AMERICANS CRY OUT FOR BARBERS HANCOCK DESCENDENTS ENLIST IN THE SERVICE Kan Bernardino, Cal.— Five great-great grande h I I <1 r i* n o f French Tonsorial Artists Don’t Course I didn't want none o’ that sweet spirits o’ vl’lets, so I says 'Non, non.’ John Hancock, signer of the Know How to Clip Hair Hi* forgot the sacred memory o' Lafay­ Declaration of Independence, ette an’ the spirits of '7*1 right there have Joined Uncle Sam’s army or Shave Necks. an' gave me a cussln’ In French. I service from Ibis city. The men didn't know whut It wus, hut It sound­ are brothers, the fifth to Join be­ ed like hot stuff ing Dr. A. K. Hancock, who has “ I remembered one word I thought'»! received n commission ns first get me «ait that plaee an’ says 'Oomby- lieutenant In the dental section. enT* That started another riot, hut The others ure Heuford Ilnn- finally the fat guy allowed It was *Cnt- cock, W aller Clyde Hancock, Soldier Boy T e ll» of Sad Experience fronk.' That's about eighty cents real Leslie Hancock und Alvin J. In Parle— Smelled Like a Soap money, hut I paid It an’ got out after u Hancock. struggle with thut nightshirt they put Counter When French Barber There are several cousins of onto me. Got Through With Him. the five brothers, also Hancocks “ First look I had at that haircut was and descendants of John Han­ Field Headquarters, American Army In a store window. Kay, that guy’d cock, In the selective druft con­ tingents from Kan Bernardino. In Fruucw.- Tide la a special appeal to sort o’ chopped nwuy the frlng«*s round The Hancock family helped to harhera and It cornea straight from tho my ears an’ tho back rt’ my neck, hut build Kan Bernardino In the fif­ Itarracka and billots o f tlio boys over he'd left about half the hair there, look­ here. Every hair of their beads erlea in’ sort o' grayish, an' then he hadn’t ties. out for the clltipera and neck ahuve touched It none till he got up top, so that they left buck home and will uot there wus a gray ring an’ then a black ring. The gray ring looked like a bo comforted. mangy ruyuse. When I took my Htet- PUTS “PEP” INTO CHICKENS The American aoldler «Imply cannot hoii off I found he’d trimmed the front underatand tho French Imrlter and It off an’ pasted It down with that smelly Vaccination, aa Advocated by the Uni­ doean’ t look na If be ever would learn versity of California, Seema to siuff till I looked like the picture o’ how. When ho gets Ida hair cut he Be Success. some hoy violinist. wanta It cut abort, he wanta Ida neck "That was a swell layout. When I ahaved, he doean't want little lovelock*» Pomona, Cal.— Vaccination of chick­ got hack to my outfit the gang asked left hanging over Ida eyea and he me was I the feller that sings love ens, advocated by a University of doean't want "a lot o' muck rubbed on." 1 songs at that Folly Iii-rgulr vaudeville California poultry expert, und tried out Add to that the dllllculty of telling the place In Paris an' the sergeant tells me here by Henry Boon on his 500 hens. Frenchman all thorn* thing.*» and the In­ not to let none of them rough soldiers Is a rernurkuble bit o f Hooverlsm, ac­ herent helpleaaneaa of a man In a bur- Insult me, hut to stick 'em with my cording to Boon, who has reported that ber'a chair, and you have u truly tragic hatpin. Tln-n they offered to pny me his hens now scratch so energetically flltuatlon. j five cents apiece to let ’em dip the cor­ for worms thut he has to feed them far He Looked Like a “ Teddy Bear." ners o f their handkerchiefs In my hair less than formerly. The poultry association here also Here la tin* tale of a youngster In when they wns goln' out to see their the (pinrterninater'a corpa, who drlvcM girls. It was all like that. I ain't hud advocates vaccination, asserting It pre­ one o f the tmeka. Ilia ahuggy head no French haircuts since. Hay, ’don't vents disease, causes the fowls to lay waa mute evidence of Ida curncutncaa. you think you could get some bathers more eggs und gives them an astonish­ “ There ain't a barber In our outllt," over here that know enough to shave ing amount o f “ pep” to scratch for a living. lie aald, " ho by the time I got up to u feller's neck?” I'arla I looked like n Teddy bear. First thing I did waa to aak one of them John Arina copa where can I get an American haircut, lb* made out to tell me about a place on a boulevard an' I made him tell It to a coacher an' the coacher drove me there. That'* the only way In Purls make a John Arms tell n coacher— then you can't get toaL "W ell, I walked up three flights to reach that barber shop. I never seen no American barber shop that wasn't on tin* first floor, t'p came a big fat guy an' «hook bands an' took my Ktet- non an' tln-n took me Into a big room, an* It really was full up with Ameri­ can barber rhalrs, I begun to feel at home, specially when I stretched out In one o f theta chairs with my feet on the rest. Itlght away, though, a little Frenchman conies up an' ties n big apron around my neck an" puts m.v arm« In It. A fter that It weren't no use— that apron strangled me when­ ever I trbsl to move or open my mouth. “ Well, this guy says something, s o I says 'Haircut,' an' he coines back 'Alrcoot? Ah. coupcr lea cheveux.' I knew enough to say ‘Wee, wee,' nn’ we started. Hi* didn’t have no clip­ pers. nn’ he kept nibblin' with a pair o f nail scissors I guess. I didn’t know ttie French for 'short' and there weren't no real mirror there like there ought to he, so I sat tight an' hoped for the best. Pretty soon he discovered that my hnlr wns dry; If he'd been drlvln' Wire entanglements such ns these soldiers ure making nre used by the a truek for two weeks su'd his been dry, an' after some talk that I couldn't French with good results In places whf re posts cannot well he set up. LONG LOCKS THE FASHION WIRE ENTANGLEMENTS USED BY THE FRENCH get—course I said 'wee' to he polite— all o f a sudden he dumps a whole pint o f some kind of enu de cologne onto my liend. Smelled Like a Soap Counter. “ It smelled like the sonp counter at n drug store. When 1 revived he’d rubbed It all In. nn' say, I went around with that smell for days. Couldn't get It out. The hunch held their noses when they seen me. "This barber went right on Jabber­ ing an’ me saying ‘Wee, wee,’ even a f­ ter that dirty trick he done ine, when all o f a sudden lie hands tno n bottle full of that cologne an’ says 'Dees fronk.' I figured out that meant the bottle cost $2 an' he’d been Hellin’ me one In French an' I not known It. TOWN SPROUTS OVER NIGHT Modern Mining Town Springs Up Sud­ denly In Coal Region In Kentucky. Knoxville, Tenn.— Like towns bntlt In the West during the wild gold fever rush o f the days o f '49, n model mining town Ims grown up over night In the center of tin* virgin field In Harlan and Letcher counties, Kentucky. Klxteen hundred houses will bo com­ pleted within fifteen months, sny otll- clnls of tho United States Coal nnd Coke company, subsidiary of the Unit­ ed Klntes Kteel corporation, which Is behind tho project. At present ICO eight-room houses nre under construction. A fter these art* completed the building of the oth­ ers will begin. Forty-eight million feet of lumber altogether will be used. A total o f 250,000,000 feet o f lumber wns bought at n cost o f approximately were marching over the Carpathians In three columns, nnd the royal govern­ Take Jonescu, Roumanian Statesman, ment had transferred Its cnpltnl to Jassy. Whereupon M. Jonescu tele- Almost Forgot Important grnphed: Advice. Jassy 5920. Nov. 27, 1910. 12:40.— Zurich, Switzerland. — Statesmen Urgent. “ Excellency Voplcka, American min­ send queer telegrams, even at critical times. And while busy foreign offices ister, Bucharest: 1 forgot to tell you are revealing the private Intercourse that In the cellar o f my house there of kaisers and czars, the Bucharest nre several bottles o f Rhine wine. Even Lumlnu has pried Into noumanlan If you have to break Into the palnce, I archives to tell an anxious world what beg you to take the wine nnd drink It Take Jonescu telegraphed In a terse to my health. Again n thousand thanks midnight telegram to Charles J. Vo- “T A K E JONESCU.” plcka, minister o f the United States to Koumnnln. It was n rrltlonl hour for An amiable disposition Is a good let­ Boiimimla, for the German Invaders ter o f Introduction. TE LLS VOPICKA TO GET WINE construction of the 1,600 houses Is completed. It will be o f brick nnd will cost between $100,000 and $125,- 000 . An Orator. Howell— Front all accounts I take It that Rowell Is a very eloquent speak­ er. Powell— Y es; I understand that hls w ife Is Influenced by what he says when be Is talking In bis sleep. Have an Early Sunday. In Heligoland the Sabbath begins at six o'clock on Saturday evening, when the church bells arc rung, and censes on the following day at the same hour. EXEMPTS ONLY 1 OUT OF 20 Draft Boards' Decisions In Industrial Cases Usually Upheld by President Wilson. Washington.— Only one In twenty nppenls to President Wilson for draft exemption on Industrial grounds tins been decided In fnvor of the applicant. It wns said nt the provost ntnrshnl general's office. In other ensos the president has ratified the Judgment of district boards that the applicant was not Indispensable to a necessary war Industry. About eight thousand np­ penls have been received, but only a small proportion decided. Hold Your Temper. Material for Wooden Shoe*. Get ntad If you must, but don’t fly For the stylo o f wooden shoes ended off the handle. Is the advise o f a sage. sabots, basswood Is mostly used, but When you express yourself others see willow Is preferred. Poplar, birch, wnl- what’s In you, nnd ns a rule see less nut nnd beech nre nlso used to some than they thought wns there; but If $ 100 , 000 . extent In their manufacture. you are silent you have them guessing, A temporary commlssnry building, and tho chances are that they wlU 240 feet long by 00 wide. Is also now Thought for Today. think there's more In you than there being erected. The permanent com­ Tho greut man Is he who does not really Is— which will be greatly to your missary will be constructed after the lose hls child's heart.— Mencius. advantage. WASHINGTON IN LEAD ’ BRANDED AS MYTH Favorable Hapert on Dairy Products in Htorage Market for Christmas Mother Never Really Carried Market Basket, It Is Declared. Poultry Much Improved. Tacoma, Wash.— Taking the lead in Before Daye of Telephone the production o f apples for 1917, the Even Housewife Seldom Went to the state department o f agriculture reports Grocery or the Butcher Shop. the whole number o f carloads at 19,- 815. In some sections the yields are A voice of protest rises In the East. overrunning earlier estimates. Scar- There, as elsewhere, sundry lecturers city^of boxes, shortage o f labor and have been talking to women’s clubs limited shipping facilities at times about the high cost o f living. Said seemed alarming, but where proper ' one o f them : "Housewives could reduce the cost storage facilities were provided the crop was secured with a minimum o f of food If they would market In per­ loss. Varieties show a production as son. Too many market by telephone.” follows, in carloads; Winesaps, 4087; I This Is a typical remark. “ Our mothers and our grandmoth­ Rome Beauty, 1815; Jonathan, 3329; Newtown, 737; E Sopus Spitz, 1486; ers,” continued the lecturer, “ went Delicious, 855; Wageness, 443; A r­ personally to the grocer and the j butcher. They saw what they bought. kansas, 255; other varities, 6826. Other fruits shipped were 2112 car­ I And they used to carry It home with loads o f peaches, 1465 carloads o f j them.” The conclusion Is obvious, says the pears besides those used by the fruit product factories. Cherries, prunes, Indianapolis News. Our mothers and plum, apricots, strawberries and other our grandmothers, paying these dally small fruits showed an aggregate of visits to the grocer anil butcher, were able to buy seasonable products— and 965 carloads. Some plants are already reporting the best o f the products— at lowest shortage o f stock and they w ill not be I prices. They made their own selec- able to fill their orders. This, says 1 tlons; they picked out what they the department, should encourage all wanted. growers to conserve every apple and A woman took Issue with this state- not allow any to go to waste in the ' meat. Others followed. This argu­ orchards, packing sheds or eleswhere, ment, they said, has gone undisputed because there is a good market value | long enough. As a matter of fact, our in them, and as a food product they | mothers und grandmothers did very should be saved. little marketing In person. The tele- Fruits and vegetables are in good | phone In their day was not used, to demand for the holiday trade. I be sure. There were few telephones Poultry is having a good sale. | to be used. But 30 years ago— and Dressed turkeys are quoted at 30 cents. even la more recent times— the gro- cer's boy called daily, recited some ! new items of stock, jogged the pa- I tron's memory with a few questions regarding the quantity o f potatoes, sugar, flour and salt on hand, took the j customer’s order and departed. Moth­ Wheat— Bulk basis fo r No. 1 grade: er saw the goods fo r the first time Hard white — Bluestem, Early Bart, i when the grocer’s boy, later In the Allen, Galgalus, Martin Amber, $2.05. j day, delivered them. Soft w hite— Palouse bluestem, forty­ And In grandmother’s day, the worn- fold, W hite Valley, Gold Coin, W hite j en protesters declared, four-fifths of Russian, $2.03. W hite club— L ittle ! the marketing was done by sending club, Jenkins club, white hybrids, Johnny or Mary to the grocer or the Sonor, $2.01. Red Walla Walla— Red | butcher. And many of us who are Russian, red hybrids, Jones fife, Cop- something over thirty and not yet pei, $1.98. No. 2 grade, 3c less. No. turned sixty, regardless of sex, can 3 grade, 6c less; other grades handled find without effort, in the depths of by sample. memory, personal evidence to substan­ Flour— Patents, $10. tiate this claim. How many times M illfeed— Spot mill prices: Bran, were we brought complainlngly in $33 per ton; shorts, $36; middlings, $46; rolled barley, $60@62; rolled I from play to “ go to the grocer’s?” And at the tender age of seven or oats, $62. Corn— Whole, $84 per ton; cracked, eight or nine, did we do much select­ ing when we thus filled the household $85. Hay— Buying prices: Eastern Ore­ order? Very little, as we recall it. gon timothy, $25