Image provided by: Hood River County Library District; Hood River, OR
About The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930 | View Entire Issue (April 14, 1916)
Paint Now -N c ii ur 1 11111 hi i ii 'rn iTimni iMTunutuw auiu auiuuL The only Automobile School on the Pa cific Count maintaining- ft Gas Trartur Dept.. Usina; Holt Cattrrpillar, C. L. Ileal Tracklayer and Wherl Tractore, both in the achool and operating livid. 446 Hawthorne Are., Portland, Ore. Monamobile Oils and Greases and FEDERAL TIRES AND TUBES Free Tire Service. "THE HOUSE OF SERVteE." (jwrTnR car biippiv r .- gn "bi lie' ear can bin "1 Wlbli tt uvuiuiat, auuuuuvcu itno. De Style. "Here is a very nice pattern," said the salesman, "with the word 'Wel come' woven Into the fiber." "I see. I suppose that will do if you can add the words 'Tuesdays and Fridays.' "Louisville Courier-Journal. All In a Twinkling. A lady who had just received an in teresting bit of news said to her little daughter, "Marjorie, dear, auntie has a new baby, and now mamma is the baby's aunt, papa is the baby's uncle and you are her little cousin." "Well," said Marjorie, wonderingly, "wasn't that arranged quick!" Bos ton Transcript. Not a Youthful Saying. Mamma Don't you know that King Solomon said, "Spare the rod and spoil the child?" Little Leo Yes; but he never said It until after he got so old his mother couldn't lick him. Chicago Daily News. A Dialect. "That man observes all the rules of grammar, and never uses slang," said one girl. "Yes," replied the other, "hasn't he got the regular Boston dialect!" Washington Star. Appropriate Site. "I see where they have been fight ing near the site of the Garden of Eden." "Well, why not? Isn't that where all the trouble started?" Baltimore American. Very Often. "X Is an unknown quantity, Isn't it, mamma?" "It is to your father when I ask him to give me one." Baltimore American. Back aches? Stomach sen sitive? A little cough? No strength? Tire easily? All after effects of this dread mal ady. Yes, they are catarrhal. Grip is a catarrhal disease. You can never be well as long as catarrh remains in your sys tem, weakening your whole body with stagnant blood and unhealthy secretions. You Need PERUNA It's the one tonic for the after effects of grip, because it is a catarrhal treatment of proved excellence. Take it to clear away all the effects of grip, to tone the digestion, clear up the inflammed membranes, regulate the bowels, and set you on the highway to complete recovery. Perhaps one or more of your friends have found it valuable. Thousands of people in every state have, and have told us of it Many thousands more have been helped at critical times by this reliable family medicine. rnparel abe la taUet bra (ei rear ceataaieace. Tae Parana, Company, Colsuabua, Okio C Gcc Wo SneceMful Horn RemdiM Hii successful herb al remedies cure all kinds of ailments of men and womn with out operation, used from the wonderful Chinesa herbs, roots. buds and vefretAbiea. which are unknown to the medical scienc of this country. Write for blank and circulars. Sen! stamp. CONSULTATION FREiU. Address Hie C Gee Wo Chinese Medicine Co. ISiVs First St.. Portland. Ore. Mention Paper. P. N. U. No. 15, 1918 rHrTX writhe to avdrotiaen, pleeae mm- It's a Good INVESTMENT See Your Dealer Every Case of Piles Can and should be Relieved, even though fialvea, BtinnoHitorlr-ft and Dilators have f ft lit-1. It will cost you nothing to learn of a reliable method. Add ran THE COGLEY METHOD, 2454 W.ilnn.ton St., Portland, Oreaon Double Tread, Ponctute Proof Tires Made from your old onea. Last long ni Hran New Tirea. WB ALSO BUV OLD TIKES. We pay aa high aa 10c per lb. for auch aa we can use In Double Tfiul work, and the hlitheat market '"'-junk. Ship your Tirea at once or write ua. ORircnil vrnriHmw m ten ,tk, t. whe "1 repl look towt "J wort If th you fron W thin. Pj W why matt Pf man "I "V "J to f: cost price "V, exam " I Cornt . . .rtiuu it must nave been when nobody was lookin'." Washington Star. Complete Circle. "I got an umbrella back the other day." "How was that?" "I borrowed it from a man who bor rowed it from the man who borrowed it from me." Louisville Courier-Journal. . Wool Gathering. Walter Haven't you forgotten something, sir? Diner Why, I thought I gave you the customary tip. Waiter You did, sir, but you forgot to eat. Boston Transcript. Perhaps. "Some people say that our ancestors were monkeys." "Well," replied Miss Cayenne, "may be some of our ancestors would say the same of us." Washington Star. Very Much So. "Uncle James did a paradoxical thing this morning." "What was it?" "He wanted some things from town in a hurry, so he sent the footman on horseback." Boston American. ELDERLY WOMEN SAFEGUARDED Tell Others How They Were Carried Safely Through ' Change of Life. Dnrand, Wis. "I am the mother of fourteen children and I owe my life to Lydia E. Finkh&m s Vegetable Com pound. When I was 45 and had the Change of Life, a friend recom mended it and it gave me such relief from my bad feel ings that I took everal bottles. I am now well and healthy and recom mend your Compound to other ladies." Mrs. Mart Ridcw.Y, Durand, Wis. A Massachusetts Woman Writes: Blackstone, Mass. " My troubles were from m7 age, and I felt awfully sick for three years. I had hot flashes often and frequently suffered from pains. I took Lydia E. Pinkham'a Vegetable Compound and now am well." Mrs. Pierre Cournoyer, Box 239, Blackstone, Mass. Such warning symptoms as sense of suffocation, hot flashes, headaches, back aches, dread of impending evil, timidity, sounds in the ears, palpitation of the heart, sparks before the eyes, irregu larities, constipation, variable appetite, weakness and dizziness, should be heeded by middle-aged women. Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound has carried many women safely through this crisis. GAP IS! JHEME FOR MAKING MONEY Ing Bacheller, Head of Newspaper yndlcate, Would Buy Up All Great Auk Eggs In Existence. Vhen Irving Bacheller was running ewspaper syndicate and publishing uvenlle magazine in New York he ays sat In a large porch rocking ir before a tut desk so heaped with ers that every few minutes a little itolary avalanche would shoot n from it to the floor. One day on Lowell, the artist, who was a :ner in the magazine, found him In ore than usually meditating mood, said to him. What's the matter, Irving; got an .?" r"-e-s," answered Bacheller, very 'ly, "a big one. One that will :e us all rich. You know the great is extinct, and that there are only ' of Its eggs in existence They worth thousands of dollars apiece, a great auk itself would be price- . My notion is to get these eggs hatch 'em." 3ut how will you hatch them?" id Lowell. 3h," answered Bacheller, visibly Dyed. "I haven't given that point thought yet. But it's a mere de- -a mere detail. The plan is nd to succeed. And it will make all rich." Woman's Home Com Ion. The Practice. have no sympathy with these mclpated women who want to t the word 'obey' from the mar re service, and put themselves on equality with men." ifes, I believe with you, Mrs. Snap, t a man should be the master in own house. By the way, my hus d was disappointed that yours did join his poker club. Why didn't Dh, he wanted to badly, but I ildn't let him." i Poor Listener. Vhat was the lecturer's subject?1 Crnm ttia froHo n tha n-aira'" cered Mr. Dubwaite, who escorted Dubwaite to the hall under com- on." "Was the address worth hearing?" "1 can't say. I foil asleep during the 'cradle' part, and when I woke up the lecturer had Just spoken the final words in the cemetery." Woman's Way. "1 must say it's hard to give you up," said the disappointed suitor. "Well, if it will make the parting any easier for you, I'll introduce you to a friend of mine who will help you to forget me." "You are very kind." "But, on second thought, I won't. If Jhe did that I. would never forgive her." KEEPING HIS WORD. She My husband promised me that I should never hear a harsh word from him In all of our married life, and 1 never have. He H'm! How long have you been married? She Let me see. Just two days and four hours. A Sure Way. The meeting of the suffragette olub was on in deadly earnest. "How can we keep man at a dis tance?" howled the woman in sawed off skirt "By eating onions," replied the fe male In the plaid waist No Novelty. "When I took Mrs. Gaddy out for an automobile ride she was nervous all the time for fear we should strike somebody." "That was all put on. She's used to running people down." You Never Can Tell. "What business do you think your son will adopt?" "Can't say, but Judging by the hours Joslah keeps, I shall say he was nat urally content to be a milkman." The Vehicle. "So the fight was suspended for awhile, you say. Did the defendant go home in the Interim?" "No, sir; he went to the hospital Is an ambulance." KOVEnALLS- r Keep Kids Kleen If moil pftrtktl. ht!lMii,. pUytinw larmonU m ievrnlfd for ehtkltm I to ii of age. Made in one pMcewitl back, f r lii'twd on or 06, Mod ciruutattoa. Maile in blue denim, end blutwtnd while hickory Mripea lot all the yea round. Alio liuliier weiili!, fait'Color material in dark blue, cadet blue, tan or daik red for wmroer wear, all appropriately Uimind with fait -color gala tee, Made in Dutch neck with elbow aleevet tod higJi neck tod Ioob ateevea. 75c the suit 11 7iut wain vamim uvpsy yini, We will tend thrm, charge prepaid en receipt ot price, )c eacn, A New FREE "J1"" Suit fRttl1 Rip Beware ot Imhsrioria. Look for Made by ihaTwoHomf on iha Label. Levi Stroma & Co., San Franciaco jUsrdad GRAND PRIZE ll thl P. P I E. Huge Sums Spent for Chewing Gum. Washington, D. C The chewing gum habit has cost the American peo ple for chicle alone nearly (35,000,000 In the last ton years, or almost five times as much as we paid Russia for Alaska, according to figures furnished by the Bureau of Foreign and Domes tic Commerce, of the Department of Commerce. Normally our annual Im ports of chicle amount to 7,000,000 pounds, for which we pay about $2, 500,000 in the countries of origin, and to which must be added customs du ties in our own ports of about $750,000, Imports of chicle gum during the fiscal year 1915 were as follows: From Mexico, 2,197,000 pounds; from Can ada, 2,181,000 pounds; from British Honduras, 1,139,000 pounds; from Venezuela, 952,000 pounds; from the Central American republics, 26,000 pounds; from all other countries, 5,000 pounds. Chlclo Is not produced in Canada, but large quantities from oth er British possessions are handled through the Dominion. In 1913 the total Imports of the gum amounted to 13,759,000 pounds, and that Is the rec ord importation for any one year. In 1915 the total was 6,500,000 pounds. Chicle is the dried milky Juice of the sapodllla tree, which is one of a large family ot tropical trees known as bully-trees. Some of the gum Is used as a substitute for gutta percha, but the bulk of it is used in the manu facture of chewing gum. Easy. , "I suppose you'll soon be planting your vegetable garden." "Not me. It's too hard work. I can get all the fresh vegetables I want simply by letting my neighbors brag to me about their success at garden ing." Always Busy, Too. Hokus He has a steady Job for the rest of his life. Pokus Gee! What Is he? Hokus A professional reformer. Judge. How to stop dandruff and loss of hair with Resinol Here is a simple, inexpensive treatment that will generally stop dandruff and scalp itching, and keep the hair thick, live and lustrous: At night, spread the hair apartand rub a littlo Resinoi Ointment Into the scalp gently, with tht tip of the finger. Repeat this until the whole scalp has been treated. Next morning, shampoo thoroughly with Resinol Soap and hot water. Work the creamy Resinol lather well into the scalp. Rinse with gradually cooler water, the last water being cold. All druggists aell Resinol Soap and Ointment. Not Baby's Color. "I was rather surprised when the doctor told me not to give baby any blue milk. "Why?" "Of course, baby is a brunette, and blue is not her color. But I didn't sup pose that musty old doctors knew about such things. Louisville Courier-Journal. Then the Fight Started. "I don't see why you are so down on Jones." "He once tried to rob me of my rep utation." "You shouldn't have stopped him." Boston Transcript. Or Buy Swordflsh. "Henford is a pacifist, isn't he?" "Rabid! Why, he wouldn't let his Wife have cartridge paper on their din ing room wall." Boston Transcript Its Status. "Did Bibbs give his wife her new car voluntarily?" I rather think it was a case of auto suggestion." Baltimore American. HAN FORD'S Balssm of Myrrh A LINIMB NT For Galls, Wire Cuts, Lameness. Strains, Bunches. Thrush, Old Sores, Nail Wounds, Foot Rot, Fistula, Bleeding, Etc., Etc Made Since 1846. W Price 25c, 50c and $1.00 Ail Dealers 1 SS. wm For a . Galled Horse wmsj START FIRE WHILE IN BED With This Electrical Contrivance You Do Not Have to Get Up on Cold Morning. The elcctrlo Are starter Illustrated here makes It unnecessary to get up on a cold morning to light the grato. All that is required Is a spark coll of any size, enough batteries to operate the coll, an alarm clock, a battory switch, a box eight by three Inches, a tin pan, two cork stoppers and two needles. The stoppers are fastened to the bottom of the pan and the needles stuck through the corks, making s spark gap. The gap is connected to the coll and set under the grate. Some rags are bundled up tight and soaked In gasoline or turpentine and put Just under the gap. Over the rags are placed some splinters, and then wood and coal. The alarm clock Is wound and set and a loop put In a string over the alarm thumbscrew on the back of the clock. The other end is attached to a small switch coming from the bat teries. The other wire from the bat teries goes to the spark coll, and the opposite end of the switch connects to the coil. When the clock goes off the thumbscrew will revolve, close the switch and start the colL The spark will light the rags under the grate and start the fire. Electrical Experi menter. "Facllls Decensua Avernl." It would be easier to teach a dog to bark Esperanto than to stop folks from dancing. Nevertheless, why must they dance, to music which many persons believe was written for loftier pur poses? Ladles who were at tea in one ot our fashionable hotels the other after noon tell me they were somewhat shocked to see a roomful of people fox-trotting to the Btralns of "My Country, 'TIs of Thee." "I am not a crank," says one ot the fair objectors, "only patriotic." Who knows? Perhaps the day Is near when we may put religious as well as patriotic sentiment in cam phor, while we serenoly two-step out of church to the strains of a lofty reces sional. From Girard's "Topics of the Town" In the Philadelphia Publlo Ledger. New Form of Tetanus. A latent form of tetanus, hitherto practically unknown, was recently de scribed to the Academy of Science, Paris, according to observations made by Doctor Bazy, who has been study' ing it. It appears from thirty to fifty days after the patient has been wounded, ir respective of the fact whether a pre cautionary injection of serum haB neon given or not and without apparent cause, although it is more fspquent after an operation or a fresh outbreak of inflammation in the wound. The mortality Is unusually high, av eraglng from one-third to a half of the cases observed. Doctor Bazy con eludes that the first Injection when the wound haB been dressed Is insuf fi&leut and that the injections should be repeated every week. The Man With No Initials. Playgoers everywhere will regret to hear that that fine actor, Mr, Charles Hawtrey, has had heavy financial losses owing to the war. Mr. Hawtrey can be as humorods onf the stago as ho Is on it. On one oocj slon he was talking to a friend about peculiar names and initials. "By the way," he said, "I have a friend who is in a most unfortunato position. He actually has no initials." "No initials?" exclaimed his friend in amazement. "Why, how can that be? Hasn't he got any name?" "Oh, yes," answered Mr. Hawtry, with a twinkle in his eye. "But you see, each of his names begins with an aspirate and, being cockney, be always drops his h's." Redman's. Wood Pigeons a Nuisance. Wood pigeons have recently caused a great deal of damage to crops In Wigtonshlre, England, and the stew artry and farmers have organized a campaign against them. So large has been the increase of these birds that the depredations on the crops has be come serious. It has been arranged by the stewartry committee on fool production to observe five Saturdays as pigeon-shooting days. The arrange ments are In the hands of parish com mittees; and to all proprietors ot the county, the request is made to Instruct their game keepers to co-operate with the parish committee, and to allow their woods and lands to be entered, so that the best positions for shooting may be occupied. London Mall. 8alts Birds' Tails; Killed. A four-year-old boy, Bernard Weln ert, was killed In bis childish effort to prove the truth of tbe old adage that one can easily capture birds by putting salt on their tails. The boy and his mother stood on the curb at American and Poplar streets waiting for somo vehicles to pass. The child saw the sparrows in the street Quickly leaving bis mother's sldo, little Bernard ran toward tho birds, clutching a salt shaker, and be fore his mother could reach him he was run over by a wagon loaded with scrap iron. Philadelphia Dispatch Cincinnati Enquirer. Had an Answer. "She looked killing." "How can a woman look kllllne?r demanded the purist "I suppose It la when she looks dag. rs." answered the resourceful cart of the first part. , Save Money on Your Stump Blasting The explosives that get stumps out cleanest and cheapest are those that have a heaving and lifting effect, shattering the stumps just enough to break them up. Then you can handle them easily. " The farmer," says an Experiment Station, "should use an explosive that stands all ordinary shocks of handling and docs not easily freeze. He docs not need the expensive nitro glycerine that you THE Brack BOOKS We issue five valuable books. -i They tell how to remove stumps and boulders, blast ditches, break up the subsoil, and have earlier-bearing, thriftier or chards by blasting holes for trees. Write for tin book that you prefer. TYPHOID b no more neceaaary than Smallpox, Army experience baa detnonttrated the almost miraculous effi cacy, end harmlennesi, of Antityphoid VoccinaUoa. Be vaccinated NOW by your phyilclan, you and your family. It ll more vital than house Insurance. Ask your physician, druggist, or send for "Hava you had Typholdr" telling of Typhoid Vaccine, lesults from use, and danger from Typhoid Carriers, me CUTTH LABORATORY, BERKELEY, CAL. (aoauciNa vaccinis a sisuhs UNoaa u. a. aov. uctasa Made Him Nervous. A crowd of dirty-faced urchins were playing dangerously near the edge of a Providence pier. Suddenly an old salt, who had been a fidgety onlooker from the cabin of his boat, emerged from his favorite post and proceeded to soundly thrash one of the lads in question. Some passer-by, surprised by his actions, stopped to question the old tar thereon. "Wal, I'll tell yar," said the old fel low as he regretfully ceased his hold on the lad's collar. "'Tain't as I care a hang whether they fall in or whether they don't, but it's the danged uncer tainty about it that I can't stand." Judge. Politics. "I always like to meet a fellow who came from a farm," remarked Con gresaman Flubdub. "Yes?" "Yes. You can advise him to go back to it if ho lsn t a success, and congratulate him on leaving it if he is. Louisville Courier-Journal. Have Healthy. Strtraar. lieanttful Evaa Oculists and l'uyulciuua used aluriue ye Remedy many years before It was offered as a Domestic Eye Medicine. Murine la Still Com' pounded by Our Physicians and guaranteed by them as a Kellable Relief for Eyes that Need Care. Try It In your Eyes and In Baby's Eyes No Smarting Just Eye Comfort. Buy Murine of your Druggist accept no rJubstltute, and If IntereHted write for Boolr. of tbe Kye Free. Ul'iUMC HVK IltCMUUiT CO., CU1CAUO Hard Times. A gentleman in New Orleans adver tised for a man to do chores around the house and the advertisement was answered by a colored man. "Aro you married?" asked the pros- spective employer. "Yes, suh, I'se married," replied the applicant, "but man wife is out of Job. Dat's why I'se got to shif foh myself." Prospect of Danger. First Tommy (In the trenches): "Wot'cher lookin' so blue abaht, Bill?" Second Tommy: "Jest got a letter from the Missus, ter say er sister is puttln' up wiv'er and 'as got the meas les. It ain't 'art a go, if ain't wiv me goin' 'orne on leave tomorrer, and a dangerous trouble like that In the 'ouse." London Opinion. Too True, The bride is a pleasing young wo man, well known in Beardstown's younger social set, and enjoys the ac quaintance of every one who knows her. Beardstown Illinolan-Star. It Cures While You Walk. Allon'a Yn(H.''tum la ari.in ,m awcHlinK.i ullus.uii'l kivdI leu, aching feet. Bold by all Druggist. I'rlt-e 2.'.i'. Don't ncuept any ubmituto. Trial package t'HEE. Address AlleuS. OlmMed, Le Moy, 8. Y. A Giveaway. Mother (at tho party) Why did you allow that young man to kiss you? Daughter Why, ma! Mother Oh, you needn't "why, ma." One side ot his nose is powdered and one side of yours isn't. Boston Trans cript. The Modern Tourist. "Did Mr. Chuggins keep a notebook on his travels?" "Yes. But all he wrote in it was the number of blowouts he had and the amounts of the fines he paid." Wash ington Star. That Tired Feeling. He But doesn't my devotion arouse In you some feeling for me? She Oh, yes; the sort of feeling one takes a tonic for In the spring. Boston Transcript. Literal. "Some, I am sorry to say, fall by the "Well! aren't they hitting the trail?" Baltimore American. explosives. 1 housands use rARM Powders rUMPINO AGRICULTURAL, and save money because they go further than others. They are made especially to mh fPejtern farm conditions. Giant Farm Powders the product of the oldest manufacturer of high ex plosives in the United States are the only genuine "giant powders" for agri cultural use. They are made in two brands Jiant Stumping Powder, ideal for blasting in wet ground; and Eureka Stumping Powder, the money-saving, low freezing explosive for blasting stumps in dry soil. Ask your dealer for Giant Powders and blast ing supplies. If he does not have them we shall are supplied. GIANT POWDER COMPANY, Coo. "BvtrytMng for Blmtinj" Horn Of Hca i SAN FRANCISCO Office,: Seattle, Spokant, Portland, Sail Lata City, Denyir in i,i,,;e ! ItGI 'I' It ' r1 1 ii":! Metal Grain Bins HAT PROOF RAIN PROOF RUST TROOP WRITE FOIl PRICES Agents Wanted Coast Culvert & F!ume Co. PORTLAND, Ronton OREGON Can't Miss 'Em "I've invented something in an au tomobile horn. It's got all the others backed off the boards." "Can It beat those squawkers that make a man jump almost out of his boots?" "Can it? Say, this horn of mine scares 'em bo they can't get out of your way." Bad Advice. She Did you let papa win from you at poker, as I told you? He Yes, and he said that a dub who played such a poor game should never marry his daughter never. Boston Transcript. Such Is Life. "When we were first married I al lowed my wife twenty dollars a week for household expenses." "Yes, and now?" "She allows me a dollar and a half a week for lunches and carfare." Easy Game. "That dog of yours seems fond of chasing trains." "Yes." "I wonder why?" "Well, he isn't much of a fighter. Trains are about the only things he gets a chance to chase." Louisville Courier-Journal. Mean. "Green brags a lot about his ances tors." "Yes. They're the only members of his family in some time that have been worth boasting of." Detroit Free Press. When Appetite Rebels at mealtime, you can rest assured there is weakness somewhere in the diges tive system that calls for immediate attention. This suggests a trial of HOSTETTER'S Stomach Bitters It helps Nature bring back the $ fl 4 Ml ,i ii. s appetite and aids digestion