'OULTRY and Dairy Produce of all kinds wanted. Writ far our CASH OFFER Pearson-Page Co. pEoT SECOND-HAND MACHINERY Bought, told and exchnngrM; enirines, boilers. nwrntllB, fete. Semi for Stock List and Prices. THE J. . MARTIN CO., 83 lit St., Portland. Or. TYPEWRITERS, ALL MAKES Large assortment, Spe pri RFMINOnN fe-iSP uhI SMITH PREMIER, $15 Up. teed by Home concern. Write for samples of work, itatins make TYPEWRITER EXCHANGE. 351 Wash. St., Portland, Or. SLANG mimm ads. eaea " mytnurrpamx tfr NEW HOTEL HOUSTON Dave Houston, Prop. H. B. ThorsneB. Mgr. Thoroughly modern. 101 Rooms of comfort. Mod erate Prices. Three minutes' walk from Union Depot. Write for rates. 72 N. Sill SL, PORTLAND, OR. DENTAL HEADQUARTERS POR OUT-OF-TOWN PEOPLE People from all parts of saOi-eiton and Wannim?- tm constantly visit our i llice for dental treat- i-nt-nt. OuraUill is ac- .nowledKed, and our irnrtirtriif In tintah- 3 nir work in one dav vhen required iaappre- luted by out-oi-town latrons. Ilr W.a In s fftlse- j ooth expert. There is 3 1 i I WAYS flNE HKST" 8m evpry callinjr, and j )r. Wise lays claim to ! his distinction m ure- 3 (t m . 27 Years xperoce. 3 What wa can't cuar 2a.ntee wa dont do. LOW PRICES FOR HIGH-GRADE WORK. Hood Red Rubber Plates, each $5.00 The Bent Red Rubber Plates, each 7.50 22-Karat Gold or Porcelain Crown 500 WISE DENTAL CO. RELIABLE PAINLESS DENTISTS. Phones Main 2029, A 2029. V22M Third Street, Failing Bid., Portland, Oregon S. E. Cor. Third and Washington. 6 & " ... . ? Don't Worry, Przemysl Is Plain Pzhem'isl. Przemysl, which the Russians are attacking, according to Llppincott's Gazetteer, the New International En cyclopedia and the Standard diction ary, is pronounced Pzhem'isl. The "z" as is general with Slavic languages, is pronounced "zh," and the "r" Is elided by the natural pro cess ot rapid enunciation and the ten dency to render the consonantal com binations easier to pronounce. Pore Eye, Granulated Eyelids and Etie. prnmotly healed with Roman Eye Bal aam. AdT. Approaching Danger. Professors in a Massachusetts col lege are planning ways and means for pacifying their German colleague upon his return from Dresden. "What ever will the village do with a German con tact mine floating round on its usually ' glossy surface?" the professors are asking. "We don't want him explod ing on the sidewalk." Communicated. The New Fable of How a Family Jumped Out of Class B Into the King Row. Once there was a side street Quar tet consisting of Papa and Mamma rl Gordon and Ethel. The ostensible Stroke Oar of this Domestic Combination was a Gradu ate nf one of those Towns In which the Occidental Hotel faces the Depot and all Trains are met by a Popular Drayman wearing a Black Sweater. When he elbowed his Way into the Citv. vears before, his Assets consist ed of a Paper Valise, a few home- lonniorori finrmfinta and a small Volume telline how to win at Cards In the refined Home where he ob tained his Liver and Macaront paved with Cheese, he met the Daughter of the Household. When there was a Rush she would some times put on all of her Rings and help wait on the Table, although her Star Specialty was t5 get the Stool at the right Ele vation and then tear the Vital Organs out of "Pansy Blossom" and 'White Wings." Thn voune Shinning Clerk used to fly to his Kennel and get himself all Gnssipd mi and then edge Into tne Parlor and turn the Music for Miss Livingstone, who looked to him like Matv Anderson and sounded like Arlellna Patti. When the Blue Envelope hit the Twenty Mark he saw that it would be Clear Sailing, so they began to Hold Hands and he bought a Spark Dia mond which could be seen held at a certain Angle. Thev went 1o Housekeeping in stingy Flat with a Bed that could be Rtnnrl on End during the Daytime and made to resemble a Book-Case, also a Plaster-of-Paris Lion on the Mantel. Ahnnt the time Gordon was first tethered on the Fire-Escape, the Pro vtdpr cot a Taste of Soft Collateral and began to wear Gold Bracelets on Vila PlffarR. When Ethel was large enough to take into the Park the Graft had de veloped until the whole Outfit moved to an Apartment where all Goods had to be delivered in the Rear. Mother Anybody can dye successfully with Putnam Fadeless Dyes. Grouchy. "I understand Paris dressmakers are going to copyright their gowns." "Vnnoonooi" pyp.laimed Mr. Grow- rha " fiishimis are going, there wnn't he. enough of them to make room for a copyright notice." Wash ington Star. I JliIHBlH'fmi.il. 1 " Lm& nut on her Eye-Glasses. She would practice In her Room for Hours at a time. eriDDine the Rocking Chair with both Hands and trying to get the real Bostonian sound of "A" as In Lara Her Efforts were not In Vain, for one Day when the Club Meeting broke up with the Lady President throwing Fits and a Cotmer guarding the Ballot Box, the principal insurgent was men tioned in the Public Prints as a Fopu lar Society Matron and Leader In the New Movement among Women. They had to call her that or the Story of her shooting the Ink-Stand at the Re cording Secretary would not have been worth playing up on the First Page. It was a proud Morning for Gordon and Ethel when they saw all the Pictures and learned that they were the immediate Descendants of tne Millionaire Promoter and the Popular Society Matron. Gordon found himself endowed with a Social Status which enabled him, at the Age of 23, to gain admission to an exclusive Club of 3,000 Members, the object of which was to serve a 40-cent Table d'Hote every Noon to as many as were willing to take a Chance. Therefore, when he was yanked out of his 2-cvllnder Car and stood up before the Magistrate, charged with running over People and smearing up the Boulevard, the whole Reading Public was thrilled to hear of what had happened to a Well-Known Club man whose Father was a Millionaire Promoter and whose Mother was a Popular Society Matron. By this time Ethel was merely a Relative. She had not come across In any Particular. As a matter of Fact, she was not pulling down any Ribbons at Beauty Shows and toed in when she walked and was beyond the reach of Massage Cream. However, she was not discouraged. She eloned with a Chauffeur employed in an 8-car Garage and next Day she was a Beautiful Heiress whose Broth er was a Well-Known Man about Town, the Mother being very promi nent In Club Work and remembered as the Wife of the Millionaire Promoter. After all this ama out. Father still had between $3,000 and $4,000 and the whole Family, Including the Chauf feur, sat down to Prunes every Morn ing. But they were very Happy, for they were recognized in almost every Cafe and their Relatives in the East were sendine Christmas Cards. MORAL: Some achieve Greatness and others have It Rubbed In. HICKS DESERVED THE KNOCK Facetious Individual It Told His Por trait Looke Like "Real Dough Head Sort of Idiot" After many years Hicks met Rlx, friend of his schoolboy days. Al most half a century had passed since they had gone to school together, and now each was a gray-haired latner ot a family. Hicks was entertaining Rlx, and was showing him his household goods. He was a facetious soul who took an alto gether uncalled for delight In his own somewhat feeble jokes and witticisms. 'That," said he, pointing to a paint ing, "is a portrait of my wife's first husband." "Why," said Rlx, "you never told mo that your wife had been married be fore!" He examined the picture with some Interest. "Well, he looks a real dough-head sort of idiot, anyway." "That." said Hicks. "Is a portrait of myself at the age of twenty-five, sir!" Apprehension. "Your constituents will gather at the station to meet you when you get home," eaid the visitor. "I suppose so," replied Senator Sor ghum, gloomily. "Will there be a ra ception committee or do they intend tu assemble as a mob?" Boston Evening Transcript. SUCCESS- Depends Upon Your Training Our counes In Shorthand. Pn manthip. Business Training and Telegraphy will aquip you far a successful business career. FALL TERM SEPTEMBER T. BUSINESS COLLEGE. Fourth Street, Near Morrison, Portland, Or. We Guarantee Positions for All Our Graduates. Write Us, No Trouble to Answer. KUrTUKtt MIGHT REPEAL HIS LEARNING B IS CURABLE Insulting. The Delegate I tell you, sir, that the root of trouble of the educational system of this nation is the teacher. The Listener But, say, ain't you a teacher yourself? The Delegate (indignantly) A teach er, sir! Certainly not. I'm an edu cator! Cleveland Plain Dealer. Explaining an Ancient Episode. "George Washington did not hesi tate to tell the true story or how the cherry tree got chopped. "Yes," replied the man who had tes tified in an investigation. "George was pretty smart. He knew how to get immunity." Applicant Was Well Versed on Stat utes of State, But Ignorant of Blackstone and Kent. In the old days, when oral examina tions were still the thing, the examin ing board was pommeling an applicant with questions from Blackstone, Kent and other legal lights. "I didn't study anything about these fellows," complained the applicant. "What did you study?" asked one of the judges. "I studied the statutes of the state, he replied. "I Btudied them hard Ask me a question about them and I'll show you. That is where 1 got my legal knowledge." "My young friend," said one austere judge on the examining board, "you would better be very careful, for some day the legislature might meet and re peal everything you know. rsoriow Ledger-Dispatch. Bt wearln a SEELEY SPERMATIC SHIELD TRUSS. No worryinf w dan- .n nnwatinn Rll-ltlll-M i. not A te&T or breach, as commonly supposed, but la the Btretchini, or dilation, el natural ,,.; Thl. SK.K1.KY SPERMATIC SHIELD appliance closes thia openimin 10 days in most ci bos. If you can't come, write for measuring blank and literature. Sold only by LAU&DAVIS DRUG CO. Third and Yamhill, Portland, Or. Who are Truss Experts and Exclusive 1 State Asenta for this appliance. tVJ r AWFUL. From the Readers. Prospective Subscriber tin office of the Wyoming Weekly Whoop) Don't you have any clubbing propositions? Editor and Proprietor Oh, once in a while, but horse whiuning and shoot ing propositions seem to be the favor ites around here! Puck. Tear the Vital Organs Out of "Pansy Blossom. U.I...1., .-....-..!.!.!; mm WAS MISERABLE COULDN'T STAND Testifies She Was Restored to Health by Lydia L. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. T aniraiironnn N.Y. "After mv first l. CH II I. " ..... , - - - - i;m Knm 1 fplt verv miserable and 4.UUU nwi - " could not Btana on my feet My sister- in-law wished me to try Lydia E. Pink- ham's VegetaDie Compound and my nerves became nrm, appetite good, step elastic, ana 1 lost that weak, tired feeling. That was six vears aeo and 1 have had three fine healthy children since. For female trou- b3s I always take Lyaia nu. Vegetable Compound and it works like acharm. I do all my own work. "-Mrs, A. F. Kreamer, 1574 Electric Avenue, T n nr o vironn Q W V. nf Lvdia E. rinknam s Vegetable Compound, made from roots and herbs, is unparaueiea. it mo u. ,iool until Tprfp rt. mnfidence bv women tirVin enffpr from displacements, Inflam- ySwS and keep People waiting outside, just nvl the Whales who control the Sugar leeung,naraiency,ii.u.w..,-.---. - -- He had a Front like the new Fenn avlvania Station and the soft personal Attributes of a Numidian Lion. When he was Bued In the Courts by a Victim who wanted a final look at began to ride In Hacks which were not nnmhered. Rr thev went alone for Years, ria- Inn: on L Trains, calling up the Jam tor to ask for more Heat, trying 10 flnrl a eonrl Maid and experimenting with new Cereals, all of these Ro mantic Adventures combining to mane ivhnt In known as Citv Life. Thev were simply four scrambling Units in the Great Ant-Hill; four tiny Tadpoles in the great Schools tnat wiggled up and down the main Thoroughfares. It seemed that their only Chance to make an Impression on the huge and callous City was to die and then hold up a line of Street Pars while the Hearse and the five Carriages moved slowly In the direc tion of Calvary. But Destiny had them spotted. Father waa verv busy trying to run a Shoe String up to a National Bank. He would rush into his Office and open the Desk and push Buttons and send r,,rrv.TTn Wires and dictate Letters to trembling Myrtle with the Small Waist The New Fable of the Vultures Who Never Were Fed. Once there was a Handsome Dog who was strong with every one ex cept the Mothers. Ha was commonly reputed to be his own worst Enemy, for he dallied with t.h Hum and rolled the Bones and loved to greet jocund Day when it stood tip-toe on the misty Mountain Top. He was one of our most con sistent little Greeters. Like everv other Rowdy-dow he was loved by a Nice Girl of spotless Repu tation and large trusting Bovine Eyes. All of her Friends formed a King around her and did the Hammer on the Anvil, but when the good-looking Scamp hunted her up again and called her Little Girl and said she looked awful Lucky to him and smoothed back her Hair, she forgot the Solemn Warnines and did the Cuddle. They were Married and then all oi the Rappers got out their Stop watches and gave him anywhere from One Week to 90 Days to have his right Trilby back on the Brass Foot-Rail. But we are not all Rotters, no mat ter what Ibsen says, and the Big Six of the White Light Circuit settled right down as a Carpet-Slipper, Feed-the-Ftirnace, and Push-the-Lawn-Mower Husband. Worst nf all. ha became a confirmed Wife-Lover, the most contemptible of all Human Beings, next to the One who eats Graham Crackers in Bed The Prophets who had put up all tha 24-Sheets killing his Downfall were so Peeved that they barred him from the Auction Whist Club. Moral: The dutiful Husband can be found only In Real Life. "Why do you weep? Is your dress out of style?" "Worse than that. My husband has decided that we will have to go through the season with a 1913 airship." Gravestones Sink Into Ground. Antiquarians will be greatly 1b terested In the recent find ot the Bos ton cemetery department at the an cient Phipps street burial ground, Charlestown. Ten gravestones wer discovered in ditterent parts ot m ground, all buried beneath several feet of earth. It was evident that they had been sunk Into the ground by thelf own weight more than a century ago. The Phipps street ground was the bur ial place of early settlers from 1K30. The most ancient stone was of April, 1606, erected over the grave of Maud Graves. Two others are of that cen tury, six are of the years 1708, 1718, 1734, 1737, 1747, while one is of th year 1801. Times Change. Patrice I see when the straw hat first appeared, in 1784, it was worn exclusively by women. Gertrude Now when father gets through with It, mother can put a feather and some flowers on it and claim it tor her own. No Need to Move. "Going to spend the summer at a wntprlnff nlace?" lnauired the first New York broker. "You might call it that," answered the other one. "I'm going to Btay right here on the stock exchange." Tr tjrv'R Vernilfnce and eipela Woriua lu l AUV. "Doail Shot" kill, very lew houra. Not Getting Next. "Don't you enjoy getting next to nature!" "Only in a general way," replied Mr. Growcher. "When some of the details of nature loom up, such as a wasp or a hornet, I want to keep my distance." In 1915. Guest (glancing over menu) What'B the best word today, old man? Waiter (whispering) Beefsteak. Guest Why, it isn't on the card. Waiter Sh! You know, it's the closed season yet, sir! Puck. An Extremist. "I'm afrultl," said Mr. Chuggins, "thnt a man can be over-conscientious about running a Motor car." "Have you been that way .' "Yes, I grew so'interested In Bloif niil violating the soeed limit that a policeman had to threaten to arrest me for standing too long in one place." Washington Star. YOUB OWN DRUGGIST W1LI TEIL TfOO Try Murine Kye Remedy for Bed, Wenk, Water Byes and Uninitiated KyellUn; No Hmartlnf (jy mail Free. Murine Eye Remedy C, Chief Close Quarters. Normantlle Cun you dress with! your income? Bnrtram Yes, but it's like dressing In an upper berth. Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. LjnWARIi V. rilikTOh - I Lttiutvilltt. OoJ"i.l(. Kptv-i rtienlnk His Reason. "Smith must be a brave sort of man. He says he believes, no mat ter what happens, in facing the music." "That's because Smith is an or chestra leader." nHay.r Sliver. Iid, U. Oold, SUmt. OoIJ. tvat Zia nrCdiimr fl. Mwiliue nvelopei, a A full prlolll. sent on !'Plit,tlon. (loalrol ufd tlmnljrb WWII IuiiumL lidftfrenoe: (WrtMiusta National B I The Element of Difficulty. "Is it hard to learn the use of a tele scope?" asked the student. "Not very," replied the candid pro fessor. "The hardest thing about as tronomy is guessing what something is after you manage to see it." or nervous prostration, Lydia h. r ink- ham's Vegetable Compound is the sun fnr female ills. it .t. o.itr..!- from those dis vuiueu nuv J , tressing ills peculiar to their sex should be convinced of the ability of Lydia E. i be coi'nncea oi me buuu ui in.' ." ' Pinkham's Vegetable Compound to re- fcls Money, the Reporters oame around ... . . .. r n n a L h.ab . n .-tiff TlOUoft Unit H P- i,ie health hv the many genuine and truthful testimonials we are con tantlv mihliahin? in the newspapers. If yon wsnt special advice write to lydia E.Pinkhsm Medieine Co. (conn- i . . f i . T ..a Tnur letter Will v j ...j mnA answered DT St lie uururii itm an. - - vonian aud held la strict confidence. p. N. U. NO. 40, " yHEN writint to advertiser., pleaM and he was bo stiff-necked and de fiant that all of them referred to him a th Millionaire Promoter. ti mi easier to be this kind of a Millionaire than stand for a Search. Fverv Office Building is coagulated with Millionaires who never will be Caught until the Tin Box is opened in th Probate Court. Then the widow win iret ready to take Boarders .- ... e" a nnn as Father was bawled as a Millionaire it was up to Mother to join a new kind of Club and have a Handle Why Worry Over Fate? We cannot escape fate. Even if we are allowed to lead a useful life after forty, and escape chloroform at sixty, we must still face the fact that we have little chance of round ing up with the 10 per cent of hu mankind that is free from tubercu inula And the scientific dictum Is nlrl that nobodv Is perfectly Bane. The pathetic part ot the matter is that so many people go on living in diseraceful lenorance of the tragedy of their existence, even making merry withal. Impractical Advice. "I should advise you to gamble rather than write," said the man of conspicuous opinions. "Yes." replied Mr. Penwlggle; "but a gambler has to have money to start with." Washington Post. Naughty Man I An ornery pup is liinatz Grand. t His conduct Is distressiiiB; He went into the kltdixn and ' He watched the salad dressing; ( Cincinnati Enquirer. He rambles through the house at will And no one's pardon begs. He went Into the dining room And saw the table s legs. Temple Telegram. He prowled around the pantry with A most offensive air; And lingered long, immodestly, Where all the shelves were bars. Heard on a Piazza. She (throwing down magazine) Goodness! The end of that story posi tively Btartled me. He You shouldn't Jump at conclu sions. Boston Evening Transcript, Seeking Contrast. "Is that country place cooler than the city?" "I don't know. I go there for the sake of the railroad trip. After an hour or so on the cars any place seems cool." Out of His Line. Ambulance Officer You Baw that man in front of your car. Why didn't vou signal? Amateur Golf Champion I did. 1 yelled "Fore!1 Puck. as loud as I could. Just tell them that you saw me, but you didn't see my bayonet saw. From a war correspondent's notes., Not So Bad. "I hear that Bobby Dings is accused of being bibulous. 'Nothing of the sort. The only thing about Bobby is that he will per sist in going on jags. Changeful Requirements. "Don't you dance?" "No." replied Miss Cayenne. "I used to two weeks ago. But I haven't had time to learn the really fashion able steps." The Limit. "Isn't it awful the way all the food stuff is going up? "Yes: as I passed through the kitchen just now, I noticed that even the bread is rising. A Strategist "Your boy Josh doesn't get up till It's almost time for dinner." "Well," replied Farmer Corntosset "I don't know as I altogether blame htm. We always have oatmeal mush for breakfast and Josh doesn't like It Naturally. "How big did you say that rattle snake was? "1 said it was four feet long. But a snake is like a fish. It shrinks aft er capture." No Danger. "1 wonder if the Habbleys run any risk of ostracism if they go to that fashionable resort?" "Oh. no: they've all been va clouted." NO RECIPROCITY. Purifies Blood With Telling Effect Zi fcs Conscious Evidence of Its Direct Action. First Rattler So that man was un sociable? Second Rattler Very. I gave him a bite and he at once produced his flask; but he didn't ask me to drink with him. The Ample Supply. "When we go to the theater mi wife gets breathless at the thrilling parts. "That oughtn t to worry you. Yours is strong enough for both. The Result. "When Miss May me spoke 1 thought ahA had a catch in her voice." "Well, maybe she had been fisblug for a compliment." I R B tba fnmona blood nurlfier. llmolt talkf a. It aweepi lta way through tUe cir culation, Its talon is so direct that very often la lome forms of akin adlctlon U. appearance of tli eruptloua cbansea ever nlcbt, the Itch and redueat art (on. ana recovery begun Imaaeaiatciv. Aa a mailer ot fact, mer. i an nireai- l u a d whli'h aerrea tka active BUr- poae of Itimulatlns each cellular part .1 the body to Ui mauny aau juoicioua selec tion of Its awn eaaeiilal nutrlmsat. Tbat i. h u ..nHini the klonit aunnlv '. wbv it has such a tretaend.ua Influence la ver. coming tczemt, rath, plaaplea, ul an saia affliction.. And la rffinoraUni the tissues B. n. s. haa a rapid and positive antidotal effect upon all tboae Irritating mnueacea uai cause rbeumatlsm, aore tbroat, weas tyta, loaa of welgbt, this, p.le cbeeki, ana tnai wearineaa of muscle and nerve tnat Is tea- erally experience a iprlng fever, Get bottle ox B. n. n. at any orug sure, aa a few days you will not only feel bright and energetic, but jou will be the ilctur. of new life. B. B. 8, ! prepa.-ed only In the laboratory of The Bwlft Specific Co., 63 Kwlft Bide, Atlanta, 0.., who maintain very efficient Medical Department, where all who have an; blood dlnorder of a stubborn natur. may write freely for advice and ...,,i.t k t . in M M t la anla I u.fu wi i.iniiu. mi.. - everywhere by drug atom, department anej l -i k... i. I ,11 u.ihutltutuaw Ki-uriai iioiri, oiii u.HHi w L- sot accept then.