COFFEE BREAK
B6 — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD
SATuRDAY, SEpTEmBER 18, 2021
Couple wrestles with communication breakdowns
ception is spot-on. Sometimes, I
suspect she’s unwilling to accept
any answer that does not match
her own thinking. She comes from
a family where correcting each
other, even over the smallest thing,
is common. She’s an educator, so
in some ways, it’s part of her job.
My wife seems unable to
use alternative phrasing that is
less likely to trigger a defensive
response. When we have conflict
over this, it seems I am always
the one who has to give ground.
When I try to explain my feel-
ings, it only makes things worse.
When I choose to be more asser-
tive, it results in more escalation.
I am blessed with a spouse who is
Dear Abby: I love my wife
very much, but we are, unfortu-
nately, having a communication/
interpretation issue. She is inquis-
itive and asks a lot of questions. I
become defensive when I’m ques-
tioned. Sometimes I feel it shows
a lack of confidence or trust in
me. My wife says I am being too
sensitive.
There are times when I infer a
negative tone where there is none,
and others when I believe my per-
independent, strong-minded and
outspoken. How can I develop a
thicker skin so I won’t feel like I
am second-guessed at every turn?
When should I speak up? — Mis-
understood in Texas
Dear Misunderstood: NOW
would be a good time to speak up.
When you do, tell your wife —
the educator — that you feel sec-
ond-guessed at every turn, and it’s
time to enlist the help of a licensed
marriage and family therapist so
you two can improve your com-
munication skills. If she’s willing,
it could be helpful for your mar-
riage. If she isn’t, then go without
her to help you figure out whether
you really are “too sensitive.”
Dear Abby: My best friend,
whom I’ve known most of my life,
has a 7-year-old grandson. The
boy, “Cody,” is spoiled, rude and
makes obnoxious comments to
adults. They’ll make plans to visit
us on a weekend evening when my
wife and I want to chill out. While
they are here, Cody gets loaded up
on sugar, snoops through rooms
and picks up breakable objects
while watching us to see our reac-
tion. He also does calisthenics and
runs around while he’s here. He
makes snotty comments to us that
my friend encourages and thinks
are funny. As much as I love my
friend, how do I tell him that his
grandson is no longer welcome?
— In a Conundrum
Dear in a Conundrum: Has
it occurred to you that Cody may
have problems more serious than
a sugar buzz? The behavior you
describe can be symptoms of
ADHD and/or learning disabil-
ities. If Cody hasn’t been evalu-
ated by a medical professional,
he should be. If you truly love
this friend, suggest it and tell him
why. If he ends your relationship
because of it, you will no longer
be subjected to Cody’s unfortu-
nate behavior. On the other hand,
if my concern is on target, you
could change that boy’s life for the
better, because he doesn’t act out
only at your house.
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
Maine’s ‘Lobster Lady’ still going strong
the evidence has been
eaten.
Ben Tomkunas, 25,
caught the 21.3-pound fish
late at night in Coventry on
Aug. 21. It was longer than
3 feet.
Connecticut Fish and
Wildlife confirmed in a
Facebook post that the catch
was a white catfish and that
it easily broke the previous
state record for the species
of 12.7 pounds.
“We were just sitting
back and drinking a couple
of beers and next thing you
know, my reel just starts
screaming like I had a
30-pound striper on there,”
Tomkunas, of Coventry,
told the Hartford Courant.
Tomkunas’ friend, Chris
Braga, had a digital scale
and took a photo of the fish
coming in at the record-
breaking weight.
The International
Game Fish Association
has recorded the world
record for a white catfish
catch to be 19.3 pounds
for a fish caught in 2005 in
California.
White catfish are one of
several species of catfish in
Connecticut, and officials
said they scrutinized this
catch to confirm it was not
a channel catfish, which are
generally larger. Other spe-
cies of catfish, like blue cat-
fish or catfish found in Asia,
can dwarf the white catfish.
Tomkunas said he
intends to submit a claim
to the association to secure
the new world record.
But he also told the news-
paper that he gave the fish
to his grandfather the next
morning.
“It kind of got eaten,”
he said.
The Associated Press
ROCKLAND, Maine
— When Virginia Oliver
started trapping lobster
off Maine’s rocky coast,
World War II was more
than a decade in the future,
the electronic traffic signal
was a recent invention
and few women were har-
vesting lobsters.
Nearly a century later,
at age 101, she’s still doing
it. The oldest lobster
fisher in the state and pos-
sibly the oldest one in the
world, Oliver still faith-
fully tends to her traps off
Rockland, Maine, with her
78-year-old son Max.
Oliver started trapping
lobsters at age 8, and these
days she catches them
using a boat that once
belonged to her late hus-
band and bears her own
name, the “Virginia.” She
said she has no intention
to stop, but she is con-
cerned about the health of
Maine’s lobster population,
which she said is subject
to heavy fishing pressure
these days.
“I’ve done it all my life,
so I might as well keep
doing it,” Oliver said.
The lobster industry has
changed over the course
of Oliver’s many decades
on the water, and lob-
sters have grown from
a working class food to
a delicacy. The lobsters
fetched 28 cents a pound
on the docks when she first
starting trapping them;
now, it’s 15 times that.
Wire traps have replaced
her beloved old wooden
ones, which these days are
used as kitsch in seafood
restaurants.
Robert F. Bukaty/The Associated Press
Virginia Oliver, age 101, works as a sternman, measuring and banding lobsters on her son Max Oliver’s boat, Tuesday, Aug. 31, 2021, off Rock-
land, Maine. The state’s oldest lobster harvester has been doing it since before the onset of the Great Depression.
Other aspects, though,
are remarkably similar.
She’s still loading pogeys
— lobster-speak for men-
haden, a small fish — into
traps to lure the crusta-
ceans in. And she’s still
getting up long before
dawn to get on the boat
and do it.
She was destined for
this life, in some ways. Her
father was a lobster dealer,
starting around the turn of
the century, and instilled
a love of the business in
Oliver, who would join
him on trips.
Wayne Gray, a family
friend who lives nearby,
said Oliver had a brief scare
a couple of years ago when
a crab snipped her finger
and she had to get seven
stitches. She never even
considered hanging up her
lobster traps, though.
“The doctor admonished
weather
| Go to AccuWeather.com
her, said ‘Why are you out
there lobstering?’” Gray
said. “She said, ‘Because I
want to’.”
After all these years,
Oliver still gets excited
about a lobster dinner of
her own and typically fixes
one for herself about once a
week. And she has no plans
to quit lobstering any time
soon.
“I like doing it, I like
being along the water,” she
said. “And so I’m going to
keep on doing it just as long
as I can. “
White catfish catch
shatters state, and
maybe, world record
COVENTRY, Conn. —
A white catfish caught in
Connecticut last month has
smashed a state record and
could also be a world record
for the species — though
AROUND OREGON AND THE REGION
Astoria
Longview
51/61
Kennewick
53/64
St. Helens
53/65
54/65
53/63
55/68
56/66
52/66
Condon
SUN
MON
TUE
WED
Overcast,
showers around
Cloudy,
showers; cool
Cool with lots
of sun
Sunny
Pleasant with
some sun
39 56 32
63 30
68 37
72 36
Eugene
9
9
10
54/65
62 37
68 45
71 43
9
9
10
La Grande
0
44 56 42
Comfort Index™
Enterprise
4
0
0
40 50 39
Comfort Index™
3
69 46
67 42
5
10
10
ALMANAC
TEMPERATURES Baker City La Grande Elgin
NATION (for the 48 contiguous states)
High: 109°
Low: 26°
Wettest: 2.78”
66°
32°
68°
36°
73°
33°
PRECIPITATION (inches)
Thursday
Month to date
Normal month to date
Year to date
Normal year to date
0.00
0.24
0.24
3.35
6.66
0.00
0.17
0.32
6.71
11.65
0.00
0.04
0.50
15.83
16.41
HAY INFORMATION SUNDAY
60%
W at 6 to 12 mph
0.7
0.07
RESERVOIR STORAGE (through midnight Friday)
Phillips Reservoir
Unity Reservoir
Owyhee Reservoir
McKay Reservoir
Wallowa Lake
Thief Valley Reservoir
N.A.
13% of capacity
12% of capacity
34% of capacity
0% of capacity
0% of capacity
STREAM FLOWS (through midnight Thursday)
Grande Ronde at Troy
Thief Valley Reservoir near North Powder
Burnt River near Unity
Umatilla River near Gibbon
Minam River at Minam
Powder River near Richland
Ocotillo Wells, Calif.
Angel Fire, N.M.
Jacksonville, Fla.
OREGON
High: 84°
Low: 27°
Wettest: Trace
Medford
Redmond
Seaside
WEATHER HISTORY
AGRICULTURAL INFO.
Lowest relative humidity
Afternoon wind
Hours of sunshine
Evapotranspiration
54/63
On Sept. 18, 1984, the temperature soared
past 100 degrees in Sacramento, Calif.,
for the 38th time that summer. One year
later, Blythe and Palm Springs had midday
temperatures in the 60s with rain.
SUN & MOON
SAT.
Sunrise
Sunset
Moonrise
Moonset
6:35 a.m.
6:57 p.m.
6:30 p.m.
3:38 a.m.
SUN.
6:36 a.m.
6:55 p.m.
6:54 p.m.
4:50 a.m.
MOON PHASES
429 cfs
0 cfs
53 cfs
43 cfs
49 cfs
3 cfs
Full
Sep 20
Last
Sep 28
New
Oct 6
First
Oct 12
Brothers
50/60
41/56
Beaver Marsh
39/54
Roseburg
55/67
Burns
Jordan Valley
47/58
Paisley
37/58
Frenchglen
48/58
Klamath Falls
40/58
Hi/Lo/W
61/50/t
58/34/c
62/43/sh
60/50/sh
57/28/sh
64/49/sh
63/47/t
55/38/sh
53/42/sh
65/48/t
69/52/c
63/51/sh
56/45/sh
57/39/sh
51/38/sh
71/48/c
58/29/c
58/29/sh
Hi/Lo/W
67/49/pc
64/39/s
65/45/s
72/52/s
62/31/s
70/53/s
72/46/s
63/36/sh
62/37/pc
72/46/s
70/45/s
72/50/s
65/40/pc
64/40/s
58/35/s
70/44/s
70/35/s
67/35/s
Grand View
Arock
49/63
48/62
Lakeview
38/58
McDermitt
48/62
RECREATION FORECAST SUNDAY
REGIONAL CITIES
City
Astoria
Bend
Boise
Brookings
Burns
Coos Bay
Corvallis
Council
Elgin
Eugene
Hermiston
Hood River
Imnaha
John Day
Joseph
Kennewick
Klamath Falls
Lakeview
Diamond
47/59
50/62
Shown is Sunday’s weather. Temperatures are Saturday night’s lows and Sunday’s highs.
MON.
Boise
51/62
Fields
53/68
SUN.
49/63
Silver Lake
36/52
Medford
Brookings
Juntura
38/57
55/69
51/60
Ontario
51/64
42/57
Chiloquin
Grants Pass
Huntington
42/53
Bend
Coos Bay
43/55
50/61
Seneca
42/58
Oakridge
Council
39/56
48/57
40/58
Elkton
THURSDAY EXTREMES
High Thursday
Low Thursday
35/46
John Day
42/60
Sisters
Florence
Powers
41/56
Baker City
Redmond
51/59
53/60
Halfway
Granite
52/63
Newport
53/64
Comfort Index takes into account how the weather will feel based on a combination of factors. A rating of 10 feels
very comfortable while a rating of 0 feels very uncomfortable.
47/60
49/55
55/67
55/66
59 36
0
Corvallis
Enterprise
40/50
44/56
Monument
52/63
Idanha
Salem
TONIGHT
Comfort Index™
Elgin
42/53
La Grande
47/60
Maupin
Baker City
51/62
Pendleton
The Dalles
Portland
Newberg
53/63
51/62
Hood River
49/62
TIllamook
Lewiston
Walla Walla
50/71
Vancouver
Forecasts and graphics provided
by AccuWeather, Inc. ©2021
City
Lewiston
Longview
Meacham
Medford
Newport
Olympia
Ontario
Pasco
Pendleton
Portland
Powers
Redmond
Roseburg
Salem
Spokane
The Dalles
Ukiah
Walla Walla
SUN.
MON.
Hi/Lo/W
62/50/sh
64/52/t
55/42/sh
68/46/sh
59/47/t
63/48/t
64/43/sh
69/46/c
62/47/sh
66/54/t
63/48/sh
60/36/c
67/50/sh
67/51/t
60/42/c
68/51/c
52/32/sh
62/50/sh
Hi/Lo/W
69/47/pc
69/47/pc
60/33/pc
77/48/s
62/49/pc
67/45/pc
66/38/s
71/43/s
65/45/s
69/52/pc
74/50/s
65/35/s
73/49/s
70/51/s
62/44/pc
73/50/s
60/33/s
66/49/s
Weather(W): s-sunny, pc-partly cloudy, c-cloudy, sh-showers, t-thunderstorms, r-rain,
sf-snow fl urries, sn-snow, i-ice
ANTHONY LAKES
PHILLIPS LAKE
Snow showers
Showers; colder
31
26
48
31
MT. EMILY REC.
BROWNLEE RES.
Cold with showers
Cloudy, showers
44
36
59
41
EAGLE CAP WILD.
EMIGRANT ST. PARK
A few showers
Rainy times
40
24
48
30
WALLOWA LAKE
MCKAY RESERVOIR
Cloudy, showers
Showers around
51
38
61
44
THIEF VALLEY RES.
RED BRIDGE ST. PARK
Cloudy, showers
Cloudy, showers
56
32
56
42