The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930, June 07, 1918, Image 3

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    New Houston Hotel
Sixth and Everett Sts., Portland, Ore.
Four blocks from Union Derwt. Two blocki
from Mew Postoffice. Modern and fireproof
Over 100 outside rooms. Rates 76c to $2.00. .
v.. nj. j. i imij, malinger.
Veal, Pork, Beef,
Poultry, Butter, Eggs
and Farm Produce,
to the Old Reliable Everding house with a
record of 45 years of Square Dealing, and
be assured of TOP MARKET PRICES.
4M7 Front Street, Portland, Oregon
Broadway at Flanders, Portland, Or.
t.r--IU till' llUt,u,lP1 hrn.(..rv
No buck-breaking. Thousands now in
use. Self wringing. Simple and prac
tical. ' Full direction with each mop.
nil wriwn ir vimwitH hand, orbgon
Tou corn-pestered men and -women
need suffer no longer. Wear the shoes
that nearly killed you before, says
this Cincinnati authority, because a
few drops of freezone applied directly
on a tender, aching corn or callous
stops soreness at once and soon the
corn or hardened callous loosens so it
can be lifted out, root and all, with
out pain.
A small bottle of freezone costs
very little at any drug store, but will
positively take off every hard or soft
corn or callous. This should be tried
as it is inexpensive and is said not
to irritate the surrounding skin.
If your druggist hasn't any freezone
tell him to get a small bottle for you
from his wholesale drug house. It is
fine stuff and acts like a charm every
time. Adv.
Bad Finish.
"This Hindenburg Is always talking
about his drives."
"Yes," commented the man who
wears a golf cap to work. "He makes
some big drives. But he doesn't seem
to be any good on the putting green."
Putting Art In Artillery.
Teacher, to current events class
Now, Willie, can you tell me what is
the largest gun the Germans use?
Willie I I ve heard how it s er
Teacher Correct, Willie. Cartoons
Language of Flowers.
Orchids You're out of your class.
Roses You can't afford to get mar
ried. Violets Better pay your room rent,
my lad.
Jonquils Big show for the money,
old top. Kansas City Journal.
A Warning.
"If you find your master in
minating condition, don't go
a ru-
"Why, sir? Is it ketchin'?" Ex
change. WANTED MEN and WOMEN In honorable
enterprise; good pay. Send stamp and reference
in first letter. Baggalyl& Barnes, Waveland, Ark.
ma Granulated Eyelids,
! Rv. inflamed htf eitno-
lure to Sua. Dust and Wind
quickly relieved by Murine
EveBemedv. No Smarting.
In Eva Comfort. At
Druggist or by mail 50c per Bottle. Marine
Eyt Salve in Tubes 25c. For Book el Ihe Eye
flEB uk Marine Eye Bemedy Co., Chicago
xr & v 3f M
Your Beauty Doctor
P. N. U.
No. 23, 1918
Sapolio doing its
Join Now!
Near Both
Hotel Hoyt
Corner Sixth and Hoyt Sts., Portland, Ore,
LOU HIMES. Manager.
RATES. 76c to (2. BPECIAL Week or Month
Thousands of trained young- people needed.
Behnke-Walker Business Colleire. Portland, nlaeea
students in positions. Enroll any time. Free
Hides, Pelts, W Wool & Mohair
Wt wul til iwt kin. Write fu Prim nCStimki Tap.
Portland, Ore., Seattle. Wn.. Belllneham, Wn.
White Leghorn Baby Chix
from heavy laying (Hoffanized) Btock. $10.00
per 100. We guarantee safe arrival.
415 Sixth Street Petaluma, Cal.
Nortonia Hotel
llth and Stark.
Portland's Leading Family Hotel
' when in the city.
An Excellent Dining Room
in connection
A Difficult Case.
Old Gentleman What are you cry
ing for, my little man?
Boy Boo-hoo! I'm lost! I'm lost!
Old Gentleman There, there, my
boy. You mustn't give up hope so
soon. Where do you live?
Boy I don't know. We moved to
day. Boo-hoo!
Old Gentleman Well, what's your
Boy Don't know that either. M-m-mother
married again todayl Pass
ing Show.
Don't Worry About Pimples,
On rising nnd retiring gently smear
the face with Cuticura Ointment. Wash
off the Ointment In five minutes with
Cuticura Soap nnd hot water. For
free samples address, "Cuticura, Dept,
X, Boston." At druggists nnd by mall.
Soap 25, Ointment 25 and 50. Adv.
A Monotonous Existence.
"And your daughter has left her
"Yob. He had n consideration
whatever for the dear girl. He nei
ther smokes nor plays cards and he al
ways wants to stay home at night"
First Tommy "Blime me if I ever
knew these Frenchies had so much
Second Tommy "No?"
First Tommy "Why, every last
mother's son of them can speak
French." Milestones.
Rhetorical Emphasis.
"Don't you think there is too much
tendency to profanity in conversa
tion?" "Yes. And it's going to be worse.
I understand the government is going
to open up more canals. And that
means more mules." Exchange.
To keep clean and healthy take Dr.
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets, lhey regu
late liver, bowels and stomach.
Would Save Time,
"Can you tell me the nearest way to
Boylston street?
"C-c-certainly. If you'll j-j-Just-t-t
Say, I c-c-can go with you and sh-sh-
show you quicker than I c-c-can say
it." Boston Transcript,
More Appropriate.
"Why do they call them dental par
"Why not?"
"I should think it would be more ap
propriate to call them drawing rooms.
Baltimore American.
Proper Crops Only.
People who sow seeds this year
should be extremely careful not to
sow any seed of sedition. The crop is
not a paying one, as things stand in
this country. Pathfinder.
Yea, Jim, Until You Kick In.
Jim "Your wife does know how to
dress, old man. You have to hand it
to her for that"
Tim "Yes, and also foot the bills.
It Would Be.
"I have a letter from Bill, who is
somewhere in France, and he says he
has such trouble in learning French,
"Yes, I dare say his difficulties iri
speaking to the natives are pro
nounced." Exchange.
work. Scouring
Lorps recruits.
who wear
1 this
00 Rooms
100 Baths
-i w
. -WHO
"Over the Top" is a true
story of trench warfare on
the French front, written by
an American soldier who
got into the great war two
years ahead of his country.
Sergeant Empey tells what
the fighting men have done
and how they have done it.
He knows because he was
one of them. His experi
ences are grim, but they are
thrilling, and they are light
ened by a delightful touch of
From Mufti to Khaki.
It was In an office in Jersey City,
was sitting at my desk talking to
lieutenant of the Jersey National
Guard. On the wall was a big war
map decorated with variously colored
little flags showing the position of the
opposing armies on the western front
In France. In front of me on the desk
lay a New York paper with big flaring
headlines :
The windows were open and a feel
ing of spring pervaded the air.
Through the open windows came the
strains of a hurdy-gurdy playing in the
street "I Didn't Ealse My Boy to Be
a Soldier."
"Lusitania Sunk I American Lives
Lost I" "I Didn't Raise My Boy to
Be a Soldier." To us these did not
seem to Jibe.
The lieutenant In silence opened one
of the lower drawers of his desk and
took from It an American flag which
he solemnly draped over the war map
on the wall. Then, turning to me with
a grim face, said:
'How about it, sergeant? You had
better get out the muster roll of the
Mounted Scouts, as I think they will
be needed in the course of a few days."
We busied ourselves till late in the
evening writing out emergency tele
grams for the men to report when the
call should come from Washington.
Then we went home.
I crossed over to New York, and as
I went up Fulton street to take the
subway to Brooklyn, the lights In the
tall buildings of New York seemed to
be burning brighter than usual, as If
they, too, had read "Lusitania Sunkl
American Lives Lost!" They seemed
to be glowing with anger and righteous
Indignation, and their rays wigwagged
the message, "Repay 1"
Months passed, the telegrams lying
handy, but covered with dust. Then,
one momentous morning the lieutenant
with a sigh of disgust removed the
flag from the war map and returned
to his desk. I Immediately followed
this action by throwing the telegrams
Into the wastebasket. Then we looked
at each other In silence. He was
squirming in his chair and I felt de
pressed and uneasy.
The telephone rang and I answered
It. It was a business call for me, re
questing my services for on out-of-town
assignment. Business was not
very good, so this was very welcome.
After listening to the proposition I
seemed to be swayed by a peculiarly
strong force within me, and answered,
"I am sorry that I cannot accept your
offer, but I am leaving for England
next week," and hung up the receiver.
The lieutenant swung around in his
chair, and stared at me in blank aston
ishment. A sinking sensation came
over me, but I defiantly answered his
look with, "Well, It's so. I'm going."
And I went
The trip across was uneventful. I
landed at Tilbury, England, then got
Into i string of matchbox cars and
proceeded to London, arriving there
about 10 p. m. I took a room In a hotel
near St Pancras station for "five and
six fire extra." The room was minus
the fire, but the "extra" seemed to
keep me warm. That night there was
a Zeppelin raid, but I didn't see much
of It because the slit In the curtains
was too small and I had no desire to
make It larger. Next morning the tel
ephone bell rang, and someone asked,
"Are you there?" I was, hardly. Any
way, I learned that the Zeps had re
turned to their fatherland, so I went
out Into the street expecting to see
scenes of awful devastation and a cow
ering populace, but everything was
normal. People were calmly proceed
ing to their work. Crossing the
street I accosted a Bobbie with :
"Can you direct me to the place of
damage V
He asked me, "What damage?
In surprise, I answered, "Why, the
damage caused by the Zens."
m ami- soil) ra
1 irmwrn- mmrm-
197 BY
With a wink he replied :
"There was no damage; we missed
them again."
After several fruitless inquiries of
the passersby, I decided to go on my
own In search of ruined buildings and
scenes of destruction. I boarded a bus
which carried me through Tottenham
Court road. Recruiting posters were
everywhere. The one that impressed
me most was a life-size picture of
Lord Kitchener with his finger point
ing directly at me, under the caption
of "Your King and Country Need You."
No matter which way I turned, the
accusing finger followed me. I was
an American, In mufti, and had a little
American flag in the lapel of my coat.
I had no king, and my country had
seen fit not to need me, but still that
pointing finger made me feel small and
111 at ease. I got off the bus to try
to dissipate this feeling by mixing
with the throng of the sidewalks.
Presently I came to a recruiting of
fice. Inside, sitting at a desk was a
lonely Tommy Atkins. I decided to In
terview him In regard to joining the
British army. I opened the door. He
looked up and greeted me with "I s'y,
myte, want to tyke on?"
I looked at him and answered, "Well,
whatever that Is, I'll take a chance
at It"
Without the aid of an Interpreter, I
found out that Tommy wanted to know
If I cared to Join the British army. He
asked me: "Did you ever hear of the
Royal Fusiliers?" Well, in London,
you know, Yanks are supposed to know
everything, so I was not going to ap
pear Ignorant and answered, "Sure."
After listening for one half-hour to
Tommy's tale of their exploits on the
firing line, I decided to Join. Tommy
took me to the recruiting headquarters,
where I met a typical English captain.
He asked my nationality. I Immedi
ately pulled out my American passport
and showed It to him. It was signed
Guy Empey.
by Lansing. After looking at the
passport he informed me that he was
sorry but could not enlist me, as It
would be a breach of neutrality. I
insisted that I was not neutral, be
cause to me it seemed that a real
American could not be neutral when
big things were In progress, but the
captain would not enlist me.
With disgust In my heart I went out
In the street. I had gone about a
block when a recruiting sergeant who
had followed me out of the office
tapped me on the shoulder with his
swagger stick and said: "S'y, I can
get you In the army. We have a lef
tennnf down at the other office who
can do anything. He has Just come
out of the O. T. C. (Officers' Training
corps) and does not know what neu
trality Is." I decided to take a chance,
and accepted his Invitation for an In
troduction to the lieutenant I entered
the office and went up to him, opened
up my passport and said:
"Before going further I wish to state
that I am an American, not too proud
to fight, and want to Join your army."
He looked at me In a nonchalant
manner, and answered, "That's all
right; we take anything over here."
I looked at him kind of hard and re
plied, "So I notice," but It went over
his head.
He got out nh enlistment blank, and
placing his finger on a blank line said,
"Sign here."
I answered, "Not on your tintype.'
"I beg your pardon?"
Then I explained to him that I would
not sign It without first reading It I
read it over and signed for duration of
war. Some of the recruits were lucky.
They signed for seven years only!
Then be asked me my birthplace,
answered, "Ogden, Utah."
He said, "Oh, yes, just ontslde of
New Torkr
With a smile, I replied, "W eu IPs tip
the state a little."
Then I was taken before the doctor
and passed as physically fit and was
Issued a uniform. When I reported
back to the lieutenant he suggested
that being an American, I go on re
cruiting service and try to shame some
of the slackers into Joining the army."
"All you have to do," he said, "Is to
go out on the street, and when you see
a young fellow In mufti who looks
physically fit just stop him and give
him this kind of a talk: 'Aren't you
ashamed of yourself, a Britisher, phys
ically fit, and In mufti when your king
and country need you? Don't you
know that your country Is at war and
that the place for every young Briton
Is on the firing line? Here I am, an
American, In khaki, who came four
thousand miles to fight for your king
and country, and you, as yet have not
enlisted. Why don't you join? Now
is the time.'
"This argument ought to get many
recruits, Empey, so go out and see
what you can do."
He then gave me a small rosette of
red, white and blue ribbon, with three
little streamers hanging down. This
was the recruiting insignia and was
to be worn on the left side of the cap.
Armed with a swagger stick and my
patriotic rosette, I went out Into Tot
tenham Court road In quest of cannon
Two or three poorly dressed civil
ians passed me, and although they ap
peared physically fit, I said to myself,
"They don't want to Join the army;
perhaps they have someone dependent
on them for support," so I did not ac
cost them.
Coming down the street I saw a
young dandy, top hat and all, with a
fashionably dressed girl walking be
side him. I muttered, "You are my
meat," and when he came abreast of
me I stepped directly In his path and
stopped him with my swagger stick,
saying :
"You would look fine In khaki ; why
not change that top hat for a steel
helmet? Aren't you ashamed of your
self, a husky young chap like you In
mufti when men are needed in the
trenches? Here I am, an American,
came four thousand miles from Ogden,
Utah, just outside of New York, to
fight for your king and country. Don't
be a slacker, buck up and get into uni
form ; come over to the recruiting of
fice and I'll have you enlisted."
He yawned and answered, "I don't
care if you came forty thousand miles,
no one asked you to," and he walked
on. The girl gave me a sneering look ;
I was speechless.
I recruited for three weeks and near
ly got one recruit.
This perhaps was not the greatest
stunt In the world, but it got back at
the officer who had told me, "Yes, we
take anything over here." I had been
spending a good lot of my recruiting
time In the saloon bar of the Wheat
Sheaf pub (there was a very attractive
blonde barmaid, who helped kill time
I was not as serious In those days as
was a little later when I reached
the front) well, it was the sixth day
and my recruiting report was blank.
I was getting low In the pocket bar
maids haven't much use for anyone
who cannot buy drinks so I looked
around for recruiting material. You
know a man on recruiting service gets
"bob" or shilling for every recruit
he entices Into Joining ihe army, the
recruit Is supposed to get this, but he
would not be a recruit If he were wise
to this fact, would he?
Down at the end of the bar was a
young fellow In mufti who was very
patriotic he had about four "Old
Six" ales aboard. He asked me If he
could Join, showed me his left hand,
two fingers were missing, but I said
that did not matter as "we take any
thing over here." The left hand Is
the rifle hand as the piece Is carried
at the slope on the left shoulder. Near
ly everything in England is "by the
left" even general traffic keeps to the
port side.
I took the applicant over to head
quarters, where he was hurriedly ex
amined. Recruiting surgeons were
busy In those days and did not have
much time for thorough physical exam
inations. My recruit was passed as
"fit" by the doctor and turned over to
a corporal to make note of his scars,
I was mystified. Suddenly the corpo
ral burst out with, "Bllme me, two of
his fingers are gone." Turning to me
he said, "You certainly have your
nerve with you, not 'alf you ain't, to
bring this beggar in."
The doctor came over and exploded,
"What do you mean by bringing In a
man In this condition?"
Looking out of the corner of my eye
I noticed that the officer who had re
cruited me had Joined the group, and
I could not help answering, "Well, sir,
I was told that you took anything over
I think they called it "Yankee Im
pudence," anyhow It ended my recruit
In training quarters, "some
where In France," Empey hears
the big gune booming and makee
the acquaintance of the "coc
tlea." Read about hie experi
ence In the next Installment
"Newport Newe."
In Virginia's early days communica
tion with the mother country was, of
course, wholly by ships, and when one
was expected the colonists were all
eagerness for the news from home.
On the occasion of one, it may have
been the first of a certain Captain
Newport's expected return from Eng
land, at or near the place now bearing
his name, a large number of persons
collected to receive "Newport's news."
Hence the name, now shortened to Its
present form.
Owing to the increased
cost of all kinds of ma
terial the retail selling
price of
has been advanced to
$l the Suit
Excellence of quality and
workmanship guaranteed
at heretofore.
Look for
this Red
Madm by
Levi Straus & Co., SanFrancUco
Amrdtd QRAND PRIZE at P. P. I. E,
- Mfra. of "FrJom-AIlt"
tho nw garment for woman
Wife (reading) Thief grabs lady's
$500 meshbag with two pennies In it.
Husband (a preacher) An, ladles
should be more careful on their way
to church.-Houston Chronicle.
When Mary's Lamb Grew Up.
Mary had a little-lamb
But how that lamb has grown!
Now Mary'd rather walk a mile
Than face that lamb alone.
Boston Transcript.
"That telephone frets me like an
aching tooth," said the man who
jumps every time the bell rings.
"Yes," commented the sardonlo cit
izen; "there is a similarity; and the
queer part of it is that you lack the
nerve to have either taken out"
Washington Star.
Real Art.
"He's a clever photographer."
"Makes pictures of people as they
look, I presume."
"Cleverer than that. He makes
them as they think they look." De
troit Free Press.
A PRETTY FACE is the result of a
healthy physical
condition. "Beauty
Is but skin deep"
yet, It greatly de
pends on a clear
complexion, free
from wrinkles and
hollow cheeks.
Health always
brings wealth of
beauty. A health
ly state of the sys
tem comes with
Doctor Pierce's
Favorite Prescription. It's a medicine
prepared for woman's ailments it
cures those derangements and weak
nesses which make woman's life miser
able. You can overcome most bodily ills,
escape sickness, build up your health
with regular hours, plenty of water,
sensible food, and a chance to get the
poison out of the system. Take a
natural laxative once or twice weekly.
Such a one is made of May-apple, Juice
of aloes, and root of Jalap, sugar-coated
and supplied to all druggists years
ago by Doctor Pierce and known as
Doctor Pierces Pleasant Pellets. Get
them to-day! Adv.
Polite Repartee.
Stupid Maid Mrs. Juggins says she
ain't home, ma'am.
Clever Caller All right; tell her I
was awfully afraid she would be.
Baltimore American.
Couldn't Miss Them,
"Did you observe all the meatless
and wheatless days?"
"Observe them! They have been
forced on my attention." Washington
"The language you use to that mule
Is perfectly shocking."
"Yes," replied the driver. "It seems
to get a rise out of everybody but the
mule." Washington Star.
TcSIa HowLydiaE.Pinkham'8
Vegetable Compound
Restored Her Health.
Philadelphia, Pa. "I was very weak,
always tiled, my back ached, and 1 felt
sicKiy most oi uie
time. 1 went to a
doctor and he said
I had nervous indi
cation, which ad-
d to my weaic
condition kept me
worrying most of
the time and he
said if I could not
stop that, I could
not Ret well. I
heard so muchabout
LvdiaE. Pinkham'a
Veee table Com
pound my husband wanted me to try it
1 took it for a week and felt a little bet
ter. I kept it up for throe months, and
I feel fine and can eat anything now
without distress or nervousness. " M rs,
J. WonTiaiNE, 2842 North Taylor St,
Philadelphia Pa.
The majority of mothers nowadays
overdo, there are so many demands
upon their time and strength; the result
is invariably a weakened, run-down,
nervous condition with headaches, back
ache, irritability and depression and
soon more serious ailments develop.
It is at such periods in life that LydiaK.
Pinkham'a Vegetable Compound will
restore a normal healthy condition, ua
it did to Mrs. Worthline.
J jf-
J Nwrfj