An Old Man's
Stratagem
By FRANK FILSON
(Copyright, 191S, by W. a. Chapman.)
Phillips' theory wai that It wa
better to be king of a village than the
second ruler of New York. No lest
an authority than Julius Caesar had
said that before him, In a slightly dif
ferent shape; but Caesar didn't have
to prove It, and Phillips did.
He spent his vacation In a little vil-
be said, but I heard Phillips' snort
of contempt,
"Can you fight?" Ned domanded
next
"I can whip a dozen, like you," Phil
lips retorted.
Then I'm going to thrash you on
general principles," said Ned, and I
could hardly keop from clapping my
hands and crying "bravo!"
Miss Dorothy bad bardly recovered
from her surprise when the two were
at It, hammer and tongs. .
I had not expected Phillips to put
up much of a fight, but It was a case
of Ned doing his best to stop Phil-
llpps' rushes. After the first minute
Phillips knocked Ned down, and, when
he got up Phillips lot him have It
again. Ned didn't get home more
than once, and In the end Ned was,
stretched out upon the ground, half
unconscious. It had been Phillips
from beginning to end, and be han
dled his flats In a very creditable way.
I suppose it was fear of the public-
lage In the Catskllls, where the girls L but b tb(j whe thfl gr, gtood
from the department stores went. It
was a quiet sort of place, and the
quieter sort of girls went there. Phil'
llps's vacation unfortunately touted a
month.
With a succession of young wom
en coming and going, Phillips, being a whQ g)t th)J thra8hlng.
genueman in appearance ana uu.B Ha(, enough7 Bneered
l):uiiiy 01 money, was in ius tuuiueuk
there like a statue, and never moved
or spoke. Nobody saw me, and I felt
pretty badly to see how my plot had
miscarried. Because my idea had
been to show the girl what a coward
Phillips was, and, Instead, it was Ned
He flirted with all and each, indlscrim-
Inately. Naturally, he created a good
deal of enmity at the little hotel. Any
one can do that, but Phillips thought
he was a lady-killer. '
I used to watch him from the porch
and I wished I were thirty years
younger. I should have enjoyed noth
lng better than to take the young
blackguard by the collar and trounce
him soundly. Of course people set out
to enjoy themselves, but Phillips had
planned It all out before. Besides, the
man was outrageous with bis dude
clothes and his generally offensive air.
Dut It was none of my business, and
1 watched the affairs with three or
four of the girls to whom Phillips
swore eternal devotion until It came
to Dorothy Raines. That set my back
up badly.
Dorothy was the niece of the hotel
keeper, and In the summer she helped
in the hotel. In the winter, I believe,
Phillips,
standing over Ned. Ned groaned; he
couldn't raise himself from the ground.
If this brute has bad his leBSon,
let us continue our-, walk, Miss
Raines," suggested Phillips.
And suddenly the girl turned on
blra with flashing eyes.
'You brute I" she cried. "How dare
youl How dare you fight a man weak
er than yourself! Go away at once!
Do you hear me?" She stamped ber
foot like a fury.
The next moment she was kneeling
at Ned's side, calling him all the en-
dearlng terms In her vocabulary. Her
arms were round him, and with ber
skirt she began sponging away the
blood that covered his face. "Forgive
me, Ned," she was sobbing.
I went away then, because I real
ized that I had no business there,
Cut It BeemB strange to me; I bad
thought a woman loved strength in a
man, but It Ned had beaten Phillips
"X wWMM
m&t mm
ls.EA.
MKEI
POCK.5 OF ANTtVLR
w
ITH its fifty-mile circle of
fortifications the wealthy
city of Antwerp Is like a
bull's-eye of old gold in the
midst of a ringed target. The
he would have lost her forever. It
she taught in the local school. I had gort ot upset my ideas and at my successive and extending arcs of mod
gone there several successive sum-Lea one doesn't like that. ern and obsolete fortresses (Ant
mers, and I knew she was engaged to Philling denarted the next moraine werp Is not completely encircled)
he finest of the young fellows of by eariy traD Bn(j i imagine he won't have almost traced the history of de-
show bis face up this way in a hurry tensive warfare. The Antwerp ions
again. Dorothy and Ned are to be have gradually been pushed outward
married in October and I've been from the site of the ancient city
asked to stay on and be best manj stormed by the Northmen in the ninth
It's curious; I Bhould think Ned would century to the outer line of Lierre, be
never want to see me again after K-essei, De iirthrana ana many otners,
that beatina. But I buddosb ha con- held to be Impregnable until the au
alders all roads good ones that lead to tumn of 1914- Tnls llne of ,ort8 w,tn
on view a number of beautiful pic
tures, of which the most famous is
Rubens' "Descent From the tross.
The Elevation of the Cross" and The
Dorothy,
Making a Life Mask.
A well-known New Yorker entertain
ing some friends at dinner showed
them bis life mask, then told them
with feeling bow the mask had been
made. "They put me In a chair," he
said, "tied a towel around my head,
plugged my ears with greased wool
and stuck a quill in each nostril. 'Shut
your eyes,' said the workman, drawing
near with a ladle and a large steaming
tureen of pink plaster of parts of the
the military dikes upon the languid
River Scheldt, has guarded for some
years the most Important arsenal of
Belgium, as well as what was consid
ered the chief city of refuge for the
Belgian army.
But Antwerp is far more than a
strategic point. The "pistol aimed at
England" is not a weapon alone. Ant
werp at the outbreak of the war was
one of the most Important seaports
in Europe. It formed one of the chief
outlets for German and Belgian com
merce. Not only Is it close enough to
the British Isles for its possession by
consistency of thick soup; and be
slapped the Btuft on my face in great an enemy to menace England, but its
ladlefulB. I could feel it running down vast docks, begun by Napoleon, who
Phillips Thought H. Was a
Killer.
Lady-
the town Ned Walker. In fact, she
bad confided to me that they meant to
get married that fall.
my collar and over my chest Just as
soup would have done. I motioned
with my hands wildly. The man
laughed. 'That's all right, boss,' he
said, and kept slapping the hot, horri
ble, slimy stuff upon me. He stopped
when my face was incaBed in a half-
devoted 2,000,000 francs to the pur
pose, have an area of more than six
hundred acres, and in all of their fa
cilities are the most modern in the
world. The shipping of this city,
counting export and import bottomB
separately, has exceeded 20,000,000
inch coat ot plaster. He told me It tons a year, while Antwerp's annual
would harden in a few minutes. It
did. but the minutes were awful. As
When Phillips spotted her I bad to the plaster dried it seemed to shrink,
admit that his taste was good. Dor- shrinking my skin with it. And the
othy would have been a belle if she heat of the thing! And the difficulty
naa neen toggea up msieau or wear m breathing througn tne quills stucK ana carpet manufacturers whose
lng her simple waist ana sum or vu- m my nostrils! Then very carefully, BnnA hnwd nn fln n nnii th
lage mane. ui uoroiuy was a weui VBry slowly ne drew tne naraenea cast for centuries they were shipped
imports have run in excess of $500,-
000,000,
The city has been the home of dla
mond cutters and lace makers, of gold
and silver merchants, of clgarmakers
to
Persia, the home of rug weaving, as
well as to Arabia and India of com
mercial magnates and ship owners
whose wealth at one time was a by
word In all of the civilized world, and
of various guilds and trades that are
it
girl, and the thought of Phillips win- (rom my face. I gripped the chair
ning her heart from Ned and then go- armg an(j shrieked."
lng complacently away was too much
. . ... Thrlft-
. vn couibo mo a... u.u . w.,...v.u. Qeneraiiy speaking, thrift is not
open admiration of the city man. Dor- . .lh . . ,hlW ,lnnn ,..
othy wasn't experienced enough to be ,a . th ' m-wit nf mum. do longer in existence. Above all.
able to distinguish the gold from the matter of deilcat0 ana intentional has been the home of artists, and
glitter, and Ned hadn't the alra and lpQmt vv ,... - maum. manv of the works of the old masters
.graces of that man Phillips. Day by poBed obiigatlon with a definite pur- have been treasured in the Royal mu-
day I watched the progress of the pQBe lQ ylew And wlthftli to reacll Seum. Van Dyck, Jordaens, Rubens,
flirtation. Ned noticed it too. One ths max(mum of e(fective accomplish- Quentln Matsys, the Tenlers, father
evening there was a quarrel, and pres- ment Ulere mUfJt be a penaUy which and son, Cornelius de Vos and Seghers
ently Dorothy came round in front ot gently but firmly and constantly, In- are among the many names of artists
xne porcn. ana nr ej woi iou, (,gU upon thfl reguar observance of on the roll of Antwerp's residents.
u sne naa ueeu B.jiug. .aw "iDU Ull those factors which contribute to
slouch moodily away, and a few mln- ,a .,,,. .-.. That in in et.
utes later the girl and Phillips were tng ,nt0 debt one realizes the sense of
laming logemer ui tue umcr uu u, obllgatlon( prtde lB at gtaUe, and cer-
tne porcn. taln geif-denlals are made to effect a
Ned was an old friend of mine, and gav,ng an(J meet the paymetB aa ar.
me ne oay i uau a low wu. u rangod. The reBuU i8 a distinct gain,
THE MAGIC ROCK.
Once upon a time there was a little
old woman who lived in a little old
house. Sbo bad a little dog and a
little old pig.
People called ber a witch, but If
she was, Bhe was a good witch, for
she loved the dog and pig very much,
and sometimes you could hear ber
singing to the pig;
You shall have a silver pall
And a ribbon for your tall.
And the pig would say "Ugh, Ugh,"
as if he understood. And then she
would sing again:
You shall have a feather bed,
And a pillow for your bead.
And the pig would answer "Ugh"
again. Then she would sing to the
dog:
Doggie, you shall have a collar ot gold
And eat your food from a silver bowl.
And the dog would say "Bow wow."
Not very far from the old lady who
lived In the little old bouse with the
little old dog and the little old pig
lived a little girl named Margaret,
with ber sister Sarah. Margaret was
a pleasant girl, but Sarah was dis
agreeable and cross. They were very
poor, and Margaret would tell Sarah
that some day they would be fortu
nate, but Sarah was cross because she
could not have pretty dresses and live
in a big house,
One day Sarah was very cross, and
Margaret was feeling sad, and stood
by the gate, crying, when the old lady
came along with the little old dog and
the little old pig.
"What are you crying about? she
asked.
Margaret told her.
"Dry your tears," she said, "and
Tonight at 12 o clock
Margaret emptied out half, of the gold
and gave it to Sarah, who was very
much pleased and surprised. Then
Margaret hurried to the little old
house, where the little old lady lived
with the little old dog and the little
old pig, and gave the little old lady
the cane, and the gold collar for the
little old dog and the ribbon for the
tall of the little old pig.
The little old lady was bo pleased
that she danced around the room and
the little old dog ran aftor her barking
"Bow-wow," and the little old pig fol
lowed, grunting "Ugh, ugh." Marga
ret was very bappy because the little
old lady and Lor little old animals
were pleased, and when she reached
home her Bister met her at the door
and kissed her. "I have been a very
selfish girl," she told Margaret, "but
I will try to do better in the future,
and I shall live here with you, and not
spend my money for clothes." And
they lived in peace and plenty ever
after.
MAKING HUT OF BRUSHWOOD
Lean Pole Against Tree, Then Thatch
It With Branches Thicker the
Roof, Cooler the Tent.
A very simple but can be made by
cutting a pole and leaning it against
a tree, binding its end there; then
GIVES STMSr Ml
Radiation Pyrometer Is Most Re
markable Invention.
Can Measure the Hest of Plants Mil
lion of Miles Away Has Most
Delicate Battery Ever
Constructed.
It may not mean much to you to be
told a machine has been Invented that
can measure the heat of the Btara
millions of miles away, but when the
proposition Is given In terms of famil
iar things one, In a measure, appreci
ates the marvel of the contrivance.
Suppose a German soldier, thinking
himself shielded from observation,
struck a match to light his pipe, but
that a three-foot reflector, on a moun
tain 53 miles away, caught his image
with the little flaming light then,
with a marvelous instrument, would
the observer be able to tell exactly
the heat of the flame.
An Easily Made Hut.
Heat-Measuring Instrument.
Then, according to Motley, "every
statue was hurled from its niche, every
picture torn from the wall, every won
derfully painted window Bhlvered to Ilgtan , me
atoms, every ancient monument shat- w lk do n th6 road untll vou come t0
tered, every sculptural decoration, a tree wnere an old owi jg gaying
however innocent In appearance, ,Wh0i who . Take the patn by that
hurled to the ground." tree and follow it along through the
Nearly three hundred years were re- woods until you reach a big rock.
quired for the building of this great Tap on the rock three times and re-
monument. Within it there have been peat this:
'Open, rock at break of day;
To what I ask do not say nay.'
"Then you must ask tor the things
you want, and wait for the break of
Sirlus, the "celestial furnace," being
thatch it with branches or brush- 40 times hotter than the sun, and hav
wood. 1 lng an atmosphere of glowing hydro-
Wbere you have no poles available gen, la so far away that its stupendous
you can do as the South African na- beat cannot affect any known thing
tives do pile up a lot of brushwood, save the magical meter of W. W. Cob-
bushy stuff, etc., into a small wall lentz of the United States bureau of
made in semicircle, to keep out the standards, who demonstrated his ln-
wlnd, and make your fire in the open ventlon at the Lick observatory, Mount
part. Hamilton, Cal. It is called a radiation
If your tent or hut is too hot in the pyrometer and the thermo-electric
sun, put blankets or more straw, etc., battery used is, perhaps, the most del
over the top. The thicker the roof the icate ever constructed,
cooler the tent in Bummer. If it is Mr. Coblentz measured the heat that
too cold make the bottom of the wall reaches the earth from 112 celestial
thicker or build a Bmall wall of sods bodies, including 105 stars. If even
about a foot high round the foot of Sirius were as near to the earth as
the wall outside. Never forget to dig the sun, our poor little planet would
a good drain all round your , but, so shrivel up In the heat, a glowing-hot
that if heavy rain falls in the night sphere, which would finally dissolve
Assumption," also by Rubens, were day but if you are asleep when day your floor will not get flooded from into the dust of ashes.
outside. The vital part of the instrument is a
hanging there last month. The catne- broaks the spell will be broken. A
dral also contains tne tomDsione 01 fairy told thla to m6i but I am too old
Christopher Plantln, who was com
pelled nine times to ransom his print
ing establishment, that Is still intact
in the Plantln museum, in tne soutn
western quarter of old Antwerp. The
stained glass of Notre Dame Is com
paratively modern, owing to the out
rages ot the Iconoclasts. Its tower,
rising to a height of more than four
hundred feet, is a prominent feature
for miles in a flat country. In the
Place Verte, before the cathedral,
there is a bronze statue of Rubens.
Tho organ of the cathedral is the
largest in all Belgium,
So many are the interesting old
buildings of Antwerp and the number
of treasures contained in them that
the barest outline of them can be
given here. Besides the cathedral and
the Musee Plantln there are the Hotel
de Ville, the Royal museum and the
churches of St. Paul, St. Jacques, Bt,
Andrew and St. Augustine, erected in
the fifteenth, sixteenth and Beven
teenth centuries. The Royal museum,
while modern in structure, has ( en
the home of so many art treasures
that it has become one of the best-
known buildings in the world. The
collection of old masters numbers
more than eight hundred priceless
to walk such a long distance, and, be-
Zulus make their huts by planting in thermal battery made by Joining two
the ground a circle of long whippy wires of different metals either platl
sticks standing upright, then they num and silver or bismuth and silver
bend the tops all down towards the and covering the Junction with a heat
center and tie them together, then absorbing surface painted with lamp
they weave more whippy sticks black.
around, in and out ot the uprights The wire used is so fine that it can
horizontally, until they have made a scarcely be seen without the aid of a
kind of circular bird cage; this they reading glass and the absorbing Bur
then cover with a straw mat or face is about the size of a pinhead.
thatch, or with straw woven on to This battery Is inclosed in a glass
the sticks. Sometimes a small hole cell with a window of fluorite. A
is left at the top where all the stickB vacuum is maintained in the cell, and
Join, to act as a chimney. it is placed in a telescope so that the
light of the star to be observed is to-
WHAT CLUB BOYS ARE DOING c,1!f.ed "pon.th' """te windo
l UO LIU J VBUCI J 1 Wl IUQI uiwvwuj
A Big Lion Put Out His Head and
Roared at Her.
sides, 1 have all I need, and am con
tent"
Now, Sarah heard what the old
witch told Margaret, and that night
he locked her in the house and went
. ,. . . 1. VtaKCAlF QI.a tnnna it
pa.nung., ut "'" '" ""T"" three time, and said:
thy are he works by Rubens, Titian. 0peUi rock of day.
van uycK, van ayca, . . . .
w i Tr n n si ' -
urans riais, van ur "-r Th.n .h. .m '! lo nf
Hans Holbein.
Ancient Hotel da Villa,
money, pretty clothes and' a hig house,
and a coach and four black horses.
Dakota Youth Made Net Profit of
$8.00 on Setting of Eggs Good
Result! Obtained With Corn.
In South Dakota one poultry club
boy made a net profit ot $8.00, based
on a setting ot 15 eggs.
The state agent for Utah reports
28.75 as the highest net profit cov
ering the season, while Oregon re
ports $50 over the same period,
In the clubs that have raised corn
and pigs Jointly, some good results
have been obtained,
A pork and crop production boy ol
Minnesota made (118 net profit tor
the season from nine pigs and an acre
of corn. His corn yielded 95 bushels
to the acre.
In Utah, where conditions are not
nearly so favorable, the boys did well,
one member making $31.56 as a re-
Is connected with a tangent galvanom
eter, which is inclosed in an armor
ot soft Swedish iron to protect it from
extraneous magnetic Influences.
Thus the amount of current gene
rated in the thermo-couple by the heat
ot the star is measured by the galva
nometer. Within the galvanometer a
mirror smaller than a pinhead is sus
pended upon a fine thread of spun
quartz.
Some distance In front of the win
dow in the galvanometer a scale is
set up with a strong light upon it. This
scale is reflected in the little mirror,
which is observed through a microscope.
There is a tiny dot upon one side of
the face of the mirror. The genera
tion of current in the thermo couple
causes the quarts thread to twist, turn
ing the mirror from side to-side, and
The Hotel de Ville. built toward the She lay down by the side of the rock LTmagef TSS
,d of the sixteenth century by Cor- and took -p. and was awake b Bhowea , yleld of 86.75 buBhels. reflected mag of the sea, a
And
nelius de Vrienat, was aestroyea in i u m u,. Uu PracticaUy ali of the Sugar Beet
nori hv the SDanlards during the light came, she saw the rock open, I . . . , tTtoh ,, r.
Spanish Fury of 1766, when more than and a big lion put out his bead and oradQ The BUte agent m chRrge Q,
six thousand citizens were put to the roared at hor. She ran as fast as utah rtg 2534 ton()
0110 wuiu, niiu uiu uuv, Diup ulliii duo
ilm.
r "Ned," I said, "if you had been cut
out fairly I wouldn't waste much sym
pathy on you. But that blackguard is
only amusing himself. That's his tun
He wants to break her heart and then
go back to the city. I've watched him
try it on Borne ot the other girls here.
Ned, be a man!"
I "I'd like to thrash the fellow t" said
Ned, doubling bis fists.
; "Why don't you?" I asked, looking
at his husky build. "It would do him
good. And it would show MIbs Dor
othy who's the batter man.
"I can't thrash a fellow for taking
my girl away," said Ned. "It's up to
me to keep her,
"That's true," I answered, "but
thrash him for being a blackguard
Thrash him on general principles,
Ned.'
"What's that?" aBked Ned; and I
tried to explain. I painted Phillips'
character as it appeared to me. "Are
Cathedral and Its Pictures.
The city of Antwerp is one of the
most Interesting not only in Belgium
but in the entire world. It has been
reduced by fire and sword on many oc
casions, but In spite of its various ca
lamities there have been preserved a
number of priceless old buildings. The
xnthflilrnl nf Notre Dame Is one ot the
Hints on Longevity. ... .nnmi., Q Oc-thlc architec-
The other day an etghty-one-year- tur8 ,n the Nothorlands. Through all
the violent scenes that have taken
place about its walls it has beon
if the debt was properly incurred.
old man said tliat since he stopped
taking baths, which was some years
back, his health had been better. An
other Santa Claus ot the same age
attributed his wonderful physical con
dition to Turkish baths. "I eat every
thing from mince pie to tried salt
pork," he Bald. "I've drunk rum and
whiskey when I felt like it I v
smoked and chewed tobacco. And
want to tell you that there's nothing
spared by the various armies that
have desolated the city. The one ex
ception to its Immunity came in the
violent revolution against the Roman
Catholic faith in the sixteenth contury.
sword, and the Antwerp burghers
were hanged by dozens In various
parts of the town. The building was
restored in 1581, and since then has
been unharmed. In it are the burgo
master's room, with its beautifully
carved chimney piece and various val
uable paintings that depict the his
toric events of the city,
Now, as we know or at least as we
have been taught to believe heat is
a mode of motion. So is sound. Which
prompts Mark Telfair to ask in this
onnncwttnn: "If we tiiftv detect and
reached home. Then she unlocked , f J m ?. measure heat from sources millions of
the door and let her sister quL tb Wbt net profit Five hundred ml,eg awayi why may we not, by the
"You can go to the rock, it you a"u i""---' 'uu aid of such wizards as Edison ana Bell,
like," she said, "but I will warn you DUU , ' be placed in possession ot an mswu-
that you will find a Hon, who will eat
you If he catches you.
This did not frighten Margaret, and
tho next night at midnight she walked
down the road. "Who, who," said
and an average net profit of $37.60.
ment as wonderful as the radiation
pyrometer which would transmit to us
the sounds from the planets which
Wasn't She Right?
The lesson in natural history had mav hftVe tremendous human acttvl-
been about the rhinoceros, and the Lies T Anil who can deny that there
On the Urana pmce, wnere me no- . . (lw Bfh . teacher wanted to Know now well ma Bro nnt other Inhabited snheres?"
tei ae vine is "'" old !ady told her. When she came to lesson naa Deen learneu.
homes of those forerunners of the la .. . . . , th .. .-Now, name something," she said,
Water Cars In Milan.
The streets of Milan are watered
yoi going to let Miss Dorothy's heart from the elcctrlo tram cars. On these
let broken?" I inquired. "Of course
you'll win her back afterward. But
is the game worth the candle, looking
at it from the woman's viewpoint?
"No, sir," said Ned, and I knew that
be bad made up bis mind.
I saw the two together most of the
day, and I wondered when Ned would
bring oft his coup. He chose the best
time after dinner. They were walk
ing In the grounds, and I suppose I
had no business to follow Ned when
I saw bim go after them; but I want
ed to Bee Dorothy's ves opened, and
that is my only excuse for what I
did.
I saw Ned go up to the couple and
peak to Phillips. I don't know what
Made Jack Sweat.
While enjoying the new-found bliss
better for the nerves ar.d general of the honeymoon a doting bridogroom
health than chewing tobacco. I'm as hired a tandem bicycle and took his
sound as a dollar and as spry as a bride for an afternoon s rounuauvmi
kitten." Isn't this enough to harrow run. The fair lady knew little or
up the soul and freeze the blood of I nothing about wheeling. The lono.
modern expert on "right living?" husband got his neaa uou
plugged along as nara as B'"v
slave every inch of the 33 miles, and
when they got to tho Journoy'8 end
the perspiration was streaming from
evory pore in his anatomy. But not
so his charming wife. She stood by
as cool and uueoncorned as possible,
and when the poor benedict had recov
ered his breath a mtie, juuge m ...
toolings when she gingerly touched
one ot the pedals and sweetly in
quired: "Oh, Jack, what are these
little twirligigs ior i-
Would Retaliate.
It was in a country barber's shop,
and a farmer with a week's growth ot
stubby beard had seated himself in a
chair to have hia whiskers cropped.
'Guess you'll have a time gittin them
off." bo remarked, aa the barber be
gan rubbing on the lather. "Oh, I
watering cars reservoirs have been
adapted to the platforms and these
reservolsr are emptied as the car
runs, by means of perforated tubes
placed fan shape at the front and
back of the car. Pittsburgh Chron
icle-Telegraph,
Circumstances Alter Cases.
Doctor (somewhat deaf) Did your
wife take all the medicine I left berf
Browning Yes; and she's dead.
Doctor She's In bed, eh? Then I'll
make a change In the treatment
Browning (louder)! said she was
dead.
Doctor Oh, she's dead, eh? Thea
I'll make out my bill
bor unions, the trade guilds. These
organizations built their permanent
offices, If they were to be called sucn
In the sixteenth and seventeenth cen
turies. ?he various guilds represent
ed on the square are the coopers, arch
ers, clothiers and carpenters. On the
same square there is the birthplace of
Van Dyck,
don't know," said the barber, careless
ly. "All beards look alike to me.
"Wunst I went into a barber' shop to
git shaved," resumed the farmer, "and
after the barber was done and I was
payln' him, he remarked, 'Say, old
man, if all beards was like yoiirn I'd
give up the barber business.' I sei
to blm, I sez, 'Well, you haven't got
anything on me, old man. If all bar
bers was like you I'd lot my beard
grow
it, and said the words:
"Open, rock, at break of day;
To what I ask do not say nay.
"I want money to make my sister
and me comfortable, and I would like
a goldheaded cane for the little old
lady and a gold collar for the little
old lady's old dog, and a ribbon for
the tall ot the little old pig," she said.
Then she sat down beside the rock
and waited for the daylight to come,
but she remembered what her sister
bad said about the Hon, and when it
began to bo light, she went behind a
tree an J watched, but when the rock
opened she did not see a Hon, and
she looked into the opening. There
was a bp.g of gold for her, and a gold
hoaded cane for the little old lady
and the collar for the little old lady's
little old dog lay beside it, but where
'that is very dangerous to get near to
that has horns."
"I know, teacher, I know!" called
little Annie Jones.
"Well, Annie, what is it?"
"An automobile."
On the Kiaiiu.
"I know you were married twenty
years ago, yet you have the nerve to
tell me that this is your seventh wed
ding anniversary."
"I said my seventh wedding, Yorlcn,
not anniversary."
A Rainbow Story.
The Indians have a lovely thought
The Reason.
"A mile on the sea Is more than a
about the rainbow. They love flowers mile on land, isn't it?"
even as we do. The roses, lilies, "Yes; it's about one-seventh more."
pansles and golden rod they bate to : "Can you tell me why?"
see leave. When they see a rainbow "Oh Well, things swell In the water,
they fancy that in the lovely colors you know."
spanning the sky all the wild flowers,
lilies, violets, etc, and the most ol
the woods are still living and blos
soming anew in the heavens.
An Opinion.
Hudson Maxim, inventor ot high ex-
Oh, Shucks.
Tomdlx I thought you was 1 suitor
for the hand of Miss Gotrox?
Hojax I waa, but I didn't
Tomdlx Didn't what?
Hojax pidcj't suit b.er,
Worth Knowing.
Inlaid linoleum when first laid
should be given a coat of good floor
polish made ot wax and pure oils free
from acids ot any nature. This should
be well rubbed luto the linoleum to
fill the pores, then the linoleum should
be polished. When necessary to clean
use a good soap, which must bo free
from alkalies, and luke-warm water. Do
not use soda or any ot the Btrong
soaps or cleansing compounds, which
are apt to destroy the finish and color.
Some prefer that the inlaid should be
polUbed once each month with a good
floor wax, but the soap and water
method Is believed to be the boat
was the ribbon for the tall of the oloslves. and one ot tne worio. s great-
little old pig? est chemists, says: "The wreath of
i,.,., i .i .v.. I ciearette smoke which curia about
Mnif,,ch nan a 1(1150 uui, nuu vuv j
cracked it open, and a red ribbon
dropred out She was glad, for she
wanted tho little old pig to have the
ribbon tor bia tail, the little old lady
had promised it to him so many times.
Margaret took all her good fortune
and rw heme.
Ssrnu was Just getting up. "Well,
the Hod did not eat you," she said,
"but I m sure you ran as fast as 1
did. The little old woman is a bad
old witch."
Then Margaret showed her the bag
of fold. Sarah became very angry, for
she thought Margaret would keep all
of it, n she would have done, but
the head of the growing lad holds his
brain In an Iron grip which prevents it
from growing and his mind from de
veloping Just as surely as the iron
Bhoe does the foot of the Obinesf
girl." The American Boy.
He Was Practicing.
Johnny was seated at the piano
reading.
His Mother (from the kitchen)-
Johnny, why aren't you practicing?
Johnny I am,
His Mother I don't hear anything.
Johnny Well, I'm practicing the
pauses.
Usual Thing.
His Wife I got into an awful Jam
at that bargain sale today.
Her Husband Is that so?
His Wife Yes; all the money was
squeezed out of my purse.
Rather Indefinite.
"At about what age does a man
usually, begin to get bald?" asked the
teacher.
"What kind of man married or
single?" qmried t'uj bright pupil.
Ocfl Oct!
Groans What motive had your sot
for becoming a railway engineer?
Grins A locomotive, I presume, '