Image provided by: Hood River County Library District; Hood River, OR
About The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 8, 1915)
f h I ; -4 i ' f v f J His Friend at Hillcrest By Florence Lillian Henderson W.SWJWbSV.'.V.V.W.SV.V. (Copyright, 1915, by W. G. Chapman.) For the lady who lived at Hillcrest, mistress of that splendid estate, Al bion Weare had always entertained the highest respect and something more. She was thirty, the bloom ou her cheek a trifle faded, but his ideal still. How he reverenced her! He did not know it, In his blind humility, but Miss Helen Tyrell re spected him infinitely. Whenever she had a party of close friends at a so cial function at the elaborate old mansion, Albion was honored with an invitation. He was master complete of the violin, she a mistress of song and piano. Those hours of mutual music bewitchment neither would ever forget. He was thinking of Miss Tyrell now, and very seriously. She was rich, he was poor. It was his humble trend of mind ever descanting his real ability that kept him back. As chemist of the great drug factory lo cated at the edge of the town he was of value, but it was the policy of the company to take advantage of him. Now he had made a discovery of Importance. He had come across it quite by chance and in his own pri vate laboratory at home. In it his employers had no part or parcel. It Involved a new process for securing from Illuminating oils over 60 per cent additional power. "If I tell them up at the works about it they will simply appropriate it, just as they have other fruits of my labor," soliloquized Albion. "No, I feel certain my discovery Is im portant and valuable. I have written to a broker In Chicago. He wants two thousand dollars advance fees and organization money. I have a thou sand. If I could only borrow and addi tional like amount but' Miss Tyrell no! no! I cannot bring myself to ask her for it." How willingly, how gladly, would she have accommodated him! And he knew that this was bo. He feared, however, to disturb their cherished harmonious relations. Business was a harsh element; it might lead to the impairment of their pure and ten der friendship. So' Albion put the sug- Made I Discovery of Importance. gestion of borrowing from Miss Tyrell completely out of his mind. There was a lust resource, but Al bion hesitated for a long time before he was driven to employ It. This was to mortgage the quaint old-fuBhloned and not very valuable homostoud in the village that had been loft to him by his dead mother. He felt it almost sacrilegious the day ho affixed his signature to a mortgage for one thousand dollars, but there was no way out of It If he expected to ex ploit his formula, Albion did not Inform Miss Tyroll of his plans. He secured a leave of absence of a month from the works and simply told her that he would probably be absent most of that time In the city. She missed him before he had been gone a week. She wrote him friendly letters showing that sho es teemed him, and they were sweet balm to his anxious soul at the most try ing period of his life. For Albion, inexperienced in the ways of the professional promoter and financier, was suddenly confronted with worry and complication that tested all his faith and nerve. The broker had proceeded to devolop his formula by organizing a stock coin pany. This cost money. There was expensive advertising, there were large fees to pay to expert chemists and engineers. Tho two thousand dollars was soon used up. "A thousand more and we shall see daylight," promised the broker. ''Impossible!" groaned Albion. "I have absolutely exhausted my last re source." "Too bad to fall now, when a few weeks' further negotiations will place us In a fully organized condition. Are you willing to borrow tho now thou' Band?" "But I have no security to give,' declared Albion, gloomily. : "Oh, yes, you have," Insisted the glib and resourceful promoter "there's the stock of the company.1 ' "It isn't worth its face" began Al- blon. "No, not yet, but It will bo some time," declared the optimistic broker. "If you are willing to put up a con trolling block of the stock as collateral I can get you the loan. "Go ahead," acceded Albion, though win linnoftlllv So. following devious ways, ' the broker financed the proposition alon i ' i i i 2 : until ana day the end came. The people who had loaned the money de manded its return, with exorbitant in terest as due, and threatened to seize and sell out the cherished life work of Albion for a mere song! "I've got to go back home!" de clared Albion. "I'm half sick, totally discouraged and almost hopeless of raising any more capital. How long have the creditors given us to pay the amount?" "Ten days." "I'll try," said Albion, but weakly. He started for home really ill and arrived at the little quiet home town prostrated with a dangerous fever. Of what transpired during the next three weeks Albion Weare knew little, and that during brief lucid moments. In one of these he smilod faintly as his nurse gently informed him that she had been sent by Miss Tyrell. Then within an hour Albion was back In the grasp of the wasting fever. avlng over the lost investment, the days of grace, the end of which would see him bereft of his great discovery. At times, however, his delirious mood grew into soft and tender ap peals to the woman to whom he had never told his love. And in the ad joining room Helen Tyrell hid her blushing face in her hands, and her breath came quicker, and the swift tears told of the deep, heartfelt inter est Bhe felt in this lonely man, buf fered so cruelly by the adverse tides of fate. One evening Miss Tyrell was visited by a stranger. He was the broker who had vainly awaited the promised return of his client to the city. It was natural that he should tell the story disclosing the negotiations of Albion. In the wealthy heiress he found a willing and sympathetic aud itor. The nurse attending Albion hastened into the sick room one beautiful June morning at the unexpected call of her patient. Her face brightened, for in one glance at the bed she had read the first tokens of a past crisis and the promise of convalescence in the wasted face. He was Btrainlng his eyes towards calendar upon the opposite wall. He motioned to the nurse weakly. Tell me," he spoke hoarsely "the the day of the month." Innocently she named it. A deep groan burst from the lips of the Bick man and he fell back prostrated, with the words: "Six days too late! I have lost everything." Then he was awake and sensible for the rest of the day, but there was a set, hopeless expression to his face that the experienced nurse did not like to Bee there. When Miss Tyrell came she told her of the in cident. In a moment Helen read the situation and Its remedy. "Mr. Weare," she spoke gently, al most tenderly, as she approached the bedside of the patient. His eager soul In his wasted face, Albion took her hand in a fervent clasp. "Are you strong enough to hear i little, a very little, about business?1 she interrogated. I have little Business left," he sighed, but gave a weak assent to her proposition. And then she told of the broker coming to her, of redeeming the stock Just in time, of her supplying new capital and the company was a suc cess! "You did this all for me," he choked out, because " Because you are my dearest friend," she Bald, and her eyes wore fond and loving. "Oh! why did you not toll me of your need for money? Alas! I can help you no further, for your discovery has made you very rich." What came of It all? Greater wealth for faithful, patient Albion Woaro the added riches of the love of a true woman. (Copyright, MI5, by W. Q. Chapman.) Guawoona Javolln Throwers. My experience with tho Ounwoonns occurred some years ugo, when thoy wore In the height of thoir Indepen dence, narrates Capt. S. A. Rlsley, an American Civil war veternn, to Guy Elliott Mitchell of the United States geological survey, In the Wide World. They owed no allegiance to anyone, save a Blight regard for their eloctlve clilofs, and they feared neither man, beaat nor dovll. I have hoard of Gua woona hunters fighting and slaying jaguars with machete or javelin, single handed. For thoir Indian neighbors sturdy fighters, too they had only con- tentpt. It was their boast that thoy never retreated from the foe botore ac counting for a number equal to their own, and many times thoy cut thoir way through greatly superior mini bors of both Indian and SpniilshVeno zuolan enemies. They were the Zulus of Venezuela. Will Become Modern City. That Omsk, In Siberia, Intends to become a modern city as soon as pos sible is indicated by the condition of her streets. In the business sections of the town sewors, gas mains and underground telegraph and telephone wires are being installed, while street car track layors are working over the heads of the diggers. Similar work Is being done in many other of the new Siberian towns, and, so pros perous are these places, that not single bond Issue has yet been neces sary to carry on the work of municipal Improvement. American harvesting machinery and oil companies are ac tive In this section, and an Amorlcnn corporation has undertaken a con tract to build grain elevators from one end of the Trans-Siberian railroad to the other. A-weary, "Don't you got tired of having noth ing to do?" "Nothing to do!" echood Mr. Cum- rox. "I haven't had a real rost since I was doln' regular work. What want Is an eight-hour law to regulute this round of pleasure mother and the girls hav3 got me Into." By Liquid Measure. "Not many people away holiday making In .war time, I suppose, milk man?" "Well, mum, you'd be surprised; at least five gallons of my customers were away list week end." Loudon Puucft. EAT I HI 11 Interesting Statement Made by a Prominent Scientist Three-Fourths of All Food We Eat Is Derived Originally From Rain; 80 Per Cent of Remainder Comes From Air. Three-fourths of all the food we eat is derived originally from rain. Of the remainder, 80 per cent comes from the air, the balance one-twentieth part of the whole Is obtained from the soil. This interesting statement is made by Dr. A. T. Stuart of the Canadian department of agriculture, who de scribes the farmer as the great man ufacturer. He makes the things which other people merely put to gether in different ways. The farmer takes 75 pounds of wa ter, 20 pounds of air and 5 pounds of soil. These are his raw materials, and from them, In the quantities and proportions above mentioned, he turns out 100 pounds of products. The mixture of gases which we call air 1b a fluid by no means so thin and Imponderable as we are accustomed to Imagine. An ordinary packing box three feet cube will contain about two and one-half pounds of It. The twenty pounds of air that contribute so Im portant a percentage of our food sup ply would occupy, at normal sea-level pressure, a cubical space IS feet on an edge. The 75 pounds of water would make about nine and one-half gallons. Five pounds of soil will represent the con tents of a clay flower pot of moderate size; and thus one forirs an idea eas ily grasped of the quantities of the three original raw materials required by the farmer for the manufacture of 100 pounds of products. These products are food and cloth ing. Of all the clothes peoplo wear, 9 per cent Is made of animal or vege table materials that are the yield of agriculture. Even the leather of which our shoes are made is, of course, a farm product.' Silk is spun by caterpil lars, but in reality is is nothing but mulberry leaves, converted by their agency Into a fiber that can be woven. We know what nlr Is, and water la familiar enough. That soil Is morely powdered rock, containing a small percentage of decayed vegetable mat ter, haB long been understood. But many facts in regard to this last in dispensable raw material of the farmer have only recently been learned. Consider, for one thing, the size of the rock particles. In some soils tbey are so tiny, according to Doctor Stuart, that one hundred millions of millions of them may be held on the point of a penknife. That seems remarUuble, does It not? But take a Blngle pound of this kind of soil, and measure the total surface area represented by Us component particles. It is a not very dlilicult problem in mathematics. The total surface area of the particles that go to make up one pound Is about three acres. This is In Itself a mattor of much Importance, from the viewpoint of tho farmer-manufacturer, for each particle of soil Is enveloped by a thin film of water. And it is from this water that the plants ho grows derive their sus tenance. The fluid In question, however, is1 not merely water. It Is a kind of soup, in which plant food, both or ganic from the decayed vegetable matter and mineral, Is dissolved What we call the "fruitful land" Is merely a bed for tho plants to stand up In while they feed upon this soup. Under the microscope all plants are found to be made up of little cells or pouches ftlledl with fluid. In an orange or lemon they are so big an to be easily seen when the fruit is cut. Each of these cells which multiply at a wondorful rate to make what we call growth Is a little chemical fac tory, and it is they which, undor the general management of the manufac turing farmer, produce "protein," fat. starch, sugar, liber, etc., with Inciden tal colors and flavors, to Bupply In a multitude of forms the demands of tho market Piano Records. To enable an owner of a player pi ano to make his own records, an Ohio Inventor has perfected a slmpio ma chine which allows such work to be done rapidly in the homo by anyone who Is at all familiar with music. The device not only lessen the cost of a record, but also makes it posslblo to obtain exactly what Is wanted, since It Is within the power of the operator 'to aet a selection in whatever key he wishes when perforating a roll. Tho device consists essentially of a punch Ing Instrument that slides along scale, so divided as to correspond with the apertures in the tracker board of the player piano, and cuts slots of the required lengths. The roll of blank paper Is inserted at the hack of the machine and fed across a platon plate Guiding members at each side and grips at the ends serve to track the paper properly and prevent it from wrinkling. As the punching is done the paper is moved forward and wound on a roll at the front of the machine. Much the Same. Said She Yes, it was a case spontaneous combustion, all right. of Said He Did the lire do much dam age? Said Sho What Are? Said Ho The one you just men tioned. Said She Huh! I was talking about a case of love at first sight Just Possible. Gayboy I'm delighted to have met you. Miss Swift, and 1 hope to see more of you. Miss Swift Oh, perhaps you will. I'm going to spend the summer at the seashore. In the Cornfed Class. Tom Has that pretty young widow any visible moans of support? Jack I fas she? Well, you ought to see ber navigate a muddy street cioeslug on a raluy day. Exchange HOW HER HUSBAND GOT EVEN Wife Tidied Up His Desk Beautifully, and to Reciprocate He Straight ened Up Her Sewing Room. A busy housewife came into the sit ting room with a determined look in her eyes. - "I really shall have to punish those children," she began. "What have the little beggars been up to now?" asked father, looking up from his newspaper. "Why, they've made a mess of my sewing room," explained the wife. "Needles, reels of cotton, scissors everything has been hidden away in the moBt unexpected places. It is really exasperating." Her husband laid down his taper and Bmlled benignly. "I did that," he said, calmly. Then, in answer to a questioning look, he went on: "You tidied up my desk so beautifully the other day that I thought it only fair to return the compliment So I tidied up your sewing room." Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. Took No Chances. Lady (to maid, who has announced her Intentions of leaving to get mar ried) I hope you realize, Mary, that matrimony is a serious matter?" Mary (earnestly) Oh, yes, mum. I've been to two fortune tellers and a clairvoyant, an' looked In a sign book, an' dreamt on a lock of hair, and been to a palmist, and they all say it's all right I ain't one to marry reckless- like, mum. Passing Show. A CARELESS CANINE. Gentle Willie Why dost thou weep? The dorg but took a piece out of your pantaloons! Wearie Walker When he grabbed, pard, he caught hold of more than the pants 1 Always Something Doing. "There hasn't been a change on this bill of fare In twenty years," growled the grizzled patron. "Have you res taurant men no ingenuity?" "Guess we have as much as the next fellow." "Then why don't you get up a new dish occasionally? The corner drug gist has a new klckBhaw at the soda fountain every time you amble up to it." A Bad Investment. Mrs. Naggs John, we'll never be able to save a cent If you don't quit being so extravagant. Naggs Why, my dear, I don't think I'm at all extravagant. Mrs. Naggs Of course, you are. There s that accident policy you bought nearly a year ago, and you haven't used It once. If that isn't extravagance I don't know what is. Solace 'or Poor Luck. "Even when a man falls to catch any flsh, the outing does him good and he comes back in better health," said the optimistic angler. Perhaps that is true In some cases," replied his bibulous friend, "but I find that the less inducement there is to pull a cork out of the wa ter, the more there Is to pull one out of a bottle." Conceited. "How conceited she is." "What makes you think so?" "I proposed to her and she said she wouldn't marry the best man on earth." "Well, what of that." "I was the man she was referring to." Detroit Free Press. Not an Expert In Ice. "I'm so sorry the cream is sour!" said young Mrs. Torklns. "Everything in the refrigerator ap pears to be spoiled," commented her husband. "It's the Ice man's fault. He will bring around artificial Ice, and I can't tell It from the genuine." The Art of Oratory, "Did your speech change anybody's mind?" "I wasnt Doping to change any body's mind," answered Senator Sor ghum. "I tried to find out what the majority of the voters thought and then convince them that I was with them." Far Removed. "Do you know that I come from fighting stock?" asked Mr. Plllbeck. In a threatening manner. "Umph!" replied Mr. Walllck, not at all Impressed. "1 suspect you've been coming a long time and haven't Btopped yet" After the Trial. "Now It you are acquitted," Bald the lawyer, "you can go on the stage." "Hut suppose I should happen to he convicted ?" "Um. In that case, I suppose you'll have to write a book. A Strong Opinion. Frlti You know Llmburger cheese Improves with age. Fred I don't believe It I think It smells just as bad when It's twenty year old as it did the day It wa made. Equal to a Cat Concert Mrs. lllxon Is your husband sound sleeper, Mrs. Dixon? Mr. Dixon Well, you would think to u you were to hear him snore. ne of Uncle Sam's Jslands wmww.owwwuMWfl1B IIIIIIBMIIIHMIHIHIII IIHHI I II IMI IKHil Ml I III II 1 1 1 1 M 1 1 1 1 IIUIj L IJ I IU lBwfffPa "WSOfetfatfe?aw&aaw&.aSoi PRINCIPAL STREET AN American-made bureau has the sign of aristocracy! Or perchance, a buffet sideboard or a table to proclaim the so cially arnvea: For entrance into the inner circle of the elect commend to Uncle Sam's Chamorro relations a chiffonier and they ask no more of this world's boons. The advent of the Americans to the island of Guam has given the natives there a glimpse of American made furniture, and their souls long for It with the longing of mad desire, writes Hazel Pedlar in the San Fran cisco Chronicle. They have been content through centuries with their woven floor mats and their stone stoves spread out in their lean-to kitchens. Through gen erations of the Chamorro people men have been satisfied with the meager returns from their primitive farming. They needed money only to pay taxes. There was little it would buy save rice in famine times, a little sugar now and then as a luxury, and a plug of tobacco as a great extravagance. But the coming of the white men, wearing tho uniforms of Uncle Sam, has changed all that. The introduc tion of goods of all classes and the im portation, free of duty, of all goods of American origin, have given the natives new Ideas and new tastes. They need money to buy the white man's wares. But above all, they have seen the household furniture of American man ufacture, and they know no peace un til they have acquired at least one sam ple. They care not whether it be stove or bureau, chiffonier or table. Posses sion is the mark of aristocracy; and ambition, which Is akin to yearning, is abroad In the picturesque little is lands that dot the broad Pacific. Furniture Ruling Passion, Saving for rainy days is not a gen eral pastime In Guam. The farms scattered about the island yield enough to eat and to wear and the Chamorros take little thought of the morrow. But saving for furniture buy ing is the "aristocratic practice of the middle and lower classes. The millennium will come when in every home there Is at least one piece of American-made furniture. Social classes and aristocracy In Guam cannot be Laced along the usual lines of demarcation. Practically all tho inhabitants are landowners; many of the lower classes have recognized good blood and no family In the island can be called wealthy. A native who can obtain a diet of vegetables for himself and his family, two or three new cotton suits a year, and $50 cash annually considers ilmself well off in deed. He is satisfied with his prlml- Old Trinity House. Trinity House, which celebrated Its 400th anniversary a few days ago, Is famed across the Seven Seas. The first general lighthouse and pilotage authority in the United Kingdom, it has played an Important part In nauti cal affairs throughout the period dur ing which Britain has been the mis tress of the oceans. The organization, an association of master mariners, was an Important institution at the time, in 1514, when it was granted Its first charter by Henry VIII. the anni versary of which event has recently been observed. Danish and Swedish Flags. The flags of all the three Scandi navian kingdoms are somewhat sim ilar in design. Of the Danish flag the legend runs that King Waldemar of Denmark, lending his troops to battle in 1219, saw at a critical moment a cross in the sky. This was at once taken as an answer to his prayers and an assurance of celestial aid. It wis forthwith adopted as the Danish flag and called the "Danebrog." that Is, the strength ot Denmark. Apart from fill jirl1 TYPICAL NIPA OF AGAMA, GUAM tive house of woven bamboo and palm leaves. These are the boundaries to his na tive desires and station. But If he can add to his life the glory of a walnut bureau or a nickel-trimmed iron stove, truly the gods have been good to him. And great, therefore, is his prestige. Roughly speaking, the distinction between classes in Guam falls between those who live from day to day and those who aro provident and thrifty The upper class is cultured, refined and exclusive. They are usually large landlords, with ranches rented on shares to persons of the lower classes. Their mode of life is similar to Euro peans and from among them the large percentage of island officials is drawn. The middle class citizen is a care free person whose ranch furnishes him with a comfortable livelihood. This he Increases by his labors as a gold or silversmith or as cabinet mak er. Many of the native Chamorros turn out rare bits of wood work. No Race Suicide Here. The natives are monogamous and race, suicide is a thing not to be feared. A mother thirty-two years old has been found with fifteen children, two sets of twins in the number; Wedding customs among the Cham orros are of unique interest. The serv ice is usually at 4:30 on a Wednesday or Saturday. If the bride has an un usually pretty gown and wishes to make a proper display of It she chooses six o'clock for her marriage. Fandangoes precede the wedding ceremony proper and a double cele bration fill? the day before the mar riage one at the home of the bride groom and the other at the home of the bride. The festivities begin early in the morning when the relatives are bidden to breakfast. For the lunch eon hour intimate friends of the couple join the relatives and the special guests arrive in time tor dinner and 3HACK, the musical and dance, which occupy the evening till midnight. At twelve o clock the party, tired with their dancing, repair to the bride's resi dence where they keep watch till morning and time for the wedding, varying their conversation with chews ot Detei-nut and tobacco and gener ous drinks of gin and beer. Neighbois contribute various sums of money to the bride, gifts ranging from $1 to $5 and the godmother of the bride makes her gift one of serv ice by doing a generous share of cook ing for the nuptial celebration When the hour for the wedding ar rives the guests march to the church, returning after the ceremony for breakfast and luncheon at the home of the new couple before retiring to ineir own nomes to sleep. all legend this flag undoubtedly rt ntoa from the thirteenth century, and Is tnererore tne oldest now in existence. It consists of a white cross on a red ground, the naval flag beine swallow. tailed, and the mercantile marine flag rectangular, ine Swedish flae Is yellow cross on a blue ground. When flown from a man-of-war It l fni-b-od as In the Danish, but the longer arm of tne cross Is not cut off but pointed making a three-pointed flag. For the mercantile marine the Bag is rectan. gular. St Pierre and Miquelon to Britain. Of all the vast North American -m plre over which France ruled until the fall of Quebec In 159, only the little Islands of St Pierre and Miquelon, south of Newfoundland, remain In its' possession. Now Newfoundland hears that in return for certain fishing privl llges the French government Is willing to turn tnese islands over to Great Britain. Of late years the Islands have not prospered, and their ill luck reached Its climax last February when Franco summoned all the young met to the colors. louth's Companion. Curious Colony of Zoological To tal Abstainers. island That Has No Water on It. Not Even a Swamp Unless Dew Can Slake Thirst Must Do Without Drink. . Recent Investigations on the little known and rarely visited Henderson or Elizabeth island have led to the dis covery of a complete and curious lit tle colony of zoological total abstain ers. The island, which is uninhabited, is situated about 120 miles northeast of Pitcairn island itself sufficiently out of the way, but famous as tho1 home of the descendants of the mu tineers of the Bounty. There is no water on It, not even a swamp, and It is only six miles long, yet it harbors quite a menagerie a kind of rat, a lizard, described as very abundant, and no fewer than four kinds of birds, all peculiar to the is land. These are a fruit pigeon, a lorikeet or honey-eating parrakeet, a little rail or crake and a reed warbler. The strange thing about the inmates of this curious little natural aviary of coral rock, surrounded by waves Instead of wires, Is that two of its In mates are birds, one especially asso ciated with water the rail and the warbler. Yet it is evident that these, like the rest, must do without drinking, unless the dew can slake their thirst, or they have acquired toleration for sea water as a beverage. A similar case is that of the peculiar and very handsome wild goose of the Sandwich islands, which frequents the barren lava flows, where there is no permanent water supply, but thistle and berries. Hore we get an even more aquatic type of bird marooned on dry land, but the Sandwich island goose takes to water readily enough when kept in Europe. "As to the existence of animals with out drinking, it is well known that many have the power of sustaining themselves In this way, and the phe nomenon occurs irrespective of their diet being vegetable or animal, at any rate in some cases," says the Standard in commenting upon Henderson island life. "Rabbits as is well known can live without water If given plenty ot salad, and so can parrots if supplied with sop; yet both will drink on oci casions. So will hawks and owls, but these birds can subsist for long peri ods without drinking in captivity; in fact, under the old management at the zoo the owls never had any water given them. Neither did the curious hornbills, which are by nature chiefly fruit eaters, receive any. They have the opportunity of drinking now, but do it so awkwardly trying to peck up, the water with their great bills that the habit hardly seems natural. It has been recorded that a great bustard lived for months in captivity without drinking, although the species . does drink occasionally; and it may be suggested that the bustards are a fam ily of birds accustomed to frequent dry places and hence have acquired a power of abstinence. But, setting aside the fact that the great bustard is often found near wa ter, this explanation would not serve in the case of parrots and hornbills, which are as a rule forest birds; more over, the family of birds most espe cially associated with desert condi tions the sand grouse does not show any tendency to dispense with drink ing. Indeed they are very dependent on water, flying to their drinking place twice dally, and watering their chicks by soaking their own underplumage in the fluid, which Is afterward sucked off by the young. "The camel itself, proverbial for Its adaptation to the desert and endur ance of thirst, la equally In need of drinking, although on account of the water storage arrangements In its stomach it can do without a fresh sup ply for days. Yet its endurance of thirst can be maintained only about twice as long as that of the horse kept under similar conditions; and as an abstainer It cannot compare with the giraffe, the eland and some of the other antelopes, which can subsist without drinking for months at a time and probably indefinitely. "Ability to exist without drinking is evidently a physiological peculiarity of certain species of families of animals, and it is obvious from what has been said above that this power is capri ciously disturbed and has no necessary connection with the creature's environ ment, though under the pressure of circumstances It may become lavalu able." No Other Possibility. The Sergeant (sternly) Nan then, yer young blighter, you ain't larfln' at me, are yer? The Young Blighter Oh, no ser geant; no, sir! The Sergeant (more sternly) Then what the else is there on parade ter larf at? London Sketch. Not In the Safety Zone. "I'm afraid this is a tough neighbor hood," said the prospective tenant "Well, it Isn't," replied the real es tate agent. "What put that fool Idea Into your head?" "There isn't a policeman in sight," answered the other. Contrary to Ethics. "Where's" the waiter I had yester- day?" "He was dismissed for careless ness," answered the head waiter. "He was overheard to say 'Thank you' for a twenty-five-cent tip." One Point of View. The One-rl can't understand why old man Solomon was considered such a wise guy when he married 70U times. The Other Well, that's enough to put any man wise. The Case. "What did the poet mean when he asked his sweetheart to drink to him only with her eyes?" "Ot course, she had liquid eyes, stupid." ,