The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930, January 07, 1916, Image 3

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CHAPTER XIV Continued.
Flodie laid an affectionate band on
poor Alfred' shoulder. "It simply
means that Alfred's true blue," she re
plied soberly. "Ha has the loyalty of
a dog. It was awful of me to do it,
though. I don't know what you'll
think of me, Hall. But you haven't
told him, yet, Alfred. Go on! And do
hurry, please 1"
"Well, she asked me to go down to
the city hall with her, for to get a mar
riage license. This afternoon, It was,
and you know what I thought. Well,
we went up to the desk and we got a
application a printed paper It was
tellin' all about what we was and how
old, like, and we sat down to a table
and Miss Fisher, here, she took a pen
and ink."
.. "Hurry, Alfred, hurry!" cried Flodie
"Well she went to work and wrote
yesses' and 'noes' on the lines. And
then she signed her name, Miss Fisher
did, and she handed me the pen." Sud
denly Alfred turned his head, and
busied himself for a moment with his
handkerchief. He returned to his nar
rative almost choking. "I was just
a-goin' to sign Alfred J. Smallish;
that's my name and what I always sign
it, when she Bays to me, Miss Fisher
did, 'You write down this here name
what I tell you: Hall Cutler Boni
stelle' she says. 'You asked me to ask
you to do something hard for me, for
to prove your love for me!' she says,
and indeed I did, Mr. BoniBtelle and
so I signed the paper, and we had It
swore to."
"WelJ, give me the paper, Alfred!
Do hurry!" Flodie cried anxiously.
Alfred drew from his pocket the
document, and handed it over to Hall.
. Flodie bent over it. "You see, Al
fred had to pretend he was you, that's
all. He's the Bame color, you know"
Hall looked up at Alfred, and Bmlled.
'!Well, I mean he's white," Flodie
explained anxiously.
"Yes, he certainly is rather white,"
Hall remarked and turned again to
look at the document
"Of course we did have to lie a little,
that Is, Alfred did about your father
and mother, you know. I didn't know
what their names were, so we had to
call them John and Mary you don't
mind, do you?"
"Not at all."
"And you haven't any former wives,
have you, living or dead?"
"Not one!" Hall was emphatio.
"Then it's a perfectly good license,
and it fits you and there's your name
and everything, and mine, too. You
don't mind, do you, Hall, dear?" Flodie
began to blush violently, and was very
confused. "You see, I kind of thought
you were going to ask me, I sort of felt
it coming, and I knew you'd be too,
stupid to get one yourself!"
. "Flodie Fisher Bonistelle!" he ex
claimed, and threw up his hands, "yov
certainly are a business woman! )
don't see what chance I'll have aftei
we're married! But I'm perfectly wil
ling to let you manage me, Flo. I
certainly have botched things when
ever I've tried to run them myself."
He turned to Alfred, who stood,
looking at his shoes. "And you com
mitted perjury, Alfred, Just for my
Alfred drew himself up proudly.
"Not at all, Mr. Bonistelle. It was for
Miss Fisher I done it!"
"Then you did it for me. By jove,
Alfred, let me Bhake your hand. A
man can't be thanked for a service like
that, and he can't be rewarded; but if
there's anything I can do for you, you
name it!"
"There's only the one thing I want
now, Mr. Bonistelle. Would you leave
me be your best man at the weddln'?
There was once when I hoped I could
be bridegroom myself, Mr. Bonistelle,
but I see now that was foolish, But It
would be a satisfaction to see the last
of Miss Fisher, if you don't mind."
Hall, laughing, slapped him on the
back. "Sure, Alfred! You can be the
chief mourner, Alfred that is, if this
license is all right. Let's call in Mr.
Doremus; he'll tell us." He started
for the door, but Flodie had already
beckoned to the attorney, who now
came In with her.
"Well, we're going to have a cere
mony, after all!" said Hall. "I'm going
to take you at your word and let you
marry me."
Flodie interrupted his reply. "What
is the shortest possible way you can
do it, and have H legal, Mr. Doremus?"
she asked, nudging him anxiously.
"Oh, I'll fix that." said the lawyer.
"It won't take two minutes."
"What's goln' on?" 'came a harsh
voice at the door. Jonas Hassingbury
was looking In.
"Come in, Jonas, come in and be
'among those present' It's my merry
marriage morn!" cried Hall gayly.
Flodie whispered to Alfred. "Run,
Alfred, bring everybody in, quick!"
Alfred disappeared into the office
and could be heard announcing the lo
cation. Jonas, however, had begun to bristle.
He strode up to his cousin belligerent
ly. "Why, it ain't no uso to git mar
ried now, Hall, you know that 1 Don't
be foolish!"
"Hurry, Mr. Doremus, hurry!" Flo
die was growing frantic. She pointed
to the clock. It indicated twenty
eight minutes past twelve.
Hall, however, was In no haste. "Oh,
I know, Jonas; but you see Flodie and
I have decided to lose no more time.
You can give her away, if you want
to." He sat down, laughing at his cou
sin's consternation.
"But it's past twelve!" Jonas insist
ed, pointing to the clock.
"Oh, I know that! That proves It's
a love match, doesn't it?"
"Come here, Hall, and stand up by
me! Anyone would think you didn't
want to get married 1" Flodie called
By this time the company had be
gun to enter, and soon flooded the
studio, laughing, wondering, Joking
with Hall.
"Go ahead!" cried Flodie. "We're
ready, Mr. Doremus, quick!" She
stamped her foot angrily.
"Oh, wait a minute," Hall inter
posed, "we want this thing arranged
a little. It won't do to rush it." He
turned to his guests. "Ladles and
gentlemen," he began, when Jonas
broke In again.
"See here, I object to this!" He
walked up to Mr. Doremus angrily.
Mr. Doremus, however, had already
begun to thunder out, "Hall Bonistelle,
do you take this woman, Flodie Fish
er, to be your wedded wife?"
"Just wait a minute!" cried Jonas,
looking at his watch.
"We're off!" came In a chorus from
the excited guests.
"I do!" replied Hall. "See here,
Jonas, you mustn't interrupt the game,
you know. Sit down and be quiet!"
"But I got something to say about
"Flodie Fisher do you take be
quiet, Mr. Hassingbury, I'm running
this "
"It's ' a scheme! It's a fraud!
Jonas appealed wildly to the company.
" this man to be your lawful wed
ded husband?"
"Oh, you old scamp, you, you've sold
me out!" Jonas shook his fist at the
i ut I told you what time o set It!"
Flodlo fairly yelled now. "And I told
you half an hour ahead on purpose!"
Mr. Doremus held up his hand. "SI-
lenn!" he thundered. Mr. Hassing
bury," he declared solemnly, "theie
are witnesses enough present to prove
that Mr. Bonistelle was married be
fore midnight. As you are aware, I
seldom take sides inny controversy,
but in this case, my little friend here,
Flodie Bonistelle completely won
me over. There's no possible doubt
that Mr. Bonistelle will Inherit his
uncle's fortune."
Hall burst out of his trance with a
whoop. "Hurrah!" he screamed, "I've
won four millions of dollars!"
Flodie stretched up on tiptoe and
pulled down his dramatically extended
hand. "No, sir," she announced, "I won
It myself!"
Working of the Human Body Make
Any Invention of Man Seem Like
The most complicated manufactur
ing plant that ever existed is the hu
man body as controlled under the sci
entific management of the brain and
nervous system. No factory ever boast
ed a more efficient producer plant lor
converting fuel into energy. No plait
ever had so" well-designed a pumping
system, nor one so perfect for the
disposal of waste and sewage. Talk
of up-to-date heating and ventilating.
or lnterdenartment telephone! me
best that our modern science can put
into our shops is crude indeed as com-
pared with that furnished by the
Great Designer. Suppose that you
went to a pump manufacturer with the
following specification:
Wanted, a pump with capacity oi
one-quarter gallon a minute, to handle
warm salty fluid, to work for sevsnty
years night and day without a snut-
down, at the rate of seventy strones
per minute. Must be guaranteed to
operate for the full period of time
without repairs or adjustments, to re
quire no attention; must have auto
matic control and contain its own mo
tive power, and must have a duty per
million foot-pounds superior to the
best triple-expansion high-duty unit
ever made.
Do you think the manufacturer
would bid for the Job? If he were a
timid man he would probably agree
with you and tell you to come around
next week, meanwhile edging you
toward the door before your insanity
took a violent form. Or if he were
not afraid of lunatics he would say:
"You poor bug, such a pump as you
speak of never existed nor ever will
except in the brain of a perpetual-motion
freak such as I see before mel"
Which shows how much he knows
about It, for both you and he carry
Just such a pump around with you.
and each of you thinks too much oi
your possession to sell It tor any
money. John H. Van Deventer, In the
Engineering Magazine.
Aunt Emily Saw Things in a Dif
ferent Light.
Ready to Kill Driver Who Had Almost
Run Her Down, But Had No
Mercy When She Was In
the Auto.
In a street in Richmond stood Aunt
Emily, with her hat askew upon her
woolly old white head, and a large and
vicious-looking cobblestone In one
hand. She had every appearance of a
staid colored mammy of tta. antebel
lum strain, who had determined to
break somebody's Jaw and was about
to begin the assault Amid wagons.
taxicabs, traffic of all sorts dashing
madly at auntie from all sides, she
held her ground valiantly, evidently
determined not to lire that rock until
she saw the whites of her enemies'
While thus engaged, and while the
fire shot from her outraged eyes, a gen
tleman drew up to the curb in a finely-
equipped roadster and called out to
"What in the name of common sense
are you doing there, auntie?"
To which the belligerent one re
plied: "Lawsie, Mistah John, one o' these
yer autovillains come 'long Jes' now
and lak to knock me down. An' Ah
jes' gwlne stay hyeh tell he come back,
and Ah spects to brek he haid wit dls
yer rock."
"Look here," Bald the man, "Miss
Lou is waiting for you to come home
& " ;CIX
1 i tin y
nrpl if ;yi
j Ml li I - ' t
$ eHp- Us fern
&-WsJL ill'
Century Has Wrought Change
in Feelings.
Alfred Drew From His Pocket the
bride and was pulled furiously back by
I do! Flodie screamed. "I never,
Mr. Hassingbury! I only promised to
prevent his marrying the others! I
never said "
"Put on the ring! Put on the ring!"
the company screamed laughingly to
Hall. He obeyed.
"Then I pronounce you man and
wife!" r
"I never said I wouldn't get him my
self!" Flodle's words were smothered
in Hall's kiss.
Immediately she was surrounded by
the gentlemen of the company, who
passed her from Hp to Up, protesting
laughing, struggling to speak.
Mr. Doremus pressed Hall's hand.
"I congratulate you, Mr. BoniBtelle I"
he cried enthusiastically.
"Thank you, sir!" Hall answered.
"I've got a fortune in Flodie."
"I think you have! Two!" was Mr.
Doremus' reply. "Mr. Hassingbury,
would you mind telling me what time
it is?"
Jonas turned white, and started hur
riedly to leave without a word. Flo
die, alert, caught him as he turned,
and snatched out his watch as deftly
as a pickpocket. She held it up to the
company. "We've won! Eleven flfty
nine!" Bhe shouted.
The company took it up, and shout
ed, too. Watches were brought 'out
from a dozen pockets, compared and
the time corroborated.
"It's a lie!" Jonas protested, "why,
look at the clockt It's half past
twelve! He's too late I tell you! The
money's mine!"
"Why, that's rlghtl" said Hall,
amazed by the sudden confusion. "1
set that clock myself!"
Small Dog Is Petted as a Hero In the
Paris Hospitals,' as Reward
for Faithfulness.
In one of the Paris hospitals lives
a dog, a brown-and-whlte setter,
named Fend l'AIr (cleave the air),
who Is a real hero of the war. His
master, a sergeant of zouaves, is a pa
tient in the hospital, and he owes his
frail hold on life to the devotion and
Intelligence of Fend l'AIr. When the
regiment left Algeria for France the
dog was left behind, but the faithful
little creature leaped Into the water
and swam along behind the ship until
the captain, taking pity on him, had
him taken on board. From that time
be has never left his master.
During the fighting at Rochincourt,
near Arras, an exploding bomb buried
the sergeant and seven other men
with earth. They were badly injured,
and so deeply covered that no man
had the strength to fight his way out.
But, luckily, Fend l'AIr escaped the
bomb. Pie at once began to scratch,
and he scratched and scratched until
be had reached his master and
dragged him out to safety. The seven
other men died.
The wounded sergeant and his dog
were sent from one relief station to
another until they found permanent
care in this Paris hospital. Good nurs
ing has saved the man, but too much
attention almost killed the dog; for
the nurses and orderlies fed htm so
lavishly that promiscuous feeding had
to be forbidden.
Now Fend l'AIr lives In the hospital
kitchen, where he has assumed' the
duty of guard, and growls savagely
at anyone who enters the kitchen
unless they belong there. Every day
a nurse takes him to the wards to
visit his master, and Fend l'AIr puts
his nose on the sergeant's shoulder
and stands contented as long as he It
permitted to remain. The great af
fection that exists between the ser
geant and his dog is very charming.
Youth's Companion,
A Large and Vicious-Looking Cobble'
stone in One Hand.
and get luncheon ready. Step Into
this car and I'll drive you home."
Auntie pondered for a moment be
fore replying:
Ah nevah road in one dose contrap
"I'll take care of you. Hurry up
So auntie gathered her voluminous
Bkirts, and with many evident mlBgiv
ings took her seat in a racing road
car that could touch ninety miles an
hour and never feel the strain. She
clung to the seat tightly as the car
started off, and hung on for dear life
as it swung a corner. She grabbed
"Mistah John" by the arm in her fright
and begged him to let her out as they
threaded neatly through the crowded
Richmond thoroughfares.
She was In utter and abject misery
from fear and the tears rolled down
her cheeks.
But Mistah John took to the straight
road soon and set forth tor the sub
urbs. The way was clear and he let
out a few links in the engine and the
engine hummed like a bee and sr ed
down the path like a bird. Auntie
began to feel like she was flying, and
her fear gave way to a sensation of
grand delight, md by the time she
had gone ten miles she was singing
softly to herself and settled back on
the seat like an oldtime racer.
"Ratch-atch-atch atch" went the
raucous horn (Notice they don't say
"honk, honk" any more).
"What you do dat fo' Mistah John?"
asked auntie.
"I wanted to warn the colored boy
to get out of the way."
And then auntie replied.
"Shucks, Mistah John, Jes' yo' run
ovah dat fool'nlggah. What right he
got In de way nohow?"
Which goes to show, as Wlnfleld Lar
ner says, that practically everything
depends on the point of view.
Street Scene in Anpori? La VlfcUA
HEN the president of An
dorra sent a message to
President Wilson, many an
American was compelled to
hunt up on the map the location of
the tiny republic in the Pyrenees.
Who has ever been in Andorra?"
asked the Chicago Evening Post, and
in reply Marlon H. Drake wrote:
In the summer of 1913 I tried to
reach this quaint, ancient and hidden
republic from the Spanish side, but
could gain no assurance from any tour
ist office In Madrid that It was acces
sible, bo I went the long way around,
via Barcelona, Perplgnan, Carcas
sonne, Toulouse, Folx and Ax-les-Thermes,
in France. Here I was
warned that the trip was dangerous,
that there were smugglers and brig
ands and terrible mountain storms,
and that a woman who took this trip
might not return alive. This only
whetted my traveler's spirit, and I
bought a pair of hemp-soled shoes,
packed a knapsack, strapped a camera
over my shoulder and went by post
chaise to L'Hospltalet, where I en
gaged as guide an Andorran boy,
handsome, respectful and neatly
dressed In brown corduroy, who was
working at the dirty little Inn, hired
embroidered sheets and pillow slips.
The people were kindly, interested in
the news of the outside world, cour
teous, some quiet and Bome loquacious.
"1 was now in the valley of the Va-
lira river, which flows south Into
Spain and over the rocky road from
Canlllo and Encamp I passed churches
built of the brownish gray stones of
the country, with Catalan bell towers
At Andorra la Viella, the capital, they
were celebrating their day of liberty,
and their flags of yellow, blue and
red the blended colors of Spain the
spiritual and France the temporal
mother were flying In summer sun
shine, I walked into Las Escaldas late
in the afternoon, passing bubbling buI
phur springs, and was greeted hospi
tably by Doctor Pla, the cultured pro
prietor of a first-class hostelry. My
little guide left me to return to the
dirty, muddy town of L'Hospltalet.
bade him farewell In French, and ho
replied in Catalan, the Andorran
tongue. At Las Escaldas hotel I found
many fat Spanish priests, gay and
Jolly, who had come for the sulphur
baths, as well as numerous Andalit-
elans, up In the cool Pyrenees for their
Andorra has six counties, about
French Soldiers View Mementoes of
the Downfall of Napoleon, Exhib
ited In British Capital, With
out Expression of Emotion.
Every American visitor to London,
probably, makes a call at tbe three
storied building opposite the Horse
Guard, the former banqueting ball of
the palace of Whitehall, from a win
dow on the second floor of which
King Charles I stepped onto the exe
cution platform and, after addressing
the gathered throng, bravely met his
tragic fate, remarks the London
The building Is now called the Royal
United Service Museum, and in the
main hall, contrasting strangely with
the richly figured ceilings by Peter
Paul Rubens, are thousands of relics
recalling the almost numberless wars
in which the manhood of this country
has engaged.
Yesterday the writer followed
through the turnstile of the museum
two French Infantry soldiers, on leave
from tbe front, fresh from months of
fighting, side by side with Tommy
Atkins, against a common foe. In tbe
great hall, In enormous show cases,
are models setting out the exact posi
tions at the battles of Trafalgar and
Waterloo, those historic combats on
land and on sea which did so much to
mar the fortunes of Napoleon and to
shatter the predominant position ot
In one case, little patches of make-
believe smoke trace the two lines, the
allies and the French, while clusters
of tiny red brick houses mark the po
sitions of villages of Belgium familiar
even to every follower ot the present
world struggle.
In the second case the fleet of Nel- .
son Is shown at the critical moment
when, led by the Victory and ' the
Fighting Temeralre, It pierced the
lines of the French and Spanish fleets.
Indeed, it seemed to the writer as he
hung over the showcases and studied
the positions, that Nelson used the
phalanx" as effectively as did Von
Mackensen In Gallcta, and as French
and Joffre are trying to do In France
and Belgium now. ,
But, beside these two cases, there
are more Immediate links with the
French and English past Nearby is
the skeleton ot Napoleon's favorite
charger. In another case is the curved
sword worn by Wellington at most of
his famous engagements. Many are
the relics of the peninsula campaign.
Here Is the uniform, cape and hat
worn by Wellington during the whole
peninsula campaign, and "deposited"
In tbe museum by his valet. On every
side are guns taken from the French,
while overhead are battle flags bear
ing the scars of honorable warfare.
And the two French soldiers viewed
It all without enmity or unpleasant
A Strenuous Final.
"When Professor Scrapeso plays
the violin bis very soul seems on Are,"
exclaimed Mrs. Prebson after the con
cert "Umpa!" replied Mr. Prebsoa,
whose favorite amusement is baseball.
"I don't know about his soul, but when
be was finishing up that last piece I
expected at any moment to see his
fiddle strings smoking."
Would Be a Boon.
Any guy who would Invent some
thing effective to take the cut out of
tbe cutworm would be sur of ever
lasting fame. Boston Globe.
tnAAArmAi.nAn.nnnnnrrt-iWWi--r --i-i-i-,- iii J - -- -- -
Xtnophon's Conception of the Dignity
and Value of Agriculture Is Be
yond Criticism.
Xenophon's work on agriculture
tacks the divine afflatus of the Georgtcs
and the patient, comprehensive re
search of Varro's "De Re Rustics ;"
Its more modest scop la shown by
the name he gave It: "Oeconomlcs,"
r, as Etlenne de La Beetle rendered viewed the agriculturist was not with-
it. "La Mesnagerte" a capital word, , eat elevation, though It did sot strike
that has gone down In life!
Xenophon traced the rule of the
farm on rather general lines; h
started from the principle that, la the
main, agriculture Is made up of com
mon sense and diligence. '
To critics who blame him as un
scientific let It be said that In south
ern farming, at least, these two quali
ties will carry the cultivator further
than the most beautiful steam plow.
Tbe standpoint from which he
him, as It struck Virgil, that tbe hus
bandman was a sort of high priest
But neither did he regard him as the
mere servant of private and selfish
Tbe landed proprietor was the pillar
of society and agriculture tb life
blood of- the state; the fields grew
more than corn they grew men. This
was his point ot view. New York Tel
It's easier for a young man to raise
a row than a mustache.
Apples and Onions.
An Illinois exchange congratulates
the people of its county for raising
large crops 'of apples and onions, a
combination that is perfectly glorious,
and which furnishes a guarantee of
the future health and Joy of the peo
ple of the county. Apples and onions
are both healthy in their own right,
and when they go together they are
the Invincible foes ot ill health. Ev
erybody praises the apple, and It Is
universally regarded as the promoter
of a sound mind In a sound body.
And so Is the onion, but some people
affect to underrate it, because of Its
very positive virtue. It should not be.
The onion is a brain sparkler, a stom
ach rejuvenator, a nerve sharpener,
and likewise a guide o( old Somnos
to the happy land ot dreams. Who
ever affects to despise the onion Is a
mollycoddle, male or female, as the
case may be. Onion is the only thing
In the wide, wide world that can make
a hash divine. Ohio State Journal.
Remarkable Dental Work.
A dental achievement ot a most re
markable nature wap recently de
scribed at a lecture in London. It
was stated that during the battle of
Neuve Chapelle a young officer, a
lieutenant In a Highland regiment, had
his face half-turned upward, when a
piece of shell struck the left side of
bis face and blew away most of tbe
lower jaw. Incredible though It may
seem, the doctor put a new Boor to
tbe man's mouth, actually Induced two
Inches ot bone to grow on the lower
Jaw, fixed complete artificial teeth,
and healed the remains of the Hps,
with tbe result that now the man Is
as normal as ever, and the only re
sult of his mishap Is a slight scar on
the mouth.
Malicious Insinuation.
"Miss Primmer tells me that her
balr turned gray In a single night"
"That must bare been tbe night she
forgot to put the bleach on."
Mil MW -
rSh; 8-' i - ,
Novel Armored Suit That It Is
Thought Would Save Llfj In
Event of Accident.
A pneumatic armor has been pat
ented for the purpose of saving the
lives of motor-cycle riders, and par
ticularly racers, who, with this nro-
ptitvj lilt lit ttl tttt Llli 11 it tttiM t iillliitiltlltijlTtltlittiitlltittlttilfliLjiiittilltfliXiitlt: llttJitf ti i f il 1J
mountain horse, and with sup
pressed excitement started out over
the rocky pathway back of tbe rude
little church of this far-south town
of France.
I walked and rode over loose
stones, on narrow and fearsome
ledges, at times above and often be
low cascades, over hard, sharp, cut
ting, slippery slate, past quaint stone
shrines with Iron crosses, tiny ter
raced fields of vegetables and tobac
co, perpendicular bayflelds amid the
wonderful stillness of the lofty Pyre
nees and the noisy, rushing torrents.
I waded through trickling, cool brooks,
where rivers were born, and stopped
tbe first night at Soldeu, where I
found good food, white tablecloth and
napkins and slept In a room with a
rough stone floor, on a good bed, with
English Head or Club Advocates Ex
pansion In the Railing of These
Useful Animals.
Goatkeeplng by the small holder
has Increased considerably since the
war, and suburban residents, too,
have found the ownership of a goat
or two less troublesome and more
profltahlo than pigeons, rabbits, or
oven poultry, remarks tbe London
Times. In view, however, of Rev. A
C. Atkins, founder of the new Na
tional Utility Goat club, the keeping
of gnats for utility purposes should
be more largely extended, and with
this aim h! Is Inking a census of all
tho goals In the country. "There are
thousands of gonts kept for utility
purposos In the rnuntry." he says,
"an'l everybody who hns had one
knows their valito. They are little
trouble: all you have to do Is to keep
thorn dean and provide them with a
shelter, no ther do not like wet. For
a trifling expennn and s little atten
tion you can 'grow' your own rullk,
which Is delicious fnr all culinary
dozen towns and some five thousand
Tbe capital, Andorra la Viella, has
a population of BOO and contains tho
Casa de la Vail, or hoase ot represen
tatives. This Is a large sixteenth-century
building at the extremity of the
town, overlooking the valley toward
Spain. ' It is parliament house, town
ball, school, palace of Justice and ho
tel for the councilors all In one. It
Is also used as a temporary prison In
the rare cases when a prison Is neces
sary. Crime In Andorra Is practically
unknown. The only Andorrans suf
fering Imprisonment are the smug
glors ot tobacco caught by the French
or Spanish customs officers, ahd these
are not looked upon as malefactors by
thoir follow citizens. Smuggling Is
regarded as a legitimate trade.
purposes and makes excellent cheese."
Mr. Atkins, In recommending goat-
keeping on economic grounds, speaks
from experience. At his home at Uck
floid, Sussex, be keeps two goats,
which save him $100 a year! Tbe In
dustrious pair provide plenty of milk
for a household of six.
Mulled Cider.
This Is an excellent bedtime drink
when one feels that be has taken cold
or Just after coming In from a wetting
In the storm. Pound half an ounce
6f stick cinnamon and ten or twelve
cloves until bruised. Put Into a sauce
pan with bait a grated, nutmeg, cover
with a half pint of boiling water and
Infuse on the back of the stove for 16
minute. Straln, add sugar to taste
and stir Into a pint ot hot cider.
"I'm sorry you don't admire Mr.
Uumplns," said the tactful woman.
"It's ancestors were very distinguished
and estimable people."
"Yes,' replied Miss Cayenne. "What
a misfortune for his family that so
many of them died."
tectlve garb, may smash Into each
other or dive Into a fence without the
least regard for the consequences.
The armor consists ot a one-piece suit
of stout material Into which the wear
er Is laced.
Attachod to the exterior of the suit
Is a long tube curled back and forth
until the entire person of the wearer
Is protected by a cushion ot air. The
latter Is pumped into the tube In the
same manner as a tire Is inflated, and
when it is desired to pack tbe suit the
air may be allowed to escape so that
the outfit will take up as little space
as possible. The Inflation and defla
tion Is done through the means of the
check valves at the sleeves and at the
trousers' top.
Perpetual Restraint
"When I was a boy," said Mr. Cum
rox, "my father used to reprove me
for reading dime novels."
"It was meant for the best."
"But a person ought to get beyond
that sort of discipline sometime. Now
my daughters reprove me for wanting
to see all the moving plcturea."
The Masoulln View.
His Wife Isn't my new town quite
becoming to me, dear?
Her Husband 8ur thing. And t
suppose the bill tor It will soon b
coming to m.