The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930, December 31, 1915, Image 7

The Maupin times., December 31, 1915, Image 7

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Newspaper Page TextUSE FOOLD LAMPS Economic Idea That Is Worth Thinking About. Simple Matter to Convert an Oil Lamp Into One That Can Be Used With Electricity Simple Dl rectioni to Follow. Do not discard your kerosene oil ta ble lamps when you install an elec tric lighting system. Your oil lamps can be converted into beautiful elec tric lamps by means of a simple at tachment, as shown in the accompany ing Illustration. The attachment can be made with as many as four sockets of either the rotary or pull-chain type. The latter is preferable. It the shade be small or shallow, small bulb lamps can be used in the shape of a ball, containing candle power or wattage equal to that of the long type. The attachment is set in the chim ney holder, and in the same manner aa.the chimney would set. The elec tric equipment to the lamp does not by any means dismantle any of the oil attachments. The lamp still con- Oil Lamp Converted Into Electrlo. tinues to be as it was, and can be used in emergency, if the electric serv ice should happen to go out of com mission. A standard key-socket is fastened to a brass bushing secured to the center of a brass plate, flat or crowned, that covers a brass tube one and one-half inches high and in diameter to lit into the chimney holder. The wire is led up to the socket through a hole in the side of the brass tube. In the accompanying diagram 1 1b a rein' forced flexible wire with rubber insula tion covered with silk or cotton to match the surroundings; J, attachment plug that will fit any socket that is now in general use; K, if opening hap pens to be extra large at this point, place a piece of mica or glass with color to match the shade. New York World. Philosophy at the Front. War, apparently, 1b a great trainer In eligibility for the "Don't Worry' club. Owen Johnson, back from the French lines, reports that "the prin cipal occupations of the soldiers when not In the tranches are eating and sleeping not worrying about the war. A visitor In France hears more hearty laughter In an hour at the front than in a week behind the lines." Soldiers must take things as they come and give little thought to 'bat Is coming if they would be anything but absolutely miserable. That neceS' sity 1b mother of the philosophy which takes little thought of the mor row or the next minute. Buffalo En quirer. Historic Houses. The Grange, the country seat of Alexander Hamilton, occupied by him 1802-04, is still standing. It has been moved from its original location, the west side of the present Convent ave nue, between One Hundred and Forty second and One Hundred and Forty- third streets, to One Hundred and Forty-first street and Convent avenue, next to St. Luke's church. The Fred erick Philllpse house is not standing, We can find no record to identify any house occupied by George Nash, Fraunces' tavern, now owned by the Sons of the Revolution, has been re stored in a measure to its original de sign, and the famous "Long room,' where Washington took farewell ol his officers, remains intact. Pursuing Mental Hygiene. Believing that many persona at pres ent confined in institutions for mental defectives could be completely cured If more humane methods of treatment were used, the Rockefeller foundation will conduct an investigation this win tor into the custody and treatment of Insane in state institutions, according to part four of its annual report. It will be the plan of the foundation to obtain a universal system of han dling; mental defective cases. Dr. Thomas W. Salmon of the United States public health service has ob tained a leave of absence from the government to take charge of the work. He will be responsible to the national committee for mental hy giene, which Is composed of trustees of the foundation. What We All Think. "Did your baby win a prize at the state fair?" "No. But there's only one good rca ton why he didn't" "What's that?" "We didn't enter him." Deliberation. "A man should always think before he speaks." "Yes." replied Miss Cayenne. "But It's a mistake to think so long as to create the Impression that you are composing fiction." Rich Minchurlan Coat Fields. The Fushun coal fields ot Man churla, operated by Japanese, are be lieved to be the richest in the world, containing more than 80,000,000 tdus Ot bituminous fuel. A 1 AN INTERESTING account of the travels of the Siberian ex pedition promoted by the Ox ford university's school of inthropology and the Philadelphia museum is given by Czapllca in the London Times. He tells of expert snces among the Tungus, strange and primitive nomad people of the Mon Solian type, who live along the Yenisei river, iar within the arctic circle, say ing: The few Russian traders who ven- ture i as much as three hundred nr fnnr hundred versts (a verst is about twn- thirds of a mile) into the tundra be tween the Yenisei and the Lena follow so-called "Russian route." startine Bastward from a little river settlement known as Dudlnka, on the Yenisei, in about 68 degrees north. But the pros- of finding, alone the route, na tives who have not come into contact with Europeans was small, and conse quently the idea which I had at first entertained of reaching by this means i lupgus, who were the objective the journey, was abandoned. An. other route the one which we finally decided to follow was suggested to by a Tungus. The startine nnint was the village of Monastir (Turuk- hansk), also on the Yenisei. This Is the most northerly Doint in the Rus- 9lan empire where there is a post of fice, to and from which mails are sent at more or. less rather itinrn than less lengthy intervals. Into Far Tungusland. Russian settlers and the few Tunena who live within two or three days' jour- Tungu Family and Tent .ley from Monastir, and who came in with the first heavy Snowfall, strongly advised me to abandon my plan of spending the winter in the tundra; we should find no gold there certainly not in the winter, at any rate so that I should bring out nothing more than I took In. Indeed, we should probably return if we did return diminished in respect ot some of our most essen tial personal belongings a finger or a nose or an ear. When the first Tungus those who had made their camps for the winter fairly near the village began to come in for supplies, I made haste to begin negotiations for sledges and reindeer for the journey. It was difficult to make them understand what exactly I wished to do. But at last I found a man to whom I was able to make it clear that I wished to go Into the heart ot Tungusland, to visit and talk with the Tungus, passing from tent to tent across the Limpllsk tundra that stretches for some thou sand versts between Turukhansk and L, Yessel the latter lying about 300 versts within the arctic circle to the northeast of Monastir, which is just wuth of that parallel. Tents Are Like Wigwams. The Tungus are nomad reindeer breeders, and the conditions ot their life as such make It necessary for each family to live at a comfortable distance from its nearest neighbors. A reindeer herd In Its search tor moss ranges over a large extent of territory, so that the distance between two en campments is hardly less than fifty, and may be as much as one hundred versts. An encampment comprises one or two tents ot shape and con struction similar to an American In dian's wigwam. When the most In the neighborhood of the camping place Is exhausted the family moves on to an other feeding ground, tents and house hold goods being carried on sledges, or NEW PALACE Steps are being taken In England toward the establishment ot a perma nent British empire fair, representing all the Industries and natural re sources of the empire, tayt an ex change. Influential manufacturers are now arranging a combination, through their trade associations, to erect a building at Wlllesden Green to be called the Palace ot Industry, which It It hoped to Dave ready tor opening In the tprlng of 1917. A site ot about fifty acres has been chosen, and it It planned that the exhibition will oc cupy 600,000 square feet and will be three timet the size ot the largeat ex hibition building at present in Lon don. The object Is to institute tor the British empire a fair equal In tlze and scope to the well-known Leipzig fair. Being a co-operative movement among British firms there tre to be no profits. A fixed charge It to be made tor space, based as nearly as possible on the total expense, and It Vs a coudltlon that any profit accruing on the backs of their reindeer. "Eat much," was the guide's advice; laugh much, and keep your feet dry. Then you will be all right." Indeed, I found his advice good, worthy to be borne in mind continual ly in a country where the midwinter temperature not infrequently falls to between 80 degrees and 90 de grees Fahrenheit. The great problem is how to keep your feet warm on the sledges, since it is well not to have your legs Incumbered with too much covering in case of an upset . It is of first rate importance to re member always to beat oft the snow clinging to your fur boots before en tering a tont, or at least before ap proaching the fire. At the Tungus Table. The Tungus are great eaters. Their diet consists principally of fish and reindeer meat, which they eat either raw or cooked. It takes some time to adapt oneself to the conditions under which food has to be taken sufficiently to be able to eat with appetite. It needs all the philosophy you can sum mon to your assistance to accustom yourself to the dirt and the smoke and the congested condition of the tents, but it Is unquestionably much easier and safer to face the cold and the wind on a full stomach than on an empty one. "And laugh much!" Indeed, no work would have been possible without "laughing much" and make your inter locutors laugh. What appealed most strongly to their sense of humor was my "foreign accent" in speaking Tun gus. They are a cheerful people, and though not apt to be communicative about the things I wanted to learn, a lively story or an opportune jest would usually put them in the right humor to relate a legend, full of tribal cus tom, or subject to be measured an thropologically. The use of more than a single cup ful of water for washing is held as great an extravagance as a bath in champagne would be among us. Foi water in winter Is precious since it has to be obtained by the tediour process of melting ice or snow. Strong Love of Country. The attachment of the Tungus tc their native land, strong and even passionate as it is, cannot be said to be Inspired by, or to inspire, any vis ible appreciation ot its beauty. When the northern lights turn one-balf ol the sky into a field of pulsing flame, the Tungus herdsman turns an indif ferent glance northward and sums up the whole magnificent spectacle with a casual "It burns" his only expres sion for this phenomenon which, in spite ot Its frequency, always filled us with a new sense ot wonder and mystery. The shadowy ravines, the vast frozen moors bounded on all sides by sheer precipices, the towering peaks, the frowning crags appeal to him only from the point of view of the trappei or the herdsman; here the most li plentiful, this Is a good place for Arc tic foxes, last season the hunters got many wild reindeer in this valley. is all an economic question with him His environment 1b his opportunity ot hit foe. This Is the land he hau won tor himself against the sightless own ers of the wilderness, Immemorial ene mles ot man, and he clings to his hard won foothold with a tenacity tnvet erate and unshakable. OF INDUSTRY shall be returned to exhibitors in nro. portion to the area occupied by each. Ventilation Experiments Experiments conducted by the New York commission on ventilation dem onstrate that as long as the tempera ture Is kept down the vitiated air ol an unventilated room where the hu mldlty Is kept constant has no direct effects on the pulse, blood pressure, body temperature, respiration or me tabolism, though the desire for food appreciably diminished. SawedOff 8ermon. It might be a good Idea for tome people to hold their tongues occasion ally and give their thoughts a chance to catch op. Greece's Debt to the Allies. The Independence ot Greece gained In 1830, wben It was declared a kingdom under tbe protection Great Britain. France, and Russia. IE POLICE WORK hiladelphia Bluecoats Had Job Rounding Up Goats. Youthful "Shepherd" Had Neglected His Duty, and the Guardians of the Peace Were Called on to Re lieve Distress. Must a policeman In the faithful per formance of duty chase stray billy goats? Must he round up lost "nan nies" and carry them to the station house, so they won't eat rubber plants on Blue hill? The question "has the goat" ot all the policemen in Ger- mantown and Chestnut Hill and there's a reason. Likewise the goats that graze on the greensward of an Italian colony In Cosgrove street, off Haines street, have the goat" of many residents of Germantown and Chestnut Hill. Recently the police have been irri tated by telephone calls from Irate householders telling how goats were chewing up the landscape. Matters came to a climax when Mrs. Helen Carr of 450 Cosgrove street telephoned to the Germantown police station that her daughter could not go to school because she was afraid to venture where the goats would shove her off the sidewalk and chew up her dress. The police decided to suppress the goats then and there. A patrol wagon loaded to the gunwales started for the goats. The policemen knew where the goats belonged. They knew that Fe lix Puscano, 616 Haines street, kept the goats for the milk they gave for the poor people of the Italian colony. And the policemen heaped maledic tions upon the head of Joe Puscano, the seven-year-old Bhepherd of the herd, whose duty it was to keep the goats off the lawns. After half an hour's exercise the po licemen got the eight goats into the police wagon and took them to the station bouse on East Haines street. They were locked up in horse stalls, like any other prisoners. Came an hour later Felix and his shepherd son, begging for the goats. It was supper time and the colony wanted its daily rations of goats' milk. After much parley the "billies" were released under ball to keep the peace. Philadelphia Public Ledger. TOO MUCH FOR THE WORM Combination of Silver and Copper Makes Its Imprisonment a Most Effective One. A strange and amusing experlement is described by G. Hugo in the Elec trical Experimenter, aB follows: Place a copper coin on a silver coin; the former should be at least three sixteenths of an inch smaller all around than the latter. A cent and a half-dollar will do; an English half penny and a silver dollar will do bet ter, because they are larger. On the copper coin place an ordinary earth worm and watch It try to crawl off. It cannot do it, for the instant its damp body, which is in contact with the copper, touches the silver it starts current of electricity that gives It a shock. The shock makes the worm recoil. It tries again, but each time its head touches the silver it gets the shock and soon' finds it is more com fortable to stay on the copper coin. Of course the current thus produced is very Blight, but It is quite enough for the worm. Problem for the Court. A perplexing problem in bovine ju risprudence recently taxed the legal attainments of local Jurists, says the Portland Oregonian. A bull and an automobile tried to occupy the same space at the same time, In conse quence of which the bull went to his final reward to appear before tho great high court whence no appeals lie, while the owner appeared before a more mundane tribunal, claiming damages. Tbe theory of the defense was that the collision having occurred at night the bull was guilty of contrib utory negligence In not having lights. Tbe plaintiff promptly pointed out that the bull had no horns to serve as chan deliers. Thereupon the defendant In sisted that tail lights should have been furnished. Charles J. Schnabel and J. B. Ofner, attorneys for the plain tiff, Immediately called the court's at tention to the fact that the bull had two bull's eyes, which served the same purpose, In which view Judge Joseph H. Jones concurred. Hygiene In the Army. The Japanese In their war with Russia made it a rule that soldiers should take special care In koeplng clean their uniforms and that they should bathe as often as convenient, and especially when there was time before an engagement Surgeons have often praised the excellent re sults obtained by the Japanese sur geons In keeping down the death rate due to Infectious diseases. Tbe long waits In trenches and the unusual con dition! ot the present war, however, made It very difficult to keep the men In the ranks up to a standard of clean liness sufficient to keep their uniforms free from Infective material. His Humanity. "So your husband t gone on a Maine hunting trip. Now do- you really think this kind ot sport It hu mane V "Oh, my husband Is as kind- hearted about it at can be. He never employe a guide with a family." A Pessimist. "Pa, what It a pessimist?" "A pessimist It a man, my boy, who can't enjoy thlt One autumn weather because he knows It isn't going to last." STORY OF TWO WATERMELONS Englishman Wat Perfectly Satisfied He Knew What He Wanted In Ordering His Dinner. That familiar things have different names In different countries was dis covered by an Englishman while be was visiting the United States. Thus he tells the story ot the watermelons: I was eating dinner in an eastern city, and saw on the menu, "Watermel on." We have watermelons in Eng land, but they are what you in Amer ica call "muskmelons." Therefore I called the waiter and said: "Bring me two watermelons." The dusky waiter's eyes grew large, and he protested: "But, sah, you don't want two wa tahmelons!" I am not accustomed to have waiters tell me what I want. I knew perfect ly well what I wanted. I saw some people at the next table smile at each other, and I was vexed. Therefore I replied to the waiter with much dig nity: "I want two watermelons." The waiter seemed about to protest again, but thought better of it, and went away. While he was gone, I looked round and found everyone with in hearing distance smiling curiously. Looking further, I saw another waiter Betting down before another man a plate containing an immense round of something green outside and bright red within. Then I spied my own waiter returning, bearing on each up lifted palm an immense green oval. No wonder the people smiled! The smile was about to become a laugh. 1 thought I would die! Then an Idea came to me! When the waiter reached my place, I looked at his burden quite Judicially, tapped each of those ele phantine "watermelons," and then gave my order in a calm, decided tone: "Bring me a slice from this one." Youth's Companion. No Time for Courtesy. "I noticed," said the husband, "you didn't say 'thank you' to the man who gave you his seat in the car this eve ning." "No," replied the wife; "you see, 1 once stopped to say thank you, and by the time I had done so I found that another woman had the seat." Reassuring. Nervous Old Lady (on small English railway) Oh, dear! How we're rock ing! I'm sure an accident will hap pen to this train! Elderly Aboriginal It's along o1 their beln' short-handed wP skilled men, mum, so my son 'e orfered to drive just to oblige and (confldon tlally) I don't think 'e knows much about it. Passing Show. Assisting a Selection. "Hurry up, now," he growled, "and order what you want." "But I can't tell what I want," she complained. "This menu is so con fusing. It offers oysters In all styles, but I can't tell what style I want from the menu." Well, maybe the waiter can show you some fashion plates." He Struck Out Jagreen I saw you talking to Bor rows on the street this morning. Bilbrown Yes. Jagreen Did he strike you for loan? Bilbrown Not exactly. He struck at me, but never touched me. How It Was Done. "For years," said the actor man, "1 have tried in vain to elevate the stage." 'That's an easy matter," replied the young architect And tbe very next day he proceeded to draw plans for the original root (arden. ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL. "He seems pretty heartless." "Heartless! Why, say, that man hasn't any more heart than a taxi' meter!" Clvlo Rivalry. "How Is the rivalry between Plunk- Vllle and Pllnktown as to population?" "As keen as ever. One of our girls married a Pllnktown man and moved there, thus reducing Plunkvllle's popu lation. But we Immediately desig nated four Plunkvllle boys to court Pllnktown girls." Wherein They Differ. Little Lemuel raw, what's the dif ference between a farmer and an ag riculturist? Paw A farmer, son, make his money on a farm and spends It In the city; an agriculturist makes bis money In tbe city and spends It on a farm. Consistent Position, "What are your views on prepared ness V "I'm to strong against It," rcpllod tbe determined antagonist, "that I'm not even prepared to five my views on the subject." Something Useful Wanted. "1 tell you our candidate would be an ornament to the bench." 'That's a poor argument these days. Ornaments are not so much In de mand as they were." Louisville Cou rier-Journal. wnat He Told Them. "This is a nice time of night to be coming home." "Yes, my dear, but I tried to get away earlier." "Tried to get away earlier, indeed! Those men haven't any strings on you, have they?" "No, my dear. I wanted to break up the game at 12 o'clock, but they insisted on playing another hour. So what could I do?" "Do? You could have told them I was alone, and you had to come home." "I did, my dear. I even told them what a nag you were, and how you'd make life miserable for me 'You told them that? The very idea! If that isn't just like you to blame me when you know you wanted to get to bed yourself. I want you to understand that if you can't think ot any better excuse than that for coming home you can stay as long as the rest do." Detroit Free Press. Cures Ivy Poisoning. For Ivy poisoning apply Hanford's Balsam. It is antiseptic and may be used to kill the poison. Prompt relief should follow the first application. Adv. Not Scientific. Scientific Parent (on a stroll) You see out there in the street, my son, a simple illustration of a princi ple. In mechanics. The man with that cart pushes it in front of him. Can you guess the reason why? Probably not. I will ask him. Note his answer, my son. To the coster My good man, why do you push that cart instead of pull ing it? Coster 'Cause I ain t a hoss, you old thickhead. Titbits. Sold upon merit Hanford's Balsam. Adv. Matter of Opinion. "Mary!" Father's voice rolled down the stairs and into the dim and silent parlor. "Yes, papa, dear." "Ask that young man if he has the time." A moment of silence. "Yes, George has his watch with him." '"then aBk him what is the time." . "He says it Is 11:48, papa." "Then ask him if he doesn't think It tbout bedtime." Another moment of silence. "He says, papa," the silvery voice announced Impersonally, "he says that he rarely goes to bed before 1, but It seems to him that it Is a matter of personal preference merely, and that If he were in your place he would go now if he felt sleepy." Harper s Ba zar. Irare Healthr. Stronir, Beautiful Eves Oculists aud Physicians used Murine ye Remedy many years before It was offered as a Domestic Eye Medicine. Murine Is Btlll Com pounded by Our Physlolaua and guaranteed by them as a Reliable Relief for Byes that Need Care. Try It In your Eyes aud In Baby's Eyes No Smarting Just Eye Comfort. Buy Murine of your Druggist accept no Substitute, and If Interested write for Book or tbe Eye Free. UUUINtt EVU ltKMEUK CO., GUIGAOO On the Water Wagon. The Alfalfa delegate was paying his first visit to a city of any size. Stand ing along the sidewalk, he chanced to see a sprinkling cart coming down the street, and no sooner had he set eyes on the thing than he began to laugh like the boy at a minstrel show. "Say, old pal!" he remarked hilari ously, punching a cop in the ribs, ' don t that Just beat all? "Don't what beat all?" responded the wondering cop. "What's the joke?" "Just look at that feller on that wagon!" replied the alfalfa party, pointing to the sprinkler. "That dern- ed chump won't have a drop of water left by the time he gets home!" Phil adelphia Telegraph. For sprains make a thorough appli cation of Hanford's Balsam, well rub bed In. Adv. As Judge Saw Them. One day while out walking with a friend in San Francisco a professor and his friend became involved in an argument as to which was the hand Boniest man of the two. Not being able to arrive at a settlement of the question, they agreed, In a spirit of fun, to leave It to the decision of a Chinaman, v ho was seen approaching them. The matter being laid before him. the Oriental considered long and carefully; Then he announced, in a tone of finality, "Both are worse. Chicago News. HOWARD K. BtTKTOh - aasarer and memlrt, Lead.ille, Colormlo, SHN-iuia prli-est Uold, Silver. Laid, tt. Uold. Sllior, Itoi Gold. Wo: Klna or Copper. 11. Mnlling envelopes a id full price list fentoa aj-plloatlon. Jontrol end Umpire workes llolted. ilelerenoei Carbonate National Bank, One of Those Friends. "Wombat, I'm a friend of yours and I must tell you that today Flubdub waB saying some very mean things about you." "If you are a friend of mine why did you stand there and listen to him?" 'Well, I'm a friend of his, too." Louisville Courier-Journal. Behind the Times. "John was a good man," said the disconsolate widow, 'but he was so oldfashloned to the last." "How so?" asked the sympathetic friend. "Why, he got killed by a runaway horse." Albany Argus. Out for the Cash. Edith So you are going to marry that rude old Mr. Hoxlelgh? I don't see how you can stand his ways.' Marie I can stand his ways, my dear, by remembering about his means. Boston Transcript, Thrill That Comes But Once, Eto, "Who Is that tramping around over head?" asked a Sedgwick young man, uneasily, while calling on his best girl. "That's papa," she replied. "He al ways gets restless along toward morn ing." Kansas City Star. Careless. Jones I nearly froze to death last nlkht In my flat! Janitor Well, you probably wore your spring overcoat to bed Instead ot your fur one. Chicago Dally News. Its Class. "Here's another funny story about getting a scat In a crowded car. "Oh, that's a standing Joke." Bal timore American. ! I SHIPPING are usually thin and easily worried, aleen dnea tint m fresh and the system gets weaker and weaker. Scott's Emaltion corrects nervous ness by force of nourishment- it feeds the nerve centres by distributing en ergy and power all over the body Don't resort to alcoholic mixtures or drug concoctions. Crt SCOTTS EMULSION for yomr aerves notAin- malt or compare with it. bat inlitt an IA feiuuM SCOTT'S. U-Si EVERT DRUGGIST HAS IT. Dalles-Columbia Line Winter Schedule, Nov. 25 to Mar. 15. Steamers J. N. Teal and Twin Cities for Kenne wick. Panco, Wallula, Umatilla. Arlington, Tha Dalles, Lyle. Hood River, White Salmon, Carton, Stevenson, Cascade Locks. Leave Portland Tues days and Fridays at 11 p. m. Freight and paten ters. Landing- Taylor St. Dock, Portland. Double Tread Puncture Proof Tits Made from your old ones. Last long as Brand New TIKES Write us. OREGON VULCANIZING CO 660 Washington St., Portland, Ore. LEARN WATCHMAKING Pleasant, profitable work not overdone: few months' learning-; positions guaranteed; write for references ana particulars. Portland Watchmak ing. Engraving and Ontiral Ri-hnol. 21ft Common. wealth Building, Portland, Oregon. TD A TD TVTC Farmers we have Dnil O Builders S"d"3 PLANS, specifications, etc., of a barn to meet tha needs of the modern, up to date farmer. State your requirements and for particulara write. T. H. BENTLEY, SOS McKay Bldg., Portland, Or. Cheek, Lord Reading said at a dinner in New York, apropos of Germany's pro posal to get back from the allies In the shape of a war indemnity all her war expenditure: 'That proposal savors of the Impu dent. It reminds me of the son to whom his old father said: ' 'Yes, George, I've decided to retire from active life and turn the business over to you.' But, father, can t you work a few years longer, and then we can retire together?'" Wounds on man or beast Bhould be healed by Hanford's Balsam. Adv. Could Use Shovel. There was a suden rush of work and the foreman was short of laborers. Going out into the road he found a -muscular looking tramp loafing at the corner, Here was a possible recruit. "My man," said he genially, "do you want work?" "What sort of work," asked the tramp cautiously. "Well, .can you do anything with a shovel?" The tramp suddenly beamed at the speaker. "I could fry a slice ot bacon on it," he said eagerly. For Adv. galls use Hanford's Balsam. The Bible Again. "Daisy," remarked the teacher, "don't love your cat too much. What would you do If It died you wouldn't see it again." "O, yes, I should see It In heaven." "No dear, you're mistaken; animals cannot go to heaven like people." Daisy's eyes filled with tears, but suddenly she exclaimed triumphantly: "Animals do go to heaven, for the Bible says that the promised land is flowing with milk and honey, and if there are no animals where do they get the milk?" The Old and Reliable Dr. Isaac Thompson's MUL WA LK Uk Vil Is both s remedy for weak. Inflamed eyes and an ideal eye wash. Keep ym tyst mil aal dwy will help keep you. Oe.ilillDrwiWurirte) Mail net al sria. WRITE FOR KKKK BOOKLET JOHN L. THOMPSON SONS CO. He Knew His Son. What the young fellow lacked In brains the father made up in money and the latter was very rich. One day a well-wishing friend, thinking to give the wealthy old fel low a hint, said to him: "Don't you think your Bon is wast ing his time staying here In this quiet little town?" A grim smile flickered round the old man's lips aB he replied dryly: "Well, he might JiiBt as well waste it here as anywlfere else." New York American. Plain Talk. "British Tommy (somewhere In France) Speak English Mooso? French Shopkeeper But yes a leetle, M'sleu. British Tommy nishto; then give us 10 pounds o' spuds, an arnse o' baccy, a packet o' fags and a box-o' Unlit", and be slippy! Bunion Trail script. No Time Lost. " "How about your new stenographer? Is she quiet and accurate?" "Yes, sir. She can powder her face, arrange her bracelets and fix her hair quicker than any stenographer I ever had. And do it accurately, too." Louisville Courier-Journal. Serious Work. "Captain, there are burglars In a house on Umphsteen street." "Don't bother me with, such stuff. I gotta raid a ladles' euchre game. I know for a fact that cash prises are to be played for." Louisville Courier Journal. P. N. U. No. 62, 1915 ytlKN writing te adTsrUaefs, please mm- FEVER Influensa, P I n k K y e, Rpliootlr, IMatemper and all nose and throat 1 o mm disease cured, and all others, no mailer how 'exposed. , kept from having any of then diseases with HPOM N I LI. QUID DISTEMPER CURB. Three to sis doses often ctira a rose. One 6'1-cent buttle guaranteed to do so. Beat thing for brood mares; nils on the blood. iv a bottle. fi doten buttles, Druggists and harnesn shops or manufacturers sell It. Agents wanted, , SPOHN MEDICAL CO., Chemists, GOSHEN, USD.