That Auers A C m . o f In ter), re tallow. D O U G LAS JERROLD. “ What shall we do with the pris­ T h e y A r e G o v e r n e d b y I n a t i n c t , but oner?” demanded the spokesman of the S o m . o f t h . Caustic K e to r ta M a d . by T h a t In s t in c t 1 « F le x ib le . t h e F a tu o u s W i t . mob. “ Do thou, O royal chamberlain, When a prosy old bore stopped The recent English writer. Richard haste to the presence of his majesty Douglas Jerrold, who was hurrying on Kearton, says there is “ no such dead Is a C o m m o n Spring Trouble. and learn his wish." - li i , , ~ . ! level o f unreasoning instinct” In the U . ■ a The'roysl chamberlain hurried to the Ur* * “ ‘ f h o bo,U* T alo‘\* Regent street. sign that the blood is deficient u n t . m o . w n p M > j g i n m u i h i p l v o u n i w k a a i . l W ith m u ic tin ii **Y \ n i l I . *>•••■ >1,1 m e animal world as Is popularly supposed, | The derrick Isn't handsome, but It presence and bowed himself thrice to with the question, “ Well, Jerrold, my In vitality, just as pimples and other and he seems to base the remark upon has an uplifting influence.— Philadel- the floor. Then he asked the mon- dear boy, what is going on?” “ I am!" One dose of A y er’s Cherry eruptions are signs that the blood the fact that he found certain o f the phia Record. Pectoral at bedtime prevents arch's pleasure regarding the desperate retorted Jerrold, shooting past like an arrow from a bow. is impure. cavities or holes In a bay rick where nient c ou gh s o f children. New Year's; First Resolution— How outlaw, Also to contribute to n third sub No croup. No bronchitis. I t ’s a warning, too, which only the sparrows rooked lined with feathers, are you feeling? Second Resolution— "A w ay with him, said the king in a scrlption which was being got up for and others not lined, writes John Bur­ hazardous fail to heed. Broke — Life. ! loud- harsh volce- a reckless Grub street writer, Jerrold roughs In Outing. Such departures Father (from top of staircase. - J , Bu* the ^ »m b erlaln was something cried Impatiently, “ How much does the from a level line of habit as this are Ethel. Is that young man gone? Ethel” ° f a h" T rl* a " J w U‘M he " “turned to fellow want this time?” "W ell, this common enough among all creatures. . „ „ __.y_it . the mob he laughingly announced that, In regard to the misdoings of the pris- time I think just four and two naughts Instinct Is not something as rigid as - A w f u l funuy. p a .-G rit. "D o you think Banks ever fo o le l his ouer the klng had gald only that it was will put him straight." “ Put me down cast Iron; it does not act like a ma­ Remove it, give new life, new coui» for one of the naughts!” d o c t o r ’s m e d ic in e f o r all I know it. He ..a way w |tdl jjin) .. chine, always the same. The animal is w ife successfully? age, strength and animation. A lawyer, replying to the toast of his affections of the throat, bron­ j whereupon the mob reluctantly re- something alive, and Is subject to the married her.” — Detroit Free Press. They cleanse the blood and clear the law of variations. Instinct may act health drunk at a dinner of artists, chial tubes, and lungs. Sold “ What Is worse than owing moniy leased its quarry, complexion. more strongly In one man than In an­ you can’t pay?” “ Being owed money | But in trying to explain the joke to stammered out that he did not expect for over 60 years. the honor, us law could hardly he con­ •• I hare need Ayer's Cherry Pectoral In my A ccept no substitute. other, or as one animal may have you can’t collect.“ — Cleveland Ledger, the obtuse king the royal chamberlain fainilr for eight years. There is nothing eqtial sidered one o f the arts. whoreu|H>n Jer " I felt tired all the time and could not greater speed or courage than another to it for coughs and colds, especially for chil­ Miss Snowflake— What did Jim Jack- became confused and completely lost rold interjected oue word only, dren."— M rs . W. 11. liUYMKK. Shelby, Ala. sleep. After taking Hood's Sarsaparilla 3 t the same species. It would be bard aon git married for? Miss Washtub— his head.— Baltimore American. "Black!” J/C. ATSR CO.. 2*.. Sto., f 1.00. a while I could sleep well and the tired to find two live creature«, very far up Law d only knows— he keeps right on Lowell. Muss. All druggists. A clergyman who was indecorously T h e M is u s e o l " i y u i i e . '* feeling had gone. This great medicine has In the scale, exactly a nice. A thrush workin'!— Puck. “ Quite” strictly means "completely" and uncharitably denouncing tbe |a>or also cured me of scrofula.” Msg. C. U. may use much mud In the construction She— Do you think that a woman and is rightly used in such sentences for the number of children they bred R oot , Gilead, Conn. of its nest,, or If may use little, or none can truly love but ouce? He— Well, wound up with the opinion that the H o o d 's S arsaparilla p rom ises to at all; the oriole may weave strings If that's the ouly chance she has—yea! as "Th e flower is quite faded.” Its secondary meaning, “ very,” “ to a great real evil o f the times was "the surplus K eep th e b o w els op en w ith ono o f cu re and keep s th e prom ise. into its nest, or It may use only dry- — Detroit Free Press. extent," has the authority of good population.” Jerrold nodded a hearty A y e r’s Pills a t b e d tim e . Just o n e. grasses and horse hair; such cases only- “ Papa, will you send me to Europe writers, though such expressions as assent, "Certainly, the surplice popula­ show variations In the action of in­ D e c iim n t w it h T h a n k s . T h e M a n w ith t h e H o ! H o ! to study music?” “ No; you can study "quite young” and "quite hot” have a tion!" stinct. ‘There's one song iu the Prodigue,” Dribbles— Did you get a check for I love the ringing of music of a cheery, It here, and I'll send you to Europe to colloquial ring about them. There is, But if the oriole should build a nest hearty laugh, however, springing up of late the slov-! cr*e*l * musical bore to Jerrold, "which that poem you scut to Blank's maga­ practice.” — Houston Post. I'or it routs the imps of worry as th# like a robin or a robin build like a enly practice of employing the adverb always carries me away.” "Would I zine last month? “ Never tell a secret, dear. It would cliff swallow, that would be a depart­ Scribble«— Yes. (lot it by return mail. breezes scatter chaff. "quite” with a noun—e. g „ "quite a , oould 8i“ S It!” ejaculated Jerrold. Dribbles— For how much? And there's not a scene of gladness ure from instinct to take note of. Or be a great breach o f confidence.” Scribbles— Oh, not much; only three If the whippoorwill and its allied spe- “ What must I do with It, mamma?” panic ensued." I f an adverb can mod-1 known to mortals here below lfy a noun, where is the distinction * GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES words written with a blue pencil. Etit is made a little gladder by a merry cies in Europe should perch across the “ W ell— bring It to me!” — Madame. druggtut will refund money it fazo o in t - ho! ho! ho! I limb Instead of lengthwise of It or Father— But do you think you can between ainerb and adjective? As a | Your Mh.NT tans to cure you in 6 to 14 days, òde* or merriment s a singer, and laughter ! the wood duck nest in marshes and the make my daughter happy? Suitor— matter of fact, the functions of the is his song, marsh hawk nest In trees, then, indeed, Happy! Say. you should Just have adverb seem to be encroaching on Growers and Im porters of A ll Kinds of T h e L a n d o f G o ld . And where the singer singeth the happy Q r iis i* a n d F ie ld S e e d s would the dead level of Instinct be vio- seen her when I proposed!— Brooklyn those o f the adjective.— Loudon Re­ The Yukon territory, which pilor to angels throng, view. Dry ground, deep-rooting grans seeds that 1898 formed a part of the Northwest we w ill guarantee to grow on grou d that w ill I' or in all celestial anthems nothing ! lently wrenched. Orgunlc life in all-its Life. produce cereals or any other kind of irrass. forms Is flexible, the habits of all the M acaroni W h eat. Territory, has an area of 190,97« not sweeter is, I trow, Mamma— Don't lounge that way, W ill make crop of hav and pasture all seasons Salzer’s strain of this Wheat is the kind square miles, 190,327 being land and of ths year. Address M. J. Shields & Co.. Mos­ Thau the melody that lures in a ho! ho! animals change more or less with Tommy. Sit up like a man. Tommy— .. .____ . which laughs at droughts and the ele- ho! ho! ho! changed conditions, but the range of „ „ The population is esti­ cow , Idaho. Why, mamma, men sit down, it s only menta and positively mocks Black Bust, 049 water. fluctuations in the lives of the wild dogs and rabbits that sit up.— Phila- that terrible scorch! mated at 12,000, of whom 7,200 are iou are feeling rather weary— *tis an oft- creatures Is very limited and is always It Is purely a mineral delphia Press. It ’» 8ure ° » yielding 80 bushels of finest Americans. recorded tale— Wheat the sun shines on per acre on good country, and has produced since 1885, determined by nwkward circumstances And you fancy trouble’s demons all are and not by Individual volition, as It so Teaspout— Why are you so angry 111., l a., Mich., Wis., O., Pa., Mo., Neb. CAN BE MADE W ITH camping on your trail. with the doctor? Mrs. Teaspout — ¡lands and 40 to 60 bushels on arid lands! when the output of gold was first re­ often Is in the case of man. corded, to the end of 1903, $97,003,500 Till you meet the man of laughter, with When I told him I had a terrible tired ° _r“n1 u"?..’” seCta’ no tallure- Catalog lulls all about it. in gold. Dawson, the capital o f the his cheery ho! ho! ho! feeling he told me to show him my And, some way, as you listen, all the Yukon territory and the residential tongue.— Exchange. Made in all sizes and style« haunting demons go! and commercial center of what Is com­ W rite for Catalog» Hoax— They say the sultan o f Tur­ Then you vow this old planet is a place and Prices monly known as the '•"'■'ndlke, has a key scares his wives nearly to death. of joy and cheer. population o f 3,500 persons of various J V S T SENP 10c AND T H IS NOTICE And there’s pleasure in reflecting that Joax— Y’ ea; I ’ ve always heard that he nationalities, the Americans, with you now are living here was a harem-scarem sort of fellow.— to the John A. Salzer Seed Co., I .a Crosse, 2,450, forming 70 per cent of the total. Wis., and they will send you free a sample And you wouldn’t for a fortune lose your Philadelphia Record. Gen. A|t>. of this Wheat and other farm seeds, to­ grip on things below— gether with their great catalog, worth Srnlggs— There goes a man who has All because you hear the music of a 313 Coram'l Blk done much to arouse the people. JUKI.00 to any wide-awake farmer. [P. C. L.J ringing ho! ho! ho! Portland. Ore. Brnaggs— Great labor agitator, eh? The K in g o f Molluska. Smlggs— No; manufacturer of alarm Two angels walk upon the earth, walk The king of mollusks lives in the In­ daily to and fro, clocks.— Chicago Ledger. dian and South Pacific oceans. He at­ The oue is clail in robe« of white, the Mrs. Henpeek— This paper says that tains to a weight of 500 pounds, and ” I followed th. one in garb of woe. trail from Tesas married women live longer than single the shell Is of the bivalve kind, and the Bears the The voice of one is laughter; the other's ones. Mr. Henpeek— Heavens, wom­ shape is about the same as that of our Signature o f is a sigh. Í C / U M Slicker, used for an! Can’t you think of something common fresh water mussel. The gi­ Joy is the one; the other woe; for souls an overcoat when cold, a wind coat pleasant to talk about?— Borrowed. of men they vie; gantic Trldacna Is the largest niollusk when windy, a rain coat when it rained, Third Hail. And the one comes running, running, and for a cover at night if w e got to bed, Bronchitis.— Dip a small sponge In Freda— He claims to be related to known to have lived on the earth since Eastern Man Visiting In the West— and I will u v that T * have gotten more summoned by the witching spell the Siltirlan Age. It Is found on the methylated spirits and gently sponge yOU, and says lie can prove it. Floyd— comfort out t of your alicker »lie than any other Has the third rail reached your town O f the rippling notes of laughter that one article that owned." r 1 ever ------- the chest and throat with it several Related to me? Why that man’ s a bottom o f the »hallow parts of the yet? the spirit’s rapture tell; ( Th* B AB « O B * Addr«M Of UM Freda— Of course, but that may ocean, and the large individuals have writer of thb ntuoilciUd Ut­ While the other straight is driven from times a day. It will give almost Imme­ fool. Western Man— Sure thing! We rode ter may te had on application.) no longer the power to move about. diate r e lie f and help to clear the be a mere coincidence.— Illustrated the souls It haunts below a man out o f town on Monday, another W e t Weather Garment» for Riding. They lie on one side, and all about • Bits. By the ringing and the singing of a ho! throat. man on Wednesday and tbe third was Walking, Working, or ho! ho! ho! ho! Sporting Mrs. H ayrix— Them air Japs must them the corals build up until King rode out o f town to-night.— Yonkers Th« Siam of th« Vkk The Treatment o f Bunions.— Bun­ be kinder hard up for somethin’ tew Trldacna Is sometimes found in a Statesman. A . J. T O W E R CO. W e all love the music of a cheery, hearty ions do not readily yield to treatment, reed. H ayrix— Why so, Mandy? Mrs. well like hole In the coral formation. noaro«, u.a.A. 'y T N L i C J laugh—• St. Nicholas. but I have found that the following That’s a Fact. T O W E R C A N A D IA N To spirits bowed with trouble ’tis a method has been successful In many H ayrix— This paper says they went “ Capital and labor should go hand In an’ took a lot uv Russian magazines.— CO., Limited, Between Friends. heaven-given staff— cases; A fter bathing the foot, apply Exchange. TOKOKTO, OAKAPA /Jgff g g j j O Joe— You look out of sorts this mora- hand,” remarked the moralixer. But our burdens seem so heavy as ws this preparation: Tincture of Iodine, "Trim,” rejoined the demoralizer, “ but pass them In review Nervous Old Lady (on seventh floor ing, old man; what’s wrong? the trouble is too many men are trying _ Fred— Oh, family trouble*. That we often let another do the laugh- 1 one ounce; tincture of aconite (made from the root, not the leave.), two “ o teD -D o you know what precau- Joe— Well, I'm sorry to hear that. to get capital without labor.” At any rate, it’s so with me, for I ’m drama. Put the liquid on with a cam- J tlona the proprietor or the hotel ha* Nothing serious, I hope? $100 Reward, $ 100 . of brittle clay, el's-hatr brush and allow it to dry on. 1 taken against Are. Po er es, mum, Fred— I'm afraid it is. I had a misun- Th e readers o f this paper w i l l be pleased to And haply it is so with you, although I , It may be applied dally. A piece o f j be **as the jdace^nshoored^ for^twice derstandlng with my rich uncle last learn that there it* at least one dreaded disease ^ More (rariienR and fai'iim are planted to ^ Q*£ht. tiie t science has been able to cure In all lta do not say; I wool should be Inserted between the wot it’s worth.— Pittsburg Gazette. ^ hHal*er’8 8e**ou the following uupia. i Jest bln bunkered out uv every dura cedented offer: " Y e * , ” remarked th e mun w h o occa- I ment. H a ll'a ca tarrh cu re 1 » taken In tern a lly, his ho! ho! ho! ho! ho! ,, , „ „ . „ . 1 1 , *,_____ , , actin g d ir e c tly upon the blood and mucoua cent! The Policeman (irritably)— Well, Foe IB Omni* Pomtpmid — New Y'ork Times. * . ° n . „ e,S OUt 0D ^ aD a d d ib le th ou gh t, . >urlace, 0 ( the system, thereby destroying the 1 10OO Karly. Meillum anti LateCabbo«««, Onions for Colds.— Do all mothers don't holler to me, you come-on! I It IS. 1*2000 Pint 2nlry I urn Ip«, I fou n d ation o f the dlaeaae, and g iv in g the '«OOO HliMklsi Celery, "W hat ’ti* that I»?” queried the party ‘ lent strength by bmlldini up the constitution know bow valuable onions are a9 a ain’t no magazine publisher!— Tuck. B o u n d to K e e p t h e G ir l. tOOO lclet» N ullt Letture, ti, . „ i u . . . , •. v and assisting nature in doing its work. The 1 0 0 0 S p le n d id ò n ic i. « , th „he rubber habit. J proprietors have so much faitn in Its curative Mrs. Suburb—J think Mrs. Lawnmow remedy for children's colds? Never be Mrs. Watkyns— Henry, 1 want a dol­ with UNIO Kare Laaeinu« ItadUhe*, 1000 U lo r l« u « ly ltr .ll» ...t H o w « r * . powers th at th ey otter One H undred liollars “ It is easier to cut an acquaintance must have a girl at last. without onions in the house, and also lar this morning. Mr. Watkyns— Great Above “even package* contain oiifll- ' for any case th at it falls to cure. Send for list Mr. Suburb— Why? dent *eetl to grow 10.000 plant*, fur- oil of some kind. Camphorated oil Is Caesar, woman! I>o you think that I lhan it Is to carve a steak with a restau­ o f testim onials. niching t»ii«h e l« of* b r illia n t rant knife,” explained the noisy thinker. Address. F. J. C H E N E Y A CO., Toledo, O. Mrs. Suburb— I hear her giving some generally the first remedy to use upon flo w e r « ami lots and Iota of cimice am made of money? When you want Bold by druggists. 7fic. vegetable*, together with our great one a lesson on the piano. catalog,telling all about Flowers, the appearance of a cold. Warm a lit­ large amounts you ought to let me f l T Q Permanently Cured. No fits or nervousness H a ll's F am ily F ills are the best. Hone*, Binali Fruito, etc., all for tle and oil the chest and back (as tbe know 24 hours In advance.— Somer- 1 I I 0 alter first day's use of Ilr. Kline's 11 real Nerve ite in 8tamp* and this n otice. Restorer. Send for F r e e s t trial bottle and treatise. Big 140 page catalog alone, 4c. T h o s e K it u iitii N a m e s. lungs come as near to the back as to I v l||e j ournal. Dr. K. H. Kline, Ltd.,931 Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa. JOHN A. SAUER SEED CO, Crimsonbeak— Is it wrong to talk! the chest), then oil the Dose and soles r.o.L. La e r o » « « , W la. Irate Employer— See here, you young It is unlawful in France for any per­ with the mouthful? of the feet. This will often be all that Rip Van Winkle, I only hired you yes­ son to give solid food to infants that Yeast— Why. certainly It la. Is necessary; but if It is not, make an terday; and I believe, 011 my soul, are under one year old, miles* on the "W ell, how Is a man to talk about onion syrup by slicing raw onions and you've been asleep around here ever prescription of a physician. those Russian generals, then? You covering them well with sugar, and aince! Sleepy Joe— That's what I The Russian government has estab- can t apeak their names without hav- putting them in the oven until they though you wished, air. Here's your fished half a dozen model farms for the IbX a mouth full!— Yonkers Statesman, are well shriveled up and the Jutce ex­ advertisement; “ Wanted— An office cultivation of cotton in different parti 7T ~ " tracted, then give a teaspoon occasion­ M The One Exception. boy, not over 16; must sleep on the of Turkestan. Columbus, Ohio, May ao, 1903. ally. For older children make the ------------------------ i Muggfl— 1 lie Chines« claim to have in- Six years ago I had a severe attack of premises."— New Orleans Tlmes-Dem- By counting the hairs on a square inch Tented nearly everything, Inflammatory Rheumatism. Iw aslaidu p syrup 8-v ruP of ot treacle lre" c,e by slicing " llcln* up UP an onion ocrat. of the human scalp, a Frenchman has Buggs— Well, judging by the way they in bed for six months, and the doctors I '‘ "d PUtt'nB It to boll In half a cup of estimated that the number of hairs on the wear their hair, they didn’t invent foot- had did me no good. They changed med- golden syrup. When the onion la well K e n t u c k y M o u n t a i n S c h o o ls . head of the average man is 127,1)20. ball. icines every week and nothing they pre- cooked, strain, and give a teaspoonful Teaching school in the Kentucky ------------- ---------------- I ------------------------------ scribed seemed to help me. Finally I be- nf 0f the syrup ayrup as needed. I f the cold mountains has never been easy work, ecribed H a i l H e c n T h e r e H c f ,ir e . For bronchial troudes try Piso’s Cure ean the theuseofS.S. ^an use of S. S. S. My knee and elbow sepml geems very tight, roast onions, then lay and It is a question whether the long- Meescnger Boy Here's a package fo r for Consuniiitioit. It is a y.H.d rough r p r o swollen CTTri PT1 TPrnhlV O M M at O f one OT1#» ' ^ loints n were terribly, and .. . __. m ed icin e . A t d ru g g is ts , p ric e 25 cents. who strives mentally . T0», 8ir- time my joints were so swollen and pain- thera n naP ^ n and P°ur warm oil suffering _______ _ dominie _ Wedderly— So? What is it? ful that I could not close them when over thorn, ana put on the child n anj physically with the fresh, uncut- .lu s t C a u g h t. Messenger Boy— I ’m not sure, sir, but opened. I was so bad that I could not chest. This should always be tried In tured native product that is brought Husband— I don't believe that fish i* „ . . . . . . , 1 think it’s a birthday present vour wife move knee or foot. I was getting discour- severe cases. under his care, does not at least bear ordern. "H e has been a Journalist, a coal an.l coke at Tokyo. The bank other strong min- asked the friend. a giver of advice, a regent has contracted to pay tin* sum of erals, but ia” guar- “ Oh. yes." responded the girl in the la b la n wilderness has not undergone rensnrer, a n te e d entirely gingham dress. " I had two when pa a very marked advance over those first o f sovereigns, s tutor o f nations. The 1._*< S . 4 1 1 , 1 y e n at the eml o f 250 of the depositor vegetable, iWrita caught that city fellow kissing m e ” — primitive conditions; while the native Bicetre is the fittest place for people years. ” The 'u- father ' Drpt. 11 Portland, Or«fon , human type Is still characterized by o f that stamp." Suppose Napoleon was a Jinrikisha man, mid he himself «a and oar p h y s i­ Kennebec I Me.) Journal. cians will advias tha old-time carelessness, uonchalance, lived to-ilay. with his every thought was an Ice boy some twenty years ago. withoat any and acorn for the trammel» of latter- anticipated in tbe newspapers! Some Lately the fattier lost a ship in a M ach the E asier Task, charge whatever, good newspaper advice might have storm. The ship had been Insured for P. N. U. 8o. 11 1 «05 "Mary, my love, thing, are ao beast­ day civil Isa tlon. Onr book on R h e » saved him In the Russian campaign 3.000 yen. The money received from ly bad, don't yon think you might bava m a tia m seat free. I f you can't go to call on a friend and later at Waterloo.— New York the insurance company was deposited ( v i f l l K N w r it in g t o s d Y « r t l a « n p l e « M | a try at making your s>wn clothes?” j iV m **n ilon t h is p » p « r . I Tka Swift S p a lt « Cawpsay, A tl.aU , fta, |o behalf of his posterity. “ O George, pet, I don’ t think I ’m without finding a clue, stay at home. Tress. I f you can't walk up street without clever enough for that, but I ’ll tell you what; I ’ll hava a try at making " ~ ln* a rlu,‘ ' ,hrow I«'" - * * ''' int" p* PISO S CURE FOR ^ y o u r e r — Modem Society. . riT' r Tbe worl'1 wo,,ld '*** br‘ t* r n * ___________ ! with every susplclons-mlnded person ln lim«. Sold br dr Tha way o f tha traoagraaaor U bard out O f It. and he ahoilllln't wait till ro to r mors caoJs brlvMrr o n * faster rolor, thae MW ollirr dvr. One fOt pa k,._, colirs »¡Hi, wool and rollon equally well and I* C O N S U M P T IO N «" - • « bla frianda. the lea on tha river melta, either. K 3 T*2 d dhlg P',M‘ " ,0t * Wriu ,or ,rM »• * « • NO REASO N SH O W N BY BIRDS. Tired Feeling A C h e rry P e cto ra l H ood’s Sarsaparilla and Pills for Night Coughs M . %!• S H I E L D S A C O . $25 Per Day Austin Well Drills BEALL i Co. C For A Infants S TO R IA and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought On the Trait •with a Fish Brand IV^ sh '^ rand Pommel Slicker [10,000P lan ts fo r I6c . SM Clean Your Grain FOR SEED i GEO. W. EOOTT PUTNAM FADELESS DYES