COFFEE BREAK B6 — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD THuRSDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2021 Discovery of ring complicates imminent engagement and it is the complete opposite of anything I would ever choose for myself. What do I do? I love this man with my whole heart. He’s my best friend, and we have been there for each other through the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. We have great communica- tion and always keep things com- pletely honest between us. I sup- pose I should suck it up. He chose this ring for me, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Please tell me what to do. — Disappointed In Illinois Dear Disappointed: Con- gratulations on your upcoming engagement. Your problem is unique because most of the let- ters I receive about engagement rings come from women who are disappointed that the stone is so Dear Abby: Over the weekend, while I was cleaning and reorganizing our bedroom, I found the engagement ring my boyfriend plans on proposing to me with. I didn’t know he was planning to ask the big ques- tion, and I’m thrilled that he is going to. I haven’t even hinted that I know anything is going on because I don’t want to ruin the surprise more than I already have. My problem is, I hate the ring he chose. It’s beautiful, but, Abby, it’s so big. I like dainty jewelry, small. However, if the size of the stone in the ring your boyfriend is giving you makes you uncom- fortable, your response — after an enthusiastic “YES!!!” — could be, “But, darling, this stone is so large we will have to hire an armed guard to accompany me if I wear it outside the house. Are you sure it’s wise for me to wear this every day? I would be very happy with something more modest, you know.” (It’s worth a try.) Dear Abby: I have always been too kind and polite. I give money I shouldn’t, say yes to favors I don’t want to do and keep my mouth shut in situations where I should speak up. My best friend once told me I shouldn’t say what she needed to hear, but only what she wanted to hear. includes putting myself, my needs and my decisions between yes and no first? — Looking Out For Number One Dear Looking Out: You and your therapist appear to have been doing some good work. Of course people who hear you say no or state your honest opinion are having trouble with it. That’s not the person you were. You are becoming a new person, someone with whom they are not used to dealing. Keep in mind that when someone asks you to do some- thing you would rather not do, you always have the right to refuse. And when you are pressured to change your opinion, what you should say is, “Intelligent minds can differ,” or, “I’m entitled to my opinion.” It’s the truth. I have been in therapy for two years now, and have finally reached the point where I’m learning to say no. I love that when I meet strangers, I can use the skills I’m learning and be more assertive. My friends and family are having a hard time with it. I broke up with the bestie because our relationship had been not only long, but also toxic and abusive. Other people I come in contact with now seem shocked if I say no or voice an opinion of my own. They then proceed to pressure me to change my mind, which makes me transform back into a mouse and comply so I won’t seem rude. How can I get them to under- stand — in a polite way — that I am changing for the better, which NEWS OF THE WEIRD Vulgar vanity plates banned in Maine New regulation aims to clean up the language on streets, highways By DAVID SHARP The Associated Press BANGOR, Maine — Removing the flipping obscenities from license plates on Maine’s roads and highways isn’t going to happen overnight, even though a law banning such profanities in a state where such regulation has been unusually lax went into effect Monday, Oct. 18. Currently, there are license plates with salty language including f-bombs, references to anatomy and sex acts, and general insults. One license plate says simply, “F—-Y0U” — except that on the plate, it’s plainly spelled out. Now, rule-making is getting underway to ensure the law protects First Amendment rights while getting rid of obscene language. The process, which includes public comment, could take between two to four months, Secretary of State Shenna Bellows said. Requests for so-called vanity license plates that are deemed to be poten- tially offensive will be on hold in the meantime. Eventually, the state will she didn’t understand begin recalling previously issued plates, likely this the extent of “really dis- turbing” license plates winter. before she was sworn in as “Rule-making will secretary of state earlier delay the process of active this year. removal of plates from the There have been law- road but will help us bal- ance the free speech rights suits over the issue in other states. of citizens and the public Last year, a federal interest of removing inap- propriate judge license ruled that plates,” she California said. couldn’t A enforce majority of a ban on states have vanity restrictions license on license plates it plate mes- considers sages that “offensive are con- to good sidered taste and profane, decency.” sexually The suggestive, California Maine Secretary of State racist, drug law was Shenna Bellows, who said that related, overly as many as 400 license plates politically broad, so may be recalled to get rid of objection- states must salty language able or reli- be careful giously to target offensive. license But Maine became the plates that are profane or “wild, wild, wild west obscene, or represent hate of vanity license plates” speech. when the state dropped In Maine, there are its review process in about 121,000 vanity 2015. “Our anything-goes license plates on the roads approach was unusual,” in a state with about 1.3 Bellows said. million residents. An esti- mated 400 offensive plates As a former executive could be subject to recall, director of the American officials said. Civil Liberties Union of Bellows said she’s Maine, Bellows under- stands the importance of looking at it this way: “If the First Amendment pro- you can’t say it on the 6 tections on free speech. o’clock news, it shouldn’t But she acknowledged be on a license plate.” “If you really want an offensive slogan on your car, then you can use a bumper sticker.” weather | Go to AccuWeather.com Robert F. Bukaty/The Associated Press, File Traffic approaches Maine Turnpike toll booths in Gardiner, Maine, in this Feb. 2011 file photo. A Maine law banning obscene license plates went into effect Monday, Oct. 18, 2021, but getting the foul language off the roads and highways won’t happen overnight. “The license plate is the property of the state,” she said. “If you really want an offensive slogan on your Astoria Longview 51/58 Kennewick 52/58 St. Helens 53/60 50/58 Portland Condon 53/61 FRI SAT SUN MON Cooler with heavy rain Cloudy with a little rain Cloudy, showers; breezy Cloudy with a few showers 52 35 50 40 52 31 Eugene 0 0 0 51/60 53 42 53 45 53 39 0 0 1 49 50 42 Comfort Index™ 10 Enterprise 0 48 50 36 Comfort Index™ 10 50 44 52 42 5 0 3 0 ALMANAC TUESDAY EXTREMES TEMPERATURES Baker City La Grande Elgin NATION (for the 48 contiguous states) High Tuesday Low Tuesday High: 92° Low: 2° Wettest: 1.67” 65° 20° 68° 26° 67° 27° PRECIPITATION (inches) Tuesday Month to date Normal month to date Year to date Normal year to date 0.00 0.04 0.34 3.62 7.20 0.00 0.07 0.81 7.45 12.81 0.00 0.19 1.07 16.60 17.94 HAY INFORMATION FRIDAY 70% SSW at 4 to 8 mph 3.4 0.06 RESERVOIR STORAGE (through midnight Wednesday) Phillips Reservoir Unity Reservoir Owyhee Reservoir McKay Reservoir Wallowa Lake Thief Valley Reservoir N.A. 10% of capacity 10% of capacity 20% of capacity 3% of capacity 0% of capacity STREAM FLOWS (through midnight Tuesday) Grande Ronde at Troy Thief Valley Reservoir near North Powder Burnt River near Unity Umatilla River near Gibbon Minam River at Minam Powder River near Richland OREGON Ontario Burns Brookings SUN & MOON THU. 7:17 a.m. 5:57 p.m. 6:39 p.m. 8:15 a.m. FRI. 7:18 a.m. 5:55 p.m. 7:03 p.m. 9:21 a.m. MOON PHASES 583 cfs 0 cfs 17 cfs 45 cfs 52 cfs 3 cfs Last Oct 28 New Nov 4 First Nov 11 50/61 51/60 Grants Pass Silver Lake Full Nov 19 Jordan Valley 52/57 Paisley 40/49 36/49 Frenchglen 50/52 Medford 52/65 51/59 40/51 Lakeview 43/49 McDermitt 46/53 RECREATION FORECAST FRIDAY SAT. Hi/Lo/W Hi/Lo/W 58/50/r 56/45/r 59/45/r 56/42/r 66/44/c 58/44/c 57/48/r 56/49/r 55/32/r 49/32/r 60/51/r 57/49/r 58/47/r 57/43/r 60/37/r 51/40/c 51/41/r 53/40/r 60/48/r 57/48/r 62/47/sh 63/46/r 58/48/r 53/45/r 59/41/r 56/42/c 55/43/r 53/43/r 51/37/r 49/36/c 63/46/sh 61/46/c 51/38/r 47/40/r 49/32/sh 45/37/r Grand View Arock 50/53 Klamath Falls Shown is Friday’s weather. Temperatures are Thursday night’s lows and Friday’s highs. City Astoria Bend Boise Brookings Burns Coos Bay Corvallis Council Elgin Eugene Hermiston Hood River Imnaha John Day Joseph Kennewick Klamath Falls Lakeview Diamond 49/52 Fields 49/59 51/57 Boise 55/66 49/59 Brookings 50/59 39/50 Chiloquin FRI. On Oct. 21, 1991, dry winds fanned a wildfi re in the Oakland, Calif., area. A wet spring, then a windy, hot fall causes the highest fi re danger on the West Coast. Sunrise Sunset Moonrise Moonset Beaver Marsh Juntura 46/55 39/55 34/49 Roseburg Ontario 54/62 Burns Brothers 48/55 Coos Bay Huntington 44/49 43/59 Oakridge 49/60 55/58 Seneca REGIONAL CITIES WEATHER HISTORY AGRICULTURAL INFO. Lowest relative humidity Afternoon wind Hours of sunshine Evapotranspiration Zapata, Texas Bodie State Park, Calif. Lander, Wyo. High: 68° Low: 20° Wettest: Trace Elkton Council 48/56 49/55 41/57 Bend Powers 50/56 45/49 John Day 45/58 Sisters Florence 51/58 Halfway Granite Baker City Redmond 50/56 51/60 Comfort Index takes into account how the weather will feel based on a combination of factors. A rating of 10 feels very comfortable while a rating of 0 feels very uncomfortable. Monument 45/55 50/58 Newport Enterprise 48/50 49/50 47/53 52/59 Corvallis 51/59 53 35 48/51 La Grande 49/56 51/58 Idanha Salem Cloudy with showers late La Grande Elgin Pendleton The Dalles 53/61 51/59 TONIGHT 0 53/57 50/57 Newberg Lewiston 55/58 Hood River Maupin Comfort Index™ 10 Forecasts and graphics provided by AccuWeather, Inc. ©2021 Walla Walla 55/63 Vancouver 51/59 TIllamook 48 56 34 Computer not running as fast as when it was new? Let us install lightning-fast solid state drive! Still running unsupported Windows 7? We’ll help you avoid critical issues by installing Windows 10! AROUND OREGON AND THE REGION 53/59 Baker City car, then you can use a bumper sticker.” FRI. City Lewiston Longview Meacham Medford Newport Olympia Ontario Pasco Pendleton Portland Powers Redmond Roseburg Salem Spokane The Dalles Ukiah Walla Walla SAT. Hi/Lo/W Hi/Lo/W 58/45/sh 59/45/sh 58/52/r 55/48/r 49/40/r 52/41/r 59/46/r 56/46/r 56/49/r 55/46/r 56/46/r 55/44/r 62/42/r 60/45/c 63/44/sh 62/45/c 57/46/sh 57/44/r 61/52/r 57/49/r 61/50/r 58/46/r 58/41/sh 55/40/r 60/50/r 56/49/r 59/51/r 57/47/r 52/41/sh 52/40/sh 61/48/r 57/46/r 48/38/r 49/36/r 57/46/sh 58/46/c Weather(W): s-sunny, pc-partly cloudy, c-cloudy, sh-showers, t-thunderstorms, r-rain, sf-snow fl urries, sn-snow, i-ice ANTHONY LAKES PHILLIPS LAKE Morning rain Heavy rain; cooler 39 24 48 35 MT. EMILY REC. BROWNLEE RES. Heavy rain; chilly Cooler with rain 45 35 58 40 EAGLE CAP WILD. EMIGRANT ST. PARK Periods of rain Heavy rain; cooler 41 26 44 34 WALLOWA LAKE MCKAY RESERVOIR Heavy rain; cooler Showers; cooler 51 37 56 45 THIEF VALLEY RES. RED BRIDGE ST. PARK Heavy rain; cooler Heavy rain; cooler 56 34 50 42