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About The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 12, 1915)
e Power of
By- H. M. EGBERT
(Copyright, 1915, by W. O. Chapman.)
1 Dr. James Dyce looked down on
the unconscious figure upon the bed.
The man had ceased to mutter and
toss In his delirium, and now lay in
that stupor which wag Itself the crisis.
In eight hours he would be dead or on
the road to recovery,
i Beside the doctor stood the white
capped nurse, almost as silent and still
as the figure huddled among the sheets
and pillows. The mental crisis
through which the two watchers were
painfully struggling was almost as
acute as the physical crisis of the
It was not a severe case, but the
man's system, weakened by years of
debauchery and months of poverty,
Seemed unable to fight against the at
tack. Doctor Dyce beckoned the nurse out
side the room. They stood face to
face together. There was on the doc
tor's a look of grave Inquiry.
"That Is the man who was your bus
band?" he Inquired.
"Who Is," she answered.
"And you refused to marry me be
cause of him?"
"You are unfair, Charles," she an
swered, In low, passionate protest.
"It Is because he Is what he is that
I know my duty is toward him. He
recognized me. He will come back
to me. I cannot desert him, lu spite
"You love him!" sneered Dyce, and
then suddenly caught her In his arms.
"Molly!" he whispered, "you are
never going to ruin our two lives
for that man!"
i She let him kiss her, but Bhe with
drew from his arms and stood still
facing him, still pale and expression
less. "I cannot do wrong toward him,
much as I love you," she replied. "But
oh, Charles, It would be a mercy for
all of us, and none would be better oft
than he If ho were to die."
The doctor, who seemed to be re
straining himself by a mighty effort
of will, now became the professional
"We will try atropln," he said. "1
believe it will give him hiB fighting
chance. I shall mix the prescription
myself. It Is a dangerous drug to use,
but it Is a case where herolcal meas
ures are needed."
"Ybb, doctor. At what time should
It be administered?
In four hours, when the crisis Is
imminent. When do you go off duty?"
"When the crisis Is over."
"You are wearing yourself out, Mol
ly," began Doctor Dyce. Then: ''Well,
we must forget ourselves, with all our
hopes and fears, and do our duty."
She sighed. "Yes, doctor," she an
swered in a mechanical manner.
Doctor Dyce ate his supper In his
office. He made his rounds of the
patients, bandaging, adjusting, while
his mind was working on a totally dif
ferent matter. At last he stood alone
before his medicine chest, whore the
deadliest drugs were kept, dispensed
only under his personal supervision.
There he faced his problem squarely.
Dyce had little belief in convention
al morality. He loved Molly, and she
him. The man on the bed In the little
room was useless to himself, useless
to the world. Was it right that two
lives, or even three, should be blight
ed so that the man Bhould live and
cumber the earth?
He had mixed the medicine before
his mind was made up. He remem
bered afterward that he was working
in the same automatic manner, and
his brain, cool and singularly clear,
soemed animated by an Infernal will
and dominated the situation complete
ly. Slowly he took down bottle la
beled macinlte and set It upon the
table side by side with the atropln.
They were two drugs of equal pow
er, but very different power. An in
finitesimal dose of the atropln would
exercise a certain stimulus on the red
blood corpuscles which might pull the
patient through the crisis of his dis
ease. An equal dose of the macinlte.
too small for post-mortem detection,
would dissolve the corpuscles and
bring about death. In a healthy man
an equal dose of either would produce
no effect whatever.
Doctor Dyce might have told him
self that It would not be he, but the
fever that would kill the drunkard
above. But be was too honest for
"I am going to kill him," he said,
and dropped a drop Into a tumbler of
water. From this he took two drops
and let them fall Into the medicine.
He shook the bottle. He went up
stairs, "Two teaspoonfuls In an hour,
nurse,' be said to Molly. "Call me it
he shows signs of a change for the
worse. He ought to pull through, how
ever, with this atropln."
He looked down at the face of the
unconscious man. There bad been not
tbo slightest change; he was breath
ing slowly and the almost Impercepti
ble pulse had hardly varied a beat
. He went Into his room and lay down
on the sofa. He could not sleep, but,
awaiting the summons, he reviewed
his action and Justified It it not in
the sight of God, at least In that of
' It was nearly two hours later when
the summons came. There was a
light tap at the door. Dyce sprang to
his feet and opened It Before him
stood the nurse.
I "Como at once!" she whispered
tensely. "I am afraid something Is
happening to him, doctor."
I He hurried up the stairs and Into
the room. A single glance showed him
'that the man was dying. The crisis
bad coma and passed. There was
hardly a flicker of life. At that la
stant Dyce was afraid for the first
tlmo In bis life. II was afraid that
the dyinf man would open bis ayes
and look at him. He felt his hands
trembling. Molly, beside him, clung
to the foot of the bed and stared at
But the dying man gave no sign of
recognition. Slowly the remnants of
life faded out. The breathing grew
deeper and slower. Once It stopped,
then It began again. It stopped.
There followed a long-drawn sigh. The
man was dead,
And Molly, suddenly overcome,
fainted clean away. 1
Dyce raised her In his arms and
carried her into the nurses' room. He
told the night superintendent what
had occurred. . "She has been over
working," he said.
"She wouldn't leave the patient,
doctor," answered the woman. "She
bad your permission, sir."
"Quite right," said Dyce. He
worked over Molly until she began to
revive. And now he had again that
singular dread of meeting human
eyes. He could not meet Molly's
eyes when at last they opened and
fixed themselves on his. Though the
girl did not suspect, It almost seemed
as If she had known, in that dim land
to which her swocn had taken her.
And, though they were alone, Dyce
did not dare ', speak of anything rut
his professional duties.
"You must go to bed now, and we
will talk In the morning," he said.
"You have done all that you could
do. You could not save him, nor I.
The atropln came too late. I should
have given it yesterday, but I was
She rose without speaking and left
the room. Dyce went back into his
own room. And, flinging himself down
cm the sofa, he felt the paroxysms of
deadly fear take hold of him.
He was a murderer, though none
knew of it but himself. He alone must
bear that lime- brand of Cain for the
rest of his life. At that moment even
the gain of Molly seemed singularly
Inadequate In the place of the soul
which he had lost.
A murderer! For ever and for ever
that word would be burned Into his
heart and brain. The years would pass
with Molly, and she must never know,
she must never discern the cause of
his inner unrest. A murderer! And
for her sake!
He saw how mad he had been. At
the time he dropped the drug Into
the glass he had sinceroly bolieved
that he was acting according to the
laws of human duty. Now he felt
Lay In That Stupor Which Was Itself
the burden of that higher law which
says: "Thou shalt not kill!"
He-could bear It no longer. lie
rose and begun pacing the floor. But
suddenly he romombered that he was
not wholly safe from detection, not so
long as that toll-tale bottle remained
bosldo the atropln upon the table.
Ho Biiatched It up. Then his hand
fell to his aide and he was staring In
wild amazement at the bottle. It was
uncorked. It had never been opened!
The automatism of his hand had
been guided, not by his cool and calcu
lating brain, but by some higher pow
er. Perhaps It was God! He had
given the sick man atropln after all,
and not the deadly alkaloid. He had
never touched the waxed stopper of
Suddenly he foil upon his knees and
poured forth his 'leart In thanksgiving.
He had not prayod for years; now he
prayed for mercy, that the evil thought
might be purged from his soul even
as the deed had been.
When he aroBo he was tranaflgured.
In an ectasy of happiness he hardly
heard the door open until Molly stood
on the threshold.
"O thank Ood It Is all right!" she
cried. "I was afraid I was afraid
you cannot guess what I feared!"
"And now you fear no longer?"
"Your face, Charles! Upstairs It
was so clouded, and horrible thoughts
came to me; but now I know It Is all
right. I dared to mistrust you. Can
you forgive me? I thought "
"I thought it too," said Dyce, "but
the thought vas only a thought, Molly.
It Is gone now, with all the ra-t.
Molly, dear, w'll you kneel down with
me and pray that no such thought
shall ever trouble us again?"
Experiments have been made In Eu
rope to determine what color in a sol
dier's uniform is the least conspicuous
to an enemy. Of ten men, two were
dressed In light gray uniforms, two in
dark grey, two In green, two In dark
blue, and two In scarlot All were
then ordered to march off, while a
group of officers remained watching
The first to disappear In the land
scape was the light gray, and next,
surprising as It may seem, the scarlet.
Then followed the dark gray, while the
dark blue and green remained visible
long after all the others had disap
peared. Experiments In firing at blue and red
targets, made at the same time, proved
that blue could be more easily seen at
a distance than red.
Rewarding People of Worth.
The Carnegie foundation Is now
paying allowances to more than 80(1
retired teachers and 85 pensions to
widows of teachers.
HE world will go gold-hunting
until the last yellow nugget Is
extracted from the earth. Nat
urally the Klondike and Yukon
goldflelds, as the latest to be
opened, will attract the would-be pio
neers of the present, and romantic
stories coming out of the great Alas
kan forests and mountains will stir
the blood of the adventurous until the
whole region has become commercial
ized. In a recent publication of the
Smithsonian, H. C. Cadell reports his
studies and investigations in the Klon
dike and the Yukon and presents a
picture of conditions In these famous
fields which the man with the gold
fever will do well to see.
The name Klondike was once in ev
ery mouth, and late in the nineteenth
century It nearly became a synonym
for all that was rich and prosperous.
But of late It has not been so common,
Its early bloom having faded away.
The sensational pockets of fine placer
gold, which attracted hordes of hardy
adventurers from every quarter, now
are nearly depleted, and no new ones
have been discovered to maintain Its
earlier reputation. But while this part
of the Yukon district can no longer
be called a poor man's goldtleld, It
still contains a considerable quantity
of alluvial gold which can be secured
by the application of capital and
brains. It remains a region well
worth visiting, for besides the gold It
has other possibilities of development.
There are many points of geographic
and scientific Interest; in this remote
and Imperfectly explored northwest
ern corner of the British empire there
are numerous problems awaiting the
discussion and investigation of the
geologist and the geographer of the
yearn to come.
Skagway Now a Wretched Spot.
On his trip of investigation Mr. Ca
dell steamed up the coast from Van-
couver, and through the Lynn canal,
to Skagway, which he terms the gate
way to the Yukon, and describes as
"a wretched little town with decayed
wooden bouses and grass-grown
streets, the scene of many robberies,
riots and murders at the time of the
gold rush, which the police authorities
had neither the power nor energy to
control. Skagway Is not, and can
never be, of much use to the United
States except as an obstruction to
Canadian progress, but might be of
some advantage to the vast Canadian
hintorland less than twenty miles in
land." Skagway is surrouudod on three
sides by a plateau of steep and rug
ged mountains through which two
trails lead to the north over the White
Horse and the Chllcoot passes, up
whose wild "and difficult ravines thou
sands of fortune-seekers trekked and
struggled with their heavy packs,
tools and tents In the mad rush to the
expected El Dorado over five hundred
miles away. Soon after the gold was
found in quantities a mountain rail
road was built up the White pass
from Skagway to the summit and on
to Lake Bennett, a distance of 40
miles, traversing a wild and lceworn
plateau of glgantlo proportions,
strewn with moraines, sprinkled over
with lakes and inclosed by snowy
peaks 6,000 to 6,000 feet in height.
At the head of Lake Bennett lies the
deserted town of Bennett, where, at
the time of the gold rush, there were
lodged some five thousand people in
houses, huts and tents. The only
building now standing beside the rail
road Btatlon is a wooden Presbyterian
church which shows that at least a
few righteous men were among that
sordid crowd. It was here that the
first prospectors and miners got Into
boats and canoes and navigated their
frail craft through lakes and rapids
tor the remaining 631 miles of their
venturesome Journey to Dawson City.
STILL HAD THE ADVANTAGE
Big Man Really Had Little Right to
Complain, According to His
Familiar figures in Louisville are
two men who are always seen togeth
er and who by their contrasting sizes
are conspicuous as they walk along
the street. One of the pair Is about
the biggest man In this locality and
the other, well below medium stature,
seems even smaller when accompanied
by his friend.
They are Inseparable and friends
say that they take advantage of their
close companionship to make one an
other the butts of various Jokes. Some
times It Is the little fellow that suf
fers, but oftener the laugh Is at the
expense of the giant.
The big man Is not always as
healthy as his size might Indicate. In
fact he often complains of the way he
Is feeling and his small companion
takes htm to task for doing so. This
occurred ttve other day within hearing
of a crowd on street corner.
The last stretch of the railroad from
Skagway runs along Lake Bennett to
White Horse, a few miles above Lake
Laberge, where safe navigation down
the Lewes river to Dawson begins.
Dawson City the Center.
Although the great Ice fields of. the
early ages swept the greater portion
of North America they missed the re
gion of the Klondike, and consequent
ly the gold-producing deposits re
mained Intact until the early prospec
tors discovered them. The Yukon
goldfleld Is confined mainly to the vi
cinity of Dawson City, although
small quantities of gold can be found
In the sand of the Yukon for hundreds
of miles up the valley. Dawson City
is situated on the alluvial flat where
the Yukon Is Joined by the Klondike
river, two tributaries of which are the
famous Bonanza creek and Hunker
creek. Although traces of gold were
discovered In the Yukon valley in
about 1869, it was twelve years later,
In 1881, before it was found In the
Big Salmon, and in the Lewes, after
ward coarse gold was found on the
Fortymlle, a tributary of the Yukon
below Dawson, and in 1894-1906 the
discoveries of Bob Henderson and
George Cormack, In Hunker and Bo
nanza creek and many miners made
fortunes in a short time, but unfor
tunately most of the gold was spent
foolishly or in debauchery. One man
Is said to have taken $600,000 out ol
a claim 86 feet by 300 feet, but, so
the story goes, he spent it In a few
years and died in poverty. The quick
est fortune on record was secured by
two men who cleaned up gold to the
value of $05,000 in 27 hours. Stories
of the proceedings at Klondike during
these "golden days" are not edifying,
but point to the moral that wealth
too easily and quickly won is apt to
The total output In 1898 was $20,-
000,000, from which figure It jumped
six million annually until 1900, when
the production reached $22,275,000,
the highest point. From this point a
steady decline began until In 1908,
when it was $2,829,131, at which time
hydraulicklng and dredging began,
and the total output rose slowly until
it was $5,018,411 In 1913. It has been
estimated that only about $20,000,000
worth of gold remains to be produced,
out of the original available amount ol
nearly $180,000,000. At the height ol
the boom in the winter of 1899 the
population of Dawson Is said to have
reached 25,000; recently, however. It
has dwindled down to less than two
Three Ways of Getting Gold.
The various processes of recovering
gold In this region fall under three
main heads Individuals, by washing
surface gravels with shovel and pan,
or by sluicing with flume and sluice
box; small parties, by working drift
with mechanical scrapers and sluices,
or drift-mining In shafts and sluicing,
and capitalists, by dredging with pow
erful mechanical plants, hydraulic
sluicing with monitors, or mining and
stamping ore in mills. The first class
Includes "poor men's diggings" and
the second requires more financial re
sources and mechanical ability, but a
successful man In the first may be
come a member of the second class.
While the first two classes require
fairly rich ground, only men with ex
ceptional ability and ample capital can
reach the third class.
The vast territory of the Yukon dis
trict Is imperfectly explored, and al
though it Is far north, the climate In
summer Is warm and favorable for ag
riculture and grazing. Exploration Is
now readily effected from Dawson, and
Mr. Cadell hopes that fresh enterprise
will reveal new resources that will
load to the permanent settlement of
this remote and almost uninhabited
They met there and the little fellow
"Well, how are you feeling today?'
"Im about half sick," was the re
"Go on, man," cried the little fellow
who could see nothing wrong with his
mend. "Even if you're half sick
there's more of you well right now
man there Is of me.
"It must have been a glorious mo
ment for Isaac Newton when the ap
ple hit -htm on the head as he sat
under the tree.
"Yes," replied Farmer Corntosscl
"He not only discovered the law of
gravitation, bu; he found convincing
evidence that the fruit crop for that
year was not a failure.
A Striking Comparison.
Church I see the chances of being
struck by lightning are four time
greater in the country than in the
Uotham Perhaps, but the chances
of being struck by something els art
twenty times greater In the city.
0 MARINE SAFETY
nvention Seafaring Men Con
Electric Oscillator, Within Ship's Hull,
Will Announce the Proximity of
Another Vessel, Locate Icebergs,
and Send Messages. ,
A marine signaling apparatus which
It is believed will diminish sea disas
ters consists of an electric oscillator
which announces the presence of an-
Above, Metal Diaphragm; Below, Put
ting Apparatus Overboard.
other vessel, locates Icebergs, Indi
cates sea depths and provides for the
transmission of submarine telephone
and telegraph messages, says tho
The device consists principally of a
24-inch metal diaphragm attached to
a cylindrical case, within which Is an
electromagnet actuating a copper
sounder. The oscillators, when In per
manent position, are placed inside of
a ship's skin, beneath the water line,
on both the port and starboard sides.
Vibrations of the diaphragm amount
ing to a movement of one thousandth
part of an inch and repeated with
great rapidity throw out sound waves
under the water, which may be caught
by the receiving apparatus on another
Signals of this kind have been heard
at a distance of 30 miles, while at
shorter ranges numerous telegraphic
conversations have been carried on
successfully. In one instance the ex
perimenters actually talked between
two ships. In locating Icebergs it Is
the echo which gives warning of the
presence of danger.
With a stop watch it is possible to
estimate quite accurately the distance
of these barriers.
Overcame the Drought.
Low water In the Columbia last
spring and the lack of rain for the
last six weeks has caused the disap
pearance of the large lakes and
marshes on the west side, thus threat
ening the destruction of duck hunt
ing for the present season, says a
Kelso (Wash.) correspondent of the
Not to be denied this sport, E. E.
Brown and Grover L. Thornton are
pumping their hunting lake on the
A. G. Huntington place full of water.
A six-inch centrifugal pump, capable
of pumping 1,000 gallons of water a
minute, has been Installed on the bank
of the Columbia, and has been work
ing for the last week creating a lake
for hunting purposes. This is the first
time that such a novel scheme has
been employed here, and the work Is
attracting much attention.
Men's Hair Grows Green.
Employees in the plant of the New
York Air Brake company In this city
who are engaged. In work upon the
company's munition contracts with the
allies are becoming afflicted with
green hair and mustaches. Acid in
which the Jackets of the shells are
dipped to clean them Is attributed as
the cause of the phenomenon. The
change has been slow in affecting sev
eral men, but it has proceeded surely,
and a half dozen or more now have
brilliantly green hair and mustaches.
The green hue appears to be absolute
ly fast color, as several have attempt
ed by means of shampoos and flcrub-
blngs to remove the color, but without
avail. Watertown (N. Y.) Dispatch
to Philadelphia Record.
Scotch Fisheries Show Decline.
The Scottish fishery board in its re
port dealing with conditions in 1914,
states that the sea fish of all kinds
landed within the year amounted to
7,440,321 hundredweight, of the value
of $16,614,340. This is a decrease in
value as compared with the preceding
year of $3,840,549, and in quantity of
388,029 hundredweight. The result
was obtained by 8,869 fishing vessels,
manned by crews numbering 37,594.
In 1913 there were 8,991 vessels, with
crews numbering 38,262.
The Leisurely Obstructionist.
"Slow but sure is the good old way.?
"That's right" replied Mr. Chug
gins. "If you want to have the whole
road to yourself and be free from
any care, you want to leave your au
tomobile at home and drive a hay
"Have you read Shakespeare?"
"No," replied Mrs. Cumrox. "I un
derstand there Is a great deal of
doubt about those writings, and I
make It a rule never to pay any at
tention to anonymous communlca
Jons." A Different Way.
"Miss Flighty made all her money
"She doesnt look literary."
"She Isn't She won a breach of
promise suit with 'em."
BULLET HITS "EARLY BIRD"
Soldier Would Hava Escaped Being
Wounded by Leaden Missile naa
He Been Second Later,
Prtvatn niank was known to all hit
phnm n "thn earlv bird." probably
because it was an exact description
of the very opposite to what he real
ly was, for "the early bird" was al
ways late, the last man to get out of
bed at reveille and the last man on
nar-orin and when his reelment sailed
for France his chums declared that
he was the last into the transport
ship and the last out of It.
When his regiment was doing its
spell In the trenches "the early bird"
was sent for by his officer, and as he
was creeping along the trencn to
wards the dugout a stray bullet caught
him in the shoulder, Just as be was
outside his officer's shelter.
Aftnr nnini? that he wasn't serl-
ously wounded, the officer explained,
with a twinkle In his eye, "It you naa
Just been a second earlier you would
have missed that."
"I would. sir." returned Private
Blank, "or If I had been a second la
ter it would have missed me." Lon
New Type of Prodigal.
'The people In his home town said
he never would amount to anything."
"And now he's rich. I presume ne
went back and paid off the mortgage
on the old home place, or did some
thing of that sort."
"No. This old home place wasnt
mortgaged. He went back and de
moralized his good old parents by giv
ing them a high-power automobile.
Now they are the worst Bpeeders In
He Let It Go.
Fault Finder (in front of dairy res
taurant) I notice the word Dairy
on your new sign is spelled d-l-a-r-y.'
Proprietor I know it is. I was go
ing to have it changed, but the painter
convinced me his way of spelling the
word was more suggestive.
Fault Finder More suggestive?
Proprietor Yes; he said It con
veyed the idea of putting things down.
A Dire Threat.
"I know a man married to a womar,
who hasn't a single living relative "
"Fine! He certainly can't have any
trouble with her relatives if they are
'I don't know about that. Every
time they have a spat she threatens
to visit a spiritualist and call up two
or three of the most cantankerous
'Well, what's the trouble now
asked the gruff old doctor of a chronic
'Oh, doctor," whined the profession
al Invalid, "I feel such an awful paiu
in my side every time I raise my hand
to my head."
"Huh!" grunted the wise M. D.,
"then don't raise your hand to your
head. Two dollars, please."
"Why don't you ask your office boy
to wash those windows?"
"I ain't got the nerve to do it, old
man. He was the valedictorian of his
Others to Blame. -
"111 not put up any longer with
your willful extravagance," Bald Mr.
"But it isn't willful," said Mrs. Cob
bles, on the verge of tears.
"What do you mean by such prepos
"Simply this. I'm not setting the
pace, I m merely trying to follow It."
Exception to the Rule.
Kemember, said the professor,
"that the effect is always preceded by
the cause. '
"Beg pardon, professor," Interrupted
the wise student, "but In the case of a
man cutting grass with a lawnmower,
doesn't the cause follow the effect?'
"What is his chief aim in life?"
"He wants to educate the masses
"A philanthropist, eh?"
"Not enough to notice. He wants
to educate them to use a little house
hold necessity he's put on the market"
Matter of Sex.
Her At the conclusion of an argu
ment between a man and a woman the
man may be silenced but not con
Him Yes, and the woman may be
convinced but not silenced.
"Don't tell me her henpecked hus
band is going to wear the willow for
that old cat"
"It he does, will It be the pussy
willow?" No Equipment
"Why don't you become civilized f
asked the missionary.
-Were willing," replied the savage
chief. "But we have no facilities for
studying high explosives."
v They Had to Be.
Maud Don't yon think ther art
Just as good fish In the sea as ever
Marie 1 don't know. But they its
el US I .
WASTED A LOT OF TOUCHING
Perspiring, Stout Individual Discovers
He Has Squandered Energy In
Pushing Elevator Buttons.
On the eighth floor of one of Salt
Lake's office buildings a stout man
raced perspiringly the circuit of the
signal buttons of the four elevators.
Why touch them all?" asked a thin
Because I want to catch the first
car down," answered, the stout one de
terminedly, the while be mopped his
brow and waited with a confident ex
pression of having corralled the serv
ice. But the touching of any of the
four buttons signals the first elevator
going down," protested the cadaverous
man. "Is that not right?" he asked
the elevator boy as they stepped
aboard a car. The youth answered
In the affirmative upon hearing an ex
planation of the question.
Well," said the stout party, "I've
sure been wasting a lot of button
touching." Salt Lake Tribune.
Do you approve of these barefoot
No; they are too barefaced."
Proof of Innocence.
That's Green sitting at that table
over there, and with a woman not his
"So it Is. But she's some relative
"Do you know her?"
"No, but even Green wouldn't dine
with such a homely woman unless she ,
were related to him."
Contained No Thought.
"Lltewalte .savs he wanted tn crM
that speech he Just now delivered 'off
'I don't like slang. Why didn't he
say 'off his mind'?"
Perhaps his remark was more ap
plicable than you suDDOse. So far
as I could Judge, his speech was noth
ing but sound."
Such a Tenderness.
Wife I had to discharge the cook
Husband What for?
Wife Oh, she got so tender-hearted
she didn't do her work properly.
Husband Is that so?
Wife Yes. Why. onlv this mnrnlns
she refused to beat the eggs or whip
the cream. -
"The Twobbles complain that mar
ried life Is dreadfully expensive."
"Why, they don't appear to spend
"No, you don't see them spending It,
but Mr. Twobble employs a detective
to watch Mrs. Twobble and she r
tains one to watch him."
"For seventeen years I've been a
straphanger on this road."
"And you have no complaint to
"None In particular, although I have
often wished that I could see what the
scenery looks like."
Hojax I told Miss Gotrox last night
that she was the light of my existence.
Tomdlx Then what?
Hojax Then her father called from
the head of the Btairs and the light
Little Lemuel Say, paw, what did
maw mean when she said Mrs. Jones
Paw It means, son, that your maw
was too charitable to express her real
opinion of Mrs. Jones.
The Strenuous Life.
First Would-be Sport I'm getting
sleepy. Gness 111 go home and turn
Second Would-be Sport The Idea!
Why, It Isn't daylight yet
At the Eleventh Hour.
The Henchman I understand you
have decided to give op politics.
The Boss Yes, that's right I've
reached the age where man should
begin to lead an honest life.
Him Excuse me, but may I print
just one little kiss on your ruby tips,
Her No; 1 don't like yoor type.