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About The Eugene weekly guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1899-1904 | View Entire Issue (March 5, 1904)
The Way of Whistler. “V/by does Algy ai f' ways wear such __ - a greasy cootf” •Wants people to thlrJr o, owns a motor.’ W ite.T sau:i<t<-r» ruiiiMopur. "Of all the worlds I ever broke into t is one's the most curious." said Red Fnuuders, "and one of the euriouses-. things in it is that 1 think id's queer. Why should I. now? What puts It in- to our head« 1! ■ tit affairs ought to •.<» aril so when t hoy never do anythin/ of the sort? Tak ■ any book you read or any story a num tells you. It rutu along about Low .¿r, Siu uh made up Li s mind to •do or t! al juid pro- evaded It. A:Ki that never liap- jsmed. •-t Mr. iSn.ith cuU« making vp 1:1« is. when yea come down to ! -d ■ notbhig more nor ¡less than T .¡.I Ir. Suiitn pleasantly calls his 11 '■ di xlglng to cover uiubr pressure of circu mst:rwros. That’s straight. Old I.:”' y Luck comes for Mr. Smith's mind. sw iaging both bands. She gives it a > t< in winder on the ear. laws it for l.ceps on the smeller, chugs it one In the short ribs, drives right and left in to its stummick. and Mr. Smith’s mind breaks for cover;.then Mr. Smith tells his wife that lie’s ma<K.up his mind lie. mind you! Wouldn’t that stun you McClure’s. Ancient Cooking HehooL V.’e of the twentieth ctmtury htc in clined to think of cooking schools as be longing exclusively to our day and gen eration. Therefore It may be uevs to many people that ns long ago us the reign of good Queen Anne a Mr. Kid- dee had ’a school of cookery In QuuFn street. Cheapside. and another lu Hol- born. Here is his advertisement—the original is on goou paper, wftb a uestly engraved border: To All Young Ladies: At Edward Kiddee's pastry school, at Little I.incoln’s Inn Fields, are taught all kinds pastry and cookery. Dutch hollow works and butter works on Thurs days, Fridays and Saturdays, ih the aft ernoon. and on the same days In the morning at his school in Norris street. St. Janif-g, Haymarket, and at his school at St. Martin's le Grand on Mondays. Tues days and Wednesdays, In the afternoons. What Dutch hollow works may be none of the cooking schools of today seems to know, but they sound good. The Fierce Cater pillar. AI mh Women. When Ainu, especially Ainu women, meet after a separation that has last ed some time they have a pretty way of telling each other their experiences in a sort of chant, and in the pleasant sound of their singularly sweet voices one forgets tholr wild and unkempt looks. The Japanese women nre eqral- 1. remarkable for the sweetness of tiieiT voice«, but Uivo tho advantage over tl.elr Ainu ulsters of delicate and dainty ways, the charm of which the most stolid globe trotter is constrained to own. If the women of Ainu-moshi ri. as the Ainu call timlr hind, are the drudges of the men Iu their youth au<! middle age their opportunity ts»r re venge con«?s with the lap • of years. The curses of an angry old woman excite the utmost terror 1- the bravest bear hunter. Ha flux iY'jic struck. from such names as sliunumaasli (mangy deer), tontoueppo (bald pitted boar; or. worst of all, ral-guru (corpse) or inao-sak-guru (godless fellow). Aft er death her ghost is regarded with even deeper dread. Senator Hoar In his "Reminiscences” says that Daniel Webster hail a tire some habit In 1 Is public speeches of groping alter the most suitable word I after this fashion: "Why is it. Mr. I Chairman. that there has gathered, congregated, this great number of In habitants, dwellers, here; that these roads, avenues, routes of travel, high ways. converge, meet, come together here?” When the speech wa printed all the synonyms but the best one would t>e left out. The Street» of Aiuiiterdani. Amsterdam, in Holland, a city of ten miles In circumference, is mostly built •u piles driven into the sandy subsoil, but the flowing of the tide and the debris of the Ainstel river have made aluety islands, and the city has more I canals than streets. The watery ways are traversed by over 300 bridges, so that Amsterdam has earned the desig nation of the Venice of the North. The M'oiiuiu Must Speak. Shv/ty Long4» Encape. “There used to be a cigar store round the corner of Fifth avenue and Wood street," said an old timer, “where they had a wooden Indian which stood on a platform during the day. but was al ways taken In at night tc save It from mutilation by the boys about the neigh borhood. Shorty Long was one of the well known characters of the town, an all round good fellow, wlio was always out for fun. On one occasion he started a hurrah ou Fifth avenue near Smith- field street and was pursued by the po lice, who gave him a hot chase down the avenue and were In a fair way to overhaul him when he rounded the cor ner and sprang on the box where the Indian was to be found during the day. There he took a position as much Lik i that of the wooden chief as possible and as he posed with outstretched arir tlie bluecoated guardian of the pea« galloped past and disappeared down Diamond alley, while the cause of all I the trouble left his pedestal and started out for some fresh amusement.”— I’ittsburg Dispatch. sov ; hat A Bird Friendship. Tlie rector of Wuolstutie, Mr. Gilbert Coventry, told me of a wild rock dove which one of his stuble Loys had reared from the nest. It slept in the open, however, ami had full liberty. Soon tile good tilings ou the rector’s table at tracted it. -.nd it wouki appear through the open window al mealtimes. take hot soup with much zeat anil even sip sherry from a wineglass. At night,1. often slipped in and slept in the rec tor’s lied on its back under the coverlet One Sunday morning during the rend ing of the lesson the dove flew swiftly through an open window Into the church and settled on the rector’s head. Broad smiles spread over the faces of the elders and audlblo titters came from the youngsters. A gentle touch sent the bird down to tko edge of the t lerk's desk below, where It sat undis turbed.—Pall Mall Gazette. Mr. Skrap—There’s just this about it It is Impossible for us to live together and not quarrel. Mrs. Skrap There is no possibility of our quarreling If n< Ither of us speaks. Mr. Skrap Of course; but. as I say. It isu't possible for us to live together am! not quarrel.—Philadelphia Press. IK m Problematic Tour. “Did you ever appear in a problem play?” "Yes,” answered Mr. Stormington Barnes, Last season I was doing sums with hotel bills, time tables and box office statements all the time I was out.”—Washington Star. Did you ever hear Miss Pounder play the piano r* No, but I’ve seen her work at lt.H Sorarlnk- Spoils Horses, Lord Derby replied, with a face of In Nature'» Kitchen. benevolent apology: “No, really I You A woman who teaches in n college for now. I am the most Inattentive fellow in the world about these things. I girls vouches for the truth of thi : story She presides over one of the college never notice, when I ring the bell, w hether John or Thomas answers It." dining tables at which alt a dozen stu dents: One day some mrty let tuce was Booa Inland. Probably Boon Island would be but brought on. A fn-sbimtn looked at It little known outside of New Hamp and exclaimed: "Bow clever of th- shire, Maine and Massachusetts if It cook to crimp it th.-rt wsy! How d" r were not for the fact that the island is she do ft?" the terminal of the Cape Ann trial An Appeal. course. Perhaps it would be more pro; The Owner—See here! Tint trunk er to call the island the northern termi nal, but nt any nite Boon Island gains never did you any h«rm. did It? The Porter—Any harm? Of course a mention in this way every time u new A I.tltle Mixed. iMtttieship or cruiser Is tried off th»« ■bl. Patient—Lo^c here. doctor. I’m not coast, as all those not built on the Pa i The Owner—Well, then, dou t treat U going to starve to death for tho sake •T if it dkL Juus«« IX». cific always «re.—Boebju GJota»- of living • IKMe kMMes .. i ur i VW WAH3, It Should Be Fowtered and Studied With SerlouMiie»«. I- :ir Admiral Cotton. New Coinrun a ti *» y uf the Earopean Sqnadrou, Caroline Hazard in her "Education of Women" says, "IIow tew of us study to put things persuasively, to reach a proper climax, to retire grace fully from a subject." It Is a common saying that the urt of conversation has disappeared from among us. and yet it is au urt held in honor by all men. Telegraphic speech has taken the place of the mole careful and elaborate forms of conference. But It is an art which should be presented lo all young people and which they should study with seriousness and attention. Noth ing really inspires, nothing really cre ates enthusiasm but the perception of an ultimate ideal, whether it be in art or music or In any other of tho nsluis of spiritual thought Thio ideal of l-eauty has to come to the aid of every form of expression, lifting and raising It into its own kingdom. Thu student who has even begun on such a course of training, who ean see beauty iu ev erything in tile created world and In the realm of thought, has certainly be gun to be beautiful in himself. For beauty most truly passes into the per son who studies the beautiful. No one can give out what lie does not have to give. He must first absorb beauty at tiie great natural reservoirs and foun tains of the beautiful before ho himself can liecome truly beautiful in life and character and so able to transmit beau ty to all around him. Rear Admiral Charles Stanhope Co> am, wlio succeeds Rear Admiral Crown- kiUtield. retired, ns commander of th« I'uited States European squadron. Is a veteran of the civil war and is regard- rd as one of the most Intelligent and highly capable officers iu the naval vervlce. The new commander of onr fleet ts European waters is n native of Mil- wu-.l’z-e and entered the Naval ucaiktasy In 1868, when only fifteen years of ag? Ho was graduated four years later, just in time to take part iu the civt) war. Young Cotton was iu command of a quarter deck battery on the old Minnesota wheq the Confederal« ram Merrimac mad« her attack ou the wooden ffi'et in Hampton Roads. He beheld tie tne lilsut-le liislitrie contest between that formidable ironclad and the little monitor, a contest that revolutionised methods of naval architecture. He also served on the St. Lawrence when she captured the Petre! and oir the Oneida at the battle of Mobile Buy. At tile close of the war he went to Chi’- na and the East Indies on tl’r Shenan doah, In 1883 he again went to th«? ANCIENT BABYLON. Itn (■rent W ill I Wnw One of the Wo«- (lerN of Tlione Dayw. According t") Herodotus, the ancient city of Babylon stood on a broad, level “Pardon me. sir. bin isn't there an plain and was an exact square of four teen miles eaeli way. making the entire other artist in this building?" “Well, that is a matter of opinion, circuit of the city fifty-six miles. It There is another fellow who paints.*— was protected both by a wall and a moat, the hitter being broad and deep Chicago Journal. and kept constantly tilled with water. >or Knou.,.. ■ wall was the wonder of won Young Husband—I ha ve 't 931-3 feet in width and an place where we can boa rd ) :'eet In height. Tills monster ail the comforts of Lome. »> •• as provided with JOO gates, Young Wife—But we shall d brass, the lintels and side counterpanes, too. dear.—Chii y;. •i be.ng in bronze. Cross walls tine. run aiong the banks of the Euphrates, DIFFE each !i provided with twenty-five gates. which corresponded to the number of streets running in each direclion from I the river. The most remarkable edifice inside the wall was the temple of Bel. a pyra mid of eight square stadia. G:i the I summit of this pyramid st< d i pure gold image of Bel fort;- feet high, two other smaller figures of tlie same pre cious metal and a golden table forty feet long ami titteen feet wale. This won derful city first came prominently into the history of the world in th? year TIT B. ('.. but since the tilin' of Alexander the Great it has been a ruin, the site having at one time been entirely lost. The Art of Mnkinjjr liny. The liorse does not like n nervous, fidgety, fussy or Irritable man. He is too nervous and irritable himself, says Country Life In America. "Why Is it,” one teamster was beard to ask another, “that Phln's horses are always gaunt? I’hin feeds well.” “Yes," was the reply, “but lie’s like a wasp around a horse.” A well known owner of race horses, not at all a sentimental person, recent ly made an order forbidding his em ployees to talk In loud tones or to swe.-.i In the stable. "I have never yet seen a good mannered horse," he says, "that was being sworn at all the time. It hurts tin- feelings of a sensitive horse, and I'll ke<-p my word good to dis charge any man In my employ if I catch him swearing within the hearing of any bur • In this stable.” ♦ A Matter of Opinion. IIow and when men tirst learned to make hay will probatMy never 1 known, for haymaking is a "process, and the product is not simply sun dried grass, but grass which has been partly fermented, and Is as much the work of men’s Lands as flour or cidoc. Prob ably Its discovery was due to accident, but possibly man learned it from tuc pikas, the “calling hares" of the steppe s. which cut and stack hay for the wl 1- ter. That idea would lit io nicely with the theory that contra! Asia was thi “home of the Aryan race" if we were still allowed to believe ft. and ba r making la certainly an art mainly pra - ticed in cold countries tor winter for age.—London Spectator. A more harmless, inoffensive creature docs not crawl than the common gar den caterpillar, yet this small worm will put up an appearance so fierce upon occasion as to frighten its ene mies away. Soft and pulpy, with no defensive or offensive weapons, this destroyer of cabbages and lettuces will bluff itself into a veritable armored cruiser and frighten many more for midable insects into ungovernable flight. Its method of procedure is like this: Immediately anything approaches, tlie slow moving, fat caterpillar raises its hairy body, wags a formidable look 1 ing head ami looks the essence of strength and defiance, so much so that it requires a bird of a particularly val Myrtle. iant disposition lo attack it.—Chicago The creeping plant we call myrtle 1» Record-Herald. rot a myrtle at all, but shotild tie called by its proper name, imrhrtnkle. Botan- When Doctors Were Slaves. lcally It Is Vinca minor. Long ago ’.t Bomans of means had physicians iu used to be called "the ivy of the their own houses. These men were ground." Chaucer mentions It as “frosh slaves, for, odd as It seems, many Ro pervlneke. rich of how.” The large man slaves were accomplished in liter blue flow-ers are very pretty. In Tra ature, art and science. At one time the cany it Is known ils "the death Hower” selling price of a slave doctor was on account of its being so often planted about the equivalent of $300 iu eur upon graves, a custom which is begin money. ning to prevail In this country. Tia n After tile time of Julius Ctvsar. who is a pretty variegated leaved varletj encouraged physicians, the art began and also a sport with white flowers not to “lift its head” in Rome, and later so pretty us the blue. men of character and jiosltlon, though generally foreigners, entered the pro A P omc . fession. Some of them acotunnlatnd A verbatim fragment from the law large.- fortunes, and one made the equiv courts: alent of at least $500,000 In a few King’s Counsel lexamtning witness) — years. Did you—I know you did not. but I am I bound to put It to you—on the 25th—it Sarcastic. In a volume of memoirs it la told that was not the 25th really; It was the an the first council day after Lord Der 24th; it is a mistake hi my brief—see by’s elevation to the premiership Oro the defendant he Is not the dHV-ndant really; he Is the plaintiff— there is a ville showed his disapproval by not ap pearing in his place as clerk. Some counter claim, but you would not ue . busybody asked Lord Derby whether derstand that—yes or no? Witness What!—St. James Gazette he had noticed Grevllle’s absence, and ART OF CONVERSATION. Webster's Tiresome Habit. Hiv maus.rvant entered the studio. ?” sa.d Whistler. "Lady Some- sir." s.iid the servant (she was one of the great ladies of the British peerage). "Where is she?" "In her carriage at the door, sir." Whistler took no further notice of his servitor, but resumed the reading of his proof sheets to me. and ’he puzzled footman, who was staruling behind bls master's back and facing me. shook iris head slowly up and down and. like lxjngfel- low’s Arabs, "silently stole away." Thus the reading went on tor quite ten minutes longer, and the reader’s sole auditor fidgeted more and more till, re alizing how deadly cold It was on that March day, I called out to him. “I beg your pardon. Mr. Whistler, but I think I overheard your servant telling you that a lady was waiting to see yon.” “Oh.” said be. "let her wait; let her wait! I’m mobbed with these people!” Then he went on reading for fully fif teen minutes mom, and after that (bls voice was gettiug tired. I dare say) be condescended to go downstairs and re ceive her shivering ladyship.—F. Kep- pel in The Reader. The Offending llniidkrrehli-f. It is In fact a grave sanitary ques tion whether the handkerchief does not do more harm than good ns it Is ordi narily used. When we assume that the nose does not need to be wiped, we face a reasonably broad proposition as to the danger of the handkerchief us a I disease propagator. Most nasal ca tarrhs are of an Infectious character, notably those of grip origin. Contrary to a general law of asepsis, the handkerchief saturated with dis ease g-rms. Instead of being promptly washed, is stowed for hours in the pocket, with a result that can be easily imagined. Is it any wonder then that catarrh is constantly fostered by a sys tem of auto Infection?- Medical Record. Would Win Either War. "Would you still want me to be your wife If my father was a poor amn' asked the beautiful heiress. "Yis,” the duke replied after a Utt pause. “In that case I would 1 enough of a curl' to get rich < kibiting myself.”- Chicago Re-ord II< r- ald. Probably There Now. Bobby Pa, did jou ever see of toe sea? Father—Y’es. "Where was it "it was hrn 1 •nw of Ill fortuit' ig-’.-v: d that who.»: good fortius- deceived not. Jot.sor. KF.AR ADMIRAL COTTON. Asiatic station In command of the old Monoeacy. conveying Mr. Foote, th« American minister to Korea, to bls sta tlon when the Ilermlt Kingdom wa« opened up to the world in the spring of that year. During the Spanish war Admir ilCot ton—he was then a captain, having reached that grade in 181)2- was in com mand of tlie auxiliary cruiser Harvard and ¡it the bailie of Santini o rescued thirty-five Spanish officers ai I I’.tT mer from the shore, where they I 1 taken refuge after the sinking of th ir ships. Rear Admiral Gotten was ptx aoted tu fits present rank In .March. P.O fore Ills present assignment 1. • xi.i« commandant of the Norfolk nnvy yard. THE CREAT CONDOR. Rear Admiral Cotton’s Ila : b ■ will be tho cruiser Chicago. It Is i d that n the Moat DHtirult Bird In the I the substitution of the Chien; or tho World to Trap. I battleship Illinois ns flagship mi tlx» I’robably the great condor is the most European station was the i , of the difficult bird in the world to trap. One retirement of Rear Admiral Crownln- of tlie great vultures, it inhabits lofty •hield from active service. peaks of tho Andes, hardly accessible to man. I? builds Its nest among the topmost crags, often on a ledge of some ArtlxtN ( iim I Poet*. precipice with an almost perpendicular Artists ami poets ¡ire like si.-irs they drop of many hundred feet. belong to no lami. A strici!,. naL'anal An extremely wary bird, it shares painter or a siri, ily nation'll po rt Is wftb Its congeners the proverbial “ea bound to bo parochial, a kind of vl.'lage gle eye” and is thus able to see im pump. And you may write in .rip;inn” mense distances while yet unseen by I nil over him and Imlld i omimeuts man. Its wings have a spread of above him. but lm remains . pui q. by twelve feet, and. though Its flight Is a local spring. l:ol>. - <)r;i n heavy, It can sii.siain itself for long pe riods in the air. To trap It men ascend to its haunts j :r .•! mean id oil' who re« and shoot some animal of considerable e of size. This is skinned, : nd a man lies . down by the body under the skin and , waits. per!uips for hours. Soon con- j She 1 she < dors come flocking round until one set- i .harp nail . i J keep 8 ties on the skin, when the man below | grips Its legs, flings the skin over it i and stabs It to death. The strength of these birds Is enor Wrecking n Woman’s I.He. mous, and the cornier hunters often When a woman says to a m.iu. “Tint» have tlielr arms broken by strokes I wrecked my life,” It may mean nothing from their powerful wings. more than that be married her and made her a wifi , whereas she might A Sharp Dip. have been a:i artiste.-- Atchison Glc!». Buxom That hateful Mrs Knox made a very mean comment up A man may be won by flrtlei-y. H« on my age today. can be retalixsl only ny eooki-ry 7 'ie. Mr. Buxom Did she su y you Wu» getting old? Ennlly Settled. Mrs. Buxom—No, Indeed! She said I Long Haired Visitor (entering timid “still looked quite young." Excluing». ly)—I have here a little poem written on snow and— llenprck«<l. Editor (interrupting hastily) Written “Hl Peck lied ter gtt out o’ bed 'n' tnnll a letter fer thet Sharp tongiMd on snow! We can’t use anything tliul isn’t written on paper. Sorry. Turn tho tvlfo o’ bien.” “Pore feller! Driv frotn piller ter knob to the right. That’s It. Good morning. Jost!”—Princeton Tiger.
