i'ago iUiylit
THE EUGENE 1)I? - OUXftD
Friday Evening, Xpr. 21, 1922
The Eugene Daily Guard
uuusucu every Kveuin Eicept Sur ay
-By the
Guard Printing Co.
Elk' Building, K8-78 Seveulli Ave. Wmt
CHA8. U. FISIIKU J. K. HHELTON
Telephone!:
10 BiiKiuvHM office
1200 KdiLotial Itouma
Foreign Reprtentatlvee:
Ralph R. Mulligau, ;iu Kant 4L'd Street,
New fork City.
C. J. Anderson, Marquette BulMing,
Chicaea, 111.
.Bdwin C. Willlnma, riohart Kuildiug,
Ban Francisco, (,'ulif.
FXJl.li LEASKI) WIKE HKI'OHT OF
THB UNJTKU PKHSS ASSOCIATION
Subscription Rates; J
By Carrier, per year in advance. ...$5.00 j
By Moil, iu Luue, County, per year $4.00
-!'"
1'IUDAV, Al'llIL iil.
PARAGRAPHS
By Robert Qulllen
Camptuiut of the modern child: "Ah,
parent f, are aueh u care."
A vegetarian diet is naid to In good
for the complexion. Vanity fine,
Health bint: Don't rat too much Nwi'fh
rheftse. It may cause, you to yodel iu
your sleep.
In Japan the Halo of liquor lo minors
is forbidden. We're all rated us minorH
over here,
Thft ArbiK-klo trinlH have Tennyson's
well-known brook backed completely off
the boards.
There must bo Home epidemic
among jail inmatn. They nru fr
' ever breaking out with something.
If n, girl hiiH a oiie-pU're Hk nil she
rnu easily offset the handicap with a
oijc -piece bathing suit '
KcW American song: "JIuuiper to
a;nl hub to huh, the cam ure mo thick
that their fuudcrs rub,"
i
' J toyally Is up nfininst It these days.
Over in Kuropo It likely Is difficult even
to keep crowns on teeth.
Bryan may be right ahotit his iinceH
tors after nil. Ths monkey runs on all
fours; Air. ilryuu on all occasions.
The rulhball season Is under way. Wo
used to call It "hasebull." you remember,
The slang for It, is "Itaho-bull."
; Wp need ft nation ftdl of tender eon
BcienccH and calloiised IiiiikIh. The thing
Be cms to ho reversed at present.
An the thermometer climbs, the
livernge mini finds it InereaKtiiKly
dlfl'icult to get excited about, be
can hc of the threatened coal strike.
If the average man can't think of nti.v
thlnk else to fret about, he'll worry he
cause the zebra's stripes are on cruolfcd,
fiomo day n race of supermen may be
evolved with arms long enouiib to fit the
sleeves that innuufneliirea attach to our
tililrU.
. . .
r people i the ttniteii
:1iritX'tiTi"
- '
Tlin number of
Rtates who cannot
thuti two million,
CIS,
Half the people are busy Inventing
remedies for the world' troubles. The
reHt are kept Inventing antldntca for Die
remedies.
If tho funupr cries vainly for a fiipiare
deal, il Is only n ipirntion of time until
the public will cry vainly for a mpuirc
Meat.
It's bnrd to tell whut would happen
to this little phi not of oiu-H if golfer
'Babe" Hutb should hiippen to swing too
low nod Hi l ike tho earth with his club.
; RIPPLING RHYMES
By Walt Main
SOME OF THE SYMPTOMS.
I'm burniuc with fever, I'm shakinR
with chill m I'm weary of t.Tkimc I sc
Hatboway'B pills; lie snys they nru din
ners nt curing the flu; I'm, worse after
taking n biiHhel or two, The ttmte In
my mouth Is a sight to be xeeu, tay ton
(tun is nil furied with a fmiKii tlmt'K
frcpn; my appetiteV uoiie and thin lif is
a frost, and I imuieIi till 1 aound likt a
motttr'H cxhannt. For ll'ithswav's pills
may bo good for the manne; for fancied I
Minvnnrn "' " i l"'j III (.
art no (tood when you're down with the
flu. Rom ft Spnnlnrd invented the flu.
I'vn been told, suppbinlinc the erip mid
th old-fssbioncd cold; and when I feel
better it will he my nim to Inrnt tbnt
Ppsniard nud climb on h frnme; thr
man who will uproot Htieh n beiistly ilis
Oiwr. and nh it In imtliec nci-okH the
wide sciiM, deserves what he'll net when
I rump on bis trail, the cold-eyed nvn
irr releuttrsM nud pale. 1W lUthn
wat too. wilt pnfH under the rod for
trading bin pill for inv html I y earned
wad. So, dreniuiusr of v'ne!uu,e, 1
shiver and nbtikc. nml sirxle wilh fever.
And strsnp and aehe; my tides nre nil
rusted, I brent t. a wilh a IiUm, I sound
like All auto wIiokc cylindem minw.
REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS
F. t Brown et ux to K. II. Trnm v
M Its 1. 7, 1. Pi, ia. M, IU. 20,
Itrookfield add. Oeswell, $10,
Willinm II. Bartholomew et : to
Walter P. Sorennon et in Lt 8. blk, S,
1st add. to Kincnid Purk. $10.
lrVr .Wrnra
add. tottnge Grove, $HMKt,
U. I' . Alien et UK to II. Y. J K(tett
Truct in. 17 8 It 0 W. $1
R. A. Frickson to Nora K. Ailrn
rr f u i n i (iik
Ku llHI tothinto Ahmausou
e-bL:i4 acc. .U-lb-U , fiV.
AN APPEAL TO
Otto II. Kahn, a prominent i'inaneier of New York, Las
written, a book entitled "A I'lea for -Prosperity," which lias
Leon published by "The Committee of Aiiierieaii Business
Men." We haven't had time to read it, but like some dev
otees of current fiction, turned to the last chapter to satisfy
a curiosity about the way it all would end,, and we were fflad
to find a little sane advice, in the summing up of the prob
lems of the day. -Mr. Kahn concludes:
til l' t ,, , , j t ,
ii is a tact wen aiiesieti
mm eiscwiiere, nun our. oi me stagnation ol serious and long
continued industrial depression springs (he poison-growth
of economic delusion. And I here come forth in such times a
number of those who mistake that harmful growth for a
healing plant, incited io that belief, nr encouraged therein.
1.,. l....... t. 1 i .i i i ... . . ; .
Jfuueis wnu MMi-UttPClVCHL 01' ( lol 1 1 ((Tilt l V iOlit on do-
COIVlNtf to ritTVO their OWfl 0D(1h. IjV til' admixture of the
lr.rri'fw u.liiQ rr io-imwinnn on1
- r-- n.vv. iiv
U?etlur with the tclctcrious
rogiufry, Jajiaslio thinH are eunv.iH'Ut nwl offered to the
l-eople as remedies, when. In fact, tliev are as Minding and
maiming as wood aleshol.
"Jt is a chanieteristie of such periods that there are
brought to the public notice, loudiv and fervently, sundry
cure-alls for the ills of the day which their discoverers pro
claim and often honestly believe to be new and unfailing rem
edies, but which, as a matter of fact, nvc hoary with age,
having been tried on this old globe. of ours at one time or
another, in one of its parts or another tried and found want
iii'.' and discarded alter . sad disillusionment. Nothin" in
history is more pathetic than the record of the instances
when one or the other of the peoples of the world rejoic
ingly followed a new lead which it was promised and fondly
believed would bring it to freedom and plentv of happiness
cmly to find itself, instead, suddenly on the old and only too
well-trodden lane which goes through suffering and turmoil
to disappointment and' reaction.
"We may not flatter ourselves with fb 1
present period will prove an exception. A philosopher hasfe
wild that the greatest lesson of history is that humankind jwi
it-wiiwH 10 team h.ihi neeu me lessons ol history. Once more '
iho. rniiernia vniona nt fli -,..,.v.n - . ,'
tIfi railfifHIfl Volvos of fho nr,
, K(-7 1 1 J u,""n" Ul "OllOlllie, SOCial arid
jmiiiiMii quackeries and of the vendors of tickets to Utopia
are being heard in the land.
-u.-KiMni mm imc money arc
, .. f-i '.. 1.' 4,wn. inrii ill II il 1-
OWCd resting Place and nn effort i Iir.ino- m,ln l k,..,d,
iowuu resting piaee and nn t
life ntrain into that skeleton.
nln j
"Wo must not put our beads into the sand in the face of
these menacing signs of the times, nor must, wc lm in r,.r
Ol them. Or Permit Olirselvrxi 1a
ennnot moot tl.nm K,r 1.1,1. ' 1" V . , J ,, K, l," " "L ils 'r a.lvoral.s arc now
eanriot meet tl em by blunt denials or by calling hard names . to a.imit timt ih Oron .liicot
ftoeinl anal political economies, the functions of cnnir.nl tbo i"'i"'.'"'-v , '."V " ""i t -chooinB
nroblnniB nf -h-ndo or.,1 c t. Jn. V ,' ,.. liublii- ofiiniils mid srcm-niK rcKiionsiblu
piomorns ot tiatlo, and so forth, are complex and difficult ..(. i in lis ..Aik a fii,u
Huo.iccxs. Jhoy lend themselves all too easily to fallacies l".N '!" 01,1 e"v'l"i"" y- n r
misin format on and misinterpretation ' ! 'c 1"t"'1' 8I,0,lmu"" '.'"'r1 "I"1
urn . , '""""iLipn-iatlon. turn was ramimnt. I mii-r (bo forini'r.
vve must seek to counteract false or irresponsible nrl""',y "'"poiwiwiiij' him i-viiiioruK-ii
ignorant assertions with nlnin nnfinnt nmi ..,,ti,r i' i ,Um wilh partis, .m.i u,(. cn,k, ibe
iilinr, l,,f Z , i i ' I P'll'tUlt mid trilthtul explan- IdiMiianoK and tin, ignoramus foist, them.
anon, mir, we must he sure to keep oup own. minds ouen to Kl'lv"s f"''"''"''1 ' """ itb only prt
tlie merit of new ideas- we mnt lm vn.if,lUr i ...i ' ,n'ti(m hk a (iimiifinition.
e-l-ess wn Trmt I'll 'l , W eleotno pro- 'li, HWn primary law bm utterly -
giess, no must do our share, in good laith and willingly to ""oywi tin- Dmnoiiaiic puny in onwm
redress grievances and to aid in briiiLnno- nl,m.t o, n.:,L,t ' ,l,,"t' ""-y M''ri.y J"-ty i
attiunable degree of well-being fr the people. h
"Jf we fail to play our part in contending for the rial it
WO have, no (III,, t.. ' .1. . ,1 h ' !''lLt
REDS IN ARMY AND NAVY
The New York World! is inclined to nokn ftm nt S!ik.voImi.v
Weeks of tho navy for being so
oliition in the ranks of his branch of the military service. Tt 1
lnids that Secretary Weeks of the army is much calmer his
communicHtioii the subject more formal ami less fright-1
eneti, yet lie is not without nn. understanding ol the serious-
1ICSS Of tile affair. lie is "('()i-lix.Ult of the faer tluir tlm
communisi prograiiuno lias s tresset the desmi h I I v
ing disloyalty among the personnel of the nrmy and navv "' "v ('.'!" 0"!-v ".'""''y
and' citizens at large." And he has no doubt that, ''ln1lnv.omd,irlgis!',,ti;wl
loyal Americans have lent their support to movements which
wero inspired by radical oriraniaera '.
, i . . . " , , .
lO.Val Americans have lellt l ieu'
41 ' it '
ovr this is pretty had, ot course, but on the whole Mr
Joeks is inclined to think that a good solid grounding in
?,lK) Americanism at the training camps may defeat
t10 yl, continues the AVorhl. Perhaps rumors of
tl.n .,,,,..,.:, i' i i -i n . -'""I'" 'iii.n.i.-i ui
me comeisioii ol liemn to modern business methods have
reached the e-eneral staff. Perhimn snnin bmill,lc0
has brought in the astounding news that the only traces of I Viuu reZiy'rvve d;md Si
the bolsheviki left in New York state are the law wlnoli s"y- """''"'''v " eomprnmiae be
Senator . Lusk framed up tt, sup, tress them. 1 f 5r "weefi l-nt" TX'TCZ
UOOHH t "WHtell lllinself IO Will ht I'lndlmr m,f 1,f Un wllrt """"p reform to renlore resnonsibilitv in
I . . - , "
jevi iiuiou is over and that there never was any revolution
in this country anyway. He might bear up under the tidings
hilt he would bo sure to forget, himself sometime and tell
''"by about it, and it would certainly bo the death of
Air. Donby. '
To-n in Connecticut thero
heiress in the world. AVImn
wl!i10r0 TUyJio rmiaod to be distributed a We
v 1" .,, 'UV, IIUvia"aiBf out tuo most mmortant i
oliuise of Ins will follows: .
i. givo to my daughter Doris tlio kevs to tho
brick vault in my cellar, and T givo her and her
alone Iho entiro contents of said vault, consisting
ot wet goods put up in bottles, the same to be hers
lo rover.
President Harding has won
.... ui mo pui.no innt the
anil V
ami navy expenses has
ittivrt nf A ..4 1..... i ..
reseutative M'Arthur of Oregon, was a leader in tlio fight
to saddle the lug additional expense imon tl, .i,aii,,,i t
AVine and
and women used to cause the downfall of a good
"'ti. Now as illustrated by the latest Portland trmr-
.1 nnv nn
o y, flappers and moonshine
lucrative.
ii - , ....
May jo to l. has been set
T,o , .Ti1". 01 ."".
whole lifty-twu weeks iu the
A Colorti.lo nftoMl'mncr speaker hvpol uY;ut wliilo ex
i.immiK how totally uiipreimrtMl lie was Tor the oeeasion
.May wo hope the wurnhiff will have a salutary effect T
. . ,
A PPSWlCllt IlMl'thU IS tletei'tOI nel to llllVO offitMellOV ill
. Pv;'nn.nt if ho has to put every n-pul.liean olTiee seeker
mo jtiu io gel U,
Lillian liussell advocates
, . i . , .
f.ra U;' Ul XV'.V c.'UUl11 1 8"0
VUUl ivi .lain llUIU 1
COMMON SENSE
,. .
ny history, in our own country
.1 ft
viuwiiuii.u i :itrinui mi'hw n-
siiltHtjniccs of envy and doina-
P i
Even the dead bones of green-
Doing taken, from their unhal
"""h w i-uLiil- I
n.irllTr . i.i. nr
complain, if things go wrong."
greatly excited over a red rev-
, , i .1 i . ,. ,
ie lias stressed the desirability ot breed -
' " . '.'u ...tiny
Slmnorl; to ninvntiw.nla -lii..li
r
resides the most soudit-for
fn Htot .,.,.. Ar rr
his fight for a big
lour power treaty would cut
already been dispelled'. Reiv
... . '. . '
are just as effective it'
SS al-
apart as a "prosperity week "
wl'y M "M.mhI it. 'over the
vcarf
a five year liolidav for
...... ,
mnm-
i-miu tnu v IIIMU ii.,ii'1...iii1i11i,t t ....
WOI"k 0Ul HOUU ri" l,la lko." ,hw i!
THE MIDDLE GROUND
By MARION
TI I H I'AMJI.Y QCAliltlCh
C'Uanii-r IS.
A climax of a sort came on a Sunday.
1. littler bud been cttiiig well fast
enough u.w to git on long drives and
fairly Jong walks. Ilia hollow cbeeka hud
iiiiii'u qui ut.u uui uustt e" uiu not ruurc
out f bin tiue. jic. bud nen koii.ii
mil. H llllv hill a ritual, u It I. I, u .tl.iii I
sister, and had vuim off inu h the hr,i
and not even Hlfuieil by the struggle iif
that vitforuutt young lady.
"You'll be going to jtiuri-b thin Aorn
ing, 1 rxnxl," Mrs. Talbot aaid gently
ut I lif brcakfiiKt titbit. '
Cluire'H mouth at owe went down ut
tin- curm-m and he .Iuiioihi at Luther.
1 he wtml! fa,nily wre anHeinbled about
" . ' . ' ... J"L -'o- ,r
uan sut heouuv m nig cimir, waiting nip
urri-ttl ! l,titmUl In' Ufv"U w luu-
j:fiLiu( in irum ijih swim.
Mrn. 1 alloL )ookfi anxiously at (h
muffiiiH. wliii-h wotild lip no fM'xl if thiy
were cold. .Iiiiw nut fniilt im vci-v niiii-h
j hori'd by every thinjr. Chit re was itokx
beeause une liuted Kettmp up early, aiifl
Ainv luted Hnmlny on f'nerat prineil.
"I don't think I ih well enouvli "
it w.ih the, old cxeune she aiwayti inarlo.
'iih, H-e iniKbt try it," Luther mtid
hurriedly.
rijiire frankly pouted.
"I hnte ehiireh," hh burst out. "It
makes me nervous,'
"Does it make you 'nervntiM to wnr
hbip your t'reator," Jordan asked seaih
intrlv. ''June, of fourse. you're going V" Mrs,
Talbot was ko up.et lv the row nhe hud
innocently ntarted that he wjis rendy
to weep.
''Well. no. I don't think I shiill. Jane
said. "It doesn't make me nervous as it
does Claire, it just doesn't interest nie.
I never went at college. Join throutih
a wet ceremony of words isn't religion to
me f can't find my Creator in that."
And where rim vou find I Inn Jor
dan would have annihilated his fuiuilv
ith his eyes, could even alone have
killed.
"' ",y '"imi-ntory m
Hiiiil r-li-ei fully . "In tbc
In my hiboiatorv at eolienc." Jane
Haid eheertully. "In the wonderful com
.biniulotm of HmmkulK. ii.kI tho ma,v.-
"" intniuio nimhiiu'r.v of tim buimin
ystcm. in the bi'iilinir nowrr of lit'rliH
itml ilnias." Jnm; wiik ijiiilc I'vidcntly
I , ' ..i.-i
;s,l,l'l "! untccliniial aa pnaailili-. Hut
lor bi'Uri.rM, at lwist bi'l' nilMiits, KraHped
I'olbiiiK of this. .
DIRECT PRIMARY FAILS
(Salem Ciinidil .Imirnal.)
nny state where such a law is iu force.
Along with the ileslriichon or the Demo
cratic party has gone the demoralix.atiou
and disintegration of Ihe Republican par
ly and a similar fate awaits every ma
jority party iu direct primary states As
a 11. alter of fact, all that is left of either
party in Oregon, as far as slate orga
nixnliou is concerned, is the name. . of
parly responsibility, party discipline, par
ly solidarity, there is none, l'ersoiial
government, has replaced parly govern
ment. 'I'll.' majority, wilh ils nersnnul and
mi'vollL!:!,;. '!:;,ir.,!,..l"!"'r....:'t
WJ "'glutei- ' aid the candidacy ur
Inputs' lirS in-ptiblic
i"ml ""' majority party sieadiiv swells its
,!-'"l''.'-l'i Hif minority iitiny twin-
wiin ine result, inat. party hues come
1" "" nothing, there i but one party
hi name.
primary, nor other
"'" f"!,in"rs . "f l'ill,,1 f'-demi
li:!:ri,"lT,",,..L"S"!b',
I-"C f.'--"m ...... nun cm piiiicil UV
""' f',:'mers of either federal or slate
system of
.,, ,,,,.11,,,-c!, UCVISCU Ul II)
"""I"".'" ' representutivc o.
VutZ nece,,!;r''lhigKr''
r' ".'""" 1
Z 'T , !,V ZT?i. ii" i"
in those in-
dcle-
rnnient.
type of
level of
.nmiiiir
iit.iuircni taut until the mass of people
I1''1"'" '"terest in gnvernn t. and
i '"-tt-.-i- f.l,i.tii, .prevails, direct primar-
govcrunient. seems imperative.
HAWLE is opposeo v
(Itosehnrg News Heview)
Senator Norlihul. niudidiite for con
eressnian in opposition to fongressuian
Hawley. is making a whirlwind canipnign
of the disirict and incidentnllv making
effective inromls into ltriwl..v'a ,.il.,..A.i
popularity. Mr. Noiblad has Ihe reputa
(tion of being a man qualified in every
Ke,7n.lV:o,;:;,P
interests of the
nresentutives ui
;) -IT
". fl "-v
1. ". He has a wlinla lnf
that, is lnckittv tn n,i,u
who nt present retuesent this state and
his success at the nrimnrr nlnrtil.,n
nieans much for Ihe slate of Oregon. So
little has come from Mr. llnwlev, so far
as actual results are concerned.' that the
people of the first oeugressional district
feel that a change nt this time would
be most opportune, fifteen, years in the
house of representatives ought to claim
some distinction for a congressman, l.ut
aild'"1 V-"' "f M,1,vll'-V. "'we seems
.... n-i..i,i ci miv inaiei-iai ennnge.
I 21
i ?'"T" . !f.. . f
LEGISLATORS "KID"
VOLSTEAD
I. A eoin-
rnlifornla
sought Andrew Volstead. Minnesota con.
gressinnn. Thev wanted to thank th
oriainntor of the prohibitum enforce
ment law.
"Wliv, before Volstead became known,
grapes sold for $1'J a ton in California."
said 11. Wilson, chsirmnn of th.. .t,.lcu.
''"' "N'ow grapes are selling for U10
la ton and gt-ni.e farmers are getting
rich."
The commission is alitdyin acricnl-
l""'"' i"-"1'!""""
STATEMENT NOT FORO'S
Wsshington. April 20. Henry Krd
did not itutlmrlie the statement that he
bad repaid the government $'.tot.0t
in war profits' ntv.uiltnir to a letter re-
reived tod'iv by tb. trennrv deimrtment.
The letter, wrtten by Ford' weere
! tnry. di-hired Ford wrh not rcspoasibte
I for the statement nml did not see ii until
after it was published.
A match trted it! The revolt : A
Brest forest fire which destroyed timber
and property, drove nwav wild ennip,
rind tomtit hiiiiti'ic nud rjiinpine croniiN
Into deqi1tte !i-.te-. The lt"itHf. Itvenk
-onr niHich in two hi sure it s out be
ibun with Ueurj Trvuip, WcstllU
ULBICAM
Jane woobl Komeday b a uiHrvi-Ious
ph) sii-ian. -. She bud a real iralot'a devo
tion to ber prof4Mon. Sin felt tbat
tin- rnysiery of life and death lay in her
bunds when she was dissertin:;. and tb;tr
if she could only know a little more about
this eoniplei s.vxeiii of nerves and im
pulses, sbf eoui.l really aain 'an iasiitbt
lulu ihe. eauses and the results of thinxs.
Itut bow eouid these old people, and
bow eperially could little .Mrs. Talbot
know tbat the Kill devolion to the tusk
of improving and soolbins and proton?
init life, hud in it any elements of rc
liuijnV (liiee sh' hud fieep.d inside a
medical hook of .lunc's- to find a map
of the iiervmm system which looked to
her like nothing on earth bat 11 taiiele
of black tinea, wboae outline was the
human fiiture without any clothes on.
- hot argument followed wilh Jordan.
J') slop it. Mrs. Talbot remarked, wimth
in'. walcliiuj; with relief Oonuld's fiKtire
ippearinu "
"lib, hern he roinen. I'll just pour his
coffee. I'm sure he's ?oiii to church."
''Iiomild!" Jane laughed. "Ilear me.
not he. He's nn nlheist."
A bomb shell could not have bad more
effect l.'.aij this remark, in the way of
erentir.jf sensation.
"He-:- a attest under my roof, so I
iuii'i otder him out. And if I did. you
women." this wilh extra siircn.siti, "would
enntr.ioiot me. Hut I shall not sit ut
the l.-thle with nn unbeliever, an "
He left as Itontild entered, eyes spnrk
'iiut and skin glowing from his exercise.
"You'd better nil cfcimo, don't you
think just to please him?" Mrs. Tniliot
bi'tuu timidly. Jane explained to Don
ald, who laughed.
"Why trend on the toes of prejudice?"
the young doctor asked. "June, don't
roil realize that he can't take in these
new ideiis? Too old. Ihe arteries bjaiin
to harden in the forties, those leading to
the brain atrophy. You really etin'f ex
pect anything dead to function, (tf course
I'll go."
"It's all because we have breakfast
l..i."tber." said yniing Amy. "Why do
fniiplies insist on eating with each other
flrrt thing in the morning V No wonder
we fight!"
This explanation, which she did not
understand, angered and hurt Mrs. Tal
bot. This from Amy! The young iady with
in a day of IS, wns getting on much too
fat for her-'inolher. Mrs. Talbot also
rose in anger.
- Tomorrow Donald Javes.
FI1E PROBLEM IS
HARDEST FOR G. 0. P.
By LAWRENCe MARTIN
fTTnitcd Tress Sloff Correspondent).
"WuslunKlon, April SiO. A problem of
dollnrs and cents bow to finance, the
Kovcrniiient and keep pnrty pledges
loomed up today ns tho hnrdest task of
republican leaders from thin time on.
The problem is complex but hen: are
its elements:
1 Taxes, and how to keep them produc
ing enough to run the government and
at the same time keep the party's
promises to reduce taxation.
1 Tariff, how to nnko r produce rev
enue and at the same time satisfy the
demands of business and agriculture
for protection against foreign compe
tition. .1 -The soldier bonus; how to pay it
without, ruining the party with the
voters, or how to avoid paying it with
out ruining tho party with tho ex
service men.
Secretary Mellon wanw of a $184,000,
0(X deficit next year nud iueome tax
payments havo fallen off alarmingly.
Consideration of the tax problem al
ways brings up the bonus question, for
tuxes, many republicans bold, must be
levied for nt least part of tho bonus
payment:. The hope is strong among sen
atorial bonus advocates1 that the foreign
The Boys and Girls
OonrtiM. IK!, Auoelifed Editm
FOR GIRLS TO MAKE
A funny little turtle met a funny lit
tle man upon the dining: table one
fin day. Said tho funny little turtle
to th funny little man, "Pray tell me,
air, how did you get that way?"
The funny little fellow said. "I'm
Imply made of prunes; two targe ones
for my body's what It takes, with
two to form each hand and arm and
two to form each leg; & smaller one
aeh foot most neatly makes.
"Judicious use of toothpicks keeps
me hold together well, a marshm&llow
waa used to make my head. My fea
tures, am you may observe, are made
of bits of cloves a nifty looking man
am I," he said.
The funny little turtle flapped his
tail and said with seorn, "You real
ly aren't a wonder, for, you see, they
took a nice fat raisin and four little
feot of cloves and two for head and
tall and there was me."
How, Why, and What
How do rabbits see In the dark?
Rabbits can see In tho dark like
cats. In the blackness of their bur
rows they cannot eee, hut the seiux
of smell and" touoh direct them. Their
e rjv so constructed that thev can
collect light-rays from whut to human
beings would be darkness.
An Eastern Saying
In tHlk he s a wnndft-.
?tut small are his Kins,
How loud is the thunderl
; How uttle It rains!
A Serious Business
"Oh. Willie. Wtme!" rxctaimcd the
mother. "How often have 1 told you
not to play with that naughty John
son hoy!"
Willie, who was rn a dreadful stste
of disorder, with a hsdly tmil.-i far,
lookt at his motlier in d. 5 rust!
Mw." he mid. 'do t look ss ttwugh
1 bad been niacin' wita anybgUj f
In Our
By PAUL
F IU DAY.
Ex Hrigham a a any feller which
can live through school oa a day like
riliK cm stand anaythiug!
THE I It MAX JiKitDS,
Andy Anderson & Phil Wigglcswortb
the hum ti a herds, which in whut they call
ibetnsetvt'it after desiding to live ill that
tree iu Andy's yard,, showed up this
inoariiing fmi iriin-h ciiaiogi-d. They did
ent sta up thare tree ail nitt like tbay
thought tbay would, ibav being a owl or
Hiiinfhing up thare which druv them in
abowt nine, just in time to get oiiuthcr
iikking foar not hawing thare hoam work
did this mounting and 'Andy says that
settles it. Him and Phil are going to
hook jack at resess and go up in thare
tree, newer to cum down ageu forevver.
It will be verrv fine.
WHAT HAPPi:KO TO WALT,
While prneiislng holding a herd's egg
in his mowih during spelling, so'h to do
it when herds nesting. .Walt White met
with the unfortmiit I'coidunt of hawing
Steve Hardy slap btii suddinly on the
back, breaking the egg,, sum of wbitch
Valt swaileriHl. Walt says .Steve duu
ita-piiriose. but Kteve. sed how did he
know what Walt had in his movvtb? How
was it, Walt, good to cat?
IT Dl'X Bui, tition.
Hoi Haynes had his anuewu! shampoo
yesterday, the weather being warm. We
ailuz knowed Bol was kind of' ber-hedded
but now be looks like the roof of a barn.
(Ico. MeLoughliu says I!ol hud better
debt funding commission wi!! complete
negotiations by .lunc. rft rough which
HXi,(W)0 worth of British bonds will
be received iu payment of Great Brit
ain's war debt. 1'pon these, money could
fpiickiy be realized to pay the ' bonus.
But. President Harding will not permit
congress to count on these bonds until
the bonds are actually in hand.
Tong Representatives Seek
Permanent Peace on Coast
Seattle, April Declaring an armis
tice in the tong war that since February
12 has cost il lives in Pacific coast cit
ies, representatives of three tongs met
with members of the Chinese benevolent
pence commission to consider the possi
biiity of a permanent peace. While the
peace emissaries are meeting in a seclud
ed room, armed gunmen stand in the en
trances to each tong headquarters. The
Hip Sing tong is said to have caused a
hitch in negotiations by demanding that
all members of their tong now held in
juils be released. This' the other tongs
and the peace commission are powerless
to assure.
PORTO RlCO HAPPY. -'
San Juan, Porto Hico, April 21. Ad
herents of the mitonistvparty, headed by
Don Antonio Bareeio,- who have been
urging removal or Governor H. Mont
Iteilly, are elated by dispatches from
Washington indicating fhut the governor
might be removed. -
The 'question whether a new governor
would be appointed, or whether Presi
dent Harding would uphold iteilly in the
political fight which is raging over Porto
Hico, overshadowed all others here. The
newspapers were filled with- discussions
of the situation, Washington dispatches
and the least scrap of information con
cerning Governor lieilly.
FAVOR LIBERIAN LOAN
Washington, AprH 21. The bouse
ways and means committee has voted a
favorable report .of thcbill juiibojrizing
a loan of $T,0Mt,0)n to Liberia. The bill
specifies that $1.:MM,K)0 shall be used irt
paying off outstanding indebtedness of
the Liberian republic. The rest of the
money is to be used in reconstruction
work.
Hundreds of thousands of tourists visit
the national Torests each season. Do your
part to preserve the scenic and outdoor
attractions of the mountains by using
care with fire in the woods.
Tht Blunt Llttlo Piptr In th. Wi.ll
' '5 FUNNV THE LONGER
fTAN0
ONE REEL YARNS
COUSIN MARION
"Dick." said Mother, lookimr " nn
sin. Your Uncle Henry has married
a lady with a child Just your age.
nanieu Marion, mcy are coming to
see us. Now you must entertain your
little cousin. I shnll depend upon you
to svo that Marion has a good time."
"Gee," sighed Dick, "why couldn't
ahn hn'A hoon n hnv! 'nm I t
can't ro swimmtnfT or anything."
imrtiiK the next days Dick looked
out upon a world of gloom. The Boy
Scouts were going camping, and you
couldn't take a girt to a Boy Scout
Camp. And there was a circus com
ing. Would cousin Marion bo "game"
In fft tin mt riutrn an4 wt.-L .u.
unknid the elephants?
Dlt-lf dfi'iilfvl th ih .....
handle cousin Marion would be to
scare ner to death the first day.
So, on tho day scheduled for her
arrival- T"l.-U mtiMrf (a 1. 1.
donned his cowboy outfit, grew himself
a n-rce sei oi ournt cork whiskers.
Uaued both his cp pistols, cotWd hi?
clothesline lariat on his hip. and call
ing down to tell his mother that he
would meet her at the station,
sneaked down the back streets and
hid in the hnguage room until he
beard the trih pulling in. He gig p,i
with glee as he picture (be l,tr:.tt
descending over Cousin Murlon s yI
Um curt fr.r she was probably the
curly-headed kind.
The ininuts Dk-fc saw his I'nele
nnry emorpte mrn (he tram, he
gra.d his lariat, and. dah!nt
across the i!atfni-r with .
dlmg whoop. let fly his rone j-st us
..-.win Mrien sioppwt on the pl.tt
form. To him ...
- oj-imiinifni,
rmuln Marion let out .i .i,rm(
School
WEST
not go past tbP fitr enjine bowe or
jrhay will ring in an alarm thinking his
jhed is on fier. Oca Hicks Bays she likes
not a hare, it boows a sine of an affec
tionut diApossishtm.
WAS KX TO BL.IM?
x Brig ham had a snaik in o thrd
box and was just looking at it to
was it ail rite, when Mist Palmer sen
him. and aed "Bring me that box at
wuii-H Ksodus." E started to tell her
what was in it, but she aed, "1 doani cfiip
wb.tr it t( give it hear," so Ex dim so.
6t she oapened it. During what bap
pined then fuuuhoridy stepped on the
nuuik and Es i broken harted.
GSESUP.
After resess Andy Anderson and Phil
5ggles worth was missing. Short Leg
Miliiken has went oaver to Bianey'u
pond to kaich them. What a joak. on
Short iiCg, thay not being thare, as is
well known to sum,
Ju spelling today Lilac Orimes got
the word Luv ami when she spelt it she 1
looked rite at Fatty Bellowes. Fat says
it aiut no audi a thing, be wouldent be
waisting bis time on girls this time of
yore when the fishing is getting good &
thay are fo much else to do.
Miss Palmer says will the fellers piese
remember to taik the werms out of thare
pokkets after they have bin fishing and
not bring them to school? Thay get all
oaver the flore, the werms, not the fel
lers. No school iomorrer. Excuse our
chears. , . .
Loses Hair Through Oil
Shampoo, Starts Big Suit
Seattle. April 20 Cost of an oil sham
poo will be advanced from $7 to $10,000
if success attends the suit filed by Miss
Kthel Atherton in superior court yester
day against the proprietor of a hair
dressiog college here.
Miss Atherton seeks damages in the
amount named for alleged injury done
ber hair by a shampoo suggested by the
hair dressing college as a result of whtrh
treatment, the complaint states, Miss
Atherton was forced to have her hair
cut short.
Livestock jieeds grass and water, for
est fires mean an end of both.
Rhowanda. th choiri of th roolr
Feels Uku a New Woman.
"I was a sufferer from kidney trou
ble fo several years," writes Mrs. Ar
thus Dmmdle, II..F...D. 1, Graranere,
N. H., "and suffered so much I felt com
pletely lame all over. Since I have been
taking, Foley Kidney Pills I aro not so
lame. My backache! all the time and tny
eyes were all a blur. Now I can see fine
and- feel ILfce a different woman. Sine
1 have ratten two Bottles of Jfoiey Kul
noy Pills I don't have that tired feeling,
f can do my own work now." They bring
qniek results. Sold evrywhere. .
Chiropractic
will euro your disease,
no matter what your
trouble.
Chiropractic
stands for Science,
Truth,' . Common Sense
and results.
Examination Free.
Phone 355-J. ' '.
Dr. Geo. A. Simon
V 916 Willamette St.
Over Ludforct's Paint
Store.
Guard
BVMDI
PLAT
wouc
Edltod ty John H. Hill.
FOR BOYS TO MAKE
In the brim JtvP 'Rio- CUtaf Pn.nrnK
bold and strange old chief is he; rulei
his tribe and knows no mercy, just i
fierce as he can be.
Made him nn aka m(nv rtnt.i.
took a cob of RnitAl n hJ
larger end X charcoaled nose ant"
Miuum iiu oeaay eyes.
Cheeks were red with crushed cran
berry, wound round husks his clothei
to form, bonnet made of chicken
feathers, got him blanket bright and
warm.
In a. auivee matt nt nnm
rows made of twigs are found; with s
bow of cord and willow, Big Chisl
Corncob scouts around.
SEALS ON THE MARCH
The Alaakan fur sea! tliat bretdt
on Ui, PriUlof llajs passea tin
winter far aouth of these Islands, than
In March migrates north once more
They travel In herds, In regular mil
itary formation, as m.uiy aa ten oi
fifteen thouiwnd are seen traveling-toa-ei'.ier
in the open sea.
A keeper of the lighthouse on Faral
lone. Island, west of San Franciaoo.
says he has noticed ttiese huge herds
advance in a line several mile Ion,
from the eolith, and when they react
th. (aland they halt for a mlnuta and
then sivinif round Iik, well-trained so),
die and swim off toward th north
west. The Prlbllof Islands, their home. rt
north of the Aleutian Islands In th,
Hering Sea. They belong with Alaska.
TO-DAVS FUZZUE t
'Lionel and John
Put a circus on.
R"ha. Jane and Beth
Watched and held their fcreath "
hat animals did thay represent?
Answer la ve.teerf.va- 1--