Friday Evening, Jnne
THE EtJGEivU GUAED
Fage Four
,i i
THE EUGENE GUARD
An Independent afternoon newspaper published dally except Sunday.
' PAUL R. KELTY. Editor EUOENE 8. KELTY. Business Manager
Crazy With The Heat
Offlcea 1037-1041 Willamette Street
Telephone 1200
Associated Press. The
i Associated Press Is exclusively entitled to the use for publics,
lion of all news dispatches' credited to it or not otherwise cred
itor in Ma nDnaf .iiun fh ininl nowa nuhlishcd herein. All
. -
pfcrht. rxt nnhlUaHnn nf anfirial H iHnH tr.hea herein arfi alflO TCSerVOd
The Eugene Guard is a member of the Audit Bureau of Circulations.
I KIIiAY, JUNE 12.
Re-elect Mr. Evans.
THE Eugene school boiird has functioned well this
past year, and its work has boon enrrjed forward
harmoniously. John T. Wviuis, one or us nwmm-.i, i
a candidate for re-election as director at the school
election to be held next Monday. It would appear that
the best interests of the district are to be conserved by
his re-elect ion.
Mr. Evans, through his experience, has become
f.i,;i;..iv with Kflmnl district, affairs and is in touch
with business and work of the district in progress but
uncompleted. The advantage ot ms Knowledge oi uiese
things would be lost to the district by flic election of an
other to his present place, ilis displacement also would
have, at least temporarily, an unsettling effect upon the
teaching and executive staffs. .
If there is any offsetting advantage to all this to
be gained by a change, that advantage is not apparent.
And to say all this is by no means to say anything against
Alta King, Mr. Evans' opponent, who is an estimable
ttitizen. . ,
In the Old Kentucky Home.
THE sun shines but darkly in the old Kentucky home.
Weep no more, my lady, for tears cannot do justice to
the situation. A gentleman, suh, a gentleman of Ken
tucky, has been incarcerated, jailed, thrown in the
calaboose, for the very natural assertion of a Kentucky
gentleman's immemorial prerogative.
John W. Langley, representative in congress from
a bluegrass state district, is-the unhappy victim of an
ungrateful system. Because ho had taken a modicum
of co 'on liquoh in the exercise of the aforementioned
inalienable privilego of a Kentucky gentleman, ho was
haled to court like any common malefactor. Because ho
was haled to court, ho cussed out the judge. Because he
cussed out tho judge ho was put in jail. Yes suh, and
he n gentleman and a congressman.
Shado of tho departed mint julep! My old Ken
tucky homo, goodnight!
A proper function of the church, according to Rev.
Ira Lnndrith, of Ohio; former moderator of tho Pres
byterian church, is to provido beau parlors for girls
who live away from home. Tho beau parlor is defined
in Los Angeles, where tho Landrith idea has been
seized upon as something worthy of exploitation, as a
placo where young couples can meet and court in whole--somo
surroundings. Love will find a way, .Uov. Land
rith reminds tho public, . because there is no denying
of nature, and ho thinks it is up to tho church to guide
lovo in tho right way. Such organizations as the Y. W.
C. A, already in many cities maintain niodil'iod beau
parlors, whero girls are permitted to roceivo their
visitors under chaperonage. Rev. Landrith thinks the
chapcrones should not get in tho way.
Twenty years ago, when ho was n superior judge
in Los Angeles, Curtis I). "Wilbur used to have himself
photographed for the papers in tho poso of telling
bear stories to his children. "Wilbur is secretary of the
navy now, and the other day ho tried to manipulate
tho president of the "United States bel'oro a motion
picture camera at Annapolis besido a cheap actor.
Wilbur had no idea in the old days of judicial dignity
and ho has no idea now of presidential dignity. His is
tho Hollywood type of mind. ;
Under Eugene dateline the Christian Science Mon
itor, in its edition of Juno 2, publishes a news story
which contains a most forcible testimonial to tho prac
ticability of tho work being done by the school of
journalism in tho University of Oregon, it gives tho
names of 24 graduates or former students of that school
who aro now holding responsible positions on the staffs
of Oregon newspapers or with large news gathering
agencies. Every Oregonian may well feel proud of the
university school of journalism.
An upstato New York newspaper says Governor
Al Smith will write for tho Xew York World. at a salarv
of $50,000 a year, after his present term expires. It
is an interesting story. Many men have quit journal
ism for polities in order to increase their incomes, but
tho proposition of quitting politics for journalism for
a similar purpose is novel, Most of us $,")0,000 men
are in journalism from other motives, and at other
salaries than thoso prospectively attributed to Governor
Smith.
His friends wero too strong for young Mr. Scopes,
and all the eminent attorneys whose names anv of
them could think of have been put on his staff for the
Tennessee evolution trial. Maybe if things become too
crowded they will let the attorneys into the courtroom
in relays, or else hold the trial out in the yard.
t was a fine, upstanding, husky lot of young men
that Lane county sent away last night to the Oregon
national guard encampment.
COMMENT OF THE PRESS
or. Wliertin then is the gain to tho
city?
A aort of competitive zeal animated
tin; towns mid cilicB of this country in
(he construction of automobile cnmi..
"Welcome" signs blossomed Ht ever.v
crossroads. Units of free wood ami
water were Jangled. Well, doesn't anv
tourist with money to pay his way
know that ho is welcome? As he tour
ing the camps or the country? Tho
theory that he is going to say fine
thing nhout t,ny particular commun
ity, because its camp pleases him, Is
scarcely tenable. He has u hundred
such cemmunities to remember. Let's
admit that the venture was a delu
sion, dangerous in some of its aspects,
and get out of it quickly.
Truth In Advertising,
(Corvallu Gazette-Times)
Old Frank Kinney, formerly of this
town, is up to bis old tricks in ad-1
vertisiug, judging by u clever folder
wo received this week from liia ufioe
In Eugene. Flunk's folder U clever
in this respect it makes the reader
inrlleve it Is nil true. If the building
arc no good on n farm described, I
Frank is frank about.it. If tho land is j
only medium us a producer, Frank as-1
touches those who are used to Cali
fornia adH by telling tlicm bj.. If his
folder does not Belt a lot of land it
will be because farm land is not sell
ing. Anyway, the folder was unique
em-ugi. that the (ireat Northern sent
5U0 to their Nt. l'aul office and 3(H)
more to their .Seattle office.
a
Tho Law of the Ran go.
(Item) Jtulletin)
"Make yourself at home, but leave
everything in ns good shape ma you
find it." fSiH'h was (he brief messiue
of welcome, in the nature of a request
found talked on the dour of the snow-:
bound wilderness home of Char.Ie
Tunwilo, trapper.
Not because this note was written
by a man who was a victim, in all
probability, of u .Juuuitry storm that
swept over the slope of Broken Top,;
is It of sole interest. It is of primary
Interest oiio might sny sociologist ll
interest because it is an echo of the
old west, of the central Oregon of
pioneer days.
Cattlemen, Rheepmen, "soisorbiir
ranchers of the early years of the
present century left no euch notea on
their cabin cluurs. It was taken for
granted that a wanderer of the rane
lauds was to make himself at home,
even though the host was far distant.
Contents of tho benn kettle, the
stewed prunes, the "canned cow," the
bacon, wero the visitor's without as!i
ing.
And when this visitor went his way,
taking only what was needed, every
thing was left in as good shape as it
wo found. The dishes were washed,
the milk can was sealrd with n plug,
the kettles wero carefully covered.
When the owner of the home return
ed, the only sign of the visitor ww
a note of thanks.
Hut the days of the open rnnge
laud havo paroed. Tho law nf the
rsngo has Wen forgotten by many,
never learned by others. The door -f
the stockman's cabin is padlocked.
''Keep out',' is a sign found on ninny
doors, Ken the trapper with u cabin
in the deep recesses of the fore.il
finds it necessary to tack n noto on
his door.
All because tho law of the range
has not been observed. In many cncs
it has been ruthlessly broken. Ho ohm
in the prairie country and in the
mountains have been invaded by de
stroyers. These destroyers linvo gone
their way, leaving dirty dishes, fund
stainett table, uirswept floors, no
notes of thank.
It was very likely experience with
such" visitors ns these, not with thoSt
who respected the law of the range,
that caused Charlie iieorge, to tnvR
on his ci bin door the note, "Make
Vourself nt home, but leave every
thing in ns good shape as you find it.'
Abandon tho Auto Camp Fsd.
(The Oregonian)
People nre beginning to perceive
the drawbacks to the municipal auto
mobile camp. It is charged, ami on
ample evidence, that the auto tramp,
n vagrant peculiar to the time, fre
quents auch enravanseries, whitb are
In effect an aid to vagrancy. It is
charged that cantagious disease
spread there, and that various other
nodal problems are presented, The
city fs urged further to Investigate
and Tegulate these problem. This tt
should not Ho. No tioh duly devolves
uii it. The city atwuld (.title ait l hew
WHY TRY TO PROLONG HUMAN LIFE?
' : " ' " 7
Public Hoalth Scrvico Answers That Each Individual Is
Asset to Society
By CHARLES P. STEWART
(NEA Service Writer)
WASHINGTON, .Tunc 12. The
Public Health Service claims
great credit for medical science, on
account of its success, during the last
two or three decades, in stretching
out the average human life longer
and longer.
Individual humans like to keep on
living, unquestionably. When one of
them pays a doctor to keep him hang
ing on ns long as possible, it assured
ly is the doctor's business to tlo his
best and earn his money. If he does
a good job he's entitled to feel proud
of it.
Hut as a broad general proposition,
what's gained by prolonging the aver
age human life? Ultimately people
din anywny. Whnt difference does it
make, in eternity, to them or to any
body, at what average age they do it?
.",-,
This may sound like n ridiculous
question, but when I put it up to the
Public Health Service it kiuda stump
ed 'em. Finally,-.'' Well," they ans
wered, over the telephone, "a human
being's an asset to society, so :' it
seems to us it follows, the longer lie
lives the more of an asset he is." ;:
There was no use arguing wit Ei so
illogical nn outfit, ro I dropped it. As
we all know, however even young,
husky human beings arc .assets only
where society needs them, ns in not
too thickly populated countries.
And right now economists and bio
logists are worrying about world
overcrowding. In China, nlrcady, it's
a misfortune when n new average
human being is born n misfortuiio to
him and a misfortune to the society
he's born into.
Nobody but politicians and bankers
need work up any enthusiasm over
news that France and Italy have tak
en certain very short little steps to
ward "settlement" of the 0 million
and Rome odd a mere matter of a
couple of hundred millions hardly
counts in such transactions dollars
of war debts they owe ; the United
States.
The very most France ond Italy
will or can do will be to say, "Yes,
we owe this money," and give bonds
for it.
The politicians thereupon will re
port to the country that they've ac
complished something wonderful as
it really will be, to get France and
Italy to go even that for and ask to
be re-elected on the strength of it.'
And the bankers will have the
bonds to unload on the public ot
about 30 millions profit for them
selves. : Rut it isn't likely this generation
of Americans, and perhaps not the
next one, will Ree much of the actual
money even the interest.
"Not worth what it would cost to
keep them afloat." This verdict by
W. R. Mayo, Henry Ford's chief en
gineer, sums up the entire reason why
the government has so much trouble
in finding private owners who will
agree to keep its wnr-built merchont
ships in operation.
Nobody wonts them even as a gift.
And, ns Mayo adds, they're "poor
material" for the very junk man.
I In New York
Ry .TAMES W. PKAN
VKW YORK, June 12. This Is to
be a brief In defense of the ape.
I trust that it will coino to the atten
tion of Mr. Rryon, Mr. Harrow and
others engaged in tho monkey con
troversy at Dayton, Tenn.
Having just returned from Coney
Island L am firm in 1 lie belief that it
is high time that humans cease ma
ligning apes by claiming common an
cestry with them.
First let us establish the mise en
scene. It is blistering hot. Collars
wilt. Hat bands stick to the head.
The murky nir is made heavier with
the frying grease of potato chips and
woffles mingling with whiffs of cheap
perfumes ond sachets and that par
ticular zoological atmosphere that
hovers over a mass of the great un
washed. Here there is a mulatto waving o
bejeweled hand before the face of n
white girl, claiming to hove hypnotic
power over her while onlookers stand
with mouths ngnpe. .
There a dowager of indeterminate
age and doubtful origin being pointed
to as o "beautiful muscle dancer" who
will givo her performance inside the
tent.
In a "fun house" two pigmies slap
ping women with cracking boards
nud shocking men with an electric
rod, secure in the knowledge that
their size protects them from retalia
tion, having their one grand fling at
superiority over their physical supe
riors. A gnller.r of funny mirrors, fnt per
sons laughing nt thin reflections of
themselves and thin persons laughing
nt fat reflections of themselves.
Sodawater cowboys paying a dime
EVOLUTION
THE DAWN OF LIFE
By Percy W. Cobb, B, 3.. M. D.
iliirmions by iioinn out of the bust
n.'s. nf lli)rning llin (0rt of hos
pitality. It should dole the camp
mid rHinnul.h uoh service to prlvalo
pntrriirisf, iiomseil ml resiilstril.
It 1. t.i lis douht'tl that much gcol
vrr mine of it, tlihor to thn .mor
tnini r of the rniorttiiinl, Hrspon.ibk,
uVslrnMr tuurhts nrf well able t0
for what Ihry rccrivf, i:J iios.ili'y
nro lpiroui of u soor would In-
"'is urtifU-inl hospltajlty
ilrllislly forced on thrin. Tollrisfi
who inimot ,iy, who ronstiiutr tli"
frntrrnlij' known m mitoinobiln
tmioi, r clfsrl)- iindrstMbl visit-
lhirinn rrcrnt trsts It w found
that tbr mrrraKr ttmr rlttpsinit be
tween tho sending and receiving of
s telegrnm is 40 minutes in the
Hrlti.li Isles.
A THOUGHT
Alt liars shall have their part
In the lake which burjielh with
fire and brimstone. Key 21:8.
...
If thou are wise, incline to
truth: fcr truth, not the srui
Mance. rentsins in it. n!ce.
Saarii.
... -nMTZ
to vhtp horses into a wild gallop
around a 200-foot track, taking the
corners so sharply that the steeds
can hardly keep their feet. Finally
one of them crashes Into ft fence and
Is knocked silly, while the horse,
brainier than his rider, escapes unhurt.
Walking down the midway and on
the boardwalk men, women and chil
dren slobbering over dripping eara of
corn, tossing the cobs under the feet
of others. Pigs eat in one corner of
their sty and keep their food out of
their wallow.
And now into an exhibit of freaks.
Kookoo, the bird lady with her hair
shaved off to accentuate the odd
shape of her head. Her visitors
look upon her with commiseration.
And the armless lady who writes with
her toes and the Indian who swallows
fire without feeling it and the im
mense fat woman, they all are ob
jects of pity of those who are giving
full play to their superiority com
plexes. And as we go out there sits a little
monkey in a cage in silent and solemn
wonder at the queer .creatures who
poke (fueer things into tbe cage des
pite the sign that reads, "Don't Feed
the Monkeys."
He acts with great decorum. In
finite wisdom lies in his eyes 'and yet
he is perplexed with those who pa
rade past nun. Some of them should
be in and he should be out.
Never mind, little monkey in the
cage. You, at least, are protected. I
bow to you. And if, perchance, you
and I are in some manner related, I
am proud.
Tom Sims Says-
TT'S disconcerting to see a lipstick
and wonder what part will reach
some other man's face.
Being dignified doesnit leave much'
time for working.
A girl has to act eilly else her
friends will learn she is old enough
to know better.
If you get out and work to pay the
doctor it will cure you.
Even if a Havana newspaper did
burn, the editor didn't have to hunt a
bootlegger.
A Roston man was jailed for kiss
ing a girl before they had been prop
erly introduced.
io many tourists are going to Eu
rope there will be no talk shortage
next winter. i
Dancing is criticized mostly by
people with stiff joints.
A mnn eloped with, his brother's
bride recently. All the world loves a
good lover.
Just as wo had sworn off reading
crime news Tennessee started an evo
lution argument.
FUures any -we hove 18,000,000
auto. Rut a Cleveland drunk, driv
ing, reduced it by two. t
When tbe children's vacation begins
the'r mother's ends.
.."
Hnnl-g will nt nnvrhtner. hut. don't
make one of your hubby. .
In Lighter Vein
Outdone
"Why, John, what happened to the
parrot thnt used to seem so happy in
his cage hanging on the club house
porch?"
hy, you see, sir, he was quite
proud of his nbility to swear -when
we first got him, but after hearm the
fancy oaths comin' continually from
the golf course he finally hung his
head an' jest died of shame."
Not Entirely Innocent
(Chicago Journal)
'What's the matter, little girl?"
'Two boys were fightin' and I got
hit with a stone."
"That's it; the Innocent bystander
always gets hurt."
'Hut I don't know ns I was an inno
cent bystander. I was whnt they was
fightin about!"
Force of Habit
(Xew Haven Itegister)
Pnssenger (formerly - telephone
girl) Porter, why didn't you call me
as I told you?
Sleeping-Car Forter Ah did, lady.
Ah sho' did. Ah sade "Seben-thirty.
ma'am" and you sade "Line's busy."
Disturbing Knowledge
(Host on Transcript)
It isn't what he doesnt know thnt
triubles a mnn, but what he knows he
doesn't know.
Today's Cross-Word Puzzle
jf; MR-HAPpy
fMorm07,0nr.';: r:!nt:!' "Bure- bn ..mp.....
? Torm ot oroamim bnAU,R L . . r
structure, mier..;;.-?: .Z'T"'" """l...'n. "mOt0- "
; ,M . . mwvcQ aooui in me water ty putty
, ing forward ,ny part of it. one . dr.gi)ing th, re,t 0yf j",,,,,
r,.tor. ' " "'"'"
In
its ;
I FIND THEIR MEATS ;
GWVTE TO MY TASTE -AN
OROtR'S SENTcu
vhth utmost haste
YOU'LL find our meats
and our methods to
jour taste. When you
give us an order wo at
tend to It at once. With
us, "at once" means im
mediately. Watch for Mr. Happy
Party
EUGENE i
PACKING CO.
j675WiilainetteSti
Don't let this puzzle take yon any longer than 15 mi
simple, because of the msjority of short words In it j .ut"- It's
this in less than 10 minutes. Mepta shenM
0
Mite
a I "I tj 'l t( h & TTM
3jZZI! rr
j s"j il
I til 1 r-
HORIZONTAL
One of the senses.
Playing card.
Kngine.
Pertaining to a title.
Pitcher.
Ancient Persian coin.
To allot.
Total.
To tear.
Mineral spring.
To accomplish. '
Powerful snake. i
Call for help.
Father. ,
To devour.
Constellation.
2000 pounds.
Small child.
Sixty grains.
Gold or silver.
Manufactured.
Nearly exhausted.
To steal.
To drag along.
Narrow opening for a cola.
Bereaved wife.
Quarrels among nations. '
Electrified particles.
Tiny.
To lubricate.
To hem.
Toward.
Wooden trough for carrying mor.
tar.
Beverage,
(iolf term.
To pet.
Npikclet on barley.
Fence.
Flower leaf. .
To rave.
Easier.
Marshy,
To saw into dimension lumber,
Carried on long slender sticks.
VERTICAL i
A marble.
One in cards (nl.).
Bush.
Seventh note in scale.
To finish.
Twitching.
Preposition of place.
Pieces of meat bnck of the up
per portion of sirloin.
Olive tree.
To make lnce.
11. .Repaired.
12. Organ of hearing.
13. Point.
14. Refunded money.
17. Inlet.
lo Jf.il" rC,atcd t0
24. Rowing instrument.
26. Upper human limb.
2T. Sun.
28. Seed pouch.
30. Claw of an animnl.
32. Nest of an eagle.
33. Forbidden.
34. Evergreen trees.
30. "Witticism.
35. Rush.
30. To cut down grass.
43. Oriental cruitnrH.
44. Game played with three or'litt
caras.
4.". To marry,
40. Humor.
4S. Corded cloth.
49. To turn as on a pivot
81. Grief.
53. Meadow.
r6. Assists.
fi7. Upright shaft
50. Terrible.
01. Duration.
82. By.
63. To knock lightly.
65. Naked.
67. Atmosphere.
08. Bench in a church.
00. To drink dog fashion.
71. Angry.
73. Melancholy note.
75. To behold.
Answer to yesterday's crosB-trorf
puzzle:
iPlPlAhlElsnsloOTTpl
RA T Ak iM A P EEMTll
OID O RK yA L ITrHP AJN
L I PflB 0 R E SMP erT
ooeSl i sIsBtTTdeIs
nBp oa"cnSIhre"ast
GIE L 0S jEjSfjE a R lBr
a p a ElTEtijArsh JbEa
T 1 NjsEEAjvjEXrj T A T
L . DEE AjRjllTjfflC A HI
O S gjMlA iMsMCJA M Efl
SlP O RlE'SHMjQiPlElRINiS
25 Years Ago
From The Guard of June 12, 1900
WHEN the fire bell sounded this
nftcmOOn nil thn nnr. (... Un.
longing to the fire department in the
city hall was unhoused and stnrted
to the fire, nil if tlm u.imn
drawn by a team. Just ns the chemi
cal engine turned the corner of Eighth
Nirecu ann uuiamcue, Fire Warden
M. S. Hubble attempted to Ret onto
tho engine by running in between tlie
wheels. Hy some manner he was
knocked down and the hind wheel of
the mn rhino t-nn nvnt liio tnft eirlA in
cluding his face and leg. His right
ipg was orotten.
The reception of President and
Mrs. Strong will he nt their resi
dence in Collier hall tomorrow even
ing between !) and 11 o'clock.
The women of tho university butt
established a tradition. Knch jw
from now on will he held n procession
'in which the women and women erad-
uates will march with many frrns nud
flowers. The event Inut evening tsi
very beautiful.
Urgent C. C. Iteokman and family
nre in Eugene for commencement.
F. W. Osburn Is home from Port
land. r r ;ii,;B In tn nrMrfRfl 8 COD
ill, .., 1 IIMlin if i.- -
vention of Woodmen of the World"
Medford Tuesday.
"Behold, I Have Gained Five Tal
ents More." Matt. 25:20.
The servant who returned interest on his master's moner.
in the parable of the talents, was "made ruler over mW
things," while he who brought back the talent alons
"cast into utter darkness."
Like the master of old, you should frown on money that is
bringing no return. Let us be the servant who safes""1"
your surplus who wisely Invests it and causes It to gr.
We havo been tho wise and trustworthy servant of Eugene
savers for many years. Trust your funds to us and enjof
the surety that they are well cared for.
U S. NATIONAL
BAN K
Ijhe Bank of Service
EUGENElOANfr SAVINGS BANK.
Cfie Bank Jor Savings
CHIROPRACTIC
Its growth and success merits your investigation. j
Headache, high blood pressure,
rheumatism. a, ,
bowell trouble aro cured hv scientifically cc-ordin. ,
principles ot Chiropractic with electrotherapy.
Phone 355 J
DR. GEO. A. SIMON
OVER PENNEY'S STORE