ì 8h« H a d Heard of One. "Whoever raw a perfect man?" aaked an ovangellst at a revival meet In*. “ There la no auch thing. Every man haa III» fault., plenty of them." Of course, no one had ever seen a perfect man, and coneeriueully the atatoment of the revivalist was re ceived with silence. Thu revivalist continued: "Whoever saw a perfect woman?" At this Juncture a tall, thin woman arose. “ Do you moan to say, madam,” the evaugellst asked, "that you have seen a perfect woman?” "Well, I can't Just say that 1 have seen her," the woman replied, "but 1 have hoard a great deal about her— my hustmnd's first wife.”—Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph. Pro hibition Attitude In the Senate. One reason for the remarkable prog rate that prohibition Is making can be found in the attitude of men who ■ themselves take a tolerant attitude toward the use of liquor, but have been Impressed by the wreck which In wrought by alcohol all around them, j Typical of this In a statement made | by Benator Smith of Georgia when j announcing that he was going to vote In favor of prohibition for Washing ton; "With me opposition to the use of, spirituous and Intoxicating drink has been a gradual growth. When I leave myself free to think about It and rea ltze the skeletons found In almost ev ery home as a result of Its use, I have M o t o r c y c le s reached the plat e where 1 am willing never to have it on my table any j $40 a n a U p more, although I enjoy a glass of wine W r i t * fur lint A o f r e b u ilt H *rU » y - Take care of your health and wealth myself; and I arn willing in my state i O avW lN m a. In d ia n a . K *c « la lo r« . K tc . Garlield Tea and hope In my state this next sum Ma»U*y * U a v id a o n B e rv tc e C « n l * r will tuku c a re ^ f you. fo r th e N o r t h went. Ijirir<*at e x r iu - promotes healdr mer to help make It absolutely d ry."! a iv e <leah*m o f M o torcycle*« In N . W . — From Collier’s Weekly for February . MOTOMCTCtl A tV M IT CO INC A Perfect Day. 2VW F o u rth Ht. I'o rtlam l. O re leaning against the aft rail of an 3rd. East 10th street car one morning Coated tongue, vertigo and constipa-1 the temperature was below zero, WHEN 8HIPPING PRODUCE when wan a big fellow In a fur lined overcoat lion are relieved by Garfield Tea. a fur cap. As the car proceeded TRY US and down townward It, of course, became G a y Life In Brooklyn. W . .p .t it ili. Jammed with humanity. Ulris finally This, remarks the Pittsburgh Post, crowded in among the men on the Is how a Brooklynite has spent the 36 EUS. BUTTER. back platform. The man In the fur years of his life: POULTRY it i cap smiled and then, across the crisp We are 36 years of age, and this Is Portland. O r. DKLSSEO MEATS zerolc air, wafted the whistled notes bow we have spent our time: of "A Perfect Day." One year buttoning our collar. “ Listen to that guy whistle ‘A Per Two years tying our necktie. fect Day,* ” remarked a half frozen Seven years waiting In barber C L i t n v,m|- poH‘ - Be<,#- back platformer. "I don't know wheth shops. I f Poultry, Butter, F.gg* er he's whistling It us a compliment 411 and Farm Produce Four years looking at punk musical to his furs or to the fact that there comedies. to th e O b i Iteltah le K v » rd lr» g h ouae w it h e reeord o f 46 y e a r« o f S f iu a r r D ra lln ira , a n d are ladles on the back platform."— Six months sleeping. be a e e u m J o f T O P M A R K F T P R I C E S . Indianapolis Ncwa. Nine years dodging bill collectors. F. M . C R O N K H IT E Two years waiting for trains. 4 M 7 F ro n t S tre e t P o r t la n d . O r e g o n Three years waiting for our wife to Did that itching keep get dressed. Two years chewing tough beefsteak. you aw ake last night? Four years looking for Jobs. Six months working. And how can you expect to sleep ( lancera H a b it a a n d c h r o n ic diat*aaea o f tonight uuless you do«ometblng to re < #oé U* r * e v e ry d e a r r ip tio n a n d k in d . 1 Eczema and other 10 C E N T “C A S C A R E T 8 " T u m o re h a v e c u re d th o u a a n d a o f p eo p le lieve the trouble? In the laat 12 y c a ra b y the uac o f itching skin troubles don’t often heal A|«*r»<l«cilla IF B IL IO U S OR C 0 8 T IV E K w liu rn . X R a y . F le e t H e C ú r R ise u rn a Uatn iiut It Is surprising how re n la . F ig h t e , lia k **o v m a . V i b r a themselves, K r serna ( a ta r r h tor». M a g n e t ic W a v e a . O to ñ e . quickly Kcslnol Ointment heals sick For 8 lck Headache, S ou r Stomach, A n pyb jaia P a u t a . 1 >iet, A d j u it o w n t a , M a n skins. S lu g g ia h L iv e r and Bowela— T h e y ip u la tio n « . M a a a a g e an«) H ath a. lIcnnorrlMikla Almost dally we hear from a skin Consultation free W rit« work while you sleep. Aathnsa O íala* tea DR. W t. M A LFO R Y. sufferer who says “ Reslnol Ointment U n g h ia fiiJO -6 H e a d w a y Hldg. stopped my itching at once and I got Furred Tongue, Bad Taste, Indiges dlaraa«. P o r t la n d . • - O re go n the first good night's sleep I had bad tion, Sallow Skin and Miserable Head In weeks. Now my skin Is well." Res aches come from a torpid liver and lnol Ointment is sold by all druggists. clogged bowels, which cause your ” C. B . ” M I N E R S & CO. stomach to become filled with undi UNIVERSAL REPAIR and MACHINE SHOP Thales of Miletus. gested food, which sours and ferments AITOMSIlt ■ISAiaiMQ A ll IIM IIIIM . The first scientific thinker was like garbage In a swill barrel. That's ! I . I . CM HITS AMO SLIIAS t U I 0 I T I A I I , M IO O I. Thales of Miletus, born about 636 B. the first step to untold misery—indi C. lie was the first to attempt a logi gestion, foul gases, bad breath, yellow solution of material phenomena skin, mental fears, everything that Is HIDES, PELTS, CASCARAIBARK, cal without resorting to mythological rep horrible and nauseating. A Cascaret WOOL AND MOHAIR. resentation. In other words, Thales tonight will give your constipated h i wul si m i m unit for prices mu skippMg tajs was the first man. so far as we know, bowels a thorough cleansing and T he h . F. M ortom C o . on.; sunn, *« to try to find out the actual truth con straighten you out by morning. They cerning the world we live In, its orl-1 work while you sleep— a 10-cent box O rioom V u l c a n iz in g C o m p a n y gin, constitution and destiny.—Ex from your druggist will keep you feel iw iv w t to U 3 to SS7 H u r n . ld a Ht., P o rt , change. ing good for months. I _____________________ land. Ur*. ta rrM t Tiro It v p a ir P la n t W. L. D O U G L A S “ T H E S H O E T H A T H O L D S I TS S H A P E ” $ 3 .5 0 $ 4 $ 4 .5 0 $ 5 $6 $7 & $8 $3 . L. Douglas name and the retail pride is stamped on the bot tom o f all »liors at the factory. The value is guaranteed and the wearer protected against high price* for inferior «hoes. The , retail price* are the tame everywhere. They co*t no more in San Francisco than they do in New York. They are always worth the | price paid for them. W ‘ I 'he quality o f W . L. DougLa-. product is guaranteed by more 4 than 40 year* experience in making fine shoes. The smart itylc* are die traders in the Fashion Centres o f America. Tlicy are made in a wrll-cuuipped factor/ at Brockton, Mast., by the highest paid, skilled shoemakers, under the direction and supervision o f experienced men, oil working with an fumest determination to make die best shoes for the price that money s ' can buy. /! A s k y o u r » h o * ile n le r f o r W . I - D o u g la s s h o e «. I f h e ra n - n o t s u p p ly yo u w u h th e k in d y o u w a n t, t a k e n o o t h e r m a k e . W r it e f o r In te r e s t in g b o o k le t e x p la in in g h o w t o g e t s h o e , o f th e h l g h e . t »tu n d a r d o f q u a lit y f o r t h e p r ic e , » 7 r e tu r n m a il, p o s r t ta a g e I f r e e . S e c o n d -H a n d M a c h in e r y b o u g h t, «old a n d v x rh a n g « *d ; e n g i n e « , holler«. M iw m ill« . etc. J K . M a r t i n Co.. K3 U t 8 L . l'o r !la m i. Sen«! fo r S t o c k L i s t a n d p rioca Machinery T H IC K , G L O S S Y H A IR FR EE FROM DANDRUFF G lr ls l T r y It! H a i r gets s ft, flu ffy and beautiful— Get a 25 cent bottle of Danderlne. ...... - • If you care for heavy hair that glis F o r th e ir g o o d p art« . P a r t « at h a lf p rice . W e tens with beauty and Is radiant with can d u p lic a t e m o a t a n y p a rt. W e h a v e w r e c k e d life; has an Incomparable softness and o v e r 100 d iffe r e n t m a k e « o f c a m o f re c e n t date. I f Is fluffy and lustrous, try Danderlne. In need o f a n y w r it e to A u t o W r e c k in g C o.. ID Just one application doubles the N o r t h B r o a d w a y . P o r t la n d . O r e g o n . beauty f your hair, besides 1 Imme dissolves every particle of L E A R N A T R A D E . G a « T r a c t o r a n d A u t o diately You can not have nice m o b ile m en are In d e m a n d W e a n * g i v i n g a c o m dandruff. p le te co u ra e In b o t h fo r the p r ic e o f o n e tu itio n , heavy, healthy hair if vou have dan f o r a a b o rt tim e o n ly . F a r g e d a * « n o w g r a d u a t This destructive scurf robs the in g a n d h a v e ro o m fo r fe w m o re m en. C a t a lo g druff. a n d d e ta il« free. lioNpfeiH» Trek S c J mw U. 206 A HjwtkwBr hair of its lustre, its strength and Its P o r t la n d , O r e g o n . very life, and If not overcome It pro- j duces a feverishness and It hing of F R E D P. G O R IN , Patenl Aitorney._ the scalp; the hair roots famish, loos O r g a n i s e r ari'l Ih -v e lo p e r. I ' l U n t , n rc u re ri o r K * * en and die; then the hair falls out lt*fun<l«>l. K R E K . T o y X - lt a y P la t a ; i h o w i e v e ry fast. Surely get a 25-ccnt bottle of t»>ne in y o u r t«»ly r ig h t t h r o u g h y o u r c lo t h in g . S u i t * . 7UI. 701 A . 7 0 18. 701C. C a n t r a l b ld g .. S e a t tle Knowlton's Danderlne from -ny drug store and Just try It. W E W R E C K A U T O M O B IL E S S T U D Y lw o k k « » | iin g . s h o r t h a n d , t e le g r a p h y . »aleenian«hi|>. K n g lia h h ra n rh e » . at a n a r r m i n e d •choiii, w rite , o r p h o n . M a in 600 f o r r a ta ln g u e ; g r a d u a t e * g u a r a n t c s l p o sitio n » . Il e h n k e - W a lk e r B u n in ra ii ( o l l r g r , 167 4 th S tre e t, n e a r M o rrin o n . P o rtla n tl, O r e g o n . Skln-’er. No doubt Jenkins married Lobelia Genoff for love. At any rate beauty can't have bail anything to do with It Her faett would have ripened a cheese or stopped a train. One day, soon after Ills marriage, Jenkins met a pal and timidly asked him whnt he thought of Lobelia. “ Help! Don't ask m e!” gasped the pal. "Beauty Is only skin deep, your honor!” remonstrated Jenkins, stiffly. "Skin 'er, then, dear chap!” advised the pal. "For heaven’s sake, skin ’e r !"— Exchange. Iff ** _ Fran ci« HAVE DARK HAIR LISTEN TO THIS! :! SAYS CORNS LIFT ii RIGHT OUT NOW E v e r y N iq h t For Constipation HeaddcheJndujestion.etc. E I fe P. S N. a U. Granulated Eyelids, Sore PILLS Eyes ï . II, 1917. g and N o Sure For a disordered liver, take Garfield Tea, the Herb laxative. AH druggists. A Pattern. Mrs. Simpson had taken her little daughter out to tea with her, and dur ing the meal was horrified to see the child trying to force a thick piece of bread Into a very small pocket. “ Why, Marion,” she said in shocked surprise, "what on earth are you do ing?" V e r y Puzzling. "That’s all right, mother,” her small Eddie, who had always attended a daughter assured her. "I'm just tak Baptist Sunday school, was taken on ing this slice back to nursie for a pat a visit to Sunday school at a Metho tern.”— Exchange. dist church. "Mamma, how is this?” he said. "I thought you said this was a Mefodlst Sunday school.” "So it Is, my dear.” "W ell, but. mamma, the lesson was all about John the Baptist. « You corn-pestered men ami women' need suffer no longer. Wear the shoes A KMT /.ÜCT10N PARGAINS that nearly killed you before, says It 2Sua thiR Cincinnati authority, because a Uniforms küi * w l«S ’r 1 rfiti 3.$:» • Frfolvers few drops of freezonc applied directly 1.7S * Rptg.Cot M art 1.13 '* Sh*m Team Naroctrël.&S vp Poncho« . T* : on a tender, aching corn or callus, Hartmrkt . .15 “ Saddles . . 100’ stops soreness at once and soon the 200 M aitiin r G ant w Ith two million cartridges. Cannons, I to 100 pounder*, with shell for sea corn or hardened callus loosens so it •ml land. Fr«« c ir c u la r -1917 Cyclopedia cal- can be lifted out, root and all, with alog. 4.’S pp. illu«., ready In M ay. Mailed 50c. out pain. B in n a rw a n , SOI B roa dw ay, N a w Y o rk A small bottle of freezone costs very little at any drug store, but will positively take off every hard or soft corn or callus. This should be tried, Q o r Q Q as it is inexpensive and is said not to irritate the surrounding skin. If your druggist hasn’t any freezone tell him to get a small bottle for you from Ills wholesale drug house. It Is fine stuff and acts like a charm every time. ir a n d r e t h T h e Injured One. "It would seem,” said the tourist, “ that you Arkansas people would be quicker to resent the slurs and sneer ing jokes about yourselves that are constantly being published in the papers?" “ W ell," replied Mr. Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge, Ark., ‘I’ve noticed that when you fling a rock into a pack of dogs the one that hollers is the one that got hit.”—Kansas City Star. Eye* inflamed by expo- iure to Sun, Dust and Wind uickly relieved by MuriiM yeUemedy. N o Smarting, just Eye Comfort. A t Y ou r D ruggiit’ i 50c per Bottle. Marine Eye SalvsinTubei25c. ForBsaksllbeCyeFreeatk Druggists or Msrlse Eye Remedy C s., Chicago Nobody can Tell when you Darken Gray, Faded Hair with Sage Tea. Grandmother kept her hair beauti fully darkened, glossy and attractive with a brew of Sage Tea and Sulphur. Whenever her hair took on that dull, faded or streaked appearance, this simple mixture was applied with won derful effect. By asking at any drug store for "W yeth’s Sage and Sulphur Compound," you will get a large bot tle of this old-time recipe, improved by the addition of other Ingredients, all ready to use, for about 50 cents. This simple mixture can be depended upon to restore natural color and beauty to the hair. A well-known downtown druggist says everybody uses Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Compound now because It darkens so naturally and evenly that nobody can tell It has been ap plied—It's so easy to use, too. You simply dampen a comb or soft brush and draw It through your hair, taking one strand at a time. By morning the gray hair disappears; after an other application or two. It is restored to Its natural color and looks glossy, soft and beautiful. This preparation is a delightful toilet requisite. It Is not intended for the cure, mitigation or prevention of disease. !' , » — L 'n ' ^ Boys’ Shoe« Best in the World L O O K F O R W . L Douglas nam e and the retail price •tam ped on the bottom . $3.00 $2.50 ft $2.00 d W VV. . F L I O o u g l a a S h o e C o . , P r e s id e n t ° IM S s p a r k H t , K r w r k t o n , M a e * . He used a pebble in his day* to keep his mouth moist — WE use IGLEYS Without Operation In th » N u r t h w iw l. C o u n t r y aarvte a a • c *c la it y . U a a I'a r o a l I'u a l. a £ 8 Rwg&%M S a v e M o n e y b y W e a r i n g W . L . D o u g la s sh o e s. F o r s a le b y o v e r 9 0 0 0 s h o e d e a le r s . T h e Beat K n o w n S h o e s in th e W o r l d . "I'M ' W R IG L E Y 5 gives US a w h o le so m e , an tiseptic, refreshing confection to take the place of the cave man’s pebble. W e help teeth, breath, appetite, d ig e stio n and d e lic io u sly soothe mouth and throat with this welcome sweetmeat. The Wrigley Spearmen want to aend you their Book of Gum-ption. Send a postal for it today, Wm. Wrigley Jr. Co., 732 Keener Building, Chicago. The Flavor Lasts! 732 I f you have a sick cow— or one that Is not thriving and producing as she should, why not break away from the worry and uncertainty right now— get a package of Kow-Kure. the great cow medicine, from your druggist or feed dealer and prove for yourself that it has no equal in the treatment o* most cow ailments. On thousands of farms Kow-Kure guards the herd against the ravages of Abortion. Barreness, Retained After birth. Milk Fever. Scouring, Bunches, etc. You don’t need to use Kow-Kure on faith; a trial will show decided, visible improve- menL Put It to a test— invest today in a 50c or J1.00 package. Send for our free treatise, "The Home Cow Doctor." D A IR Y A S S O C IA T IO N C O - L rn .Io n v llle . V t SOU R, A C ID S T O M A C H S , G A S E S OR IN D IG E S T IO N A n tic ip a te s Them . "M y husband is very devoted; he anticipates my every wish.” "So does my husband mine; when Eac h “P ape's D la p e p s in " D ig e s ts 3000 ever he thinks I am going to ask him g r a in s food, ending all stom ach for something he lights out.”—Boston m ise ry in five minutes. Transcript. Time it! In fi minutes all stom ach distress will go. No indigestion, heartburn, sourness or belching of gas. acid, or eructations of undigested food, no dizziness, bloating, foul breath or headache. Pape’s Dlapepsin Is noted for Its speed In regulating upset stomachs It is the surest, quickest stomach rem edy in the whole world and besides It Is harmless. Put an end to stomach trouble forever by getting a large ftfty-cent case of Pape’s Dlapepsin from any drug store. You realize In five minutes how needless It is to suf fer from Indigestion, dyspepsia or any stomach disorder. It's the quickest, surest and most harmless stomach doctor in the world. V f { I.l t j V A B S O R B IN E S » “ tradì MARK RfG.U-S.PAT. 0YF. Bursal Enlargements, Thickened. Swollen Tissues, Curbs, Filled Tendons, Sore- ness from Bruises or Strains; Reduce* «top* Lamene**, allay* pain. D o e* not blitter, remove the hair or lay up the horse. «2.00 a bottle at druggists or delivered. B o o k 1 M fr e e . A B S O R B I N E , J R ., for mankind— an antiseptic liniment for bruises, cuts, wounds, strains, painful, swollen veins or glands. I t heals and soothe*. « 1.00 a bottle at dnig- gists or postpaid. W ill tell you more if you write. Made in the U. S. A . by W F. YOL'NG, P.D.F., 401 Tempi* St.. Sprmgfisld, Hass.