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About The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 29, 1915)
1 I A POSITION FOR YOU tS I , , n I why he discarded fur cap I- '
POWFR There fc
8227 REASONS WHY YOU
Eiirht thmiuii I twn k. HlM.
JIT Ti, l
aunn ine oast twenty-eisrht
years. Hundreds . f them are now successful business men with
indenennent mmm fin- rr.j..u
from $40 to $100 a month. Writefor catalogue. Start NOW
Holmes Business College
"The School that gets you a good position."
"USE THE RIVER"
State of Wmhlrurton. for The Dalles daily n.
Sunday 11 p. m. Leave Dalles daily ex. Monday
12 M. Steamers J. N. Teal. Inland Empire and
Twin Cities for Upper Columbia and Snake river
Bointa. Taylor St. Dock. TeL Main 613.
WiHuMltt tai Columbia River Tswiaf it., Pertlaal
la no more necessary '
than Smallpox. Army
eniTlnr hat ri.niiM.Hl
uk wutun DiliatUIOUl CHI
Caey, and hannlessness, of Antityphoid Vaccloatlod.
Be vaccinated NOW by your physician, you and
tour family. It la more vital than bouse Insurance.
Ask your physician, druggist, or send for "Have
yon had Typhoid?" telling of Typhoid Vaccine,
results from use, and danger from Typhoid Carriers.
THE CUTTER LABORATORY, BERKELEY, CAL
MosuctNe VAcciNis a stauas vasts it. a. aov. ucsas
It Needed Explanation.
A KariBas Citian relates that recent
ly while ou a trip about the environs
of San Diego and Coronado beach In
a sight seeing motor car, the driver
pointed out various land holdings,
buildings, hotels, etc., as the property
of J. D. Spreckels Jr., the sugar mag
nate. Even the road over which they
bowled was privately owned by
Spreckels. As the car, following the
winding road, drew near the bay, a
little girl asked: "Mama, who owns
the bay?" Mama smiled and said,
"Why, dearie, God owns the bay."
"Well," said the puzzled child, "how
did he get it away from Mr. Spreck
els?" Judges' Wigs.
The wig is only worn by English
barristers to give them a stern, judi
cial appearance, and no one can say
that. It fails in this respect. The cus
tom was originated by a French judge
in the seventeenth century when, hap
pening to don a marquis' wig one day,
he found it gave him such a stern and
dignified appearance that he decided
to get one for himself and wear it at
all times in court. This he did, and
the result was so satisfactory from a
legal point of view that not only the
judges, but barristers also, took up
the custom throughout Europe. Lon
Constipation causes and seriously ag
gravates many diseases. It is thor
oughly cured by Dr. Pierce's Pellets.
Tiny sugar-coated granules.
"Willie, did you tie that tin can to
the dog's tail?"
"Yes, sir," replied the small boy.
"I'm trying to do a kind act every
day. That dog chases every rabbit he
Bees. I tied the can to him so that
it will make a noise and warn the rab
bit." Washington Star.
"I asked the boss for a raise to
day," said the elevator boy.
"What did he say?" asked his
Patent Office Documents.
If all the documents stored in the
patent office at Washington could be
placed end to end they would form a
strip that would reach around the
earth three times.
Customer I'm going to a masked
ball, and I want something that will
completely disguise me. Costumer
Certainly, sir. I will give you some
thing nice. Pele Mele.
Doors, Windows and
other Building Ma
Send us a list of what you require
for your buildings and we will name
you prices delivered at your station
and Guarantee to save you Money.
FOR OUT-OF-TOWN PEOPLE
Teopte from all parti of
Oregon and Washing
ton constantly visit our
office for dental treat
ment. Our skill Is ac
knowledged, and our
promptness In finish
ing work tn on day
when required io appre
ciated by out-of-town
Dr. Wis la a false
tooth expert. There Is
"ALWAYS ONE BEST"
in every calling, and
Dr. Wise lays claim to
this distinction in Ore
gon. 28 Ytsn' etriiaca
What we can't guar
antee wa don't do.
LOW PRICES FOR HIGH-GRADE WORE.
Good Red Robber Plato, each $S.M
The Best Red Rubber Plates, each 7.50
21-Karat Gold or Porcelain Crowm MO
WISE DENTAL CO.
RELIABLE PAINLESS DENTISTS.
Phones-Mai. t02, A 192.
12254 Third Street. Failing Bhif ., Portland, Oregua
& E. Car. Third Mid Washington.
C Gee Wo
Hli tucceosfuT herb
al remedies euro all
kinds of ailments of
men and women with
out operation, used
from the wonderful
Chine her be, roots.
buds and Yegetable. which are unknown to
the medical science of this country.
Write for blank and circulttra. Send stamp,
CONSULTATION FREE. Addresa
Tie C. Gee Wo Chinese Medicine Co.
102 First St. Portland. Ore.
P. N. U.
No. 43, Mil
iWBEN wrlllnf to tfvsjrUaw. aleaaa mm
tia this Mner.
"""""w inumng mevu uunti, ruMllUN
SHOULD ATTEND HOLMES
. a... . , ,
7 - y n 8ans'1M Btuuenra
Wuitfsa at Tentl, PtrtlaaJ, Or.
359 PEOFLE DAILY
Over 350 people succumb to con
sumption every day in the United States.
Science proves that the germs only
thrive when the system is weakened from
colds or sickness, overwork, confining
duties or when general weakness exists.
The best physicians point out that
during changing seasons the blood should
be made rich and pure and active by tak
ing Scott's Emulsion after meals. The cod
liver oil in Scott's Emulsion warms the
body by enriching the blood ; it peculiarly
strengthens the lungs and throat, while it
upbuilds the resistive forces of the body
to avoid colds and prevent consumption.
li you work indoors, tire easily, feel
languid or nervous, Scott's Emulsion is the
most strengthening food -medicine known.
It is totally free from alcohol or any
stupefying drug. Avoid substitutes,
14-U Scott & Bo true. Bloomficld. N. I.. J
He Could Wield an Ax.
The skill of the old Maine shlpbutld
era In the use of the adz and broadax
was wonderful. One old time yarn is
or a carpenter who applied very drunk
at a shipyard for employment. In or
der to have a little fun with him the
foreman set him to give a proof of his
skill by hewing out a wooden bolt with
no chopping block but a stone. The
carpenter accomplished his difficult
task without marring the keen edge of
the broadax and showed the foreman
a neatly made bolt. ,Then he brought
the ax down with a terrific blow that
shattered its edge upon the stone. "I
can hew fust rate on your chopping
block," he hiccoughed, "but I'll be
blamed if I can make the ax stick in
it when I git through." The story runs
that the foreman lost no time in em
ploying such a workman.
How to Heal
A Baltimore doctor suggests this
simple, but reliable and inexpensive,
home treatment for people suffering
with eczema, ring
worm, rashes and
similar itching, burn
ing skin troubles.
At any reliable
druggist's get a jar
of resinol ointment
and a cake of res
inol soap. These are not at all ex-
pensive. With the resinol soap and
warm water bathe the affected parts
thoroughly, until they are free from
crusts and the skin is softened. Dry
very gently, spread on a thin layer of
the resinol ointment, and cover with
a light bandage if necessary to pro
tect the clothing. This should be done
twice a day. Usually the distressing
itching and burning stop with the first
treatment, and the skin soon becomes
clear and healthy again. Sample free
"What I want to see," said Diogenes,
"Is an honest man."
"And when you see him, what will
"I'll simply go my way. A thorough
ly honest man generally has positive
opinions of his own, and, therefore, is
liable not to be very good company.1
"Your husband sends you very few
"That's all right. He sends me his
pay envelope every week." Louis
"Are you sure you thoroughly under
stand that question you attempted to
"No," replied Senator Sorghum:
"but I fancy I expressed myself In
terms sufficiently obscured to prevent
anybody else from taking enough in
terest to call me down." Washington
Tells How She Was Saved
by Taking Lydia E. Pink
Louisville, Ky. " I think if more suf
fering women would take Lydia E.
ble Compound the;
would enjoy better
health. I suffered
from a female trou
ble, and the doctors
decided I had a
and would have to
be operated upon,
but I refused as I da
not believe in onera-
tions I had fainting spells, bloated,
and could hardly stand the .pain in my
left side. My husband insisted that I
try Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound, and I am so thankful I did,
for I am now a well woman, I sleep
better, do all my housework and take
; long walks. I never fail to praiso Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for
! my good health. "-Mrs, J. M. Resch,
; 1900 West Broadway, Louisville, Ky.
j Since we guarantee that all tsstimc
, Dials which we publish are genuine, is it
not fair to suppose that if Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has tha
: Virtue to help these women it will help
' my other woman who is suffering in
like manner T
If you are 111 do not drag alone until
in operation Is nececsary, but at once
take Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Write to Lydia E. Plnkham
Medicine Co(confldentlal) Lynn,
Mass. Your letter wil be opened,
read and Answered by a woman
and held la strict confidence.
Br i - , - -
est wt sm:twmm 1 1
THE famed winter palace of the
Russian czar probably has seen
more romantic history In the
making than any other build
ing In Europe. The dramas
that have unfolded within Its walls
would overshadow, if told, the most
highly colored imaginings of politi
cal Hctionlsts, and the huge building
appears worthy of all the fascinat
ing memories which cling to it. For
generations Russia has reached out
from this home of the empire toward
ever more distant frontiers, toward
overy compass point, building the
sreatest of states. .The winter palace,
3 symbol of the empire, mayhap en
dangered by the present Teutonic In
vasion, is described in the following
statement Issued by the National Geo
Among the many palaces of Petro
grad, a city wherein dukes, grand
dukes, diplomats and millionaires
dwell in abundance, the czar's win
ter palace, a structure of truly Impe
rial Immensity, stands out unapproach
able. It is one of the world's largest
and most imposing buildings, and the
air of Its rooms and corridors Is sur
charged with the romance of history.
During the capital seasons In peace
times, the most brilliant court In Eu
rope could be seen here, when the
great rooms were ablaze with lights
and jewels, and filled with a splendid
display of gowns and uniforms.
Completed by Catherine.
The winter palace stands on the left
bank of the Neva, on a site bequeathed
to Peter the Great by bis high admiral,
Count Apraxin. The Empress Anne
first made her residence in the ad
miral's house, which ras pulled down
In 1754 and the foundations of the
winter palace laid. The building was
first completed in the reign of Cath
erine the Great.
The whole Interior of the palace
was destroyed by Are In December,
1837, when valuables estimated at
120,000,000 were consumed. It was
restored on an even more elaborate
scale in 1839. The structure is four
stories high, or about 80 feet, with a
frontage of 455 feet and a width ot
350 feet. The principal entrance, the
"Perron des Ambassadeurs," is from
the Neva river. ' Connected with the
winter palace is the heritage of Cath
erine the Great, where the renowned
queen played first Bohemian in a Bo
There Is a table hung on the walls
of tin palace, draped with a green cur
tain, which contains Queen Cath
erine's by-laws for the Hermitage soci
eties. They were:
"1. Leave your rank outside, as well
as your hat, and especially your sword.
2. Leave your right of precedence,
your pride, and any similar feeling out
side the door. 8. Be gay, but do not
spoil anything; do not break or gnaw
anything. 4. Sit, stand, walk as you
will, without reference to anybody.
5. Talk moderately and not very loud,
so as not to make the ears and beads
of others ache. 6. Argue without an
ger and without excitement 7. Nei
ther sigh nor yawn, nor make any
body dull or heav;-. 8. In all innocent
games, whatever one proposes, let
all join. 9. Eat whatever is sweet
and savory, but drink with modera
tion, so that each may find bis legs
on leaving the room. 10. Tell no
tales out of school; whatever goes In
at one ear must go out at the other
before leaving the room."
Good rules all, but rules difficult for
any but a queen to hold before her
friends. The penalty for breaking the
rules was the drinking of a glass ot
cold water for every offense. The
queen was most severe with those
who broke the tenth commandment;
they were never again admitted to the
hermitage, after being once found
guilty oi tittle-tattle.
When the Birds Wake Up.
An enthusiastic omltrfologlst has
amused himself by Investigating the
question at what hour In summer the
commonest small birds wake up and
sing. He says: "The greenfinch Is
the earliest riser, as it pipes as early
as half-past one In the morning. At
about half-past two the blackcap be
gins, and the quail apparently wakes
up half an hour later. It Is nearly
four o'clock and the sun Is well above
the horizon before the real songster
appears in the person of the blackbird.
He Is heard half an hour before the
thrush, and the chirp of the robin be
gins about the same length of time
before that of the wren. Finally, the
house sparrow and the tomtit occupy
the last place on the list"
This Investigation bas altogether
mined the lark's reputation for early
rising. That much-celebrated bird Is
quite a sluggard, as It does not rise
till long after chaffinches, linnets and
a number of hedgerow bird, have been
up and about for some time.
Japta Is the only orleatal country
l which sheet (lau Is manufactured.
An Immense square before the pal
ace gives It the proper dignity of set
ting. Within, it is Bald, 3,000 people
can dance under the blazing light crys
tals at one time, while 2,000 people can
be seated at the great dinner gather
ings. The palace Is a treasure house
of relics, jewels and paintings. One
of the finest collections of pictures in
Russia is hung on tin palace walls,
among them numerous excellent war
pictures. Among the jewels stored
here there Is a scepter with one of
the largest diamonds In Europe, 19
carats, the great Orloff diamond, which
was originally the eye of a lion that
crouched before the throne of the
When the czar Is In the vicinity of
his capital, the imperial standard
floats from the winter palaco flagstalf.
Petrograd, the City made to the or
der of Peter the Great to serve as
Russia's political capital, now prob
ably at higher tension than any other
city on earth, performing, as ever, the
work necessary to the administration
of church and state over vast dis
tances, from the Gulf of Finland to the
Black sea and the far Pacific, and, be
sides, taking care of a great war busi
ness, which includes planning for the
defense of more than 30,000 miles ot
frontier. This 30,000 miles of frorf
tier, of course, does not take Into ac
count the vaguely known northern
boundary of the empire.
Petrograd 's High Tension.
Petrograd has always been a high
tensioned city. It was constructed
upon islands and swamps at the be
hest ot a high-tension ruler; built with
wide, straight streets upon a perfect
ly flat country, with no softening nat
ural beauty except that of its dividing
Neva, a river that has often been com
pared to the English Thames. Even
the architecture of the city Is repres
sive, almost wholly of sternly chaste
classic Roman and Greek. And in
this city the primary business has
been that of caring for a vast empire,
embracing in its far-reaching sweep
many peoples, numerous religions, di
verse traditions, a confUBlon of
tongues, and widely varying Ideals.
The responsibilities of government
have held the city as tense as when
Its founder, with 40,000 workmen,
drained the Neva swamps and builded
overnight his capital hard upon the
lands of the Finns.
Petrograd la the greatest importing
center of the empire, A great part
of the products of Europe which find
their way to the bleak northern plain
are entered at the mouth of the Neva,
and this despite the fact that the
port Is icebound five months of the
year. It has, too, some Industry, though
its surrounding region Is not rich in
any of the raw materials of Industry,
Some 200,000 ot Its men and women
normally are employed In manufac
ture, In the machine and Iron works,
in the ship yards, in the cloth fac
tories, shoe factories, and cigarette
factories, that stand on the outskirts
of the city, around the Finland sta
There Is a certain stern beauty In
the capital. The broad, arrowlike
Nevsky Prospect Is fully as Interest
ing as any ot the world's famous thor
oughfares. It Is a business street,
some three miles long, lined with
shops ot average appearance, churches
representing Greek, Protestant and
Catholic religions, bank buildings, the
public library, the Imperial theater, a
garden, and some dark red palaces.
The remarkably diversified life of the
remarkable empire flows In a never
ending stream along this avenue.
What Did She Care?
Cleopatra dissolved the pearl.
"But," we warned her, "think how
many oysters you will have to eat
to find another." Judge.
Lack of Education.
Tou are not really well educated If
you do not possess the knowledge
which Is essential In making a home
what It ought to be. The girl who
would stand aghast If asked to build
a fire In the kitchen range, and would
be as helpless to prepare a dinner or
Iron a shirtwaist, as If she were called
upon to translate from the Hebrew,
bas serious lacks In her education
Rings of Saturn,
Kecont spectroscopic analysis of
Saturn's rings Indicates that they are
composed ot solid matter, probably
dust, that Is, nebular matter which has
passed through Its liquid to solid form,
and Is now furnishing that planet with
a duBtllke material similar to that
of the earth during the quaternary pe
The Reason Wherefore.
"Do yon notice that these royal
people always have their pictures
taken carrying an umbrella?"
"That Is probably because theyre
accustomed to a continued reign."
Veteran Gamekeeper Abandoned Ex
pensive Headgear Because It In
terfered With His Hearing.
A Brockville man, who has a home
In Scotland to which he returns in
the winter, bought an expensive fur
cap in this country to give to his
gimekeeper. Two years ago last win
ter he took it over and presented
it to the old man who was delighted
The cap was very serviceable, hav
ing flaps that came down over the
ears, and would wear about a life
time. The next winter the American
returned to Scotland and noticed to
his surprise that the old man did not
wear the fur cap.
"What is the matter with the cap I
gave you last winter?" he asked.
'I haven't worn It since the acci
dent," replied the gamekeeper.
The man from Brockville pondered.
"You didn't write me concerning
any accident, he said.
'No?" mused the gamekeeper. "A
mon offered me a glass of whisky
and I didn't hear him." Everybody's
The adjutant was lecturing to the
subalterns ot the battalion.
"In the field," he said, "it is now In
cumbent upon an officer to make him
self look as much like a man as pos
sible." Everybody laughed.
"That is, I mean," he explained, "as
much like a Boldler as possible."
Maude Jack Bays he loves to study
Helen But I thought he was a stu
dent of nature.
"I've tried every way I can think ot
to make friends with our Janitor, but
he is still cruBty."
"I'll give you a friendly tip."
"I happen to know that your janitor
used to be a private in the army. Call
him 'major.' "
The New Way.
"Officer, why don't you arrest this
man? I told you he tried to pick my
"Just a minute, sir. I have sum
moned our precinct expert to look him
over. We can't take chances on ar
resting a man for picking pockets who
may be merely suffering from para
"I hope," said the earnest citizen,
"that you will be careful not to rock
"Rock the boat!" echoed the reck
less person. "I'd never think of Buch
trifling. It I want to play a trick In
that line, I take an oar and stave a
hole In the bottom."
Often the Case.
Smith Is your church supported by
voluntary contributions, Brother
Elder Black (of the colored church)
No, sah, by involuntary contribu
tions. Bah! It's jes like pullln' teeth
to get money outer that congregation,
The Female of the Species.
"Without woman," remarked the fair
suffragette, "this world would be like
a sheet of blank paper,"
"How's that?" queried tin shoe
"Not even ruled," answered the fe
male ot the spee'es.
He Has It Coming.
"She doesn't like the way her hus
band is carrying on with those young
"What makes you think soT She
seems pleasant enough."
"I know, but she Just tossed him
that 'wait till I get you home' look."
"What are you reading so Intently?"
"Balzac. I have to post up on Bal
zac because my beau Is Interested In
Balzac. Don't you ever post up on
the things which interest your beau?"
"I don't have to," answered the other
girl. "My beau Is Interested In me."
"What I dislike about Twobble is
his lofty condescension."
"He's not to blame for that."
"I don't see why."
"In his early days Twobble was a
Madge So you feel better since yov
gave up dancing and devoted yourBOlt
to Red Cross work?
Marjorle Indeed, I do, my dear.
I've had my name In the papers nine
"It seems paradoxical, doesn't It?"
"Time usually hangs heaviest on the
hands ot people who woar wrist
Not In His Line.
Nutley Doctor, there seems to be
something the matter with my head.
Doctor (after an examination)!
am unable to locate the trouble. You
hart better consult a wheelrlgbt.
under all State and National Pure
Food Laws. You can pay a
higher price, but you cannot get
a baking powder that will raise
nicer, lighter biscuits, cakes and
pastry, or that is any more
Your money back if K C fails to
please you. 1 ry a can at our nsk.
Women Triumph In Kansas.
Out in Kansas where they strive to
please, the women ought to have small
cause for complaint if it Is possible to
deprive the sex of that inalienable
Here are some of the things a wo
man of the Sunflower Btate may legal
Can take back her maiden name af
ter her husband iB dead, without any
legal process or legislative act.
Can keep her own name when she
Can persuade her husband to take
her name and give up his family name
if she does not like it.
Can keep her maiden name and her
husband can keep his.
Can retain her maiden name for bus
iness transactions and use her hus
band's name for social affairs.
If wife does not like either her own
or husband's family name they can
change to a name that does suit.
A woman can wear men's clothing
without any restriction except that she
must not pose as a man.
She can vote at every election.
She can hold any office In the state
and run for congress.
As Kansas probably puts It, a wo
man there can do almost anything a
man can. That's so. The men's cloth
ing provision even permits her to
scratch a match as some men do. Only
tning Bne seems debarred from is "pos
ing as a man," which is Impossible, of
course, for most of them, at least.
To Breal: In New Shoes.
Always shake In Alhm'it
ft cures hot, sweating aeliln,;, swollen leet.'
Luros corns, iiigrowinic nails and bunions. Al
siiurugRisis anu snoeKirres, 2',r, Dont accept
tnysubstitule. Sarapletnallcd FltLi; Address
alien 8. Olmsted, Us W N. Y. uu
Bishop in a Bad Fix.
The well beloved bishop of a certain
southern state Is so absent-minded
that his family is always apprehensive
for his welfare when he is away from
Not long ago, while making a jour
ney by rail, the bishop was unable to
find his ticket when the conductor
asked for it.
"Never mind, bishop," said the con
ductor, who knew him well, "I'll get
it on my second round."
However, when the conductor pass
ed through the car again the ticket
was still missing.
"Oh, well, bishop, It will be all right
if you never find it," the conductor
"No, it won't, my friend," contradict
ed the bishop. "I've got to find that
ticket. I want to know where I'm go
ing." A Bad Stomach
Is a Foe to
Nearly all illness has its
origin in a weak Stomach
and clogged bowels. Your
food remains undigested
and you are deprived of
its health sustaining
properties. Weakness and
a general rundown condi
tion soon overtake you
Ba wise in time and pro
vide proper aid, which
suggests a fair trial of
His Mild Request.
"My dear," he began mildly.
"Well," she snapped.
"I don't mind your borrowing my
Panama hat. But when you return It
please remove the veil and the hat
pins. I don't care to wear such equip
ment downtown again." Louisville
The Reasonable Excuse.
"You say you had your eyes open,
with a good grip on the wheel and
your foot on the brake?"
"Then how In Tophet did the acci
"Easy. I bad to sneeze." Case and
The Only Drawback.
"The de Vorces would be ideally
married If It were not for one thing."
"The fact that they are married to
each other." Judge.
n PIMPLES If ACHES Fl
M BOILS U CHILLS W
CARBUNCLES E3 PAINS
Are 'Danger Signals 'the human system's method of giving warn
ing that the blood has become impoverished and circulation poor.
In this condition the human body is nlmost powerless to resist the
more senous illneta. Don't delay. You need
Golden Medical Discovery
It gets to work Immediately at the teat of your trouble tbe Stomaoh.
It lends a helping hand. Helps to digest tha food. Tone op the stomach.
Soon bring! back normal conditions. Fond la properly assimilated ami
turned Into rich, red blood. Every organ la strengthened and every tiaau
Made from roots taken from eur great nmerlcan fnresU. Try this
remedy now. Sold by Medicine Dealera in liquid or tablet form or laud Wo
to Dr. Pierce's Invalids Hotel, buffalo, N. Y., for trial box.
Ye ean lave ttie complete "Medical Adviser" ef IMS aseta-clottl
wimmm u swsMuog ur. rierce
Couldn't Forget It.
"Saturday night some miscreant lug
ged off a whole cord of my wood, and
somehow I can't forget it," declared
"Have you tried to forget It?" In
quired his friend.
"Yea. Sunday morning I went to
church, hoping I could get it off my
mind, and before I had been there five
minutes the choir started in singing
'The Lost Chord' so I got out. "-Judge.
Leader' 'and " Repeater' 'and
make a killing combina
tion for field.fowl or trap
shooting. No smokeless
powder shells enjoy such
a reputation for uniform
ity ofloading and strong
shooting qualities as
"Leader" and "Repeater"
brands, do, and no
shotgun made shoots
harder or better than
THEY ARB MAD! FOR EACH OTHER
He Saved the Patent Office.
When In the war of 18)2 the British
who had taken Washington, trained
their guns upon the patent office Dr.
Thornton, throwing himself directly
before the guns, cried:
"Are you Englishmen or Goths and
Vandals? This is the patent office a
depository of the Ingenuity and Inven
tions of the American nation in which
the whole civilized world is Interested.
Would you destroy It? Then let the
charge pass through my body."
And the building was spared. Twenty-four
years afterward, however, It
was destroyed by fire, together with
everything tn it. ,
The Tibetan penal code la curious.
Murder Is punished with a fine vary
ing according to the Importance of the
slain, theft by a fine of seven to one
hundred times the value of the article
stolen. Here, again, the flue depends
on the social Importance ot the person
from whom the theft has been commit
ted. The harborer of a thief is looked
upon as a worse criminal than the
thief himself. Ordeals by fire and by
boiling water are still used as proofs
of innocence or guilt, exactly as was
the custom in Europe In the middle
ages. And If the lamas never Inflict
death they are adepts at torture.
Knew the Business.
The leading druggist In a certain
suburb wanted an apprentice. One
applicant for the situation had been
employed tn a fish Blore, but he seem
ed a likely lad.
"Your handwriting's good enough,"
said the druggist. "Can you do men
"Yes, sir," replied Ihe lad.
"W what would 34 pounds of sal
mon at 8 cents a pound be?"
"Bad, sir!" was 'the prompt an
swer. An Old Accomplishment.
"That wife of mine Is a great one
for fads; her latest ts firing china,"
Bald the young married man.
"That was one of the first ones my
wife had," the older man said.
"Oh, I Blmply adore Meredith and
Browning and Henry James," said the
gushing young person.
"So do I," said little Blnks. "They
are perfectly delightful. It's like send
ing your mind to a gymnasium. Er
do you read them In the original?"
New York Times.
sic lor wrappua aasi