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About Hillsboro independent. (Hillsboro, Washington County, Or.) 189?-1932 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 27, 1907)
RMEUMATISM CAN NOT DE .RUBDED AWAY OUJl BUIHSET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO INGS HERE AND TMthL SUM-1 Other re. Ujht a..r ura in ti.it- , lt night. ,J bachelor a IVib who I BClS the nrr tuna- u awfully rid,. Z I '" Ior rxsie. thn lb .did? fokcoaad Joh.let. ! Arer-sppaeed u lleva Hera KtMiUl Uor-aasia. 4 living (! A" Wi '"" Luh.bl.-Ih weeh'e Haeeer. "die Tbey , is So you think these calamity pro phet hurt business?" said the driunu.fr ,.. Inir.x hi.-nif tfli'K maie-uee in V itJ . . ..... B.Kim Kldg. 'Wall. I ah.iuM say . stranger, drawled t.r kMT Jaaon. "Just the other day Ulraiii Hnrdapple wa going prove uiy k tor yx t h . new suit of oh.tti.ii, out wnen ", r. liui n he beard that on of them thar pro- "llaa fire u,, iHX-' It b perfectly natural t rtib the spot tliat hurt, end when the rntisctes, nerves, j.iinti an I bouts, are thru!bin,r a.id twite-bin;? with the pain ol teneumaiism t le sulicrer i apt t turn U t.ie liniment tottIe, or some otnet external application, in an etiort t get relief front the disease, by producing vounr.cr-irrii.ii.ioa. oa t:ie iies:i. Such treatment Will quiet the pain tempo rarily, but can Lave clirct-t curative t-fftrt on the roal disease because it dots not rearli the ll.xxl, where the cause is 1 cated. Rheumatism is tuore than fit in dp it is noted and frounJed in tho Mood and can only t reaLnca ry constitutional treatment IT CA;.:Ui Ills UUliiw.u yvvi. Kheutuati.im is due t an excess of uric acid ia the Hood, brought about by the accumulation in the system cf refuse matter which tho natural avenues -f bodily waste, the Jiowels and Kidneys, hare failed tj carry off. This refuse Blatter, comin la contact with tho different acids of the body, forms uric acid which is absorbed iuto the Hood and distribute! 1 3 all parts of the tody, and Rheumatism pets possession of the system. The aches and pains are only symptoms, and though they may be scattered or relieved far a tim ty surface treatment, they will reappear tt the first exposure to cold or .1 . . .... . - r - .. . ... . i 1 .j : . 4 : . . -. . I. . .. .' , . 1 . .-, Tthiiml- tismtaa never be permanently cured while the circulatioa remains saturated hU mind. 8nld l' ouidut tnina or with liritatinr. rain-producin? uric acid poison. The disease will shift njH-iulIng nn.iiey for a milt of elotftes lr from muscle to muscle or joint to Joint, settlinj oa the nerves, causing I 1, cuhlnt wtr It over yeari, nflamraation and swelling end snch terribla pains that tho nervous systeir , ), rw konwl be d have to rusk ttw S oltea shattered, the luaKh undtrmlne.1. and perhars tae patient Wfcon-es 0u gut d.." c-IH-nr .p- clelormetl and crippled for l ie. S. K. S. thoronaly cleanses me I iocki anei renovates t!ie circulation t y neutralizing the acius and expelling all ijreign ualtcr lium the fy item. Jt waims and invigorates the blood so that instead of a weal;, sour stream, constantly deposit- in? acrid and corrosive matter la the mus- . . . . . cle-s, nerves, joints and bones, t Me Loeiy is ica nnd nourished by rich, health-sustaining blood which completely and permanently cures Rheumatism. S. S. S. 13 composed of both purifvinir and tonic propertie lust what ia needed in every case of Rheu tnatism. It contains no potash, alkali or other mineral ingredient, but ia made entirely of purifying, healing extracts and juices cl roots, aerDs anu Larks. If yoa are suffering from Rheumatism do not waste valuable tirao trrin to rub a blood disease awav. but betrin the use cf S. S. S. and write us about your case and our physicians will give you say information or adviwC ticsued free of charge and will send our special treatise oa Rheumatism. I TUE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, CA,A Itut how ,J (t? Stella-,,,,,, ,,111 be would .. ... . MtU . u out ot all of ten ... . ' "-ues- i tK cane. "I'll ..... Is tlw worm dear flrl new Id PURELY VEGETABLE i..... that the world was "On, owue ,Um, - v- ,icUU'n", j.i.-...'..-- , 4i. - 1 I.. - f 1 1 V. ..k. n -uil I RKU lltf (wt . . ivmllii to an enu in tait m .w uiueQ," Mr. AtWTh-rt 'uve" pon you hav 0n. I tlW1 'ou you e-ould not ,ffor(i one this ''" .Mm. Ardu, t Hid: dui uj band atru.-lt . t f luck wtuitiy Mra Atlumi..i--t! Mr Ardm.v-. lit broke his leg the next day lf,, fJ,kli ut sn aces dent policy that paji I w r.mmr. Now you may or may not know It. but tb confidence man of tip-top at- talmaests cultivates the control and expression of bis features with as tnucb cure as does the profiK.loual boaufy this for the reason tbnt his looks sre among his most valuuble . for ttie first stage In "turning a trick, woethrr this be done In a Broadway hotel or a down-town orllt-e building. Is for the operator to get a bold en the confidence of bis victim ty Impressing blm with his, the for mer's, frankness and honesty through the medium of bis sternly gaze, cheery mile, and sincerity of expression in Kneral. Hut "wlae" iRjde are not taken In by these things. Apart from all elae, those who have bad much to da with crimlunls whether mugged or unniugged will tell you that there Is such a thing as the "crook eye," which inevitably given Us owner sway. It Is, as I once besrd a clever detective put It, "an eye behind the eye" a some thing sinister peeping out from the blsnd sad child like gnze which the con" turns on bis proHMvtlve gull. Jotlan tlynt In Success Magazine. TkoM Dear KrUada. Nan Jack aremcd craiy laat night. II trltd to kins ma. I'an Ha certainly was craiy If ht thought any cSort oa bia part would b Mcdcd. iMeoMlble. "Parey, papa says you mustn't eome to em me any nor. "Why, Afgia, how could IT I'm al ready coming atven tiuits a week I" valaable Now. hiatotner Tbia aU'ak baa an old taatt about It. Waiter Sorry, air, but we can't help It, There have boen aeveral bur(larica ia tali neig hborhond, and at night we liave to put our porterhouse ateaka In the ale, you kaow. tier Mule rial. Mrs. Noohrlde Yes, deur, I waa mar ried laat mouth. I'd like you to call on me and see the pretty little flat I have. Miss Jellusae I've seen blia, dearl my HoMlrr V oidcr, Indiana claims anioog ita othar humaa peculiarities a 3 year-old boy who can read Shakspeare. Rut why aheuld ha read Rhakspoars and neglect honia talent Cleveland I'lain IValer. 'Minl ojoqa qi 0 (oi qj iiMoui II.. .. ''l pu ai, ,.'mjp U tit JM jo lpiia q) o uo!(.Ii.)t -u auoittjtnui i-nti.uaioj t) jo Mq.r, Airlblag ta Please. Servant girl No. -'8 was Inquiring Into bLs qualifications to become ber employer. He had answered five ques tions with apparent satisfaction, and bis bojies were running high. Then the fatal question: "How many chil dren have you?" "Two," be answered, reddening with bis sense of guilt "Nothing doing," wss the flippant re- sjionse. "I never enter a family where there are children." His strained patience snapped. lie seized her by the arm. "Sny," be whispered hoarsely; "coins with nie snd I'll throw the chil dren out of the window. Nay, more, I'll divorce my wife and marry you. Anything else that you want? Just mention It, and It shall be done." Chicago Inter Ocean. T-&a to be A ilaprf.l r,, Our bov j,..k annl satisfied wltQ anything und tb" . t - . .awrr. piace,- said Sir c'oruiow a--- fully. Let him alon. .nswl her bu band. "MehtM, it-s good sign, lou can't tell but hst he" K up ro lu mm n' ti, .... ..r that cause w ...i-nt r- 1 ill !.'- ' a sensation u lH)lltl(''-WaD,Dgton mar. Ilia ralSI'e". "You told me ., aald with s pout. three montha e. their marriage, "that you Inten.t.vl to die bachelor. "To all I ..Jt Duruoses, o sadly replied. "I b' "V(h1 up to D" declaration. I am known now merely as my wife's husband" Judge. A nisparaarlos r"""- "Who dUMvred Anierlcs!" asked the teacher. 'Columbus discovered It." answered Wlnaln ( owullmeat. o7 wuose father ll under auai-ie.ou The beautiful girl shook her head In of ucraft; "but he didn't know how to I.lttle Millie tirmidsd, what mnkes a mail always give a woman a diamond eiiKiiKenient ring? lirundfatlier The woman. I'lck-Me- Vp. Elasldafe4. While visiting the south recently a traveler chanced uiion a resident of a sleepy hamlet In Alabama. "Are you a native of this town?" ask ed the traveler. ' "Am I a what?" languidly asked the one addessed. "Are you a native of the town" , "What's that?" "I asked you whether you wert a nntlve of the place?" At this juncture there appeared at the open door of the oabln the man's wife, tall, sallow and gaunt. After a careful survey of the questioner, she said : "Ain't you got no sense, mil? He means was yo' llvln' bean when you was born, or wss yo' born before yo' begun llvln' ben a. Now answer him." Success. Jake aad the Apple. It was during an arithmetic class In a country school that Jake Hoggs wss called uion to solve a problem. "Now, Jake," began the teacher, "If yon have two apples and your little brother took one, how many would you have left?" "I'd Just like to see him try tsklng one," said Jake, shaking his flat "Well," ssld the teacher, "we'll put It this way. Suppose yon gave him one." "Yes; but I wouldn't do It," said Jake. "Just supposing yon did, what would remain?" said the weary teacher. A big fool, that's what," replied Jake. Judge. King l'.lwrd ia quite all Inchea short- i er than Queen Aleiandra, the negative. "No," she said after a moment's delib eration, "I can never uo, never be your wife. Itut I'll tell you whut I will do. Just to show you that there Is no hard feeling on my pnrt, I will be pres ent when you nuirry some other girl and bombard you with my shoes for luck." Ah, here was an opportunity. Quick as a flush the young in an responded : "I'lense don't. If you must throw old shoes borrow them." "And why not use my own?" "Because they are so small we could never detect thom from the rice." Flattery won. The benutlful girl de cided then and there that the young man was altogether too clever for any other girl, so she reversed her decision and the cards are out. get the money out of It." Washington Star Where Thej ShoaU Ca for Sam mar. Kaloonkec.rs Har Harbor. Card players LHmI beach. Flour merchauts Kye- IVposltors Hed Bank. Wrestlers Freehold. I'lgeon fanciers Dover. Pugilists Hangor. Quarryuien Rockaway. Judge, Baalneaa la Baelaeaa. Aliisri Near. "We would like you to go on our personally conducted tours," suld the ticket agent "Don't care about It," replied the meek little man behind the mountain of ba gunge. "Hut wouldn't you like to know that some one was always keeping an eye on you?" , "Oh, don't worry about that My wife Is going along." saspr. " ! it ALVOUOU 1 PE rur AVaorlelli PrrrorafKm fat slirJlailiKj thf Food ami itvnt Un Die SiomacHs atklBowIsi Promofrs DistlonfKfrtfJ nf-ssanrl Ri'siXontalnim-ittw lrnuiituMarphine noraril. Nor Narcotic. lent W- I (wr. 1 AieTwft IWmf v forf uTRfln Hon . Sour Smnwh.PUrriisH VVorniJ f r'ulsn .rrvrrul ncss ani Lo ssorSmp. rtrSnaW Sujnamrr of KHV YCMK. Tor Infanta and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears tho Signature of M aT I Exact Copy cf Wrappar- In Use For Over Thirty Years GMTOEM Vaa eaaraaa eaaraav. aw vaaa aeev. "I Good aad Itad. was walking down the street this morning when I ran across a horseshoe and It brought me axxxl luck." "I ran across one yeaterday while In my auto and It brought me a punc ture." Cleveland Tlaln Denier. A Raae Hit. It. F. I don't see why I ml Mod so ninny files to-day. Cuptnin N. (. Humph! I gues it was because you caught s,, many high ball yesterday ! A Car. "My head always aches Just In one place; do you know anything that would le good for It?" "Sure, keep awny from that place." Houston Post. "There re six ihlrts down la the book and yon have only sent back five." "Yes, on got lost, sir." "Well, but you have charged m for six." "Oh, yes, It wns washed before It wss lost." Pele Mele. Personal Eiprrlraee. "Do you think women ought to vote?" . "I don't cars whether they vote or not," answered Mf. Meek ton rather testily. "Hut Id tie Interests of har mony they ought not to lie encour aged to make speeches." Washing-ton Star. ery fond of The Rrrak-Dnara Sort. Jig ley m-euis to be wslklng." "Not at all. You know, , , bought one of those rhenp motor Mri they're manufacturing " "Y.4. that's what I ni..sn"cath ollc Standard and Times. P.!! Important Dli eoTfrf, nar mve v.,n i. siin-e I saw you last? , I Msgs-studying hunisn nature J'.lgga What hare you learned? Dlggs How little I know doing What lie W,.4 , Kow es, sai.l the prominent cit',en with 111 com eaM pride -traliu run Into this ton d!,r .,W'"ty "And how many run out'" fS stranger anxiously Inquired.-j',,,, ' Ml.a.drr.ta... He (very fond of d.s)M. ., d.m t you think ymi ought to h,. bvtelllgent .mm., ,umt the ho"M ' would protect y,M1, in1 WU" ttt Che (candidate for matei Mr. Muffin., this I. w m 7?K Usted B;o uuue Illus- Wr Ra Apsroves af It. "My doctor says I must take sev eral successlTt doep bresths three or four times i 4ty." , "That's s good thing." "What makes you think so?" "Recause It will g'e somebody else chance to break Into the conversa tion." Cleveland Tlsln Dealer. Ha la Woadarlaar. "In a few weeks," murmured he, "I shall be fir sway In the Alps. What do yon think of that?" "I think It will be delightful," re plied she, and he Is still trying to fig ure out Just what she meant Louis ville Courier Journal. tader Proteat. "Your hnsbtnd should tske more ex ercise." "He alwayt walks home from the races." Honiton Tost Vrlrr- "Gracious : Mrlalmed the swelter ing tourist "I, thli the kind of weath er you have in fununer?" "Certainly not," replied the native; "w'hy. we have half dor.en different kinds every day." Philadelphia Press. OlS-Tlai, VI"" ' Tebaeea. It wag a sixteenth century parwnn w'io wrote; "in these dnUs, the tsk ln In of thsinioke of the Indian herbe 0lle.l tobaeo by an Instrument formed s title laden, whereby It passeth from the month into the bed and stom ' h, g Kntll tk(,n ,,p and used In Inland, auairmt itewmes and some n"'r dlonsea ingendred In the longes nd Inward partes. nd n,,t wlthout ef f(H'-" Itarnab, itich In "The Hoiiesv " of the Age" complained, however, of Hie money tvrnt In toH " tobacco, estimating t ,t something like f.100, 3" Hl,!fV,s-5v t year In England, "all , '..ke," Hs admits the Kneral tn,f tn,t smoking Is good for "me allmems "hut Bnt but that those that' do k 11 ftP"t "" much sut.jwj t0 all these Infirmities as those nT nothing at all to do with It- Wne' man quits turnlnf around to loo t i pr.tty girt bs Is old enough to the nndertltfr job- Aftr reading Iot of PtOTlt-,n'dl-rln tmiinoBiaii wonder why peo P' Mver Qla. EOOF LIT I IS SEW YOB at Haaarlapa Naar Ara Ktlaaslvalf I .ad la tka Mrpoll. Now that summer baa evine In esr est New Yorkers have ercbed them selves on the housetops. A few years ago the roof was a haven of rest and comfort for the sweltering and pant lug mar In aumnier. To-day. clad with vines and beautiful batigirur lanterns. It Is the rcn.Uxvous of the wealthy who have eome to tbe city for a day or two. the playground of the nilddl claas pleasure-aeeker, tbe Mecca of smart diners, tbe refuge of Invalids and the nursery for babies. On tbe roof garden, swinging mldwsy between street and starlit sky, Cupid moves bl pawns In tbe game which never grow old. New Yorkers sre uot eiactly treading air, but It Isn't long slm-e they swskened to the enormous poaalblll ties of roof life during hot westber. Oentle sephyra, which could never force their way through narrow streets to stoops crowded with tired human Ity. flit gsyly along tbe chimney tope sad elevator hoods, and there you will find all New Yorkers In tbe summer nights. If a person desires to study chsrltabls work be Is hoisted by eleva tor to a roof numery of a hospital for babies, there to flud a perfectly equipped llfe-aaving ststlon for best prostated youngsters. Would he study sociology on the East side, he mounts to tbe roof of a settlement house or public school, there to And music, children dancing or playing games and and tired wage-earners resting. For glimpse of the famed life on the Rlalto be must take a flower hung elevator to theater In mid air and sip his cool lng drink away above the bright lights and cesseless roar of the Great White Way. If be would dine among the elect another elevator carries him to hotel roof which has been touched by the modern fairy wand of gold and transformed Into a veritable garden of thousand delights. If he Is Invited to spend an evening at friend's borne he finds himself mounting heaven ward once more this time to an apartment house roof. Put the roof Ufa In New York Is not confined to the dwellers In apartments. Even the big hotels and restaurants are affected by the open air spirit and the roof gar dens of several great hostel rles sre running full blast A METROPOLITAN SINGER. Eplaada la Wklek Tm fata aad 800 Slaepara Took Part. The time wss 3 a. ni. ; the place, tbe megaphonlc archway opening on the rectangular area of a large Kroadway apartment house not many blocks north of 72d street; the characters, 3 sleep ers and two cats, says the New York Sun. Thomas Cat, In the full tide of ado lescent vigor, advances determinedly but stealthily to the trystlng pl-tce, the mouthpiece of the area. Knowing full well the exact spot where his voice will be of fullest value, and seeing the lam bent green of his Elvlrs's eyes, he blsxes within himself thus: "Ah, ha I What care I for those un- romantic sleepers sbove! My h.lvira listens; she shall hear my song or love 1" 1 Contrary to current opinion that fe line serenades begin In low and p'Hin tlve tones tentatively, Thomas lieg.iu, Ith superb vocal confldem-e, wltu a noble fortissimo, bsrltoue-alto in qjnl Ity. The timbre, re-enforced by echo ing walls, as mightily mswullnj, with yet a tar In It It rent the proverbially stn:y n.r oi litbt Three hundred sieeii-, iuoiu- selves possible feeders of quint domes tic pets, turned on their pillows -and akened not Itut hold! One, an appreclator of aerial vibrations, took notice of the song. Can It be," he thought, "that ne5ioei- ad baby downstairs who mukes this ailing enormity of sound?' An approving comment of Klvira on Thomas' first stsnxa settled his doubt. There was no auger In tbe man's soul. He listened. Surely no mere cat ever sang thus bo- fore. After the second stansa the man felt, even as Elvira, that an encore was In order. Being a muslclsn, he thought of all the great singers be bsd besrd and of their limitations Taniagno, with the Immortal C In alt; Scalchl of many voices and others who are nearer In memory. This est was the greatest Inger of them all, of truly metropoli tan, Carusonlc utterance. Other sonse were sung, with a breath control, a phrasing, a mastery of nu ance, that were Inimitable. What breadth, what sweep, whst sonority, svhst unveiled promise of continuity! Then It struck the one swske thst times had changed. What had happen ed to tbe other sleepers? No historic bootjacks or colonlsl relics hurtled from opened windows. No reckless hair brushes or hastily discarded bottles of frsgrant essence swirled through the lr. All silent the windows! Suddenly the msn remembered that this wss New York ; thst these sUepers were merely trslned, not unepprecis tlve; thst tbe tolerated nolsemskers of tbe city hsd bsrdeued their sometime tender ears so thst nothing mattered. Hut be he was a musician as well ss critic snd tolersnt, not bees use of training, for he was newly entered upon the glories of New York, but be cause it was a metropolitan singer wuo suitg. snd sung from the heart. In no dying wsll did Thomns finish his serenade, but with a grand endence f romantic sweep and compelling pow er. The music eeseed ; the other sleep ers still slept, but tbe man who woke kept thinking. Bird Faai Haw tka Rasa la Paris. Parisians owe their latest aw moot ! original fancy lu fans to the gallantry , ur a well-known dramatist. One of b!a i friends, Counteas , famous Krt- ! woman sn.l capital shot sent blm s j pheasant of unusually beautiful col oring. This prlr.e bird the playwright, who Is sUo something of sn artist. took to a chic ranmaser wihisv w Jewelled creations of gause and pre cious lace complete the court attire of many a royal princess. I'ndcr his workmen's skillful bsnds tbe coun:es' gorgeous trophy wss faauloued Into a unique fan which, when shut, looks like a pbessant la repotie sod when opened like a pheasant In full flight The wings of tbe bird form the twe sides, while the central part Is made of tbs body snd tall. The pheasaut's exquisitely shaded hesd Is used as a handle. After It was flulahed tbe dramatist sent It to the huntress. When she ex hibited it to ber friends, tbey were so delighted with It that they doclired they would carry bird fans and no oth ers this season. So now the most re cherche balls and evening receptions show s bewildering array of birds of psrsdlse snd peacocks with spread feathers flaunting their gaudy plumnge agslnat a background of light colored decollete gowns. itatfcsra wi'.l a Mrs. w'nsloVa Soothta Syrup ih heal remedv to uaa lot their cbUUrsa luring Iha Uatklug pariwU. A Skada at Hagrrt. "Are you happier now that you own your own home?" asked the solicitous friend. "Of course," answered Mr. Meek ton, "there Is proud satisfaction In bar ing my ewn place. Itut occasionally I can't help longing for tbe time when my wife kicked to the landlord for re pairs instead of coming to nie." Wash ington Star. at. Vitna raae and all Nerrona DlaeaMa a-rmsnaollr cured by lr. Klias'a lr-4 rv. Keatarer. Hand for THh.h iztrlftl b.Htle and iraallae. Dr. H. 11. klia.. La., Hi ArcS BU, fr.lla.,1'4. T 1 i ne ofth oong v r . e n air There are four verses. Verse 1. Ayer'i Hair Vigor makes the hair row. Versc2. Ay er 's Hair Vigor stops falling- hair. Verse 3. Ayer's Hair Vigor cures dandruff. Verse 4. Ayer's Hair Vigor always re stores color fo gray hair. Tbe chorus is sucg by millions. lUfof aata Arar'l Burr VW.r t das ar ttMa M4 vary pr Jv Sut TcusunaaJ to as Utm VIor iU sit aatr ais.il, iartd tn avary . I fcava li rf mfi M t.r lbs mlua .'-a) us. kl. tiaiaaoaii, JtaaarS, N J. A ataaa r0 , Lawau, Iyer's IUKVPaJHLLA. PIUS, cneajtv KTotu Peeallar Daaaaae Salt. In s certain tows in Indians s man brourht suit against a hardware company for $10,000 damagea. He claimed that a rope be had bought to commit auicide with broke and thus foiled his plans. Af ter the rope broke, be said, be could not get up coursgs enough to try it over. Judge. ' ladlaaa aad War Palat. The Indians have s tradition thst tells how the custom of painting their faces originated. A certain big chief while hunting deer was chased by lion and fell exhausted, calling upon the Big Hear, which Indians believe wss tbe grandfather of uiau, to save blm. Ths Ulg Rear beard aad went to tbe man's s sal stance, scratching hit foot and sprinkling the blood over blm. No snlmnl will eat hear or taxte bis blood, and wtieu the lion ssielled It he turned away. Hut In doing so fie scratched some of the blood off tbe In dlsn's face with bis claw by accident, When he found himself unhurt, tbs Indian wss so thankful that he let the blood dry on his face. With tbe marks of the lion's claws this gave tbe effect of stripes, snd ever sfterwsrd when going on bunting expedition! for msn or beast the Indian pslnted bis faoe In stripes as a charm against danger. j MOWAHD K. BURTON. A Marer arl t'kamlat. lad.llla, Cttliiradu hpe.iiuen prl. eai l.ul.l. Silver, Iad, II : Ooiil. WW.r, 7v, ukl. ; Zing or Copper. II. 4'raalrta Ir.ia. Mulling enraiua-a aod Rill artrellat aenton ai.pllmtlua. lontrol ana I'ra nlre work a.illcllad. AMtlarauuat Carbouata ftiae Uuual aauS. Shake Into Year Shoes Allen's Foot are. A powder. It makes ttrhf or new shoea feel ssnv. It Is a certain cure lor wttacing. callous and hot, tired, ai-hlng feet, I bolder an uniKKiaia. rriee i i ni cam jra maiiea ritr-a. j JeUoy, ixow York. Addraas Alien B. Olouted, Werth tka Price. An English jury hss awarded II,- 2S0 damages to a woman who before an accident could reach high C when she sang, but after It, could get no further than B flst From tMs It would seem as If they thought .e- poor girl hsd been damaged. But this Is doubtful. s a genersl thing reaching high C Is moon like what Dr. Johnson ssld about dx's wslklng on his bind legs: "It Is not dons well, but you are surprised to And It dons at all." Boston Herald. Uettlaa; Praclloe. "I counted seven girls taking dnwn my sermon In shorthand this morn ing," said a suburban minister. "I sm getting tired of this business of turn ing church Into school. It Is a dese cration of the Sabbath and of the sane- uary, and It gets worse year by year. When tbe thing first begun, I ad mit that I wss flattered. I thought tbe solitary shorthand writer In my front pew wss a reporter. I took un usual pslns that morning, snd I searched all tbe newspspers the next day. In vain, of course. The short hand writer was merely a student of stenography, using me to practice on. "Students of stenography should practice on actors and on lecturers, but no that would cost money. Nothing suits them but ministers, and every Sunday, all over our land, young men and women, with their pads and foun tain pens, go to church solely to Im prove their shorthand." ENGRAVING Write Us PLATES TOR PRINTING HICKS-CM ATTEN Portland Oregon n n?l. the ist co, Stc - afOUo". - i.ta ?.l.r0?otUero;r- A.WCI Urease- .tl1 M Business coLLEGL. TENTH AND MORRISON STREETS eoTiAND, oatoosi A. P. ARMSTPtONO, LL. ., PRINCIPAL Quality la aur aaotte. Wa aducata far auoeaaa. and aaad aach atndont to a position wh.a eoaa- pmtmnt man? mora sail for help than wa oaa meet. Individual lnatruetion (mures rapid proa- All modem matasda at Wsokkaaplac ara taught; alao rapid aaleulattoria, eorrsspondaaee. aommerclal law, ofBoa work, eta. Cftartlar la our shorthand aasr. rapid, legiblo. Beautiful eataloarua. buainaaa forma and penmanship froa. C. Gee Wo Ths wall kanwa rallahla CHINESE Root sad ficrb DOCTOR fsm nadfl Ufa tAxiAy sf rnnfsi akitrt hstrlta, anr ta thsvl mttsly i isHrovrs mil ! arl. Inu In it world b! woatelar lul rvUlSSsalM. No Merrurva Toieiom or Drut Ustf-He Curr Wilhout Opfrttitn, f Without tho Arf of a Knit II Kiiirantped in I'nrft l aiinrrtl. Aithw,, yajnS( Tnrntl. KliottnittitBrn. Nrwu"HM. Nrrmi lttibt.it1, 8 ooisnh, I, i sir, Kutnoy Iron blew stl-o I.osit Mosul, tni WMkiwn aud All Hrt nt Imsbssss A SURE CANCER CURE Just Received tram feklnf, Ihlna bale. Sure and Reliable. IT ton ark srt.nn ki imTTttur. HKLAVS AUK DANOKKollH. COtNNLl.TATKl.N I'lVlilJ Xf roa oaannt eall. write forirmptow ht.nk and elroae Inr Inol.wa 4 .-etc. in .Inmi-. TI1K O . o I'HINKhK Mf.l.li'INr CO 1S2 1-2 ff'irat St., I'or. MorrtMn. I'nrllanU, Oragoa. Pleaaa Mantlf Thla P.per , N. U. nm. 3-or irilK.N wrltlne to arlvertlaars plaaae tf Biianllow this paper. H11L3L MILITARY ACADEMY 1 A hoarding and day school for young men snd hovs. Accredited to Hisnlor.l. Berkeley, Cornell, A inherit and all ttaia universities and SKrli'tiliuial college. The principal baa bad is year.' eiparlence In r.irilan.l. Make rcervatlona now. ) or llluitraied catalogue and oiber literature addreaa J. W. HILL, M. D.( Principal and Proprietor, PORTLAND, OREGON They're Worth Climbing For Preferred Stock Jellies, Jama and Preserves, in glass, come to the home table ai wholeiome, delicioua, and sparkling ss thoie "done" by mother herself snd without the labor snd overhearing process of eajraa rookingi without worrying of covers that don't fit and I Jan that won t seal) without ths Ion of cans snd fruit J through breakage and spoiling. It Is economy to use Preferred Stock Canned Goods ?ekea Wherever tee Baal are Sreera They really are lust as fine in quality as snv preiervea. ielliei or jams ran be. There limply cannot be anything te inr nnle tha heat n materials ara n.. .nl fk.v . m out uoin rreat. modern "preiervinc kitchtni"bvexnrrt cooks. Btji mnd iris need the mut ix htttitmt Preferred Stock at jcur Crtcrr'i j in B. a. ttwra wk.iu.1. Rmm-.. tjod t-t im no, rrm rr . V a. W. L. DOUGLAS S3.00 & S3.50 shoes SW-SMOfS SOSJ tvrSJT SS6SSBFS) o , m. THS FAMILV. Ar ALL. PUmiii VaO Reward iTrZrJ lifj" -r l.T.uB-5fktf ,W "on1" ,hn "wo,, termor. pl. wealUM vll Ul!e, .?it.' "'V' ""'' " h,-n, n'' SL IIUL. 1 .VT. "d 'perlor aeertri anailtlee. Tbe aaUetlo. the laathe,3 otw I ! of the ab.w. aad every Set ill of the m.kinf t. loohJdTfu.rby killed abo.ai.kera. who receive Ibe hl(liM wares raid la tea sho, t.d...t7 a.d ,ho wnTka.aa.hi; e.., fTe.iM .i i i. a a yna mm my large raetoriaa at Hrnektoa Uaas ttLli ?7 T" hW "''""T w Konelse .br..r. m.da.o3 weald thea .ndaretand why they hold their abapa. at btar '