Announcements. I County Treasurer. I hereby wish to announce myself as a candidate for the office of County I hereby announce myself as a can­ Treasurer subject to the endorsement didate for the Republican nomination of the republican voters at the Primary for Sheriff at the coming Primary elec­ election to be held April 17th. If I tion. If I am nominated and elect­ am nominated and elected I promise ed I pledge myself to economical t j give the office the same close and and efficient management of the affairs careful attention as I have done in the of the office and impartial enforce­ past. w. M. J a c k s o n . ment of the laws. For Sheriff. W IT OF AN IRISH STORY. A DEEP M YSTERY SOLVED. Women Blinded by Science. ” The W om an W h o IT D isa p p e a r e d . SOUTHERN PACIFIC RAILWAY Forest Grov# Tim* Tabi« as a Rule, When the Tele le Re­ duced to Cold Type. I , . „ north bodnd . “ Irish wit loses more In reduction to no . 3 “ « 5 0 a m., •• - 1 . ¡0:30 . . . . No. V 1:30 p. in., eonl type than that of any other na­ No. 1 4:44 p. m ., *' " j» » . e. “ I *. » . tion on earth.” At least that is tho SOUTH BOUND. o. 1 I». Fortland 7 :0 0 ., m. iv. f o r m Grove 1 „ opinion of a St. Louis Hibernian who o. » “ 11:00 a. m., ar. " “ ',}£*•■• himself furnishes many excellent ex­ 0 - 4 4:10 p. m ., Iv. " -• , j f f - o . » . 10 5:40 p . m . . « , . • • amples of the article in question. __________________________ ‘‘When an Irtshmau perpetrates a wit­ E. C. S im pson , Age„t. ticism It Is always tinged with a per- souallty which lu print or even In tho W. E. COMAN, General freight mfi retelling Is often completely lost. There Passenger Agent, Portland. Is always something a wink, n smile, an arch expression. a shrug or gesture —that emphasizes the Joke and must be seen to he appreciated. Sometimes J. H. Hartley W . L. Cady an Irish witticism put Into type Is mis­ taken for mere dullness of superstition. “ I remember once hearing an Irish­ man tell a story about a wonderful old time king on the north coast who caught the devil at some trick and for a punishment made Old Harry carve his oxvn head on one of the cliffs. The story was told as seriously as a ser­ mon would be preached. No one could apparently he more sincere than the story teller. lie seemed to believe the legend as devoutly as though It came directly from holy writ. “ After be had wound op the narra­ tive, noticing a smile on my face, he stared In apparent surprise. ‘Don’t ye belave It? Sure, the old king's hum­ mer and chisel Is kept In the church Office in Times Building heyant, and what better proof could ye nxT And he gave a wink and a Ortfti grin and spread out both hands In a j Forost Srovo gesture of expostulation just as a law­ yer would when posing before a Jury and putting his most convincing argu ment In fue form of a question. “ It was the most exquisite bit of act­ ing I ever saw. The tone of perfect conviction in which he told the story j was Inimitable; then the contrast from solemnity to comic dismay at the Idea | of any one being so grossly Incredulous [ not to believe the story and the wink, which Indicated that he didn’t believe It himself aud was simply talk lng for amusement, were worthy of any actor that ever trod the boards. T o b u y D ru gs, or to Yet In the type all this was lost. To appreciate properly the wit of an Irish h a v e all prescriptions story you must hear the Irishman tell It.” —St. Louis Globe-Democrat. filled at Dr. Hines' The Doctor writes his prescription In Latin ami the patient shuts her eyes to what she is swallowing. She takes that [C opyright. 1907, by E, C. P arcelled much on faith. If It should cure her she We were bound up the coast to Val­ doesn't know what cured her. If the prescription Injures her slit! doesn't know divia and Santiago and had run Into a what aid the Injury. The physician is storm that wrecked the brig aloft. We experimenting with different prescrip­ tions all the time. Sometimes Ills medi­ made shift, however, to work our way cine Is successful in the case but often Into one of the bays off Chiloe lslund, not. This mystery of a concealed pre­ scription Is intended to mystify and to and there we spent two weeks refit­ blind the patient. One physician of wide ting. The Island named Is about forty experience and national reputation does miles off the coast of Chile. It Is fif­ not believe in mystifying the public, nor C. B. B u c h a n a n . teen miles lu length and from three to does he grasp at the stars, but Iwlieves County Recorder. that Nature provides that which is neces­ ten miles In breadth, and at the time I hereby announce myself as a can­ sary for our health and happiness. County Assessor. I write of was not permanently Inhab­ When the womanly system is deranged didate for nomination to the office of beyond the stage where it will respond ited. It Is of volcanic formation, but I hereby announce myself as a can­ to sunshine, good air, cheerfulness and well wooded. didate before the Primaries for the of­ County Recorder of Washington Coun­ proper rest; when the balance of health ' Is seriously disturbed this doctor believes ; Just previous to leaving London on fice of County Assessor on the repub­ ty, subject io the endorsement of the that Nature has placed at your hand this voyage Captain llennett had been the balance of power for good. Hidden married to a young lady whom he had lican ticket, and if nominated and republican voters at the Primary elec­ in our American forests are many plants been courting for over three years. If I am which correct and cure those distressing elected, it will be my effort to conduct tion to be held April 17lh. She was the daughter of a manufac­ ailments which cause women to suffer nominated and elected I promise to the office in the future, as in the past, with backache, bearing-down pains, pain 1 turer, and the marriage had the con­ in the back or front of the head, nervous­ with absolute consistency, and without give the office the same attention it ness and lassitude. Most all women who j sent and good wishes of her family. love Nature, who like to wander through I She was a handsome, intelligent glri fear or favor, and for the best interests has received during my first term. the woods, have at one time or another | of twenty, much In love with tho cap­ W il lis I r e l a n d . picked the beautiful blossom of the I tain, and this voyage was their bridal of Washington County. Lady’s Slipper (Cypripediura). This is not ! tour. I was the captain's uephew and G e o . H. W il c o x . July a beautiful but a very useful plant. Announcement. The root of this plant when treated second mate of the brig. properly with glycerine to extract its The undersigned wishes to announce medicinal virtues Is "valuable in all cases I When we bad anchored the brig in a Announcement of Geo. G. Hancock. landlocked bay and began at the re­ nervous excitability or irritability," his candidacy for the clerkship of if pairs tlie young wife suggested a tent lavs Prof, .lohn M. Scuddor, M. I). Au- T c the voters of Washington County. Washington county to come before the yther authority. Prof. F. Ellingwood, I under the trees ashore. A tent was erect- I hereby a-m unre myself as a candi­ M. D., says of this plant: "Exercises eel. a few necessaries taken ashore, and primary next April. I have had exper­ special Influence upiA nervous conditions date for the office of Sheriff of this there the happy couple spent their depending upon disorders of the female ience in that office and ¡1 elected will organs." Another plant which is fre­ nights and part of the days. During County, subject to the endorsement of quently found in our American forests is the daytime. If the captain was cot on the Republican voters at the primary give the people my best efforts in that Hehmias. or Unicorn root. The A m e r i ­ board, they wandered over the Island c a n D is p e n s a t o r y says of this plant, election, to be held on April 17, 1908. office. that it "possesses a decidedly beneficial or gathered shells along the beach. If W. D. S m it h . Influence In an enfeebled condition of he was on hoard we could see her mov­ If I am nominated and elected I the general system, with weakness or ing about or sitting under the trees. dull pain in the renal, or lumbo-sacral w'li during my term of office, faithfully We finally had things ready to proceed, (small of the back) region. In dis- For County Treasurer. Btid impartially discharge the duties eases of the womanly organs, it is one of and the tent and the wife were to be O U T most valuable agents, acting as a I hereby announce myself as a can­ brought aboard next morning, when a thereof, and give to the people of this uterine tonic, and gradually removing County an efficient and at the same didate for the republican nomination abnormal conditions, while at the same strange thing happened. Captain Ben­ time it imparts tone and vigor to the nett had been with us all the after­ for County Treasurer to come before organs.” Hence. It is much used in ca­ time an economical administratron. noon, going ashore about 0 o’clock in tarrhal, pelvic drains, irregularities and I further state that I will give the the repnblican voters of Washington painful periods. Prof. King further says, the evening. An hour later t e were of Unicorn root: "A particular phase notified that the wife was missing. b si -ess of that office my personal at­ county on April 17, 1908. removed by it Is the irritability and It did not seem a thing of much ac- despondency that often attends these I promise, if nominated and elected, tention, and every man a square deal. troubles (referring to the ailments just | count to me when I went ashore at his to give strict attention to the duties of mentioned). It has been found especially ' call. I myself had seen the woman as G eo . G. H ancock . to those cases In which pelvic 1 late ns 3 o'clock. She had been cau­ the office and will turn all interest on adapted fullness, and the aching, bearing-down organs feel as If they would fall out of tioned not to wander too far, but had Notice. county funds deposited into the been a hit heedless. I had no doubt the body.” Dr. Pierce, chief consulting physician that she would he fouud within the I hereby announce myself as a Re­ County Treasury. to the Invalids’ Hotel and .Surgical Insti­ hour and that we should all have a H . G. K in g . tute of Buffalo. N. V., says, that a com­ publican candidate for the office of bination of the active principles of these good laugh over the Incident. The only County Assessor of Washington County, two native plants together with Golden direction she could take from the tent SOAP IS ANCIENT. Tax Notice. Seal root. Black Cohosh and Blue Cohosh was due west, where a narrow valley Oregon, subject to the endorsement of The taxpayers of Washinington roots when ext. acted by the use of pure, triple-refined glycerine of proper strength led Inland. The captain had gone a It Was Used by the Gauls as a Dress* the Republican voters of this County mnty, Oregon, are hereby notified (which lng For the Hair. is used instead of alcohol), will mile in this direction and shouted her at the Primary election to be held on iat the first half of their taxes for the almost invariably cure those peculiar name and got no reply. We now hur­ Who Invented soap? That It Is not a ear 1907, and levied in January, weaknesses and maladies incident to ried along until we had covered dou­ modern convenience Is well known, but April 17th, 1908. women. That Is why l)r. Pierce, nearly 1908, are now payable and will be- forty years ago, decided to put up in a ble that distance, nnd we shouted at Just when It came Into general use Is If I am nominated and elected I ready - to - use form, a " Prescription’ the top of our voices, but no answer a mystery. ■ome delinquent on the first Monday which he hud found so useful lu his came to our hails. We followed the ril! during my term of office give all a Iu Biblical times cleansing agents in April 1908, at which time interest large practice. square deal and good service. Dr. Pierce Is frank and open about valley, winding and turning, for a dis­ were used. The books of Job nnd Jer­ at the rate of 12 per cent per annum his ready-prepared medicine, called Dr. C. E. DEICHMAN. will be charged, in addition to 10 per Pierce's Favorite Prescription — he tells tance of two miles and then returned emiah contain the word “ soap.” But this is merely a convenient use of the to the beach for men and lanterns. cent penalty, which said interest will just what is contained in It —he says The disappearance was a strange word in translation. The Hebrew word it is not a cure-all, as it serves only a Notice. be computed from the first Monday in singleness of purpose, being for women’s thing. The woman could not have lost “ borlth,” for which It was substituted, peculiar weakni sses and maladies, the her way. She could have gone in only Is a general term for cleansing sub­ I hereby announce myself as a Re­ April, 1907. medicine put up for sale through Dated at Hillsboro, Oregon, Febru­ only druggists for the cure of such maladies, one direction. She had only to turn I d stances. What those substances were publican candidate for the office of ary 13, 1908. all the Ingredients of which have the en­ her tracks to come back to the start­ Is unknown, but they were probably County Clerk of Washington County, dorsement of leading medical practi­ ing point. We had been there two little like the moderu soap. J. w . C o n n e l l , tioners and writers, as beinij the very rilny speaks of the invention of soap Oregon, subject to the endorsement ol Sheriff of Washington County, Ore­ b e s t known remedies for the ailments for weeks and had not seen a stranger by the Gauls, who, however, used it about. Eight of us. provided with lan­ which " Favorite Prescription ” is advised. 32-Apr-l the Republican Primary election to be gon. All this will be learned to the reader’s terns or torches, divided into four par­ only as a sort of pomade or hair dress­ full satisfaction by perusing a,booklet of ties and began a new search. Oue ing. He also refers to the use of both held in said County, on April 17, 1908. REV. ROBINSON AND REV. BOYD extracts compiled by Dr. Pierco from If elected, I promise a careful, eco­ standard authorities of the several schools party went up the beach, another down, hard soap aud soft soap by the Ger­ SPEAK TO STUDENT BODY. of practice, and which will be sent free aud the other two followed the valley mans. The use of fuller's earth, which nomical administration of the affairs o! to anv address on request for same, to Its end. It began or ended In a has saponaceous qualities, for cleans­ mailed to Dr. R. V. Pierce. Buffalo, N. Y. basin of nbout an acre In extent. This ing purposes was known to the Ro­ that office, r fucient service and faith­ It stands alone. Dr. Pierce’s Favorite M r. II. W . B o y d T o l l s o f Mis li e c e n t Proscription is the only medicine for basin was shut in Ivy rocky hills and mans. ful performance of duty. woman's peculiar weakness and affec­ pretty well covered with hushes. We The French word for soap, savon, E u r o p e a n T r a v e l s . Ills V isit E. J. G o d m a n . tions, all the Ingredients of which nro had brought a musket along, aud for comes from Savona, Frauce, where It printed upon the bottle-wrapper in plain to th e P o r t u g e s e A z o r e s . Kiujllsh. so that all who take It may an hour we shouted nnd fired by turns. was manufactured. The first manu­ No reply did we get. Then we returned facture of soap iu Londou Is said to For County Commissioner. know exactly what they are using. On Wednesday, Rev. Herbert W A further reason for tne unprecedented to see what luck the others had met have been in 1524, and previously Bris­ I hereby announce myself as a Re- Boyd of this city, spoke on “ A Port­ popularity of the "Favorite Prescription” with. There was not much to hope for. tol had supplied it for use In the Eng­ of l)r. Pierce for the special use of women bublican candidate for the office of hole Picture,” the subject beifig a is to be found In the fact that It contains The beaches were short, aud no one lish cities. a drop of alcohol. He dives not be­ aboard the ship had seen the missing According to the historian Slsmondl, County Commissioner of Washington irief resume of his Enropean trip of not hove that an alcoholic compound is bene­ j woman strolllug up or down. When a soapmakor was included In the reti­ Countv, subject to the endorsement ol ist summer. Rev. Boyd spent nearly ficial for those affections peculiar to we reached the tent It was to find that nue of Charlemagne, king of the women because th- after-effect of spiritu­ the Republican voters of this county our months abroad visiting various ous wines or alcoholic medicines Is harm­ the other searches had been In vain. Franks, at the end of the eighth cen­ ful for weak, invalid, nervous women. Then the captain said: tury, at the Primary election to be held on daces of interest and traveling through What " Pusprite P rescription” has done "My wife has wandered to a dis­ In the excavation of the ruins of for others It will no doubt, n o r o a r o r , 11 April 17th, 1908. If I am nominated he most beautiful parts of southern sim ilarly afflicted, and you give it a good, tance. nnd In climbing some hills, per­ rompeli a soap holler's shop was un­ (air ana faithful trial. and elected I will during my term of Europe. He spent some time in Italy haps nfter a rare flower, she has met covered, with soap In It, showing that with a fall. She may be lying dead, or the making of it was known In the first Office, give careful and conservative near Lake Como. On his return the FROM THE NURSERY. she may have been so badly hurt that Christian century. set vices. vessell stopped for a short time at the she cannot call out In answer. 1 shall Fllny, who wrote of the eruption of A. B. T o d d . Azores. Here Rev. Boyd had an op­ Comical Sayings by Little Mites of continue the search the night through.” Vesuvius, which destroyed the two Ro­ Humanity. There was no one who did not pity man cities in 79 A. D., stated that soap portunity to see the city of Porta Del Small Elsie—Aren’t you awfully tired | the man. We had a crew of fourteen, was made from tallow aud ashes and County Assessor. Garda, the chief city of the islands, and after the hall last night? and. leaving only two men aboard as that the German soap was the best I hereby announce myself as a can­ to observe the inhabitants who are for Miss De Playne—Why do you ask, an nnchor watch, the rest of us re­ Galen also referred to the use of soap. didate for nomination to the office of the most part, Portugese. The peo­ dear? newed the search. We went on the Smnll Elsie- Sister said you held the Idea that the woman must have climb­ A Gracious Negative. County Assessor of Washington County ple are clean and prosperous and the wall up nearly nil evening. ed the hills at some point. Six of us “The other day I got the politest subject to the endorsement of the city lacked that dirty, dilapidated look took one side of the valley nnd six the turndown.” said a bond salesman, “ that “ Now, Harold," said the Sunday other, and we examined every spot ever happened. I had been talking republican voters at the Primary elec­ common to some of the Continental tion to be held April 17th. If I am cities. The islands, although of vol­ school teacher, "can you tell me why with the minutest care. Wherever It from 11 o'clock till almost noon to a Adam and Eve clothed themselves aft­ seemed possible for a woman to have man I’d known at college, trying to In nominated and elected I promise to canic origin, are very fertile and the er the fall?” climbed up we sent a man. We looked terest him In $10.000 of what I con “ Yes, ma'am,” auswered Harold. for broken branches; we looked to see sldered very exceptional bonds. Final­ give the office close and careful atten­ climate very mild and moderate. “ ’Cause It was winter after the fall.” if patches of moss had been disturbed; ly be looked at his watch. tion and a strict performance of duty. Rev. Boyd described this brief visit as we looked for fragments of her dress “ ’Bob,’ be said, ’It's lunchtime.’ M a x C r a n d a l l . Mother (aurprtsed) — Why, Johnny, clinging to briers. Not until daylight one of the most delightful incidents of " ‘That’s so,' I answered. how did you happen to got the merit came and we were thoroughly exhaust­ “ ’Boh,’ he went on. ‘If I buy those his trip. County Sheriff. card for good behavior at school this ed and discouraged was there any let­ bonds will you take me out to lunch?’ up. Then we returned to the ship for Last Tuesday Rev. Robinson of We»'k ? I hereby announce myself as a Re­ “ ‘Of course,' I said. ‘Why, sure.' Small Johnny It was like tills, mam- breakfast and a brief rest. The cap­ “ ‘Well, Bob,’ he concluded, ‘you’d publican candidate for the office o Hillsboro, visited at the University mn. Harry Jones won It. and I told tain eat down under a tree ashore. better have lunch with me this noon.’ ” County Sheriff of Washington County, and took part in the chapel exercises. him If he didn't give It to me I'd punch When morning came again he had —New York Sun. made up his mind what to do. The Oregon, subject to the endorsement of After reading a few verses of scripture him. brig could no longer be detained. Solitude Cure* Crying. the Republican Primary election to be Mr. Robinson spoke for a few minutes, Little Elmer—Papa, please buy me a Stores sufficient to last a man for many “The best way to cure yourself of held in said County on April 17, 1903. on the bible and its relation to us. hobbyhorse? weeks were landed, nnd she was sent crying Is to live alone.” said the wo­ If elected, I promise a careful, eco­ He showed how it contained comfort. | Fapm—Why. Elmer, you are too old on her way In charge of the mate. At man. “ I used to cry an awful lot when Valdivia he was to arrange for some to be wonting a hobbyhorse. I was married, but 1 hardly ever do nomical administration of the affairs ol promise, hope and all that our lives , I.lttle Elmer—Then, papa, please buy native craft to come nnd take the cap­ now. It's the saddest thing In the that office, efficient service and faith­ need to make them good and useful J me a real horse. -Chicago News. tain off. He would remain and prose­ world to hear yourself crying nil alone cute the search until the mystery was ful performance of duty. He also brought out the fact that great • la your flat, nnd what's the use any solved, and he would allow no one to Served Accordingly. J o h n C. K u r a t u . way If there Is uobody around to say literary men. like Walter Scott, turned At a men's cafe one night a young remain with him. "There, there!' “ —New York Tress. in the hour of sorrow and death, to the I American, a bart>er, fell In with an It was three months later when the For Sheriff. Ills age was Englishman. The latter was tierating captain was taken off. bible, whete they found comfort and The Change. the Yankees for doing all manner of only thirty, but he looked like a man I hereby announce myself as a can­ peace. “You don't love me as yon used to." I business in their shops and not follow- of fifty. He was gray haired and bent didate for sheriff of Washington County, lng the tletter English plan o f stteklug nnd wrinkled. He had gone over every declared the termagant wife. "Before I Dream* of the Healthy. to one branch. foot of the Island twice and three we were married you considered me Oregon, at the Repuplicau Primary I There has been much discussion as to The next day he swaggered Into the times over, nnd he had not found so absolutely perfect"— nominating election, and announce whether one dreams only on falling to "Yes." Interrupted the downtrodden barber shop to be shaved. The barber much as a shred of his wife's dress, I that if I secure tne republican nomina­ sleep and during the set of waking up. gave his face an extra good soaping Not a hush nor a rock nor a gully had husband, "but now you're perfectly ab­ solute.” —Philadelphia Presa. I tion for Sheriff of Washington County, or whether dreams take place at any and left him. at the same time seating escaped him. Not a thicket but that time during sleep. While not definitely himself to read. he had searched on hands and knees. and am elected that I will give said of­ determined ns yet, the evidence seems Circumstantial Evidence. The Englishman kept qnlet for a few Not a foot of beach had been left un- Mr*. Coburgger It Isn't right tc fice allot my time and personal attention to be rather In favor of the view that mluutes. when, seeiug his attendant watched for what the tide might bring, and will endeavor to give an efficient one may dream at any time during reading, ha blurted out, “ Why dou't phe had simply disappeared off Chine charge F m idi« with taking that i n » . . . the night or the whole night through, yon shave me. sir?” Island, and to this day 3 0 one knows t j out of your pocket. Why don’t y»n administration of the affairs of said ot- j )rvBnling i* common to perfectly accuse me? Coburgger—Because It "You will have to go up the street how. M. QUAD. wasn’t all taken.—Harper’ s Weekly. ------------------------ -- flee and perform all of the duties there- healthy persons, and in itself is no for your »have.” quietly replied the barber. “ We only iather here.” —Fhtl- — The finest of Cotton Blankets a* — We repair and cover umbrella. Ol in a conscientious manner. j d‘* ° " Wr U ,rp* r’' adelphla Ledger. Bailey’ s. L. J. Corl & Son. 23tl F r a n k T. K a n e . 1 * VALLEY REALTY CO. Real Estate Investments Loans & Insurance Rents CollecM It w ill SAVE YOU MONEY D ru g Store. Agent for K o d a k and Cam­ era supplies. DRUG STOß D r . H in e s ’ A Boomerang. A very rich, very economical nl very parsimonious young squire »• making preparations for a temti ball some years ago and at his merchant’s discovered a cheap brand champagne. “ This,” he said, ‘X good brand of champagne. It Is good enough for those people who. come to my tenants’ ball, couldn’t tell the difference, any*?' Accordingly he ordered a dozen cW o f the cheap wine. A day or twoS fore the event, picking up bis . paper, he noticed that his wine I chant had a half page advertise: He ran bis eye over it and saw Is : black letters the paragraph, "Try. celebrated champaguo at 38 shilling dozen, as ordered by Gobsa Gold. T for his forthcoming tenants’ W Illustrated Bits. A noxner View. Mrs. Tourist—I'm afraid that monkey wouldn't please my hm Vender—But madam will It- to find nnother husband than to^ monkey like that 3 pi* Translated For find for Transatlantic F ro m T,o R lre.____________ DON'T EXPERIMENT You Will Make No M' You Follow Thi* Fort* Grove Citizen's Advict Never neglect your kidney*. If you have pain in the b*t*’ = y disorders, dizziness and nent*-j t's time to act nent. These kidney trouble, emedy which and no timet8" are all symph' and vou shooH- is known to , idneys. Doan’ s Kidney Pills >* thi!j o use. No need to expen \as cured many stubborn c***! *st Grove. Follow the « ^ i Forest Grove citizen and b*- yourself. Mr«. M C. Dilley. !K ln f ™ Mai* * * ^ Ore., says: “ My husband had hurting him for «ome time. He «*»*> ime* that he ccu'd hardly ,r0° seemed *o be more «evere at mgM ^ fered with hi« re«t. Added to tb* 3 sTderrd condition of his kidney« nnoyed by the too frequent ¡*c so*. Xfter using many retredie* -s’e rs sn d nim eo*» bu * ‘ He wa* feeiing very miser- tie ^ ^ .a g V »n*l Kidney Mil*, awl ® • ,hoTt elteved He u gl-d to give For sale bv all d;a>rs. enti. Foster-Milburn Co- New York, sole agents iot tfc* Males. Remember the name -Do* take no other. tha i Kart