V4AAA4
The Doped I
Auto
Frances Elizabeth Lanuon
(Copyright, 1916, by W. O. Chapman.)
"Don't be foolish, Edgar, an automo
bile Is too expensive a luxury for us,"
declared Mrs. Ross.
"I'm the paymaster," retorted her
husband, smartly. "I fancy I earn as
much money as that self-conceited Ar
1 thur Rlggs. Humphl I'll wager a
month's salary he's buying that cheap
machine of his on Installments."
"Suppose he Is, or Isn't?" propound
ed practical Mrs. Ross. "I've got too
; much sense to let ,envy, or spite, or
emulation force ma Into a foolish ac
: tlon."
"But he whizzed that tin Lizzie of
his past us with a haughty stare, as
If he was some emperor and we
scrubs. No, sir. He don't lord it over
yours truly I I'm going to take the
starch out of him. I'm going to make
him wilt like a (llalirng. I'm going to
mnke that snub-nosed wife of his un
derstand that you don't have to walk.
I'm going to get a machine that will
put his In the dust currents whenever
.1 overtake hlia."
"Really, Edgar," remonstrated Mrs.
Ross, "you are getting absolutely vin
dictive!" "Nuff said, Nettle!" returned her
husband, definitely. "I'm negotiating
for a high-powered live-passenger car
that cost three thousand five hundred
dollars."
"Oh, Edgar !" gasped Mrs. Ross.
"Originally. I've got a friend who
has put me up against a friend of his,
a broker in automobiles. The trader
Is going to give me a bargain, and
what do you think? Don't let It out,
but, by paying cash as on the nail
He Fussed With Them and Gavs It Up.
head, I get the machine for four hun
dred dollars."
"But, Edgar, It's an old car."
"People will never know It unless
you tell them," declared Ross.
"Of course, I won't do that."
"It's been repainted In blue, lined
with white, new lamps and fender, and
fast ha! ha I It'll make that cad
Rlggs turn black In the face when I
set him a pace. That's one thing I in
sisted on with the broker speed."
Ross had found out that his neigh
bor's car could run up to forty miles
an hour.
"If the enr I'm buying enn't bent
that, I don't want It," he told the bro
ker definitely.
"How's sixty?" pertly Inquired the
trader.
"Thut hits the mnrU," acquiesced
Ross. "Can you do It?"
"Sure I"
"You want to look out sharp In
dealing with those motor specialists,"
a friend warned Ross, while the latter
was expatiating on "the rare bargain"
he had secured, "You know second
hand uutos und old horses are sus
ceptible of some decidedly skillful
manipulation."
t "Oh, they can dope a horse with
drug, till he looks slick as butter,"
observed Ross lightly, "but they can't
dope an automobile."
"Well, I suppose that's so," mur
mured the friend und little knew.
Mrs. Ross looked grave as the old
barn was turned Into a garage and
the auto ran Into It. She deplored
the luvestment of even four hundred
dollars. Still, sho could not help but
become Infected with the hilarious
enthusiasm of her husband.
They made a brief practice try
out of the machine and It ran very
well. Ross, however, was saving him
self for au event two days ahead.
The Ross family uml the Rlggs folks
and two other neighbors had been
Jointly Invited to a function at Clear
Lake, a summer resort twenty-five
tulles distant. For this occasion ltoss
bad reserved all his ambition. He
waited until the Rlggs nnd the others
had got started in their various
machines. Then Ross proudly, con
fidently wheeled Into the road and
Speeded up.
1 "Whls!"
Mrs. Ross was half frightened at
ihe flying progress, but duly excited
and smiled quite joyously. After all,
there was something refreshing In
passing two or three neighbors with
a superiority of speed that must have
nettled them.
Zip I
Edgnr Ross laughed uproariously.
They had overtaken the Rlggs cur.
They had gilded by It like a meteor.
Looking back, Mrs. Ross saw their
social rlvuls fulrly engulfed in clouds
and clouds of dust.
"Some cluss!" chuckled Ross, as
they flew along. "I certainly picked
a rare plum when I grabbed this easy
bargain."
"We are nearly an hour early," re
marked Mrs. Ross, as they came with
in sight of the lights of the club house
at Clear Lake.
"And those other fellows will be
over an hour late, if they creep at
the pace they started," chirped Ross,
"Enjoying this?"
"It's very Inspiring, but in a breath
less sort of way," responded Mrs.
Ross.
"We've got lots of time to spare.
We'll pass the club house and strike
the paved boulevard leading to the
city. A ten mile spin over that
smooth road will bring out the real
merits of this elegant machine."
It did. There" was no discounting
the speeding qualities of the automo
bile. It seemed to bo possessed with
the speed demon of a professional
racing car.
"Over a mllo a minute, see that!"
exultantly nnnouueed Ross, as they
turned around finally to return to the
club house.
"Why, whnt Is the matter now,
Edgar?" inquired Mrs. Ross, as the
machine, which had hitherto behaved
superbly, began to buck, slow down
and pound.
He got out and looked over the
carburetor, radiator and vibrator. He
mnnnged to make the machine cover
about a mile at a snuil's pace until
they reached a roadside garage sta
tion. The mechanic cume out at the
signaling horn toot.
"Something the matter," volun
teered Ross and the mun looked over
the machine,
"Out of Juice, that's all," he ob
served expertly.
"Fill her up," ordered Ross nnd got
out while the man removed the seat
cushion and uncapped the gasoline
tank.
"Phew!" he ejaculated In a stran
gling tono, "get a whiff of that."
Ross applied his face close to the
orifice. He drew back, coughing and
sputtering.
"Chloroform!" he suggested in a
suffocated voice.
"No, ether," corrected the mechanic.
"What did you put that stuff in for,
anyway?"
"I didn't. I Just bought the ma
chine." "H'm" muttered the man artisan
thoughtfully and with a quiet smile.
"I see. Doped to sell."
"What (do you mean?" Inquired
Ross, his spirits sinking.
"Why, the machine probably won't
go very well on gasoline. That
vaporizing ether, though, Is dynamic,
and the fellow who fleeced you knew
just how to proportion the mixture.
Don't you try It dangerous."
He shot in five gallons of gasoline
and Ross started up the machine. It
went, but all Its speed glory hnd
vunlshcd. It crept, creaked. The
crestfallen Ross took a side roud to
avoid meeting auy of his rival neigh
bors. "What are yon going to do, Edgar?"
ventured Mrs. Ross.
"I'm going home!" snapped out her
incensed husbund, "I'm going to get
a wood axe and chop up this misera
ble wreck. Two to one if I don't
take the same Instrument and go
hunting for the villain who fleeced
me !"
It took three hours to get back'
home and then lu n drenching down
pour. Next day Ross sold the car for
what It would bring.
"Oh, Edgar," observed Mrs. Ross
two evenings later, "what do you
think? Mrs. Rlggs was over today."
"Gloating over their new machine,
I suppose," growled Ross.
"Not at all. They haven't any ma
chine. The one they used a friend
loaned them for a week, while he was
out of town. They think ours was a
rented machine."
"Don't undeceive them," directed
Mr. Ross humbly. "Next time any
neighborly rivalry gets me glug,
you'll know It!"
"Which Is a very senslblo conclu
sion," observed his pructicul wife.
Mosquitoes Killed With Drugged Air.
A 'round-the-world electrical engi
neer tells this story:
"We ran up to Bagdad to put over
a little deal with a pasha, a former
governmental official who had been
prominent In the days of Abdul
Humid, His palace was Infested with
mosquitoes and we hud to plan to give
him relief.
"He lived In the usual Moorish
house with high walls, flat roof with
parapets, few windows and open
court. Tho old pasha looked exactly
as If he had just stepped out of a
Broadway musical comedy with his
shining silk robes, turban nnd red
shoes with upturned toes.
"In tho palace garden was a stream
with a fall of about ten feet. It
would develop about one-fourth horse
power. We built a water mill,
equipped It with a dynamo, wired the
palace nnd started up some gigantic
electric fans. These fans cooled the
Mr and also blew through the rooms
a narcotic sufficiently powerful to
cause the mosquitoes to fall in a
comn. All that remained was for the
servants to go around nnd sweep
them up In piles to be destroyed."
World Outlook.
0r J ?'
- ,
r
7 3
VltW OF
LOOMING straight up out of the
sea the rOck of Gibraltar
stands today as it has stood
two centuries In the grasp of
Britain. Never ceasing In her vigi
lance Britain's thin red line of soldiers
has held this well-nigh impregnable
fortress year In and year out. Wars
have come and wars have gone, but no
power for a century has even threat
ened the looming, forbidding rock.
They say the central powers of Eu
rope offer to give the frowning rock
back to Spain If Spain will cast her
lot with them. But before the gift
may be made by the Austro-Gerraans it
must first be won. You have to catch
your rabbit, you know, before you can
skin It.
And in the meantime Great Britain
keeps her never-ending watch over the
portal of the Mediterranean.
Every moment, day and night, In
times of pence, as well as in times of
war, for upward of 100 years, a line of
British sentinels has stood on the shore
side of the rock watching out over a
narrow strip of low lying neutral
ground toward the shore of Spain to
guard against surprise. And every
moment, for over 100 years, a sentry
lias stood upon the highest pinnacle of
the rock and gazed out over the sea.
Generations of sentinels huve lived und
died and been replaced by others;
wars huve come and gone; no attack
has ever been made or even threat
ened against the rock, but the. eternal
vigilance bus never relaxed, not for
one minute In tho Inst 100 years.
The sleepless vigilance through the
century may well be taken as typical
of the bulldog temper of the British
people. They have salted this rock
down with their blood nnd bones. They
have given too many lives for It to
ever give It up now so long as a Brit
ish soldier lives to fight for it. And so
this precipice of rock, looming out of
the seu, looking out across the strait
to the shore of Africa, the mysterious,
keeps on brooding there in grim si
lence, with Its thousands of guns
shotted, nlways ready, ever watching
and waiting through the centuries.
Honeycombed With Tunnels.
Britain has held the Rock of Gibral
tar for 200 years .and has fortified
it so strongly that It has been known
for a century as "lmpregnuhle Gi
braltar." To capture it an attacking
force would literally have to pound the
vast rock to dust. Gibraltar Is honey
combed with tunnels and the muzzles
of the greatest guns in tho world
bristle from a thousand openings In
the face of the rock, like pins stuck
In a paper. What would those guns be
doing to a fleet or land force that got
close enough to throw shells against
ihe rock?
It Is very well to state, ns som'e mili
tary men have said these past two
years, that modern guns which can
shoot more than the 20 miles across
the narrow gap that divides Europe
from Africa could render the place un
tenable, but no power yet has seen fit
to try It out. The odds are too great
and the prize too Inconsiderable for
the pi-Ice.
Fruitless Siege of Four Years.
The last time an attempt was made
to take Gibraltar was 100 years ago.
France and Spain together undertook
to capture Gibraltar from the British.
Inside the rock, hidden In the tunnels
like ants In n bill, were 6,000 British
soldiers. Attacking them were 61,000
of the best trained' fighters In the
world and a fleet of 47 ships. For four
years the siege went on. It was one
"f the greatest sieges In all history
and there were many deeds of daring,
but the 01,000 had never a chance
against 6,000 sufely hidden in their
rock cells, just the muzzles of their
trims thrust out und hurling red-hot
iron shot.
That was n century ago. Ever since
then the humau moles garrisoned there
have been boring and bun-owing deep
er Into the rock, storing food and am
munition in great chambered galleries,
even below the sea level; mounting
larger guns and making the rock as
nearly unconquerable us possible. They
are never Idle, those human moles.
They are always making 'tho place
stronger.
Gibraltar has been the scene of 13
sieges and many battles. Its rocky
slopes have run red with blood. Early
armies rained their arrows against it
nnd their battering rams tried to pow
der Its natural walls centuries before
the age of powder and Iron balls. For
this Is one of nature's strongholds, this
western gate of the Mediterranean.
This cliff of solid limestone was one
of the Pillars of Hercules, beyond
which It was though anciently no man
might venture and live. Beyond was
Ultima Thule, the Inst island, the end
of all. Later the Phoenicians, ventur
ing oat Into the Atlantic to the tin
- 4
THt KOCK
mines of Britain, had a way station
nnd fort on the rock. Centuries later
the Carthageniuns erected watch tow
ers upon it to observe the galleys of
their Roman enemies. The Romans
captured it, and the Goths took it from
the Romans. The Moors, got it next
and held it for 800 years. The Moslem
hosts landed there to overrun Europe.
Always the power that held the rock
was a power dominating world com
merce, and never since the days of
Hercules has the rock been so forbid
ding as it is this minute.
REGION FULL OF ROMANCE
Khanikin, Kasr-i-Shlrln and Other
Points on the Caravan Route
to Bagdad.
The Khanikin region, where the
Russians were reported to huve been
checked some time ago in their ad
vunce upon Bugdud, is the subject of
the following war geography bulletin
issued by the Nutlonul Geographic so
ciety : i
It is a 32 hours' Journey, along a
much-traveled caravan route, from
Khanikin to Bagdad. The latter city
lies 85 miles southwest of the Turkish
border town which is situated on both
sides of the Hulvan river, a tributary
of the Diala, whose waters empty Into
the Tigris.
Nestling near the foothills of the
Zagos mountulns, with the fertile but
uncultivated Mesopotamlan plain
stretching to the south, Khanikin Is
commercial gateway between Persia
and Asiatic Turkey. Through it pass
the caravans which bear to Bagdad
the produce destined for transshipment
to the port of Basra on the Persian
gulf. To the east lies Kerraanshah, fa
mous for its carpets and Its horses,
and situated almost equidistant from
Tabriz, Telieran, Ispahan and Bagdad.
Not only does the traveler journey
ing from Bagdad to Khanikin meet
trade caravans, but frequently he en
counters curious funeral processions
of Shiite pilgrims making their solemn
way from various points In Kurdistan
to Kerbeia, below Bagdad. The faith
ful believe that there Is special virtue
in being buried near the shrine of
Iluseln, who fell at Kerbeia in GSu
A. D while battling with the enemies
of his father, All, son-in-law of tin
prophet and fourth cullph.
Khanikin is charmingly situated in
the midst of gardens, whose fruits
and palms are famous. Six hours'
Journey from here, on the road to
Kermnnshuh, is Kasr-i-Shlrln, once the
headquarters of a notorious robber
chief and Interesting on account of its
connection with the romantic legends
concerning Ferhad and Sbirln. Here
are to be found the remains of a rock
hewn aqueduct, which In ancient days
conveyed water for a distance of 15
miles in order that the gardens of
Sbirln might be made worthy of the
beauty of their fur-famed mistress.
The story of Ferhad and Shlrin Is one
of the. favorite romances of the East.
Ferhad was the greatest sculptor of
his day, and a great architect. While
making bas-reliefs of his sovereign,
Chosroes II, and of the latter's bride,
the Christian Shlrin (also called Slru),
the sculptor fell madly In love with
his beautiful model. Chosroes, so goes
the legend, promised to bestow Shlrin
upon his gifted subject provided the
latter would cut through the rock of
Bchistun nnd divert a stream to the
Kernmnshah plain. Ferhad under
took the task, but when the work was
almost completed an emissary came
from the false king bearing a tragic
story of Shlrln's death. The sculptor
In despair leaped from the rocks and
was dashed to death upon the sire of
his engineering triumph.
In this neighborhood Is Sur-l-Pulizo-hub,
where the AU Ilahls believe David
lived und where a rock-hewn tomb Is n
place of pilgrimage. This sect, sup
posed to believe iu the successive re
incarnation of the godhead through
1,0111 existences, had a remarkable be
ginning, for it is recorded that All,
who Is held to be their god, repudiated
the worship of his wouid-bo followers,
and when Ahdullu iSui Saba, an Arub.
proclaimed him to be God the disciple
and those who joined In protestations
of reverence were ordered east Into a
pit where fire was thrown upon them.
While the burning brands descended
upon the zealots they cried out In their
agony, "Now Is the certainty ot all cer
tainty that thou art God, for the
prophet has said, 'None but Uud shall
punish with fire.'"
A Warning.
"Cun you tell me, my good man.
If they take in summer boarders at
the farmhouse yonder?"
"Yep, unless the summer boarders
are smarter than the farm folks are."
The Clouds
They'll all blow by, those clouds that seem
To hide the splendor of your dream.
They'll fade and fly before the light
That follows as the day the night.
'Twill not be dark for long, for long,
While love decks life with light nnd song.
They'll soon blow by, soon disappear,
And where they float the skies will clear,
The sun shine out, the day be sweet,
And forth we'll go with dancing feet,
To find life's yoke of good and 111
Is measured fair to all men still.
The gloom will lift that haunts your heart,
We have our dreams; the dreams depart,
Our ups and downs, our griefs and cures,
But he lives best who plucks and shares
From life's blest service hope to make
The world seem best for dear love's sake.
You're feeling blue ; you must not mind,
The world, with all It does that's blind,
Still treats us well ; we should not lose
Our faith and trust or get the blues.
The tempest roars a little while.
And then the sunbeams sweetly smile.
They'll all blow by ; those clouds that gray
The ambient beauty of your day,
The shadows fall, but not for long ;
Behind them lurks the sunlit song,
The bloorn, the cheer, the love God gives
Through which the whole creation lives.
Folger McKlnsey, in the Baltimore Sun.
I' POULTRY POINTERS j
Turkeys do best when kept sepa
rate from chickens. If the two are
kept together the turkeys are likely to
take chicken diseases.
Watch for head lice on the chicks.
If found, rub top of head with a small
piece of lard free from salt.
Geese are probably the hardiest ot
all domestic fowls, requiring less at
tention than cows or hens, and little
or no outlay for buildings.
After the grass gets tough chicks
can catch more bugs and worms and
will grow better on loose soil. The
cornfield furnishes ideal conditions.
Dried bread crumbs, cracker crumbs,
milk, crackers and milk, parched oat
meal and curds will all prove very sat
isfactory for young turkeys.
People who fall in the poultry busi
ness are usually those who take it up
as a fad and not for the purpose of
making a living.
Avoid crowding by keeping In small
flocks nnd by providing roomy coops. ;
una mem out u tnere are too many.
The farmer who says that hens are
a nuisance generally speaks the truth
us far as his own personal experience
goes.
Clean feed for all kinds of poultry,
young and old, Is necessary for suc
cess. Filthy, moldy, musty or soured
grain will cause digestive troubles.
Creed of the Knocker.
"I believe that nothing is right. I
believe thut I ulone have the right
Ideas. The town is wrong, the editor
Is wrong, the teachers are wrong, the
people are wrong, the things they do
are wrong and they are doing them in
the wrong way anyhow. 1 believe I
could fix things If they would let me.
If they don't I will get tt lot of other
fellows like myself and we will have
a law passed to make others do things
the wny we want them done. 1 do not
believe that the town ought to grow.
It Is too big now. I believe In fighting
every public Improvement and spoil
ing everybody's pleusure. 1 am al
ways to the front In opposing things
and never yet advanced an idea or
supported a movement thut would
make the people happier or add to the
pleasure of man, woman or child. I
am opposed to fun nnd am happiest
when at a funeral. 1 believe in start
ing reforms that will take the joy out
of life. It's a sad world and I am
glad of It. Amen." St. Louis Post
Dispatch. Temperature of Trees.
It is not shade thut mukes it cooler
under a tree In summer. The cool
ness of the tree Itself Is to be consid
ered, since its temperature is about 45
degrees Fahrenheit at all times, as thut
of the human body is a fraction more
than 98 degrees. So, it will be seen,
a clump of trees cools the air as a
piece of Ice cools the water in a
pitcher.
It is for this reason that municipal
experts contend that trees should be
planted in the tenement districts of
large cities. If, they reason, the air
can be made cooler and purer by trees,
fewer children will die of heat ail
ments. As more city children die dur
ing the months of June, July, August
uud September than In any other pe
riod of the year the Importance of the
suggestion has received widespread no
tice. Genius of French Army Cooks.
The world-wide fame vf France as
the motherland of chefs has been en
chanced by the demands of war. The
cuisine ot the French army is far
ahead of the best cooking in any oth
er army. The "slum" of the American
cook soldier is not to be compared
with the savory stews served on the
French front in appetizing quantities.
This is not due to variety of supply,
but to the native talent of the French
man, who was a cook long before he
was a soldier. Granville Fortescue In
the Saturday Evening Post
Blow By
STAR OF FILM DOM
TV '"
Movie actress who Is known to all
followers of the silent drama through
her portrayal of "vampire" roles.
Fifty Thousand Men Now
Are Flying Over Europe
To the average American, the aero
plane still Is a wonder, a miracle, n
creation ot magic. In Europe men have
become so accustomed to it that chil
dren now talk of becoming "aviators"
ns they would be of becoming "police
men." Counting both pilots 9nd ob
servers, there ure more than 50,0(H
men now In Europe In dally flights
above ground. The number Increases
from day to day and before the war is
ended it Is possible that the number
will have reached 100,000. A hundred
thousand human beings taking to the
air every day and only six years ago
Glenn II. Curtlss made his first long
flight down the Hudson river n won
derful feut chronicled in the press ot
the world.
Traveling by Parcel Post. '
Though our parcel post is a wonder
ful system, enabling us to send all
kinds of strange things by mail, the
English system can do one thing which
we have as yet not attempted.
An Engllshmnn who was in a hurry
to reach a part of London with which
he was unfamiliar, called at the gen
eral post office to consult n directory.
Upon explaining his case, the clerk
gave him the startling information
that he could go by parcel post for
the payment of three pence a mile. -
He was accordingly placed in charge,
of a messenger boy who took him to,
his destination. The boy carried a
printed slip on which was written "Ar
ticle required to be delivered" with a
description of the parcel following.
Crookedest Railroad in the World
Vp California's Tamalpals runs the
crookedest railroad in the world. Ot
the eight miles of track the longest
tangent is but 413 feet. In one notable
instance the road makes five complete
loops and ties two complete now
knots to attain an elevation of 00 feet.
The end of the line Is about half a
mile higher than the starting point,
and there Is not one particularly steep
grade In the entire system.
Horseradish Sauce.
Horseradish sauce is made by mix
ing in bowl a tenspoonful of mus
tard, teaspoonful of vinegar, half tea
spoonful of salt, and a little pepper.
Break on this mixture the yolks ot
two eggs and beat with an egg beater.
Add olive oil until a thick sance re
sults, and then add a tablespoonful of
grated horseradish.
r m$m 1
lm f pi
Theda Bara.