fîi# Bahamas.
The Bahamas bar» no descendant*
bow of tba Indiana whom C olum bus
found there. They were ca rrie d aw ay
by the S p an lard a to w ork In m lnea
and pearl fisheries elsew here, w hen
they w ere n o t ru th le ss ly e x term in ated .
Of th e w h ite p o p u latio n m any a re th e
d e sc e n d a n ts of th e L o y alists of G eor­
g ia and South C aro lin a who fled h ith ­
e r w hen th e U n ited S ta te s becam e In­
d e p e n d e n t T h e b la c k s’ speech p re­
s e n ts one sp ecially cu rio u s fe a tu re :
they ex ch an g e th e ir vs and ws, ex­
a c tly as th e L o n d o n er did w hen Mr.
W eller In sisted upon spelling h is
n am e w ith a "W e."
and
BELLS
P ro te sta n t C h u rc h e s In Rom e.
T h e re a re now 14 P ro te s ta n t c h u rc l
b u ild in g s In R om e: T h re e E n g ltsl
E piscopal, one
P re sb y te ria n , fw<
M ethodist, fo u r B ap tist, one W alden
slan, one G erm an L u th e ra n , and ont
of th e F re e Ita lia n church.
WISE YOUNGSTER AN EXPERT
It’s Pettit's Eye Salve
th a t g iv e s in s ta n t re lie f to eyes; irri­ G a r ru lo u s Y o u n g M a n S u r e H e K n e w
ta te d fro m d e st, h e a t, sun o r wind.
F r e s h O y s t e r s but D id n ’t R e c o g ­
All d ru g g ists o r H ow ard B ros., Buffalo,
nize R u b b e r O n es.
N. Y.
__________________
M anners
vs.
M an ne rism .
T h e re ’s a v ast difference b etw een
m a n n e rs an d m an n erism s. F o r In­
sta n c e , m a n n e rs ta k e s Its soup so ftly
an d q uietly, w hile m an n erism g arg les
It. M anners say s: “ P arse th e b u tta h ,
p le a s e ;" w hile m an n erism b ites a
ch u n k o u t of a piece of b read an d
s tu tte rs : “ Slip m e th e g rease, will
y o u ?”—D e tro it F re e P ress.
VALUE OF PINEAPPLE JU ICE.
D e lig h tfu l D r in k Is N o w to B e H a d
In C o n v e n ie n t F o r m .
T h e g a rru lo u s young m a n
who
th in k s he “know s It all," an d som e
m o re b esides, sto o d In fro n t of th e
re s ta u ra n t w indow.
"F in e Jar o f o y ste rs you h a v e In
th e re ,” h e com m ented.
“ Yes," resp o n d ed th e c o rp u le n t pro­
p rieto r, who w as sta n d in g In th e door­
way.
"So plum p and fresh-looking. W hen
It com es to te llin g a fre sh o y ste r by
Its a p p e a ra n c e , I'm th e c an d y .”
“R eg u lar ex p e rt, e h ? ”
“You bet!
T h ey say o y ste rs a re
no t ru n n in g good th is y ear, and yet
th o se In t h - t Jar look th e sa m e as
th o se you had In th e w indow tw o
y e a rs ago w hen o y ste rs w ere p le n ti­
ful.”
And th e re s ta u ra n t p ro p rie to r’s fea­
tu re s relaxed Into a p le a sa n t sm ile.
“T hey are the sam e,” was the quiet
response. "Those are rubber oysters,
for show only.”
W OMAN
G IV E S
LAND
W ORTH
%2r
000 F O R A $3 V I O L I N .
_________
T he ro a rin g and sh rie k in g of th e
tem pest, th e th u n d e r of th e w aves,
M rs. L lg h t n e r of P a ris , Mo., D e fra u d e d th at Jarred th e w hole fab ric w ith a
shock like e a rth q u a k e , m ade fitting
b y M a n R e p re se n t in g S e lf a s M u ­
icco m p an lm en t
for
th e
gloom y
sic H o u s e A g e n t — P riz e H o p f
thoughts th a t possessed me. H om e,
V io lin P r o v e s B o g u s.
friends, life Itself— all seem ed lost.
New York.— C arry in g a
carefully Dnly one th in g rem ain ed — to m eet the
w rapped bundle in both a rm s and end quietly, w ith o u t any cow ardly
m um bling ex citedly to h erself, ’T v e got com plaint. I fell Into a so rt of m en­
it,” a little old woman step p ed n e rv ­ tal stupor, w hile all my phy sical en ­
ously in to th e violin d e p a rtm e n t of ergies w ere c o n cen trated In h an g in g
on to my position on the w indw ard
Lyon & H ealy, th is city.
F ive m in u tes la te r sh e w as carried side of th e cabin, my feet braced
:o a car. m oaning h y sterically . W hat a g ain st th e deck, my h an d s hooked
she believed to be a genuine Hopf Inside the edge of th e b erth . Now
violin, an alm ost p riceless in stru m en t, and th en cam e a lull in th e fury of th e
p ro v td to be a fiddle not w orth $3. gale, and I could h e a r a faint, w alling
She had been sw indleu, she said, out cry like th e call of little tu rk ey chicks
of h e r hom e a farm
w orth $2.000 stray ed from th e ir m o th er— peep!
peep! pee-ee-eep! H ere w as food for
bought w ith h er lite's savings.
T h e w om an was Mrs. J. M. L lg h tn er speculation. W h at In th e w orld could
of P a ris, Mo., she told a p a th e tic sto ry It be th a t m ade a noise like little tu r ­
to the officers of the piano house. keys? To solve th a t rid d le Im m ediate­
E arly In Ju ly , she said, sh e w as ap- ly becam e th e m ost en g ro ssin g thing.
, ro ach ed by a man giving th e ñam e of A fter m uch search I discovered the
N. M. Ew ing, rep resen tin g him self as source of th e so u n d ; th e w ind w as
an a g e n t of Lyon & H ealy. He said blow ing a g a in st th e com panionw ay,
th a t he w as search in g for a ra re Hopf rebounding from th a t and w h istlin g
violin to r w hich he assa rte d the com ­ th rough th e keyhole of th e cabin door.
A door in th e b u lk h ead sw ung open
pany would pay $5,000. A co n fed erate
giving th e nam e of P rice then ap­ and in cam e M anuel, sm ilin g affably
p eared in M onroe, Mo., w ith the in s tru ­ and reassu rin g ly .
Ah-h-h!" he exclaim ed, ”v e r’ bad
m ent an d Mrs. L ightner h u n ted him
storm . Dees m o rn in g I begin m aka
up an d b o u g h t th e violin.
“I had to go tw enty-four m iles to da soup you like so m och, M eest’ In­
find Mr. P ric e ,” w rote Mrs. L lg h tn er glees. Ah-h-h! L oavely p ea soup w it’
in a le tte r to Lyon & H tealy . “He ham-a-bone. All m o rn in g da soup pot
h ad h e a rd th a t the violin w as very on d a g alley sto v e sh e slm -m er, sim ­
v alu ab le an d I had to pay him $2,000 m er, slm -m er. Den, a tw e n ta m in u te
fo r it. I d id n ’t have th a t much m oney a tw elve, com da g re a ta , beega b lan k
a-da-blank of a w ave a n ’ k nock dow i
an d deeded o v er my farm to him ."
E w in g n e v e r called at the L lg h tn er da sheep, a n ’ al my bee-yootlful soup
hom e to buy th e Instrum ent.
T he Is gone to ------, all over da galley
v ictim b ecam e suspicious and w rote w a ll!”
T h e re Is not enough room on th is
Lyon & H ealy on A ugust 27, m aking
in q u iry a b o u t th e agent and ask in g page to d escrib e th e long sieg e of
w h a t p rice w ould be given for the vio­ h o rro r th a t se ttle d dow n upon us. It
lin. A re p ly w as s e n t sta tin g th a t no la ste d fo r tw o d ay s and a half. One
su ch p erso n as N. M. Ewing w as in by one th e p ilo ts cam e dow n in to th e
th e em ploy of th e com pany. T hen cabin to put on d ry m itte n s and hang
Mrs. L ig h tn e r w as also notified th a t up th e w et ones th a t w ere freezin g
it w ould be n e c e ss a ry to see the violin th e ir fingers. No fire could be m ade
for tw o d ay s; for should a n o th e r
b efo re a n y p rice could be made.
A fte r le a rn in g how she had been knockdow n happen, th e sc a tte re d
sw in d led Mrs. L lg h tn e r took the first coals m ight se t fire to th e ship. 1
don’t th in k anybody a te an y th in g
tra in fo r home.
from M onday’s b re a k fa s t u n til n ex t
d ay; b u t my m em ory as to m eals a t
SKUNKS INVADE COUNTY SEAT th is tim e Is vague, Inasm uch as fe a r
(n o t se a sic k n e ss) had d riv en aw ay
D o n ’t M a k e F r ie n d s W it h the Cat, from m e all Idea a b o u t food.—W illiam
W a n t in g
S in c e
A n im a ls
Tnglis, in H a rp e r’s W eekly.
M unyons Cold Remedy Relieves th»
head, throat and lungs almost immediately
Checks Fevers, stops Discharges of tb»
nose, t akes away all aches and pains caused
by colds. I t prevents Grip and obstinate
Coughs and prevents Pneumonia. Price 25c
Httve you still' or swollen joints no mau
ter how chronic? A s k your druggi-t fur
M unyon’s R heum atism Remedy and see
how quickly you will be cured.
If von have any kidney or bladder
trouble, get M unyon’s Kidney Remedy
M unyon’s V italizer makes weak men
strong and restores lost powers.
F r u it of a G ood Life.
W hen you see a n old m an amiable,
m ild, equable, co n ten t, and good-
hum ored, be su re t h a t In his youth be
h as been Just, g en ero u s and forbear­
ing. In his end h e does not lament
th e p a st n o r d read th e future; be Is
lik e th e ev ening of a fine day.
C o p e rn icu s.
N icholas C opernicus, 1473-1543, flrtt
d e m o n stra te d th e fa c t th a t the earth
m oves around th e sun ra th e r than the
sun around th e ea rth , which was the
u n iv ersally accepted belief.
The m an who th in k s o u t and b rin g s
o u t a new food p re p a ra tio n usually has
to c re a te th e “ lo n g -fe lt w a n t” w hich
he fills.
In ta c k lin g th e p in eap p le
ju ic e problem , no such difficulty con­
fro n ted Ja m e s D. Dole, o f Honolulu
W hen we e a t pin eap p le i t is fo r th e
ju ic e alone, and less fibrous and m ore
te n d e r th e fr u it, th e ju ic ie r i t is and
th e b e tte r we lik e it.
U ltra -S w e ll.
W hen th e doctor orders pin eap p le in
L ittle M adge of S h an ty to w n Is n o ,
cases o f th ro a t tro u b le o r c e rta in stom ­
is not a “food” —It Is a medicine, and the
ach and in te stin a l difficulties it is th e so fo rtu n a te a s h e r w ell-dressed sis­
only medicine In the world for cows only.
pu re, uncooked ju ic e pressed from the te rs an d Is o ften fo rced to w e a r h er
M a d e fo r t h e c o w a n d , a s i t s n a m e indicates,
rip e s t o b ta in a b le f r u it w hich
he m o th e r's “h and m e dow ns." W hen she
a c o w c u r e . B a r r e n n e s s , r e t a i n e d afterbirth,
a b o r t i o n , s c o u r s , c a k e d u d d e r , a n d all similar
w an ts his p a tie n t to have. I t is th is a p p eared o u t on the, riv e r p ie r In a
a
f f e c tio n s p o s i t i v e l y a n d q u ic k ly cured. No
sam e re fre sh in g ju ic e w hich th e nurse s k irt th a t w as so long sh e could
o n e w h o k e e p s c o w s , w h e t h e r m a n y or few.
c a n a ffo rd to b e w i t h o u t “ K o w - K u r e .’
g iv es fe v e r co nvalescents w here cool­ sc arcely w alk all th e gam ins s ta rte d
I t is m a d e e s p e c i a ll y to k e e p c o w s healthy
in g and slig h tly acid d rin k s a re d e sir­ to Jeer her. "G et o n to de um b rella
O u r b o o k " W h a t t o D o W h e n Y our Cow«
A r e S ic k ” , s e n t fre e A sk y o u r lo c a l dealer for
able. So p ineapple ju ic e a lread y had a cover she has on," b a n te re d Jim m y
* *K o w - K u r e , * *or s e n d to th e m anufacturer«.
F inn. “W h a t do y e r call It, anyhow ,
place.
D
a i r y A s s o c i a t i o n C o .. Lyndonvllle, V t
The problem th en , to be solved, w as Madge,?’’
A
nd
M
adge
e
le
v
a
te
d
h
e
r
little
sun-
how to g e t th e p u re ju ic e of p ineapple
on the m a rk e t in such a form th a t it peeled nose an d re to rte d :
Sh o o e d F r o m F a rm .
“G et som e sen se a b o u t yer, Jim m y
would please th e h ealth y lover o f the
S a d D is illu s io n m e n t .
fru it, and be useful to th e doctor and F inn, a n ’ re a d de P a ris sty le s o n ce In
Ipsw ich, S. D.— D on’t m ake friends
T h ere w ere ta b le s, of course, fo r It
th e nurse. A sy ru p would not do, be­ a w hile. Dls is one of de new 'hobble w ith a c at, Is th e advice given here
was re a lly a v ery good re s ta u ra n t and
cause of th e im p o ssib ility o f su itin g k lr ts .’ ’’
sin ce th e Invasion of th is county seat jn e th a t I had c o n siste n tly p atro n ized
individual ta s te s. E ven th e ju ic e of
tow n by sk u n k s b eg an se v eral days lu r in g m y a n te -m a rita l ca re e r, and
M e lo d ra m a .
th e finest H a w a iia canned pineapple
TEA SPICES
ago.
low th a t th e w ife a n d baby w ere Jour­
A
s
th
e
e
ig
h
te
e
n
-c
a
ra
t
v
illain
leaped
BAKING POWDER,
would n o t an sw e r w ith its sm all q uan­
As W illa rd B row n, a p ro m in en t resi­ neying in th e c o u n try fo r tw o w eeks
* EXTRACTS
tity of p re s e rv a tiv e pure cane su g ar, down from th e p a ste b o a rd c a stle the
d en t, w as going hom e a fte r dark, he (san s an y soorap, tra-loo acco m p an i­
JUST
RIGHT
because th e physician needs to reg u la te b eau tifu l h ero in e gave a sh rie k of
a tte m p te d to pick up w h at he took to m ent on my p a rt, h o w ev er), I seem ed
th e am ount of su g a r prescrib ed . To d esp air.
be th e old h o u se c a t, b u t h e w as m is­ :o ow e It to re m in isc e n t b ach elo r days
ciossna DEVERS,
m ake a long sto ry sh o rt, Mr. Dole
"H aro ld M cD uff!" she m oaned, as
ta k e n an d w as fined a new suit of io ag a in s it a t th e h o rsesh o e-sh ap ed
PORTLAND. ». ORE/ J
8|>ent y e a rs in e x p e rim e n ts w hich fin­ th e g re a t c ry sta l te a r s w elled In her
clothes.
counter.
ally resulted in th e H aw aiia P ineapple eyes, “you h av e been my u n d o in g !"
A day o r tw o la te r one of th e odor­
A sw eet-faced w om an of a b o u t 45
OWARD E. BURTON - Asnayer and Chemlrt,
J u ic e w hich b ears his nam e.
T u rn in g as w hite a s a sum m er-
ife ro u s a n im als w as found sta rtin g look my o rd er, an d I found m yself H L e ad v ille, C olorado. S pecim en price«: Hold,
D ole’s is th e J u ic e of “ P icked R ip e ” bo ard in g house sh e e t, th e eighteen-
S ilv e r. L ead . Cl. G o ld . S ilv er. 75c; Gold 50c. Z im
u p sta irs In a b u sin ess block.
l. M ailin g envelope« an d fu ll price li*
speculating upon w h a t s tra n g e v icissi­ o r C t o o p n p a e p r p .i lic
H aw aiian P in eap p les pressed o u t and c a ra t villain v an ish ed am ong th e pa­
a tio n . C o n tro l a n d U m pire work«0>
K n u te K n u tesen , a fa rm e r In C lear tudes of fa te m ig h t hav e red u ced a s lie e n i ted
. R efe re n ce: C arb o n ate N a tio n a l Bank.
bo ttled on th e Islands w here th e fr u it p e r foliage. And th e b e a u tifu l h eroine
L ak e T o w nship, h a s a sk u n k farm , ady of h e r age an d obvious refin em en t
grow s. F ilte re d , refined, ste riliz e d in spoke th e tru th .
ra isin g th e a n im als fo r th e ir oil and .o such a sp h e re of a ctio n in h e r de­
th e b o ttle, re ta in in g all th e n atu ral
By step p in g on th e tra in o f her
lA f C | i l C l
b ro k e n m a c h in e ry and casting*
fur, an d local re s id e n ts a re of the f in in g years.
I f C VI Li L U o f all k in d s b y a new process,
flavor and arom a, n o t a b it o f sugar, gown th e arc h c o n sp ira to r had loos­
m aking: th e m a s good a s n ew .
M achine work of
opinion th a t th e v is ita n ts a re stra y s
H ad sh e loved an d lo s t th e one all k in d s . W e fix a n y old thing:. Portland Oiy-Acetrl«
w a te r, p re se rv a tiv e , or a n y th in g else ened tw o tiny hooks up n e a r th i
from th e sk u n k farm .
is added. I t has been four m onths on neck.
sw eeth eart of h e r youth, o r w as sh e Weld* Company. 305 Gksaa SL f W Man. 6769 Pedal Ik
th e m a rk e t.
D u rin g th is tim e the
still longing for th e le tte r “th a t n e v e r
0 0 YOU W A N T AN I N C O M I P
OYSTER BITES MAN’S TONGUE :a m e ? ”
J u ic e has been d is trib u te d all o v er the
AW FU L.
T h e V ia v a R e m e d ie s c u r e b ac k ach e,
U n ited S ta te s, in som e p a rts in am ple
H ow ever, I had finished m y m o d est n ess. fe m a le tro u b le s a n d r e c ta l d iseases. Send
R e s ta u ra n t K e e p e r P la c e d T i n y S h e ll unch and w as w aitin g m ore o r less f o r o u r book fre e . W e w a n t g o o d w om en agent*
q u a n titie s, w hile in othera th e supply
e v e ry J w
. , m
M a
ak
e i m nv
o i n le
e /
y «
a t i h o m
Write
n h e re
V
n
e
. e. .
- -
-
-
-
-
, for
In M o u th a s T e m p o r a r y
has been very re s tric te d .
patiently fo r my check. W hen finally p a rtii ic u la rs . T h e V ia v i Co.. 609 R oth ch ild Build*
S to re h o u se .
Its success h as been m ost g ra tify in g
I caught h e r eye sh e m oved le isu rely ingr. P I o r tla n d . O reg o n .
and u n precedented.
pver to th e c o u n ter, an d , a fte r feelin g
In its fa v o r w ere th e previous fav o r­
W arsaw , Ind.— L. C. H am m an, a first In one and th e n In th e o th e r pock-
ab le reception o f H aiw a ia n Pineapple,
re s ta u ra n t k e ep er, w as w aitin g on • st of h e r Im m acu late w h ite a p ro n and
317 A lis k y B uilding:. P o r tla n d . Oregon.
ft
th e g e n eral know ledge of its high
c u sto m e r w hen he n o ticed am ong th e slapping v ario u s p o rtio n s of h e r am ple ALL DEBTS COLLECTED. NO COLLECTION NO CHAItt
q u a lity , th e th e ra p e u tic values of
raw o y ste rs h e w as se rv in g one tin y in ato m y w ith o u t an y v isible re tu rn s ,
p in eap p le ju ic e know n to th e medical
fellow , sh ell and all. H e rem oved It m urm ured w ith a fa ra w a y look;
pro fessio n , and th e re m a rk a b le pro­
from th e p la te and placed it In his
"W here did I p u t th e m c h e c k s? ”—
d u c t itse lf.
So, fo u r m onths have
m outh fo r safe k eep in g u n til th ro u g h Chicago A m erican.
sufficed to g iv e th is new d rin k a large
w aitin g on h is cu stom er.
(a
hold upon th e people o f th e country
In re sp o n se to th e w arm th , th e oys­
" R e a d y — P r e s e n t — F ire .”
u n til th e dem and is p ra c tic a lly un­
te r opened Its shell, then closed as
O tto N aum ann, a B erlin a rtis t, h as
lim ited .
n e a rly a s possible, b a rrin g th e Im pedi­ n v en ted a firearm fo r em erg en cy use.
m ent of a tin y b it of H a m m a n 'i tt is a sm all b u t d ead ly pisto l w ith 46 Per Cent Protein —10 Per Cent Fat
tongue. T h is w as follow ed by a series i very sh o rt b a rre l an d It ca n be c a r­
Halibut.
THE WORLD’S BEST
of loud y ells by H am m an.
H alib u t Is th e “holy b u t" o r flound­
l yT ~ }
ded betw een th e lips an d fired w ith
FO R
e r. T he flounder plaice o r b u t was
die teeth.
COWS,
PO
ULTRY-
lì.
called holy, It Is supposed, becau se 11
C o w C h a r g e s L a u n d ry .
Suppose yoji w ere held up by a h ig h ­
A N IM A L S
w as chiefly used a s food on th e fast
D ayton, W ash .—All w ork w as sus­ waym an or a b u rg la r a n d o rd e re d to “I t ie a lm o a s t l w l ith FARM
o u t a n e q u a l a s a coneenUat*®
d ay s of th e ch u rch . "H ollyhock’’ li
pended In th e Ironing d e p a rtm e n t of sold up your h a n d s, you could still f e e d .” —U . S . A g r ic u ltu r a l D e p t. B u lletin No- »
th e holy hock o r m allow , w hich go!
a la u n d ry h e re w hen a cow, being «hoot him, provided, of course, th a t a n d 372. S O L D B Y A L L D E A L E R S
v
"
?
th a t n am e b e cau se It w as brought
d riv en to sla u g h te r by B asil b ro th ers, you w ere c a rry in g on e of A rtis t Nau- PACIFIC OIL MILLS.
Seattle. Wa*
from P alestin e.
T h e T ru s t M agnate— T hey te ll m e b ecam e
In fu ria ted
and.
d ashing n a n n ’s firearm s In y o u r m outh. T he
th a t 1 am accu sed o f being two- th ro u g h an open door Into th e w ash­ weapon is v ery c a refu lly c o n stru c te d ,
One ef Tom Hood’s Last Jokes.
faced.
in g p lan t, s e n t frig h te n e d w om en pell in d th e In v en to r claim s to h av e ob- ATRIP TO PORTLAND FREÍ
Shortly before his death, being vis­
H is S e c re ta ry — W o rse th a n
th a t. m ell th ro u g h all th e av ailab le exit*. :alned as good re s u lts sh o o tin g a t a
CUT RATES IN
ited by a clergyman whose features as W hy.
th e
n e w sp a p e r
Illu stra to rs T h e cow w as In fu riated by a red targ et as a good riflem an. As a m a t­
PAINLESS DENTIST«!
w ell as language were more lugubri­ have ru n y o u r face up in to th e h u n ­ a p ro n w orn by one of th e lro n ers.
,
P
a
in
l
e
s s E x t r a c t i o n ....... F j*
ter of course, th e a p p a ra tu s h a s to
S ilv e r F i l l i n g * ...................... £
ous than consoling. Hood looked up dreds.
At work In another departm ent of se used with great care to prevent the
t G old F illin g s ........................ ^
at him oom pasionately and said, "My
22 K. G o ld C r o w n * ................J
the laundry, R. B. Cady heard the powder from exploding Inside the
P o r c e la in C r o w n * ............... .
dear sir, I am afraid your religion
fem
inine
scream
s
for
help
and
lassoed
A Luckless Family.
n o u th .
It
re q u ire s
also stro n g
M olar Gold C r o w n * .....— J
doesn ’t
agree
w ith
you."— From
B rid g e W o r k , 22 K. O oU .—g
”Hla father had a leg broken, hla the animal. After the red apron had serv es, fo r th e d e to n a tio n Is m uch
I n la y P ill* . P u re G o l d ........
Planche's R em iniscences.
brother w as run over by the trolley, vanished the anim al becam e quiet and o u d e r than w hen a re v o lv e r o r a rifle
V a ry N ic* R ub b er PI**«.
B a*t R u b b er P la t e on E a r t h .........................
and another brother had an arm brok­ was driven from the building. Then s sh o t off
“Salt River."
A L L T H IS W O R K IS G U A R A N T IE D .
the doten lroners w ent tim idly beck
en w hile cranking up hts auto."
D o n ’t th ro w y o u r m o n ey aw a y . A do i*r ■“
T hat Imaginary stream called "Ralt
Is tw o d o lla r s ea rn ed . O ur o rig in a l reliab le
"And did he escape all such serious to work.
P
erseverance.
river," up which defeated candidates things r
Painlaaa M ethod* a n d ou r p e r fe c te d offi«*«
Seym our—Do you know w ho that m e n t raven u * tim e an d y o u r i
are supposed to be rowed, la one of
Steal the W atchdog.
“H e got married."
fellow across the street Is— that poor i «0IT01I
the moot felicitous of all our political
Middleton. N. Y.—Som e unusually looking fellow on hts uppers?
;
Am ericanisms, although Its authorship
mean burglars visited the horhe of
A Resem blance,
A shley— That's W asflrsler; tw enty
*« unknown^________________
"What drink is a com plaint of bad Bernard L evinson. on Benton avenun. year, ago he happened to win th e first
electric service like?"
In Sunday School.
at night and after stealin g «M from ?rlM tn » short story com petition, and
"I can’t se e that It resem bles an» Mr. L ev in so n s trousers which were BTer iln c. then ^ h„ bMn do|ng
Teacher—“W hat happened to Lots,
wife?“ Young America—'1 suppose drink."
° n * c,h* ‘r j m
,to1*
.«»thing except trying to repent h i.
"Why. Isn’t It a current w h in e r
fou mean about her turning to salt,
I S
T M *
tly w atchdog
j perform ance.”
— r O W
T H E BEST
but that looks to me like a yellow
* cou2f
^fer C O U C H S
Journal story.'
Kow-Kure
iiv
i iv
P O R T L A N D COL LE C T ION AGENCY
_____
’O i l »
„ BAI»
V
IS O ’S
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