8B — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD
THuRSDAY, JuLY 16, 2020
COFFEE BREAK
Mom’s ‘friends’ abandon her after third child is born
DEAR ABBY: I recently wel-
comed my third child, a baby
boy who was wanted and
planned. We are overjoyed. Our
two daughters are just under
10 years old. Over the years,
my social circle has consisted
mostly of the parents of my
daughters’ friends.
Abby, my news was met with
mixed reactions. Some were
thrilled for my pregnancy,
while others were shocked.
One woman even told me,
“I’m just not in that phase of
life anymore.”
After my son was born,
I didn’t get visits or even a
phone call from some of them.
I announced his birth on social
media and mailed out a beautiful
announcement, but he hasn’t
been acknowledged nor have I
been checked on.
I know he won’t really be
affected by this and I’m trying to
focus on the positives. We have
a big family on both sides, and
many people within our commu-
nity have warmly welcomed him.
But I have been a good friend
to these women, supported them
in their times of need and even
reached out during this pan-
demic to
check on
them in an
DEAR
effort to
reconnect.
ABBY
I’m so dis-
appointed.
What am I supposed to say to
these “ friends” when I run into
them again?
— NEW MOM AGAIN
DEAR MOM: When you
encounter them, be cordial.
Make polite conversation and
ask how they and their families
are doing. If they inquire, tell
them you and your family are
well. Then move on, recognizing
you are dealing with individuals
who are solely centered upon
themselves. Do not attempt to
revive a relationship with anyone
who cares so little about you
that they would treat you as they
have, but DO recognize how for-
tunate you are that you know not
to invest more of your time or
yourself in them.
DEAR ABBY: I divorced my
abusive ex-husband and am hap-
pily remarried. I have a son and
daughter from my first marriage.
They saw a lot of physical and
emotional abuse when they were
young. I stayed in the marriage
to keep the family together until I
realized my children were being
hurt in the process. My son wit-
nessed more of the abuse than
my daughter.
My son has constantly
brought up the past and has
never been able to make a decent
living. He’s married with three
children, and they have lived
with his mother-in-law for years.
I have apologized many times for
what happened in the past and
asked for forgiveness. I don’t
know what else I can do.
I always send birthday and
holiday money telling them that
I love them, but for some reason
they have stopped answering my
calls or responding to my texts.
I call them three or four times a
year. They used to call me when
they needed money, but now they
don’t call at all. Should I stop
sending birthday checks? They
missed Mother’s Day and my
heart is broken. I don’t know what
I’ve done wrong.
— PAYING FOR THE PAST
DEAR PAYING: You will
never know what you “did wrong”
unless one of your adult offspring
decides to tell you. I hope you
realize that you are being abused
again, this time by two pas-
sive-aggressive adults.
You are not the reason your son
lives with his mother-in-law. As
to your daughter, who knows her
reason for radio silence?
Please stop flogging yourself.
Start living your own life. Bind
up that broken heart and focus on
happiness with your new husband
because, as things stand, you’re
not going to find much with these
two.
Send cards if you must, but
omit the money. If you do, I’m
sorry to say you may hear from
them sooner.
Look out, Mars: Here we come with a fleet of spacecraft
By Marcia Dunn
Associated Press
CAPE CANAVERAL,
Fla. — Planet Earth is about
to invade Mars — big time.
The United States, China
and the United Arab Emir-
ates are sending unmanned
spacecraft to the red planet
in quick succession begin-
ning this week, in the most
sweeping effort yet to seek
signs of ancient microscopic
life while scouting out the
place for future astronauts.
The U.S. is dispatching
a six-wheeled rover the size
of a car, named Persever-
ance, to collect rock samples
that will be brought back to
Earth for analysis in about a
decade.
Each spacecraft will
travel more than 300 mil-
lion miles before reaching
Mars next February. It takes
at least six to seven months
for a spacecraft to loop out
beyond Earth’s orbit and
sync up with Mars’ more
distant orbit around the sun.
Scientists want to know
what Mars was like billions
of years ago when its rivers,
lakes and oceans may have
allowed simple, tiny organ-
isms to flourish before the
planet morphed into the
barren, wintry desert world
it is today.
“Trying to confirm that
life existed on another
planet, it’s a tall order. It
has a very high burden of
proof,” said Perseverance’s
project scientist, Ken Farley
of Caltech in Pasadena,
California.
A one-month window
when Mars and Earth are
in ideal alignment dictates
the timing of the launches
to minimize travel time and
fuel use. Such a window
opens once every 26
months.
Only the U.S. has suc-
cessfully put spacecraft
on Mars, doing it eight
times, beginning with the
twin Vikings in 1976. Two
NASA landers are now
operating there, InSight
and Curiosity. Six other
spacecraft are exploring
the planet from orbit: three
U.S., two European and one
from India.
Photo by J. Krohn/NASA via AP
Engineers in December 2019 monitor a driving test for the
Mars rover Perseverance in a clean room at the Jet Propul-
sion Laboratory in Pasadena, California. The robotic vehi-
cle is scheduled to launch July 30 and land in an ancient
river delta and lake.
The United Arab Emir-
ates and China are looking
to join the elite club.
The UAE spacecraft,
named Amal, which is
Arabic for Hope, is an
orbiter scheduled to rocket
away Thursday from Japan
on what will be the Arab
world’s first interplanetary
mission. The spacecraft was
built in partnership with
the University of Colorado
Boulder.
Controlled from Dubai,
the weather station will
strive for an exceptionally
high Martian orbit of 13,670
miles by 27,340 miles to
study the upper atmosphere
and monitor climate change.
China will launch its
rover and an orbiter some-
time around July 23. The
mission is named Tianwen,
or Questions for Heaven.
NASA is shooting for
a launch on July 30 from
Cape Canaveral.
Perseverance is set to
touch down in Jezero Crater,
an ancient river delta and
lake. China’s smaller rover
will aim for an easier, flatter
target.
To reach the surface,
both spacecraft will have to
plunge through Mars’ hazy
red skies in what has been
dubbed “seven minutes of
terror” — the most difficult
and riskiest part of putting
spacecraft on the planet.
Perseverance’s cameras
will shoot color video of the
rover’s descent, providing
humanity’s first look at a
parachute billowing open at
Mars, while microphones
capture the sounds.
Jezero Crater is full of
boulders, cliffs and sand
dunes, any one of which
could end Perseverance’s
mission. Brand-new guid-
ance and parachute-trig-
gering technology will help
steer the craft away from
hazards. Ground control-
lers will be helpless, given
the 10 minutes it takes radio
transmissions to travel
one-way between Earth and
Mars.
Jezero Crater is worth the
risks, according to scientists
who chose it over 60 other
potential sites.
Where there was water
— and Jezero was appar-
ently flush with it 3.5 bil-
lion years ago — there may
have been life, though it was
probably simple microbial
life. But those microbes may
have left telltale marks in
the sediment layers.
Perseverance will hunt
for rocks containing such
biological signatures. The
rover also will attempt to
produce oxygen from the
carbon dioxide in the Mar-
tian atmosphere. Extracted
oxygen could someday be
used by astronauts on Mars
for breathing as well as for
making rocket propellant.