GUILTY OF GRAFTING T U R N IN G P O IN T R E A C H E D . For Infants and Children. AL C O H O L 3 PLR CEN T AVcgelabíe Preparatori for As — Both Are Permitted Their Bears the sirailaiúi^iiieFbojandRrtuti lin¿ (lie Sumada andßuwek oí Liberty on Bail. Signature of Prom oles Di$esttonJChenfii! n e s s and Rest.Contains o t t o Opium.Morphine norMiixraL N o t N a r c o t ic . A ape o f Old JkSOdDmMM flnppku Seed- JUJama* In Use For Over Thirty Years AcMefdi- JtoseStd ♦ fig x . JfimSeeJ- Aperfect Remedy forConsR(« t lo n , Sour Stomach.Diarrhoea W orm s .Convulsions .Feverish n e s s and Loss OF SU£P. Tac Simile Signaturr of NEW YORK. A l b m o n t h s o ld J 5 D o s e ? t 3 5 C e n is Exact Copy o f Wrapper. T H E C EN T A U R R O M P A N T . N E W YO R K CITY. Trace P r o fe s s io n a l A d v ic e . of th e Teddy B ear. When it sits up on its haunches, in a pose for catching flies; When it ogles you, my children, with its wicked little eyes; When it reaches out caressingly, Its fore- paws in the air------ That is the time of peril, dear! No truce with the Teddy Bear! Physician— You’ll have to be careful tlrt* summer and not overexert /o u r ­ P e c u l i a r H in d o o D r u m s . self. Drums used in Hindoo religious pro­ Patient—Then you think I ought to cessions are called doles. They are take a vacation, eh? Physician— Certainly n ot Didn’t- I made of baked earth, and sometimes Just tell you not to overexert yourself? a yard long, and twice as large at the center as at either end. Kettle drums T h e C o n v e r s a t io n o f C o in . are thin copper basins or bowls, cov­ “ Money talks,” said the succinct per­ ered with parchment or calf-skin, son. which Is held In place by an iron hoop. “ Yes,” answered Miss Cayenne, “ and some o f It seems at present to be quite H e a d q u a r te r s fo r I n fo r m a tio n . gossipy and scandalous In Its remarks.” Dicky— You don’t b’lieve that story — Washington Star. about Little Red Riding Hood an’ the wolf, do you? A great irrigation project involving an Kitty— Course I do. expenditure of about $25,000,000 has been Dicky— Well, if you’ll Jist write to authorized by the Secretary of State for Pres’dent Roosevelt an’ ask him about it India. he’ll tell you it’s a fake. w o r s t T h in g : About Them . N o F ears. “ Appearances,” remarked Mrs. Iligh- Manufacturer (showing him around the mufl, “are so deceitful.” “ I don’t mind that so much,” sighed workshops)— With our improved machin­ ery we can make one of these giant fire­ Mrs. Ambish, “ but they’re so expensive crackers every minute in the day. to keep u p !” Visitor— Aren’t you afraid you will During the lifetime of a healthy hen overstock the market? Manufacturer— Not at all. There’s a she will lay from 300 to 500 eggs. Her best laying capacity is during her second fool born everv minute. year. H er F a ilin g . Sixteen out of the twenty-one English “ What a chronic blunderer Mrs. Hit- coronations that took place between Wil- , tefmiss is ! She had several engaged liam II. and Elizabeth, both inclusive,) couples at her house for dinner the other were held on a Sunday. evening, and she didn’t do a thing but pair them all off wrongly.” K n e w B e tte r . “ Yes; she doesn’t seem to know how to Nan— O, that story looks too long. I put two and two together.” don’t want to read it. Fan— Yes, you do. It’s a story about A perfect head, viewed from the side, a woman you don’t like. falls within a perfect square, averaging nine inches for a man, and eight and a Japan has very few millionaires and half for a woman. practically no multi-millionaires. O ID S O R E S FED AND KEPT OPEN B Y IM P U R IT IE S IN T H E B L O O D W h en ev er a sore refuses to heal it is because the b lo o d is n ot pu re and healthy, as it sh ou ld be, b u t i3 infected w ith p oison ou s germ s or som e o ld blood tain t w h ich has corrupted and p ollu ted th e circu la tion . T h ose m ost nsnally afflicted w ith o ld sores are persons w h o h ave reached o r passed m id ­ dle life. T h e v ita lity o f th e b lo o d and stren gth o f th e system h ave naturally begun t o decline, and th e p oison ou s germ s w h ich have accum ulated because of a slu g g is h and in active con d ition o f th e system , o r som e hereditary taint w hich has hith erto been held in ch eck , n ow force an outlet on the face, arms, legs o r oth er part o f the b o d y . T h e place grow s red and a n g ry, festers and eats in to the su rroun din g tissue u ntil it becom es a ch ron ic and stu bborn nicer, fed and k e p t open b y th e im purities w ith w h ich the b lood is saturated. N othin g is m ore try in g and disagreeable than a stubborn, n on-healin g sore. The v ery fact that it resists ord inary rem edies and treatments is g o o d reason for su sp icion ; the same g erm -p rod u cin g cancerous ulcers is back o f every Did sore, and especia lly i3 th is true if th e trouble ia an inherited one. W ashes, salves, n or indeed a n y th in g else, applied directly t o the sore, can I t . . d o a n y perm anent g o o d ; neither w ill rem ov- fco T “ four y e a r .’ standing? ’ 'iT i n ? th e sore w ith cau stic plasters o r the • rssssm allpim pla at fir.t b ut it s u rg e o n ’s k n ife m ake a la stin g cure. If Y l S S S every particle o f the diseased flesh w ere alarmed about It and consulted taken aw ay another sore w ou ld com e, be- treated me bnt th o'sire o o n in u e d cau se th e trouble is in th e b lood , and the CAH M OTBECU T AW AY. s.s.s. and aftor takln? It a w hile I waa T h e cu re m u st com e b y a th orou gh cleans- In ? o f th e b lo o d . In . S. , S . S . w ill b e fou nd o w p n r o a n d u B E itn y Cronx th© « , . , « , ” t o f S . S . S .f a n d t h e r e h a s n o t a rem edy fo r sores and ulcers o f every kind, lE ife m X lu *0r* “ lno® n is an unequalled b lood purifier— on e that g o e s d ir e c t ly in t o th e c ir c u la tio n a n d THOS. O W E S W est U nion, Ohio. p r o m p t ly cle a n s e s it c f a ll p o is o n s a n d ta in ts. It g e t s d o w n t o th e v e r y b o t to m o f t h e tr o u b le a n d fo r c e s o u t e v e r y tra ce o f im ­ p u r it y a n d m a k e s a c o m p le te a n d la s t in g cu re . S . S. S . c h a n g e s th e q u a lit y o f t h * b lo o d s o th a t in ste a d o f fe e d in g th e d ise a se d p arts w it h im p u ritie s , it n o u r is h e s the Irritated, in fla m e d flesh w it h h e a lth y b lo o d . T h e n t h e s o r e b e g in s t o h e a l, n e w flesh is fo r m e d , a ll p a in a n d in fla m m a tio n - “ ~ p u rified t h e b lo o d the J s to r e s . : s p e c ia l b o o k o n s o r e s a n d u lc e r s a n d a n y o t h e r m e d ic a l a d v ic e tO tt d e s ire . W e m a k e n o c h a r g e fo r t h e b o o k o r a d v ice . PURELY VEGETABLE r 6an Francisco, Aug. 20.— John A. Benson and Dr. Kdward B . Perrin were yesterday convicted of conspiracy to defraud the United States government in securing 12,000 acres of land in Te- lmma county. l h e verdict, which means a fine and term of imprisonment, was returned by a jury in the United States District court after being out about an heur. Benson and Dr. Perrin were allowed to retain their liberty on hall. Judge De Haven set Thursday as a day for passing sentence. J. C. Campbell made the closing ar­ gument for the defense at the morning session, and in the afternoon United States District Attorney Devlin cloeed for the prosecution, summing up the case in a forcible manner. In his charge Judge De Haven instructed the jurors that if they found from the evi­ dence that Dr. Perrin had at any time subsequent to October 31, 1903, taken advantage of the contract w ith Benson he should be found guilty as cliarged. After the jury had been out about half an hour they filed back into court and asked for a reading of letters Perrin wrote from Washington, Snell’ s reply and that part of the charge relating to Dr. Perrin’ s liability in connection with the Benson contract. A verdict was returned within ten minutes after the request of the jury had been granted. Dr. Perrin took the verdict very hard and was comforted by his two sons. Benson appeared to be dumfounded at the result. The punishment provided by the stat­ ute is a fine of not less than $1,000 nor more than $10,000 and imprisonment for not less than two years. Chicago, Aug. 19.— Important devel­ opments in the strike of the Commer­ cial Telegraphers are looked for today by both disputants. Confident lf)|t the strike lias spent its force, and that the turning point has been leeched, the telegraph companies look for a stam­ pede o f the strikers to regain their (or mer positions. Cheered by the reports they have re­ ceived from the various cities afferted, the strike leaders on the other hand are prepared to prosecute the fight more vigorously than ever. Aaccording to advices received at union headquarters, the messenger boys and check clerks in New York are scheduled to go out today. Broker firms throughout the country have been given until Doon today to Bign contracts with their operators or suffer the conse­ quences of a walkout. , Three hundred operators employed by the Ameircan Telephone A Telegraph com pany throughout the Southwest may be called out before night, unless a 10 per cent increase in wages is grant­ ed. This is one of the trump cards which President Small expects to play. If the order is issued it w ill isolate Chicago from the rest of the country, so far as telephonic communication is concerned. KEEPS C O R P S E S LIKE LIFE. Young Italian Blacksmith Finds New Method o f Preservation. G A S T O R IA L o n g e v ity . "My State,” said the Virginian, “ is the mother of Presidents.” “ Yes,” said the Ohio man, “ but the Old lady has outlived her boys half a century or more.” JURY OUT ONLY HALF AN SOUK Aged Defendants Hard Hit by Result THE S W IF T SPECIFIC C O .. ATLANTA. G A , W. L. DOUGLAS * 3 . 0 i f l 0 r e r A i o e * s 3 . 5 0 8 H O E S « J ffl U for every member of THE FAMILY. AT ALL PRICES. * 2 3 ,0 0 0 \ TH E REASON W . L . Douglas shoe« are worn by more people fa ail walks of life than any other make, is because of their eseeUent style, eaey-fittfng, and superior wearing qualities. The selection of the leathers ami other materials for each part of the shoe, and ererY detail of the making is looked after by the most eompleteorganiintion of superintendents, foremen ana ■killed shoemakers, who receive the highest wages paid in the Shoe industry, and whoee workmanship cannot be excelled. s into my mv large factories at Brock Brockton.Mass., If I could t ike yos ton. Mass, and show you how caref carefully W . I*. Jtongla* shoes are made, you would then onder»tai»d ta.id why they hold their shape, flt better, wear longer r and ami are of greater value than any other make. M w * 4 * m c o m m m ** * * M B w m *O hmmm mmsmmt h e t p w W i 0 mi a q y s r R s W H . L. I — Douglas stamps _ his _ name and I price on the bottom to protect y o u against high prices Bnd inferior shoes. T a k e 71 o HutMfttnte. Sold Id by *“■ the “ best ‘i t i shoe dealers every where. j u t Csisf k yftfU Mifii m geksiwlb ( tfe/iy *wet< Lived la Vletlat'a Skall. Win Fight. Benson and Perrin Convicted ol (¡A S T O R IA Fraod Against Government. The Kind You Have Always Bought V A T U U STORIES BY PLAGUE IN FRISCO . Board o f Health Takas Drastic M eas­ ures to Isolate Patients. San Francisco, Aug. 19.— Five cases of bubonic plague, four of which have resulted in death, have been reported to the Health department within the past week. The patients, with one ex­ ception, were of the poorer class of foreigners dw elling in the neighbor­ hood of the old Chinatown. The ex­ ception was a foreign sailor taken from a coastwise steamer. Prompt and active measures were taken by the local, state and Federal authorities, and Bpread of the disease is not feared. Both President Jules A. Simon, of the health board, and Health Officer James T. Watkins stated today that the situation is well in hand and no occasion exists for alarm. The in­ fected steamer was ordered into quar­ antine with her passengers and will so remain until released by the Health department. The two shacks inhab- ited by the other patients were fum i­ gated, locked up and sealed. The bodies of the two Mexicans, Ital­ ian and Russian Pole, who succumbed, were destroyed in quicklime. President Roosevelt's attacks upon the authenticity o f other person's na­ ture stories and the men who tell them may lead to International complications If continued, for to-day several new brands o f anecdotes o f animals came to town, and the authors are ready to stand up for tbelr rights aud their ver­ acity. On board the British freight steam­ ship Indrapura, In port from Japan aud India, la Chow, a chow dog. Chow would rather fight tbau eat, aud be demonstrated bla predominating desire on several occasions during the 30,000- mile Journey that the Indrapura, under Captain Kelway'a command, ended upon her arrival In New York. Be­ sides Chow, the Indrapura boasts o f Tyaer, a wire-haired Irish terrier, aud Pickles, a gamecock. Said Mr. Wain- wrlght, first officer of the Indrapura: "A ll this talk about nature faking la rot. for I can tell you things that-hap­ pened on this ship that neither Presi­ dent Roosevelt, Dr. Long. Mr. Roberta, nor Chaunoey U. Depew has ever seen. You wouldn't believe, for Instance, that the gamecock can clean the deck In ten seconds o f every living thing. And Mr. Roosevelt would perhaps not be­ lieve that Pickles has a habit of Jump­ ing on the back o f Chow, digging his spurs Into the Chinese dog’s hide, and then calmly attempting to pick Chow' eyes o u t The last time we rescued the dog It took the entire crew o f forty-eev en Lascars to get Pickles from bis back. We tried to clip Pickles’ spurs, but they resisted the sharpest knife, and finally the smith shaped some metal enpa, nice­ ly rounded, so aa to make the spurs harmless. “ Next day Pickles began plcklDg the dog In the port aide with hla beak. He kept It up every day for a week, aud then he switched to the starboard aide. Finally one day the howls o f the chow dog again resounded through the steam­ ship. Pickles was In hla accustomed place, bla cupped spurs dug deep luto boles which he had picked, and be waa again trying to pick out Chow’s eyes.” Vivian Tuthlll, the Indrapura's third officer, told a nature story about a snake and a monkey which he got at Singapore and which fought a battle to the death. The snake was a beauti­ ful reptile o f the garter variety, and the monkey was a bushy-faced little fellow o f sweet temper and great agil­ ity. One morning the snake and mon­ key were found In dendly battle. The monkey was killed and the anake crawl­ ed Into Its skull and circled about In It, entering in at one eye and out of another. Finally he got all knotted up and died. Mr. Tuthlll dried the outfit under the fierce tropical sun In the Red Sea and to-day he shows hla friends the fantaatlc souvenir o f the bleuched monkey’s skull with the little snake, practically petrified, still entwined through the monkeys’ head. Second Engineer Fraser, of the freighter Indravelll, lying almost along­ side the Indrapura at the Bush stores in South Brooklyn, told o f a battle be­ tween a cheetah on hoard the Indra- velll and a bulldog In this harbor. If Roosevelt decides against the cheetah as an easy victor over a bulldog be will have to do so over the words o f seven British marines, stanch and true. The cheetah was chained to the port rail on the sun deck and wus uncon­ cernedly washing hla face as the two men discussed him. " I ’ve got a dog that can do that cat in about two minutes,” said the long­ shoreman. “ Bring along the dog,” said the steve­ dore. The cheetah paid no particular atten­ tion to the dog when the latter was let go and made for the chained animal. It went calmly on wiping its face in its morning ablutions. The dog wag with­ in a foot o f the cheetah when the latter iuddenly raised both big front paws, -aught the bulldog between them at the neck and In a twinkling ripped him jpen. The cheetah then continued bla washing exercises as If nothing hud happened.— New York Evening Tele­ gram. Pinkerton Diet at 8 ea . New York, Aug. 19.— Robert Pink­ erton, head of the detective agency bearing that name, died at sea Monday on the steamship Bremen. He was en route to Germany in the pursuit of health. The cause of death was fatty degeneration of the heart. Robert Pinkerton was cne of the two principals of the Pinkerton Detective agency, this T h e S c h o o l o f E x p e r ie n c e . organization having never incorporated. Stevenson says In his essay on "Youth During the last 25 years, he has been in charge of the New York agency, and Crabbed Age” that when the old G om p ers’ Aid Aaked For. Washington, Aug. 2 0 .— President while hie brother, W illiam A Pinker­ man reproves the youth aud points hla folly by snylng: “ I thought so, too, Samuel Gompres, of the American Fed­ ton, resided in Chicago. eration of Labor, today reported to the when I wus your age,” lie la reully prov­ executive council of the federation that Shah o f P eisia H elpeae. ing the case o f the youth. This Idea, he, John M itchell, of Indianapolis, and Teheran, Persia, Aug. 19.— This un­ that youth must keep to Its own kind Daniel J. Keefe, of Detroit, had been happy country is in a com plete state of of wisdom and cannot take to Itself intrusted by united labor with an at­ anarchy. The new shah is entirely ready-made the wisdom o f age, appears tempt to bring about “ a.i honorable ad­ helpless, having lost even the power of In a dialogue which the Chicago Trib­ justment o f the telegraphers’ strike at veto, which most constititional men- une prints: an opportune tim e.” Mr. Gomper* archs reserve to themselves. Being "Daughter, you ought not to wear was asked when he thought that time without money, he cannot get out of those high heeled shoes. They will would arrive, and replied that he could his difficulties, and he has to act en­ not say, but that it might b e . 'a t any tirely at the orders of the revolutionary make corns on your fe e t” “ How do you kuow, mamma?!* houcr, or perhaps not at a ll.” party. Obeying their commands, he "B y experience. 1 used to wear them has withdrawn his uncle, hitherto gov­ Muat K ow Tow» to M r. Ish|i. ernor of Ispahen, from his post. The when 1 waa a girl.” “ Did grandma tell you they would Seattle, W ash., Aug. 20.— A bulle­ revolutionaries are crazy on the sub­ make corns on your feet If you wore tin in the dock offices of the immigra­ ject of reform. them?” tion offices gives this laconic instruc­ "She found out by experience, Just Sentence Is D sfsrrsd. tion to inspectors: “ K . Ishii, Japanese diplomat, may pass through Seattle. San Francisco, Aug. 19.— The sen­ as I did.” “ Hadn't the any mamma to warn her Kow tow to h im .” Japanese Consul s. tence of Vice President Zimm er, of the Hismidsu left lastTnight for San Fran­ Pacific Telephone A Telegraph com ­ against wearing them?” cisco to meet Ishii snd bring him to pany, for contempt of court in refusing "Oh. yqp.” Portland and Seattle. He ie com ing to answer questions in the first trial of "But site wore them, Just the same?” here to investigate consular and labor Louis Glass was deferred Saturday un­ "T o be sure.” conditions and immigration officers have til Tuesday by request of his attorney, “ And you did, too?” received word he must be treated with who was unprepared for argument. “ Y es; that was wbat I waa telling consideration. The force was given the Zim m er's attorney, Charles H. Fairall, you.” word in the dock office bulletin. has raised the point that the verdict of "W ell, If I ever have any daughters guilty cannot stand, aa the jury waa I ought to be able to give them a warn­ Taft Favors Revision. discharged before it was recorded. ing against high heeled shoes from my Columbus, O ., Aug. 20.— W. H. Taft, awn experience, oughtn't I?” secretary of war, tonight made what he R ecord P rict fo r Rants. Then abe put them on. was pleased to term bis “ political con­ New York, Aug. 19.— Nine leading fession of faith ” at Memorial ball. companies affiliated with the Steel cor­ Mr. Taft made no formal announcement poration has leaved four floora of a Oahe Gaaball (on ttie southeast cor­ of his candidacy, but he was introduced great office atrocture which the Hndson ner o f the dry goods b o x )— It most be by Governor Harris as the next presi­ Tunnel company is erecting at the tur’bie t’ be ketched out In a brain­ dent of the United States, which was Church street terminal, for which they the signal for a prolonged burst of ap­ will pay a record rental of $50,000 for storm. HI Hemlock (on the southwest plause. He reiterated his previous each floor, oi $2,400,000 tor 10 years’ corner o f the dry goods b o x )— W’y, declaration that he is in favor of tariff lease. This ia ra d to be the largest all a feller'd hev t’ do 'ud be t’ h’lst one o’ them paranoias, in ' be'J never rental paid anywhere on earth. know 'twux rainin’.— Puck. Stomach Full of Frogs. Tremont, Pa., Aug. 20.—- Frogs' eggs imbibed in spring wa*er by Mrs. W al­ ter K sodlich, o f West Schuylkill, near­ ly proved fatal. The warmth of the body caused the eggs to hatch instantly, and the little frogs thrived to such an extent as to cause an internal obstruc­ tion. An operation was necessary to save Mrs. K andlicb’ s life. Double Track Great Northern. Seattle, W ash., Aug. 19.— 1$. H. Homeland, chief engineer of the Great Northern, announced here tonight that the line on the west slope of the Rock- ire tween -Whiteflsh and Summit, would be doable tracked and a large irtion of it entirely rebuilt. Mr. He ogeland haa just completed an inspec­ tion trip over that te rrito ry . W ell Meant P r a r .n . Sydney Smith declared that the chil­ dren o f Bishop Pblllpotta use,I to end tbelr usual prayers by praying for Earl Grey, explaining that “ papa tells us It Is our duty to pray for our greatest enemies” — txmdon Spectator. No man need feel hurt If people say he is not good-looking. S a g a c ity or lla v a a s . A case o f remarkable sagacity la a pair o f ravens Is related In the Field. Tw o collie dogs were bunting rabbits and the ravens were soaring overhead. As the doga drove the rabbit out Into the open near the top o f a bill It ran straight Into a trap and waa caught. A t the dogs came near the ravens came down and by loud croaking managed to drive away both. They then started to devour the rabbit, which they quick­ ly dispatched. “ Hamper.** The word "bumper,” meaning a drinking vessel, derived its origin from the Roman Catholic religion. It waa the custom In England in an­ cient times to drink the health of the Pope after dinner In a full glass of wine. This was called “ au bon pere,” from which we have the contraction "bumper." Leak la Small Numbers. “ I hear,” said Hi Tragedy, “ that while you were playing In one o f the country towns a fire broke out In the theater.” “ Yea,” replied Low Comedy, “ and there might have been a horrible panic but for one thing.” “ What was that?” "■■»here weren’t enough people In the house to create one.” Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup the beet remedy to use toe their children during the teething period. s Banking by Mail W E PAY 4% INTEREST On aarlnga deposits ot a dollar or more, compounded twice every year. It ie just as eaar to open a Savings Account with ua by Mail aa it you lived next door. Send for our free book­ let, “ Banking by Mail,” and learn full particulars. Address O regon T rust & S av in g s B an k P ortland, O regon Sixth and Washington Sts. Castor. P o o r T h in * . “ I don’ t suppose Miss Passay ever had any beaux when she waa a young girl.” "No, she was too dignified and old- fashioned.” “ And the men don’t like her now, either.” "No, she’s too kittenish now.” — Phil- adelphia Ledger. N ot A lw a y g S a fe . Borem— Hello, old man! What'« ths matter? You look disgusted. Cutting— Yes, I feel that way. Borem— Why, what have you run up against now? Cutting— You. I didn't see you soon enough to escape.— Philadelphia Proas» Shake like Your Shoes A llen '. Foot-K . m . A powder. It m ake, tight or new .h o e . (eel easy. It l a s certain curator sweating, callous and hot, tired, aching feet. Bold by all Druggists. Price 2.V. Trial pack* age mailed FRhE. Address Allen 8. Olmsted, LeBoy, hew York. “ Don’t you think a man ought to tell his wife all about his business affairs?” W ily W om an . “ I should say not. A friend of mine “ Women are such convenient liars,” who was about to start on a journey bor­ rowed $50 from a rich old uncle and then declared Mr. Jefferson Judd. "When told his wife of it. lie was wrecked at the Wigginses were here to dinner you sea, crushed In a railway collision, or kept saying Mrs. Wlgglna didn’t eat something of that sort, and when his wife enough to keep a bird alive. You kuow collected his life insurance, of course, she that wasn't no.” felt bouud to pay back that loan.” “ Well,” retorted Mrs. Judd. “There's different kinds o f birds. You may C I T O 8 t* ‘V ,*U8’ P a n c e anti all N erv ou s Diseases || I A rer m a n e iitiy cu red b y Dr. K lin e ’ s Great have had a canary In your mind while N e r v e R estorer. Hend for F R E E 92trial bottle and I was referring to an ostrich."— Kun- treatise. D r. R . H . K lin e , IxL M l A r ch Bt., PU U a.,P* saa City Times. H la K a * y J o b . “ Isn’t this a wearisome «ort of occu­ pation?” asked th. customer. "You have to remember so much, and answer so many questions.” “ Not at all, madam,” answered the book store salesman. "All 1 have to remember la the titles, names of authors, and prices." “ You sell a great many of the popular novels, don’t you?” "Yes, ma'am, but I don't have to read them.” Don’t Push T h e horse can draw the load w ithout h elp, i f you reduce friction to almost n oth ing b y app lyin g I W Ic a A x U ~ jre a ^ e i N o R ig h t to C o m p la in . “ See hero I” cried the Irate man. "I purpose to sue you. Look at my bead! You professed to cure------ ” "W alt a minute,” Interrupted the maker o f Fakeley'a Balaam; “ we ad­ vertise merely that we cure partial baldness and not------ ” "W ell, I was only partially bald when I started using your stuff; now I haven't a linlr!” "W ell, then you're cured o f your par­ tial baldness, aren't you?" t o th e w heels. N o oth e r lu bri- 1 can t ever m ade w e a rs s o lo n g and saves so much h orsep ow er. N e x t time try M ica A x lx G rcasx . S t a n d a r d O il C o . « « D a n c e .* * It Is a strange fact that the word “ dunce,” meaning a stupid person, comes from the name o f one o f the most eminent scholars o f his time. Duns Scotus. In tlie Reformation the works o f the schoolmen fell into disfavor with the reformers, and Duns, who was the leader o f the schoolmen, was often spoken o f with scorn by the votaries o f the new learning. As time went by the name o f Duns became a byword for utter itupldityr^ No W ay O at o f It. Rouget de Lisle wus composing th* Marseillaise. “ It seems to be up to me to do some­ thing of the kind,” he said. “ The people have grown tired of hearing ‘There’ll Be a Hot Time in the Old*Town To-night,* and they’re hollering for something fresh.” Endeavoring to make it musical and catchy, and as unlike “ Hail, Columbia,” as he possibly could, he tousled up his hair, sawed a few more notes on his vio­ lin, and proceeded to grind out the rhymes to fit them. E Write Us n g r a v in g PLATES TOR PRI NTI NG HICKS-CHATTEN Portland Oregon p Al N L E SS[ ) tN T IS T R Y BRING YOUR TO O TH TROUBLES TO US Before Going Elsewhere. DR. B. E. WRIGHT. 342% WaahingtonSt. Portland Oregon* ST. H E LE N ’S H A LL PORTLAND. OREGON A Girls’ School of the highest class. Collegi­ ate department. Music. Art. Elocution. Gym­ nasium. Fall term opens September 16. SEND TOR CATALOGUE f /s iM / / D is c o u r a g e d . Lovely Fancee— Oh, George, I some­ times think I would rather die than be married ! George— What, darling! Rather die? Lovely Fancee— Yes; you don’t have to rehearse half * dozen times for that, you know. M ore D an cer A head. ••Captain,” sajd the frightened passen­ ger, “ haven’ t you got a big load of people on this boat?” “ Yes, sir,” gloomily answered the cap­ tain of the excursion steamer. “ And that Isn’ t the worst of it. As soon as we reach St. Joe a good many of them are going to double up for the return trip.”— Chicago Tribune. T E N T H A N D M O R R IS O N S T R E E T S PORTLAND. OREGON A . R. AR M STR O N G , LL. Quality ia our motto- and send each student to a position when com­ petent-'-many more calls for help than we meet. Individual instruction insures rapid prog­ ress. AU modern methods of bookkeeping are taught; also rapid calculations, correspondence, commercial law, office work. etc. our shorthand — easy, rapid, legible. T h « b a st k in d o f a t e s tim o n ia l — “ B old fo r OT«r s i x t y i/ers The Well-Known Reliable CHINESE DOCTOR Root and Herb Has made a life study of roots snd herbs, snd in that study discovered snd Is giving to the world his won­ derful remedies. No Mercury, Poison* or Drug* Used—He Cures W ithout Operation, or Without the Aid ol a Knife. Hs guarantees to Cur# Cstsrrh, Asthma, Lung. Throat, Rheumatism, Nervousness. Nervous Debil­ ity. Stomach. Liver. Kidney Troubles: also Loaf Manhood. F emale Weakness and All Frivato Diseases A SURE CANCER CURE Just Received from Peking, China Safe. Sure and Reliable. IP YOU ARE AFLICTED. D O N T DELAY. D ELAYS ARE DANGEROUS. If you cannot call, write for sympton blank and circu­ lar. Inclose 4 cants In stamps. C O N S U L T A T IO N THE y e a r s .” Æ ftABSAPAKIUjL CflFJfRY PECTORAL. Beautiful C. Gee Wo by J. O. A y r Co . Lowal! A i N a u o u fa e t u r a r i o f PILLA Chartier ia catalogue, business forms and penmanship free. A. Hair Dressing Nearly every one likes a fine hair dressing. Something 10 make the hair more manage* able; to keep it from being too rough, or from aplitting at the ends. Something, too, that will feed the hair at the same time, a regular hair-food. Well-fedhair will bestrong, and will remain where it belongs— on the head, not on the comb! PR IN C IPAL W e educate for success, P. C. GEE N. U. ¡W FR EE WO CHINESE MEDICINE CO. I 6 2 J First St.. Cor. Morrison. Portland, Oregon Please Mention This Paper. Na 34- 07 HEIT w ritin g to a d v e rtise rs p le a se m en tio n Ih la paper.