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About The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 28, 1916)
i j Night and Dawning By H. M. EGBERT "IHWIKIKI8 (Copyright, 1915, by W. G. Chapman.) 1 don't know what to do with my self evenings," sighed Ronald Cray, leaning out of the back window of his bachelor apartment and survey ing the glooomy flats around him. Two months before he had been sum moned home from New Mexico, where his power dam had made him famous, to take charge of the engineering de partment of his company at head quarters. His salary was ample, he had wealth, he was only twenty-five; yet he had managed to make no ac quaintances In the big city. A free life In the West had made lilm different from the average city bred young man; he thought the me tropolis stiff and Its people devoid of Interest. Suddenly, as he leaned out, survey ing the huge buildings and speculating how many thousand lives ran on in them, a light sprang Into being In the building opposite, on the fifth floor, on a level with his. Behind a drawn hade he saw the silhouette of a man. He was stooping over a table and, as Cray watched, he saw the shadow of a woman behind him. Suddenly her hand plunged downward. The elon gated object In It looked like a poniard. It struck the man In the side of the neck and he rolled over. The woman stood looking at him for a moment; then, with a gesture of triumph, she flung the "poniard out of the window, ratsjng the shade a little.. Cray heard a metallic tinkle In the court below. Then followed darkness. He leaned out, astounded at what he had seen and hardly believing It real. How long he waited he did not know. Suddenly his bell rang. He went out Into the passage and eaw, standing outside the door, one of the most beautiful women whom he had ever met, She was twenty-three or (our. Her eyes gleamod with feverish Intensity, her hair was disheveled and her hands were red. "Save me! Hide me! Help me I" she pleaded. Cray did not hesitate an Instant. Ho pulled her through the doorway and led her to the bathroom. He filled the .Saw the Shadow of a Woman Behind Him. basin and washed her bands, drying thorn on a towel aiterward. Then ho took her Into his npare room. "You'ro quite safe here," he said In a low volco. "Nobody saw you come In. You can stay as long as you waut to." She crouched In a cornor, glaring at him Hkn a hunted beast. He hesi tated, then ho closed and bolted the window and withdrew, leaving the door open. For halt an hour he waited, fearing that he would hoar the bolt snap, that he would try to plunge down Into the court below. Out hardly a sound came from the room. When at last he returned she was lying on the floor aaleop I He placed her on the couch and she did net awakon. Her sloop was of profound exhaustion. All night Cray sat up, walling. Sometimes he stole In to look at her, but she never stirred. It was not till the sun was woll up that bo heard her moving. She came forward unsteadily and looked In at LI in as ho sat by the window. "Whoro am I?" slio cried. "Who are youT" Ciay roso and took her by the hand. "I am a filend," he answered. "You are safe Lore safe to come or to go." She burst Into hysterical sobbing. When at last he had quieted her the girl told Cray hor Btory. She hod mot i man in her home In Virginia, three months before. He had asked her to be his wife. Her parents mistrusted Mm; she followed Mm stealthily, to learn too late that all (bat had been said about him was truo. He was a gambler, a swindler, Hue remembered those three months with loathing. Her horror of him had irrown. Ho nvl decclvod her with a mock ceremony lied to her at last she had learned that he had a wife already. 8b o had written home, but her lot ters were reurncd unanswered. Bhe had cowhe'O to turn, she was Ignorant of any trade, and the man held her by his lying promises. He bad almost got bit divorce, ho snld; ha loved her; for her take ho would reform, If only ho would trust h'u. She bad waited tor blm the evening Loforo; then thcro was a dreadful Wank la bar mind, and she had re covered to Dud bersolf standing over the txxly. And she had Bed wildly for bettor. Cray pneted hor bands. "You stay rtth until too troubls blows ovsr," w . rwi 'Mm u ii he said. "I want a housekeeper. Too will be quite safe here. I shall let It be known that you answered an ad vertisement When all Is ready I will help you to a new life. You trust me?" She looked at him helplessly. "I am so Ignorant," she wept "I must trust you. I have nobody else." "You will not regret It," said Cray. And he knew the girl was safe there. Nobody came to call at his little apart ment The murder occupied two columns of his morning paper, but the only clue was that afforded by a negro Janitor, who had seen a woman ascending the steps a few minutes before the trag edy. And he stated that her hair was fair. The unknown woman's was ebony dark. Cray felt safe. The poniard was found, but gave no clue. And gradually the interest waned. Nobody knew the murdered man, who had very good reasons for disguising bis identity. As the days passed Helen Ware came to trust, Cray absolutely. She cooked for him, mended his clothes, resolutely refused to take the money that he pressed upon her. "I can never forget what I owe you," she would say. But sometimes there would be spells of weeping. "I did not mean to kill him," the girl would moan. "I do not remember anything, except sit ting at home waiting for him with bitterness of heart; then I beard him come In and went to him and I was standing over him with the dagger In my hands." "You don't recall the dagger?" "Yes. It was a curio of his; some friend from a savage country had given It to him. I must have snatched It from the wall and stabbed him." As the weeks turned Into months, Cray found himself torn between two Impulses. He wanted to let the girl go to some scene where she would be able to take up her life anew. And yet he knew that he loved her. Her helplessness, her charm, the bond between them had created an Intimacy that was Infinite ly sweet. He had been offered a new position In the West. One night he took his courage In his hands and asked her to be his wife and go with him where all memory of the past could he forgotten. He knew "y her looks that she loved him. But she would not. "It Is your pity for me, Ronald, no love," she said, sighing, "i love you, but I can never be your wife so long as this curse of blood lies on me." "You acted rightly," he cried hot ly "No Jury would have convicted you. Helen, deareBt, forget It and come with me." "I cannot," she answered sadly. "1 must leave you, and you must for get." But on the next day something hap pened which drove all thoughts or parting from their heads. The wire of the murdered man was arrested charged with the crime. It was known that Bhe had been in the city that day. Sho had threat ened him; the negro Janitor Idontltled her as the woman he had soon near the apartment house. And Ronald and Helen watched the unfolding of the grim trial with dismay. On the evening before the Inst dny Helen spoke to Ronald about what lay uppermost In her mind. "I cannot lot that woman be con victed," she said. "I hiust go down to the court and offer my confes sion," Ronald could not dissuade lier. He know that it was the only possible thing. And all day they sat in the dreary courtroom listening to the intolerably long summing up. The Jury hail at last retired. Ronald had persuaded Helen not to spoak unless the verdict was "guilty." It was hours before the Jury re turned. A murmur Bpread through the courtroom. The face of the foreman was deadly white. He trembled and looked away from tho prisoner's straining eyes. There could be no doubt what the verdict was. - Suddenly Holon sprang to her feet. Ronald rose and kept his arm about her. She faced the prisoner and stretched out her hand. But before a word could leave her lips the woman In the dock uttered a shriek and recoiled, clutching at the air. "Yes, I am guilty," she cried. "He lied to me, deceived me. I learned that he was supporting another wom an, who was passing as his wife. I dogged him to his home. I entered after him. I saw him In the hallway, and over his head a dagger bung. It seemed placed there for me. I struck him and then the other woman came out and she stands there!" And she collapsed unconscious upon the floor. Helen fell into Ronald's arms. "It Is true! It Is true!" she cried. "I remember everything!" The verdict of "manslaughter" was further eased by a mercifully light sentence, and, with the obstacle to their marriage removed, Ronald and Helen went West, whore they started upon their new life together. Plants Must Have Light. The blossoms of many plants open or close with the coming or the de parture of daylight, and all vegetable growths quickly lose their color, it not their lives, If deprived of light The sensitive plant Is a popular exam pie of "nerves. A tap on Its stem Is sufficient to cause It Instantly to wilt, the leaves falling limp as If with ered. Concerning the remarkable sensitiveness of. plants to light Profes sor Uanong says: "Evidently some such structures advance pretty far In the direction of the special sonse on gans of animals, such as eyes." Statistics as to Twins. Take 900 average babies. There will be ten pairs of twins among them. Tbls proportion holds true In the Unit ed States and England. In Italy or Bratil the proportion would be much less. For some reason that nobody knows. Infants In duplicate are not nearly so common In warm latitudes as In cold countries. Relatively to population, twins corns into the world In Russia three timei as often as la Spain. Making r T IS announced that the territorial government of Hawaii will restore to their former grandeur the an cient temples upon the Islands. Several Impressive examples of these twelfth century edifices are said to be in such a state of preservation that work upon them may be undertaken with certainty as to the correctness of the restoration. The Mooklul temple, one of the most striking, is described as having walls aggregating over 800 feet, with a breadth of eight feet and a height of 20 feet. The Hawailans are an Interesting people doomed, seemingly, to early ex tinction as a result of their contact with the invading and appropriating white man who brought them, along with the consolations of his religion, decimating disease, devastating vices to which the Kanakas took like ducks to water and advice upon the importance of abstemiousness and six days work a week which has been neglected by the natives, as It is usually in balmy climates. Primitive Conditions Changed. The Hawailans, when their Eden was discovered, wore as a race wholly unconventional, In the sense in which the term Is used against what agitators of a sort term the nar rowmlndedness of the conventions Hawaiiano which govern the relations of the sexes In nearly all civilized countries; conventions differing in detail, but based In common upon the require ment of chastity in women and fixing for failure to meet that requirement sundry social penalties. There was no word In the Hawaiian language for chastity. Children bore the names of their mothers because that method of naming them was the only practical one where the question of paternity was so frequently unanswerable. "The habits of the people were ex tremely licentious," writes a chron icler, Imbued with the spirit of the spiritual conquest of the pagans by the Anglo-Saxon with his sturdy vir tues of honoBty, thrift and industry and his moral austerity, "but this state of things was greatly altered by the missionaries." How greatly the state of things was altered Is Indicated by figures less hopeful than tho reports of the mis sionaries. A hnlt million light-hearted, pleasure-loving, sport-loving, singing, garland weaving, athletic, aquatic, shockingly Idle and care-free Kanakas soon began to disappear under the eurse of European disease like mist before a burning sun. "In spite of moral and materia) progress," says the chronicler, "In spite of bettor food, better clothing, better boubes ami many othor advan tages of civilization, the race is dying out." "In spllo of" should have been "because of," but how shall the Anglo- FAVORITE WORK OF AUTHOR "Treasure Isltnd," Stevenson Himself 8ld, "Seemed to Me Like My Right Eye." Stevenson's "Treasure Island" bas beeu chosen by I.ouls RhoRd for this year's contribution to his illustrated edition of children's classics. It bas been dramatized for tho Bandbox the ater, relates the New York Telegram. All this rocal's what Stovmison him self thought of hie famous story. "It seemed to me," he said, "ss original as sin; It scorned to me like my right ye." He relates how he read It aloud to his cwn (alitor, who "caught fire at ones with all the romance and child ishness of Mr orlgtnxl nature. "His stories, that crary night of his Ufa h rut himself to sleep with, dealt porpetually with ships, roadside luns. robbers, eld sailors and commercial travelers before the era of steam. It never Untuned ono of these romances; the lucky man did not re quire tot lmt in "Treasure Island" be recofnUcd something kindred to I r Pf- -if- ,,,, poi Saxon vindicate .his moral conquest of the people and his appropriation of the land unless he sticks to "in spite of"? Dressed In European Garb. As a result of civilization the half million has shrunk to 40,000 or so. The men who survive still are, in many cases, well proportioned, strong and athletic. But the women, once prolific, are, in two cases in three, sterile. Those who have children have few. The men who wore, in pagan days, nothing more than a loin cloth, wear European trousers and shirts. The women whose only clothing was a "tapa" petticoat, made from mulberry bark and reaching from the waist to the knee, wear, the enveloping "holo ka," counterpart of "mother hubbard," which Christian modesty dictated. Nearly everyone understands the Eu ropean moral code. But the race Is dying! In a little while the "Sand wich islanders" who were In many ways an unusual people, and who, be cause of the benign climate and their exceptional health, enjoyed a life of much singing, dancing and surf bath ing with few difficulties and little dole will have gone the way of the Carib Indians under Spanish rule. A people whose kings and great chieftains wore flaming robes made of at a Feast the feathers of tropical birds of re splendent plumage, somewhat outdo ing In effulgence the rajahs and sul tans of "Ormus and of Ind;" a people who bullded majestic temples to ob scure Insular gods; a people whose sons were warriors and whose daugh ters were the mothers of many war riors' sons until white men came to tell them that their way of life was wholly wrong, that their moral char acter was atrocious, and taught them a better way of life which proved to be racial death, make an Interesting study. It is interesting at least to per sons who are not of "missionary fami lies" resident in Hawaii and under an everlasting moral obligation to vindi cate the white man's occupancy of the sugar lands. The restoration of their ancient tem ples would be commendable. It would give Hawaii an added attraction for tourists. That Is a matter In which the Honolulu promotion committee cannot fall to bs Interested. Not Neutral Patriotic Belligerent How are you going to describe and comment on this affair? Press Writer I am going to tell all important facts and put the blame where It belongs. Patriotic Belligerent There; 1 knew all the time that you were bit terly prejudiced against us! Long- ville Leader, his Imagination; It was his kind of plcturesqueness. Through the Solid Roek. Ogden canyon, a deep cleft through the towering Wasatch mountains, overlooking the Great Salt lake, is one of nature's show places, cut In the Boltd rock by the river which runs through It, tho rushing water, from prehistoric times, carrying quantities of sand and gravel which simply filed out the present wonderful canyon. Og- don river was flowing west along Its present course before the lofty Wa satch mountains came Into existence. The raising of the mountains went on slowly tor ages, so slowly that tho riv er kept Its place by cutting down Its ever-rising bed. In no other way can clentiets rationally account for a riv er rising on on side of the rang and flowing directly across It What Bothered Jay. A oner-Well. Jay. how d'ye Ilk it up f the cltyr Jay "Aw, It was all right enough most ways, but what bothered me most was try In' to look at everybody I met on the street. nellie nks By JANE OSBORN. (Copyright, 1915. by the McClure Newspa per Syndicate.) It was closing time at Henri's hair dressing establishment and Blanihe and Sadie, the youngest and most piquant of those who wielded curling Irons and hairbrushes for Monsieur Henri, were getting ready to leave for tho day. Blanche was pulling on her gloves, while Sadie was putting the last dab of powder on her small nose. "Henri would be furious if be saw how we are leaving things," Blanche laughed, looking around at the blue and gray Interior of the halrdressing booth. "Maybe we ought to stop to straighten things up. Only I did want to get home by half-past six. I'm go ing out tonight." So'm I," confided Sadie, turning her back on the Irons and combs left out of place and following Blancho out of the booth to the hall. "Never mind, Miss Nellie will fix up for us." She doesn't care when she gets home," Sadie consoled herself and her companion. "If she were young It would be different When a girl's got a fellow It's different. Then she bas to quit on time." Miss Nellie whose matronly build at thirty made her seem to Blanche and Sadie somewhere in the middle age class, and, of course, much too old for beaux too old, In fact, to ob ject to staying in the shop to clear up after they had gone borne hap pened to overhear this last remark. Miss Nellie was a blonde, and ex tremely capable. She had been in Henri's employ for over ten years, ever since she had come to him, timid, Inexperienced and slender, as an underpaid apprentice, to learn the trade. Exacting customers never tcr got her. To the fastidious among Henri's clientele she was famed for the best wave in town." If you were dressing for an informal din ner at home or a reception where you would not remove your hat, you were content to have Blanche or Sadie or one of the others attend you. If you were going to be married, about to make your debut, were dressing for the ambassador's ball, or expected to make a conquest, you Insisted on hav ing Miss Nellie. And usually you had to telephone ahead of time to get her, so full was her date book. In return for her superior service Miss Nellie received a few more dollars a week than Sadie or Blanche and what counted to Miss Nellie for con siderably more she was known by Monsieur Henri not as simple Nellie, but as Miss Nellie, and customers, realizing her importance, never left out the respectful prefix. When a girl's got a fellow It's dif ferent," she repeated rather regret fully, as she went into the booth to restore order out of chaos, to replace irons and brushes and pomades and tonics. About that time Monsieur Henri was balancing his books in the front of fice. He was a Van Dyke-bearded, Blender Frenchman of about thirty five, with a dignity ;.nd grave gra- ciousness in his manner which cus tomers also remembered. Except for the cloying odor of pomades and re storers, be might have passed as a secretary at the French -embassy. The telephone rang and monsieur dropped his pen, with a weary shrug of the shoulder. "Good evening, madame." In spite of a dozen years in America be had never lost the crispness of his original accent "Yes, madame." He listened for a few moments. "Will no one do but Miss Nellie? . . . Yes, madame . She is promised for bait-past six In your hotel, madame . . , Yes, madame, 1 will see that she comes to you at a little after seven Thank you, madame." It was always that way. ' Custom ers would have Miss Nellie or no one. Henri would have gone himself in order to spare her. He knew that In spite of her cheerfu! smile and, In spite of the goodly proportion of the arms and bands that wielded the irons she must sometimes Je very tired. She Is wonderful," Henri mur mured to himself, and went back his ledger. In a tow minutes Miss Nellie came Into the office, the setting to rights In the booth having been accom plished. Henri began with an apologetic smile: "Thero Is yet another date for tonight. Mrs. Vandevere's apart ment In the same hotel as soon as you can finish with the first customer. I am sorry that it should always be you, Mees Nellie. But customers will have no one else." Usually Miss Nellie would have re plied with a smile. She would have told Henri that she wsb glad to go that customers always tipped better after lights were on and that It was better to work than U go home to bed. But this night she merely passed Henri with a weary smile. Henri had come to regard Miss Nel lie's smile as a fixture. It was like the church bells that rang at six o'clock or the weekly receipt of the French paper from home something pleasant that he took lor granted And be didn't realize till It was with drawn bow much It meant to blm. Henri did not sleep at all well that night, and started to work the next day weary from the start He watched Mtss Nellie pass through the outer of fice to the booths beyond. "She is wonderful, that woman Such a wave!" And he walrlied her retreating figure he rcahteu bet ter than be b1 ever real lied before that 'there was something comely in Hiss Nellie's thirty year-old plump ness. 1 bad thought some time," he mused to himself. "But a man bas no time tor such things nowadays. It is work, work, work." That night when Miss Nellie passed through the office she paused briefly a' Henri's desk and lb the most mat terof-fact way Imaginable told Henri that she had bad a chance to go to lbs halrdresving establishment ol Monsieur Alfonso across the way at an advance of a few dollars a ek in salary. She Intended to accept the offer. Henri was staggered. He merely asked her to return in the morning to see what he could do. That night he made a careful study of the books, and in the morning when Nellie came he told ber that he would equal his rival's offer in order to keep ber in bis employ. But the next evening at closing time Miss Nel lie again came to hlu and told blm that the rival had added a dollar to bis offer. It was purely a business consideration, of course. She would go wherever she could make the most money. Henri spent mother evening studying his books, and tbe next morn ing he matched bis rival Then Miss Nellie came again to Henri. "He has done better still." she said. "He bas offered me commis sions for all the trade I bring." Henri was pale. "But do you not see, Miss Nellie," he said, "that all you have I have given you? The cus tomers have you not got them in my employ? That wave of yours did I not teach it to you?" Yes," Nellie admitted. "But they are my customers. They come because am here. They will follow me If I go to Alfonse. I have given you much In return. Well, monsieur, I have given you all my life since I was twenty. 1 have given up having a good time like other girls. I never had young men like Blanche and Sadie. 1 could have had them If I had wanted to . . . But somehow I Just put all there was In me Into the business. . And It is all business. Now I shall do as well for myself as I can." Miss Nellie did not look at Henri as she spoke. He was speech less. As she passed out of the office that night the little Frenchman's eyes fol lowed her with an entreating, help less look. She Is very wonderful," he said to himself. "I do not blame her. Still I must have her back. Without her I cannot carry on the business I cannot be happy." Then Henri spent another night over his books plan ning, meditating, pondering. The next morning Henri arrived at Miss Nellie's small apartment before she was out for the day. She was pulling on her gloves in the front hall and he asked her permission to start out with ber. They sat on a park bench nea- Henri's shop and talked so low that no one passing would have beard them. Miss Nellie, I have but one way of hoping," he began. "I thought It all out last night. What Is my business without you? Nothing. I know now this with a shrug of the shoulder: that life Is nothing without your smile, too. But we will talk business first For those first years that you were with me 1 perhaps had plans that I did not tell you. But then It was all business. We worked hard, and little by little there were profits. You know my ambition, to go back to that beautiful south of France where I was born, where one lives among the grapevines and the blue skies. That Is why I saved no. "But I must keep you. I need you, Miss Nellie. Even if I did not have you in my shop, I 'shall not let Al- phonse have you." Henri shuddered and closed his eyes for a second, 'That would be impossible. So I shall ask what my rival did not ask you. I will ask you to marry me, to be Madame Henri. That is the busi ness part of It. After that I will tell you, Miss Nellie, how much trouble I have been feeling that you no longer cared for me." Nellie had interspersed Henri's speech with the little remarks and gestures that made him know that Bhe accepted his proposition, and they both sat silently, happily, looking down at the gravel path In front of the park pench. 'Henri, I didn't want to leave you," Nellie explained, "but I heard two of the girls saying one night that I didn't have anything to do but vork, It sort of hurt my feelings, Henri. I'd always thought too much of you to want to go around with anyone else. So I got to thinking whether It was fair for them to talk the way they did. I wanted them to know 1 wasn't such a tool. I had to show them. So well, maybe I hoped you'd ask me to marry you, Honrl. Maybe that Is why I went over to Alphonse and got him to make me an offer. A man needs - a Jolt sometimes, you know. Domestic Strategy. 'Although a small woman, Mrs, Twobble finds no difficulty In making Mr. Twobble toe the mark." "That's because she's clever." "How so?" "She keeps Twobble guessing as to the exact location of the mark, and half the time he toes It unconsciously." Light Charge. "Yes, mum," said tbe ragged visitor, "I'm travelin' fur me healt'." 'You don't look sickly," replied the housewife. "I'm just a shell, mum. Just Bhell." "Ahem! Well, I'm afraid 1 can't load you this morning. Here's a bis cuit" Real Art "Miss Sereleaf wore a rapt expres sion all through tbe play." "I don't see why she was so Inter ested." "My friend, any woman who Is get ting on In years is naturally fascinated by the sight of an actress of fifty- seven summers successfully portray- lug a girl of nlueteen." One Man's Wisdom. Singleton Did you ever get stuck on a counterfeit bill? Wederly No. When I get hold of one I U'ove it In my pocket and my wife appropriates It Something In That "Why do you not enter your baby In the better babies con test r" "We prefer to keep blm out and to nlnays bolicve that be would bar taken first prise. Highbrow Tests. "My husband Is so llteraryl" si- i-laimed Mrs Nurtcn Really?" Yo always calling op bit "iniitlona VEN THE GRAVY WAS TOUGH Man Who Bought Piece of Steak s Shown by Butcher Where He Has Nothing to Kick About. William Alden Smith of Michigan, replied In the course of a dispute: Everything goes by comparison. The man, for instance, who thinks his own condition almost unendurable has only to look about him to find some other man who Is far worse. Take the case of one customer and his butcher. 'Say," said the customer, "that last piece of steak I bought of you must have come from a steer old enough to vote." '"Was It tough?" " 'Was It tough!' the man reiterated. Well, 1 should say It was. I could scarcely cut It' 'Oh, Is that all? Well, you should have beard Riley kicking a day or two ago. He bought a piece over to the new market, and he said It was so tough he couldn't get his fork Into the gravy.' " A Friendly Tip. "You will be rich and famouB some day," said the fortune teller. "That's queer," replied the client I'm only a shopgirl. How can I ever become rich and famous?" "The future Is not clear on that point," answered the seeress, "but- bum the movies offer great opportu nities nowadays to young women who have nothing to recommend them but good looks." By Contrast It's a good idea to read a little poetry every day to offset the bard realities of life." No doubt. What are you reading now?" "Dante's 'Inferno.'" "Hum! I shouldn't call that a cheer ful work." Maybe not, but life looks pretty good to me after reading Dante's de scription of a possible hereafter." Modest Disclaimer. The minute 1 walked in here 1 knew you were a man of culture," Bald the visitor. "Why so?" asked the pleased mil lionaire. Look at all the books about you!" Yes. They are pretty, but yoq mustn't give me too much credit." "No?" "The color scheme is my wife's." Distributing the Cake. The bride couldn't cut the wedding cake with her husband's saber, as Is customary in army circles. Cake was too hard." What did they do?" They managed to carry out (he mil Itary idea. Blew it up with a shell." IT STILL HAPPENS. "Not so very many years ago it was I common thing tor men to be arrested for debt" "Even now they're often pinched for money." Gastronomic Genius. Grlnne He Is the most eccentric g nlus I ever met Barret Artist? Grlnne No; he writes" cooklna, PS.-! recipes for tbe woman's Youngstown Telegram. Cause and Effect Helny Do you think a person's diet has anything to do with bis feelings? Parker Sometimes. I at deviled crabs last night and today I fell like a resident of Hades. He Was All In. Oayboy Why, didn't you make a speech at the club dinner last night wben they called on you? Highball I couldn't, old man. I was to full for utterance 1 For Rough Weather. "I think I've got a winner in ladles' footgear." "What Is Itr "I'm working on a scheme to put chiffon around the tops of overshoes." A Friend In Need. "Tos." growled the mall carrier, "I am a man of letters." "Just th chap rm looking tor," said ths sump clerk. "Lend m t T till next week, will your