■ ARMY CHAPLAIN S E V E R E KID NEY and BLADDER TR O U B L E t JJoK^ She— I understand that Sarah Ann married a struggling young man. He — Yes, he struggled all right, but he | couldn't get away. Dolly— He’s one o f those men who ! w on ’t take no for an answer. Madge — What are you going to do? D o l l y - Why, tell him yes.— Town Topics. Friend— What is hope? Poet— It's something that wakes you up at four i o ’clock In the morning when the post­ man doesn’t come around till ten.— Ham's Horn. He— My father Is a banker, and has ; never been Inside a theater In his life. She— Really? My father is an actor, and has never been inside a bank in i his life.—Judy. For hard colds, bronchitis, asthma, and coughs o f all kinds, you cannot take any­ thing better than A y e r ’ s C h erry P ectoral Cherry Pectoral. Ask yout own doctor if this is not so. He uses it. He understands why it soothes and heals. " I had n terrible couch for weeks. Then I took Ayer’s (.'herrr Pectoral and only one bottle completely cured me.” Mas. .1. Ii. JD ankouth , St. Joseph, Mich. 25«.. 80c., SI.00. All druggists. J . O. A Y K K C O ., for Lo w ell . Mass. Coughs,Colds Newrlch—H ow ’d you get along at Y ou will h a ste n recovery by ta k ­ I the dinner? Mrs. Newrlch— Fine. in g o n e o f Ayer’« Pills a t b e d t im e . When they eat pie with a fork, I done ; it, too, so as not to let ’em see their A n E x c u s a b l e T ip . Thousands of People have Kidney Trou­ break.— New York Run. Bilkins— Seems to me the custom of Judge— The next person who inter­ tipping is spreading everywhere. ble and Don’t Know It is Catarrh. It’ s rupts the proceedings o f this court outrageous! ! will be expelled from the room! Prls-| Wilkin«— In some cases it is excusa­ They have j oner— Hoo-ray! Whoopee-ee! Now, ble. Mr. David L. Jay cox, Chaplain doctored “ I’d like to know in what cases?” | lemme go!— Chicago News. with every Clarinda, I. O. Q. T , and Chaplain “ Well, you can’t get weighed without I Rank President— W e’ re ruined! The tipping the beam, you know.” G . A. R ., 865 Broadway, Oakland, c o neeivable cashier has absconded with one hun- -------------------------------------- ■ — r T W M i m * i„ a drug, have Cal., writes: i dred thousand dollars. Director— consulted all “ I am an old war veteran. I con­ tracted severe bladder and kidney trou­ Don’ t get excited. He has left a note M . J . S H I E L D S A schools of C O . ble. I spent hundreds of dollars and offering to take us Into partnership, Growers and Importers of All Kinds of medicine. consulted a host of doctors, but neither Q r a s s a n d P lo l d S e e d s It wat not i Mrs. Oatcake (reading newspaper)— I Dry ground, deep-rooting «rats seeds that did me any good. until Peru- , Gracious me! Mr. Murdock has been we e will guarantee to grow on ground that will “ Peruna has proven the best not produce cereals or any other kind of grass. na came into arrested. It was discovered that he Will make crop of hay and pasture all seasons medicine I ever used. My pains use, however, that these old soldier» had twenty wives, and all are living! of the rear. Addreee M. J. Shielde ft Co., Moe- are gone and I believe inyself to be cow. Idaho. found a remedy that would actually Farmer Oatcake— O-oh! another case cured. I feel well and would not cure them. o f Brlgham-y.— Puck. be without a bottle in time of need More cases o f catarrh o f kidneys and blad­ Boarder (warmly)— Oh. I know ev- for ten times its cost.” der have been cured by Peruna than all # .. . . , . . . T H E FISH BRAND SUCKER other medicines combined. e r j OQ* o t the W c k l o f ^our trade. Address Dr. 8. B. Hartman, Presi- 1)0 7 °u 11111111 1 have lived ln boarding- A VALUED FRIEND Hundreds of war veterans have kid­ dent of The Hartman Sanitarium, Co- l10118^® twenty years for nothing1 ney and bladder trouble. *‘ A good many yean ago I bought a ^ lumbus, Ohio, and he w ill be pleased Landlady (frigidly)— I shouldn’t be at Impure drinking water, sleeping on the FISH BRAND Slicker, and it has proven ground, and all manner of exposures to I 8ive you the benefit of bis medical a11 surprised.— New Yorker, S valued friend for many a stormy day, but wet and cold weather produced catarrh o f I advice gratis. All correspondence held “ Let me see, a cynic Is aman who now it is getting old and 1 must haw the kidneys and bladder. ! strictly confidential. la tired o f the world, ¡ h he not?” the another. Please send me a price-list. ” young student o f language asked. (T h e name o f th is w orthy doctor, obliged to be out In all •o n * o f w eath er, w ill be siren on application.) All cruelty springs from hard-hearted When the eyes are hot and heavy “ No, no, my child,” replied the know­ ing tutor; “ a cynic !s a man of whom RICHEST I f f ARB WORLD’S FAIR. 1904. ness and weakness.— Seneca. bathe them in cold or tepid water, and do not confine them too closely to any the world is tired.” — Pick-Me-Up. A . J. T O W E R CO. sort of work. The Senator— Why mustn’t I vote Boston, U. 8. A I for that bill? Constituent— Because T O W E R CANADIAN 2* A GUARANTEED CURE EOR PILES the people don’t want it. Senator. The COMPANY, Limited ^ Ifcltltur. Blind, BIordiiiK or Protmd1 mj Piles. Toronto, Canada 'O R Your driiKtrlst will refund money If PAZO OINT- Senator— What have the people got MKNT f»ilH to cure you lri 6 to 14 days. 50c. j to do with it? Ain’ t election over, W e t Weather Clothing, Suits,Rnd Hata for all kinds of wet work or sport hey?— Louisville Courier-Journal. Y e M o d e r n H ta tea m n n . A fter the wedding: He— W hat are First Citizen— I think Mr. Uichmann you crying for, love? She— Over must have political aspirations. I am compelled by a aeitse of gratitude wedding present—boo— boo. Second Citizen— Eh! Is he studying papa's to tell you the great good your remedy up on the constitution and American He— Why, what’s the matter with It? has done me in aca.se of Contagious Blood history? She— It's nothing but a receipted bill Poison. Among other symptoms I was se­ THE CHATHAM First Citizen— No, but he has bought verely afflicted with Rheumatism, and got a controlling interest in half a dozen for the gas we used up- during- our courtship.— Pick-Me-Up. almost past going. The disease got a firm newspapers. Uncle John— So you don’t like your hold upon my system; my blood was thor­ oughly poisoned with the virus. I lost in 8 tat * or O h io . C ity of T oledo , i teacher, Tom my? Tom my (savagely)— weight, was run down, had sore throat, L ucas C ounty , | * ’• No, I don't. I wlsht he was at the F rank J. < hknky makes oath that he is eruptions, splotches ana other evidences senior partner of the firm of K. J. C hknky & bottom o f the sea! Uncle John— Oh, o f the disease. I was truly in a bad shape Co., doing Business in the City of Toledo, Coun­ come now. Tom my! That’s too much when I began the use of S. S. S., but the ty and State aforesaid, and that said firm will persistent use of it brought me out of my pay the sum of ONE I ll’ N DRKD DOLLARS for to say. Tommy— Well. I wlsht he and every case of C atarrh that cannot be was at the bottom o f Jones' mill pond, trouble safe and sound, and I have the each cured by the use of H all ’ s C atarrh C l r k . courage to publicly testif y to the virtues of FRANK J. CinCNKY. ' then.— Philadelphia Press. Sworn to before me and subscribed In my your great blood remedy, S. S. S., and to Jnat resentment: Young H usband—» presence, this 6th day of December, A. D., 18I#>. recommend it to all blood-poison suffer­ Bertha, did you ask the grocer to A. W . GLEASON, ers, sincerely believing if it is taken ac­ | gJtAL | Notary Public. show you some o f those seedless beans cording to directions, .and given a fair I I was telling you about this morning? trial, it will thoroughly eliminate every m , FOR SEEP -- Hall’s Catarrh Cure is taken internally, and Young W ife— Yes. and If you want particle of the virus. J ames CuMLftN. acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces your slippers warmed before you put of the system. Send for testimonials, free. — . . — nshurg, Pa. Stark Hotel, Greens F. J. C H 1N E Y A CO., Toledo, O. them on you can warm them yourself, T h e C H A T H A M F A N N IN G Sold by Prugvihts, 73c. sir. I won’ t —Chicago Tribune. Hall's Family Fills are the best. M ILL, with Sacking attachment, Painful swellings in the groins, red ern-'- The Man— Your daughter telephoned «rill clean and grade all kind, of tions upon the skin, sores in the mouth T h e Senate judiciary com m ittee o f the me to call and fix your piano. Her and loss o f hair and eyebrows, are some of Grain and Seeds. T he only machine the symptoms of this vile disease. S. S. S. California le g is la tu r e has unanim ously Father— What’ s the matter with It? that has screens and riddles made is an antidote for the awful virus that reported in fa v o r o f the passage o f an The Man— One o f the strings Is especially for cleaning grain on the an ti-trading stam p bill. attacks anil destroys even the bones. broken. Her Father— What will it Coast. T o convince you that this S. S. S. contains no Mercury, Potash or cost to repair the broken string? The Grain Cleaner is as represented I will other mineral ingredient. We offer #1.000 Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Her F a t h e r - tend you one on 30 days’ free trial for proof that it is not absolutely veget- Syrup the best remedy to use for their children Man— Tw o dollars. and «rill pay the freight. Well, here’ s $5. Break the rest of — able. Home treat- during the teething period. ment book giving ’em.—Chicago News. In A fte r Y ea rs. Write me for our Descriptive Cat­ the symptoms and “ Paw ,” asked little Johnny, “ what's Husband—When we were married alogue and “ on time'* proposition other interesting a compromise?” “ That, my son.’ ’ re­ —it «rill interest you. and valuable infor­ you confessed entire faith in my ve­ plied the wlee father, “ depends on mation about this racity, but now you don’ t seem to be­ whom it's made with. For Instance, disease, m a ile d lieve a word I say GEO. W. FOOTT free. Our physi­ W ife— Yes, but this la a progressive If I make a compromise with a busi­ cians advise free age, you know, and even a confession ness man. I go abont half way. But Dept. I t Portland. Oregon those who write ua. of faith needs to be revised occasion­ If I make a compromise with your mother, why. I—er— I go all the way.” Tbs 8wtfl Specific Company, Atlanta, 8 * ally. • — Houston Chronicle. r HUMANITY Clean Your Grain sss