COFFEE BREAK
B6 — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD
TUESDAY, JANUARY 11, 2022
Pandemic marriage’s fi rst year leaves wife dreading a second
I end it, the sooner the better? —
HONEYMOON-LESS IN NEW
JERSEY
DEAR HONEYMOON-LESS:
The pandemic has stressed many
marriages, but with the quarantines
relaxing there should be less pres-
sure and confi nement. Has it helped?
Whether your hot-tempered husband
is capable of changing his behavior
is something that may be revealed
during the counseling.
You didn’t mention how long the
two of you have been seeing a ther-
apist, but if it has been more than
six months with no improvement,
it’s fair to assume he isn’t likely to
change, and the marriage should end.
In the meantime, use the most pow-
erful form of birth control you pos-
sibly can so you don’t fi nd yourself
pregnant and trapped in a marriage
from which you cannot escape.
DEAR ABBY: My mom is in
a home for dementia patients, and
Dad was living in their big house
by himself. He couldn’t sell it until
everything was settled with my
mom. Because he was very lonely,
I decided to let him move in with
me. We agreed he would pay $320
a month. I needed the money and
thought it was fair. My roommate
pays $400 a month, but I was OK
DEAR ABBY: My husband and
I got married during the pandemic
in a short ceremony. Our fi rst year of
marriage has been less a honeymoon
than a nightmare. He tends to be hot-
headed. He fi ghts dirty with name-
calling, which he had occasionally
done previously, but since we’ve
been living together, it happens more
often.
We are trying marriage coun-
seling, but all of his temper tantrums
and antics have made me see him in
a diff erent, negative light. He’s now
talking about growing our family. He
can be very sweet and thoughtful,
but I don’t even know if I still like
him at this point.
I’m also wondering if I’m just
better alone because I like my space
and time to myself. Maybe I’m set-
tling with the current situation when
there could be someone better out
there. I know the grass isn’t always
greener on the other side. Is this
something I need to give some time
to see how it plays out, or should
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with Dad paying less.
When my sister found out, she
was very upset that I was charging
Dad. She had him move out that day,
so now he sleeps at my brother’s and
spends most of the day at his house.
When I turned 18 and lived at
home I paid rent, so I saw nothing
wrong with it. Now I am an out-
cast. No one talks to me except my
dad, by phone. I am very depressed
about this and feel suicidal. I suff er
from anxiety and depression, see
a therapist and have been on meds
for years. Am I wrong, and how
do I fi x this? — GOOD SON IN
PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR GOOD SON: If you
haven’t done so already, talk about
this with your therapist. It is very
important that he or she knows you
are having suicidal thoughts and
that they persist. You did nothing
“wrong.” Your father agreed to the
arrangement, and he should have
made that clear to your sister. She
was wrong to interfere, and she
seems to wield a disproportionate
amount of power in your family. I
can’t fi x that and neither can you,
so you will have to fi nd ways of
coping not only with your depres-
sion but also with her. You have my
sympathy.
an attempt to exclude family mem-
bers because their chromosomes are
not the same as hers, this may simply
have been an etiquette boo-boo.
DEAR ABBY: I have been mar-
ried for 35 years and have a recurring
problem with no solution in sight.
My wife sets frozen meat on the
counter to thaw. She says she can’t
count on thawing it in the fridge
because it takes too long and inter-
feres with her meal planning. Her
mother has always done it this way,
and no one has ever gotten sick. I
try talking to her but it only ends up
in a fi ght. Any suggestions would
be appreciated. — RISKY IN
ILLINOIS
DEAR RISKY: The Food and
Drug Administration has issued
guidelines about food preparation
because people have gotten very sick
when it wasn’t done properly. Over
the last 10 or 15 years, conditions
in some of our slaughterhouses and
agricultural operations have dete-
riorated, and consumers have died
because of it. Whether you can con-
vince your wife to change her ways, I
can’t predict. But you might be doing
her a favor if you visit fda.gov and
print out some information for her
and your mother-in-law. Better to be
safe than sorry.
DEAR ABBY: My niece is get-
ting married this spring, which has
created a dilemma for my immediate
family. When the save-the-date cards
went out, she addressed them only to
the women in the family. We thought
it was a mistake at fi rst, but now the
invitations have arrived, and they are
also addressed to the women only.
My husband and my son (her fi rst
cousin) feel slighted. My son’s wife
was invited, but she doesn’t know
the bride at all. It seems the bride
has a limited number of guests she
can invite for the venue. She also has
a large number of friends and the
groom’s family attending.
Out of respect for my son and my
husband — and a son-in-law who
was also excluded — we all will
respond that we will not attend. I
feel terrible not being able to see my
niece walk down the aisle, but I’m
not used to my spouse being ignored.
Am I doing the right thing? — PUZ-
ZLED IN FLORIDA
DEAR PUZZLED: Before you
refuse the wedding invitation, call
your niece and ask if she is inten-
tionally excluding the men. Because
women make most of the social
arrangements, she may not have real-
ized that each guest’s name must
appear on the invitation. Rather than
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weather
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AROUND OREGON AND THE REGION
Astoria
Longview
49/54
Kennewick
50/56
St. Helens
48/58
TIllamook
37/48
36/41
47/56
47/56
Condon
WED
THU
FRI
SAT
Cloudy
Mostly cloudy
Rain and drizzle
Mostly cloudy
Cloudy
Salem
21 32 16
Comfort Index™
La Grande
0
29 44 30
Comfort Index™
3
34 23
33 18
Eugene
2
1
0
42/56
39 25
39 22
36 24
1
3
3
1
40 20
35 26
4
4
3
4
ALMANAC
TEMPERATURES Baker City La Grande Elgin
NATION (for the 48 contiguous states)
High: 87°
Low: -24°
Wettest: 2.06”
32°
8°
38°
30°
39°
15°
PRECIPITATION (inches)
Sunday
Month to date
Normal month to date
Year to date
Normal year to date
0.00
0.27
0.22
0.27
0.22
0.00
0.82
0.53
0.82
0.53
0.00
2.77
1.01
2.77
1.01
AGRICULTURAL INFO.
HAY INFORMATION WEDNESDAY
Lowest relative humidity
Afternoon wind
Hours of sunshine
Evapotranspiration
45%
S at 8 to 16 mph
0.5
0.06
RESERVOIR STORAGE (through midnight Monday)
Phillips Reservoir
Unity Reservoir
Owyhee Reservoir
McKay Reservoir
Wallowa Lake
Thief Valley Reservoir
Powers
48/61
1% of capacity
23% of capacity
18% of capacity
22% of capacity
17% of capacity
22% of capacity
STREAM FLOWS (through midnight Sunday)
Grande Ronde at Troy
1770 cfs
Thief Valley Reservoir near North Powder
0 cfs
Burnt River near Unity
14 cfs
Umatilla River near Gibbon
359 cfs
Minam River at Minam
217 cfs
Powder River near Richland
46 cfs
Brookings
TUE.
Sunrise
Sunset
Moonrise
Moonset
WED.
7:30 a.m. 7:30 a.m.
4:31 p.m. 4:32 p.m.
12:16 p.m. 12:40 p.m.
1:53 a.m. 2:58 a.m.
MOON PHASES
Full
Last
New
First
Jan Mayfair
17 recliners
Jan 25 and
Jan offi
31 ce chairs
Feb 8
Jordan Valley
27/46
Frenchglen
Paisley
33/52
33/54
Klamath Falls
24/46
ENDS
27/38
Lakeview
21/43
McDermitt
27/46
RECREATION FORECAST WEDNESDAY
THU.
City
Lewiston
Longview
Meacham
Medford
Newport
Olympia
Ontario
Pasco
Pendleton
Portland
Powers
Redmond
Roseburg
Salem
Spokane
The Dalles
Ukiah
Walla Walla
WED.
THU.
Hi/Lo/W
42/34/c
56/47/sh
39/26/c
50/38/c
53/46/c
54/47/sh
31/20/pc
40/29/c
53/34/c
56/43/c
61/48/c
52/33/c
54/43/c
55/43/c
40/31/c
41/35/c
46/28/c
45/33/c
Hi/Lo/W
40/33/pc
52/42/r
39/24/c
52/35/c
50/41/r
52/43/r
33/22/c
43/28/pc
48/30/sh
53/39/r
57/42/r
49/29/sn
54/38/r
54/40/r
38/30/c
46/31/c
44/25/pc
45/32/c
Weather(W): s-sunny, pc-partly cloudy, c-cloudy, sh-showers, t-thunderstorms, r-rain,
sf-snow fl urries, sn-snow, i-ice
JANUARY 17!
Grand View
Arock
23/42
27/44
REGIONAL CITIES
OFFER
Diamond
30/50
Fields
35/50
City
Hi/Lo/W Hi/Lo/W
Astoria
54/46/r 50/42/r
Bend
55/38/c 47/31/sn
Boise
39/21/pc 37/25/pc
Brookings
53/47/c 54/43/r
Burns
39/21/c 41/18/pc
Coos Bay
56/49/c 52/40/r
Corvallis
54/41/c 52/40/r
Council
35/21/pc 36/20/pc
Elgin
40/21/c 38/25/c
Eugene
56/42/c 53/41/r
Hermiston
48/31/c 50/27/c
Hood River
48/38/c 48/36/r
Imnaha
45/37/c 46/34/pc
John Day
48/34/c 43/33/pc
Joseph
44/34/c 43/23/pc
Kennewick
45/30/c 45/29/pc
Klamath Falls 46/26/c 45/21/pc
Lakeview
43/21/c 42/19/pc
Boise
22/39
Shown is Wednesday’s weather. Temperatures are Tuesday night’s lows and Wednesday’s highs.
WED.
24/40
Silver Lake
27/48
Medford
47/53
Juntura
21/39
40/55
Brookings
Baker City
SUN & MOON
41/54
Ontario
20/31
30/49
Chiloquin
OREGON
A siege of extreme cold began in the
Dakotas on Jan. 11, 1936. Langdon, N.D.,
failed to reach zero all day. Readings
remained below zero for the next 41
days. The extremes were associated with
drought.
Brothers
Beaver Marsh
Grants Pass
Huntington
24/38
Burns
33/42
28/49
Roseburg
20/35
29/44
41/55
Oakridge
48/56
WEATHER HISTORY
35/48
Seneca
41/61
Coos Bay
Weslaco, Texas
Crosby, N.D.
Clarksville, Tenn.
High: 66°
Low: 8°
Wettest: none
35/52
Council
21/32
John Day
Bend
Elkton
SUNDAY EXTREMES
High Sunday
Low Sunday
Sisters
Florence
Comfort Index takes into account how the weather will feel based on a combination of factors. A rating of 10 feels
very comfortable while a rating of 0 feels very uncomfortable.
24/39
37/54
43/57
40 22
21/34
Baker City
Redmond
50/55
Halfway
Granite
42/54
Newport
33 20
0
31 39 28
Comfort Index™
Enterprise
0
31/46
44/57
47/55
Corvallis
Enterprise
29/44
31/39
Monument
38/53
Idanha
49/53
Baker City
Elgin
30/40
La Grande
38/50
Maupin
TONIGHT
36/45
Pendleton
The Dalles
Portland
Newberg
37/42
Hood River
38/53
52/59
Lewiston
Walla Walla
32/45
Vancouver
48/56
Forecasts and graphics provided
by AccuWeather, Inc. ©2022
ANTHONY LAKES
PHILLIPS LAKE
Mostly cloudy
Mainly cloudy
35
27
35
21
MT. EMILY REC.
BROWNLEE RES.
Mostly cloudy
Mostly cloudy
39
32
42
26
EAGLE CAP WILD.
EMIGRANT ST. PARK
Mostly cloudy
Cloudy
33
25
41
30
WALLOWA LAKE
MCKAY RESERVOIR
Mostly cloudy
Cloudy
44
34
56
36
THIEF VALLEY RES.
RED BRIDGE ST. PARK
Mostly cloudy
Mostly cloudy
32
16
39
28
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