got
m ig h ty tire d oi e n te rta in in g com pany
w ith o u t b ein g e n te rta in e d in re tu rn .
'T u lu ’t th a t w e're n o t h o sp itab le, be
ca u se you k now w e a re . h u t th e re 's
su ch a th in g ns w e a rin g o u t h o sp ita l
ity —an d n o n e of m y fo lk s h av e e v er
been o v er h ere ex cep t fo r a d a y —a n d
I g o t all w ro u g h t u p o v e r it, B eulah,
a n d I told M a rtle n e x t tim e you cam e
I’d go aw ay . I did. I w e n t to Ja so n 's ,
a n d he w a s su fferin g th e sa m e w a y I
w a s—from too m an y v isits. 'T w a n 't
fa ir th ey should be all on one sid e
w hen o u r w iv es h a v e to w o rk so h a rd
—if yo u 'd v isit so m e tim es w h en th e re
w ere te n fa rm h an d s to cook fo r it
w ould help a lot. b u t you d o n 't—and
so Ja so n a n d I Ju st cam e o v er h ere to
p ay you a v isit, th o u g h you w a’n ’t to
hom e. W e said w e'd s ta y till you w ere
read y to v a c a te o u r houses. W ell. B eu
lah. w h a t sh all w e do a b o u t It?”
B eulah F itch g rew v ery red in th e
face a n d scolded vigo ro u sly fo r te n
m inutes.
Ja so n , w ho kep t ca re fu l
count, d eclared t h a t sh e n e v e r p au sed
once fo r b re a th ; th e n sh e b eg an to
cry. an d in th e end sh e lau g h ed , an d
th e a lte rn a te sto rm a n d ra in a n d su n
sh in e seem ed to b reak up so m e u n
hap p y o b stru c tio n In h e r n a tu ra lly
sw e e t d isposition, a n d a f te r th a t m o
m en t o f sh am e an d h u m iliatio n B eu
lah F itch had ch an g ed en tirely .
T h e th re e a te s u p p e r to g eth er, th e
m en v ery m uch su b d u e d a f te r B e u la h 's
o u tb re a k , fo r w h ich th e y fe lt e n tirely
responsible, even w h ile th ey knew
th ey w ere in th e rig h t. B enlah con
fessed. lau g h in g th ro u g h h er te a rs,
th a t M a rtle had q u a rre le d w ith h er
and se n t h e r a w a y an d tlin t w hen sh e
arriv e d a t Nina D lb ley 's Ja s o n 's w ife
had scolded h er an d accu sed h e r o f
b re a k in g up h er hom e. So B eu lah had
com e hom e because, n s sh e n aiv ely e x
plained. th e re w as no o th e r place to go.
D ate th a t ev en in g Noah nnd Ja so n
b ad e farew ell to B eu lah F itch . T h e
ca rria g e from th e liv ery sta b le w aited
for th em a t th e g a te , nnd still th ey
lingered.
"O oodby, B eulah.” sa id N oah re g re t
fully. “ I ’m te rrib ly so rry It h ap p en ed
—n nd com e uid see u s w h e n e v e r you
like." A nd he d a s h e d dow n th e w alk
to w ard th e carriag e.
"O oodby, Iteulnh.” said J a so n ; " i t ’s
too bad it al! h ap p en ed a n d —e r —com e
nnd see us w h en ev e r you w a n t to —
nnd s ta y ns long ns you like!" a n d he,
too, ru sh ed dow n th e p a th an d clim b
ed Into th e i .1 triag e.
B eulah F it It w av ed a goodby from
th e porch, an d te a rs w ere In h e r eyes.
“T h e y 're good a t h e a rt," s h e told
herself, “only I'm like a lot o f o th e r
folk«—I’v e o u tsta y e d m y w elcom e. I'v e
got a lot of e n te rta in in g to do to m ak e
It up nnd ho Independent. I g u ess I'll
give n big C h ristm a s p n rtv nnd In v ite
th e hull fam ily -c o u sin s n nd a u n ts . I t
will c a t into th a t b an k acc o u n t—b u t.
Ren la li F itch , you’v e g o t to learn th a t
lesson!"
UNITED STATES ENGLISH.
A J . m nw ooo f r s s .
». I.tH IB I, V .- P r e t.
1. H. HA; \HD. C is titi
0 C SANFORD. Asst. C is titi
They Think Abroad Wo Aro Forming o
Now Language Haro.
U nless th ey a re fa irly co n v erse! t
o p C O g U I U l i B , O R B O O fl.
w ith c u r re n t tr a n s a tla n tic fiction, am i,
ab o v e all, w ith th e n ew sp u p ers of t-s
T r a i m a c t s a G e n e r a l B a n k i n g B u w in e u r
day, E n g lish m en do n o t realize th a t a
uew lan g u ag e seem s in p ro cess o f fo r
m atio n iu th e U nited S ta te s. A D an
i t s r t sf D lisetsrs.
C s rrs s s s s ts s ts
ish sa v a n t, th e p ro fe sso r of lan g u ag i s
R
.
0
.
Dement,
A.
J
.
.Sherwood,
Nstlon»l
Bent
o Commerce, New York 1
a t th e C open h ag en u n iv e rsity , h as p re
L. Harlocker,
L. H . Hazard, j Crocker Woolworth N’lBank, San Franc!
d icted th a t iu a few c e n tu rie s “th ey
Isaiah Hacker.
K. K. Shine. First N at’l Bank of Portland. Portland
will be sp e a k in g A m erican o v er in
E n g lan d in ste a d o f E n g lish .” H e Is
ulso o f th e opinion th a t " th e so called
sla n g o f th e p re se n t A m erican to n g u e
R . S. K n o w l t o n , P re s id e n t
G e o . A . R o b in s o n , V ic e -P re s.
Is fa r m ore poetical, p ic tu re sq u e and
R . H . M a s t , C a sh ie r.
serviceable th a n th e E n g lish of S h ak es
p eare’s tim e."
M aking allo w an ce fo r a c e rta in ex-
u g g eratlo n . th is ex p ressio n of opinion
U n o tab le a s sh o w in g th a t a n e x p e rt
believ es a new A m erican “ lan g u ag e ’
to he in co u rse of d ev elo p m en t. A m eri
COQUILLE, OREGON
can sla n g Is c e rta in ly m ore forceful
an d ex p ressiv e th a n th e a rg o t of tho
B ritish Isles, an d . a lth o u g h m uch of It
Opmed for Busmes March, 1 8 9 0
Is q u ite u n n ecessa ry , i t co n sists in
larg o p a r t o f th e em p lo y m en t o f very
CORRESPONDENTS ;
u p to d a te m etap h o r, r a th e r th a n th e
L add & T ilto n B ank, P o rtla n d
F i r s t N a tio n a l B a n k , S an F ra n c isc o
use o f “c a n t p h ra se s ," a s th e y w ere
term ed in th e e ig h te e n th c e n tu ry .
N a tio n a l P a r k , N ew Y o rk
F i r s t T r u s t & S av in g s, Coos B ay
In fa c t, th e u se o f m etu p h o r Is so
p ro n o u n ced th a t a u E n g lish m an , o th
erw ise Ig n o ra n t o f "good U n ited S ta te s
lingo” m ig h t u n d e rsta n d m uch of It it
N S t k i S k S H J -tS-tiS-CS-A?
(C
h e w ere c o n v ersa n t w ith th e tech n ical
OLD RELIABLE—EQUIPPED WITH WIRELESS
te rm s em ployed In en g in eerin g o r ra il
w ay o p eratio n s. I t Is creep in g into
E n g lish r a th e r rap id ly , a f a c t h eartily
to b e d ep lo red .—Loudon Globe.
FIRST NATIONAL BA N K
Farmers
Merchants Bank
and
STEAMER BREAKWATER
ALWAYS ON TIME
SWEET POTATOES IN JAPAN.
One of tho T h ree T h in g s There N atlvo
W om en Really Love.
T h e s w e e t p o tato seem s to h a w
e m ig ra te d fro m C h in a via th e L o o
Choo Islan d s to J a p a n . N early tw o
c e n tu rie s ago Aokl K onyo reco m m en d
ed to th o sh o g u n th o c u ltiv a tio n o f th o
sw e e t p o ta to nil o v er th e em pire. In
g ra te fu l m em ory o f th e b e n e fa c to r
th e re no w s ta n d s o v er Aoki’s g ra v e t .
m o n u m en t w ith th is u n iq u e luscrlp-
tlon, “ T h e p o ta to p ro fesso r.”
O ne o f th e d istin g u ish in g f e a t u r e '
o f T ok y o is th e sw e e t p o tato b ak eries
w h ere, d u rin g th e co ld er m onths, h o 1;
p o ta to e s p ro v e a g o d send to m any.
A round th e s e p o ta to sh ops th e poorer
ch ild ren cro w d w ith th e ir coppers,
an x io u s fo r th e m orsel w h ich Is to
th em w h a t m ilk ch o co late Is to ch i
d ren o f th e w est. Itu m o r h a s i t th a t
th e re a r e b u t th r e e th in g s th e J a p a
nose w o m an really loves—p um pkin,
th e a te r g oing nnd sw eet p otato.
A t p re se n t th e re a r e m ore th a n 1,00 >
p o tato o v en s in T okyo, an d th e s a le o f
ro a st p o ta to e s an n u a lly to ta ls m o r »
th a n 1,000.000 y en
In no c o u n try In
th e w orld c a n th e poor people g e t pure,
w holesom e food m o re co n v en ien tly an d
econom ically th a n in J a p a n . W h eth er
one g e ts a box o f rice w ith p ick les an d
d ry fish in a s ta tio n o r a p o t of te a fo r
2)6 c e n ts on th e tra in , it Is alw a y s
clean a n d a ttra c tiv e ly serv ed .—D etro it
N ew s T rib u n e.
Real F o u n d ers of R ussian Muaio.
T h e old sa y in g th a t a m an m u st d e
v o te h is w hole life to one th in g to b e
com e really g re a t finds a cu rio u s e x
ception In th e fo u n d e rs o f tlie now R u s
sia n m usic. T h e m ost b rillia n t m en in
th is w o rk all o rig in a lly follow ed o th er
lines. T sch aik o w sk y w a s a law y er;
C a e sa r Cul w as p ro fesso r o f fo rtifica
tio n s Iu th e M ilitary A cadem y o f St.
P e te rsb u rg nnd Is to d ay lie u te n a n t g en
e ral of R u ssian e n g in e e rs; Borodino
w as a p h y sic ia n ; Iilm sk y -K o rsak o v
w as a n officer in th e ltu s s la n n av y ;
B ulaieff w a s a tim b e r m e rc h a n t; Mous-
so rg sk y w as a so ld ier, b ein g a n of
ficer iu one o f th e m o st fam o u s reg i
m en ts, and S okalsky w a s in th e diplo
m atic serv ice, being sta tio n e d fo r sev
eral y e a rs in N ew York a n d a fte rw a rd
becom ing e d ito r o f th e p rin cip al n e w s
p ap er o f O dessa.—L ad ies' H o m e J o u r
nal.
T he S k ep ticism of P o starlty .
T h e re Is oue v ery larg e, v ery sad
an d v ery c e rta in t r u th a b o u t a ll th e re
la tio n s of p a st a u d fu tu re . T h a t tr u th
is th is —th e f u tu re w ill n o t believe us
I t w ill n o t believe o u r m o st so lem n aud
p ro fo u n d assertio n s. I t w ill ratio n alize
th em o r rid icu le th em . In one w u y o»
a n o th e r it will e x p la in th em aw ay , for
th a t Is tlie m ost c e rta in th in g a b o u t th e
a ttitu d e of m en to w a rd th e ir rem ote
an cesto rs. T hey will believe th e te s ti
mony o f m a te ria l th in g s o r of th e ir ow n
c o n jectu res, h u t n e v e r th e sw o rn w ord
of th e ir fa th e rs . W ere It not so th e re
w ould he no room fo r h isto rical critl
cism o r p erh a p s fo r h isto ry a s a sci
ence a t all.—H illa ire Belloc in P all
Mall M agazine.
Sails from Portland at 8 P. M.,
Every Tuesday
Sails from Coos Bay at Service of Tide
E v ery S a tu rd a y
T ick ets on sale to all E a ste rn p o in ts an d in fo rm atio n as to ro u te s
and rate.” cheerfully furnished
W. L. K0LM, Agent
Phone M ain 181
5 O 0 0 C
Fred Von Pegert
KIME & VON PEGERT
MECHANICAL
S IL O P
Genera
I’J a c k sm ith in g
W agon M aking, Machim
W ork, P a tte r n M ak in g and
C a stin g , A u to m o b ile W ork.
COQUILLE,
OREGON
>QOOO O O O O O O O O W >O O fl
Roseburg M yrtle P oint S tage
And Auto Line
Leaves M yrtle P o in t 5 a. m .
A rriv es R oseburg, n etft day
L eaves R o seb u rg ....... 6 p. m .
A rr. M yrtle P o in t by 10 p. m .
M ake reserv atio n s in ad v an ce a t Ow 1
D rug S to re , M arshfield.
Carrying Baggage and United Slates Mail
J. L. LAIRD, Proprietor
Office at Laird’s Livery Barn, Myrtle Point, Both Phones
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SPREAD OUT!
S enseless Q uestion.
B rig g s hud h ired a horse to ta k e a
little exercise. H e got m ore ex ercise
th a n he w a n te d , an d a s be lim ped to
th e sid e o f th e road to r e s t h im self a
kin d frie n d ask ed him :
“ W h a t d id you com e d o w n so quick
fo r?”
“ W h a t did I com e d o w n so quick
fo r? Do you see a n y th in g u p in th e a ir
fo r m e to hold on to ?” he a sk e d grim ly.
—C hicago News.
E m b a rrassin g .
“ Do you ev e r see th e p re sid e n t? ” ask
ed W illie of his uuele. w ho lived in
W ashin g to n .
"Y es; n e a rly ev ery d a y ," w as th e
re p ly .
“ A nd does h e e v er see you?” q u eried
th e little fellow —C hicago News.
Milk and th e T eeth.
M ilk, b ecau se It c o n ta in s so m uch
lim e, is one of th e b est foods fo r th e
te e th , w h ich o ften decay for th e lack
of lim e.
----
w
•-
—
H is H int.
“ D o n 't you w a n t som e needle«,
d e a r? " q u e rie d B row n a s he pick ed up
his s h ir t a n d glan ced a t th e p laces
w h e re th e b u tto n s sho u ld h a v e been.
“ W hy. no." rep lied M rs. B row n
“ W hy do yon ask ?"
“ Oh. I th o u g h t.” said B ro w n a trifle
n erv o u sly , " t h a t p ro b ab ly y o u r old ones
had becom e w orn by m uch use.” —E x
ch an g e.
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Let us help you !
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best possible form.
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for the progressive merchant.
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