1
'HEN the German fleet bora-
barded Scarborough and
Hartlepool, both known
only ai watering placei,. It
Was taken fnr fi-ranlail that
the raid waa designed to terrify tbe
people of England, since neither place
Is really fortified.
Scarborough has no military history
In modern times, but It was a strong
bold of prime Importance In tho mid
dle ages, and the great peninsula, or
Scaur, from which the town takes Its
name, and which Juts out boldly Into
the North sea, Is crowned by an an
cient Norman castle, now In ruins.
It was off Flamborough head, a
promontory a few miles south of Scar
borough, that John Paul Jones, in the
Don Homme Richard, fought and took
the British frigate Serapls In the rev
olutionary war. The thunder of the
cannon In this sea duel was plainly
audible to the Inhabitants of Scar
borough, and they were in constant
dread that Jones would sail in and
batter their houses about their ears.
But his own ship sank from the ef
fects of the Scrapie's Are, and Jones
made haste to get away with bis prize
before the British fleet could come up;
and so it was a century and a quarter
before Scarborough felt the effects of
hostile cannon.
An Ancient City.
Scarborough is what Is known as a
municipal and parliamentary borough,
and Its liberties date back to the char
ter granted In 1181 by Henry II. It
Is 37 miles northeast of the episcopal
city of York and a little more than
two hundred miles from London by
the North Eastern railway, lying In
that section of Yorkshire called the
North Riding. It has a population of
more than forty thousand. Geograph
ically, It Is distinguished by tbe penin
sula which Juts out from the center of
the town, crowned by the remains of
the castle first built by Henry II, and
VIEW i SCARBOROUGH
added to by most of the successive
Norman monarchs.
This peninsula Is 285 feet high, and
has suffered much from the erosion of
the waves. In 1190, the old chroniclers
say, the area of tbe castle yard was
60 acres; now It Is but 17. There Is
a moat on the landward side, with
walls and towers and a lofty Norman
keep, partly In ruins.
Near the landward end of the penin
sula Is the Church of St. Mary, occu
pying the site of a Cistercian monas
tery founded in 1198. This church,
which would be In line of German
shells In consequence of Its Imposing
and commanding position, was de
stroyed by the castle guns during the
Commonwealth, when the Roundheads
besieged the Cavalier garrison. It was
afterward repaired.
Famed as Watering Place.
In 1620 Mrs. Farren, a resident of
the borough, discovered two mineral
springs near the Bhores of the South
bay the semiprotected areas of water
on each side of the peninsula are
called the North bay and the South
bay. From this time dates the rise
of Scarborough as a watering place.
It Is now one of the best-known re
sortB In England. The climate Is
equable at all times, and the sur-
Reeords Telephone Talk.
No more will we deny having said
certain things over the telephone, for
there Is nof a little "listener In"
which will record every word spoken.
This Instrument Is called the tele
scribe. It was Invented by Thomas A.
Edison, who has at last succeeded In
making a telephone remember. To
operate the telescrlbe, the receiver of
the telephone la Inserted into a socket
of the machine and a small receiver
connected with the machine Is placed
to the ear. Two small buttons are
used to stop and start the machine,
which can be done instantly, thus al
lowing no waste on the wax record,
which records the words.
The telescrlbe Is Invaluable in Im
portant conversations, as a perfect
record la In the possession of the
speaker for reference, if confirmation
of the talk is desired.
Monster Attacks Ship Nine Days.
Many of the theories which seek to
dispose of such accounts postulate the
existence In the sea of monsters
which, If they are not sea serpents,
are as terrible as It they could be so
rounding country unusually attractive,
Sea bathing Is safe and pleasant. ,
The borough authorities for many
years have added to tbe attractions,
and the southern part of the town,
which Is the more foshlonable, con
tains an aquarium and concert hall;
the museum, a Doric building; two
theaters, and the assembly rooms at
tached to the Spa house. A hand'
some marine drive 4,200 feet long was
opened In 1908.
Aside from these attractions the
chief buildings are the town hall, mar
ket hall, public hall, several mfidern
churches, and a number of benevolent
and philanthropic Institutions. Tbe
South harbor is always full of fishing
boats.
Old and New Hartlepool.
Hartlepool, a borough of the County
of Durham, embraces the municipal
borough of East Hartlepool, popula
tion 25,000, and the municipal and
county borough of West Hartlepool,
population 65,000. East Hartlepool Is
the old part of the port, and lies on
a peninsula which forms the protec
tion for the bay. Formerly It was
heavily fortified, and the ancient walls
today are used as a promenade. Like
Scarborough, It Is dominated by Us
parish. church of St. Hilda, an ancient
building, with a heavy Norman tower
standing on an eminence above the
sea, forming a splendid mark for Ger
man shellB. Its handsomest structure
Is a fine borough hall In tbe Italian
style.
West Hartlepool Is entirely modern,
and has many handsome buildings, In
cluding several beautiful churches,
municipal buildings, an exchange, mar
ket hall, Atheneuin, theaters, and li
brary. There are numerous hotels
and an extensive system of docks.
The twin boroughs are situated 40
miles northwest of Scarborough, and
about two hundred and forty-seven
miles from London, and are as popu-
16 " 3jSf! , lllllll
lar as tourist resorts as for their
trade. Before the war they had a
considerable traffic with the Baltic
ports and Hamburg, Bremen and Rot
terdam. The chief industries are ship
building, Iron-founding and the con
struction of marine engines. A very
large Import trade In lumber was car
ried on.
This Is the first time hostile cannon
have assaulted Hartlepool since the
days of the civil wars. Tbe nucleus
of the town was a monastery built
on the promontory In 60, destroyed
by the Danes In 800, and rebuilt by
Ecgred, bishop of Llndtsfurne. During
the twelfth and thirteenth centuries
It was a flef of the Norman-Scottish
family of Bruce, and up to the termi
nation of the commonwealth the place
was frequently captured or garrisoned
by the Scots.
Modern War.
"What can you pit against blood and
Iron?"
"Rubber and gasoline," answered
the other diplomat, with a bow.
Profitable.
'A chauffeur's Is a good Job, Isn't
it?
"Well, they certainly manage to
raise the dust"
named. A Bquld forty feet long, capa
ble of killing a whale, Is enough for
the Imagination. The captain of a
Dutch bark, the Hcndrik Ido Ambacht,
reported In 1858 that his ship was pur
sued and attacked for nine days by a
monster ninety feet long and twenty
five to thirty feet broad, which pum
meled her stern with such violence
that the ship vibrated under Its blows.
At last, when a hundred musket balls
and a harpoon had been lodged In Its
body, the creature fell behind.
A Narrow Escape.
"Let me out of this buildlug!" ex
claimed the book agent
"What's your hurry?" Inquired the
elevator man.
"Don't you try to get me Into con
versation. I used to think that sign,
'No Solicitors Allowed in Thl riniu!
lng,' was a slight. But It's a blessing
ana a euienuaru. in a good book
aaent. but I don't k.m( tn ,
more business around here."
"Haven't you sold anything?"
"Not a volume and J pan..
near buying 600 shades
stock."
15
Roosevelt the "Youth" of the
White House.
Voungett Man Who Hss Been Insugu
rated as the Chief Exeoutlve of
the United States, Up to
This Tims.
In the discussion of available candi
dates for the presidency of the United
States there Is usually a good deal
said about age. The oldest of the
presidents was William Henry Harri
son. When he was Inaugurated, In
1841, he was sixty-eight years old, hav
ing been born February 9, 1773, at
Berkeloy, Charles City county, Va. He
died of bilious pleurlBy In Washington
April 4, 1841, Just one month after his
Inauguration, and was burled at North
Bend, Hamilton county, O., that hav
lng been his home.
James Buchanan was sixty-five
years old when Inaugurated and he
died at the age of seventy-seven, Juno
1, 1868.
Zachary Taylor was sixty-four years
old when Inaugurated, and he died
July 9, i860, of bilious fever, at Wash
Ington, after a White House term of
one year, four months and five days.
He was sixty-five years old.
John Adams was sixty-one when In
stalled as president and died at the
age of ninety. Andrew Jackson was
sixty-one at Inauguration and lived
until bis seventy-eighth year.
James Monroe was among tbe "old"
presidents, being fifty-eight at the
time of his Inauguration.
George Washington was not among
the "young" presidents, being fifty-
seven years old when Inaugurated,
Jefferson, Madison and John Quincy
Adams were of that age when In
augurated.
Dropping below the figures fifty-
seven, one finds that the Inauguration
ages of the presidents were: Johnson,
fifty-six; Wilson, fifty-six; Benjamin
Harrison, fifty-five; Van Buron, fifty-
four; Hayes, fifty-four; McKlnley, flf-fifty-four;
McKlnley, fifty-four; Lin-
ty-four; Lincoln, fifty-two; Tyler, fifty-
one; Toft, fifty-one; Fillmore, fifty;
Arthur, fifty.
Roosevelt was the "youth" among
the presidents, being Inaugurated at
the age of forty-two. Grant was forty
six, Cleveland was forty-seven, Pierce
was forty-eight and Garfield and Polk
were forty-nine.
Of the ex-presldents who have
passed away, John Adams lived to the
greatest age, ninety. Madison died at
the age of eighty-five, Jefferson at
eighty-three, John Quincy Adams at
eighty, Van Buren at seventy-nine.
Jackson at seventy-eight, Buchanan at
aeventy-seven, Fillmore at seventj
four, Cleveland at seventy-one and
Hayes at seventy.
BIDS DEFIANCE TO BURGLARS
Device That Makes Open Window
Proof Against Any Further At
tempt to Make an Entrance.
To mnke an oDen window nrnnf
against further onenina- bv Intruders
Is the objoct of a little device that has
Just been put upon the market It
consists of two pieces of metal Bllding
on each other and moved by a right
and left screw; the ends of the pieces
of metal are bent over at right angles
and the bent-over part is covered with
sharp points.
The lower sash of a
raised a few Inches and this finna ratlin
Is put on top of it, the broad flange
pressing against the Inside of the win
dow caslne. the narrow flanee as-alnat
the upper sash. In moat windows this
narrow flange will Jamb down between
How the Device Works.
the upper sash and the upright bar
that separates the two sashes. The
screw Is then turned by a key until it
fits tightly, when neither upper nor
lower Bash can be raised or lowered.
In other words, the window Is locked,
and If it Is not wide enough open to
admit a body no one can enter.
Short or Long Seromna.
Is It not better for the preacher to
set forth In a clear, luminous and vivid
manner a single important thought
and Impress it Indelibly on the hear
er's memory to drive one nail home
and clinch It than by hammering for
fifty minutes or an hour upon half a
dozen Ideas, to run the risk of exhaust
ing his patience and making him for
get all? Is It not as true now as in
the davs of Thomas Fuller, that "mom.
ory Is like a purse If it be overfull
mat u cannot snut, an win drop
out?"
The Facetious Force.
"I believe you have the homeliest
office boy 1 ever saw."
"Yes."
"And the prettiest stenographer."
"The office force seems to think so,
too. They are known as 'Beauty and
the Beast'"
Seems So.
"What Is the air of the desert, any
how?" "I suppose It Is The Camels Are
Coming,' "
ISO
F PRESIDEN
UPPER
LOWER"
' SASH y
'4-
vrP a 1 1 n
A MONO the innumerable cities
and towns which have been
ruined by tho war Is St. Gall,
In neutral Switzerland. It has
seen Its trade of centuries
growth swept away by a struggle in
which Its pcoplo have no Interest- St,
Gall Is a town of one Industry and
that for the export trade, says tho
National Geographic society. It Is a
world-famous center for the manufac
ture of machine-embroidered white
goods, and its wares have found sale
over the whole earth. It has done an
annual trado In these articles with
America of between six and seven
million dollars a year. It also had
heavy business with the countries of
Europe and South America and those
of tho Orient, Sines the outbreak of
the war Its export routes have been
closed, while some of Its largest cus
tomers have boon forced by their war
expenditures to stop all purchase of
foreign-made luxuries.
The town has grown wealthy
through the centuries, and It has con
tinually developed Its one industry,
built many factories, large and small,
where an Important percentage of the
embroidered white goods of the world
are worked, and through all the
neighborhood around the city tho
same Industry has found development
as a home Industry, In which hand
machines are used.
Grew Around Monk's Cell.
St. Gall perches high up on a moun
tain shoulder, considerably back from
the Lake of Constance. It grew up
around the mountain cell of a learned
Irish monk, St. Gallen, who, taken
sick here In the seventh century
VTCW F
while on a pilgrimage to Rome, built
him a cell 1.000 feet ud the mountain
side, and, upon his recovery, vowed
to devote his life to the conversion of
the mountain tribes. Around his cell
thero has erown un a cltv of mora
than thirty thousand, which bears his
name, and which Is known to the dry
goods buyers of all countries.
An abbey was built, and Its Irish
monks, distinguished throughout Eu
rope for their devotion to learning,
nere made a safe retreat for their
studies. Centuries before the Renais
sance the monks of St. Gallen Btudied
both Greek and Latin, and painstak
ingly copied many of the ancient
texts. These manuscripts are still
preserved In the library of St. fiall.
and they form a priceless nucleus of
Us collections.
Considerable American canital haa
been attracted to this energetic little
manufacturing cltv. Soma nf tho
great factories, with their sonrea nf
highly intricate, almost-Intelligent ma
chines, are entirely owned by Ameri
can manufacturers, who regularly vis
it their plants and make nrenarationa
for this country's seasonal supplies.
ine American consulate at St. Gall is
a very busy office, and It has to do al
most solely with the embroideries and
the machine-embroidered laces of St
Gall and of the surrounding villages
for American consumption.
Another town that has suffered se
verely by the war IsCalals, which
The Historical Background.
A war In America would not have a
certain glamour for Europeans that a
war in Europe has for Americans.
A great battle at Humansvllle, . or
Podunk or Dobb's Ferry would have
no traditional Interest compared to
battles around Verdun, or for Strass
burg, or In Poland. Think of Verdun,
a place of French and Germans bat
tling with modern guns; and of Ver
dun, the place where was first marked
off by treaty the beginnings of French
end German national or racial Uvea.
The lack of a great deal of such tra
ditional Interest Is happy enough.
Thank heaven It Is not with us. But
the historical background across the
water helps the war news greatly.
Find Potash In California.
The salt-lncrusted valley floor com
monly known as Searles Lake, In
southern California, has lately come
Into prominence through the wide
spread interest In the search tor an
available source of potash In this coun
try and the apparently promising pros
pects this locality affords of a con
siderable commercial production In
u
n
ARD HIT
by
though It has been looked on by tour
ists as merely a threshold of contl
nontal Europe, Is In reality one of
the four groutcst machine-made lace
cities of the world. It Is as a cen
ter of manufactured laces that Calais
In peace times Is most wldol noted,
Calais Is a lace town. Almost
everything about It has somo bearing
upon the (limy, delicate webbing
which It makes and distributes over
the world, Should a tourist miss his
Paris express a thing, by the way.
which Is most Improbable, for the
Calais-Paris connections are excellent
and find himself forced to spend
tome hours In the city, the first thing
he remarks Is that there seems to be
a dozen or more women to every man
upon the streets. While, of course),
tho relative disproportion Is nowhere
near so great, still girls and women
ao largely outnumber the men, as
the lace Industry la continually draw
ing them from the surrounding coun
try to Its factories.
The loiterer next notices lace signs
everywhere, upon commission houses
and factories. Generally, tltese signs
appear In three languages, French,
German and English. In spring and
autumn he will meet a continual
stream of his countrymen, buyers for
the big Importing houses.
Of his own free will, however, the
traveler seldom stays. He Is always
willing to leave Calais for most any
where. There are plenty of self-cen
tered, serious, hustling business
towns at home, and there la no oc
casion for enduring the monotonous
twentieth century atmosphere when
ono Ib on a pleasure trip. There are,
ST. GALL
nevertheless, many things worth see
ing in the flat, dingy, strictly practical
port city. Visits to the great lace fac
tories are well worth while, and
usually give one a new reverence for
the possibilities of insensible machin
ery. To see the most Intricate pat
terns mingled in a foam wave of ex
quisite lace, possibly of several colors,
with gold and silver threads, and aN
this done by a massive, complicated
piece of machinery, at one end de
vouring thousands of thread strands
and, at the other, giving forth a lace
ewal to the highest cunning of the
human hand, is to witness almost the
perfection of man's Inventive genius.
And, then, this piece of machinery op
erates automatically, much like the
player-piano.
Calais shares with Nottingham,
England, the honors lor the manufac
ture of machine-woven laces. The
other two leading lace towns make
what are known as the embroidered
and "burnt out" laces, on entirely dif
ferent machines. Calais smuggled Its
Industry from England, but It has add
ed to the original English processes
and machinery enough to be In posi
tion to claim a perfection of its own.
Aside from, and beyond, Its momen
tary military interest, Calais has the
liveliest Interest for the person wide
awake to present-day marvels, as a
world center of lade production where
all the famed handmade lace genre
are Imitated on machines.
the near future. The estimate made
three years ago that this deposit con
tains four million tons of water solu
ble potash salts seems to have been
amply confirmed by subsequent de
velopments. That this amount of pot
ash salts will actually be produced
and placed on the market cannot yet
be considered assured, but so far as
can be judged from evidence available,
It seems that this deposit is the most
promising Immediate source of com
mercial potash In the United States.
Days When Whistlers Were Scarce.
A Victor Murdock story: During
the hard times of 1S93 a Wichita bank
er, who had appealed for money In
vain, was standing In the midst of a
waste of yellow telegrams one morn
ing In the back of his bank when he
heard a merry whistled tune outside.
He opened the door and rushed Into
the late Arthur Faulkner. "Was that
you whistling?" the banker asked.
"Yes," said Faulkner. "Have you any
money left In the bank?" "A little,"
said the banker. "But I'd give It all
gladly to be able to whistle like that"
Kansas City Star.
Wad
SOME OF THE OLD "TIPPLES'
Early Housekeepers Hsd Msny Rs-
. clpss Thst Have Been Handsd
Down to Posterity.
Whether there will be a revival dur
ing the next few years of the domestic
art of making wine Is a matter of pure
conjecture, but It Is Interesting to
recall that formerly many common
things that grow around us were util
ized by thrifty housewives In the pre
paration of "tipples" that were more
or less mild or more or loss potent.
Generally the wlno-maklng potentiali
ties of these things are little thought
of now, and In most homes, even In
country homes, wlno-maklng processes
have been forgotten.
Reference has recently been made
to the making of dandelion wine, a
sweet and potent wine prepared with
the aid of the golden flowers of the
dandelion. Elderberry wine and elder-
flower wine were made In most of the
rural homes In the Potomac country
a generation or so ago. Blackberries
were gathered Industriously by the
children for conversion Into Jam and
wine or cordial, and raspberries were
especially sought after that wine could
be made from them. It Is probable
that In the minds of elderly persons
today there Is preserved a better mem
ory of raspberry vinegar than of rasp
berry wine, for It was popularly be
lieved that raspberry vinegar was su
perior to that made from apples.
In cherry time the fruit was treas
ured because It could be preserved or
converted Into a familiar tipple called
"cherry bounce," a drink which at cer
tain stages of Its "aging" or develop
ment was exhilarating and intoxicat
ing. The flavor of gooseberry wine was
known and esteemed by most of the
grandmothors and grandfathers of
present Washlngtontans.
On all the old farms there was a
little distillery, though on some farms
It was not so little, Just as there was
an Icehouse and a smokehouse, where
the peaches and apples and grapes
could be distilled into fruit brandy.
Cider-making was a ceremony, and
In the late fall when frost had pinched
and somewhat shrlvoled the perslm
mons a strange potation called per
Simmon beer was made.
Parsnip wine was made by BrltlEb
housewives before emigration to
America set In, and the art of making
this wine was brought over by the
early Immigrants. There was also In
colonial times In America a drink
which was called peppermint wine, or
peppermint liqueur.
LETTUCE FOR THE TABLE
Much Depends on Its Proper Prepara
tion and Arrangement When It
Is Served.
When lettuce comes from the mar
ket, clean In cold water and look It
over carefully to see that all dirt and
insects are removed. Place on
piece of dampened cheesecloth, then
roll up and put on the Ice, when It will
be reedy for use and will often Btay
fresh for a week. Some persons com
plain of sleepiness after eating let
tuce. This Is due to the lactucln In
lettuce, which the milky Juice con
tains. This Juice may be removed by
cutting from the lettuce the lower end
of the heads or stalks and then stand
ing the lettuce In cold water for sev
eral hours before using. Keep the
head Intact when you wish to quiet
the nerves or to Induce sleep.
The following is a pretty lettuce rel
ish for luncheon or dinner and may
be served In a small cut glass dish:
Line the dish with lettuce leaves upon
which place either ripe or green olives
and tiny red tomatoes. Chill with
cracked Ice. The olives and tomatoes
may be taken with the fingers at any
time during the meal.
Hot-Water Platter.
Those who have to solve the prob
lem of cold dining rooms, especially
at breakfast time, will find greater
comfort In the use of the hot-water
platter. Boiling water Is turned Into
the tank under the platter and the top
screwed on. Then the nickel cover
Is placed over the food, which keeps
hot and In perfect order for at least
thirty minutes. The original outlay
seems a little large, as the medium
sized outfit costs about nine dollars,
but with careful use it will repay
one in the comfort of hot meals. There
is also the round hot-water plate
which Is excellent fo- the breakfast
tray or Invalid's use.
Shells for Lemon Pie.
Try my way of making the Bhell for
the lemon pies, and I think that you
will be pleased. First I should not
put In the baking powder. Turn your
deep pie plate upside down, put your
crust over what should be the bot
tom of the tin, pat it so that It fits
close. Then turn edges, pick and
bake. It will turn out perfect and
bake better not having so much bot
tom beat, because It is raised from
the oven floor. Exchange.
Tomato Squares.
Mix two cupfuls tomato, four cloves,
two slices onion, two peppercorns,
half teaspoonful salt and one-quarter
teaspoonful paprika. Cook ten min
utes, press through a sieve. Melthree
tablespoonfuls butter, add one-quarter
cupful cornstarch and strained tomato
mixture; boll ten minutes. Cool slight
ly, add one egg, pour into buttered
pan, chill, cut In squares, dip in
crumbs, egg and crumbs, fry In deep
fat Drain on trown paper. Serve.
Puree of Baked Beans.
Put two cupfuls of baked beans Into
a saucepan, add small piece of pork,
1 you have It, cover with two quarts
hot water, season with pepper and salt
and add one-half onion. If you do not
use the pork add one tablespoonful
butter, boll until the beans are very
soft, then press through a sieve and
serve.
Cantaloupe Frappe.
Three pints of cantaloupe duId. tw-n
cupfuls sugar, the juice of two lemons
or one-half cupful lemon Juice and
pass through a very fine sieve. Freeze
as usual. Serve from glass cups or
from the chilled rind of tho melon,
shaped Into a basket
TAKE TIME
TO i
PAPA'S SURGERY WAS ROUGH
Little Jessie Resented Manner In
Which Fond Parent Was Wiping
, ' Tear From Her Eye.
An amused smile fluttered over the
features of Congressman Samuel J.
Trlbble of Georgia the other night
when the talk topic In the lobby of a
Washington hotel turned to the won.
derful sayings of the kiddles. He said,
he was reminded of a recent Incident
A fond father was taking his little
six-year-old daughter downtown In an
automobile, and on stopping in front
of a store he noticed that the drive
against the strong wind had made the
youngster's eyes water.
"Just a minute, Jessie," said father,
wrapping one finger and dabbing the
little girl's eye. "Let me wipe that tear
away."
"Say," was the rather amusing ex
clamation of Jessie, "what do you
think that Is a push-button?" Phila
delphia Telegraph.
Worth Knowing.
"It is said that there are thousands
of Greek boys held In bondage
throughout this country by the pro
prietors of shoe shining parlors."
"Well! Well!"
"They work for meager wages and
have to turn over all the tips they get
to their employers."
"I'm glad you told me that . Here
after I will be able to withhold a tip
without feeling the least bit stingy."
To Be Expected.
"How was the man dressed wh
swindled you?"
"He wore a light gray derby, a
flashy checked suit, a red tie with a
diamond horseshoe pin otuck In It, a
tan velvet vest and "
"That's enough. If you tried to
change a hundred dollar bill for a
chap dressed like that you deserved
to be swindled."
A Tactful Explanation.
"My dear, you are not thinking of
going to savage islands as a mission
ary, are you?"
"Why not, sir? Don't you think I
am capable of doing the work?"
"Oh, It is not that. I am only afraid
the savages will agree with us at
home here In thinking you are sweet
enough to eat."
Father's Cooking.
"Of course, you and your wife are
happy."
"Yes," replied the young man. "But
she Is a little thoughtless. Whenever
I perform with the chafing dish she In
sists ot talking about the superior
Welsh rabbits her father used to
make."
Minor Woes.
She I think It is terrible that nii.
sia joined In this war.
He Yes, it Is going to add vastly
to the cost of humanity.
She I wasn't thlnklne of human.
lty. I was thinking how hard It Is
to pronounce all those names.
COULDN'T RESIST.
Bill Dey say dat a lot ob dem ex
jurslonlsts got left down de river laa'
night
Joe Of course dev did. A hnmh nh
dem struck a watahmelon patch and
de captain wouldn't wait fo' dem.
Plainly Evident
Mrs. Lovewett (at 2 a. m.) Where
have you been?
Lovewett Just fell In wis an ol
trlen', m'dear.
Mrs. Lovewett Fell In, eh? I be-
llve you. You're soaked. Boston
Transcript
The One Exception. -
"Americans are expecting: to nm.
cotton In every possible form here
after."
'Yes." replied the natlent nutt
citizen; every form exceDt eunont.
ton."
Discouraging Outlook.
'Do you believe that we shall ever
have universal peace?"
'I'm afraid not Of course, the na
tions may cease warring against each
other, but men and women will proba
bly keep right on getting married."
Not So Cheap.
"Why didn't you buy that Rnhnrh.
bungalow you went out to see? The
agent said it would be sold for a
song.
I discovered that he meant nna -
Caruso's." ,
Impudence. 1
"Smith took Jones apart to tell Um
the news."
"What happened then?"
"He told Jones to collect hlmselt"
yj '