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About The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 14, 1914)
DIABLO AND SHOO
One of the Many Tales Told in
a Mexican Market
By J. 8. M'GRATH.
Once upon a time & country whose
dame Is always In the big history
books had one of its many wars with
a neighboring country, but lt was over
now, so the soldiers were dismissed
until the next war, because In time of
peace their services were not needed.
One Bauth especially, who had been
one of the most valiant In the cam
paign, found himself without knowl
edge or means to gain a livelihood, as
outside the business of killing men be
bad learned to do nothing. He took bis
gun, then his only possession, and
started out seeking some way to pre
serve the life which so many times he
had risked In battle with boldest
For some time he lived more on
alms than anything else. One day
when he was very tired from having
walked not a few leagues he seated
hlniBelf under the shade of some trees
by the roadside and in a trice was
sleeping profoundly. Presently he was
awakened and raising his head he saw
before him a very grand personage.
Richly dressed Indeed was he, with
a cloak of dark red silk and a great
sword at his belt; but he hud a face
that Inspired terror, with a long and
pointed nose. The soldier understood
at once with whom he must deal; that
the stranger was no other than the
"I know very well what you need,"
said the strange man.
"That is easy money, much
money," exclaimed the soldier.
"You shall have all the money you
care for If you will do all I tell you.
But first I wish to be convinced you
are not a coward."
"Soldier and coward! You should
know that cannot be."
"We shall see. Turn your head."
The soldier turdned his head and
saw coming toward him a great bear,
with open mouth and the Intention,
without doubt, of devouring him. The
Boldler aimed his gun, saying mean
while; "It seems you like to snarl and
growl; I will relieve you of the habit
by putting a bullet Into your mouth."
The gun was fired, and as the sol
dier had said, the bullet entered by the
mouth, bringing the bear to the
r "I Bee you are very courageous," Bald
the devil. "Now if you want to be very
rich you must do as I say."
"I will, unless it be to sell you my
soul," replied the Boldler.
' "That will depend upon yourself.
Listen. During the next seven years
you must not bathe yourself, nor cut
your hair, nor your finger nails, nor
wear any other clothes, nor cloak than
this of mine which I shall give you. If
you do these things, when the seven
years are completed you will remain
entirely free and rich rich as the
richest. But If you die before finishing
the seven years your bouI will go to
the Infernal regions."
"Accepted!" cried the valiant youth,
after reflecting a moment.
The devil threw him the long man
tle which he wore, Baying:
"Always when In need of money yon
will have no more to do than to put
your hand into your pocket and you
will take out all the gold money you
And without another word he disap
peared. The young soldier put on the cloak
the devil had given him and wished to
make the test at once. He ran his hand
Into the pocket, and sure enough took
lt out full of shining gold.
So, very happy, he set off to try his
luck and enjoy without stint all that
can be acquired with money. j
All went well during the first year,
for although he did not wash himself
nor cut his hair nor his nails he did
not yet Inspire great repugnance. Hut
when the time had about half passed
his face had become more like that of
a wild beast than of a man, and he had
to pay well In gold for all he got. Even
so the day came when no one would
shelter him, he was so 111 looking.
With his long hair, the face of the
poor soldier wua taking the look of a
wild animal, and his nails resembled
the claws of a tiger; his clothes were
torn and dirty. More than once he had
to sleep out of doors because no one
would rent htm lodgings, not even the
poorest, and the seventh year of his
promise had not arrived.
One day when the poor soldier was
halt sitting, half lying on the grass
under some bushes in the country,
pondering over his condition and wish
ing the end of the seven years would
come quickly, he heard the voice of a
man. It was the devil who approached
"You have won. You were courage
ous. Free you are and free you re
main forever, and forever rich." And
then ha planned to disappear, but
the soldier called to him:
"Hear me, Senor Diablo. It falls to
thea to rid me of all this load I bear
and leave me clean aa I was seven
There was no way out of It, the devil
.bad to obey, and In the twinkle of an
ye left the soldier aa handsome aa
before, and even handsomer, after
which he disappeared, grumbling and
muttering to himself.
The bappy soldier hastened to the
first city on bis road and there bought
the richest garment he could find,
and thua aplend:dly attired went to the
house of the good and beautiful don
cella. No one recognized him. All thought
him a gran senor. So the two older
girls retired to array themselves In
costumes to receive him worthily,
while the youngest remained near him,
gad and pensive.
Then the soldier filled a crystal cup
with wlnn find Hrnnnlnn- fhfi half nf the
, wh,ch h KUar(cQ into lt, prof.
ferej )t to the girl to drink. This she
an() 8aw tne pece 0 rng. At once
she produced the other half and, In the
midst of her suspense, the soldier em
braced her, saying;
"You have been faithful and remem
bered me. I then have come to keep
FORECAST OF COMING YEARS
Life as It May Be In the Future If
the Present Tendency of Things
"And now, Henry," said Mrs. Weak
ersex, as she rose from the break
fast table and lighted a cigar, "don't
neglect anything while I am at the
office. When the mllkwoman comes
get a double quantity and see that she
gives you full measure.
"Then ask the madwoman about
those letters that were to be sent here
Instead of the office, and when the
plumberess comes to fix the bathtub
get her to attend to the faucet at the
"I think, In all probability, the
palntress who is going to varnish the
hall stairs will be here today, and I
am sure the woman who installed the
furnace will be here this morning to
open it up for the winter.
"Then I wish you would call up
some bricklayeress, my dear, and get
an estimate on a little strip of three
foot wall to run from the stable to
the garage; and while you are about
it see If you can't get a competent
woman to clean out the cistern and
put In the coal, won't you?
"I'm going to change the stable
girls, too, but I shan't bother about
that today. I want to keep my mind
clear about all worries, for those Wall
street operatoresseB are getting too
keen for any use. They keep me guess
ing all the time. When I am a bulless
I see where I should have been a
bearess, and vice versa.
"Cut I'll beat 'em yet. Just watch
me. I haven't been going to ft nerve
doctoress for a year for nothing.
"And, now, whatever you do, keep
a sharp eye open for pedleresses and
trampesses. Don't let them in the
house. And as for Ella, the chaut
feuresB, If 1 hear of your making eyes
at her again I'll discharge her to
morrow, "And, finally, if any such thing as
a man should come about turn him
over to the policewoman immediate
GOT THE HORSEFLY RATTLED
Ferocious Insect Couldn't Draw Blood
From the Auto, and Consequently
Now that automobiles have become
so numerous and the number of
horses on the country roads is dimin
ishing, the horsefly has tackled the au
tomobile. Any automoblllst that drives
along the country roada may notice
the old-fashioned horsefly, the pest
and the terror of good old Dobbin, as
it darts In, over, under, and around his
machine. A horsefly will follow an
automobile for mlleB In this way, and
lt strikes at the machine just as lt
used to strike at a horse and make
him Jump In agony.
One automoblllst who was on the
road a few days ago found a big horse
fly fitting around and In and out of
his machine. The fiy struck at the
sldeB of his machine, but, of course,
It made no Impression. Apparently
surprised at its failure to "nick off'
an appetizing morsel, the fly struck
again and again. It tried the glass of
the windshield. Next It struck at the
hood of the machine with the same
unsatisfactory result. After lt had
been baffled In this manner and had
tried every part of the machine with
out getting a bite of anything to eat,
the horsefly seemed to get a "hunch."
He abandoned the unproductive
metal structure of the machine, on
which he would have starved to death.
and made a dash at the occupants of
the car. Again and again he struck at
them, and they were kept aa busy for
a half mile as any horse ever was by
a horsefly. Finally, however, the fly
gave up the chase and tell by the
Tea Tempers English Wrath.
Tea, It would seem, has had some
thing to do with the production of the
calmness for which the Englishman is
supposed to be famous. In the days
of the big breakfast (with beer) vast
quantities of wine were also taken
and, according to Sir Dalter Desant,
the stimulating diet generally made
our forefathers far more easily moved
than we are.
All classes of men he Bays, were
swifter to wrath and more prone to
sudden outbursts than at present.
Those were the days when men ate
honey with their beef and put sugar In
everything, so that the teeth of the
nation were almost entirely black.
"Some day you may be president of
the United States," said the candidate
who was out getting next to the hearts
of the people.
"You won't make any hit with that
kind of talk around here,' replied the
email boy. "We're a votes-for-women
family. Go tell It to slsUr."
BRITISH WOUNDED ARRIVE AT FOLKSTONE
Two wounded soldiers of a Highland regiment sent back to England tor
treatment, photographed on their arrival
BENCH TAKE THINGS EASY
While Cherishing Love for Academy
They Never Miss Chance to Make '
It Object of Wit.
The French are not Inclined to take
things too seriously. Thus, while they
love and respect the venerable French
academy, they never refrain from
making lt the subject of a little good-
natured wit. Even the members them
selves, as this entry In Victor Hugo'l
notebook will show, Indulge In occa
sional sallies against the famous in
stitution. On December 17th, 1846, Vlctoi
Hugo, himself one of the forty "Im
mortal" members of the academy,
wrote In his notebook:
Today, Thursday, In the academy. 1
spoke there with Dupln the elder
about Balzao and of his chances ol
election to the academy.
"'Thunder!' Dupln Interrupted me.
So you really believe that, wlthoul
any more to-do, Balzao will be chosen
the first time he comes up for elec
tion! You quote examples where that
has occurred, but these prove noth
ing. Think of lt! Balzac, at the first
presentation of his name! You have
thought the matter over carefully!
Good! But you have forgotten one
reason why lt Is quite Impossible that
Balzao should be elected to the aca
demy he deserves It!' "
Looks That Way.
Belle Has he proposed jetf
Beulah Not yet
"What's the matter with hlmT"
"I don't know; ha Just alti and
'Oh. I guess he believes In th pol
icy of watchful waiting, probably."
i HELIOGRAPHER OF
f v!t ! t, 2
Hellographer of the famous "Death's Head" regiment, commanded by the
German crown prince, sending dispatches to the troops on the battlefield.
ACTRESS CAPABLE OF IDEAS
Maude Fealy Sees Many Possibilities
In the Popularity of the Mov
Maude Fealy Is an actress whose
conversation radiates Interesting
Ideas. Here are a
few words from
the Hps of the
star: "To be a
artist, only half of
the requisites are
diction and voice
are lost by the
screen actor. I
think pictures will
bring back one
act plays. Pictures
teach us brevity,
that la, good pic
For near ly a
year Maude Fealy
has been appear
ing In feature pic
tures, and during
that time In addition to her picture
work has also been responsible for
numerous scenarios. She photographs
well, and has brought to bear har
varied experience as a dramatic star
all of which has contributed to her
success on the screen.
, John I see that a New Tork poltee-
man Is charged with mendacity.
Jim That's the way with those
high-brow official Always trumping
ud something new and far-fetched.
Why don't they get after the liara an
grafters?" Cleveland Plain Dealer,
THE CROWN PRINCE
The New Fable of the Two Phlian-
throplo Native Sons Who Brought
Home the Bacon.
Once there were two Home Boys
who sallied forth from a straggling
Village in search of an Irrational Fe
male known as Dame Fortune.
When they had covered enough
Ground to be far away from the elder
ly Relations and no one could point
out the Houses In which they were
bora they began to Deliver.
It waB a sad Jolt to the Walking
Vegetables back In the Stockade when
they heard, on Good Authority, that
Ezra and Bill were slamming lt over
the Plate and batting above .400.
They simply wagged the oesifled
Domes and hoped the Boys were get
ting lt Honestly.
Ezra and Bill, up among the Inflam
matory Posters and the nervous Elec
trio Signs, kept on playing Tag with
the Sherman Act until they had lt In
Oodles and Bundlea and Bales and
Finally, when they became so pros
perous that they had to wear Shoes
specially made, with Holes In the top,
they began to be troubled with Tender
Recollections of Humble birthplace.
They yearned to elbow out from
the Congested Traffic of the cold and
heartless City and renew Sweet As
They wanted to wander once more
down the Avenues of Rhubarb and
clasp hands with Old Friends whose
simple Hearts averaged about 14
Throbs to the Minute.
It Is the regulation Dream of every
Financial Yeggman to go back to his
Old Town wearing a Laurel Wreath
and have the School Children throw
Moss Roses in his Pathway.
So Ezra sent on a Proposition.
He wanted to build a Library at the
corner of Fifth and Main, thereby ma
king lt easy for his old Neighbors to
read the Six Best Sellers without
plugging the Author's Game.
He offered to give 20,000 bucks If
the Citizens would raise 6,000 more
and maintain the Thing.
Ezra had not been in the Habit of
reading anything except the Tape and
lie cared about as much for George
Bernard Shaw as George Bernard
Shaw cared for him.
Nevertheless, he wanted to' be re
membered 50 Years hence as the Man
who built the Library and not as the
Guy who dealt from the Bottom of the
Deck, utilizing the Sleeve Device and
the Bosom Hold-Out.
By the use of Anaesthetics and For
ceps the 5,000 was secured.
Then the Building was erected and
the only Criticism made was that the
Location was poor and the dod-blasted
Concern looked like a Barn and lt was
arranged wrong Inside and nobody
didn't want no Library nohow.
When Ezra came down to the Dedi
cation to face an outraged and tax
burdened People he was just as popu
lar as Tonsilltls or Sciatica.
Bill came back also.
He floated Into Town one day and
appeared In Jimlson'a General Store
and called for a Good Cigar.
He tola Mr. Jlmlson to take one
and called up the Boys around the
Stove and even those who were chew
ing were told to put 'em In their
Pockets and smoke 'em after while.
When the Word got out that Bill
was Buying over at the Bee Hive rep
resentative Citizens came on the Jump
from the Harness Shop and the Under
taking Parlors and the Elle Bowling
Every Man that showed got a Lot
tie Lee with a Band around lt and
when BUI left on the 3:40 a Mob fol
lowed him to the Train.
Ever after that the Word was freely
passed around that Bill was a Prince.
MORAL In scattering Seeds of
Kindness do it by Hand and not by
The New Fable of the Passing Up of
the Wonderful Meal of Vittlee.
Once upon a Time a Rugged Char
acter from the Middle West was In
New York City fixing up a Deal.
Although he wore overlapping Cuffs
and a ready-made Tie, he had a Rat
ing, bo a certain Promoter with an
Office In Broad Street found it ad
visable to make a Fusa over him.
The Promoter invited the prospec
tive Mark to Luncheon and arranged
to have the same served In a snug
Corner entirely screened by Oleanders
When the Visitor entered the far
famed Establishment and found him
self entirely protected from the Vulgar
Gaze he knew that at last he was in
the Headquarters for sure-enough
"What is it?" he asked, gazing Into
the limpid Amber of the First Course.
"Turtle Soup," replied the Host.
"We shoot the Blame Things Just for
Practice, out our Way," said the Guest,
"but It I went Home and told my Wife
I'd been eatln' Turtle she wouldn't live
So the Alsatian Nobleman hurried lt
away and substituted a Tid-Bit with
Cray-Fish aa the principal Ornament
in the Ensemble.
"It's a Craw-Dabber!" exclaimed the
korrifiad Man from the Prairie. T
see Ten Million of them little Cusses
every Spring, but I wouldn't touch one
with a Ten Foot Pole."
To relieve the embarrassing Situa
tion, the Host gave a Sign and the
Menials came running with the Third
Course, a tempting array of Frog Sad
dles. 'A Frog Is a Reptile," srM the
Hoosier, backing away from the Table.
"I've heard they were Et, but I never
believed 1L I can go out any Morning
and gather a Car-Load."
The next Serving was Breast of
Guinea Hen with Mushrooms under
Glass on the Side.
"On my Farm I've got a lot of these
Things," said the Guest, poking at the
Guinea Hen timidly with his Fork.
"We use them as Alarm Clocks, but
I'd Just as soon eat a Turkey Buzzard."
"How about the Mushrooms?"
"Eight People In our Township were
poisoned this Summer from foolln'
with that Truck. My pasture's speckled
with 'em, but we never pick 'em.
Moet of them are ToadstoolB. I tried
a Real One once at a K. P. Banquet.
It tasted a good deal like a Rubber
The only remaining Item before Des
sert was a tempting Salad of Water
The Guest identified lt as something
that grew In the Crick below the
Spring and waB commonly classified as
"Perhaps you had better order for
Yourself," said the Host, as the lowly
Water Cress followed the others lnto
The Guest motioned the Waiter to
come close and said: "I want a nice
Oyster Stew and some Sparkling Bur
gundy." MORAL A Delicacy Is Something
not raised In the eame County.
The New Fable of the Unruffled Wifa
and the Gallus Husband.
One day a Married Woman who was
entitled to a long row of Service
Stripes on her Sleeve sat in the Motor
and watched the remainder of the
Sketch try out his new trick Mono
plane. He scooted away with the Buzzer
working overtime and soon was cloud
hopping about a Mile overhead.
When he began doing the Eagle
Swoops and the Corkscrew Dips, which
so often Berve as a Prelude to a good
Wlfey Never Batted an Eye.
First Page Story with a picture of the
Remains being sorted out from the
Debris, most of the Spectators gasped
and felt their Toes curling InBide of
their ShoeB, but Wlfey never batted
an Eye. i
With only one little Strand of Wire
or perchance a Steering Knuckle
standing between her and a lot df! In
surance Money she retained both Iher
Aplomb and the Lorgnette. .
"How can you beai" to watch it?"
asked a Lady Friend, who was heaving
"Listen," replied the Good Woman.
"For many Snows I have been sitting
on the Side, Lines watching the Dear
Boy take Desperate Chances. To be
gin with, he married into Our Family.
Once, at Asbury Park, he acted as
Judge at a Baby Show. Later he put
a lot of Money into a Bank, the Presi
dent of which wore Throat Whiskers
and was opposed to Sunday Base Ball.
He has played Golf on Public Links,
hunted Deer during the Open Season
in the Adirondacks and essayed the
Role of Claude Melnotte In Amateur
Theatricals. Once he attended a Clam
Bake and took everything that waa
Passed. At another time he made a
Speech when the Alumni celebrated a
Foot Ball Victory. Frequently he goes
Shopping with me. Last year he acted
as Angel for a Musical Comedy. The
Driver of our Car la a Frenchman.
And don't overlook the Fact that for
Six Years he has been a Stock Broker.
He may fall at any Moment, but if he
does he will pick out a Haystack on
the way down."
MORAL The Wright Brothers were
not the first to be Up in the Air.