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About Washington County news. (Forest Grove, Washington County, Or.) 1903-1911 | View Entire Issue (April 27, 1905)
Ayers Censorship tn Russia. A correspondent tells the following story of methods o f censorship in Rus sia: I was at an evening party o f the local press censor In a south Russian town. About midnight I had strolled F o r hard colds, bronchitis, from the music room into a card room, and was watching a game o f cards, asthma, and coughs o f all one of the players being our host, the kinds, you cannot take any censor, when the hostess approached th in g b e tte r than A y e r ’ s her husband. “ I wish, my dear, you would step behind. There are three poor devils there who have been waiting for you a couple of hours. I did not wish to disturb you sooner.’ Cherry Pectoral. Ask yout “ They must wait u little longer,” re plied the censor; “ I must Huish my own doctor if this is not so. rubber.” H e uses it. He understands Twenty minutes later our host ab why it soothes and heals. sented himself for a quarter o f au ** I had a terrible cough for weeks. Then I took Ayer's Cherry Pectoral and only one hour. bottle completely cured in«*.'* Meeting his w ife next doy, I asked M b *. J. B. D ankoutu , St. Joseph. Mich. 25c .. 50c .. $ 1.00. j . a. a y k k C o ., her who were the “ three poor devils” fo r referred to. "Editors o f the three local journals,” she replied. They had waited two and a half You will hasten recovery by tak hours in the censor’s back kitchen ing one o f Ayer’s Pills at bedtime. with their MSS. and proof sheets for that mtiruing’s Issue, without which they could not go to press. What is Castoria. ^A ST O R IA is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Paregoric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. The children’s Panacea—The Mother’s Friend. The Kiqd You Have Always Bought, and which has been in use for over 30 years, has borne the signature of Chas. H. Fletcher, and has been made under his personal supervision since its infancy. Allow no one to deceive yon in this. All Counterfeits, Imitations and41 Just-as-good” are but Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of Infants and Children—Experience against Experiment. She— I understand that Sarah Ann married a struggling young man. H e — Yes, he struggled all right, but he couldn’t get away. Dolly— He's one of those men who won’t take no for an answer. Madgo — What are you going to do? Dolly— Why, tell him yes.— Town Topics. Friend— Whut is hope? Poet— It 's something that wakes you up at four o’clock in the morning when the post man doesn't come around till ten.— Ram's Horn. He— My father is a banker, and has never been inside a theater in his life. She— Really? My father is an actor, and has never been inside a bank in his life.—Judy. Newrich— H ow ’d you get alnng at the dinner? Mrs. Newrich— Fine. When they eat pie with a .fork, 1 done it, too, so as not to let ’em see their A Nuisances. break.— New Y'ork Sun. What? Who? Any one who rings D r F. (.¡«raid Rlattner, of Buffalo, N. Y., » a y » : "Your Ciatorla 1» good fo f H is G r e a t e s t W o r k . Judge— The next person who inter t .idren and I frequently prescribe It,’ slwaya obtaining the dealred results." the door bell and leaves a handbill " I suppose you saw the Venus ol rupts the proceedings o f this court wound about the door knob. A man or I>r. Gustave A. Elsengrmeber. o f St. Paul, Minn., «ays: *T have used your Milo," said the eager art student to Castoria repeatedly in my practice with good results, and can recommend It at an will be expelled from the room! Pris boy may uot be seriously thought of the young man who had just made a excellent, mild and harmless remedy for children." oner— Hoo-ray! Whoopee-ee! Now, who ventures upon private property rapid tour of the European conti Dr. E. J. Dennis, of St. Loula, Mo., says: " I have used and prescribed your lemme go!— Chicago News. and noiselessly leaves bis advertise nent. Castoria in my sanitarium and outside practice for a number of years and tlnd it to ment; but be who comes to the door, Bank President— W e’re ruined! The bs aa excelleat remedy for children.’’ He nodded, after a slight hesitation rings the bell, takes one from their “ I did,” he said, cautiously, “ anil cashier has absconded with one hun Dr. 8. A. Buchanan, of Philadelphia, Pa., eays: " I have used your Caatorla in work, simply to Hud the program of a Director— the case of my own baby and dud it pleasant to take, and have obtained excellent I thought ’twas about the best pleet dred thousand dollars. 5 minstrel troupe or even a sacred con reaulta from lta use." • of art over there. O f course that’« Don't get excited. He has left a note cert, takes an unauthorized liberty, offering to take us into partnership. Dr. J. E Slmpaon, o f Chicago, 111., aaya : ” 1 have used your Caatorla In easea only my idea.” and, as the matter stands now, through of colic in children and have found it the beat medicine of lte kind on the merket.” Mrs. Oatcake (reading newspaper)— “ Many people agree with you,” said an almost <asily repetition, becomes a Dr. R. F,. F.sklldson, of Omaha. Neb la y s : ” 1 find your Caatorla to be a the art student, approvingly. “ It Is Gracious me! Mr. Murdock has been 1N I A N I S / 1 H I L D R E N nuisance. Whoever you are, man or standard family remedy It it the beat thing (or infants and chlldtan I have ever very fine.” arrested. It was discovered that he known end 1 recommend I t ” boy, remember this, you have no more “ Well, now. I ’m glad to hear you had twenty wives, and all are living! right to pull a door bell for the pur Dr L. U. Robinson, of Kansas City. Mo., aaya: ” Yonr Caatorla certainly haa say that,” said the returned traveler Farmer Oatcake— O-oh! another case merit la not lta age, its continued uac by mothers through all theae years, and the poses of advertisement than you have “ Knowing I ’m not really up in art, ol many attempts to Imitate It, sufficient recommendation? What can a pliyaiclsn add? of Brigham-y.— Puck. to pull a person’s nose. Opium.Morphine Leava it to the mothers." course I feel some hesitation in giv Boarder (warmly)— Oh. I know ev N o t N a h c o t ic . ing my opinion. But do you know ery one o f the tricks o f your trade. Dr Albert J Weeton, o f Cleveland, O., aaya: " I have used yonr Castoria Is M other»w ilt And Mr«. Window’s Soothing my practice for tha past eighteen year» with the utmost success." Byrup tha beat remedy to use lor their children candidly, it didn't seem to me there Do you think I have lived in boarding during the teething period. was another thing of Milo's that touch houses twenty years for nothing’ Dr Edwin F. Pardee, of New York City, say»: ’’For aeyeral year» I hay# % rrr O ld D r SAMUEL PTTCHSR recommended your Caatorla and shall always continue to do eo, as It baa invariably the veuus, or came anywhere neat Landlady (frigidly)— I shouldn't be at produced beneficial reaulta.” Pumpkin S m d “ M u s i c as a P rofessi o n. it!” all surprised.— New Yorker. JLx.Senna * Dr N B. Sixer, o f Brooklyn, N. Y.. aaya: ’’ I object to what are called patent Unless a man is rich he ought to b€ PeJUIe Set * - medicines, where maker alone knows what Ingredient» are put tn them, but 1 know "L e t me see, a cynic is aman who dm*t Seed • regarded as a criminal if he permit! the formula of yonr Caatorla and advlaa its uae." A Disapp ointed C annibal. Hpptmuat - Is tired o f the world, is he not?” the hU sons or daughters to become must /ft Cast ana* Seda * A pathetic story of a disappointed young student of language asked. HunmSmd- clans. In the musical profession there cannibal is told in an English religious “ No, no, my child,” replied the know are a few prizes not o f the largest, paper. “ One day,” says n missionary, ing tutor; “ a cynic is a man of whom but for the largest number of Inter “ I was eating some canned sheep's the world is tired.” — Pick-Me-Up. A pretative artists the life is one of tongues that had been sent from home. B e a r s th e S ig n a t u r e o f drudgery— the drudgery of learning, The Senator— Why mustn't I vote One o f my natives, seeing me, jumped Worms the drudgery of pushing one’s self into Constituent— Because with delight. He thought they were for that bill? ness and L O S S O F SLEEP. notice and after all the continual men’s tongues. His gloom on discov the people don’ t want It, Senator. The drudgery o f playing or singing just ering that it was not a religious re Senator— Wbat have the people got fa c S io fie Signature of the musle the public wants. I recom Ain't election over, vival, after all, and that the mlsslyi- to do with it? mend bo one to enter such a profession ary remained unconverted would have hey?— Louisville Courier-Journal. unless he or she loves music to such A fter the wedding: He— What are touched the hardest heart.” a degree that the drudgery is a pleas- you crying for, love? She— Over ;\ tb in u iith v o l d lire.—John F. Itunoiman in Saturday papa’s wedding present— boo— hon. I n A f t e r Y e a rs . 35 D o s t s ^ 3 5 C e n t s Itevlew. Husband— When we were married He— Why, what’s the matter with it? you confessed entire fnith in my ve She— It’s nothing but a receipted bill S t a t e o v O h i o , C i t y o v T o l e d o , | L u c a s C o u n t y , ( ’ racity, but now you don't seem to be for the gas we used up- during- our exact copy or w r a ppe d . F r a m e J. C h e n e y makes oath that he Is THX ccsT.ua c o m p . s v , vv leuaaav av. s e w vasa c i t y . I courtship.— Pick-Me-Up. t senior partner of the firm of F. J. C h e n e y & lieve a word I say. Co., doing bu.-ine-s In the City of Toledo, Coun W ife— Yes, but this is a progressive Uncle John— So you don't like your ty and State afore«aid, and that said firm will pay the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for age, you know, and even a confession teacher. Tommy? Tommy (savagely)—■ each and every case of C a t a k k i i that cannot he of faith needs to be revised occasion- j No, I don’t. I wisht he was at the cured b y the use of H a l l ’ s C a t a r r h C j j r e . ally. FRANK J. CHENEY. bottom of the s i« ! Uncle John— Oh, Swora to before me and subscribed In my come now, Tommy! That’s too much presence, this 6th day of Decemtier, A. I)., lbho. An Excusable Tip. A. W. GLEASON, ' to say. Tommy— Well, I wisht he j rkal j Notary Public. Bilkins— Seems to me the custom of was at the bottom of Jones’ mill pond, Color more goods brighter and faster colors than any other dye. One 10c package colors silk, wool and cotton equally wed and la tipping is spreading everywhere. It's guaranteed to give perfect results. Ask dealer, or we will send post paid at 10c a package. Write for free booklet how to dye. then.— Philadelphia Press. Hall’s Catarrh Cure is taken Internally, and outrageous! bleach and mix colors. MONROE DRUG CO., Unionville, Missouri. acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces Just resentment: Young Husband— Wilkins— In some cases it is excusa of the system. Send f r testimonials, free. ble. Bertha, did you ask the grocer to F. J. CHENEY <Si CO., Toledo, O. H e r P r in c ip a l C h a rm . Sold b y Druggists, 75c. “ I ’d like to know in what cases?” show you some o f those seedless besns .VI. J . S M I K L l >iS Cv C O . Hall's Family Fills are the best Jack— I can't understand women— “ Weil, you can’t get weighed without I was telling you about this morning? Growers and Importers of All Kinds of T H E F IS H B R A N D S LICK ER tipping the beam, you know.” Q riiH s a n d F ield S e e d s Young W ife— Yes, and if you want and I'm glad o f it. M a tte r o f L e n g th . A V A LU ED F R IE N D Dry ground, deep-rooting gras« se<;d4 thut Tom— Glad of It! Why? your slippers warmed before you put Husband (glancing over bill)— Why is we will guarantee lo grow on grou d that will “ A good many year* ago I bought a Jack— Because they wouldn’ t be half not produce cereals or any othei kind of gras*. The Senate judiciary committee of the them on you can warm them yourself, It you pay three times as much for Will make crop of hay atui pasture all seasons FISH B R A N D Slicker, and it ha* proven ao attractive if I could. California Legislature has unanimously sir. I won’t.— Chicago Tribune. stockings as I do for mine? of the year. Addreiw M J. Shield* & Co., I a valued friend for many a »tormy day, but Wife— Oh, that’s all right. I wear my reported in favor of the passage of an cow, Idaho. The Man— Your daughter telephoned now it i* getting old and I must have stockings three times as long as you do- anti-trailing stamp bill. A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES me to cal! and fix your piano. Her another. Please »end me a price-G*t.0 in g, Hllnd, Bleeding or Protruding Pile*. Father— W hat’s the matter with it? Y o Itch (The name of thin worthy doctor, obliged to br ont In all u r druggist w ill refund money i f P A Z O O IN T aorta of weather, will be given on application.) M E N T tails to cure you in t> to 14 days. 60c. The Man— One of the strings is S E V E R E K ID N E Y C A N MR M A D fc broken. Her Father— What will It HIGHEST AW KD WORLD’S EUR. ( . and WITH cost to repair the broken string? The Y e M o d e r n Statesm an . B L A D D E R T R O U B L E Man— Tw o dollars. Her Father— A- First Citizen— I think Mr. ItichmanD Well, here’s $5. Break the rest of must have political aspirations. TO W E R CANADIAN M ade in nil size« mid sty le * Second Citizen— Eh! Is he studying ’em.— Chicago News. COMPANY, Limited Write lor CaiA'ogs Toronto, Canada "P a w ,” aRked little Johnny, “ what's up on the constitution and American and Price* history? W e t Weather Clothing, Suits, and Hata for a compromise?” "That, my son,” re First Citizen— No, but he haa bought all kinda of wet work or sport plied the wise father, “ depends on a controlling interest in half a dozen whom it's made with. For instance, newspapers. Gen. Agfa. if I make a compromise with a busi ness man. I go about half way. But 313 fomm’l Blk if I make a compromise with your Portland, Ore. mother, why. I — er— I go all the way.” " )ie garden« and far m» are planted to ■— — Houston Chronicle. ^ S a ljt fr ’a Seed» than any other In W A meric». There 1 m reason for thin. "W h at do you think of Keats’ ‘Ode W e own over 6,000 acre» for the pro- [dilution o f our vt a r r iin lt M l »«*«•«!«. on a Grecian Urn?’ ” asked M rs Old iln order to Induce you to try them, vs o * make you the follow ing uupre- j Castle as they sipped their tea in the _ cedented offe r: magnificent library- “ I think,” her F o r I B C e n t o P-yttpeld loon ;:arly. Medium and Late tabbatfaa, hostess replied, “ if he'd of been a •¿non Kin« dairy I uraips, ‘¿'»on ItlnnehlMf Olery, gentleman he’d o f paid it. Josiah says '¿•»on Itlrh Dull) I,rimer, I am compelled by a sense of gratitude lo o » Hplrnnl.l U.ilt.i.s, people never ought to have luxuries to tell you the great good your rcnicilj loon Karr Luarlims U nPeVra, 1UO0 Gloriously Hrlillnnt Flower«. that they have to get trusted for."— has done me in acase of Contagious Blooc Above »even packages contain Btiffl« d e n t aeed to gio w 10.0(8» plant«, fur* Poison. Among other symptoms I was se Chicago Record-Hcmld. ni hlng b n a h e la o f b r i l l i a n t f l o w e r « anti ltd-* and lotaof choice "N ow , try to remember," said the verely afflicted with Rheumatism, and got vegetable», together with t.iir grisal catalog, tel 11 nif all about Flower*, teacher, “ that Horatius won his glory almost past going. The disease got a firm *~n*eH, Rmall Fruit«, etc., all for hold upon my system; my blood was thor i6c in »tam p« M od th la n o t l r e , by his performance at the bridge. Al oughly poisoned with the virus. I lost in Hi if 144Vpai(e catalog alone, 4c. ways keep that thought in mind and weight, was run down, had sore throat, 10HN A. SAUER SEED CO. it will help you to be brave and eruptions, splotches anti other evidence: M j , La C r o s s e , Wis. noble.” "H uh!” sneered Johnny, of the disease. I was truly in a bad shape “ that ain’t nothin’. Yon see my pa when I began the use of S. S. S-, but the W hich would y tsi» nnh» r, Unit a lion and m i at bridge almost every night persistent use of it brought me out of my trouble safe and sound, and I have the ate you or a tiger? A ns.— W h y, you ' In the week.” — New York Herald. FOR SEED courage to publicly testify to the virtues of would rather that the liou ate the tiger, Thousands of People Have Kidney Trou " I wish to get excused this after- your great blood remedy, S. S. S., and to o f course. 1 noon.” said Bizzlethorp, as ho ap recommend it to all blood-poison suffer ble and Don’t Know It is Catarrh. _____________________ The C H A T H A M F A N N IN G proached the general manager's desk; ers, sincerely believing if it is taken ac TO ClJRf A COLD IN ONf DAY MILL, with Sacking attachment, cording to directions, and given a fair “ you see they've put me down to act j They have T a ke l a x a t i v e H ro n io Q n ln ln e T a b le t« . A l l d r u g will clean and grade all kinds of I f It fa il« to «’lire . K . W as a pallbearer at a funeral." "Cor- | trial, it will thoroughly eliminate every gists re fu n d th e doctored Mr. David L . Jaycox, Chaplain particle of the virus. J a m e s C lIU AN , d r o v e ’s s ig n a tu re hi on each b o * . 26c. Grain and Seeds. The only machine | talnly; go ahead. But you don't seem with every (stark Hotel, Grcensburg, Pa. Clarinda, I. O. G. T , and Chaplain j that has screens and riddles mad: | to feel very sad about it.” "No. lie ’s G. A. R., 8fi5 Broadway, Oakland, j conceivable Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bi*g«r and ..... . Baby especially for cleaning grain on the I the fellow my w ife has always been drug, have Cal., writes: Painful swellings in the groins, redertm* Bigger, width of this interesting family Coast. To convince you that this holding up to me as a model.” — tions upon the skin, sorc-3 in the mouth is the biggest, and why the biggest? “ I am an old war veteran. I ron- • consulted all Grain Cleaner is as represented I will Chicago Record-Herald. of and loss o f hair and eyebrows, are some of Ans.— Baby Bigger, because he is a little traded severe bladder and kidney trou- j schools send you one on 30 days’ free trial Mrs. Pugh— Our minister says he is | the symptoms of this vile disease. S. S. S. »igger. ble. I spent hundreds of dollars and j medicine. and will pay the freight. j consulted a host of doctors, but neither • going to change the last part of the j is an antidote for the awful virus that It was not Write me for our Descriptive Cat- attacks and destroys even the bones. For forty year’ s Plso s C u r« fo r Con did me any good. service. Mrs. Knave— I>oes he think until Peru- sumption has cured cou gh * and cold*. A t alogue and “ on time” proposition “ Peruna has proven the best j na came into he can improve it? Mrs. Pugh— No, | S. 8. S. contains no Mercury, Potash or druggist*. Price ‘26 cen ts. other mineral ingredient. We offer |i,ooo —II will interest you. medicine I ever used. My pains use, however, that these old soldiers but he thinks it’s necessary. Instea 1 j for proof that it is not absolutely veget are gone and I believe myself to be W h en the eyes * r e hot and heavy found a remedy that would actually o f saying, "L e t us sing the Dnxoloey,” I able. Home treat : cured. I feel well and won Id not"} | cure them. he la going to say: "L e t us adjust our | ment book giving bathe them in cold or tepid w ater, and GEO. W. fOOTT be without a bottle in time of need More cases of catarrh of kidneys and Mad clothe«, slip on our gloves, grab our the symptoms and ! do not confine them too closely to any : sort o f work. der have been cured by Peruna than al for ten times its cost.” other interesting j Dept. 11 Portland. Oregon hats, forget all about the Lord, and other medicines combined. and valuable infor be dismissed."— Cincinnati Commer mation about this Address Dr. 8. B. Hartman, Presi Hundreds of war veterans have k id -! dent of The Hartman Sanitarium-, Co cial Tribune. disease, m a ile d n e v and bladder trouble. __________________________ free. Our physi Ns. 13 1905 P. H. U. lumbus, Ohio, and he w ill be pleased CBttt «Mist All list Milk. impure drinking water, sleeping on the It < '»Utfb ayrup. I iato« Good. Ui cians advise free A man usually gets what he deserve. to give you the benefit of his medical in tlcu«. IV .Id r y •Jri.ggl«**. pound, and all manner of esposures to g to a d v e rtis e r* p i« those who write ns. In the end. but he manages to get • W H m E N e n w t i o r itin n t h ■ l I* f paper. ~ ~ C O N S U M P T IO N w wet and cold weather produced catarrh of advice gratis. A ll correspondence held but o f other things In the meantime. Th* Swift Specifio Company, Atlanta, 6a, strictly confidential. C h e rry P e c to ra l Coughs,Colds Letters from Prominent Physicians addressed to Chas. H. Fletcher. A\ r(?e table Preparation for As slmilaiing the Food and Regula ting the Stomachs anti Bowels of Promotes Digeslion.Cheerful- ness and Rest .Contains neither nor Mineral. perfect Remedy for Constipa tion, Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea. .Convulsions .Feverish NEW YORK. GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS The Kind You Have Always Bought In Use For Over 30 Years. PUTNAM FADELESS ARMY CHAPLAIN 1 1 104 DYES $25 Per Day Austin Wel Brills BEALL I Co. 1 0 ,0 0 0 Plants for 16c. Clean Yo ur Grain sss -i P IS O S & rara?