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About The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930 | View Entire Issue (July 14, 1916)
B) 5AIDEE BALCOM
(Copyright, Wit), by W. O, Cbupman.)
Robert Laldlaw faced life, serious
and practical, at the age of eighteen
and took up its burdens like the sen
sible young man that he was. A sud
den call from home had torn him away
from pleasant student llfo, to find his
"It's the break-up, Robert," his fath
er had the strength only to say, "life,
fortune, future for me. I have lost
about all I had. The doctor says I
have only a few hours to live. I saw
what was coming and I wrote to my
two brothers, James and Henry. Here
are their replies. Choose for yourself,
Robert, between the two."
"As to what, father?" inquired Rob
"As to which you will live with.
Both want you. Both are bachelors,
Both will leave a fortune. It Is a vaBt
relief to me to know that you will
not bo without prospects."
It was a week later and after the
burial of his father and the settlement
"I've Found Employment, Uncle
fhiB poor business afTalrs, that Rob
ert sat down to read over the two let
ters his father had given him.
One was from James Laldlaw and it
read: "I shall bo willing to practically
adopt you, but I want to state the situa
tion clearly at the start so there are no
afterclaps. I have acquired a fortune
and my high position in life by fol
lowing a system. It you come to me,
I shall expect you to accept and live up
to Its conditions. You are old enough
to have done with the follies of youth,
and my disposition is such that at the
evidence of any delinquency or short
comings on your part I would dismiss
"Rich, but selfish, as father has often
told me," mused Robert over thlB cold
formal epistle, and thon his face bright
ened as be perused the second letter.
"I am a lonely old bachelor," wrote
Uncle Ilonry, "but not so old or per
verted that I do not realize that If you
are a live, up-to-date young man we
shall have a famous time together. It
will do me good to have a general
shake-up through such companionship
as I am sure yours will be. I under
stand that Brother James is also bid
ding for you. Well, he has the rocks,
and If you come with me you will have
to work, but I'll be your good friend
If you stick to me."
In one moment Robert Laldlaw made
his decision. He wrote a note to Un
cle James thanking him for his kind
ness, but declining to make his home
with him. He Indited a second to Un
cle Henry, also thanking him and an
nouncing his Intention of accepting
his kind offer.
All that Robert fancied this latter
relative to be he found him a jolly,
careless old man living in an antiquat
ed mansion, reputed wealthy, but per
sonally insisting that his means were
as a dime to a double eagle compared
with the massive riches of Brother
James. From the start Robert felt
that htB llfo had fallen In pleasant
places. He started out on his own
Initiative to find work the third day
after his arrival.
"I've found employment, Uncle Hen
ry," he announced that evening.
"Have, hey?" remarked his relative
with a quizzical gleam in his kindly
old eyes "what line, now?"
"Down at the steel plant,"
"You don't mean common labor
ing?" "About that. See here, uncle, my
bent at college was along mechanical
engineering lines and I've made up my
mind to learn all there is about metals
and construction from the ground up."
It was not all work and no play with
Robert. Uncle Henry never talked of
his riches, but Robert loarned that he
ai regarded as a substantial man In
capital way. Besides his possible
wealth, however, his long honorable
standing In the community had made
him respected, and the old man was
in fact listed with the aristocracy of
He Introduced Robert among good
people. There was a calculating ex
presslon In the wise eyes of Mr, Lald
law after he had spent an evening
with the Carrlngtons.
"Social leaders, my boy!" he ob
served. "And that queenly Helena!
How did she strike you?"
"Cold as Ice," replied Robert with
a slight laugh, "none of the genial
warmth of bouI of some modest yet
gentle-hearted girl like"
"Eh!" started Uncle Henry, as Rob
ert paused and flushed. .
"Oh! like those natural friendly
girls in the olllce of the plant," con
cluded Robert, generalizing.
"Your lofty Miss Carrington cut me
dead today, uncle," reported Robert,
luter in the same week.
"Oh, you must be mistaken," remon
strated Mr. Laldlaw.
"Not at all, It was palpable and
meant. You boo, I had my working
clothes on and tho grime of honest
abor shocked her sensitive spirit."
"H'm!" muttered the old man
thoughtfully, and then he went to hlB
lawyer. "See hero, Hunter," ho began
to the attorney, "I'm doing that boy a
"In what way?" was tho pertinent
Mr. Laldlaw narrated his story of the
disadvantages of menial employment
'n the eyes of "the higher social sot."
Ho further deplored the arduous labor
which was hardening the hands of h.ls
yrotege, the slow promise of final ad
vancement. The lawyer chuckled.
"Tired of the program, eh, already
that I laid out to make a real man of
your nephew?" he challenged. "What
you want to do rear him in the lap
of luxury and spoil hltn?'' '
"Well er you see "
"No, you see! Laidlaw," Interrupted
the lawyer briskly, "I've boon BtudyiiiK
young Robert and I'm glad to obsorve
his sense, courage and fidelity to ai,
Ideal. He'll work out right and make
you proud of him if you leave him
"Yes, but he may make frienda
among the well, the lowly that uia
bo a detriment to him."
"What!" rallied the lawyer, "after
your proud-tempered Miss Carring
ton?" "But suppose ho should fall In love
with some poor girl?"
"Suppose he did? . Do you want to
spoil his happiness? No, you go right
ahead on the course wo have marked
out. Robert is no fortune hunter or
he wouldn't have chosen you iiiBtead
of your brother, he would never have
rlBked catching an heiress by under
taking menial employment. He's gen
uine," concluded the -attorney. "True
blue all through and all of the time.
He'll land right. Mark my words."
There came a test. An unexpected
event transpired. James Laldlaw died
and In a will he had planned to change
when his nophew refused to live with
him, but which he had neglected to do,
hlB sole heir was Robert.
"Now he'll go off on his own hook,
I suppose," grumbled Mr. Laldlaw
to his lawyer; "no furthor use for me."
"Walt and Boe," advised the law
yer. It was a week later when Robert
came into the library and addressed
"Uncle Henry," he said bluntly, "I
want you to accept half of the fortune
Uncle James left me. You were closer
to him than I am, and should by right
Inherit It. You are not rich"
"Who told you that?" exploded the
old man. "If I've hidden my wealth
from you, It was for a purpose. All
the same," he said in a lower tone,
"I'm glad to see that you have a loyal,
"It's a division, no matter what you
say," declared Robert, "you see, if we
could all live together"
"We aren't we? What you up to
now?" demanded the old man suspi
ciously. "Why you Bee, there's a Nellie."
"And who is she?"
"Let me bring her around and see,"
suggosted Robert, which he did.
She was not of the born princess
type only a modest,- retiring girl but
luBlde of five minutes she had wound
herself about tho old man's ingenuous
heart just as she had done with Robert
Carrying the Law.
Very few of our lawyers carry the
green bags which were once a badge
of that profession.
"I think the sight of such a bag
once kept Joseph H. Choate from
coming to Philadelphia to make a
speech," Mr. Conlan said.
Mr. Conlen and another lawyer had
gone to New York to Invite the ex
ambaBsador to England to deliver an
address in Philadelphia. Mr. Conlen's
companion carried a green bag, which
he Inld upon Mr. Choate'B table, evi
dently to the Great lawyer's annoy
'What do you carry in that thing?"
"I have some law books." the young
Philadelphia attorney replied.
'When I was a young lawyer," Mr.
Choato said rather coldly, "I was
taught to carry my law In my head."
And tho invitation was declined.
No Need to Search.
0, thou that plnest in the imprison
ment of the eternal and crlest bitterly
to the gods for a kingdom wherein to
rule and crente, know this of a truth:
The king thou soekest is already with
First of the Breed.
The philosopher who said that it
Is much easier to die for the woman
you love than to live with her was
the original Blacker. Louisville Courier-Journal.
RS. FRANK ANDERSON of
New York, who has followed
her explorer husband into the
densest of jungles, has re
cently returned from a most toilsome
trip into the interior of Colombia. Mr.
Anderson Is geologist for the Standard
Oil company, and took four young as
sistants with him, besides his wife.
"I was the first white woman to pen
etrate that part of the jungle," says
Mrs.' Anderson, "As our little steam
er went up the Slnu the children ran
out from the mud and bamboo houses
calling, 'Mira! Mlra! Americana!' I
used to feel that I was on exhibition
all the time, and it was very bard to
dress the part, for my clothes wilted
and the very hairpins rusted in my
hair. It was so hot and damp that we
had to take off all the buttons and
metal buckles for fear of rust spots,
and our shoes fairly mildewed on our
"But by far the most interesting
part of the trip was the voyage up the
Slnu on the little 75-foot steamer.
Thore was only one camorote or state
room and only fifty feet of deck space
for the sixty passengers to swing their
hammocks. The captain gave me his
stateroom, since I was the only wom
an on board; but with the others it
was first come, first served. The ham
mocks were swung one above the oth
er like bunks. Some of the men slept
on deck and some on the table where
we ate! We had our own bedding, of
course, and I got through the HO miles
In comparative comfort,
"We found a beautiful house wait
ing for ub In Lorica, built In the old
Spanish mission style round a wonder
ful patio. Unlike most of the houses,
it was two stories high. It belonged
to the principal family of the province,
who owned the electric light, butter
and ice plants.
Life In Lorica.
"From my windows I could see the
women washing in the river, carrying
their bundles of clothes down to a con
venient stone and paddling them with
boards, then spreading them on bushes
to dry. Everything we needed in the
household was brought to the door
by natives. Live chickens and tur
keys, yuccas, mangoes, the yellow
fruit that tastes rather like a sweet
plum, cocoanuta and Uucas are all
poled down the river in canoes. Then
there la cocoanut flour bread rolled out
into thin sheets like Jowlsh matzos.
I liked to go down to the wharf on
market days, though the native ladles
never do. Even the cloth for their
dresses Is brought to the house in
bolts by the servants.
"As a matter of fact, they wear only
a jacket and skirt, It is so very hot,
less than nine degrees from the equa
tor. Children, even of the better class,
go entirely without clothing up to five
and six. And there are so many of
thorn! Fifteen is not a particularly
large family, and I met one charming
woman who had twenty-two. Grand
parents, father and mother, the mar
ried sons and daughters and all the
children live togother in the same fam
ilies with all their children In absolute
harmony. They keep a great many
servants, of course, for wages are very
low, and treat them almost like mem
bers of the family.
"The lower classes are a mixture of
Indian, Chinese nnd negro, but the
aristocrats are almost pure Spanish.
They are charmingly friendly much
more so than the Mexican women
and I became very fond of some of
them. They never could understand
why I wanted to go out Into the jun
gle, but they were too polite to say so!
They were very pretty in their white
jackets that looked almost like our
middles and the dainty little shoes, of
which they are so proud. Even the
native women who go barefoot have
small, slender feet and the most beau
tiful long hair. It Is almost always
prettily dressed in spite of the fact
that they carry everything on their
heads. I have seen woman with
two five-gallon oil tins filled with wa
ter on her head, but she only walked
a little stralghter than usual.
Going Into the Jungle.
"I never shall forget the start on
my own first trip into the jungle. I
wore a divided skirt, in which the na
tives were much interested. They
were more dressed than usual them
selves, and all the Indians we met re
tired aa soon as they saw me, and
'Oman m a
came back with skirts of bark and
"We had the usual hammocks, bags
of food, water barrels, mosquito nets
and cook tent loaded on the burros,
and had taken along a special camp
tent for me In case we didn't find the
usual empty house; but we only had
to pitch it once in all the week we
"The first night we camped In a
little open space, and the cook soon
had a fire going, with bacon and
yamas toasting over it. Every bit of
drinking water has to be brought
from a safe place and . then boiled.
But we didn't have to live on beana
and bacon. Even the woods Indians
raise fowls and cattle. There 1b not
wild game. You have to learn to eat
fresh-killed meat; but you have to
do that anywhere in that country. It
is too hot to keep anything even over
night My khaki suit was soon
streaked with dust and the heat from
the horses, but as there was no one to
see it I did not mind.
"We did have some shooting, for the
second day out a fifteen-foot boa con
strictor crossed our path. One of the
men shot It at once and the natives
skinned it. The colors In Its skin were
"They were nothing, however, to the
colors of the flowers. The tall grass
and the trees made It too dark in most
places even to take pictures, but
wherever there was a rift of sunlight
the flowers burst forth. There were
the wonderful pink accasla bushes and
a sort of bird of paradise flower with
one blue petal the other yellow and
red. The royal polnsetta grew tall as
a maple with its perfect blooms and
long pods and there were beautiful
scarlet and yellow orchids. We found
some very rare specimens. While the
men were looking for oil I looked for
orchids. Sometimes I would have to
be contented with an armful of scarlet
hyblscus, but usually I found what I
was looking for.
"I know something about geology,
of course, and there were many inter
esting formations. Suddenly the heavy
silence would be broken by the cry of
the machete man as he saw light
ahead, and we would come out on an
open space with perhaps a half dozen
mud volcanoes in active operation.
The men got off to examine every
strange or promising formation, of
course. I often went with the party
after that first trip during the months
we stayed in Lorica.
Up the Rio de Oro.
"Later we went up the Rio de Oro
In the launch as far as the country of
the savages east of Bogota. They
have never been disturbed since the
Spaniards drove them into their moun
tain fastnesses and they shoot at In
truders on sight with poisoned arrows.
We saw some of them like dark pieces
of bronze among the trees, but did not
go too near.
"The savages may have been afraid
of the puffing of the launch, for they
did not trouble us.
"The woods Indians greeted us with
the greatest interest, however. As
Boon as we made our camp they would
manage something In the way of
clothes and then appeal with fruit
and fowls to Bell. They were wonder
fully skillful and In a few hours they
had cut down and made a tree trunk
canoe when we came out on the banks
of Rio Sardlnata. It was hollowed
out, chipped off and a canvas Bhelter
arranged for me almost before we had
finished our arrangements to send
back our horses. The Indians with
their long poles took us down not only
the Rio Sardlnata but the San Miguel.
On the Rio Buzlo, a tributary of the
Catatunibo, we Baw natives killing
alligators along the banks. There Is
no swimming in these streams, for
they are full of alligators and sharks."
Disaster at Once,
She was an old lady. It was her
first holiday excursion, and she en
tered the compartment of a railway
carriage with much trepidation, and
sat down rather gingerly in one of the
corner seats. Just as the train was
getting into motion the engine gave a
shrill scream, or whistle.
Thereupon up jumped the old lady,
and, with a startled ejaculation, ex
claimed: 'There they are noo, ower a pig at
the very start!"
TAKE FISH BY WHOLESALE
Natives of South Pacific Island Hive
Their Own Method of Gathering
Food From Sea.
The natives of Rarotonga, one of the
islands In the South Pacific ocean,
have a singular method of catching
flsh in which the whole community
takes part. 1 On the shore of the is
land there are many long, narrow
lagoons, each lying between a beach
and an outer reef of coral, that usu
ally swarm with flsh. The natives
choose one of these stretcheB of shal
low water for the flsh drive, and
close all breaks in the reef by lay
ing nets across them or building up
rough barriers with pieces of coral.
When they have done that, bIx or
seven hundred men, women and chil
dren wade Into one end of the lagoon
carrying little, plaited fiber bags filled
with utu nut. In most cases the wa
ter Is about three feet deep, and no
where more than four feet; so the na
tives march slowly up the lagoon, trail
ing behind them the bagB of utu nut.
As this substance is wet it forms a pe
culiar narcotic, which it diffuses
through the water. The process is
called "poisoning the lagoon."
Half an hour Is allowed for the
"poison" to spread, and at the end
of that time all the fish are under
the Influence of the drug, and are
Bwlmmlng about In a confused and
aimless manner. The natives, armed
with long, pronged spears, form a line
that reaches from side to side of the
lagoon, and march along shouting,
splashing, and driving the intoxicated
fish before them. When the flBh are
all collected at the farther end of the
lagoon, the natives begin to cry, "Eh-hu-hu-u-u!"
and the barbed spears fly
In all directions. The natives are very
dexterous with the spears, and the flsh
are so sluggish, owing to the effecta
of the utu nut, that very few of them
Many of the "poisoned" flsh seek the
shelter of the coral reef and hide in
the crevices; and so some of the na
tives "flsh" the reef. They put on
glass goggles and sink beneath the
water, where they remain submerged
for one or two minutes. They feel
about among the coral for the listless
flsh, which they get with a short,
thrusting spear. These methodical
fishermen usually make the biggest
catches; but the merry men in the
open water enjoy the best sport. Nu
merous varieties of flsh are obtained,
but all have the brilliant and beautiful
coloring peculiar to the flsh of the
tropics. Youth's Companion.
FOUND HIMSELF UPSIDE DOWN
British Aviator Lived to Tell of Weird
' Experience That He Had
In a Cloud.
A British naval airman when flying
seaward recently entered a thick white
cloud and wholly lost his sense of
direction. He only realized that he
was upside down on finding that
things were falling out of his pockets.
Then his belt broke, and he had to
hang on by his knees and elbows. At
length he emerged from the cloud and
saw the sea apparently over his head,
but was able to right his machine and
continue his flight.
A young English aviator, the bullet
holes in whose planes bore testimony
to his repeated exposure to fire, had
one narrow escape with an amusing
ending. Mistaken for a German air
man, he was fired at by the French
and forced to descend through the
puncturing of his petrol tank. When
the mistake was discovered, of course,
profuse apologies were forthcoming,
and he was presented by the mayor
of the district with a bouquet.
Talking of bullet holes, by the way,
I may mention that the record sure
ly belonga to a British aviator who, es
caping from a hail of shrapnel, count
ed 90 separate punctures in his planes.
C. I Freeston ip Scribner'B Maga
zine. Enormous Waste In Hyphens.
In our campaign of economy an
American, writer suggests that we
should do away with hyphens. The
Germans build up enormous compound
words without any hyphen to break
them; but the English find one neces
sary for a simple word of five letters
like "today." It may be roughly esti
mated that each one of the two hun
dred million people who write Eng
lish writes "today," "tomorrow" or "to
night" three times a day. Half an
ounce of force is required to make a
hyphen with a pen or a pencil, so this
Superfluous symbol entails a total
waste of 2,190,000 pounds dally, or
enough to draw a passenger train
roujid the world. And "In my mind's
eye, Horatio" I see the printers' staff
hurling a million hyphens through the
office window for the scavenger to
pick up! London Chronicle.
Secret of Success.
The secret of success Is not a se
cret Nor is it something new. Nor
is it something hard to secure. To
become more successful, become more
efficient, do little things better. So
work that you will require less super
vision. The least supervision is need
ed by the person who makes the few
est mistakes. Do what you can and
should do for the institution for which
you are working, and the size of your
Income will take care of itself. Let
your aim ever be to better the work
you are doing. But remember always
that you cannot better the work you
are doing without bettering yourself.
The thoughts that you think, the
words that you speak, and the deeds
you perform are making you either
better or worse. Thomas Drier.
U MAW GRAHAM BONNER
COCOANUTS AT THE PARTY.
"The Fairies gavo a Party for the
Gnomes the othor day,'' commenced
Daddy as he Baw both Nick and Nancy
were all ready to hear their usual bed
"And their chief rrlde In the Party
was that they only needed one sort of
food and drink at least one kind did
"That sounds very mysterious,
D a d d y," said
Nick. "How could
"You see," con
"they invited the
to come to the
party to be tho
food and drink for
the Fairies and
their Guests, the
the Cocoanut fam
ily wore as proud
as proud could
fho Fairy Queen
Took a Bite.
Cocoanut, who sees all the little Co
coanuta grow up in Just the right
way began to talk to them. This is
what he said in Cocoanut talk,
"'Little Cocoanuts, now you sea
how important it is to be brought up
well. Here are all our family going
to a splendid Party given by the Fair
ies for the Gnomes fine little crea
tures they say those Gnomes are.
" 'Well, to continuewhich means
to go on,; for Professor Cocoanut al
ways stopped to explain what every
thing meant 'you see we are worth
while to have at a Party. They don't
need to have food and drink all sepa
ratelyhere we are both food and
drink. But now it is time to be off,
and they are going to take our mats
along, too, for they have Invited Borne
of the great big strong Brownies to
take these mats off us. They are
going to have quite a time doing it
but they are glad to bo of service to
the Fairy Queen.'
"As Professor Cocoanut finished hie
speech along came a great big Cara
van made of birch bark'. It was
drawn by one hundred Elves. And as
soon as they came to the Cocoanuts
they all hurried them ihto the Cara
van. "The Cocoanuts had never been
oft on a trip before. To be sure many
of their family had gone to the cit
ies, to shops and then to houses but
they were having such a noble trip!
To be given as food and drink to the
Fairies, Gnomes, Elves and Brown
ies! Well, they were so happy.
"After a rather rough but exciting
trip they all reached the woods where
the Dinner Party was being given.
There they saw the strong Brownies
with their sharp-pointed sticks ready
to make two eyes In each cocoanut
one for an air hole and the other for
the Fairies to drink out of. And they
saw the still stronger, bigger Brown
ies with their axes to take away the
thick mats the Cocoanuts wear
"And then the feast of the Fairies,
Elves, GnomeB and Brownies did have.
Those who had
worked so hard
said they had
never had such a
fine reward, and
the guestB were
happier than they
had ever been to
have such a new
kind of party. As
for the fairies,
they thought it
was a splendid
idea to have to
take drinks out '
of the Cocoa
nuts, and then
eat delicious lit- old
tie pieces of nut
meats out ot
"And just before Professor
coanut was all eaten up, the Fairy
Queen took both a drink and a bite
out of him, so he was the proudest
old professor you ever heard of in
all your days."
CHICKENS PERCHED ON ROOST
Tommy Figures It Out That Some
Would Be Perchers and the Others
Would Be Roosters.
"What is a roost, dad?" asked Tom
my. "A roost, my son, is a pole upon
which chickens sit at night,' replied
"And what's a perch, dad?'
"A perch Is what chickens perch
"Then, I suppose, dad, a chicken
could roost on a perch?" came the
further Inquiry. ;
"Of course," waB the smiling reply..
"And they could perch on a roost?"
"Why, y-yes," answered dad.
"But if chickens perched on a roost,
that would make the roost a perch,
wouldn't it? But if, just after some
chickens had perched on a roost and
made it a perch, some more chickens
came along and roosted on the perch
and made it a roost, then the roost,
would be a perch and the perch would
be a roost and some of the chickens,
would be perchers and the others
would be roosters, and " Tit-Bits.