A GOOD POSITION There is a good position oppor tunity increased pay as Boon aa you are qualified. During the past four months we placed 143; salaries ranging from 45 to 125 dollars per mo. 257 positions we could not fill. Why not Bpend a profitable Win ter with us? Wiie for catalog. BUSINESS COLLEGE Portland, Ore. I. M. WALKER, Prei. Portland Y.M. C. A. Auto School Day and nig:ht claBsea. Expert trainlnce In repairing, driving and machine work. Including forgo, lathe, ahaper. drill press, tractors, etc. Time unlimited. COMPE TENT CHAUFFEURS AND MECHAN ICS SUPPLIED. WHITE US. Two It Company. After saying his prayers at night the 7-year-old son of parents In Bryn Mawr announce that he was so tired of the kind of life he was compelled to lead that he believed there was nothing for it but for him to run away. The father considered the matter thoughtfully, and then said: "George, if that is the way you feel, there Is money in my purse here, you may take It all." The boy packed up his grip, got to the front door, came back on the ground, of having forgotten his tooth brush, and went downstairs again. The parents were much disturbed to know what he would do. He opened the front door, went out on the veranda, and all was silence. The father and mother looked at each other, but thought the course they had adopted the best, and hence did not make a move. After 15 minutes of intense anxiety the door opened and a boy's voice called out: "Say, dad, if I'm going away alone I'd better take mother along, don't you think?" Pittsburgh Dispatch. iyj Lk JLL OLMES BUSINESS COLLEGE WASHINGTON ti TENTH STS) PORTLAND.. ORfL. HAWTHORNE AUTO SCHOOL Oregon's oldeat, beat equipped and most practical school. Expert instructions in repairing, driving: and adjusting Practi cal work in the repair shop, You do the work with your own hands. Day and night classes. Address 445 Hawthorne Are. Portland, Ore. HIDES, PELTS, CASCARA BARK, WOOL AND MOHAIR. We want all you hava. Write for prices and shipping tags THE H. F. NORTON Co. Portland. Ore., Seattle; Wn ELECTRIC MOTORS Bought, Sold, Rented and Repaired WALKER ELECTRIC WORKS Burneide, cor. 10th. Portland. Ore. REDUCED FREIGHT RATES To and from all points on household goods, pianos, and automobiles. Information cheerfully iriven. Pacific Coast Forwarding Co., JS FARMS AND BUSINESS SOLD Do you want to sell your farm, home or buatnesa for cash? Write to CARTER REALTY CO.. 604 Buchanan Building, Portland, Oregon O Oreson Vulcanizing Company (The Tire Shop) has moved into larger quarters in the heart of the automo bile district, Burnside at Broadway, 833 and 335 Burnside St., Portland. Or. If You Can't Get It In Town. Someone In almost every town in the United States sells Hanford's Eal sam of Myrrh. If you can't get it write G. C. Hanford Mfg. Co., Syra cuse, N. Y. Price BOc and $1.00. Adv. A Girl's Proposal. "And I have tried to make it cleai to you in every way I knew. I've asked you to this house, times without number. I've played tennis with you, and walked and talked with you, am. ridden your rounds with you in your bumpy old milk wagon. I've simply thrown myself at your head, day after day. But you you wouldn't under stand. You wouldn't look at me. Nor listen. You mooned about, and moped your ridiculous heart out. Because you thought I was such a blind, silly fool, I couldn't look past your poverty and your ill-luck, nnd see how splendid you really are. Because you thought 1 was such a stuck-up simpleton I'd not want to marry you, because you were a milkman, when I'd chase the cows for you, if you wanted me to." Woman's Home Companion. For lame back use Hanford's Bal sam. Rub it on and rub it in thor oughly. Adv. Safety First Selfishness. "If your children are to be sure of escaping this particular germ," said the scientist, "you'll have to take them into the country." "Won't you please keep that a se cret for a few hours longer?" "Why?" "So that I can move out before the country people hear about It and re fuse to take any children to board." Washington Star. DOC WHITE ALWAYS WAS HOODOO TO POOR YANKS Long After He Wat All Done, White Sox Carried Him on Pay Roll Just to Kill New York. For several seasons after Doc White had outlived his usefulness against the general run of American league clubs he was retained as a member of the White Sox hurling corps for the especial benefit of the Yankees. A mark for practically every other team in his circuit during the last few years of his Chicago connection, White was a veritable left-handed Johnson against the Yankees almost to the very end. Cnme a time eventually when a managerial job called him to the Pa cific coast for the first time in ninny a long and dreary year, and the Yan- SLEEPING IN QUEER PLACES If A 1 Englishman Chooses Narrow Plank 120 Feet Above the Ground for a Siesta. A short time ago a man was dis covered in the lunch hour fast asleep on a plank. His arms were hanelne down, one on each side of the board, which was about a foot wide. He was noring gloriously, and quite cureless of the fact that If he turned over for greater comfort he would "tumble out of bed" 120 feet, for that .plank was part of the scaffolding erected for the repair of a church spire. A similar disregard for danger was reported lately during the erection of an electrical plunt. One of the men, engaged on the tall chimney, missing his mate at the lunch hour, went up the half-finished chimney to find him. Ho discovered him fast asleep on a narrow ledge of brick Inside the shaft. a fall from which meant a drop of 80 feet. The other week a circus arriyed in certain town, not a hundred miles from London, at an early hour, after a long journey and a performance the previous night. As a consequence few of the company got any sleep. That day there was the usual procession and the afternoon performance. The lion tamer had had a very rough time be cause of the illness of one of his beasts. The evening performance arrived, and the man hnd.to pretend to go to sleep with his head on the body of a couchant Hon, finishing up the per formance by springing up nnd put ting nls head in another lion's mouth. But when the Jumplng-up time came a gentle snore was heard. The man was fast asleep with his head pillowed on a Hon. Going the Limit "Did he tell you that you are the only girl he has ever loved?" "Yes, and he went farther than that." "He did? What else did he say?" "He said that I was the only girl he ever intended to love." Detroit Free Press. Easily Fixed. . "My suitcase is badly rubbed In sev eral places. I hesitate to take it along." "Nonsense, those rubbed places are easily remedied. Paste on these la bels. They are from very swell ho tels." Louisville Courier-Journal. ' The Situation. .V , "la the world getting better?" "Maybe so as a general proposition, but what eood does It do me? My boss is lust as grouchy, my janitor just as mean and the neighborhood kids quite as pestiferous." Louisville Courier-Journal. Spray-a-Cow Keeps off flies or money back. $1 a gallon from your dealer, or order by mail. PLUMMER DRUG.CO. Third and Madison, Portland, Or. n ff F Veal, Pork, Beef, SH I r Poultry, Butter, Egtfs AAA and Farm Produce to the Old Reliable Everding house with a record of 46 years of Square Dealings, and be assured of TOP MARKET PRICES. F. M. CRONKHITE 45-47 Front Street Portland, Oregon For hot grease burns apply Han ford's Balsam lightly until the fire Is extracted. Adv. Doc White, kees felt free and easy In their com petition against the White Sox. Their hopes were speedily dashed, however, for White had scarcely gone away from Cliicngo when Ed Clcotte bobbed up to cast upon the New Yorkers a spell almost as potent as the old White hoodoo itself. A failure at Boston, Clcotte has been of pretty much no account with Chicago except when pitted against the Yankees. Boston has given him some unmerciful lacings, Detroit has his number, Cleveland welcomes In frequent appearance against the In dians with squenls of joy, and even Washington holds him In poor esteem. Against the Yankees, however, he al most Invariably looks like the best pitcher In all the world. Deserving the Fair. "Colonel," asked the beautiful wife, "when was the most trying moment of your life?" "It was when I went to my wife's father for the purpose of asking him to let me have her. He was very deaf and I had to explain the matter before 20 clerks." London Saturday Journal. Feminine Perceptions. "What shall I do at the meeting when I want to make a speech and some others try to head me off?" "Why, get the chairman to recog nize you." "Oh, that Is easy enough. I was introduced to her last week at Mrs. Pinkie's tea." Baltimore American. For Adv. calks use Hanford's Balsam. From One Who Knew. " 'A burnt child dreads the fire,' " an nounced the teacher during the lesson in proverbs. "Now, give me a sen tence different In wording, but mean ing the same thing." "Please, teacher," came a small voice, "A washed child dreads the wa ter." London Ideas. "Anuric" cures Backache, Lumbago, Rheumatism. Send 10c. Dr. V. M. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y., for large trial package. Something In Hit Favor. "There's one thing I will say for that fellow whose mistakes cause so much trouble." "What Is it?" "He doesn't claim that his inten Hons were good, anyhow." Detroit Free Press. Oregon Hernia Institute Rupture treated mechanically-. Private fitting rooms. Highest testimonial, He suits guaranteed. Call or write. JOHNSON eV UMBARGER 411-412 AUsk Building, Portland, Oregon Write about your wants in this line to FINKE BROS., 183 Madison St., Portland, Ore. P, N. U. No. 38, 1916 Juit So. "Postcards are said to Increase pos tal business greatly." "Why should that be?" "Well, we write letters to our friends, but we send postcards to ev erybody." Louisville Courier-Journal. Some Compensation. She There isn't a bit of wood In the house and the gas is turned off. He HurTah! Then, for once,- the cook can't burn the dinner! London Answers. IF YOU HAVE RHEUMATISM you should try Anti-Uric, the famoU3 remedy made from Roots and Berries. It is guaranteed to cure thU cruel dis ease in every stage. We want every reale' of this paper who is suffering from Rheumatism in any form to try this discovery. Every packaee guaranteed or money refund ed. Price $1.50 prepaid, or we will send by Parcel Post C. O. D. Circu lars and convincing testimony free. Address ANTI-URIC CO., 102 Sher wood Building, San Francisco. PAINT NOW It will be money saved to protect the lumber against winter ' - - . a ai t. weather. Get Color Cards trom your local aeaier. Things That Are New. To keep a woman's hands warm In a muff a nickel cylinder which, when heated on a stove, will retain the heat for hours, has been Invented. For use in French colonial waters where rank vegetation would foul sub merged wheels shallow draft boats huve been built that are driven by aeroplane motors and propellers. Of German Invention is a camera small enough to be carried by a pigeon which takes photographs automati cally as a bird flies with It over a place of which Information is desired, To help In adjusting the bearings of car wheels when away from a repair shop is the purpose of a new device that locks a wheel firmly to the track and prevents It being moved, Padlocked pockets, with slots through' which coins cun be dropped, have been patented for use by persons employed In public places who must share with employers tips they recive. To find leaks In motorcycle tires there has been invented a box to fit over them In compartments of which Is loose cotton that Is moved by the es caping air as It passes over a hole, For hair singeing a comb has been Invented that entirely surrounds the hair and guards against any danger of It catching fire. A set of aluminum cooking utensils with an Interchangeable handle for all, easily kept cool, has been patented by a New York Inventor. An Englishman has Invented a de vice to enable aviators In flight to pick up messages from the ground by drop ping a grapnel at the end of a line. Attached to a life preserver invent ed by a Buffalo man is a device that enables him to breathe In the roughest water and also to signal for help. "Old Father Thames" as Physician The charitable public of London is taking in hand, with commendable en ergy, the provision of means for help ing maimed and wounded soldiers to ward convalescence. Last year the Itiver Thames was used for. giving them short trips. This year it has been arranged to give trips to 12,000 invalided lads every avuilable day along the river as far as Richmond, where as many as are able to disem bark will be chaperoned to the park, and there supplied with light refresh ments. Local and city committees are or ganized, with medical skill, to insure that the trips will be useful aids to the restoration of health. Money has lit erally flowed Into the fund for the pur pose. This Really Happened. Not one woman In a dozen will be lieve this story, although It is true. Every other week Bill Smith can prove it by rolling up his left pants' leg. The alternate week the proof Is In the laundry basket. Bill works In a shop where a man must have forearmB. He has solved the underwear-sleeve problem by huv- ing them cut off above the elbow. The other day he bought new union suits, and showed Mrs. Smith on one arm how much he wanted cut off. The next Sunduy morning he donned the suit and found she had cut off the right arm and left leg. He apprised Mrs. Smith, but she retorted such a blunder was "impossible." But Bill had the proof, and he still has It ; for on the union suit there Is a seam around the left leg just below the knee, where the cut-off has been put back. Bill says: "As we sew we rip, and if we snip, Inadvisedly, It's best to sew It on again," Passing of the Kimono. Fortunately for the appearance and for the business of the household, wom en have abandoned kimonos for house wear excepting for the bathrobe and in case of sickness. There is no great er encouragement to slopplness and laziness than the kimono, although it is a great garment In its place. The everlasting sleeves are always in the way, and the fronts have a habit of presenting themselves directly under one's feet. Most women find It better to make home dresses to open all the way down' the front so they can be ironed with out trouble. They can be snapped to gether quickly or they may be buttoned. Railroad Burning Coal Dust. A device for burning both hard and uoft coal dust and slftlngs, which have formed mostly waste on the American railroads since the beginning of their history, has been perfected and at tached to one of the largest of the con solidation type locomotives In the United States, owned by the Delaware & Hudson railroad. Once-Overi. The wife who is plnlnly dressed and does not have the luxuries you en joy Is not necessarily unhappy, and she may be getting much more out of life than you are getting. It may be that she and her husband are laying up money for their old age, while you and your husband are spending all you earn.. wnen tne time comes that you should be taking comfort and be free from worry, you may find yourself worried because of your scanty sav' lngs, while the woman you pity to day may then be secure In the thought that she has enough to sup port her to the end of her days. So do not waste your pity on the woman who Is so plnlnly dressed, She may have more sense than you at the present time nnd more com fort in the years to eome. Facts aa to Editors. On rainy days, and also on other oc casions which are not unconnected with the postman's visit, we find the whole of a truth Is tills from the Thoninsvllle (Ga.) Times: "If you see an editor who pleases everybody, there will be a glass plate over his face and he will not be stand ing up." Collier's Weekly. W. L. DOUGLAS w, the shoe that holds its shape" $3.00 $3.50 $4.00 $4.50 & $5.00 kS&VSSU Save Money by Wearing W. 1 Douglas shoes. For sale by over 9000 shoe dealers. The Best Known Shoes in the World. '. L. Douglas name and the retail price is stamped on the bot tom of all shoes at the factory. The value is guaranteed and the wearer protected against high prices for inferior shoes. The retail prices are the same everywhere. They cost no more in San Francisco than they do in New York. They are always worth the price paid for them. phe quality of W. L. Douglas product is guaranteed by more -- than 40 years experience in making fine shoes. The smart styles are the leaders in the Fashion Centres of America. They are made in a well-equipped factory at Brockton, Mass, by the highest paid, skilled shoemakers, under the direction and supervision ot experienced men, all working with an honest determination to make the best shoes for the price that money can buy. Ask your shoe dealer for W. I Doug-las shoes. If he can not supply you with the bind you want, take no other make, vt ret shoes by return mall, postage free. Write for Interesting: booklet explaining; how to it shoes of the highest standard of quality for the prloe, LOOK FOR W. L. Douglas name and the retail price tamped on the bottom. President O 1 tt I XJ Boys' Shoes Best In the World $3.00 $2.50 & $2.00 W. I. Douglas Shoe Co., Brockton, Mum. When You Follow The Trail Equipped Wi .itaUSk SafMR. Ousted. "Why is that pig always trying to get Into my room?" inquired the sum mer boarder. "Do you think he has taken a fancy to me?" "Its his room during the winter," whispered the hired man, cautiously. Extremes Meeting. "That was a remarkable idea ot con trasts the animal painter had in his latest zoo picture." "What was It?" "He painted a laughing hyena stand ing under a weeping willow." Balti more American. Not Iti First Appearance. "It seems to me I've seen your face somewhere else." "I shouldn't wonder. This isn't the first time I've ever taken it out." Detroit Free Press. O Eyes Granulated Eyelids, tyes inflamed by expo ure to Sun, Dust and Win! quickly relieved by Marina Eye Bemedy. No Smarting, lust Eve Comfort. At Your Druggist'" SOc per Bottle. Marine Eys Salve inTubes 2 Sc. For Book oil he Eyefreeask Druggists or Murine Eys Bemedy Ce., Chicago Garbage? Greene What makqe you think he is a vegetarian? Browne I have smoked his cigars, London Answers. Soldier Sweethearts. Mistress I see that another soldier has called for you, Mary. I thought you had only one sweetheart? Cook Oh, no, mum, two. You see, one's a regular and the other's a spe cial reserve. -Pearson's Weekly. SMkm How to Feel Well During Middle Life Told by Three Women Who Learned from Experience. Keeping Frlendo. "This poet Hpeaks about keeping friends with oneself. That sounds nonsensical for me." "Not at nil. Didn't you ever call yourself namea?" "Ye-cs." "And why? Because you had done something of which yon did not ap prove?" Kansas City Journal Hence the Delay. The Kiddie Come quick I There's a mnn been fightin' my futher nmre'n half an hour! Policeman Why didn't you tell me bpfore? Tho Kiddle Because father was gettln' the best of it until a few min utes ago. Puck. The Change of Life is a most critical period of a woman's existence, and neglect of health at this time invites disease and pain. Women everywhere should remember that there is no other remedy known to medicine that will so successfully carry women through this trying period as Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, made from native roots and herbs. Read these letters: mm M If't'l ? Philadelphia, Pa. 4 1 started tho Change of Life) five years age. I always had a headache and back ache with bearing down pains and I would have heat flashes very bad at times with dizzy spells and nervous feelings. After taking Lydia E. 1'inkham'B Vegetable Compound I fuel like a new person and am in better health and no more troubled with the aches and pains I had before I took your won derful remedy. I recommend it to my friends for I cannot praise it enough." lira. Makgahet Grass man, 75 N. Kinggold St., Philadelphia, Pa. Beverly. MaRS. "I took Lvdin, E. Pinlchnm's Vegetable Compound, for nervousness and dyspepsia, when I wns going through the Change of Life. I found it very jelpful and I have always spoken of it to other women who suiler as I did and have had them try it and they also have received I good results from it." Mrs. Geokoe A. Dunbar, if 1 1.. L'i. T 1.. H ' xi avuuxiuy ot., Awvuiiy, iua.33. Erie, Pa. UI was in poor health when the Change of Life started with me and I took Lydia E Pinlcham's Vegetable Compotuid, or I think I should not havo got over it as easy as I did. Even now if I do not feel good I take the Compound and it restores me In a short time. I will praise your remedies to every woman for it may help them as it has mo." Mrs. E. Kisslino, U31 East 24th St., Erie, Pa. No other medicine lias been to successful in relieving; woman's suffering as has Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. Women may receive free and helpful advice by writing the Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co., Lynn, Mass. Such letters are received) and answered bj women ouly and held in strict confidence , liiiil