COFFEE BREAK B6 — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD THuRSDAY, ApRIL 7, 2022 Gay man wishes he had straight male friends friends, but what I really want is a male best friend or, hell, just a male friend, period. Of course, everyone has their own opinions on what I should do — “join a meeting, a group, social activities and blah blah.” I have done all of those things, and I can’t figure out what’s wrong. I have now learned to just keep my mouth shut and not invite anyone to do anything. Any suggestions would be welcomed, but I have pretty much tried everything, including seeing a counselor. — CURIOUS IN OKLAHOMA DEAR CURIOUS: The problem you’re having with straight men may be that they are nervous about being perceived as “gay by association” if they DEAR ABBY: I am a 47-year-old gay man. I’m well-educated, but there’s some- thing I can’t figure out. Why do straight guys not want to be friends? I never hit on them, I enjoy a lot of the same pastimes like games, working on cars, etc. I want to be transparent, but when I tell them upfront, they disappear. Sometimes it gets back to me that they thought I was asking them on a date if I invited someone to go to a ballgame, for example. I have plenty of female BOLI bigger things. Incumbents have run for governor, U.S. Senator, Oregon Supreme Court Justice, and sec- retary of state. None has won. The three most active candidates have been Helt, Kulla and Stephenson. Continued from Page B1 Tina Kotek, D-Portland, state Treasurer Tobias Read, and, before he was ruled ineligible because of resi- dency requirements, New York Times columnist Nich- olas Kristof. In mid-January, Kulla switched to run for BOLI. With Hoyle running for Congress, Kulla was briefly the clear frontrunner. Kulla says the labor commissioner’s top priority is ensuring the civil and working rights of workers and people seeking housing are protected. The commissioner’s office has to be a place that proactively gets out infor- mation to workers that busi- ness owners don’t make the rules — and BOLI is a place to get information and if necessary, seek help to resolve disputes. “But first, they need to know that BOLI exists,” Kulla said. “It doesn’t matter if there are rules if people don’t know about them and who enforces them.” Kulla said relations between businesses and workers that come to BOLI don’t have to always be adversarial. As one of the first cannabis licensees in the state, Kulla took part in creating the rules and reg- ulations that would guide the legal marijuana business into the future. Both the state and the growers shared expertise and dispelled inaccurate information. “It was a great example of the regulators and the regulated listening to each other and finding solutions that worked,” Kulla said. Oregon’s economy and workforce are rapidly evolving, Kulla said, with areas such as gig workers and farm workers whose jobs don’t fit easily into pro-Trump and supported by vaccine skeptics seemed unlikely. Hoyle’s decision to drop her reelection bid for BOLI was an opportunity. “I liked that BOLI was nonpartisan,” Helt said. “It fits my experience well. I’ve been a business owner for 18 years. We’ve had 103 employees. BOLI has 120. No other candidate has run a business with over 100 employees.” Helt said she’d seen the ups and downs of career and technical training pro- grams as a school board member. She praised Hoyle for realigning programs to better fit with real world job demands in Oregon. Her time in the Legislature gave her a view on how work- place law evolves. “The office takes all of my hats and combines them into one,” Helt said. Helt rejects the label of conservative in the race, but wants to bring an open and pragmatic approach to the job. “The job is to uphold the civil rights of all Orego- nians,” Helt said. “It has to be a fair process and a bal- anced process. Part of the job is ensuring that every- body knows the rules. This shouldn’t be a ‘gotcha’ agency. I think most employers want to do the right thing. But for the bad actors, I’ll enforce the law.” • Portland employee rights attorney Christina Stephenson, who had unsuc- cessfully run for the House and Multnomah County Democratic Party chair, Cheri Helt filed the day after Kulla. • On the last day to file A restaurateur in Bend, for office, former Rep. Cheri Helt served about 10 years Helt, R-Bend, jumped into on school boards, and two the race. years in the Oregon Rounding out House representing the field are Corne- Bend. lius forest manage- Helt is a remnant ment businessman of a vanishing polit- ical species that once Aaron Baca, Aloha dominated state pol- banker Brent itics: the moderate Barker, Oregon City Helt Republican. truck driver Chris Elected to the Henry, and Green- horn laborer Robert House from a Demo- cratic-leaning district Neuman. If one can win in 2018, Helt often more than 50% of bumped heads with the vote in the May the GOP caucus — 17 primary elec- sponsoring legislation Kulla tion, the race is for mandatory vac- cinations for school over — there would children that was be no run-off in opposed by Republi- November. With cans. When the House seven candidates GOP caucus walked and three with polit- ical track records, out to deny a quorum Stephenson to consider a contro- it’s a longshot that versial carbon cap bill, the final winner Helt was the only one of 22 won’t be determined in the Republicans who remained Nov. 7 general election. The BOLI job is part in Salem. workplace referee, part civil After losing her 2020 rights enforcer, part job reelection bid to now Rep. training promoter, part gov- Jason Kropf, D-Bend, ernment information desk Helt’s focus was on main- taining her family business and complaint box. There’s a $31 million and employees during the budget for the office — not COVID-19 pandemic. a lot by state government Looking to return to standards. The job pays public office, Helt felt she $77,000 — less than the was a good match for the $98,600 the governor makes politically moderate elec- and barely twice the $32,839 torate in the newly aligned 5th Congressional Dis- paid state lawmakers for trict. She could win a gen- their officially part-time eral election, but winning jobs. Unlike other offices, it a closed primary against hasn’t been a springboard to opponents who are avidly Casey Kulla Kulla was the first candi- date to sign up for the 2022 Democratic primary for governor when the window to file opened last autumn. But as more candidates entered the race, the Yam- hill County commissioner saw money and attention among Democrats focused on former House Speaker weather | Go to AccuWeather.com become a real struggle. I have a group of friends who have not managed to do well through it all. Previous issues multiplied, and their lives have become pitiable messes. Early on in the pandemic, we attempted to keep moods up with weekly Zoom hangouts. It helped a little, but because my mental status has always been a little better than theirs, I was never a focus of support. As the world has begun to open up, we have been able to see each other in person, and it has become obvious to me that I need to distance myself from them to protect what I have worked so hard to maintain. Do I owe them an explanation about why I cannot be with them? are friendly with you. Some may also find the concept of being friends with a gay man to be threatening. Taking part in group activities and outings is certainly a way to connect with others regardless of sexual orientation. Eventu- ally, you’ll meet people and form friendships. In the meantime, appreciate those female friends of yours and ask them for some input, too. DEAR ABBY: This has been a rough pandemic for all of us. We have all experienced the con- stant fear of disease, job loss and the pressure to react to those stresses in prescribed ways that aren’t always easy. For those of us who deal with mental health issues on the best of days, it has existing definitions of jobs. BOLI needs to keep both workers and operators in these areas up to date with changes in the the rule. On technical job training, Kulla said he wants to see more coopera- tion with Oregon employers so that the students who commit to the programs as a path to their post-high school or community col- lege working lives don’t just end up with a certificate. “There has to be a clear path to real jobs at the end,” he said. Astoria Christina Stephenson The day after Kulla filed for BOLI, he was fol- lowed by Christina Ste- phenson, a Democrat and employee rights attorney. Stephenson has won the backing of at least 21 labor union groups, including the AFL-CIO, AFSCME, Teamsters, along with political action committees for Planned Parenthood and Pro Choice Oregon. She’s been endorsed by Hoyle, and four former BOLIs. Political backers include U.S. Sen. Jeff Merkley, former Gov. Barbara Roberts, House Speaker Dan Rayfield, DeFazio, and eight cur- rent state lawmakers, along with several local officeholders. Stephenson says she’s had a front row seat to the shortcomings of labor law in Oregon. “My job has been rep- resenting workers getting a raw deal for employers who aren’t following the rules,” Stephenson said. Stephenson said BOLI needs to be a resource for both employers and employees so that they know what’s right and wrong from the start. Longview 45/51 Kennewick 47/54 St. Helens 51/57 50/57 Portland Condon 49/62 SAT SUN MON Partly cloudy Rain and drizzle A few showers Morning snow showers A little rain 46 27 41 22 43 25 Eugene 0 0 0 49/59 45 30 43 30 47 30 0 0 1 48 60 35 Comfort Index™ 10 Enterprise 8 44 61 29 Comfort Index™ 10 43 30 0 0 0 9 TUESDAY EXTREMES ALMANAC TEMPERATURES Baker City La Grande Elgin NATION (for the 48 contiguous states) High Tuesday Low Tuesday High: 101° Low: 10° Wettest: 4.48” 45° 24° 48° 29° 49° 34° Tuesday Trace Month to date 0.04 Normal month to date 0.13 Year to date 0.71 Normal year to date 2.19 0.00 0.08 0.29 2.46 4.91 0.02 0.11 0.40 7.30 8.26 PRECIPITATION (inches) AGRICULTURAL INFO. HAY INFORMATION FRIDAY Lowest relative humidity Afternoon wind Hours of sunshine Evapotranspiration 35% WNW at 8 to 16 mph 10.9 0.13 RESERVOIR STORAGE (through midnight Wednesday) Phillips Reservoir Unity Reservoir Owyhee Reservoir McKay Reservoir Wallowa Lake Thief Valley Reservoir 47/56 10% of capacity 67% of capacity 42% of capacity 73% of capacity 38% of capacity 94% of capacity STREAM FLOWS (through midnight Tuesday) Grande Ronde at Troy 3700 cfs Thief Valley Reservoir near North Powder 1 cfs Burnt River near Unity 4 cfs Umatilla River near Gibbon 360 cfs Minam River at Minam 349 cfs Powder River near Richland 43 cfs Zapata, Texas Dakota Hill, Colo. Hattiesburg, Miss. OREGON High: 58° Low: 19° Wettest: 0.19” Eugene Crater Lake McMinnville Lightning struck an oil refi nery on April 7, 1926, at San Luis Obispo, Calif. The resulting fi re lasted fi ve days, scorched 900 acres and burned more than 6 million barrels of oil. SUN & MOON THU. FRI. 6:22 a.m. 6:20 a.m. 7:28 p.m. 7:29 p.m. 9:51 a.m. 10:41 a.m. 1:35 a.m. 2:29 a.m. MOON PHASES First Apr 8 Full Apr 16 Last Apr 23 41/59 Beaver Marsh 39/53 48/60 New Apr 30 Jordan Valley Paisley Frenchglen 48/75 City Astoria Bend Boise Brookings Burns Coos Bay Corvallis Council Elgin Eugene Hermiston Hood River Imnaha John Day Joseph Kennewick Klamath Falls Lakeview Hi/Lo/W 51/41/sh 57/31/c 79/34/c 57/42/pc 72/23/c 54/43/sh 55/38/sh 70/31/pc 58/34/sh 59/41/sh 64/39/c 57/42/r 69/37/pc 67/29/sh 61/29/c 67/39/c 63/25/pc 70/25/c Hi/Lo/W 49/37/r 45/31/c 51/30/pc 55/40/s 48/20/pc 52/42/sh 52/36/r 46/24/c 43/29/pc 53/38/r 55/36/pc 49/39/r 46/30/pc 44/26/pc 40/24/c 57/38/pc 47/22/s 48/18/s Grand View Arock 36/82 37/79 42/79 Klamath Falls 38/63 Lakeview 37/70 McDermitt Shown is Friday’s weather. Temperatures are Thursday night’s lows and Friday’s highs. SAT. Diamond 45/74 Fields 50/62 FRI. Boise 43/77 44/70 38/57 Medford Brookings 38/77 44/79 46/61 45/57 Juntura 34/72 Silver Lake Chiloquin Grants Pass Ontario 39/78 Burns 40/66 40/77 RECREATION FORECAST FRIDAY REGIONAL CITIES WEATHER HISTORY Sunrise Sunset Moonrise Moonset Brothers 44/53 Roseburg Huntington 41/65 Bend Coos Bay 39/70 40/73 Seneca 45/57 Oakridge Council 36/62 46/67 46/53 Elkton Powers 37/67 42/58 John Day 42/59 Sisters Florence 47/55 Halfway Granite Baker City 46/54 Comfort Index takes into account how the weather will feel based on a combination of factors. A rating of 10 feels very comfortable while a rating of 0 feels very uncomfortable. 45/61 Redmond 48/59 39 24 Monument 46/55 Newport Enterprise 44/61 48/60 46/51 48/56 Corvallis 45/52 40 25 43/58 La Grande 47/56 49/61 Idanha Salem FRI La Grande Elgin Pendleton The Dalles 51/58 48/57 TONIGHT 9 47/60 46/60 Newberg Lewiston 46/63 Hood River Maupin Comfort Index™ 10 Forecasts and graphics provided by AccuWeather, Inc. ©2022 Walla Walla 43/67 Vancouver 48/56 TIllamook 36 62 29 “The law is compli- cated,” she said. “There are a number of dif- ferent tests — civil rights vs. wage and hour laws, workers compensation, unemployment. Both sides are probably unsure of where they stand. BOLI’s role is to help everyone understand rights and responsibilities.” Stephenson said the gig economy in which busi- ness consider themselves middlemen between cus- tomers and contracted workers will be a challenge to define in labor law. So will the evolving status of farm workers. “It’s up to the Legisla- ture to make the laws,” she said. That may mean taking a step like California to legally define the status of gig workers as employees or something else. “What everyone wants and needs is clarity and simplicity,” Stephenson said. BOLI’s role in job and technical training is to align students as early as middle school to know their options. Programs have to match employers’ needs. The result has to be good jobs that pay a living wage. Stephenson said she was proud of the support she’s received from organized labor, but that didn’t mean she would come into the job in an adversarial stance to business. “Quality jobs, fair housing, fair wages, should all be pretty non-contro- versial issues,” she said. “Our good employers don’t want these bad actors breaking the law. It puts them at a competitive dis- advantage when someone else is making money through wage theft.” AROUND OREGON AND THE REGION 46/51 Baker City I worry that pointing out that things are not good would drag them down further. These are people I have known for decades, but I don’t have the energy to act as emo- tional support for them anymore. I’d like to leave them in the best shape I can. What should I say to them? — CARING FRIEND IN THE EAST DEAR CARING FRIEND: Be less available when you are contacted. When you do, your excuse should be truthful. Say you need time to yourself to work on your own mental health issues and therefore will be less available. You do not have to apologize for it, nor should you feel guilty for taking care of yourself. City Lewiston Longview Meacham Medford Newport Olympia Ontario Pasco Pendleton Portland Powers Redmond Roseburg Salem Spokane The Dalles Ukiah Walla Walla FRI. SAT. Hi/Lo/W 63/40/pc 54/40/sh 58/33/pc 62/38/c 52/40/sh 52/38/c 78/39/pc 68/41/c 60/35/c 58/41/sh 56/42/sh 59/31/c 60/43/sh 56/39/sh 59/32/c 62/44/pc 56/29/c 60/39/c Hi/Lo/W 52/34/sh 47/39/r 43/30/pc 56/35/pc 49/37/r 50/34/r 58/34/pc 59/37/pc 51/33/pc 51/40/r 52/40/r 45/29/sh 53/40/c 51/39/r 49/29/pc 54/41/r 40/25/r 51/33/sh Weather(W): s-sunny, pc-partly cloudy, c-cloudy, sh-showers, t-thunderstorms, r-rain, sf-snow fl urries, sn-snow, i-ice ANTHONY LAKES PHILLIPS LAKE Cooler A p.m. shower 42 16 60 30 MT. EMILY REC. BROWNLEE RES. Showers around A p.m. shower 48 25 71 35 EAGLE CAP WILD. EMIGRANT ST. PARK Rain and snow Rain and drizzle 48 20 51 27 WALLOWA LAKE MCKAY RESERVOIR Cooler in the p.m. Cooler 61 29 58 35 THIEF VALLEY RES. RED BRIDGE ST. PARK Showers around Rain and drizzle 62 29 60 35