JpARAMO of
QANTA .
Isabel
FEW persons who live In the
temperate zone are aware of
the fact that there la quite a
large section of country In trop
ical America, even at the Equa
tor which is a land of sleet and storm
during the greater part of the year,
where many of the trails are fre
quently closed to men and beasts at
tempting to cross are frozen to death.
Such a region Is the Andean paramo,
In the Republic of Colombia.
', Three years ago Dr. Arthur A. Allen
explored that elevated land In search
of bird specimens, and he has de
scribed It In the American Museum
Journal. The following paragraphs,
says the Bulletin of the Pan Ameri
can Union, embody substantially the
more Important features .of Doctor
Allen's Interesting account:
The paramo of Santa Isabel lies
about two days' Journey from Solento,
the largest town on the Qulndlo trail,
which crosses the central Andes, and
, on clear days, especially at dusk, can
be seen at several points rising above
the forest-capped ridges to an alti
tude between 16,000 and 17,000 feet.
Beyond It and a little to the east lies
the paramo of Ruts, and, most mag
nificent of all, Nevada del Tollma,
with Its crown of crystal snow gleam
ing In the rays of the setting sun.
One morning In early September
the naturalists slung their packs and
started for the paramo of Santa Isa
bel. From Solento the trail to the
paramo leads first down Into the Ho
quia valley and then follows the
river's meandering course through
groves of splendid palms nearly to Its
source, when It turns abruptly and
begins a steep ascent of the mountain
side. The palm trees, In scattered
groves, continue to nearly 9,000 feet,
where the trail begins to zigzag
through some half-cleared country,
where the trees have been felled and
ON THE PAWAMO
burned over, and where In between
the charred Btumps a few hundfuls of
wheat have been planted and now
wave a golden brown agalust the
black.
Wonderful Cloud Forest.
And next the Cloud forest! It is
seldom that the traveler's anticipation
of any much-heralded natural wonder
Is realized when he Is brought face
to face with It. Usually he feels a
tinge of disappointment and follows
It by a close scrutiny of the object
before him In search of the grandeur
depicted, but not so with the Cloud
forest. According to Mr. Allen It sur
passes one's dreams of tropical lux
uriance. It Is here rather than In the
lowland Jungle that nature outdoes her
self and crowds every available Inch
with moss and fern and orchid. Here
every twig Is a garden and the moss
laden branches so gigantic that they
throw more shade than the leaves of
the trees themselves. Giant branches
hang to the' ground from the hori
zontal branches of the larger trees
and In turn are so heavily laden with
moss and epiphytes that they form an
almost solid wall and present the ap
pearance of ft hollow tree trunk 15 or
Butterfly Family.
The butterfly Is one of the higher of
the myriad species of what are called
moths, naturalists giving to the whole
family the name of lepldoptera. The
naturalist who simply studies the won
ders and myBteiies of nature cares
nothing for learned names for varied
genii. He glories In the fact that
while gcntla snow flakes fell a butter
fly, orange yellow, flitted noiselessly
within bearing of tho complainings of
lionB, tigers, bears and hyenas, and
the chattering of monkeys, nil stolen
from their native trees and Jungles to
afford entertainment for the children
of men, fluttered up and down and
around as If seeking the flower which
as yet bloomed not
8elect Your Master.
Tm cannot serve two masters; yon
must serve one, or the other. If your
work Is the first with you and your
fee second, work Is your master and
the Lord of work, who la God. But
it rovr fee Is first with you and
your work second, fee Is your mas
ter, end the lord of fee, who Is (be
devil. Ruskin.
:Vm; .V:1 ji nrj
20 feet In diameter. One should pass
through this forest during the rainy
season to form a true conception of
Its richness, though even during the
dryest months the variety and abun
dance of plant life covering every
trunk and branch are beyond belief.
The great forest, occasionally Inter
rupted by clearings, continues for
many hours of travel up the mountain
from 9,000 to about 12,000 feet, where
a sudden change occurs, the trees
become dwarfed, their leaves small
and thick, heavily chltlnlzcd or cov
ered with thick down, and remind one
of the vegetation about our northern
bogs with their Andromeda and Lab
rador tea. Here, too, the ground In
places Is covered with a dense mat of
sphagnum, dotted with dwarf blueber
ries and cranberries and similar plants
which remind one of home.
Out Upon the Paramo.
A cool breeze greets the traveler,
sky appears In place of the great
dome of green, and suddenly he steps
out upon the open paramo. He has
been traveling through the densest of
forests, seeing but a few paces along
the trail and only a few rods Into the
vegetation on either side; he has
grown nearsighted, and even the
smallest contours of the landscape
have been concealed by the dense for
est cover. Suddenly there Is thrown
before his vision a whole world of
mountains. As far as he can see In
all directions, save behind him, ridge
piles upon ridge In never-ending series
until they fuse In one mighty crest
which pierces the clouds with Its
snow-enpped crown. This Is the para
mo of Santa Isabel.
At this point the party dismounted
and led their horses along the narrow
ridge. They looked In vain for the
Jagged peaks that are so characteris
tic of our northern front-made moun
tains. Here even the vertical cliffs
did not seem entirely without vegeta
Or JjANTA ISABEL
tiou, and as far as could be seen with
binoculars the brown sedges and the
gray frallejons covered the rocks oven
up to the very edge of the snow. All
about them the strange mulleinlike
frallejons, as the native call them,
stood up on their pedestals, ten or
even fi'teen feet In height In sheltered
Bpots; down among the sedges were
iibiij' lesser plants similar to our
North American Bpecles gentians,
composites, a hoary lupine, a butter
cup, a yellow sorrel, almost Identical
with those of the United Slates.
Birds also, several of which proved
to be new to science, were numerous,
but all were of dull colors and re
minded them In their habits of tho
open-country birds of northern Unit
ed States. A goldfinch hovered above
the frallejons; a gray flycatcher ran
along the ground or mounted luto
the air, much like the northern horned
larks; an ovenblrd flow up ahead of
them resembling a meadow lark; a
marsh wren scolded from the rank
sedges; and almost from under their
horses' hoofs one of the large An
dean snipes sprang Into the air wllh
a characteristic bleat and went zlg
zaglng away.
Balzac's Hatred of Tobacco.
Perhaps no celebrated author was
more hostile toward tobacco than
Balzac. It Is truo that Lamartlno
speaks of the novelist's teeth as black
ened by clgnr smoke, but Lamartlne
was not Intimate with Balzac. Gau
tier on the other hand knew him well
and wrote eloquently about his hatred
of tobacco. Dalzac's ruling passion
was coffee, which Injured him and
perhaps killed him. In some of his
novels he anathematizes tobacco.
When he allows some of his characters
to smoke there Is veiled contempt. "As
for De Marsay, he was busied In
smoking his cigars."
Ha Was Sufforer,
"Madam," said the tattered and torn
supplicant, to the benevolent lady who
answered his timid rap at the door,
"have you any old clothes you can
spare for an unfortunate victim of
the European war?" "I th'lnk I have,
my poor man; but how does this hap
pen? You cannot have been In this
war, surely," "No, madam," humbly
replied the sufferer; "but my wife bas
sent all my clothes to the Belgians.''
SHE GAVE 1 LIFE
And in Return He Saved Her
From Grave and Imminent
Danger.
By DOROTHY DOUGLAS.
John Cranborn was one of the Idle
poor. He had spent the greater part
of his life In condemnation of those
people who had chanced either by
their own endeavor or by that of their
forefathers to have acquired wealth.
Cranborn was one of those men who
believed that the world and the Idle
rich owed him a living.
On Cranborn's side, however, and
a circumstance that somewhat less
ened the conclusive evidence against
him, was the fact that be bad been
orphaned at an early day In his life.
Being of a retiring nature, he bad
never Inveigled himself Into a circle
other than one of Indifference to his
own welfare. Those within his circle
had no ambition of their own and,
therefore, none to instill Into anyone
else. Cranborn drifted Into man
hood without an Influence for good
or evil having left Its mark on blm.
If his mind was unnourlshed from
lack of energy, so also was his body,
and Cranborn found himself at twenty-five
lying In a hospital without
the necessary strength to undergo an
operation.
Perhaps for the first time In his
life Cranborn desired to go on liv
ing. He wished that he had spent
less money on cigarettes and more
on bread, so that his body would not
be In the humiliating position of ab
ject weakness. A spark of anger
flamed In his eyes. All the strength
of his mind concentrated Itself In
condemnation of the rich and idle,
who had not only food In abundance
but all the luxuries that he lacked
The soft purring of a limousine at
the hospital door only augmented
Cranborn's grievance and he turned
bis face to the wall. He would not
have believed bad he been told at the
moment that the young lady stepping
out of the limousine had come that
her blood might be transfused Into
his, Cranborn's veins.
When he turned his face from the
wall at the command of the surgeon,
Cranborn shrank within himself.
Beautiful and glowing with won.
derful vitality and health waa the
girl who stood beside the surgeon.
"This young lady Is going to give
you a new life," Doctor Lyman said,
"I am going to transfuse some of her
blood into your body."
"I won't have her do It," Cranborn
muttered weakly and turned his
shamed face away from the radiant
girl In whose eyes shone a great
pity.
"But you will not deprive me of
the pleasure It will afford me," she
said quickly In a voice so musical
that Cranborn vibrated with the
rhythm of It. "You see I have been
on Doctor Lyman'a list for a long time
and never before have I been allowed
to give my blood to any of his pa
tients. Now he has called mo here
because my blood agrees In certain
pathological particulars with yours,
and I do so want to do this little
good In the world." She was looking
with actual pleading now Into the
eyes she bad compelled to meet her
own. "I have everything In the
world save the knowledge that I have
saved a human life. Surely you will
not rob me of this opportunity?"
A weak sob shook Cranborn's body
and he closed his eyes.
Doc tor Lyman motioned the girl to
remove her wraps. The surgeon then
prepared his large caliber needle by
which the vein to vein sewing and
consequent scarring Is avoided, but
Cranborn must have been uncon
scious during the proceeding, for he
knew no more until a warm, content
ed Bense of well being permeated his
body. The room had grown dark
and he was alone except for bis
nurse, who sat quietly beside him.
Cranborn would have spoken save
that a complete sense of shams' held
htm silent. A woman, or rather, a
mere girl, and one of the idle rich he
had so systematically condemned,
had given her life blood to save him.
His useless, good-for-nothing body
had been purified, strengthened and
made whole by the act of charity
that not one out of a thousand per
sons could offer. Pure blood did
not run In every set of veins. Had
the girl been a needy person who
was making the blood sacrifice for
the twenty-five dollar fee she could
earn, Cranborn might have remained
the Cranborn of his early manhood.
But the fact that a girl, beautiful,
wealthy and refined, had offered
practically her life that his might be
saved flung Cranborn once and for
all time Into a path where no shad
ows of past failures were to darken
the way.
After the successful operation he
lay regaining his strength and plan
ning some kind of a future for him
self.
Tho girl, EdltU McVicker, came a
few days afterward to see how Cran
born was progressing and to assure
blm that she had in no way suffered
by the transfusion. Doctor Lyman
had advised the call, since Cranborn
was torn by doubts as to her wel
fare. "But why do you feel called upon to
risk your life In this way for one
that may bo worthless? Doctor Ly
man tells me that your name Is down
on the lists of four surgeons, and that
you might lie called upon at any time
to make thin sacrifice?" Cranborn
asked her, while his eyes looked
steadily Into hor clear, sparkling ones.
'Principally because the dearest
brother In the world was saved to me
by the generous transmission which
waa offered him by a man who was
down and out. I havo always vowed
to sock and seek until I could give a
life for a lito and In some way repay
the great debt of gratitude. The man
who saved my brother has climbed up
tbe ladder of fame now and"
"And you have given your life to
roe," Cranborn said softly, "and I, too,
God willing, will build up this physi
cal body of mino so that my name will
one day appear on the surgeon's list
that la honored by yours. I, too, will
plan to give a life for a life."
When she had left him Cranborn
realized that from tho moment of
her coming Into his life ho had
seemed to be a different man. Was
It her Influence or merely the awak
ening of the latent ambition within
hlin? He chose to attribute the change
to Edith McVicker and her wonder
ful fund of human sympathy. That
she was happier for having sa,ved
his life was more than evident In
the calm Joy that radiated through
hc-r being, She had not so definitely
expressed that feeling at the first
meeting, and Cranborn knew that it
doing good makes one so completely
happy, then good It was that he In
tended to do. He smiled softly In
silent condemnation of the Idle poor
the circle from which he had flown.
Perhaps, then, a year or two later,
the happiest day of his life occurred
when he saved a life and felt the
same radiance flooding bis being
that Edith McVicker had felt when
she bad given life blood to a dying
man.
Cranborn had been riding bis mare
In tbe early morning when a second
mare, frightened by the din of a
motorcycle, dashed toward him. Cran
born bad only time to grasp tbe sit
uation, see the rocky precipice over
which the frightened mare would
hurl her rider and to swing himself
like a flash from the saddle.
He opened his eyes after being
dragged end looked straight Into
Edith McVlcker's own.
"I thought I was never going to
find you," was all Cranborn said In
the first dazed moment He was
dazed principally because tbe girl's
soft fingers were trailing over the
bruise on his forehead Just as they'
had often trailed in the dreams be
nad of her.
"We seem destined to keep each
other in the land of the living," the
girl said a trifle unsteadily, for aside
from the shock of that frightened
horse Cranborn's eyes were gazing
wonderingly at her. A deep color
Bprang into her cheeks.
"We can make them lives that are
well worth saving if if you could
love me. I have been most successful
since you came Into my life and I
have wanted to tell you that and
something else for well at least for
two years."
Edith laughed softly and remem
bered the many hours she had sat try.
ing to think of someone except the
man in the hospital who had tried
to refuse to permit her blood to be
transfused Into his veins.
"Two years is a frightfully long
time," she said with eyes that en
couraged an Immediate making up for
lost time.
(Copyright, 1916, by the McClure Newspa
per Syndicate.)
Dog That Saved His Master.
I must write you Just one story that
came to me at the ambulance Just be
fore Christmas, even thoueh It is a.
little late. We had a French soldier
brought In frightfully wounded. He
came from the region around St Ml
hlel. One leg had to be amputated,
and, besides that, he had half a dozen
other wounds. His doe came with
him a hunting dog of some kind. The
dog nad saved his master s life. They
were in the trenches together, when a
shell burst In such a way as to col
lapse the whole trench. Everyone In
It was killed or buried in the collapse,
and this dog dug and dug until he got
his master's face free, so that he
could breathe, and then he sat by him
until some re-enforcements puma ami
dug them all out. Everyone was dead
Lut this man.
"Isn't that a beautiful little story?
We have both the dog and the man
with us. The dose has a little house
all to himself in the court, and he has
blankets and lots of nettine. and nv.
ery day he is allowed to be with his
master for a little while Letter from
Dr. Mary Merritt Crawford. In Paris.
to New York Times.
To Study Coal Tar Products.
Thomas N. Norton, late American
consul at Chemnitz, Germany, has
been appointed a commercial agent of
the department of commerce to under
take a special Investigation of the
chemical Industry In the United
States, particularly in respect to coal
tar products. It is hoped by the de
partment that his report will be help
ful in the development of synthetic
dyestuff manufactured In the United
States. Those who wish to offer sug
gestions te Mr. Norton may address
him In care of the Bureau of Foreign
and Domestic Commerce, Washington,
D. C. He is an expert chemist, and
the author of two monographs on
chemical subjects.
Where He Came In.
A witty barrister, says an English
paper, who did not object to a Joke at
his own expense, was asked, on re
turning from circuit, how he had got
on. Well, was the reply, "I saved
the lives of two or three prisoners."
Then you defended them for mur
der?" "No," was the rejoinder, "J
prosecuted them for It."
' Cheap Witticisms.
It were well If the so-called "rlevor
Btory writer," who, too often. Is the
chief nuisance of the manuscript edi
tor ot all magazines, could be brought
to a realization that mere exaggera
tion and disgusting Incidents are not
"fun;" it would save postage and les
sen the certainty of rejections. Na.
tional Magazine.
Fireproof Wood.
To mako wood fireproof, slake a
small quantity ot fresh lime and add
water till It has the consistency of
cream, stir well and add one pound ot
alum, 12 ounces of commercial potash
and about one pound ot salt. Stir
apaln and apply while hot Two or
three coats will keep wood fireproof
tor many months.
Couldn't Lose Him.
'I understand your party threw you
overboard at the convention," re
marked one political candidate to an
other.
"Yes, that's right," replied the other,
"but fortunately I was strong enough
to swim to the other side."
tJH
T'lE railway from the port of
La Gualra to Caracas, capital
of the republic of Venezuela, is
about twenty-four miles long,
following the track of the road
built by the coloulul Spanish governors
along the shoulders of the mountain
wall, writes L. Elwyn Elliott In the
Pan-American Magazine.
As the railway track winds up In a
series of curves the traveler Bees a
few yards below, all the way, tho
highway newly built up and splendid
ly surfaced where automobiles are
climbing or descending negotiating
the frequent bends with care. No
better road could be desired, and this
Is but one of the excellent systems
of public highways which are the
pride of Venezuela.
Up in the mountains we get a quick
and grateful change of climate with
some suddenness; it Is not really cool,
for Caracas is sheltered by the double
range that closes It In on either hand,
but it is exceedingly agreeable a per
fect soft Bprlng temperature almost
equal during tbe whole of the year
and only varied by the seasons of al
ternating dryness and moisture.
The first, and I think the last, Im
pression that one gets of Caracas is
that it is very clean, very spick and
span, very much "embelllclda." It is
Indeed the most embellished city of
the Caribbean countries.
Large sums have been spent during
several successive presidencies on the
adornment of this ereatlv beloved can-
ital city, and there is no Venezuelan
who grudges the continuous expendl-
ARCH OF THE
ture that is used in making this a
place of pride. To the 20-year regime
of President Guzman Blanco were due
the first layings of modern pavements,
the erection of many modern edifices
for public use, the Introduction of up-to-date
utilities; his ideas have been
added to as well as maintained, and
the result is that Caracas has made
the moat of her natural advantages
and is the prettiest, best paved, best
managed of cities.
Many Handsome Plazas.
Caracas is laid out in squares inter
sected by a quantity of public gardens
or plazas In the style coniir.on to Span
ish-America, and a very excellent sys
tem of town planning; In the case of
the Venezuelan capital each square
is beautifully tended, shrubs and foun
tains are kept in fine condition, the
paths are paved with bright tiles, and
the roads leading away at each side
kre macadamized or asphalted, like the
streets of Paris. The newcomer Is
always proudly told that Caracas Is
called the "Little Paris of the New
World," and her people have certainly
done their best to earn the title for
their capita).
Tho Plaza de Bolivar marks the cen
ter of Caracas, the chief government
building being accessible to It. It Is
a fine square, with an equestrian
statue ot the Liberator in the middle,
flowering trees all about it, and the
warm midday atmosphere cooled by
fountains.
One one side, or rather at the north
east corner, stands the cathedral, the
remainder of the side taken up by
stores; the post office and Museo Bo
liviano, together with the Hotel Kllndt
and more stores, take up another side;
the palace ot the archbishop and cer
tain of the municipal office buildings
lie on tho south, while the Casa Ama
: ilia, seat ot the department of for-
There Are No Cowards.
Indeed, from what I have seen ot
both sides In this -war, I have made
up my mind that there are no cowards
tn this world, neither men cowards
nor women cowards nor cowardly
children. Cowardice Is a relative term,
anyhow, but there can be no qualify
ing adjectives for the spirit which I
saw desplayed by the Belgians, the
French, the English and the Germans,
end in the ccope ot that statement I
mean to include those of all ages and
all conditions and all classes. If war
brings out what is worst In human
beings, !t brings out likewise what Is
best In them. Irvln S. Cobb, In the
Saturday Evening Post
Never Neglect a Cold.
Evory cold, especially In a young
child, sfcould be considered serious.
The possibility and the frequent oc
currence of complications such as mid
dlo car Inflammation, InSammation In
ono ot tbe accessory sinuses of the
noso. broncho pneumonia or lobar
pneumonia must always be a subject
tor . consideration and prevention If
possible.
BIS
eign relations, Is on the west side.
One block west and a block bouUi ot
the Casa Amartlla stands the Cap!
tollo, occupying with its airy spaces an
entire block. It Is surrounded with
trees and has a beautiful patio, gay
with palms and statues and fountains,
in tbe center, while about It are gov
ernment offices, the chambers where
the senators and deputies meet, and
a magnificent reception salon.
Some Notable Buildings.
Among the many handsome build
ings perhaps none are more attractive
than tbe National university; on one
side a great series of shallow steps
run along the front of a delicate lacy
facade, rows of pillars shading the
cloisters; the rounded front of the
Capltollo, already mentioned, 1b arch!
tecturally fine, and the Yellow House
Is a fine spacious building. It does
not, by the way, really correspond to
the White House at Washington, to
which it is often compared, for the
president of Venezuela does not reside
here. The president's residence Is a
lovely palace built over a rock oppo
site the Calvarlo hill, and Is known as
Mlraflores.
South of the main plaza are the bus!
ness and largest dry goods stores
which are not too busy to shut up
tight In the middle of the day, when
everybody la supposed to be at lunch
most of the financial houses and im
portant offices; north the shops thin
out and big residences, many of them
two stories In height, crowd the
streets. Like those In many another
Spanish-American city, they have deep-
FEDERATION
ly embrasured entrances, are painted
in gay colors, and decorated external
ly In a manner only possible In a land
of the sun.
Paralso and Calvarlo.
The Paralso is the neck of valley
that runs out in a southerly direction
from the capital; there are two mag
nificent roads, meeting at the valley's
head, and with a broad strip of green
between where there is an almost con
tinuous series of parks and residences.
Delightful country homes deep In
trees edge the hillsides along the
roads, and as a, background stand the
emerald heights themselves, velvet
with soft verdue, the peaks softly
capped with trailing clouds. This
drive In the afternoon Is one of the
pleasures of Caracas that no one can
afford to miss.
Seen from the Paralso roads Cara
cas lies embowered in trees delicately
spread at the foot of the protecting
heights, an enchanting position. If
there la another view of the city for
which one would exchange this. It is
tl;e enchanting scene laid at one's feet
when Been from Calvarlo hill. To
reach this point we drive out from the
city one fine balmy afternoon, cross
lng the outskirts and approaching s
westerly hill dominating the whole ol
Caracas. Once upon a time this was
nothing but a grim height, but now
an encircling driveway winds up tc
the top, a series of stone steps invite
the energies of the pedestrian, and on
the summit Is a botanical garden and a
zoo where Venezuelan animals and
birds are spaciously housed. A One
triumphal arch guards the foot of the
hill, and the park at the top Is adorned
with statues of Colon and of the sol
dier Sucre; from the breezy brow one
looks down on Caracas itself and on
the smiling green strip, hill guarded,
which is the Caracas valley.
To Clean Watch Chains.
Gold or silver watch chains can be
cleaned with a very excellent result
no matter whether they be mat or
polished, by laying them for a few sec
onds in pure aqua ammonia. Thej
should then be rinsed In alcohol, and
finally shaken tn clean sawdust fret
from sand. Imitation gold and plated
chains Bhould be cleaned In benzine,
then rinsed In alcohol, and afterward
shaken In dry sawdust
More Severe Punishment
Lawyer (to fair client) "Don't you
think this cash offer of $20,000 from
the defendant Is a fair compromise
for your wounded heart? Isn't pry
ing that old tightwad from bis twenty
thousand shiny ducats punishment
enough for his breach of promise?"
Client "No, Indeed! I want him to
marry me!" Judge.
Avoid Despair.
If we are to escape the grip of de
spalr, wrote Amlel, we must believe
either that the whole ot things at least
is good, or that grief Is a fatherly
grace, a purifying ordeal
TALE AMUSED SENATOR HOAR
Noted Statesman Told With Glee of
Southerner's Visit to Boston, Where
People Ate Beans,
Senator Hoar used to tell with glee
of a Southerner Just home from New
England who said to his friend, "You
know those little white, round beans?"
"Yes," replied the friend, "the kind
we feed to our horses?"
"The very same. Well, do you
know, sir, that In Boston the enlight
ened citizens take those little white,
round beans, boil tbem for three or
four hours, mix them with molasses
and I know not what other Ingredi
ents, bake them, and then what do
you suppose they do with the beans?"
"They"
"They eat 'em, sir," Interrupted the
first Southerner impressively; "bless
me, sir, they eat 'eml" Christian Reg
ister. Carelessness.
Mr. FlatbushI see during some re
cent explorations at Pompeii an an
cient kitchen was unearthed. In the
fireplace there was a kettle on the
grate, Just as It was left 1,826 years
ago. by some cook residing In that
city.
Mrs. Flatbush Such carelessness!
You can't tell me she hasn't had an
opportunity to put that kettle away In
all this time!
Hard to Get. .
"Have plenty of trouble with cooks,
I suppose?"
"The cooks would be all right If I
could only get the necessary sup
plies." "What do you mean?"
"Well, last week I had a southern
mammy who was a fine possum artist,
and this week I got a Finnish cook
who is strong on reindeer dishes."
Putting It Nicely.
Former Mistress I would like to
give you a good recommendation,
Delia, but my conscience compels me
to state that you never get the meals
on time. I wonder bow I can put It
In a nice sort of way.
Delia Yez moight Jist say thot Ol
got the meals tbe same as Oi got me
pay Puck.
THE REASON.
She Daisy married old Gotrox, but
she was engaged to his son.
He Yes, but Gotrox threatened to
cut oft his son's allowance if he-married
her.
Woozy Decorations.
I understand," said Uncle Bill Bot-
tletop, "that the Turks are total ab
stainers." "Yes."
"Well, maybe they are. But I em't
see how any total abstainer could
think up some of the designs the' put
In Turkish rugs."
Hard Times Brilliancy.
Bride (disconsolately) Ha'.f my
wedding presents are cheap1 plated
things.
Mother1 Never mind, my dear; no
one will suspect It I have hired two
detectives to make themselves con
spicuous watching them.
A Cutting Riark.
"You have cut my ttir too short,"
said the man to the barber. "Now cut
It longer."
And the barber, being a man of
many sides and much resource, did so.
He cut It three minutes longer.
Astray. -
"It is my Intentiob Jto lead you on
the way to righteousness," Bald the
reformer.
"Stranger," replied Bronco Bob,
"you're lost. If that's your destina-'
tlon your trail never would have led
you through Crimson Gulch."
The More Important Service.
"You have charged me toe much for
this divorce," vociferated the opera
singer.
"Madam," protested the lawyer;
"consider the extra work you have
made me do as press agent"
Relic of Bsrberitm.
The new barber had finished his Job
and his customer synchronously.
"You have cut him in seven places,"
thundered the boss barber. "Just for
that you shall shave the gentleman
ever again."