The Eugene weekly guard., September 05, 1903, Image 3

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The Contrabandist;
OR
perikaps, Louis answered; “as far as '
be I bateau de Mvutauban. You know I
the «Id chateau?”
I f-s. iudeed!" she replied, with a pret-1
ty sunle. and a slight blush. "1 go there I HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
every day to carry dowers to Mademoi­
1 Ht COMIC PAPERS.
selle Helen. And 1 think you are-----”
B
aud blusheil more deeply.
While her glance wavered and fell before ' I’lcassnt Incidents Occurring the
that of Loui». The poor child was aaliaiu- | Murid Over bay iugs that Are L h«r
s/|f
half gueue<l who he wa*.
I am leouis »i'Artoi*. the couaiu of tut to (ltd or loss» Fuuuy Selec-
Ma.iem >iselle Helen.*’ he »upplied. "Ami nous that k.verybody Will Enjoy.
now, may I not know to whom I tin in­
debted for the hospitality 1 have receiv­
Maud—I think it’s queer of Mabel to
ed. that I may, at least, return thank* hold spite against you just because
for iff
My name i* Koae Lamonte, monsieur.** soinelsHly told her you said she was
ludeed!** he said, kindly. *’l have "such a little thing.”
Irene—Huh! The smaller some peo­
heard my cousin speak of you. then, a-i
Well as her father. You and I are not ple are the more spite they can hold.
quite strangers after all. Rose. 1 am
A Thins to Remember,
much obliged to you for your kindness to
"You must admit." she said, “that
ta"nteht. I shall not toon forget it.’*
(»<H»<|-night, monsieur,** she returned, In these days few men die for honor.”
quietly.
’’Well, but you must remember.” he
1 he moon shone one moment full upon I answered, “that lots of the men who
the geutle face and pretty figure of his die for dollars might have died for
cottage hostess as he took one last glance, honor if it had come tirst."
and then he had closed the door. The
landscape was peaceful aud, withal, beau­
Vendu.
tiful, as he glanced over it; held, wood
“I see the ’sold' tag on Dauber’s pic­
and hill lay calm and quiet all arouud. ture.”
The air was still, and the silvery beams
"Yes. old Smith bought It."
of the moon shone fair upon the scene,
"Why don't they hang the tag on
while some light cloud, at intervals,
crossed her sweet face, ami reflected a Old Smith?”
passing shadow upon the quiet earth be­
Qaita a btruin
low. How different this scene from that
of two hours before! Louis could hardly
realize the violent contest he had had, as
he rode
iggll along in the silènes now.
(To be continued.)
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
A
TRUE
STORY
OF
THE
SOUTH
OF
FRANCE
■» •>
Í
x<
r
CHAPTER I.
o»*
It was just after the close of a some­ oMhetn"“ ““■* re,re,i' -nt’
I ’‘'bUns seixed bridle, and brought
what sultry spring day. when the Count th,-
the lieast to lus feet again. tUe other
Louis d'Artois took his way along the
lonely and gloomy path leading through <apefl upon the young count, aud. with
h
i nU •rr“«I»' almost drew him from
the very heart of a deep forest lying to­ " the
saddle, at the same time tiring a pis­
wards the south of France, and uot far
front the beautiful windings of the Rhone. tol Close to his ear. By miracle or chance
Re was young—certainly not more than the atm missed. Louis jerked his arm
fire-and-twenty; of a slight and elegaut from the grasp of his assailant, and
at him with the butt of a heavy
figure, yet with nerves and sinews that »truck
riding whip; but it was
might have well become many a one of wrenched from his hand. caught and
Laying hold,
stouter frame and broader shoulders;
as a final resource, ou one of his
with a fine head, a proud and noble brow-, then,
aliout which curled silken masses ot ra­ pistols, he fired at the fellow, who drop­
ven hair; dark, earnest hazel eyes, a ped. with a smothered curse, to the earth,
slightly aquiline nose, and lipa somewhat while his companion, who had been hold­
conipresseil, shaded by a curling mous­ ing the bit of the rearing, trembling
tache. and showing, at a glance, the firm­ steed, let go and sprang, in his turn,' upon
ness and decision of his character. The the count; but Louis, with a heavy blow
from the discharged pistol, felled him
whole countenance, with its delicate, fine­ al»o
to the ground, to keep company with
ly cut, yet noble features, told ot thought, his companion. Then, giving Roland the
and energy, and power, no less than of rein again, he galloped on. A volley of
tbe gentlest an<l tenderest feelings with shots was fired after him, but he was
which the human heart is gifted.
though two or three whistled past
Count Louis rode carelessly onward, unhurt,
his ears.
thinking ot many things—some that were
It was evident that the number of h’s
pleasant and some that were sad, and
some, again, that were both; now his assailants had beeu exhausted, for still
he was neither met nor followed; there­
father, whom he had last seen, some I fore,
he slackened his horse's speed to
weeks before, at Paris; now of his uncle, give him
breathing space, and also to
the Marquis de Montauban, whom he consider, on
his own part, which direc­
was about to visit, and his fair cousin, tion he must pursue, for the field or com­
Helen, whom he already imagined as mon upon which he found himself might
witching for him. Louis could have im­ take him in any direction other than the
agined his magnificent cousin Helen as a one desired. Upon deliberation, he re­
queen or a duchess, but his wife—never. solved to go straight onward from tlie
Yet he liked her—he had always liked her
from boyhood, in a cousinly way. She
was beautiful, graceful aud accomplished,
too. as far as it was possible to become,
in those days; but he had never thought
of her in a nearer position than that
which she held at preseut.
Suddenly broad, vivid flashes of light­
ning lit up the forest all about him and
with almost the distinctness of noonday
he saw clearly, at a little distance beyond
his horse's head, a human figure, creeping
out. ou all fours, from beneath the un­
derbrush that skirted the pathway. Al­
most involuntarily he drew rein, and, in
the pitchy blackness that succeeded the
flash, endeavored to discern the figure
again; but this was impossible. Y’et he
was conscious that it must be near him
—almost at his very side. With a quick
but quiet motion, he placed his hand in
his bosom. Then he was conscious of
another hand laid upon his knee, while
a man's voice, in a low blit friendly tone,
and close beside him, said:
"Count Louis d'Artois, you are in dan­
ger. Pause a moment.”
A STRANGE MEETING IN THE FOREST.
"And where rests the danger?” asked
Louis, firmly.
wood path, and he struck across the field,
"Beyond you. monsieur, and behind as his way still illumined by the electric
well, and on each side. Y’ou cannot es­ flashes that played over the black sky.
cape it, even if you would, except by The rain was falling faster and more vio­
your own courage, and your own lently, when suddenly a light «learned
strength and agility, which, I know, have out upon the blackness around it, at some
served you ere now. I have heard that distance ahead, and remembering that a
you are on your way through this forest small cottage, inhabited, when he waj in
to-night to your uncle's chateau; that you this district last, if he remembered right,
carry about your person a considerable by some quiet peasants of the neighbor­
sum of money, besides some few jewels hood, stood somewhere near his present
of heavy value, which you bear within a position, he concluded that this must be
small casket, in the inner folds ot the it. Putting the spurs to his beast again,
broad sash about your waist, and that therefore, he pressed on, and in a few
your valet you left at^he inn this morn­ moments reached its friendly shelter, just
ing. Thus you are fitting prey for those as the rain came pouring down in abso­
lute torrents.
who frequent these places.”
Fastening Roland in an old shed that
A feeling of the profoundest astonish­
adjoined this cottage at one end. Louis
ment took possession of the count.
“Who are you,” he asked, “who knows knocked on the door with the handle of
all this so well?"
his whip. The next moment it was open­
"I am your friend. Monsieur Louis, ed wide, and before him. shading her eyes
which is all I can tell you at present.” with her hand, with her pretty and petite
said the man. "But, in the meantime, figure clearly defined against the glow­
take these and defend yourself with ing background of a well-lighted apart­
them, as you will have need in a little ment beyond, stood a young girl, evident­
while after you have parted with me." ly not more than sixteen years of age.
And Louis felt a brace of heavy pistols There was an earnest smile on her face,
and a warm welcome for some one, evi­
placed in his hand.
"My good fellow, I have arms already— I dently, upon her lips; but the beautiful
I do not need them,” he returned, features changed their sweet, expectant
“though I thank you for them sincere­ look to one of startled surprise as the
light from the apartment la-hind shone
ly."
upon the strange face of our young hero.
"But you do need them, monsieur, as
“Y'our pardon, mademoiselle,” said
you will shortly find, for your own. safe Louis; “but the storm has overtaken me,
•» you think them, have bad the charges and I ani forced to ask for shelter here
withdrawn."
a little while until its present violence
’How?” uttered the count, in surprise. abates.”
“It is even as I tell you; it was done
The young girl stepped back, saying,
at Corbigny this morning, after you your­ with gentle and graceful courtesy as she
self had charged them. These which I did so:
have given you will do you good service,
"Will monsieur be pleased to enter?
•nd with them I do not fear for you, al­ He is very welcome.”
though there is danger about you. Be
And closing the door again as he came
wary, and act with your usual bravery in. she conducted him into a large and
and calmness when the danger conies. comfortable room and exceedingly neat­
I< is not far off."
looking withal. There was no person ex­
And so I am to be waylaid?" asked cept themselves there.
Louis.
A sharp gust of wind and rain beat
lhink the worst; it is the safest way. against the casement, and he saw the girl
for then you will lie better prepared for look involuntarily in that direction with
whatever chance presents itself.”
a half sigh and an air of apprehension—
It is well. I think you for your warn­ solicitude.
ing. and will endeavor to be ready.”
"Perhaps mademoiselle has friends who
At that instant, another broad sheet of are exposed to this storm?" suggested
“ghtning quivered like flame, and Louis Louis.
beheld the person whom he adressed—a
“Yes. monsieur, my father, who ha«
man of middling size, with bushy dark been absent all day. He should have re­
•sir. a wild, uncombed beard,1 and a turned much earlier than this. but. doubt­
heavy moustache; wearing a rough jacket less. he will come home soon. He went
•nd a broad sash with long ends, within to the market this morning. I am sorry
the folds of which were stuck a brace of he is not here to welcome you.”
Pistols similar to those which Louis now
A little silence ensued, when the fair
•si'l in his own hand. His head was un­ hostess, drew a spinning wheel towards
covered. so that the lightning displayed her. and. sitting down by the hearth, be­
•1» features clearly.
gan to work quietly but industriously,
Good!” said Louis. “I shall not be now and then looking up from her em­
■ > ■ . forget your face in a hurry, my ployment to respond to some observation
•nend. Let me thank you again for your of her guest: while Louis, on his part,
“»•ly assistance.”
studied at leisure her sweet and some­
Nay—keep your thanks, monsieur— what thoughtful countenance, followe-l,
"**P your thanks until the danger be with pleased interest, the glancing mo­
nw. returned the man. quietly. ”1 only tion of those snowy little hands, and
you may get safely through this, wondered to himself how a graceful blos­
•n'l that I may be nt hand when you need som like this could ever have sprung up
*jrning again. Good night.”
and flourished in a peasant's home.
1-ouis continued his way, with strangely
The rain and wind beat furiously about
■tixed feelings of wonder at what had the little cottage, increasing the sense of
- curred, together with some degree comfort within, and blending its sound
“ apprehension and curiosity aa to the curiously with his reflections, as Ixmis
aii-»r which menaced him. Nothing in sat there by the hearth, opposite to his
" “hape of danger appeared, and for, I hostess, and thinking how exquisitely
rtrhapa,
,,pace og fifteen minutes, pretty she was. «nd wondering what her
wa« kept in suspense. But. sudden- father was like, envying him. at one mo­
»• » branch above his head was bent and ment. for being the father of so lovely a
k.«| sharply, «nd while Roland, af- child, and the next, thinking that, much
Fhted, reared violently, and almost nn- as thev might love each other, he was
at<M his rider, the lightning flashed very glad that he was not her ?«ther.
I*?1" ,n'l
figure of a man swung While she. working busily, kept her littlt
? flown from the branch to the path- wheel whirring, whirring—and now ami
j,
A strong hand seized Roland's bri- then slightly turning her fair head with
P <t i* ron*b voice nttere«! "Stand.” « an intent look, as if listening for the foot­
■Av**" pointed at the count's bead.
steps that did not com», or lifting ber
bat do yon require?” asked Loui«. ts-autiful eyes to her guest's fare as be
_ flr and sternly.
spoke to her. and an«wenng him in those
<• batever money yon carry about yon. quiet, pleasant tones that Ixmis could
s u" t
m*' ,n'l be quick about it!” ■ot help thinking the sweetest in the
world, until the win ! diod away and the
“Y .
»re mistaken, my man.” utter*? rain ceased, and Ixmis could not but say.
Un
• a quietly, while one blow from his a. he looked out fr m the casement upon
•mt powerful arm struck aside the the narrow road that wound a^w the
t¡
ted Weapon, and a second stretched fields, and am- ng the distant bills, to bis
ptfil in senseless among the bushes nncle's chateau, that it was time for him
Path. With a terrific«! snort, as
• a*
'•wint gave him the spur. Roland gal- '"••lii’^yon far to go. monsieur?” «b’
’• forward, but he had scarcely cov- asked, pntting aside her wheel and na
• i-'ien rods along before two more
•Pranu „at jnto
wty.
"Acrioe the hill« J
•“‘asd. Beared by their sudden appear-
CANDID YOUNG PEOPLE.
Shock Some of Their Acquaintances <.«
Their I.ack of Reserve.
“In my day." said an elderly woman
recently, "while poverty wasn’t con­
sidered a crime any more than it is
now. It was a subject carefully kept in
the background.
“If one had to darn her stockings, it
was done In the secrecy of her bed­
room. If a dress had to be turned or a
bonnet retrinimed, these processes
were never spoken of outside of the
family circle, and whatever skimping
the mistress of the mansion did to keep
down household expenses was a secret
between herself and her cook.
“It wasn’t that the family dignity
could have been lowered by the public’s
knowing that there was a lack of funds;
it was that it was none of the public’s
business. The public might be all that
Mr. Vanderbilt wished It, but it had no
concern in the expenditures to which
the gentlefolks were sometimes forced
to make ends meet.
“That was thirty years ago or more,
and I remember still weeping bitterly
once tiecause an envious cousin told
some of our playmates that my new
silk frock was made out of Aunt Lucy's
dinner gown of the winter before.
Things are so different now that I’m
sometimes «chocked.
“Only yesterday I heard a girl say
when my granddaughter exclaimed at
the beauty of some new furs the latter
wore, ‘Lor’, child, they were given to
me. Y'ou know very well we couldn't
afford to buy sables, poor as we are."
“And my grandchild replied. ‘I wish
to goodness my relatives would give
me some new rags. Job's turkey
wasn't any more poverty-stricken than
I a in.’
"Another young woman in the group
declared, "Well. I am going to have a
new hat this winter, if I don’t get any­
thing else the rest of the year. My old
one Is positively disgraceful. It’s been
made over so often.’
“These were all young women, whose
parents are In comfortable circum­
stances, but they seemed to delight in
giving their hearers the impression that
they were In imminent danger of going
to the almshouse. This pose. If it is a
pose, isn't confined to the gentler sex,
but extends to the men.
"If I didn’t owe my tailor such a pot
of money. I'd keep you in vlc’.ets this
winter.' one lord of creation remarked
to a young lady he had recently met,
in my heating, not long since. ‘Tell
you what I’ll do,’ he continued, if I
make some cash on n deal I’ve gone In­
to. I’ll send you a thousand for the first
german. If I don't, you won’t get so
much as a rosebud, for I will be down
on my luck then for fair.’
“Give me the days again when the
condition of one's purse wasn’t public
property and when there was more re­
serve in speaking about private affairs.
This way of talking gives a very ingen­
uous air to the «peaker, but I'd like her
better if she continued to darn her
stockings in the secrecy of her bedroom
and spent her last five cents for car
fare with the air of one who has the
mines of Goleonda at her back.”—Bal­
timore News.
Hard Lack.
••SAGE OF WHITEHALL.”
"Oh. dear!" wailed the first summer
bud. "My new batliiiig suit la a lisaerat Cassias M. Clay, Notsd Ass-
w reck."
tnckisn. WKa 1» Dssd.
"What happened to it?” asked budlet
Death came to General Cassius Mar­
No 1
cellus Clay, warrior, statesman, aboii-
"i got eaught on the l>eaeh in A tiouiat. author, ami noted duelist, at
st-ewer this niorulug. that's what." au-
his home, White
Bwered she of tbe woeful wail.
Hall, in Madison
County. Kentucky.
No Mourning in It.
Hla demise was
"What of my future?" asked
due to general ex­
fair maid.
haustion.
"You will never know what grief or
The stirring life
sorrow is." answered the fortune
w
hich
General Clay-
teller,
led bad begun to
"And—will I marry?" queried the
tell on him lu late
fair one, anxiously.
years. He believed
"Sure,” replied the visionary proph­
that a conspiracy
etess. "Four times."
to assassinate him
bi-eti formed
Matter of I’kolce,
some years
Mis. llomer—1 can’t understand how
fortified bia
Mrs. Meeker can waste so much time
borne at
White
oil that horrid poodle.
Hall and entered a
Mr». Nextdoor Why. la it possible
life of exclusion
that you have never met her husband?
that ended only a
A* Others Hee t's.
few w eeks ago.
Miss
Wl-
He—Charlie Sapleigh and
One of the final acenes In the life of
■erly are doing a courtship stunt.
; this reiuHrkHtile man whs enacted in a
She—Ah, ludeed! Another case of ■ourtroom at Rlchmoud, Ky.. when he
two souls with but a single thought.
was declared insane. A week pre-
He- Yes; and it's doughnuts to fudge vionaly Dora Rlcbarilsoti Brock. the di­
that she originates the thought.
vorced child wife of the aged Ken
tucktan, had declared Iler intention of
An Awful Jolt.
De Borum—I wouder what time it golug on tlie stage. It 1« alleged Gen­
:«ral Clay had been insane for several
t
Miss Meeker (wearily) Really, I rears, and his mail love for a Id year-
old girl, who was 13 when she mar-
can’t say!
De Borum Well. It must be atiout tied him, is held to have l>een largely
responsible for his condition.
time 1 was going home.
At the time of the strange marriage
Miss Meeker (Hi, I'm sure it is ever
General Clay was IX) and Dora Rich­
so much later than that!
ardson was 13. He was cultured, a
Evening tip.
man of repute In the affairs of the na
Mistress—1 hope you'll suit, I’ve tlon, the scion of a famous fninlly,
had eleven cooks lu the last three and the possessor of wealth. She was
months.
Illiterate, untutored In the ways of the
Cook—That’s nothing. 1 have had world, «intent amid her lowly sur­
twice as many places—Detroit Free roundings.
Farmer—What’s th’ uiatter with th’ Press.
General Clay treated his wife as ■
cow?
Too
Much
Pvrographx.
’Rastus—I spec she done fell down
"Maria," said Mr. Stubb, as he gazed
an’ strained lier milk.
on the scorched cakes, "these new fads
Useful These Times.
are a nuisance."
"I think we la‘tter Include a branch
"What now?” queried Mrs Stubb,
of cooking in Harry’s education,” said passing the coffee.
the wealthy old gentleman.
"Why. Lucy Ami has gone and prac­
“Cooking?" gasped his a maxed wife. ticed pyrography oti these flannel
"Why, Harry will graduate soon and cakes."
be a great man.”
Rather Ambiguous.
"I know, dear, but these days of
Softend Wasn' that aw a beastly
strikes a person never knows wbeii
he’ll be called to cook his owu meals absurd rumor aliout me aw-losing
me mind?
in a hotel.”
Miss Slasher Yes;
certaiuly
Out of Sruwn.
was the limit.
“Why are yer so sad?” asked Dusty
Dennis.
"Why," growled Sandy Fikes, “dat
lady said if I’d split de wood she’d
give me an old pair of shoes she proiu-
lsed me last winter.”
"An’ did she?”
“Yes, she give me a pair of snow-
shoes.”
WHITE HALL, HOME
rang and when Annie, as we will call
her. went to the door she noticed that
the girl went out and closed the door
and stood talking to some one In the
hall. So the mistress of the house sus­
pected something anil went to the door
and opened it. There stood a woman
whom she knew by sight, but had nev­
er met. and she was evidently endeav­
oring to hire away Annie, for the girl
was very red in the face and the wo­
man was very white when the door
iqieiied. This conversation ensued:
Mistress of the House—-Whom did
you come to see?
Visitor—I came to see Annie; ■he U
a—friend of mine.
Mistress of the House—Annie, la thia
woman a friend of yours?
Annie (feebly)—Yes'm, she is.
Mistress of the House—Well. Annie,
Invite your frieud Into the kitchen to
■it down.
Dead silence! And presently the
woman departed, and when the ml»-
tress of the house interviewed Annie
■be found she had never seen the wo­
man before In her life, but did not like
to lietray the fact when she called her
a friend.
This was such a remarkable state of
affairs to the housekeeper in question
that she was quite paralyzed, and still
more so when she found out further
that the woman offered Annie $.'> more
a month to come to her.
Once in a while tills woman goes to
a tea and meets the woman who tried
to get Annie away from her. and they
glare nt each other nnd pass on. but
the woman who was guilty forgets her
part of it. and only remembers that
she was invited to alt down tn the oth­
er woman’s kitchen.—Chicago paper.
OYSTER
SHELL
"CULM
HEAP
Great Hanke Find Ready Rale for Sev­
eral Pur posee.
The average clitzen may not know
that oysters are planted, cultivated
■ nd harvested like any other crop,
says the Philadelphia North American.
OF GENERAL CLAY.
Her Envy Was NaturaL
"Why do you dislike that Bicker­
ford girl so thoroughly?”
“Well, it’B because her hair la cur­
ly”
“So is yours.”
“But her’s curls naturally.”—Cleve­
land Plaindealer.
“Me gal's a peach!"
"What kind of a peach?"
“Why, a cling; see!"
9
Her Reply.
“What kind of cake do you prefer,
Mias Klttish?" HSked Mr. Fosdlck, as
be handed the tray, which held quite a
variety.
“Wedding cake," she replied, de­
murely.—Detroit Free Press.
Always the Autocrat.
“She is very haughty since her fam­
ily attained wealth.” said the sensitive
woman. "I doubt if there is anybody
she doesn't snub.”
“Yes, there is.” answered Mias Cay­
enne. "If she wants gisid dinners,
she's got to lie polite to the cook the
Careful of Appearance.
same as the rest of u*."—Washington
“But does your mother insist that
Star.
you must take a chaperon?"
“Yes, but she can follow behind in
Her Franknm.
"I can't see what you find In me to
Jim’s old auto—and It's sure to break
admire,” said the lovelorn youth who
down.”—Cleveland Plaindealer.
had recently blown himself for a
The Only Way It Could Happen.
$31.50 engagement ring
"Why,” gurgled the fluffy haired an­
gel of his domestic dreams, "that's
Just what everybody else says."
And immediately the silence beczme
oppressive. Chicago News.
child and sought to amuse her and
make her happy. He txmght her dolls,
picture tMMiks. toy furniture, and the
many other things which have lieen
uiade to amuse children. Finally the
old man purchased hie young wife a
doll about twenty Indies long and fill­
ed with mechanical contrivances that
caused it to talk and cry and laugh.
The general's attempt to educate hla
wife were futile. She read a little and
wrote a little, but she had no taste for
books and art. After a few months
she ran away to the home of her
brother, where she received the atten­
tions of a farmer boy. General Clay
divorced her, and she married the
young man, whose name was Riley
Atrenuoue Service.
The parson had Just delivered a fiery
sei mon on the evils of rum. One of
the memliers was seen to be wrig­
gling uneasily In bis pew
"Behold!" cried the excited parson.
“One of my shafts has struck the
right man. See how uneasy our way­
ward brother is.”
"Yes," retorted the accused man;
“you'd lie uneasy, too, if you had a
June bug down your buck.”
Helpful Little Wife.
“Henry." greeted tlie little blue-eyed
woman, “do you rememlier of sayl-tg
"Talk nbont yer wonderful dlvln’! I you were going to color your meer-
The Sea Lawyer's Speech.
stayed under water t'ree hours de ud­ schantn
Here is one of the humors of the war:
der day.”
"Yes,
When the cruiser Tojieka was brought
"Huh! D'ye t'lnk I'm easy? Where band.
across the ocean her officers had a mer­
"Well, I know you were busy, ao I
ry time with the British crew. The di<l thia happen?”
"Right down yonder by de tracks. I colored IL”
v.*ael was built for Portugal, and her I
"You? How did you color It, pray?”
name, when our government purchased fc»ll asleep under dat water tank.”
"Why. I pointed It, of <v»urse."
her. was the Diogenes. On the third
Definition.
day out from Liverpool her officers de­ Little Willie—What's a hypocrite.
cided to mount a few guns, but when pa?
the order was issued there was loud
Pa A hypocrite, my son, is a man
grumbling among the crew. Having that lielieves something be doesn't
noticed the prevailing mutinous spirit, •ay.
the lieutenant in command had the
His Object toes.
troublesome men called before him and
asked what was wrong. The leading “You used to say she was like a
sea lawyer of the party stepped for Dresden doU." said Harry Bluelare.
ward and made the following brief and | "Too much so.” s[»>ke Gussle Gunn,
pithy speech: "When we shipped on “How could that be?”
this 'ere vessel, sir. she was In a Brit­ “Why, she cried ‘Mamina’ every
ish yard, an' we thort she was British time she was squeezed.”
from stem to stern. But the anchor's
W here It I« Afrennone.
no more'n h’isted an' we re no rnore’n
"Mamtna," queried little Mary Ellen
under way an ye calls er the Dlogno-
ses an' runs hup the Brayzlllan flag. “la the pen mightier than the sword?"
“Of i-uurw It 1a,” replied the wise
That alone were suspicious. We’« two
davs out an' ye nine hup the American mother. “Your father couldn't sign
flag an' calls 'er the Tapioca. We think checks with a sword."
ye re nothin' but a---- pirate.”—Kansas
Rapid-Fire ThnaghL
City Star.________________ _
“Always think before you apeak.’’
The New Woman in Germany.*
said little Tommy's mamma.
professor Kaufmann of Breslau. In •■<,«-, maw,” be answered. “If yon
do that -you must do some pretty fa«t
ophy on Fraulein Immerwahr. the thir kln' sometimes when you git to
first woman who has ever passed the join’ for paw."
examination at that university, said
■ —
that he earnestly hoped study among
He Was Mtwleat.
women would "continue to tie the ex­ I Landlady—What part nt th* chicken
ception with the few capable Individu­ will you have, Mr. Newcomer?
Mr. Newcomer Oh. about half of It
als." inasmuch as it was desiralde that
they should t»4d to their primary and will be ample, thank you.
noldest calling of wife and nxHbw.
The Wafer Way.
••whi<-h • n>»n will never ht* «Me to ei-
He— Shall I be the first to tell your
father?
Where "ail are selfish,
1« no.
iflsh. the sage is
nojo
I(1 „„her break it to bin.
natter than the foot and roly rath«» —Detroit Free Praaa.
more danp rous
Quick at i.angiiase.
Mrs Blinker My Tommy has begun
to study French.
Mrs. White Has he. Indeed?
Mrs. Blinker Ye«; and 1 know he’ll
ham the language in no time. 1 judge,
you see. by the rapidity with which
he acquired the slang dialect of the
street boys Boston TranscrlpL
God'B Country.
Do you know where God's country if
located? When we were out In the
Territories enduring hardships and prl
rations, we used to talk of “back in
the Mtstes" •■ "God’« country-" The
early pioneers of the West looked to­
ward the Atlantic seaboard and the
country along the Ohio ami think of
“God’s country " Now the poor devils
who are compelled to remain for a
time in the Philippine Islands know
that any part of the Vnited Ntates 1«
“God's country.” Nearly all of them
upon returning to American shores re­
mark: “It is good to be back in God's
country once more." It I» not likely
that Alaska is Included in the go<>d
land, for men returning from the big
Territory of the Arctic circle upon
landing at Tacoma declare they are
again in “God's country." Hut since
our colonial acquisition«, the sobrtqaet
“God’s couo’ry" Is fast becoming rec.
ognixed ss mroning the United Mtates.
Kind worda are never lost unless a
woman puts them In a letter and gives
It to her busboaa* to n .alk
GENERAI. CÌMICI M. CLAY.
Brock. Afterwnrd Itrock was killed by
a train, and the love of the aged sol­
dier and diplomat for the young coun­
try girl then sprang to life again, and
he sought to have her return to White­
hall as hla wife In as ardent a fashion
as when she first left him to go back to
her brother's bumble shack in the
woods.
Hla children Interfered, however,
and prevented the reconciliation. By
the proceedings in the Insane court
they blocked hla plan to leave hla
whole estate to Dora Richardson. He
was confined to bia home with a nurse
■ nd guards.
a person who engages In the Industry
being known as an oyster planter,
Thousands of serve of oysters are un­
der cultivation In Hampton Roads,
which, during the harvesting ■eaaon.
1» often literally alive with the reaping
machines of the oyitermeu.
When the oysters are from one and
a half to two years old. they are usu­
ally large enough to be sold, and, as
a rule, part of them are sold at tbla
age and the rest In the third or fourth,
year, after which time the ground la
allowed to rest a year before betng
planted again.
Great care must ba
exercised tn the selection of bottoma
for oyster planting. If the plantea
would be financially successful.
The largest packer In Hampton
opens from 100,000 to 200.000 busheto
of oysters In a year. In tbla house, aS
the men open the oysters, they drop
the sheila on an Inclined plane, from
which they slide Into a trough and ara
carried along by scrapers attached tn
an endless chain called a “shell con­
veyor,” which takes them without
further latxir to the shell pile In the
yard. When u sbucker baa tilled bls
gallon measure he carries It to the
strainer, where the oysters are strain­
ed and measured. They are then emp­
tied Into large casks kept full of fresh
water, by means of which any loose
shell or grit Is washed out. From
these casks the oysters are dlp|*ed Into
a second strainer, and when separated
from the water are again measured
■ nd packed.
The sheila are sold for from 1 to 3
cents a bushel, and are used extensive­
ly by oyster planters for the propaga­
tion of oysters. They are placed In
small plies on grounds found suitable
for the purpose, where the spat or
small oyster will attach Itself to the
■hells. They are also used for making
■hell lime and for building the excel­
lent shell roads found In aome parts
of the Virginia pentsula.
MARRIID A f AMOIS LAWYER.
STEALING SERVANT GIRLS.
Ths Hsspsrsts Straits tn Which Roms
Honsekespsrs Have Coma.
A new phase of the everlsMIng «err-
ant girl question has reomtly come to
light--the hiring of servants by wo­
men going actually to othsc persons'
houses and offering girls higher wages
This prevails to an alarming extent In
nearly all the large cities.
A woman who will do thia- well,
she will do other things of which
strong language could be used, and yet
throe women are to Im found among
the l>eet people- that la. It aboujd tie
added that they live on the beat streets
In town, but a woman who will hire
away her friends’ aervanta cannot be
strictly said to he entitled to any po­
sition. This happens every day and
can tie accounted for to a certain ex­
tent by the »-arelty of aervanta. and
the de»|Hwatiun of bouaekeepera. who
will resort to almost any means to ob­
tain them.
Not so long ago something of this
kind happened to a Chicago woman,
and tn recounting the affair to a friend
■he said she felt a pardonable degree
of pride for the manner In which «he
handlnl the matter. This woman lives
In a flat and had just hired a general
bouaework servant.
A trout two dtigg afterward the bell
naaaow.
Rhe was liuby Hamerotrom. of Rt.
I xml s, and a writer of soma note Mr.
lairrow, a lawyer, of Chicago, repre­
sented ths Vnited Mineworkers In the
arbitration proceedings which settled
the great coal strike. The couple will
spend a year in Europe.
A Telltale Envelope.
A genius has Invented an envelope
which records of Itself any attempt
to tamper with Its contents. The flap
la Imbued with some chemical com­
position which, when operated on by
a dampening prweaa. or any other
mesne of popetrating to Its enclosure,
records the transaction by causing
the words *Attempt to open” to ap­
pear. It la thought that the Inqnial-
tlve will think twice before pursuing
their reeearrhea m the fuoa of such
an invention.