The Maupin times., March 17, 1916, Image 6

WEEK-END
PARTY
By JANE 08B0RN.
"There Is (Imply one rule and regu
lation for this party," Mrs. Torrey told
ber guesti whoa thoy arrived for the
week-end house party In her ram
shackle old country house that was set
back several hundred foot from the
road In a veritable forest of pine
. trees. "You simply must lock your
doors when you are not In your rooms.
Nowadays no one knows absolutely
that her sorvants aren't thieves and
pickpockets. But I can't give up en
Joying my friends on that account, so
I've limply bad keys fitted for all the
doors and the one thing that I must
Insist on Is that everyone's door Is
locked."
She bad been especially emphatic In
stating this requirement when Llda
Vinton and her cousin, Abby Stone, ar
rived late Friday evening.
"I have given you two girls the large
room In the left wing. Do, for mercy's
sake, remember there are two doors.
Now, I've warned you and I shall real
ly be very cross If you don't remem
ber." And then as she left the girls
on the threshold of tbelr room she
added: "We have dinner In half an
hour. Everyone here knows everyone
else and we are going to have just a
simple country time of It a little danc
ing tonight and a plcnlo at the sea
shore tomorrow. I have only one car,
bo the men will have to walk and the
girls can ride." And then she hurried
off to greet her other guests who were
arriving, calling back as she went:
"Don't forget to lock your door and
bring the key when you come to din
ner." "Wasn't It perfectly dreadful?"
-walled Llda after she and nor cousin
bad come back to tholr room as early
as they could properly leave the Im
promptu little danco downstairs. "Did
I show It very much? I'm sure I
turned pale and I actually thought I'd
faint. I haven't even seen Tom for a
month; not since we broke our en
gagement and had that dreadful quar
rel. And of course I didn't know Mrs.
Torrey had Invited him. How did she
.dare?"
. "She probably didn't know. But you
'didn't look half so upset as Tom did.
Everyone must have noticed the way
lie behaved. And he hardly ate a mouth
ful. At least you were well-bred
enough not to lose your appetite about
It. I muBt confess, however," Abby
.said, as she undid the hooks that
fastened her pretty cousin's bellow
ered dancing frock, "that it was rather
awkward. I hope you noticed that I
almost cut Tom. I was barely polite
to him and later when he asked me for
a dance I said I couldn't fox-trot, al
though I'd Just been fox-trotting with
Jim Hale and I know Tom knew I had.
' I think my meaning was plain enough."
"There Is no reason why you should
be exactly nasty to him, Abby. He Is
perfectly splendid fellow."
"I'd be horrid to any man that had
treated you the way be has."
"How dare you say that?" Lida
brought the bruBh down emphatically
on the dressing table. "How can you
think that he did? It was my fault. 1
Insist that it was and I wouldn't have
Anyone feel sorry for me for anything
In the world, Abby, you don't imagine
for a minute that the girls are sorry
for me, to you?"
"Oh, dear, no. Didn't I Just tell you
that you were a trump to go on eating
Just as If nothing had happened. You
-couldn't have looked more heartless if
you had triod, and you were certainly
looking very pretty. That dress ia so
becoming. I was proud of you, Llda,
You were splendid."
Then when the two girls had tucked
themselves into their twin beds and
bad said good night for the tenth time
Abby whispered, "Really, Lida, you
were perfectly great."
"Did you lock both doors, Abby?"
"Yes, and I put chairs against them
besides." A minute passed In silence,
and then: "Abby, let's push the beds
next to each other. I'm not afraid.
Still this Is a very big room." Ten
minutes later the cousins were again
on the way to slumber with their twin
beds touching. "What are you going
to da about tomorrow? You won't
want to go to the plcnlo will you?"
Abby asked sleepily.
"Indeed, I won't, and I have thought
It all out. You must go, for if you
didu't it would rather spoil the whole
party and you must say nothing about
my not going. I'll Just stay hero, and
when you get started you may say that
I have Just had word from home to re
turn at once. That's quite simple, Isn't
It?"
Tom, In the meantime, had been as
signed to a room in the other wing of
the house with his old friend, Burton
Jackson.
It was not till they had retired that
Burton broached the subject. "Devil
ish pickle you're In," he said laconlc-
-ally.
Tom merely grunted his assent.
"Going to the plcnlo tomorrow?"
"I am not," was Tom's answer. And,
:tnnnllke, that was the end of the con
versation. Just after breakfast they broached
tie subject for the second time. "Tell
hor Mrs. Torrey that I had a tooth
ache or something of that sort, Burt.
I'll stay In my room."
"All right, old chap, and don't f org it
to lock that door when you leave. You
know she Is nuts about having the
doors locked. Just leave the key under
the rug in the hall in front of the door
it you decide to leave. So long and
good luck."
Lida was, meantime, In a fever of ex
cltemenL She had decided to leave
and still she was determined tbat noth
ing should be said to the hostess ifTi
after the party had started, And Abby
bad lingered In the big room to add
her last touch of encouragement.
"Please be nice to blm, Abby," Llda
was tolling hor, and than the subject
of the conversation was quickly
changed as Mrs. Torrey pounced Into
the room by the side door.
"Do hurry, girls. The car Is wait
ing for you. I'm going to motor over
In the little roadster with the provi
sions and there'll be Just room for you
girls In the big car." And then she
flounced away, taking the key of the
side door with her. She must have
called back telling the girls that she
had this key, but they did not hear
ber.
It took at least five minutes more
for the couBlns to bid each other fare
well and then Abby started. "I'll take
this key," she said, "and you can leave
by the side door. Yes, you had better
lock It. Mrs. Torrey was so particu
lar. No, I wouldn't leave the key with
the cook, for she might be the very
one who steals things. No, you'd bet
tor take it and mall It back, I can Just
use this one door all the time. The
other one on the back stairs might
Just as well be locked, anyway. Mrs.
Torrey might bave known we wouldn't
ever use It." And then Abby left her
cousin and for a half hour or more
Llda spent ber time packing ber be
longings. Thon she wrote a letter to her host
ess explaining ber regret that she had
hastily been summoned home. She
thought for full five minutes of writ
ing a letter to Tom, too. Without the
slightest Idea of the pretext on which
to write it, she wanted blm to know
that she was leaving for his sake. But
she thought better of it, and after spoil
ing half a dozen sheets of paper gave
up the attempt.
It was about eleven o'clock when
she decided to make her exit. Thore
wag a train at a quarter of noon, and
thus she had ample time to walk to
the station, buy her ticket and catch
that train. But the side door of the
room was locked. Of course It was,
because Mrs, Torrey had locked it.
The front door was locked, too. This
Llda knew, for Abby had locked It and
had the key with her.
For the first few minutes Llda sim
ply sat down and wept, and then she
decided to use hor wits. There were
no transoms over the doors and there
wasn't a sign of a balcony or vine any
where near the windows. To escape
tbat way, Llda would simply have to
leap, and that was out of the question.
There was no use trying to attract the
attention of the neighbors, for the
house was surrounded by pine trees
that cut off a view of the road and
neighboring houses, and the cook's
quarters were In the opposite wing.
The man of all work had gone to the
picnic, so there would be no chance of
summoning him to her aid. The only
thing, obviously, to do was to break
down the door or pick the lock. What
If she did ruin a perfectly good door?
It waa surely not her fault if her host
ess had locked her in her room.
A few minutes after that Tom, nurs
ing his grievance and feigning a
toothache in the opposite wing of the
house, heard strange rappings, a per
sistent scraping and scratching that,
as he listened intently, he convinced
himself could not be caused simply by
the wind. He followed the sound to
Its source and listened at the keyhole
whence the Rounds came.
"Sugar!" he heard in a very much
irritated feminine voice, and then
"Ouch!" followed by sobs.
"Who's there?" he asked, and then
in Llda Vinton's voice came back dis
tinctly: "Tom, you dear, you angel!
How good of you!"
"It's all right, dearie," he was sooth
ing, and then as he heard the sobs
again: "Don't worry, dear. I'll get you
out somehow If I have to smash the
door in. Just slip a hairpin through
the crack under the door. Now keep
a stiff upper lip, Llda, dear, and I'll
get you out all right."
"How dare you call me that?" Llda
askod, with an attempt at indignation.
"Why shouldn't I If I want to? If
you knew that I had come down to
this house party especially to see you,
that the house party was given Just be
cause I asked MrB. Torrey to give it
and if you knew that I had fixed it up
with her especially to have the picnic
on the beach so that I would have a
chance to see you alone If you knew
that I knew that you wouldn't go on
that account, and If you knew that I
can unlock the door, not With the hair
pin, but with the key that Mrs. Torrey
took out and gave to me before she
went, what would you say? You are
really my prisoner, now, and unless
you promise to come out and kiss and
make up I am not going to let you out
at all. I am not traveling under false
colors. I am not making you think
that I am rescuing you. That was
Mrs. Torrey's idea. I like my own
method better."
Tom listened eagerly through the
koyhole. First there was a low sob
and then: "Tom, I can't stay in here
any longer. I want to come out and
make up. I'm sorry."
And Tom opened the door.
(Copyright, MI6, by the MeClure Newspa
per Syndicate.)
The Concrete Idea.
"Do you believe there are sermons
in stones?" asked the thoughtful maa
"That depends," replied the emi
nently practical person.
"On what?"
"On whether or not you get enough
stones together to build a church."
Paw Knew the Answer.
Little Lemuel Paw, what's s finan
cier? Paw A financier, son, is a man who
can Induce other men to get busy and
pile up a fortune for him.
APPLAUSE IS OF MANY KINDS
But There's No Mistaking the Oenulns
Article, When It Is Heard, Says
Victor Murdock.
With nearly every successful ad
dress applause plays a leading part,
writes Victor Murdock In Collier's
Weekly. Thore are sovoral varieties
of applause. The common varloty Is
the perfunctory handclap a poor,
weak contribution which makes a but
terfly look long lived In comparison.
A second variety is the charity offer
ing of an audience to the oratorical
boggar.
The speaker ends a profound decla
ration with a pauBe which Is next door
to an open declaration of war If the
audience doesn't come across. Or be
works himself up In a series of mental
paroxysms which Impel the auditors
to rush to his rescue before it Is too
late. All spellbinders pocket this va
riety of applause as real coin. Of
course it 1b nothing of the kind.
The genuine tsBue in laudation is a
spontaneous and volcanic eruption of
approval and delight. It blows out
violently from the subterranean fires
of folk, and when it has reached its
climax there comes, suddenly and gor
geously from the midst of it a second
and more terrible explosion, and as
this is reaching Its highest point, a
third and seismic spasm rockets up
through bedlam and overwhelms ev
erything and everybody. This Is the
real thing. It cannot be made to or
der and it cannot be counterfeited.
The prearranged outbursts at national
political conventions following the
nominations are pitiable attempts to
manufacture It. Claques and coteries
of devotees try occasionally to pro
duce it mechanically. They never do
successfully. '
All veteran speakers know it, and
having experienced it, live on In the
bright expectancy of the golfer who
has accidentally driven 275 yards and
believes that any minute It Is liable
to be done again. There are many
communities which have never wit
nessed such a scene. They never will.
For there are some communities that
are strangers to all manner of re
sponse. Rum and Mahogany.
What will the schooners, laden with
New England rum for West Africa,
bring home? That question may have
puzzled many who have noted the
strange revival of the rum traffic that
used to flourish in the slavery days. It
may have been thought that the rum
paid for the round voyage. A four
masted schooner, the first to go out,
has now returned to Boston with 486,
673 feet of mahogany In logs from
West Africa, a cargo of no small
value. The round voyage has con
sumed seven months, the loading of
the mahogany being a slow process
owing to the Indolence of West Afri
can labor. At the dock was another
capacious windjammer ready to sail
with 200,000 gallons of rum, 1,500 bar
rels of flour and other things that the
natives seem to be in need of. As
many as six sailing vessels have en
tered this trade since last spring.
Providence Journal.
Last "City Poet."
Elkanah Settle, a copy of whose
rare "Augusta Trlumphans" has Just
been presented to the Guildhall li
brary, is forgotten by an ungrateful
posterity, but was once a prominent
personage In the literary world at Lon
don, and considered a serious rival to
Dryden, by whom he is satirized as
"Doeg." He was the last of the "City
Poeto," retained at a salary of $30 a
year to perpetrate triumphal odes for
Lord Mayor's day, and similar
pageants; and his verses,' as Wilkes
observed to Doctor Johnson, matched
the queerness of his names. Settle
was a most prolific poetaster, but
somehow never prospered, though he
repeatedly turned his coat in religion
and politics. He was reduced to play
ing "the green dragon" at Bartholomew
fair, and died a poor brother of the
Charterhouse. Westminster Gazette.
Traveling Men Talk Too Much?
There may be someone who has won
dered why traveling salesmen or
"drummers" are such great story tell
ers. There's a reason.
' The traveling salesman who has a
good sense of humor, who can tell a
good story and who reads good litera
ture is bound to succeed, according to
Prof. E. J. Swift, psychologist of
Washington university, who talked he
tore business men at the Cahanne
branch library. His subject was "The
Qualities of a Salesman."
Professor Swift also said that most
traveling men talk too much and that
the smile and handshake is overdone.
The salesman is too polite, the lec
turer said, and should learn to be a
good listener, and talk "with" and not
"at" a man. St. Louis Star.
Weds, Has 192 Grandchildren.
W. B. Davis, ninety-four years old
and father of 41 children, 33 of whom
are alive, was married in Cabool, Mo.,
to Mrs. Macon, thirty-nine years old.
Twenty children and more than 100
grandchildren of the bridegroom at
tended the wedding. Davis has 192
grandchildren and several great-grandchildren.
This is his fourth venture
in matrimony. He Is enjoying good
health, but has complained of being
lonesome. Springfield (Mo.) Dispatch
Kansas City Star.
Safe.
"So you think you are safe in mar
rying a widow?"
"Yes, my case is different. You see
her former husband never made half
the money I am making." Detroit
Free Press
GOOD TOAST REQUIRES CARE
8oms Principles to Be Observed If
One Would Have the Dainty
at Its Best.
The principle that undorllos toast
making is threefold: .
1. Heat evaporates moisture through
out the slice of bread.
2. Intense beat changes the con
tents of the starch granules on the
surface of the bread to dextrin,
3. Intense heat, long continued, will
change first the surface starch and
then all to carbon (charcoal.)
A good cook will secure the first
two, and avoid scorching the bread.
Successful toast making depends up
on these points:
The selection of bread already par
tially dry.
The cutting of bread Into slices of
uniform thickness.
Regulating the source of heat.
Placing the slices firmly In a toast
er or on a fork or evenly on a rack
when toasting by gas.
Keeping the toast at a distance from
the source of heat that insures a steady
but not too rapid change.
Turning the slices, or the toaster,
to cook each surface In turn and thus
make the process slower.
Stopping the process before the
carbon is formed and the toast
burned.
EASILY MADE SWEET PUDDING
But to Be Perfect It Must Be Pre
pared Twenty-Four Hiurs Before
It Is Served.
Only the foresighted housekeeper
heed choose this pudding, because It
must be prepared twenty-four hours
before It Is to be served. It Is, how
ever, so very simple and has so high
a food value that it amply rewards
the cook for the care needed in its
preparation. One dozen lady fingers,
two cakes of German sweet chocolate,
two tablespoonfuls sugar, two and one
half tablespoonfuls water, four eggs,
vanilla to taste.
Into a spring form carefully lined
with wax paper put a layer of lady
fingers. Melt the chocolate and sugar
In the water over a moderate fire.
When it is thoroughly dissolved take
from the fire and cool. Then add the
yolks of the eggs, one at a time, and
keep beating. Next put In the vanilla
and last the stlffy beaten whites of
eggs. Pour half of the mixture over
the lady fingers in the mold and then
spread another layer of lady fingers
upon which the remaining custard is
poured. A layer of lady fingers comes
last, dusted over with finely chopped
almonds and powdered sugar. Set in
the icebox twenty-four hours and serve
with whipped cream.
Peach Delight
Beat one egg till light with three
tablespoonfuls sugar; add four table
spoonfuls melted butter, half teaspoon
ful salt, one cupful milk and two cup
fuls flour with which has been sifted
two level teaspoonfuls baking powder;
when well mixed stir in one cupful
sliced canned peaches, which have
been drained free of all Juice, being
careful not to break slices; turn into
large bread pan and bake 45 minutes
in moderate oven as you would cake;
serve warm on large platter, piled high
with whipped cream sauce. Garnish
with slices of peach.
Sauce: Whip half cupful heavy
cream till quite thick, then gradually
add two tablespoonfuls heavy sweet
peach Juice, one teaspoonful powdered
sugar and four drops vanilla.
Meringues.
One cupful egg white, one-quarter
teaspoonful salt, one cupful fine gran
ulated sugar, half teaspoonful vanilla;
add salt to eggs, beat until very stiff,
add two tablespoonfuls sugar, beat
five minutes; so continue until half
sugar is used. When ver7 stiff cut and
fold in remaining sugar; drop in by
spoonfuls on to wet paper on inverted
dripping pan; hake In a slow oven 30
minutes; remove from paper, take out
uncooked portion, dry la oven, cool
and fill with ice cream which can be
purchased, halt pint, or fill whipped
cream; put two halves together.
Soft Gingerbread.
One teaspoonful molasses, one-third
cupful butter, one and three-fourths
teaspoonfuls soda, one-halt cupful sour
milk, one egg, two cupfuls flour, three
teaspoonfuls ginger and one-half tea
spoonfuls salt. Put butter and mo
lasses in saucepan and cook until boil
ing point is reached; remove from fire,
add soda and beat vigorously. Then
add milk, egg well beaten and remain
ing Ingredients mixed and sifted.
Bake about fifteen minutes in a hot
oven.
Orange Cream.
Boll the rind of a Seville orange
very tender; beat it fine in a mortar;
put into it the Juice of a Seville
orange, four ounces of loaf sugar and
the yolks of four eggs. Beat all to
gether for ten minutes, then by gentle
degrees pour in a pint of boiling
cream; beat till cold. Put Into cus
tard cups, set into a deep dish of bell
ing water and let them stand till cold
again. Put at the top small strips of
orange paring cut thin or preserved
chips.
Effective Cleansers.
For cleaning the Inside cf water bot
tles, long-neck vases and pitchers, try
raw grated potato, soft tissue paper
wads, the inside skin of the egg, or
ammonia soap suds before using gun
shot, which Is sc apt to break or crack
the article. Sometimes lemon Juice
and salt with grated raw carrot will do
the work.
MADE WITH APPLES
DELICACIES PREPARED FROM
THB HEALTHFUL FRUIT.
Punch Has Long Been a Favorite, but
May Be Nsw to Some Reolpe
for Raised Biscuit Apple
schmarran Excellent.
Apple Punch. Cut six tart apples
fn quarters; core, but do not pare; put
Into a preserving kettle and add one
cup of raisins, two bay leaves, a small
piece of stick cinnamon, the grated
rind of three lemons and two quarts
of cold water; let come to a boll and
add two quarts more of cold water,
cover and let boll for thirty minutes;
drain through a muslin bag. When
cold add the Juice of three lemons and
two pounds of sugar; stir until the
sugar Is dissolved. When ready to
serve, add a little shaved Ice.
Raised Apple Biscuit. Scald one
cup of milk, add one tablespoonful of
sugar and one tablespoonful of butter;
let cool. Add one-half cake of yeast
dissolved In warm water, one tea
spoonful of salt and one cupful of
flour. Let rise; add cupful of apple,
pared and grated, and one cupful of
flour sifted with one-half teaspoonful
of soda. Let rise for one hour. Shape
Into two flat cakes, let them double
their hulk, bake In hot oven, split
while hot and butter. Serve hot with
sugar and butter.
Apples and Rice. Pare and core
apples, place In a baking dish and fill
the holes In the apples with chopped
raisins and sugar; fill the spaces be
tween the apples with rice that has
been boiled for fifteen minutes. Cover
and bake for fifteen minutes, remove
cover and bake for fifteen minutes
longer. Serve hot with cream.
Apples In Rice Cups. Boll rice in
salted water until tender. Half fill
coffee cups and let stand until cold.
Stand In a pan of hot water until they
will slip from the cup easily. Scoop
out a small place and lay a quarter of
an apple that has been cooked In a
rich sirup In the cavity. Serve with
the apple sirup or cream.
Apple Relish. Three pounds of ap
ples diced with the skins on. Take
three pounds sugar, one pound raisins,
one pound pecans, two oranges; re
move peeling and grind it in meat
grinder; then cut the orange into
small pieces. Cook for one hour, add
ing the nuts five minutes before re
moving from the stove.
Apple Schmarren. Make a batter
of one tablespoonful of pastry flour,
two tablespoonfuls of milk, a pinch of
salt and a well-beaten egg. Slice into
this batter one good sized apple. Put
Into a frying pan one teaspoonful of
clear lard, heat It and pour In the bat
ter, fry a nice brown and serve with
powdered sugar.
Steak Supreme.
Select a sirloin steak at least an
Inch thick; have ready cooked in
brown stock until tender halls or dice
cut from carrots and turnips, half a
dozen of each for each service, also for
each service two small onions. For a
steak weighing about two pounds, melt
and brown three tablespoonfuls of but
ter, in It stir and cook five tablespoon
fuls of flour until flour 1b well browned,
then add one-half teaspoonful salt and
one and one-half cupfuls rich, dark
brown broth; stir sauce constantly un
til it bolls, then add cooked vegetables
and about a dozen canned mushrooms;
let the whole stand over hot water
while steak Is being cooked; cook steak
about six minutes; set steak In hot
dish, turn vegetables and sauce over
It and set all in hot oven, to stand
about four minutes; sprinkle steak
with a teaspoonful or more of fine
chopped parsley and serve at once.
Veal Cutlets In Gravy.
One slice veal steak. Remove bone
and cut in size you wish to serve.
Place in frying pan with one cupful
water, cover and allow to simmer.
Add seasoning and good piece of but
ter. Turn and let cook slowly about
one hour, and Just before removing
add one-half cupful of milk or cream.
Easy to cook and tastes like chicken.
For those who like the flavor add one
small onion when the seasoning la
added.
For the Farmer's Wife.
Steel knives and forks should not
be wrapped in woolen. Good, strong
paper is better, as steel is injured by
lying In woolen.
Woodenware should be scalded of
ten and tinware should be kept dry.
A dress shield cut in two pieces
and tucked under a baby's fancy bib
will absorb the moisture and keep
the little dress from becoming damp
and soiled.
To 8ave Toll. ,
Clean your bathtubs with whiting
and kerosene oil. Little rubbing is re
quired, as the oil removes the "high
tide" line readily and it will not in
jure the enamel of tub, which cannot
be said of all cleaning powders. Last
ly, wash with warm suds and polish
with dry cloth.
Radish Garnishes.
Radishes are a pretty garnish for
all cold meats, and the better In that
they are eatable parsley is not eaten
by many. Always leave on the two in
ner leaves and cut oft the tip or make
the radish tulips.
Rusty Flat Irons.
To remove rust from Satirons satur
ate a piece of flannel with ammonia,
then rub the Irons. Dry with a cloth
sprinkled with powdered bath brick.
TK tahUt fnrm nf this old
reliable remedy makes it possi
ble for you to check any illness
at the very onset It Is a safe
guard against coughs, colds and
other catarrhal conditions, do
matter what symptoms are
manifest Catarrh is an lniamma
tion of thf mucous membrane that
lines the breathing apparatus and
the digestive apparatus. PERUNA
relieves catarrh. In tablet form it Is
EVER-READY-TO-TAKE
Its prompt action makes it In
valuable for men and women ex
posed to sudden changes la the
weather or compelled to be out in
slush and rain.
It will also be found most satis
factory as a tonic following an at
tack of illness.
CARRY A BOX
wherever you so. Travelers tod othemcora
pelled to take loni drives la the cold and
anyone wbou occupation subjects blm lo
th daiuler of sudden colds may use It as a
preventive with tbe assurance that the
tablets made are from the same formulary
as tbe liquid medicine with its 44 years of
success before the American Public
airWaaaCeapaaf, CeleaAai, Okie
Ha Sure Knew Him.
"Where are you going, all dressed
up?"
"Over to Danville to a wedding."
"Who's getting married?"
"Old Bill Onions Know him?"
"Sure I know bim. Bill Onions that
lives on tbe Henshaw place."
"No, he rents the Jones farm."
"Big stout fellow?"
"I'd call him rather slim."
"I don't think so. Had lots of hair
the last time I saw him."
"Cross-eyed like?"
"Not so you could notice."
"Got a son by his first wife, about
13 years old tall, skinny boy with
funny teeth?"
"No. Bill's never been married be
fore." "I guess I know him, though I
wouldn't be sure. Who's he marrying?"
"Tom Garden's widow. Know her,
maybe?"
"Little bit of a woman with red
hair?"
"Gosh, no; she weighs 200 and her
hair's black as coal."
"Drives a car, doesn't Bhe?"
"I reckon not I reckon she never
rode In an automobile In her life."
"Well, give 'em my regards. They'll
probably remember me." Newark
News.
"A Lot of Influence."
Sir Wilfrid Laurier, the former
prime minister of Canada, was Im
mensely popular with all classes of
Canadians, and many went so far as
to credit him with authority far be
yond the limits of the dominion.
It is related that some years ago an
Illiterate old Canadian visited Quebeo
from his home in the country, and got
into conversation with a friend whom
he met there. In the course of their
talk the name of Queen Victoria was
mentioned, and the old countryman
was astounded to hear that her ma
jesty was dead.
"Dead!" he exclaimed. "Then who
has taken her place?"
"The Prince of Wales has now be
come King Edward VII," he was told.
"By George!" cried the countryman,
with a sharp whistle. "The prince
must have had a lot of influence with
Sir Wilfrid Laurier to get a big Job
like that!" Pearson's Weekly.
Abner Was Landed.
Charles F. Murphy, the Tammany
leader, remarked a few days ago that
when the fair girl casts her net the
poor fish might as well yield, and told
this story as an illustration:
"Recently a man returned to his
home town after an absence of many
years and rambled down to the corner
grocery to get wise.
" 'I suppose,' remarked the oldest
inhabitant in handing him information,
'that you remember Sim Simpkins?'
"'Oh, yes; I knew Sim very weU,'
answered the former resident 'I also
knew bis daughter Mary. Went to
school with her. They say that after
watting fifteen years she married a
struggling young man.'
"'Ain't no doubt about that Strug
glln' part of It,' was the grinning re
Joinder of the oldest Inhabitant. 'Seta
done his derndest to git away, but
Mary landed him, all right.'" Phila
delphia Telegraph.
GOOD
APPETITE
GOOD
HEALTH
A SPLENDID IDEA
The appetite ia an ex
cellent barometer of the
condition of the "inner
man." Watch it, and
when it loses its accus
tomed keenness, try
HOSTETTER'S
Stomach Bitters
It is an excellent tonic and
appetizer. Get the genuine.