The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930, December 08, 1916, Image 3

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J... LI
1J109 NJSil ROOMS 1
Veal, Pork, Beef,
Poultry, Butter, Eggs
and Farm Produce
to the Old Reliable Everdlng house with a
record of 46 years of Square Dealings, and
be assured of TOP MARKET PRICES.
45-47 Frent Street Portland, Oregon
The school where you should net your training
must be practical and live you a good shop ex
perience. The Portland
Address The Registrar, Portland Y. M. C. A.,
and get an Illustrated Bulletin giving the corn
pie te details of COST, TIME and CONDITIONS
By correspondence In yonr own home.
Write today (or information.
308 Liberty Bulldlag. Seattle, Wash.
T and from all point on houMhold foods, pianos,
and autoroutulM. Information cheerfully given.
Pacific Coast Forwarding Co., 'S
Bousht, Sold, Rented and Repaired
Burnaide, cor. 10th. Portland, Ore.
moved to 833 to 3117 Burnaide St., Port
land, Ore. Largest Tire Repair Plant
in the Northwest. Country service a
specialty. Use Parcel Post.
We eat too much meat which
clogs Kidneys, then the
Back hurts.
Moat folks forget that the kidneys,
like the bowels, get sluggish find clog
ged and need a flushing occasionally,
else we hay backache and dull misery
In the kidney region, severe headaches,
rheumatic twinges, torpid liver, acid
stomach, sleeplessness and all sorts
of bladder disorders.
Tou simply must keep your kidneys
actlye and clean, and the moment you
feel an ache or pain in the kidney
region, get about four ounces of Jad
Salts from any good drug store here,
take a tablespoonful in a glass of wa
ter before breakfast for a few days
and your kidneys will then act fine.
This famous salts Is made from the
acid of grapes and lemon juice, com
bined with llthia, and is harmless to
flush clogged kidneys and stimulate
them to normal activity. It also neu
tralizes the acids In the urine so it no
longer irritates, thus ending bladder
Jad Salts is harmless; inexpensive;
makes a delightful effervescent lithia
water drink which everybody should
take now and then to keep their kid
neys clean, thus avoiding serious com
plications. A well-known local druggist says he
sells lots of Jad Salts to folks who be
lieve in overcoming kidney trouble
while It is only trouble.
Jones (who has called round to see
if his friend has . recovered from a
wild night) Is Mr. Wuzzy up yet?
Landlady (sternly) Yes, he got up
an hour ago, drank his bath, and went
back to bed. London Notes.
Not Always So.
"A man learns most who begins at
the bottom," remarked the parlor
philosopher. A
"How about the fellow who is learn
ing to swim?" asked the mere man.
Fatal Kindness.
Minnie So sorry to hear of your
motor accident!
Lionel Oh, thanks; it's nothing. Ex
pect to live through many more.
Minnie Oh, but I hope not! Cin
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
It Makes a Difference.
The young wife Some women don't
like to have a husband hang around
the house all the time, evening after
evening. I'm sure I don't mind it, do
Married friend Whose Husband?
Strictly Temperate.
He Let's go out and have a tete-a-tete.
She All right, but don't let 'em
. make mine too strong. Baltimore
Little Elsie had been chastised for
"What's the matter dear?" asked
grandma. "Did you have an accident?
"N-no, grandma," sobbed Elsie, "it
wasn't an a-accident. M-mamma did
It on p-purpose." Chicago Daily
You can get rid
of itching with
. Resinol Ointment end Resinol Soap easily bell
most cases ol enema and similar sLin-erupuons.
The first appUcstion usually stops the itching and
burning iitstmntly. Sold by aU uroefists. For sam
ple oi each free, write to Dept. I-T, Resinol. Ealu
mure, aid. V iitttMal Jafrt com
32 -dtf! d i ZD -tJV
yfK.rnaiWHrs, B4gS
P. N. U.
No. 60, 1913
Dardanelles Also to Be Turned
Over on Victory of Allies.
New Russian Effort to Check Advance
of Von Mackcnsen is Seen South
of Roumanian Capital City.
London An event surDassintr in far.
reaching importance the aetiml mlli.
tary operations of the war came Sun-
J A I 1 .
uay in ine puwic announcement by the
new nusBian Premier, Alexander Tre
poff, that, by an agreement concluded
in 1915 and subsequently adhered to by
Italv. the allies llefinirplv aaraViliariBrl
Russia's right to Constantinople and
the Straits.
Simultaneously, with thn fata nf
Bucharest still hanging in the balance,
came the news that Russia wait male.
ing heroic efforts to turn the tide of
events in Roumania, in addition to ex
erting vigorous pressure againBt Von
Falkenhayn in Moldavia, where the
Russians have gained a footing at Kir
libaba. The new Russian effort was viaililo
south of Bucharest in an imnortant at
tack on Field Marshal Von Macken-
sen's rear, which, according to the
RuSBian official renort. was nr-onm.
panied by some Buccess, the Germans
and Bulgarians having been .driven
from Tzomana and Gostinari. The
Russians are also suceesafiillv nnnlvinc
v i i v n
pressure in Dobrudja.
These Russian attacks on the two
extreme flanks of the central forces
may change the complexion of the
Roumanian campaign, as there is no
indication as yet that the central pow
ers have succeeded in cutting off any
considerable portion of the Roumanian
Carranza Forces Again Occupy
Looted City of Chihuahua
Juarez, Mex. Carranza forces were
again in control of Chihuahua City
Sunday and Villa had fled to the moun
tains to the west of the capital city, it
was announced by Genral Francisco
Gonzales, commander of the Chihuahua
brigade here.
General Francisco Murguia, the Car
ranza commander, who has been mov
ing slowly northward from Torreon,
was also reported to have entered the
city after having defeated the Villa
column 30 miles south of Chihuahua
No Americans have been killed in
Chihuahua City by Villa, according to
a private message received here from
that city. The message said that the
only foreigners to suffer were the
Chinese, for whom the bandits showed
no mercy. General Murguia and Tre-
vino were both in Chihuahua City.
Red Tape Costs Property.
Sheridan, Or. William H. Dins-
more, of Sheridan, will lose his claim
secured at the Colville land drawing
last spring. Mr. Dinsmore sent his
check for the firBt payment, which was
due, and the government refused the
check, demanding cash.
Mr. Dinsmore was not notified until
it was too late to deposit the required
coin, and was informed he was out of
the race.
The claim was an exceptionally fine
one, adjoining cultivated land on two
sides valued at $100 an acre, and Mr.
Dinsmore feels the loss keenly.
Buffalo Are Increasing,
Washington, D. C. The buffalo,
once threatened with extinction, is in
creasing in numbers on government
reservations, according to the annual
report of the biological survey. Five
big game preserves and 67 bird reser
vations are maintained by the survey.
The report urges that more tracts of
land not suitable for agricultural pur
poses be converted into breeding
grounds for birds. Many thousand
acres of marsh lands, it declares, could
be turned easily into breeding grounds
for water fowl.
Motion for Haste Ready.
Washington, D. C. Preparations
were made Monday to submit to the
Supreme court when it reconvenes, the
motion to expedite the Missouri, Okla
homa & Gulf railroad case, to deter
mine the constitutionality of the
Adamson law. The motion for expedi
tion was sent to Supreme court cham
bers by Solicitor General Davis. Rail
road counsel are expected to be in court
and concur. The railroad brotherhoods
probably will not have counsel partici
pating, the defense being in charge of
the department of Justice.
Cuban Vote Still in Doubt.
Havana, Cuba Although a month
has elapsed since Cuba's presidential
election, the result still remains in
doubt and many months may elapse be
fore the outcome is definitely known.
Partial re-elections must be held m
two provinces where fraud or coercion
interfered. The returns give President
Menocal a majority in Matanzas, Pinar
del Rio and Oriente provinces. Dr,
Alfredo Zayaa, liberal candidate, car
ried Havana and Camagtiey provinces,
Road Headquarters Go to Portland,
Washington, D. C. The department
of Agriculture has decided to locate at
Portland headquarters of the North
western public road and rural engineer
ing district, created under the new
Federal good roads act Government
road construction in Oregon, Washing
ton and Idaho will be supervised from
Turkish War Budget Increased,
Amsterdam, via London A Constan
tinople dispatch sys the Turkish
chamber of deputies has accepted a
proposal to increase this year's budget
for the war ministry by 50,000,000,
Of General Interest
About Oregon
University Students Live Well
on 8-Cent Meals by Clubbing
Salem The riddle of the high cost
of living apparently has been solved
by the Commons Co-operative Club of
Willamette University, composed of
26 students.
This club during October furnished
its members with three meals a day
for an average cost of 24.8 cents a
day each, or 8.3 cents a meal. This
cost also included the salary of the
cook, fuel and light. . The actual price
paid for foodstuffs was 18.8 cents a
day, or 6.3 cents a meal.
The students do all the buying, serv
ing of meals, washing dishes and other
work. The meals are served in the
basement of Walter hall. F. E. Prid
dy and C. E. Womer are the two stu
dents who have charge of the purchase
of food supplies, and despite the low
cost they said that they were able to
obtain a wide variety of food and sat
isfy the appetites of the club mem
bers. "In October," said Mr. Priddy, "it
cost our club only $7.70 for each mem
ber for food, and we gave a well
balanced ration. We pay our cook $35
a month and board, our wood for fuel
purposes costs $12 and lights $1 for
the month. For food we paid out
$152.20 in the 81 days of the month."
For breakfast the students are
served with griddle cakes, cereal,
hash, bread and butter and coffee. For
luncheon there are three kinds of veg
etables, bread and butter, tea or coffee.
No meat or dessert is served. The
dinner in the evening includes vege
tables, meats, bread and butter, des
sert of some kind, and either coffee or
State Tax Levy Test Begun;
Six Per Cent Limitation in Court
Salem A state tax which will pro
vide for all the requirements of the
state government will be certified to
the various counties by the State Tax
commission, it was announced Tuesday
at a meeting attended by the governor,
secretary of Btate and state treasurer.
The board will make the certifica
tion without regard to the 6 per cent
tax limitation amendment adopted at
the recent general election and thus
the question of whether the amend
ment is applicable to the state levy
will be brought before the courts for
An early settlement of the question
is desired bo the legislature may be in
formed whether or not additional legis
lation to put amendment in operation
is needed.
The Tax commission is not deemed a
tax levying body and the point has
been raised that it is the counties
which make the state levy and not the
tax commission.
Cornerstone is Laid.
Roseburg Two thousand people saw
the cornerstone of Roseburg's new Fed
eral building laid Monday afternoon by
the acting officer 8 of the Grand Lodge
of Masons of Oregon. Former Grand
Worshipful Master J. C. Fullerton had
charge of the ceremony, and ex-Con
gressman Binger Herrman was orator
of the day.
The business houses were closed and
the High school Btudents marched to
the Federal building in honor of the
event. In the usual copper box placed
for historical recollection, if the build
ing should be destoyed, were copies of
local papers, the names of the city
government and the acting officers of
the Grand Lodge of Masons.
New Road Plan Proposed.
Salem The members of the State
Highway commission are in favor of
being relieved of duties connected
with the highway development of the
state and having the work placed in
the hands of a non-political commis
This was the information given to a
sub-committee of the Oregon Good
Roads committee, which met with the
Highway commission. This commit
tee is framing practical road legisl
tion with a view of preparing a bill
for action by the next legislature.
Redmond Growers Sell Potatoes.
Redmond, Or. The News Letter, is
sued by R. A. Blanchard, county agri
culturist, at Redmond, recently to the
members of the Deschutes Valley Po
tato Growers' association contained
the information that the first pool of
the season wbb sold by Manager R. H
Parsons, consisting of five cars of po
tatoes, which go to San Francisco.
These potatoes were sold through the
R. W. Faulkner company, of Sacra
mento. Buyers have paid as high as $2
a sack, representing 35 cents above the
market price.
Mexican Right Obtained.
Marshfield A. M. Conard, of So-
nora, Mexico; John Nielson and J. P,
Olson, of Bandon, have organized a
$500,000 company for the purpose of
operating a fishing concession on the
Gulf of California and expect to com
mence in 1917. Mr. Conard obtained
the concession from President Car
ranza. There is no fish canning com
pany operating in Lower California
peninsula, and this company wilj han
dle oysters, shrimps and many varieties
of fish, abundant in those waters. The
company will also handle turtles.
Prunes Are Shipped East,
Sheridan Sheridan shipped east 1,
037,000 pounds of prunes, Wednesday,
this shipment comprising the output of
10 of the large orchards around Shen
dan. Seven to seven and one half
cents was the price brought. The
prunes were of the finest quality. Next
year more acreage will come into
bearing and the output may be
Portland Man Appointed.
Salem J. H. Gault, of Portland has
been appointed chief engineer at the
Eastern Oregon state hospital to suc
ceed Charles Murphy, recently named
as superintendent of the Oregon peni
Everyone Should
Drink Hot Water
in the Morning
Wash away all the atomaoh, liver,
and bowel poisons before)
To feel your best day In and day
out, to feel clean Inside; no sour bile
to coat your tongue and sicken your
breath or dull your head; no constipa
tion, bilious attacks, sick headache,
colds, rheumatism or gassy, acid stom
ach, you must bathe on the Inside like
you bathe outside. This is vastly
more Important, because the Bkln
pores do not absorb impurities Into
the blood, while the bowel porea do,
says a well-known physician.
To keep these poisons and toxins
well flushed from the Btomach, liver,
kidneys and bowels, drink before
breakfast each day, a glass of hot
water with a teaspoonful of limestone
phosphate in it. This will cleanse,
purify and freshen the entire alimen
tary tract, before putting more food
Into the Btomach.
Get a quarter pound of limestone
phosphate from your pharmacist. It
inexpensive and almost tasteless,
except a Bourlsh twinge which is not
unpleasant. Drink phosphated hot
water every morning to rid your sys
tem of these vile poisons and toxins;
also to prevent their formation.
To feel like young folks feel; like
you felt before your blood, nerves and
muscles . became saturated with an
accumulation of body poisons, begin
this treatment and above all, keep it
up! As soap and hot water act on
the skin, cleansing, sweetening and
purifying, so limestone phosphate and
hot water before breakfast, act on the
stomach, liver, kidneys and bowels.
In the Same Boat. '
"I ask you to pay me this bill,'
' said
tailor to a waggish debtor.
"Do you owe anybody anything?"
asked the wag.
"No, sir," replied the tailor.
"Then you can afford to wait," And
he walked off.
A day or two afterward the latter
called again. Our wag was not at his
wit's end, so turning to bis creditor,
he Bald:
"Are you in debt to anybody?"
"Yes, sir, I am sorry to say I am."
"Well, why don't you pay?"
"I haven't got the money," replied
the tailor, with a woebegone counten
ance. "That's just my case, my dear sir.
I am glad to perceive that you can ap
preciate my position. I always respect
your judgment, sir. Give me your
hand, sir." Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
To keen clean and healthv take Dr.
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. Thev resru-
late liver, bowels and stomach.
Choice of Evils.
The brute of a father was convers
ing with his daughter's schoolmaster.
"I want my girl to study sinEing,"
he said emphatically.
"But, my dear sir," protested he of
the cap and gown, "why not let her
take part In the noble joys of art or
'No fear," was the reply. "Art
spoils canvas, while literature wastes
reams of paper and drives half the edi
tors to drink. No, It'll be singing;
that only causes a temporary disturb
ance of the atmosphere." London
Ideas. .
In Solano County, California
160 acres known as Northwest Quarter,
Section 28, Township 20, Range 2 West,
in northwestern part of Solano County.
low price ana easy terms to the right
man. Address M. A. Green. 822 Mission
Street, San Francisco, California.
Nothing Very 8erlous.
Mrs. Casey Och, Pat, whin the doc-
ther told yez ye had something wid
a Latin name to it a yar-rd long, didn't
it scare yez?
Casey Faith, it did, Norah, darlin'!
But whin he only charged me a dol
lar Ol knew It didn't amount to much.
The Sheriff Have you anything to
say before you are hanged?
The Prisoner (originally from Bos
ton) You don't expect me to talk af
terwards, do you? Judge.
A Fatal Mistake.
A westerner had hanged himself to
the bedpost by his suspenders. The
verdict of the coroner's jury ran: "De
ceased came to his death by coming
home full and mistaking himself for
his pants." Philadelphia Ledger.
Comedy and Pathos.
"A man looks comical when he pro
"Yes," replied Miss Cayenne, "He's
fortunate if he can let it go at that
and not look pathetic after he Is mar
ried." Washington Star. '
Hobbs' Scheme.
"So you think Hobbs is miserly."
"Miserly! Why, he makes a point
of going out to lunch early before his
appetite comes on, so that he can
save money. Boston Transcript.
Stomach Bitters
American Scientist
Who Died in London
Sir Hiram Stevens Maxim, scientist
and inventor, who quit the United
States in 1884 when his semi-automatic
rapid fire gun was rejected by
the United States and accepted by the
British government, has just died in
London. In 1887 he was knighted by
Queen Victoria for his work in inven
tion and science.
Price of Horses Will Advance.
Lewiston, Idaho That the price of
horses will continue to advance !b the
opinion of E. E. Flood, ex-president of
the Northwest Livestock Show. D.
O. Lieth, buyer for a large exporting
company in Kansas City, Mo., who
spent several months in this territory
purchasing hundreds of horses, wired
Mr. Flood that he would Boon return to
the Northwest and renew his purchases
of animals suitable for use on Euro
pean battlefields.
"The prices for horses are rapidly
advancing, due to the fact that the
allies have taken so many out of this
territory and Bhipped them to Europe,"
said Mr. Flood. "Mr. Lieth will find
prices advanced even since he left here
a short time ago. I take it that the
allied forces are not expecing any let
up in hostilities in Europe when they
send their agents back here for more
war horses."
Mr. Murphy Takes Charge.
Salem The members of the State
board of control Tuesday vested Char
les A. Murphy, ex-chief engineer at
the Eastern Oregon state hospital and
recently appointed superintendent of
the penitentiary to succeed J. W. Min
to, with full authority over the prison
management. Mr. Murphy assumed
charge of the prison Wednesday.
A system of accounting will be in
stalled at the prison and a full inven
tory of the stock and equipment on
hand will be taken before any changes
are made.
Ridgefield Potatoes Are Selling,
Ridgefield, Wash Because local po
tato buyers are unable to get cars for
making Eastern shipments, hundreds
of sacks of potatoes are being shipped
by water to Portland, where they are
placed in cars there, while some are
put aboard vessels for California
points. Last Wednesday 1000 sacks
of were shipped from the warehouse
here to Portland, and on Friday 800
sacks were sent. Despite the heavy
shipments the warehouse is again full,
while the storeroom in a large feed
store has several hundred sacks.
Portland Wheat Bluestem, $1.48;
forty-fold, $1.43; club, $1.42; red Rus
sian, $1.38.
Oats No. 1 white feed, $35.00.
Barley No. 1 feed, $37.50.
Flour Patents, $8; straights, $6.80
7.20; exports, $6.80; valley, $7.50;
wholewheat, $8.20; graham, $8.00.
Millfeed Spot prices; Bran,
$26.50(27.00 per ton; shorts, $30.50
31.00; rolled barley, $40.0041.50.
Corn Whole, $47 per ton; cracked
Hay Producers' prices: Timothy,
Eastern Oregon, $1720 per ton; tim
othy, valley, $1617; alfalfa, $16
17.00; valley grain hay, $1315;
clover, $12.50.
Butter Cubes, extras, 3738c.
Jobbing prices: Prints, extras, 40c.
butterfat, No. 1, 40c; No. 2, 38c,
Eggs Oregon ranch, current re
ceipts, 40c per dozen; Oregon
ranch,Jcandled, 45c; selects, 47c.
Poultry Hens, 12M)14c; springs, 14
15c per pound; turkeys, live, 18(
20c; dressed, 2324c; ducks, 1416c;
geese, 10c.
Veal Fancy 11 l12c per pound.
Pork Fancy, 1212Jc per pound.
Vegetables Artichokes, 75c(ip.l0
per dozen; tomatoes, 75cfii$1.25 per
crate; cabbage, 75c$2.00 per hun
dred; peppers, 57c per pound; egg
plant, b(iJ,8c; lettuce, $2.50; cucumbers,
$11.50 per box; celery, 6575c per
dozen; pumpkins, lc per pound;
squash, lfu,ljc per pound. .
Potatoes Oregon, buying price,
$1.40 1.50 per hundred, country
points; sweets, $2.75 per hundred.
Onions Oregon buying prices, $2.50
per sack, country points.
Green Fruits Apples, new, 60cft,$2
per box; pears, $11.50; grapes, $1
2; casabas, lie; cranberries, $10.50
12.50 per barrel. -
Hops 1916 crop, 810c per pound.
Wool Eastern Oregon, fine," 25
Z7c; coarse, 3334c; valley, 83c.
Mohair 3545c per pound.
Cascara bark Old and new, 5Jc per
Cattle Steers, prime, $6.75(?i7.25;
good, $6.406.76; common to fair, $5
6.00; cowb, choice, $5.25(6; medium
to good, $4.605; ordinary to fair,
$3.604; heifers, $46; bulls, $3
4.25; calves, $47.50.
Hogs Prime, $9.259.75; good to
prime mixed, $8.25(3;!); rough heavy,
$8!8.25; pigs and skips, $8(48.25.
Sheep Lambs, $8(o;8.75; yearlings,
wether, $77.60; old wethers, $6.25
6.50; ewes, $55.60.
$ -- igt x i ?
Iff 1 J
Overwork, lack of fresh air, mental strain or any sickness
disturbs their functions. Stubborn coughs tear and wear
the sensitive lung tissues. .
should be taken promptly for
or when strength is lowered from any cause. Its high
nutritive value creates resistive force to ward off sick-,
ness. The rich cod liver oil improves the quality
of the blood to relieve the cold and the glycerine is
soothing and healing to the lung tissues.
Refute Alcoholic Substitutes Which Exclude the Oil. ....
Small orders as well as btpr. Ornamentals, Fruit Trees, Etc. Hardy and truarantoed.
Largest Nursery between Rockies and Cascades. Hth Year. 15,000 Orden Lut Year.
In Kern County, California
20 acres fenced and having old Well,
about five miles from Bakersfield, Cal
ifornia, near highway. Good alfalfa
land or potatoes ar.d other vegetables.
Good crop is being raised on adjoining
land. Near good homes and schools.
Only five miles from Bakersfield. Low
price and easy terms to the right man
who wants some good hind and good
location where he can do well. Address
M. A. Green. 822 Mission Street. San
Francisco, California.
Forest Notes.
The National Forests contain the
most extensive publio playgrounds In
the world, and are open to the free
use of the people.
Lightning caused 27Va per cent of
the 1091 forest fires suppressed by
the Forest Service In Oregon, Wash
ington and Alaska during the season
of 1916.
The timber and grazing resources
In the National ForestB of Oregon,
Washington and Alaska have an esti
mated value of $233,000,000. ,
Nobody can Tell when you
Darken Gray, Faded Hair
with Sage Tea.
Grandmother kept her hair beauti
fully darkened, glossy and attractive
with a brew of Sage Tea and Sulphur.
Whenever her hair took on that dull,
faded or streaked appearance, this
simple mixture was applied with won
derful effect. By asking at any drug
store for "Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur
Compound," you will get a large bot
tle of this old-time recipe, Improved
by the addition of other Ingredients,
all ready to use, for about 60 cents.
This simple mixture can be depended
upon to restore natural color and
beauty to the hair.
A well-known downtown druggist
says everybody uses Wyeth's Sage
and Sulphur Compound now because
It darkens so naturally and evenly
that nobody can tell It has been ap
pliedIt's so easy to use, too. You
simply dampen a comb of soft brush
and draw It through your hair, taking
one strand at a time. By morning
the gray hair disappears; after an
other application or two, It Is restored
to Its natural color and looks glossy,
soft and beautiful. This preparation
is a delightful tollot requisite. It is
not Intended for the cure, mitigation
or prevention of disease.
Loves Hla Liza.
"Look here, Sam,"
"Yes, Liza."
"I begins t' think yer doesn't love
me no mo .
"NoiiBense, Liza; what put that In
yo head?
"Why, you just sits there by the
fire and sees me work."
"Why, Liza, the more I sits here by
this fire an' sees yer workln', the more
l loves yer, honey." Buffalo News
The Crank's View.
Society Reporter I understand you
are making plans to marry Miss New-
rich next year, Count Brokinsky.
Count Broklnsky-Ha! You are quite
correct. But I have ze plans all fin
isned. we are now working on ze
budget." Exchange.
Of Course.
Feminist Just think, If the girls
were taken away from this college
what would follow?
Chorus of roughs We would.
Nothing Unemployed.
"Talk about people who put every
thing to use,' Mrs. Blank Is the limit.'
"Is she?"
"Why, that woman would use the
family skeloton for a dresss form."
Boston Transcript.
A Chappie's Lament.
In Shakespearean times young
bloods sat on the stage."
"And we think we know it all. Why,
the best we can do today Is to put ex
tra chairs In the orchestra pit. -Louisville
The French Tribunal.
Doctor Why were you rejected?
Applicant (smiling) For Imbecility
"What do you do for a living?"
"Nothing; I have an Income of 60
000 francs."
"Are you married?"
"What does your wife do?"
"Nothing; Bhe is richer than I."
"You are no Imbecile. Passed for
general servlce'Loudon Daily News.
C5 AMv Granulated Eyelids,
lrij Eyes inflamed by expo
"" sure to Sun, Dust and Wina
. ,- - cmir-klr relieved hy Murine
fiL V t2" t ye Hemsdy. No Smarting,
iJ Ju,t Eye Comfort At
Your Drugpit's 50c per Bottle. Murine lye
Salve inTubes25c. ForBeokoltheEyefreeask
Druggiiu or Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
hard coughs, unyielding colds,
Peruna eases
the burden of the
housekeeper by keep
ing away the danger
of illness resulting
from colds, coughs,
and indigestion due
to catarrhal condi
tion. It speedily re
lieves and overcomes
Its tonic properties build np
the strength of the physically
weak and run down, and its use
In oonvalesceDSfl. especially after grip,
is remarkably benefjdal.
The wise housekoepor has Peruna
on hand (or Instant use cvosifcatarrhal
troubles do noH:all for Its regular ad
ministration. A doeo or two in time
often prevents a long Ulness. .
, Liquid or tablet form.
Manalln tublots are a splendid
laxative for home use.
Ask the druflglat
Columbus, Ohio
True to Life.
"Tell me honestly," said the novel
reader to the novel writer, "did you
ever see a woman who stood and tap
ped on the floor impatiently with her
toe for Beveral moments, as you de
scribe?" "Yes," was the thoughtful reply. "I
did once."
"Who was she?"
"She was a clog dancer." Tit-Bits.
A Useful Lap Dog.
Mistress (overjoyed at the unex
pected recovery of her long-lost Fldo)
And tell me, Peters, where did you
find my sweet little darling?
Peters Well, mum er the fact is,
a low sort of fellow had him tied to
a pole and was washing windows with
him. London Passing Show.
Mr. Meek Objects.
"The subject of white slavery "
"Pardon me," Bald skimpy little Mr.
Meek, "but I prefer not to talk about
my condition." Judge.
Due Caution.
at the bar, will you
tried by Jury or by the court?"
"By Jury, your honor by Juryl"
"Humph! Why er haven't I seen
you before sdmewhere?"
'Yes, your honor. I sell you Ice In
summer and do your plumbing in win
ter." Richmond Times-Dispatch.
Young Husband You are always
right, dearl
Young Wife-Do you really think so?
Young Husband Oh, yes, and I am
always wrong about everything.
Modern Life.
"Well, how did things come out in
your school contests?"
"Trifle mixed. A girl won the ham
mer throwing contest and a boy took
first prize for fruit cake." Louis
ville Courier-Journal.
What Is Uric Acid ?
Ever since the discovery of nrio acid
In the blood by Hcheele, in 1775, and
the bad effect it had upon the body,
scientists and physicians have striven
to rid the tissues and the blood of
this poiBon. Because of its over
abundance in the system it causes
backache, pains here and there, rheu
matism, gout, gravel, neuralgia and
sciatica. It was Dr. Pierce who dis
covered a new agent, called "Amine,"
which will throw out and completely
eradicate this uric acid from the sys
tem. "Anuric" has proved to be 37
times more potent than lithia, and
consequently you need no longer fear
muscular or articular rheumatism or
inut, or many other diaeasos which are
dependent on an accumulation of nrio
acid within the body. Bend to Dr.
Pierce, of the Invalids' Hotel and Sur
gical Institute, Buffalo, N. Y., for a
pamphlet on "Anuric," or send 10 cents
fur a trial pad-age of " Annric Tablets."
If you feel that tired, worn-out
feeling, backache, neuralgia, or if your
Bleep is disturbed by too frequent
urination, go to your best drug store
and ask for Dr. Tierce's Anuria Tablets.
Ibey are put up in 60-cent packages.
Doctor Pierce's reputation is back of
this medicine and yoa know that hia
"Golden Medical Discovery" for the
blood and his "Favorite Prescription
for the ills of women have had a splen
did reputation for the past fifty years.
Doctor Pierce's relicts are unequaled
83 a Liver Pill. Out liny SijM -tuaUd
Vellct a Ihst. Cure Sick Headache,
Bilious Headache, Dizziness, Constipa
tion, Indigestion, Bilious Attacks, and
all derangements of the Liwr, fctouiadv
aud Bowels. . a