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About The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 3, 1915)
ANNOUNCEMENT to our patron! throughout the Pacific Northwest PORTUNO-S FOFUIAR HOTEL OREGON J""" placed under the management of N. K. Clarke, who was for many years connected with the Portland. Cornelius and Seward Hotels, and who will 'always extend to alt a cordial welcome. Commencing November 1st we shall in augurate the American plan in connection with the European plan. We solicit your patronage American Plan, $3 to $5 per day. European Plan, $1 per day up. N. K. CLARKE, Mgr. NO MEDICINE , If you are ailing In anyway, and want help. J:'nt? mf DR- L-M- DAVIS. 129W Russel street. Portland, Oregon. Beauty and Wealth p,vScSer,s 8"ta"'- , ", ' " ,, Culture show you how to attain both. Full instructions. Scores of valuable formulas. Beautify yourself. Start a Beauty Shop. Start manufacturing Beauty Specialties, All of these opportunities are open to you. Com plete system $1.00 per copy. Particulars FREE. Purack Specialty Co,, S28 Cham. Com.. Portland "USE THE RIVER" Dalles-Columbia Line State of Washington, for The Dalles daily n, Sunday 11 p. m. Leave Dalles daily eg. Monday 12 M. Steamers J. N. Teal. Inland Umpire and Twin CitieB for Upper Columbia and Snake river points. Taylor St. Dock. Tel. Main 613. Willamette and Columbia River Towiaj C., Portlud. A Subdued Vocalist. "Pa, you sing bass In the choir, don't you?" asked Bobby Smithers. "Yes, my son," replied Mr. Smith ers. "And ma sings soprano?" "That's right." "Well, there's one thing I don't un derstand." "What is it?" "Mrs. Tompkins says you sing mighty big In public and mighty small at home." A Solution. "I see that the English newspapers complain because the British work lngman drinks a few glasses of beer and then can't do anything else all day.". . "Why In the world don't the English government make a Christmas pres ent of a day's supply of that beer to each German soldier?" Judge. 'InM, Paf.killW 0ur Package contains 88 pieces AIIIU ravnu&IW of Christmas and holiday nor cities. Including post cards, folders, gift cards, stickers, tags, seals and cutouts, making a repre sentative package which is a rare value at 10c. Jackson & Co., 328 Cham, of Com., Portland. Ore. The Entrance Out. "What does 'exit' mean, mamma?" asked small Edna, pointing to the word over the door of a moving-picture theater. "I know!" exclaimed her little brother. "It means the entrance out." PE A STANDARD FAMILY REMEDY For Ordinary Grip; For All Catarrhal Conditions; For Prevention of Colds. An Excellent Remedy For The Convalescent; For That Irregular Appetite; For Weakened Digestion. Ever-Ready-to -Take Kitchen Philosophy. Mr. Bradshaw was In a great hurry and breakfast was late. "I wish you'd find out what this trouble is," he said to his wife. Mrs. Bradshaw returned from the kitchen wearing a melancholy expres sion, , "Well, well," demanded the hus band, "what did she say?" "She said," responded the wife, "that 'we all have our disappoint ments.' " Browning's Magazine. Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets repfu late and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels. Sugar-coated, tiny granules, easy to take. Do not gripe. Complete Failure. "I read a joke the other day about a man getting the last word with his wife by bawling it up the speaking tube as he went out the front door of the apartment house." "Tried it, eh? How did it work?" "Didn't work. My wife must have read the same joke. She let a kettle of soapsuds come down the tube just as I started to whistle up." Louisville Courier-Journal. , Best Proof That Resinol Heals Eczema In our file of reports, covering a period of twenty years, literally thou saids of physicians tell how success ful the Resinol treatment is for ecze ma and similar skin troubles. The first use of Resinol Ointment and Resinol Soap usually stops the itching and burning, and they soon clear away all trace of the eruption. No other treatment for the skin now before the public can show such a record of pro fessional approval. Resinol Ointment and Resinol Soap work so gently, and are so absolutely free from anything that could injure even the tenderest skin, that they are ideal for healing the skin troubles of Infants and children. Sold by all druggists. An Eye for the Future. Goldsmith Would 'you like any name or motto engraved on it, sir? Customer (who has chosen an en gagement ring) Ye-yes-ura, Augus tus to Irene. And ah look here, don't ah look here, don't ah cut Irene deep. London Punch. For all external Injuries to horses, cattle or sheep, apply Hanford's Bal sam. You should always have It on hand for accidents. Adv. Visitor What's that new structure on the hill there? Farmer Well, If I find a tenant for it, it's a bungalow; if I don't it's a barn. Passing Show. 55 Valuable formulu, Tricki, Illations, and HnJ"ho!d Hints in our Interesting matraztnt for two issues, bent ;i; ioc 0n,t))et? for - Jekc A O., 32 Chamber i Comnwti, Portland. Ors. P. N. V. No. 4. 1111 I WHEI writes? eo Wtarttarsv tie gsta. I " tie, tale pager. I LONG LANE By CATHARINE CRANMER. (Copyright, 1915, by the McClure Newspa . per Syndicate.) Tom Whiteford, once known among Mb friends as the gay and light hearted, began to feel .hat his way of life lay through the proverbial long lane that has no turning. Further more, it seemed that behind every mile post by the roadside there lurked some form of hard luck. Just at the time when his business prospects seemed to Justify his proposing to the dearest 'girl in the world, otherwise known as Betty Underwood, the war scare knocked him out of two of his biggest advertising contracts; a big firm at the last minute switched its contract to his least-suspected com petitor, and just as he had cinched the contract for a gigantic mail order campaign for another firm there came out a wordy postal ruling making it impossible to use postage stamps for the double purpose of stamping and sealing, without which Tom's unique mailing proposition lost one of its chief charms, and he could not inter est the firm in any of his numerous suggestions for a substitute. Soon after all these business mis haps he went for a week-end houBe party at Hillcrest Lodge, the home of Betty's bachelor uncle, George Wilson. There he was thrown still deeper into despair by seeing Betty accept with evident willingness the chivali;lc attentions of one Charles Arthur Mowbray, a tall, dark, dreamy eyed young man, said to have re turned but recently from a long stay in the Orient. As the son of her uncle's oldest college chum, he was In vited to Hillcrest Lodge, where his delineation of the legends of the Ori ent was a chief entertainment feature for Betty and some of the other girls in the house party. Added to this young man's charm of appearance and conversation was the appealing way in which he occasionally made reference between heavy sighs to a tragic ro mance In his own life while In the Orient. "Another legend, I have no doubt," thought Tom when he heard the story. "When a good-looking chap backs up his own tale of woe with a lot of ro mantic stuff about some faraway land It puts a halo around his head for every girl who listens to him." , The morose mood brought on by such reflections did not enable Tom to shine in comparison with the easy, suave, flattering chivalry of Mowbray. And Betty, being young and pretty and fond of novelty and flattery, was visibly impressed. It seemed to Tom that no matter where he turned he found this man with Betty sitting out dances with her in the evening, walk ing in the garden with her In the morning, sitting beside her at lunch eon, and at all times pouring out in that deep but' subdued voice legends, legends, legends. "I'll bet he's a crook for sure," said Jack Chisholm as they packed their suitcases Sunday night preparatory to returning to town. "When a fellow purrs like a cat I always look out for cat's claws to show themselves sooner or later." Tom refrained from the profane ac quiescence he felt with merely, "Should not be surprised." He had made up his mind to have a few minutes alone with Betty before he left, and he hurried downstairs aft er his packing to find her one of an in terested group listening to yet another legend of Mowbray's. When the story ended the talker was drawn into a conversation with his host and Tom lost no time In capturing Betty. "I've scarcely had a glimpse of you, Betty," he said. "May I steal you away from the others long enough to show you "the prettiest October moon on record?" Out on the broad porch Betty clapped her hands rapturously as she saw the great golden disk hang ing just above the horizon and throw ing weird shadows through the bare trees. "Oh, isn't It lovely?" she exclaimed. "Lovely enough to have an oriental setting instead of commonplace mod ern landscape gardening and archi tecture." "Commonplace! Gee whiz, Betty," protested Tom, "look at that sweep of brown fields on the left and that mass of tree-studded hills in the right, and this big, comfy home on the highest hill of them all. Anything commonplace about It all?" "There Is a certain rugged beauty about it," agreed Betty, "but It doesn't suggest romantic legends like oriental lands must do." "Oh, I don't know," said Tom, who had learned from his advertising work not to let any personal anger get in the way of landing a contract and he realized that he was now trying for the most important contract he ever hoped to land. "Can't you im agine some Iroquois maiden and her heap big hunter trysting hereabout when It was the land of the red man? You know, we're too busy leading lives today to concern ourselves much with legendry, but In its own good time our land will have its leg ends." "But isn't it a pity that ours is such a prosy age?" asked Betty. "Prosy? But is it? Modern men are fighting dragons .and conquering difficulties as never before." Betty did not reply and a moment later Tom continued. "The same old moon that shines on those faraway lands condescends to shine on ours, and not quite the same, but a better sort of love grows up In the hearts of our men for our women. Betty, I hadn't meant to tell you yet, but my heart is bursting with love for. you. I'm fighting dragons for you every day. When I've conquered enough of them to take care of you safely, will you let me claim you?" Betty'B eyes were dreamy and her bands were unresisting as Tom took them in his own, but just as she be gan to lift her eyes to meet Tom's de vouring gaze the hall door opened and the tall, slender figure of Mowbray emerged. With catlike swiftness be saw the couple at the end of the porch, and with cat-like silence he ap proached until quite near them. Thea in his purring voice he reminded Bet ty that she had promised to play his accompaniment while he sang "Be side the Shilamar." Betty and her mother remained at Hillcrest after the other guests de parted, and Monday evening after din ner, when the ladies had finished their coffee in the library, George Wilson lighted a fresh cigar and joined them there. "Well, we've seen the last of our oriental guest, I hope," he began, and Betty shot him a surprised look from where she sat toasting her toes before the wood fire. "You see, Mowbray came into my office last week with a tale about being here to get local color for a novel in preparation, and while I saw at once that he was not without weaknesses, 1 didn't suspect tha,t he was the degenerate I've since learned he is. His faultless manners were- sa like his father's . that I as sumed he had some of the deeper good traits of his father, and so invited him out here. His evident uneasiness when I mentioned Judge Morton's hav ing recently come here from his home city convinced me that he wouldn't care to have Morton tell what he might know about his home life. I made it my business to make inquiries today about Mowbray of Judge Mor ton, who is a professional associate of mine." George Wilson flicked tho ashes from his cigar into the ash tray on the arm of his chair. "And were your suspicions well founded?" asked Mrs. Underwood, i "Yes, and I mention it only because it will forewarn you and Betty not to be at home should he call. After spending his widewed mother's money Mowbray married a girl who had a snug little fortune. Their bridal trip to the Orient, which was to equip him with the material his genius was later to weave into immortal poetry, used up most of the fortune and se riously impaired the health of the wife, who died shortly after their re turn. Soon after he married a widow of means, who kicked him out after supporting him in idleness for a while. Then he went back and lay around his mother's home until she died, and, with the money secured from the sale of her home he equipped himself for social conquest, doubtless with the expectation of Inducing some other girl ttdevote her fortune to the de velopment of his genius." The telephone rang just then, and George Wilson answered it himself. Betty and her mother sat silently be fore the fire and heard Wilson's part of the conversation. i "Hello. Good evening, Mr. ; Mow bray. Yes, quite comfortable. Yes, Miss Underwood and her mother are both here, and I've just been telling them a tale told me today by Judge Morton, of whose ability to tell Inter esting tales you doubtless know. No, you're not Interrupting; the story had been finished and our conclusions drawn, and there will be no sequel to it." The receiver clicked into its holder and George Wilson returned to his armchair by the fire. A few mo ments later he addressed Betty. "Betty, I've been Interested for years in Indian folklore, and my clients, the Brown and Martin Real Estate company, have finally got a clear title to that large tract of land known as the Iroquois Triangle, and supposed to have been the scene of many a wild Indian escapade. They purpose to divide it into small tracts for residence and to enhance Its value by weaving some of my Indian folk lore into their advertising. Wouldn't you and your mother like to motor through that country with us tomor row and help fit the folklore into the landscape, as it were?" "Oh, we'd love It, wouldn't we, mother?" To which the mother re plied in the affirmative, and asked how many others the party would include. "Just Mr. Martin of the real estate company and Tom Whiteford, who mailed the contract today for the ad vertising." And it was on that motor trip that Tom's long lane that had seemed to have no turning turned abruptly Into a lane that led to success and happi ness and Betty. It Lacks the Punch. Imported lit burger cheese, that fra grant viand whose slightest whiff causes strong men' to turn away, has been bottled up In Germany by the British embargo, and thousands of German-Americans are Inconsolable. Here In this country the factories are turning out a cheese which is called llmburger, but although it is reminis cent of the winter quarters of a me nagerie and suggests the recently va cated kitchen of a Chinese boarding house, it still lacks the essential punch, eays a New York correspond ent of the Pittsbur3h Dispatch. Real llmburger must instant'y recall a tan yard in July or a private drain pipe of a fertilizing Btudlo. American llm burger is lacking In both particulars. One of the most reprehensible fea tures of the American product is its complete inertia. Where the old cheese, over a level surface and with favorable winds, could travel half a block over night, the 1915 model bare ly Btirs. Even in hot weather, which used to send the Imported ar ticle skidding on its way, the substi tute just trembles violently and sticks around. It is entirely unemotional It has no temperament. Making Good. "How's your new preacher getting along V "First rate." "His theology is acceptable, then?" "I don't know anything about his theology, but his looks please the women of his congregation and his game ot golf Is highly spoken of by the men." Its Name. 'What do you think Nellye calls the album with her admirers' photo graphs in It?" "What?" "Her 'him' book." For Both. "This Is strange. Here Is an aviary built beside a hangar." "Oh, that's all right. The hangar Is for the airship and the aviary for the blrdmen." Largest Direct-Current Dynamos. The largest two direct-current dy namos ever built have been completed in Germany, each with a capacity of about fifty thousand lt-candl poww lamps. , rgSlong the fMWfAST ; , 1 MOUTH OF THE quaint, delightful coast coun try of Cornwall, a favored haunt of peace and quietness, yet where some of the most im portant English naval stations are now busy, is described for the Na tional Geographic society by Florence Craig Albrecht. At points along this coast, England holds concentrated great battle fleets. Here, west of Lands End, are the Scllly islands, and, beyond Cornwall, further up the chan nel, lies Plymouth, military harbor and great naval base. The charm of this old-fashioned, picturesque land of fisher folk and peasants Is told by Mrs. Albrecht, who explored its coast before war clouds recalled a martial stir to Cornwall, for the society in the following bulletin: "Here are rock and headland and cliff, now green, now golden with gorse, now bare and rugged; inlet bay and harbor, with here and there an Isolated house, a tiny village, a pre tentious town, a great port. An un friendly coast? Yes, with heavy seas and winds, with thick sea-fogs a dan gerous one; rocks ever ready to tear holes In the stoutest vessel, currents ever ready to drive them on. But a picturesque coast; a wonderfully beau tiful coast, both upon summer days and in winter storms; a coaBt with many harbors, none too easy of en trance by reason of rocks and tides, and many Impossible for any but the smallest craft." All Have Splendid Memories. There are splendid memories re maining to all of these ports, the wri ter says, for too many fleets have sailed up and down the channel since history began not to have visited all these places with the task of making history. Fishing fleets have kept the foreground of the picture through lat ter years, but signs of war prepara tion have never been absent from Cornwall's waters and huge squadrons of grim, gray men-of-war have regu larly come and gone and gathered there. The writer tells of Penzance, the sunny pleasure-loving little sea city where the most picturesque 'of pirate types originated; of Newlyn, the home of the true old sort of fish ermen, and the Mecca of artists; of Marazion, the old, which, according to Cornish history, was an important city visited by Phoenician merchants in the days of Ezekiel the prophet; ot Fowey, once one of the greatest sea ports of the land, which sent scores of boats to the crusades, to the siege of Calais, to the plundering of Nor mandy, a one-time warlike city whose glory has long since faded. Fowey sent more than twoBcore men-of-war to Calais 770 men. How pitifully small are the figures today, when one modern battleship requires a larger than did that fleet 450 years ago. t :-.-v.tt..ojfr.-.-: . ::,.y,.'-1f...-i'.f:v.-.y,,'.J Cliffs near WANTED ONE DAY OF REST Insane Man, as Strict Sabbatarian, Could Not Think of "Working" on Sunday. Orvllle L. Klpllnger, chaplain of the Michigan City (Ind.) reformatory, tells the following instance of a scrupulous conscience: "Some years ago an Insane patient was given to the immodest, not to say expensive, habit of tearing his cloth ing from him and converting jeans, ticking, denlra or whatever the clothes were made of, Into carpet rags. "The prison physician remonstrated with the shredding nut as follows: "'Say, old man, you're certainly making a lot of unnecessary trouble for us. We don't think It's fair. Wouldn't you like to make money?' "The Insane man , emphatically averred his willingness to earn ready cash. "'Well, I'll tell you what I'll do," re sumed the doctor. 'I will give you ten cents every day you don't tear your clothes off. Kb?' ?. .... .... ffy 1 i , :Wrr?i i - THE TAMAR Not fifty ships of modern type could find place In Fowey harbor today, but for smaller craft submarine destroy ersIt affords admirable shelter. ' Polperro Is Picturesque. To the eastward of Fowey is Pol perro, the most picturesque, the most unspoiled of Cornish flBhlng ports, re taining all Its ancient dignity of life and labor unfluttered by summer villas now beginning to crowd tho cliffs above Its head. Polperro's chief catch is mackerel, crabs and conger. There are few, if any, conger-eel In American waters; they are to some people a most unpleasant-looking fish, Cornwall esteems them highly and makes them into pie with much cream and parsley. Cornwall, Mrs. Albrecht explains, makes any number of things into pie and calls the product Invariably "squab pie," though all things but squabs are among the materials. "Squab pie" gave rise to the following Cornish story repeated by the writer: "The devil came one day to the banks of the Tamar, the rippling river that divides Devon and Cornwall, and looked over at. the rocky land beyond. His majesty considered the swift cur rent and shook bis head. 'No!' he said finally. 'No, that's no place for me! Everyone who goes there Is turned into a saint and everything else into squab pie. I'm fit for neither one nor the other.' And he stayed in Devon." Just beyond the Cornwall bound ary Is Plymouth ot Mayflower mem ory, a city which has never allowed her growing commerce to interfere with her position as a fortress of the first class and a naval arsenal. Ports mouth, considerably further east upon this coast, is also a strong fortress and an important garrison town, and its great dockyards and repairing docks are likely over-busied now In the work of "keeping the sea that is the wall ot England." Substitute for Rubber. Successful attempts have recently been made to manufacture a substitute for rubber tubing' out of masses of solidified glue. These tubes are even better than those of rubber for certain purposes, according to Technlsche MonatBhefte, since they are more Im pervious to gases and more resistant to heat. It is also clamed that they do not grow rotten so quickly as rub ber, and that when incased in a suit able envelope they will withstand high pressure. Moreover, they are very cheap. The Inventor Is Prof. J. Traube, and he states that they are peculiarly suited for conductors ot petroleum and gasoline as well as gases. However, they are attacked by water, which ob viously limits their uses. polperro "The offender assented eagerly, and started in to make good. Tuesday his clothes remained Intact; Wednes day, ditto; Friday and Saturday the same. His reformation was the talk of the institution. "But on Sunday morning the gar ments the crazy man had worn all week were torn into strips and thrown ti) the four winds of his cell. " 'What docs this mean?' asked the indignant physician. '1 thought I bad you hired to keep your clothes on and be good!' " 'Well,' said the prisoner, Innocent ly, 'you didn't suppose I was going to work on Sunday, did you?' "Judge. Another Solution. "I have solved one problem. I won't have a lot ot soiled dishes on hand when my wife gets home." "How's that?" "I've broken most ot 'em. Half-8li. Teacher-"Wbat a tiny little chap your brother is." Tommy "I guess that's 'cause he's only my bait broliv behind the dough You may use an old favorite recipe - careiuiiy, tne oven may De just right, yet you will have a failure if -The Power behind the Dough" is not the right one to leaven it properly ana nuute u ugm, aigestmie, wnoiesome. Good baking without good baking " v."Tf' wuuuciiiu u ura uowi ana u mo oveo Take no chanctt and have "good At au No Longer Responsible. The dangers of travel by sea at this time have played havoc with the nerves of timid passengers. Early one morning recently there was considerable commotion on the decks of a coastwise vessel plying be tween Savannah and Baltimore, when a scantily clad man hurried from his stateroom and dashed toward the up per deck. On the way he ran into the captain of the vessel. "What's the matter, captain?" he managed to gasp. "Have we been tor pedoed?" "Calm yourself, my dear sir, and be prepared for the worst," answered the official. "Oh, don't tell me we're going down!" moaned the other. "Quick, where are the life preservers?" "They wouldn't be of any service at this stage," explained the captain. . "Too late?" quavered the despair ing passenger. "Yes," said the captain, solemnly. "We've done all we can for you. You'll have to look out for yourself from now on. You see, we've just tied up to the dock." In treating wounds containing dirt, always wash them out with warm soft water and eastlle soap, drying before applying Hanford's Balsam of Myrrh. Adv. No Warning. Petro had drifted down to Florida and was working with a gang at rail road construction. He had been told to beware of rattlesnakes, but assured that they would always give the warn ing rattle before striking. One hot day he was eating his noon luncheon on a pine log when he saw a big rattler coiled a few feet in front of him. He eyed the serpent and be gan to lift his legs over the log. He barely got them out of the way when the snake's fangs hit the bark beneath him. "Sun of guna!" yelled Petro, "why you no rlnga da bell?" nT HealUiy, Strong, Deantlfal Bye Oculists amirehyslelnua used Murlue Kje Remedy many years before It was offered as a Dumestlo Eye Medicine, llurlne ie Still Com pounded by Our Physicians and guaranteed by them as a Reliable Belief for Eyes that Need Care. Try It in your Ejes and In Baby's Eyes No Smarting Just Bye Comfort. Buy Murine of your Druggist accept no Substitute, and If Interested writ for Book of the Eye Free. MUU1MH BKK UEMKUI CO., CllICAUO Illuminating Comparison. - She entered the department store and complained about a lamp she had purchased, demanding that it be taken baok. i "What's the matter with it, mad am?" "It has all the faults of my husband, and none of his virtues." "Please explain yourself." "Well, it has a good deal of brass about it; it is remarkably brilliant; requires a great deal of attention; is unsteady on its legs, flares up occa sionally; Is always out at bedtime, and Is bound to smoke." WRITE ST0RIFS! For Movl"i' Pr- niXHL OIUIUU. auwrspny from Sv!5 to S10O each for Photoplays. Interesting and fascinatine-. No experience nccesHary. Work in spare time. Full particulars Free. Purack Specialty Co., 329 Chamber of Commerce, Portland, Ore. Polite Substitution. "What makes you keep sayin', 'Oh, War! Oh, War!'" asked the paper hanger. "Don't you know a synonym when you hear it?" asked the man who had just moved into a new house. "Is that one?" "Certainly. Everybody knows what war is. I just hit my thumb with a hammer and I dasn't use profanity around the house." Washington Star. Hanford's Balsam has been success fully used since 1846. As a liniment for domestic animals It is unsurpassed. Adv. Proves Itself. "You must never forget, my boy, that about one-third of all success 1b pure lnck." "But how can you make sure of this luck?" "Why, by being successful," An Expert "That new coach of ours Is one of the greatest football strategists in the world." "How do you make that out? The team hasn't won a game this year." '"I know, but he can think up more reasons why we don't win than any man I ever saw." In Fashion. "I have never owned any automo biles," said the man who hadn't yet paid for his home, "but I can say one thing in praise of them." "What is that?" Inquired Hender son. "Thev have made mnrtpneo r. spectable." Judge. Nervous Emotional Dizzy Depressed Karr.r::n-v-:s f Mn. Addl Curltlnttr, ot Ctdar it, Cairo, III., wmtt Doctor Pluto u hllowt t "I send 81 cento for your 'Com mon Sense Medical Adviser' for my daughter who has recently married and 1 k now tho book will beof much value to her. lhave read and used fur it years the valuable treatments contained In the "Medical Adviser and have taken many bottles of Dr. Pierce's Favorite PreeerlDtieB. and have been restored to health each time 1 used It. It is a great remedy for women aea strenath ouuaer, nne tor tag general health.'' and the best of materials and make it powder is out of the question. leavenins power, and ihe daub maKei good lesulu doubly cerlaio. of failun us K C lack" toary tint: bracers. Congressman Takes Money. Patrolman Patrick J. Walsh of the South Englewood station, Chicago, was looking for some young trees to plant around his bungalow. Near there -he came across a man clad In khaki, seemingly a laborer, hard at work in a grove. "I'd like to have a few of these young trees," said Walsh. "Help yourself," replied the man in khaki. Walsh uprooted several trees. He said he would like to leave them there until tomorrow, and the other replied that would be all right. "Fine!" exclaimed Walsh. "For whom shall I ask?" and he handed a quarter to the man in khaki. "James R. Mann." Representative Mann of the Secoud Illinois congressional district, minori ty leader in the house, pocketed the quarter as a souvenir. btcatue the entire tytttm become$ permeated with injuriotu acids. To relieve rheumatism Scott's Emulsion is a double help; it is rich in blood-food; it imparts strength to the functions and sup plies the very oil-food that rheu matic conditions always need. Scott a Emulsion has helped countless thousands when other remedies failed. No Alcohol Rehn Sibititatet. Well Supplied. "I'll take two cards," said the man on the right of the dealer. "Three for me," said the next man. The dealer gave each one what he had asked for and then picked up his own hand and looked it over. i'Tve got enough," ho announced as he cast a proprietary look on the chips in the middle ot the table. "I should say you have got enough," remarked the man opposite. "Count ing the two you've got up your sleeve and the three that are sticking out of your shoe, it looks to me as if you've got enough to play the game all by yourself. But before you do so I'm sure you won't mind if the rest of us take our chips out of this jackpot." If your horse goes lame, rub on and rub in thoroughly Hanford's Balsam, Adv. A Careless Person. Lawyer Judge, I want you to fine this man who was knocked down by my client's car. Judge Fine him? Why? Lawyer He had a nail in his clothes and it punctured a new tire. Topeka Journal. Perfectly Willing. "That boy of ours Is a lazy, good-for-nothing loafer," growled the head of the family. "He doesn't seem to want to do anything at all." "Why, Father!" said the boy's moth er, reproachfully, "you do Alfred an injustice. You know as well as I do that he said It you'd buy an automo bile he'd be only too glad to drive It." Let us tell you FREE of 24 new waya to make money. It may tie the beKinninir of financial in dependence. Addrt'BS, Puriu-k Specialty Co., 3'di Chamber of Commerce, Portland, Ore. Quite Likely. "I can't understand it," said the fair customer in the shoe store. "You say these are No. 4s, and they pinch dreadfully. The pair I had before wcr 3s and they never gave me any trouble." "tt'inaps the 3s were marked down," suggested the salesman. When a horse is calked in deep snow, apply Hanford's Balsam of Myrrh. It will quickly relieve. Adv, Horrible Mistake. The New Maid If you please, mum, these flowers come for you w'en you was out, an' I put 'em In water. The Mistress Good heavens, girl! What have you done? Why, that's my new hat! London Sketch. Scares 'em. "How did you get rid of that life Insurance agent so quickly?" "Oh, I'm always prepared for those fellows. I keep a large bottle of cod liver oil In plain sight on my desk, and when an agent calls I greet him with a hollow cough." WOMEN who are restless, with constant change of position, ' fidget iness," who are abnormally excitable or who experience fainting or dizzy spells, or nervous headache and wakefulness are usually sufferers from the weaknesses of their sex. DR. PIERCE'S Favorite Prescription Is the soothing, cordial and womanly tonic that brings about an invigorating calm to the nervous system. Overcomes the weakness and the drag ginfr pains which resemble the pains of rheu matism. Thousands of women in the past forty years can bear witness to its benefits. Tour dealer In medlclnee Bella It In Squid or eager coated tablet form: or you ean send 60one-cent ataatpe for a trial bog of Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription tablets. Address Dr. V. M. tierce, invalids' Uotel and Surgical Institute, Buffalo, N. I. hllllllllllllllNHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIU Dr. Pierce's Plauaai Fellett Refalste uj lavlfaraie Steetece, liver sad level, Sefar-Ceeted Tan fiaaalu. jjmiiiKaiiiiimiwniiimiiiiiHinHgaiunaautsaa
