DOCTOR
MAKES
A
MISTAKE
A Doubtful Member.
TO VARY THE MENU
TAKE Nul E BUT THE BEST
IB Miss Wood's kindergarten elas
there were eight pupils, lour girls ant
Good Story Told of a Popular Physi
four boys. One of the boys, however
and th at w ill be Kostei
cian Who Made Blunder in Sending
SOME SIMPLE
DAINTIES
THAT had not yet reached the estate of kilts
Out Two Parcels.
ter’s Stomach Bitters every
not to mention trousers. Accordingly
ARE EASILY PREPARED.
tim e.
This is the opinion
when little Susan Phelps v.as asked bj
A droll story Is told of one of the
a visitor to tell how many boys aD<!
o f th e thousands who hav*
most popular physicians In Vienna. He
But
Little how many girls there were, her con
was not a little astonished at the con fee Cream That Takes
taken it du rin g the past
fused reasoning went as follow's:
tents of two letters which he received
Time to Get Ready for the
57
years.
I t is a real
lately. They stated, in terms the re
"Th ere’s eight, one, two, three, four
Table— Rice Water Jelly—
lead
er
as
a
*onic,
stomach
verse of flattering, that his drugs had
five,
six,
seven,
eight,
Miss
Elliott,”
shi
For Lincoln Pie.
not merely done no good, but had act
replied.
“ And if he’s a girl” — sh<
rem ed y and appetizer. Try
ually aggravated the troubles they
Fine Ice Cream.— One pint milk pointed at one who wore dresses in
a bottle today.
It is for
were mentioned to cure.
one cup sugar, two tablespoons flour, stead of manly garb— “ why, there’«
Poor Appetite, Headache,
The doctor consulted his notebook, one saltspoon salt, one egg, one pint five girls, and one, two, three boys
and the truth at once dawned upon to one quart cream (or m ilk), one- But If she’s a boy, there’s one, two
In d ig e s tio n ,
him. About six weeks ago, an actress, half to one cup sugar, one tablespoon three, four girls, and one, two— foul
Colds,
Grippe and Malaria’
a brunette, then performing In the flavor; boll the milk, mix the sugar, boys.
She’s really a boy, you know
Fever and Ague.
Always
“ Merry Widow,” called upon him. Her flour, salt and egg and cook 20 min Miss Elliot," she confided, in conclu
beauty was of the Spanish type, and a ute8 after egg, sugar, flour and salt sion.—Youth's Comnsnlon.
insist on
perceptible down which shaded the are added to the boiling milk. This
finely formed upper Up of the actress is cheap and fine.
M o th ers w ill fin d Mrs. W in s lo w 's S o o th in g
Byrup tu e b< at re m e d y to use fo i t h e ir c h ild r e n
had daliy begun to grow darker. She
Fowl In Batter.—Take the remains l u r i n g th e t e e t h iu g p e r io d .
STARED AT PROF. BRANEFOG timidly stated her case and besought of a cold fowl, divide into neat Joints,
the doctor to give her a remedy for
CELEBRATED
remove all skin, dip each piece Into
Patriotism.
The doctor
Absent-Minded
Pedagogue
Didn't the unwelcome growth.
seasoned flour, rub over with a little
“I know a fellow," remarked the
promised to send her a remedy with
STOMACH
Know Whether He Had Put Baby
salad oil and set aside. Prepare a man on the car, "who says that every
the
utmost privacy.
or W ife ’s Hat in Oven.
good frying batter, dip each piece of time he hears a band play 'Yankee
Immediately after the actress had
fowl Into it and fry In deep fat. Serve Doodle’ he can feel the goose pimples
The people didn't merely look at gone a young lieutenant came In to round a pile of peas or French beans creeping all over him, and yet It takes
consult
the
physician.
In
grave
tones
Professor Branefog— they stared. He
Rice Water Jelly.— Wash two and a a precinct committeeman to drag him
knew he was absent-minded at times, he told his tale <rf woe. The faint in half tablespoonfuls of rice In several to polls on registration day.”
and he wondered whether he had rub dicatlons of his mustache. In spite of waters and cook In a quart of water
Discontent and Progress.
bed his face with boot polish Instead all his efforts, would not develop as for one hour, or until the rice is en
The pessimist who refuses to be'.iey»
The doctor
of cold cream after he had shaved, or rapidly as he desired.
In any advance is quite as wrong u
tirely dissolved. Add a pinch of salt.
whether he had forgotten to change laughingly undertook to help him out Sweeten to taste. Stir In the Juice of
the optimist who denies that there Is
of his difficulty, and promised the
his dressing-gown for his frock-coat.
any necessity for a forward movement
one or two lemons. Strain Into a mold
But a kindly policeman put things young,lieutenant, who was trying In and when cold serve with sugar and
Now, as alwnvs, discontent Is a duty,
vain to curl the ends of his mustache,
right.
for It is condition precedent to prog
cream. This Is an excellent dish for
"Are you aware, sir, that you are to send the remedy to his address by children and invalids.
ress. It Is not discontent that throws
I
am
frequently
troubled
with
kidney
carrying u Joint of beef In your arm i?" a trusty messenger
Lincoln Pie.— One pint stewed sour and bladder trouble, especially in the the dynamite bomb; It Is despair—
The scales now fell from the doctor’s
he asked.
apples, sifted; butter Bize of an egg Spring and Fall. Being an old V*eteran Brander Matthews.
eyes.
Either
he
himself
or
his
mes
"Goodness m e !" said the professor.
two tablespoons flour, grated rind of the Civil War, a little exposure or
“ I knew something was wrong. My senger had exchanged the small par and Juice of a lemon, yolks of three cold settles on my kidneys, and then I
A Contemporary Opinion Of Byron.
wife told me to put her Sunday hat cels containing such opposite reme eggs, beaten. Sweeten to taste. Bake am laid up with kidney or bladder
These poems ( “ Hours of Idleness")
on the bed, to place this roast In the dies— thence the bitter complaints and with lower crust, and when done trouble. Your Swamp-Root was recom completely
prove,
that
although
mended to me a number of years ago,
The drugs had, the doc
oven, and to take the baby and the reproaches.
spread a meringue of the whites ol and I took a number of bottles of it George Gordon, Lord Byron, a minor,
tor
found,
acted
most
effectually.
The
dog for a walk.”
three eggs, beaten with three table and was more than pleased with the re whose portrait we give, may be t
"You've not put the baby In the actress was obliged to have recourse spoons sugar over the top, and brown sults.
I consider Swamp Root the gentleman, an orator, or a statesman,
oven, surely?" said the law’s guardian. to soap and razor to get rid of the lux in oven.
greatest and best kidney medicine on unless he Improves wonderfully, he
"I put something In It,” said Brane uriant growth on her upper lip. while
Quince
Honey.— Pare and grate the market and it never fails to give can never be a poet.— From the Satin
fog; "but I don't know whether it was the lieutenant was ready to tear out three large quinces. Make a syrup ol quick results in kidney trouble, bladder 1st, London, 1807.
the
hair
of
his
Head
at
the
loss
of
the
the baby or the dog."
three pints of sugar and 1 4 pints of trouble and lame back.
Dr. K ilm er’s Swamp-Root has d o n e j^ ^
With bated breath they hurried to few straggling hairs of his mustache water. Boll together about twenty
me so much good that I feel if any
ow ar d
e . b u r t o n - A « -»y e r »na citmia,
the professor’s house. Here, on the
minutes.
Le niiV• lle. Colorado^ Specim en^ prices: Gold,
words
of mine will be
the means
of I S H ilver.
Outdoor Life Necessary.
bed, lay the baby and the dog; but It
v.
.
.v
, i a .
Lead. ?1. Gold, Silver, 73o; Gold. 50c; Zio«
relieving any poor suftorers, that you I or Copper. « . M o ilin g envelope* and full prieeli*
The longest-lived men are those en
was Just as bad for Branefog. It was
o n application.
appMention. ( ro
n tro l n
« ” d
a Umpire
LniD
arfl
lihortv to
iiqp this
this letter
I p t f p r na
von Bent
•«•nt on
’ontrol
work»
Swiss Dumplings.
are nt
at liberty
to use
as you
lieitod. E efenm ce: Carbonate National
his wife’s Sunday hat that was In the gaged In healthy outdoor occupations,
One pound sausage bought at a Ger see fit.
such as farming, simply because they
oven!
Yours very truly,
man delicatessen store, as the others
lead an active, muscular life In the
GEORGE W. ATC H LE Y.
will not do. Remove from skins and
T
open air.
Des Moines, la.
For Red, Week, Weary, Watery Eye» ud V
to It add one egg, salt and pepper, State o f Iowa,
FORCE OF HABIT.
Polk County, ss.
Bodily nctlve keeps at bay the dis tablespoon of flour and one-quarter
G
R A N U L A T E D EYE LID S I
A. R. Hansen, a retail druggist of this
eases of sedentary middle life. Gout loaf of bread which has been soaked
Murine Doesn ’ t Sm art—Soothes Eye Pain
and rheumatism lie In wait for the in milk and then pressed thoroughly city being first duly sworn deposes and Druggists Sell Marine Eye Remedy, Liquid, 25c, 50c, $1.01
man who does not walk five miles In till quite dry. Mix well together and says, that he is well acquainted with M u rin e E y e S a lv e , in A b e p tic T u b e *, 25c, $1.00
George W. Atchley who gave the above E Y E B O O K S A N D A D V I C E F R E E B Y MAIL
the week, who hates games and be- form in balls about the size of large
testimonial; that said Atchley made and
lievpB that golf and tennis are silly marbles. Drop In boiling water, salt signed said testimonial in my presence M u r in e E y e R e m e d y Co.,Chicago
and a waste of time.
ed, and cook until they float. Now re and that I have sold said Atchley a
It Is the active, busy woman who move to a dish and make a butter part of the Swamp-Root referred to in
keeps her complexion when she Is past sauce. M elt a piece of butter size of above testimonial. Affiant further says
forty years of age, and girls twenty an egg and add a tablespoon of flour. that George W. Atchley is a well known
years her Junior grow
sallow
and When well blended, add slowly, stir citizen o f this city and an honorable W ith those you have boen in the bebit of paying.
man, and that it was Mr. A tehley’s de an<l you w ill boo that we offer you a Bulmtantial *af«
anaemic for lack of outdoor exercise.
ring all the time, clear beef stock or sire to give said testimonial.
in « o n all work and you cannot got bettor painlMS
work anywhere, no matter how much you pay.
You must live a sedentary life, you the liquid the dumplings were boiled
A. R. H AN SEN .
J W o finish plate and
say? We don't belieev it. Even If In, enough to Just cover them. When
work for out«
Subscribed to in my presence, and
I o bridge
f - town natrons la
your day Is spent In an office or a the consistency of cream, put In sworn to before me, this 23rd o f March,
¡o n e day if desirsd.
| rain less oxtrertioa
shop, you have the early morning for dumplings and reheat. A little boiled 1909.
E. .T. F IS K . Notary Public.
I fre e when plate* of
| bridge work in order*
a cold bath, and twenty minutes with cauliflower adde>- Is very nice.
Letter to
|ed. Consultation lr»a
Dr. Kilmer & Co.
dumb-bells. You have your evenings,
Binghamton, W, Y.
Molar Crowns $ 5 . 0 0
and you have your week-ends.
Red Pepper Sweet Pickle.
22 k Bridge TestU. 0 0
Prove What Swamp-Root Will Do for You
Soak the peppers In boiling watei
Gold Fillings
1 .0 0
Send to Dr. Kilm er & Co., Bingham
He Got a Permanent Cure.
about twenty minutes, then lay In ton, N. Y., for a sample bottle. It will
Enamel Fillings 1 .0 0
The various rulings of the commis cold brine over night to draw out the convince anyone. You will also receive
Silver Fillings
«50
Good Rubber .
sions and departments at Washington crude Juices of the vegetable. Cut In a booklet o f valuable information, tell
Plates
5 .0 0
are oftentimes thought to be arbitrary thin slices, discarding all the seeds ing all about the kidneys and bladder.
Best Red Rubber.
Plates
7 50
Prospective Purchaser— Is that a and unnecessary. No less a personage and stringy pulp, and make Into a When writing, be sure and mention this
PanreiRT n o MUueis Painless Extr'tion .5 0
For sale at all drug stores. 0 1 . IS W. m A. a s WISE,
than David Starr Jordan Joked about sweet pickle, precisely as pears, ap paper.
good automobile?
UTULUHID IB PtSTUBS
B E S T M E TH O D S
Dealer (who used to sell horses)— the laws of the International Fisheries ples or peaches are pickled. A stand Price fifty-cents and one-dollar.
A l l w o r k fu lly g u a r a n t e e d f o r fifte e n jeerti
Why, sir, that automobile Is so gentle commission.
ard formula for this Is three pounds
It will eat out of your hand.
“ The fish there have no chance,” he of sugar, a pint of cider vinegar, two
The Truth at Last.
Painless Dentists
lamented; "they have as hard a time tablespoons each of whole cloves, all
City Girl— “ Oh, the darling little FllllntBuilding,
ThirdmdWathinrton PORTIA®,M,
of It as the whites In the interior of spice and cinnamon.
Have Us Bluffed.
Offlo, Hour.: 8 A. U . to 8 P. I f . Hand»,.. » » l
Scald all to chickens, Just out of their shells! At
gether and cook until the pepper Is what age are they ready for market?"
"You give your opponent an ad China.
“ A .druggist there said to his clerk tender. Remove the peppers and cook Farmer— "Anywhere up to eight years,
vantage If you let him know you are
one day:
afraid," remarked the morallzer.
the syrup long enough to thicken lady.”
“ 'Didn't I see a foreign devil come slightly, then pour over the sliced
"Perhaps." rejoined the demoralizer,
"that Is why the microbes And us out of here as I came down the street?' pepper. This is an excellent relish
“ ‘Yes, sir,’ the clerk meekly re with r it«< m-at.
such easy marks.”
sponded. 'He wanted a permanent
cure for headache.'
T h is w on d efu l man ha*
Its Nature.
Ham Sandwiches.
m ade a life study of tbs
“ ‘And you sold him----- ’
“ My father has been a sufferer from sick
Half a cupful of ham minced fine
" It Is a wonder that oil Is such a
p r o p e rtie s o f Root*,
“ ‘Rat poison, sir.' ” — From “ Affairs with several pickles. Add three sar- headache for the last twenty-five years and
H e r b s and Barka,and
big affair In the days' news."
is irivinj? the world tbs
at W ashington, by Joe Mitchell Chap- dines which have been carefully never found any relief until he began
"W h y should It not be?"
b en efit o f his servk«*
taking your Cascarets. Since he haa
ule, in the National Magazine.
skinned
and
boned,
a
teaspoonful
of
"Because it Is such a puerile mat
begun taking Cascarets he has never had
a N o M ercu ry, Pofoon*
mustard, salt and pepper to taste and the headache. They have entirely cured
ter."
o r D r e g s Used. Ns
Babes Couldn't See the Point.
a teaspoonful or more of vinegar as him. Cascarets do what you recommend
__ O p e ra tio n s o r Csttinf
W ells got an Idea the other day, and. I desired,
Spread on thin slices of them to d o . I will give you the privilege
No Stint.
G u arantees to cur© O atarrh, Asthm a. Lon*,
calling his children around him, he buttered bread,
of using his name.’ ’— E. M. Dickson,
Stom ach and K id n e y troubles, and all Pri**1*
Miss Gabbles— Yes. I Invariably
Diseases o f M n and W om en.
said:
I l 2 o Resiner St., W. Indianapolis, Ind.
weigh my words.
A S U R E C A N C E R CURE
“ Now, my babes, I want to ask you a
Cauliflower Pudding.
Palatable. Potent. Tasta Good.
Just re c e iv e d fr o m P e k in , China—s a f* ■»**
Mr. Blunt— W ell. It's a safe bet that question, to see how smart you are. for
Do Good. N e ver Sicken. W eaken o r G rip «.
Break
a
cauliflower
Into
sprigs
anu
and
reliab
le. U .-fa ilin g in its w orks.
^
lOe. 28c. 50c. N a ver sold in bulk. T h e ran-
you have never been accused o f giv 1 want you- to grow up smart business
I f you cannot call, w r it e fo r symptom blank
nine tablet stamped C C C. Guaranteed to
soak In cold salted water for half an
ing short weighL
and
circu
lar.
In
clo
se
4
cen
ts
in
stamps.
cure or your money hack.
men.”
hour, then drain. Cover with sweet
CONSULTATION TREE
"Propound, old gent,” said the eld milk and boll until tender. Drain, add
Pessimistic.
est.
a
one cupful of bread crumbs, one h a lf!
"1 think my boy will be a poet when
"T h at’s disrespectful." said W ells; cupful of the milk, the same of thick I
^ 16 2V* first St., cor. Morrison. Portl—
he grows up."
"but here's the question: What Is the sweet cream, the well beaten yolks of
\ S A i k ^ A G P O l PIUM
U M —T
— TOBACCO
OBACCO
“ Oh, don't be pessimistic; he may greatest grain elevator In the coun four eggs, one-half teaspoonful of salt,
H abit« P ositively Cored.
Only
anth
orizedKeeley
In
turn out to be a useful citizen.”
try?"
No. «J-'1*.
a pinch of ground mace and a dash of
stitute in Oregon. W rite
N*U
fo r illuatm tod circular.
His babes scratched their heads, ex cayenne, two tablespoonfuls of soft |
Lack of Courtesy.
amined their toes, and finally "guv It butter and the Juice of half a lemon,
w r it in g to A d v e r t í««* * !
"Did the official In the case -make up.”
If
m e n tio n th is p a p e r.
Mix well, pour Into a buttered pud
ortland o r e g o n
"W hy, yeast, you blockheads, you! ding dish and bake In a slow oven un
an excuse to his convict client for
Humph! It's queer I can't have smart til firm.
not getting hie release V
“ No excuse; didn’t even beg his young una like other people!” — Ex
change.
pardon.”
Sweet Applet With Cider,
Pare, core and slice sweet apples
The Wisdom of Solomon.
Cholc* of E v il* .
and stew slowly In sweet elder. I also
" I don't see any sense In referring add good cup of sugar and some stick
"Don't you know,” said the young
widow, "that a bachelor la an objoct to the wisdom of Solomon," said the cinnamon to every gallon of cider.
tb.
T ,h* EAST SIDE, where our «p e a s e * are very low. Actu.W *“
man smartly. "H e had a thousand Resembles quince sauce and Is dell
of public derision?"
tft© niff heet class o f dental work for much less than ths biff West Side “Parlors."
“ 1 have heaTd so,” rejoined the old wives ”
clous.
I am somewhat slow sending
_
ksve no hired dentists, no «»-«ailed "specialist«'’ nor •
w s do our own work.
"Y es,” answered the woman tartly, lou a recipe, but sure, nevertheless.
bachelor, “ and 1 have also heard that
"he learned his wisdom from them.”
The,
not * 5 " * » T O U 00 » ni ! h * n *«il the same thing to some one else
a married man gets his at home."
A LIK E .
wh*n w* “ y ONE LO W PRICE, TOE SAM E TO
Popcorn Pudding.
Just as He Said.
O b lig in g .
Roll 1 Pint of freshly popped com.
W e Cheerfully Exam ine and Estim ate T ou r W o rk Free.
"W hen you sold me that fam ily Add to It 1 4 pints milk. 4 cup sugar.
"Is this where John Jones lives?"
«"N o , this Is his home; but you can horse you A id he would eat anything.” S eggs, well-beaten, and a little salt
"W ell, doesn't h e r
and nutmeg.
Bake like a custard
come In and call up hie club If you
Com er Union A ve. and East Morrison
"H e does more. He eats everything.” about SO irinutea.
want l a "
°® “
p. ■>- Sunders. » to l.
DRS KEI.8KT A ITT
W e have lived In Oregon and Portland more than 25 year*.
and
b e l l s
Dyspepsia,
|OSTETTEIi'£\
F ITTE R
OLD SOLDIER WISHES TO HELP
SUFFERERS FROM KIDNEY, LIVER
AND BLADDER TROUBLES.
ry rurihe eye remedy
Compare O lt Prices
W is e D e n ta l C o.,^
C. Gee Wo
Headache
The Chinese Doctor
m
raffPIALCOHOL
j
j
The C. Gee Wo Medicine C
(u r e
P
.
“Fighting the Dental Trust”
The Big East Side One-Price
D entists