HOUSE. THREE NEW SHIRT WAISTS. to the centra! station after WHY THEY DID NOT GO I returned we SMILE. I passing through the radiators of the ' suppose ”*J “ the rOUi“1 1,0>r’ at ¡J* »ill, is coiuiug. g»- One Had a Grievance Against a Mem­ J«*' ber and When He Was window .nd open door. bon* *> J°a grle" *’ me“ „nld»ed things that were w7rt1’i/’"'*'1» 10fe WM °“e ti“e TaVpne -W C0B,e b‘Ck n° rj-» o• b'"' th. .unsbine a fragile f«<*- « root that »»me dead ^blXin the dear home place. cht they whom the old bouse ft'^nld fade »» the leave, that '¡id their d.y «nd .re all forgot- flower hs. outlived them all! iviiikee Sentinel. A SACRIFICE ock ool ndiy m -etwewi I atch tol rerninf I econfira ersons w . th ’ sortii Fire, trta and tn crini lei rv in pm Patirai« i the pl roved. 1 in chiraa ompatudl d the là uge o( M ■nt«L 2J.-Ü« ring the 1 irailroad I ers toff“! The J suit witil mayor a ng the « Eastern » ore ith the A i move oí fl ograph i’fl r -y-tei I on toseR ulty «J e until R the E** I ’tkis. pite of tines*1** retarti palace. & hunting nr ■«« ’ I coop. r e I eign precatS* i.-an Utile" ■ ' I ; -tat*- **5 pan-A?J HE young man stood with his Mek to the fire and his bauds Ibnlgt into his trouser pockets. Unglej sat on the loungo sob- hpterieally. Her busbaud. Col- Langley. strode up and down the angrily displacing various chairs hl’s, »bile the boy’s cousin, for s not much more than a boy in tried to pacify the trio. r !>t, sir; go your own way; go way and be ---- The last was lost as the door slammed be- the Irate Colonel. Ted! How can vou be so fool- said Mrs. Langley, brokenly, can you dream of marrying a r, uneducated dancer?" itber," replied the boy. sternly, re Madge Baptiste, and whether e a dancer or a duchess, a million- i or a retired shopkeeper’s daugh- it can matter to no oue but my- jif 1 really love her.” « mother recommenced her hys- »I cries. The cousin, a fair, pretty about his own agg. went to him rested her hand on his shoulder. Idy. say no more now, but come tue. Let us think the matter over dy." ie next evening Gwendoline stole tly from tbe house and drove to theater where Madge Baptiste ed nightly. was dusk when she arrived. She up her card, telling the commls- lire that her business was urgent, xuroed with the information that ] Baptiste would see Miss Harper la tew minutes. Thou she found ktiaa small and dainty dressiug- ■ Clouds of soft, silken petticoats [here and there. A large jar of lers itoorl on the mantelpiece, ami [dressing table was cover«l with )r powder boxes, scent bottles, and ke-up" utensils. Photographs of rs, painters, and poets stood in y available corner; old programs ■ooden frames and oue or two etcLi- ■ hung on tbe walls. Bfore a large mirror stood Miss ige Baptiste arranging her hair. Ih. come in. Miss—Harper. Excuse ■ untidy »tate of the room. 1 think 111 And a chair. Let tne see. I don't Ik 1 have met you before- perhaps I »re a Journalist, or---- ” l'o. I haven't ever met you before,” ■mered Gwendoline, “I—came—I U yon know my cousin. Mr. Lang- T She felt her face growing red. I did not know why she blushe I, [this vivacious, beautiful girl fright­ fl her. She had exp«'ted to find p a different woman—a vulgar, ill- B woman. fir Langley? T«ldy! O. yes, I |w him well. So you are his cousin? psed to meet you—be is not Hl, I Ie?" Ko. he ia not 111.” b. that's all right. Ted and I are A of each other, you know; In fact, think of getting married soon - at R. be thinks of it. I didn't know h* I a cousin, such a pretty cousin. ! with a laugh; “he kept that a I really came to speak about It— pt this marriage," said Gwendoline, ftously. “You know bis people---- ” p"' Madge Baptiste turned sharply P regarding herself In tlie mirror. II understand! They have heard— MP’ he told them; he said he Rid They object—ah? And you?" drew a chair opposite the girl, nnd Idoivti. and rest«! her arms on her P* with her face between her hands, only bis cousin—we have been »always. I .»id I would see you, [tell you that bis father and mother . that he was merely a boy ye»—I 1 know— - don't go on." She led Gwendoline up and down, Sue her youth; she guess«! the real of her visit. “Ted 1» a boy in I know, but he Is a man for all *• He is 22 and I am 23. Besides. ■ only a dancer, and he is Colonel rj s son Please understand I no-wiab to—marry hlm-if hit * object. I will tell him he must y *nJ n»t see me again. I shall • ,n at first. 1 expect. A dancer'i i " * lonely one. you know. She . friends, and unless she---- Jo’re 1» the call boy. Well, good “J 'I I don't see-Teddy-again- to hlm-for nie " h.. «. by ........... .. me. fl n o Harper had risen, and was *. tan ” Baptiste'» hands lu tears ran down her i ?' ',oo t P|p»»e! How cruel laiir'*1 a,e* * didn't mean to— ' n *■ But his mother was so IteK^i y0U **** a~ 1 ,,r*am yon really cared *** »hall marry you! I know the Other W a. Surfeited Young -Observation, of a Country Minister. consumers, with a eooipiiratbely small loss In temperature. One occaslou In an Ohio town, with over two mile, of uialns. Hnds that the loss In temperature Is only 35 degreed wheu water la sent out at a tempera­ ture of DM degrees. The temperature of the water circu­ lated is modified to suit the weather conditions. When It Is very cold the temperature of the water sent out from the c tri tral statlou la made higher, and ■ the pumps which force It through the mains are made to work faster. In this manner a uniform temperature Is maintained at all times, despite mark­ ed changes In the weather. The com­ pany guarantees to maintain a giveu temperature within 2 per ceut I Of course the freedom from dirt, ashes and other Are troubles are also desirable features. As the water Is used over and over again the central company, particularly If the system is conducted as an adjunct of a power station, can furnish the service at a comparatively moderate price. In the latter case, says the Philadelphia Rec­ ord. the exhaust steatu furnishes near­ ly If uot all of the heat required. 1 ■ LITTLE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO. He was a young minister whose charge la in the country, and he was talking aliout the decline In church at- tendance. "It is we preachers In tbe rural dis tricts," said be, “who have a chance to get at the real reason» why people stay »way. Of course, we have no data that would help solve tbe problem as it presents Itself In the cities, but. beiug privileged In the country to talk to oue and all, we get reasons at first band. Some of them are Interesting and when analyzed they are more likely than uot The new shirt wai,ts show «»«t ‘»riety of style. Many are cut with yoke , . Many are cut with yoke. to resolve themselves Into personal dis but almost aa many are without. Borne have the yoke both m front and ba k.' | like to churehgoing or to some one tn The fashionable shirt waist Is unquestionably the white one. both th,, k and thin the church. Ze’ /"n T‘ r ’tHrt "‘i-' m'dr“ ‘■•'•»T '*aen ha. "There was an old farmer in one dla- hick h. t " f“** ,r* n,a'1' W>th >wia,*<*1 ’“>■’»• ’'th plain yokes at the back, but the majority have no yoke nt all. The waists are all made to give the | trlct where I preached who had tbe reputation of never going to ebureh. He Tmr'Vl’t Th e /“t! ‘D fr°Ut’ The’le*ve* « little larger than those of 1.« Tear and tbe fullness is arranged at tbe top to give the broad »bouldered effect. was a p«'ullar old fellow who seldom lbe more elaborate waists are attractive, and most of them button in tbe had much to »ay. but one day 1 went back, jliey have lace collars, while tbe cuffs are finished with a little edge of to »ee him. and In the course of tbe lace and are really nothing but a band around the wrist. All kinds or stitching conversation ask«i w hy be never came tucking and fancy buttons are used. to hear my sermon». "He was silent for a minute, and then he loves you---- ” and then she burst wines are served to Chinese as well as said: 'I did go to church once, and I 1 wasn't treated right and I ain't t>een out crying. American customers, together with the “Miss Baptiste! Curtain's waiting! finest and most expensive foods, In there since. It was wheu they was hav- Hurry up!" yelled a small youth at the average Chinese restaurant in In' revival up in the white schoolhouse, and things were getting pretty warm. the door. those cities good board can be had by “Let it wait; can’t come!" replied the the Chinese for from $15 to $30 a I went there one night and sat next the window. After awhile they got dancer, curtly. Then In a soft gentle month, and these restaurants are large­ to the shoutin’ part, and one old wom­ voice to Gwendoline: “Don't cry. dear, ly patron zed. As a rule, the China­ an got to runnln* up and down the aisle, you have been ever so kind. 1 know men are compelled to lodge In mean shoutin' and askin' everybody to come you meant well in coining. But I don’t quarters; but In New York and San up and pray. think I had better see him again; you'll Francisco there are a number of well- make a much better wife than I---- ” appoint«! homes occupied by the fami­ “ 'I sat there and look«1 on till I saw she was tnnkln' for me. nnd then 1 look­ There was a suspicious break in her lies of well-to-do Chinese merchants, ed for a way out. Tbe window was voice. which the American seldom or never open, and the first thing I knowed I was “No. no," said Gwendoline, between sees. In New York there is an apart- goiu' out of it. As I struck the ground her sobs, blushing violently; “I never nient-liouse. up-to-date In every re­ 1 heard old Elder Abbadusky. that sat thought of that—I only care for him spect. occupied hy Chinese families. right across the aisle from me. about. as a sister,” but as she said it, »lie The Chinaman sticks as closely as he "There goes the devil out of the win­ realized that she lied. can to the traditions ami customs of dow." Now 1 don't consider that a re- “Come, dry your eyes—why. I'm be­ Ills country, which are strange to the sp«'tful way for one man to speak of ginning now! What a pretty pair we Occidental, and. therefore, a subject another, and I never went itack again, are! Poor Ted! Why here are two for comment and often for derision.— and I don't Intend to till old Abba girls each trying to make the other Forum. dusky goes to glory.' marry him---- " “One day I went to see another man HE HAD NO CASE. "You—you—will marry him. Prom- who was a very good man. but never Ise! I shall never forgive myself—If The Judge Gives Reasons for Ruling went to church. He was a Scotchman Against the Farm Bands. you don't. I did not know you were and when I asked him why he did not so good and so beautiful---- ” Justice does not always frown, to: attend he said: 'Young man. if you "Why, how do you know It now? now and then a Judge will unbend and keep on going to church the way you do Perhaps I am only humbugging you." Illuminate his decisions with the light now all your life, and if you live to be "You are not—I see it in your eyes. of humor. Sterling B. Torrey, judge of 100 you will not have been to church as tbe Circuit Court of Jefferson County, much as I have.’ You will marry him—won't you?" “Wliat will 'father and mother' sa.v ?” Kentucky, is such a magistrate. Here ”1 ask«l what he meant. “0, I’ll interview them,” laughed is the decision which he render«l In a “ 'My father was a Scotch convenan- suit brought by a farm hand against ter,' he said, 'and when 1 was a little Gwen, drying her eyes. “Even as you Interviewed me? Yes. his employer to recover damages for shaver we need to go to ebureh In tbe I will marry Teddy If you really wish having poisoned himself with Paris morning iind stay all day. I would sit it, but not else. I couldn’t hurt such green, which lie was ordered to put ou on those hard benches and listen to ser­ potato-bugs. It was a hot day, and mons that I didn't understand. My a good little thing as you.” And then both women began to cry tbe man had turned back his shirt at legs would dangle over the floor till the throat, exposing his eliest to the they ached. again, holding each other's hands. “ 'If I went to sleep there was always The manager had to announce that poison. The Judge said: The plaintiff exceeded the scope of a deacon or some one else to poke me Miss Madge Baptiste was unable to his employment in sprinkling Paris in the ribs and whlsperlngly Inquire If perforin that night. And Miss Gwendoline Harper also green elsewhere than on the potato­ I wanted to go straight to hell. That announced, in Colonel Langley's draw­ vines. as bls special and ¿‘xcluslve was on Sunday. “ 'Then there were prayer-meetings ing-room. that Madge Baptiste and her agency was to kill the bug» Basking in cousin Ted were quite right to marry tbe shade of said potato-vines; tbe during the week and one or two extras each other, and that she would help plaintiff s act in allowing the defend­ of different »oris between. There was ant's Paris green to come in contact always more church and more sermons them through the ceremony. And Ted kissed her and said she was with ills flesh. Instead of with the flesh when I would have given my boots to a brick, and the Colonel hoisted tbe of tbe bugs, was unauthorized and ultra be out bunting. vires; the mental and physical suffer­ “ 'That thing went on from the time white flag. And after it was all over, Gwendoline ing of which the plaintiff complains I was big enough to remember until I sat in her bwlroom holding a photo of was the result of Ills own wrong In was 21. I made up my mind long be­ her cousin in her band. And her tears misapplying the defendant's Paris fore I reached the latter age that when splashed dismally on the fadeJ por­ green to purposes other than those for It came there would be no more church trait. “I hope she will love him—as which he was employed to apply it, and for me. and there wasn't I haven't much as I love him.” she said softly.— besides. Is damnum absque injuria; the been since. Now, really, dominie, do plaintiff, in opening bis clothes and ex­ you wonder nt ft?’ Madame. posing himself to the Paris green, was "And." concluded the dominie, ac- guilty of contributory negligence; tile cording to the New York lime», "1 EPICUREAN CHINAMEN. plaintiff knew as well as the defendant can't say that I did." Their Tables Have the Best the Ameri­ that Paris green wns poisonous. If he can Markets Afford. PASSING OF THE CASCO. did not know thnt Paris green was a The food bought by the Chinese liv­ poison, this suit should not have been ing In America Is often quite as ex­ brought In his name, but by a guard Ancient Filipino Craft that Lighters Will Soon Supplant. pensive as that of the whites. Instead lan. “The march of progress Is undoubt­ of living almost altogether on rice and Milk Kept In Frosen Chunks edly going to be a great thing for the chop auey, as Is the general Impres­ There are but few cows In Labra­ Filipino one of these day»." sa'd a sion, Chinamen, being quite as fond of meat as Americans, buy pork, beef, dor. No wonder. The nntlves procure man who got back from the islands and chickens. Chop suey Is made to tlielr milk for tbe winter and then kill not long ago, to a New York Sun re­ sell to curious white persons who visit tlielr cow». The milk Is kept In bar­ porter. "But one of the prices he's Chinatown. In Hie vicinity of every rels. where it freezes nnd never threat­ got to pay for it Is the gradual wiping ens to so i<- throughout the entire sea­ jut of picturesque customs and tradi­ lnrge city where there Is any consid­ son. When one wishes ntiy milk he tions of many centuries' standing. A erable Chinese colony, there are truck gardens devoted to raising vegetables has simply to go to the barrel and cut good example Is the passing of the Filipino casco before the Improved and exclusively for Chinamen from seed out a slice. wholly unbeautified lighter of western Jefferson Memorial Road. brought from their native land. These Citizens of Albemarle County, Vir­ commerce. vegetables are unknown to Americans. "The casco Is a craft for coast and Rut the Chinese also consume large ginia. have organized the Jefferson quantities of the finer kinds of Ameri­ Memorial Road association for tbe pur- river commerce, and at the same time |M>se of building a public boulevard the permanent home of its crew and can vegetables. The Chinaman has a sweet tooth, between Charlottesville ami Monticel­ commander, or patron, tbe former liv­ also; and In the tiest Chinese restaur­ lo. where President Jefferson Iles ing forward and the latter aft. It is a long, crude looking structure, hood­ ants In San Francisco, New York. Chi burled. The road will be two miles ed or covered with bamboo, and under cago. and other large cities, the best of long, and Is expected to cost $20,000. the manipulations of expert tmatnien is capable of rather surprising agility. Manila 1» not a city of good wharves, nor Is Manila bay a deepwater har- lx>r. lienee when big ships arrive their cargoes must lie lighter«! ashore, and this has been the casco's work for ages. The larger cascoes have a tonnage of from 2i) to 100 tons and the smaller ones, or casqtiltos, of from 8 to 20 tons, ami they range from 20 to Do feet In length with a 12 -foot extreme beam, nnd when loaded draw only 2!4 feet of water. They are built of a light tough wood grown In the province of Batatn. which resembles teak and will last for centuries on hfnd or water. “Cascoes arc usually propelled by a bamboo pole eighteen or twenty feet long. In the hands of the husky Fili­ pino river men. The (sdes are spiked and padded ao the crews may place them against tlielr shoulders to give force to their pushes The crews num- t>er from five to ten men. and they and their families live almost wholly on rice. flab, oysters, clams and shrimps. Their pay Is a peao a day. about 50 cents. At night the low I« cleared Ostrich» can travel at «rest speech This bat ioni lem known. anJ tbe -lay and the deck spread with palm mata, and on these nten. women and chil­ sulkies and other light vehielea. * "y " dren lie down like sardines In a bos.” in Florid» and proved fro. tbe ___ rery^; ; and intelligent. OSTRICH DRIVEN TO SULKY sä can-lag1* he del not “bock or kick. ba< ked between the sbart« of a c—----- - young bora, ia apt to do. but stood ato 4iy aa though hi» ancestors tions bad been obedient t. the bit and bndle After be was hsrnes go..! o.e .'»cl «i while while to to impress mpre on on a h s > mm., m nd the f.ic. : that .... hewouldI not ~ •[>"> f.st over country r.ad. and street» •• be wo. k a red • « v »r ’hem if* pr^piriuj to truo rf th farm« im rass. tod some or n‘ n >r k K ie fiat i rire between u»rr - that sack ■ «port would eertmal» bee-.ae popu.ar- y > c a*’. . • » HOT WATER FOR HEATING. Hosse Kept at a t nitorm Temperstsrs During Cold Weather. The supply of hot water for public besting systems from a central station Is growing In favor tn smaller towns and It would seem to be the Ideal and most economical method of heating, even in large cities The hot water is Feats that Seem Easy that Cannot Ila Ac com pllshed, A man cannot rise from a chair without liendlng forward or putting his feet under the chair or outside of It. Many a man will back himself to give another a start of fifty yards In a race of 100, provided the man having the start bops all the way. But uo ruuner. however swift cau give that amount of start to an ordinary man. For the first five yards they go ut prae- tically the same pace. Therefore, tbe runner, to go nlnety- five yards, would have to run more than twice as fast, and It would lie a weak man who could not hop forty- live yards at a pace equal to twenty aceoiids for 100 yards and that would mean that the runner. In order to win, would have to beat all previous rew­ ords. If a man boasts that his penknife is particularly sharp, ask him to cue with one stroke of the blade one of those yellow ribbons, mostly of silk, which are around bundles of cigars. In inr.i cases out of 1,000 the knlfo Is not sharp enough to do tills. It will cut through all the ribbon except tbe laut strand and that will pull out long and the more he tries to eut It the longer it will pull out. No one except a blind man, says the New York Herald, can stand without support of any kind tor five minutes at a stretch. If he Is thoroughly blind­ folded. without moving his feet. If ho does not move his feet be Is pretty sure to topple over In aliout a minute. WAS ALMOST A HERO. Didn’t Rescue Anybody, but Nearly Broke Ills Neck. "I know how it feels to be almost a hero." said a young man with a black eye, an arm in a sling and a patch of court plaster adorning hla features. “I live near the Barrett residence at 40th and Pine streets, Which was burned out the other day. I happened to know that Mr». Barrett was 111 In bed, but I did not know that she had been quiet­ ly removed by the back way to a neighbor's house before I arrived on the scene. •'When I got there a colored servant girl wns out In the street pointing fran­ tically to the upper pnrt of the house1, shouting unintelligibly nnd generally acting like a crazy person. Tbe Interior of the1 bouse was already In flames and I Immediately Jumped to the con­ clusion that her mistress wns In dan­ ger of loalng her life. Without waiting to question the girl I rushed Into the house and In groping my way through tbe smoke succeed«! In pitching head long down the buck stnirs. I had sat­ isfied myself, however, that every one had gotten safely out of the house. "When I reached the street again, choking for breath and pretty well bat­ tered up." continued the young man, according to the Philadelphia Record, "the servant girl was still wringing her hands and screaming at the top of her lungs. I asked her what she was car­ rying on that way for. Pointing to a window on the top floor she walled: ‘•'See dnt room up dore? Dat'a my room, an' my two week»' wages la lu iny trunk up dere burnin' up.'" llrath Came with the Mong. It is not often that a musical festival closes so pathetically as did au Elstedd fol at Colwyn Bay. Wales. Welsh choirs were competing melodi­ ously, as usual, anil when the time came for his choir to make Its “ffort, Henry Hughes, a quarry man. mounted a chair to lead It. lu a few moments he tottered and fell. Ready arm» car rl«l him into an anteroom, and the choir. led by E. T. Davies, a clerk, sang on, continuing tlielr melody amid a round of admiring cheers. No other choir excelled the company of songsters whom Hughes had vainly attempted to lead, for they won the prize, and the sounding cheers broke oue again. It was these cheers of triumph that rang In the ears of the falling conduc­ tor as he lay In tbe anteroom, for he was dying. Every effort was made to save him, but In vain; and not the least sad accompaniment of this pa thetlc Incident was the fact that the dying conductor’s own «in and daugh­ ter were singers In the victorious choir A gloom spread over the great audi­ ence as the sad news spread, and the Eisteddfod when the end was reached, closed with deep sorrow. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMIC PAPERS. Pleasant Incidents Occurring the World Over—Haying» t hat Are Cheer­ ful to Old or It Never Came Rack. "Take my advice. Don’t lend Bar- roughs any mouey." “I never did." "Why. you used to. I’m sure, b*- cause—” “No; I used to think I was lending It to hltu, hut I soon discovered It was purely a gift” Young-Funny Helec- Hnmewhal Different, IIIx—Windig evidently Is not a man who hides hla light under a bushel. Dlx—You bet he Isn't On the con­ “I want a piece of bine ribbon that will tie nicely Into a hangman'» knot.' trary. he considers himself the whole Mid the sad-looklng man. addressing electrte power house and imagines the town would Ite In total darkness If bs the saleslady. "This piece will answer your pur­ happened to break down. pose. 1 think.” replied the young lady. Retort Courteous. "How much do you tvqulre?" "It Is to adorn the n«k of my wife's pet dog," repll«i the s. 1. m.. with a sickly smile, "so please cut It accorJ- Ingly.” ______ tions that E ver y body Will Enjoy. Saved by the Hignal Service. Longlelgli Then you didn't propose to Miss Gotrox. after all? Shortlelgh No. My knowl«lge of the signal service «xle saved me from Elephant—W hat did the cauiel »ay making a fool of myself. when the monkey referred to bla Ixinglelgh—Well, put me cm, Shortlelgh Just as I was about to bumps? Giraffe— He said bs didn't want any «Miitnlt myself she hoisted tbe cold­ back talk. wave flag. None the I lest of Him. In A. D. HMML Blobba—BJonea has a suit of clothes First Automobile Girl Why do they have n wooden Indian outside of a cigar for every day In the week. Slobba — So have I. I've got It on »tore? S«-ond Automobile Girl -I give It up! now.—Philadelphia Record. Why do they have a wooden horse out­ More Important, side a leather goods store?—Puck. “Tea." said tbe old doctor, you should try to have your own curriage, by a.l No After Ueaulta. means. Because when you want to get to a patient quickly-----” "O!" interrupted the young M. D., “I don't think any patient who sent for me would l>e likely to die before I reached him." "No. but he might recover before you got there.”—Philadelphia Post. Courtship Too Expensive. Tess -You don’t menu to say they have broken off their engagement? Jess —Yes. Tess Why. I thought they were per­ fectly devoted to each other. Je^w So they are. You see. they have broken off the engagement so that Was Overweight. "I wish I knew of a good way to lie may save enough money to enable raise bread." remarked the wife as she them to get married.—Philadelphia tackled one of her biscuit» at the Press. breakfast table. “A Poor Ktcnne-" "Why not try a derrick, my dear?" “What Is his excuse for not niarry- suggest«! tbe brutal other half of the Ing?" combination. “Says he doesn't want to wear darn­ ed socks. Iler Opinion. Mr. Quinn 1 never gazed upon such beautiful brie a brae as the Harwoods have In their parlor. And they’ve had It for years. Mrs. Quinn (contemptuously) Oh, It Just shows that they can't afford keep a servant. If they hud maid that brie a brac would never there so long. Chicago News. The Octopus. “What!" ejaculated the man. "Four bun lr«l dollars for that dress?" "Yes.” answered the wife, soothing ly, "It is the train that makes it so expensive." "Ab h-h!” groan«l the husband, "that cut's«! railroad trust aga'u!" "How's thnt?” "Aw, rubbin' n three thousand dollar “What do you think of the new min­ policy on a $2.000 barn!” ister's Hermon?" Inquired Mr. Uuiu- Ordinary Effort Wasted. rox's wife. Clara -Is It true that Mabel Is suing "Well," he replied. “1 gu<*ss it wasn't her husband for divorce? very good.” Maude—Yes. and I don't blame her. “Upon what do you Imae your opin­ She was handicapped right from the ion?" start "I understood every word of It anil Clara —Why, how was that? really interested." “Washington Maude Her husband had Indigestion before they were married.—Chicago Newt. The Reverence for Obscurity. The had Par*. Hatteraon—What! You've had fourteen cooks In three months! Mrs. Patterson Yea. And I didn’t please any of them.—Life. Justifiable. “John! Didn't you swear off swear tng the first of the year?” John (who has Just stepped on a tack)—I did, and I'm swearing off again now! Biggs -I see your friend Cutting has engaged In a new business. He ad­ vertises himself as a man milliner. Itlggs—Well, what of It? You cer­ tainly wouldn't expect him to pose ns a woman milliner, would you?—Chica­ go News. Other l.'ses. Mendicant-Please, lady, will you give 10 cents to a poor man to keep him from starving? It Must Have Been. Miss Flyte— Mercy no. I can't afford Miss Fisher—Now, w hat would you It! Why, I’ve got to get my npruig suit say my age wns? this week.-Somerville Journal. Mr. Sharpe- Eighteen. Miss Fisher (coyly)- How prompt you No Other Inference. are. You speak as If you had certain Bllllcus—The secret of hnpplnesa Is knowledge. to mnrry one'» opposite. Mr. Bhar|>o— Of course, I knew It was Cynlcus -Then a man must tie a fool that at one time—Philadelphia Press. to marry a brainy woman. Philadel­ phia Record. Where Ills Genius Shone. The Latter Part. “I tell you that poet Is n genius." "What part of my sermons do you “A genius? Why, bls stuff Is tbe enjoy most?" asked Rev. Dr. Long- worst I ever read." wind. "I know." “The conclusions you reach." replied “But why do you call him a genlua?" "Because he auci'eeds lu aeillug IL”— Deacon Kaudld.—Philadelphia Record. Philadelphia Itecord. Tbe Higher Education. “You believe lu tbe higher education At the Play. "Where are you going, my pretty for women?” “Well, I hardly know; hut my daugh­ maid?' ter says that now adays a girl who “To the play, kind sir,” she said. "What do you there, my pretty maid?” can't play basket twill and fence isn't "Slander my neighbors, sir," she said. In IL” Awful I’oMlbllity. Telephones Hurt lloads. “Neither the wide ocean nor Iron bars will keep me from you, my love!" he cried, fervently. "But, Reginald,” whispered the Judge's daughter, as she trembled with apprehension, "what If papa should Is­ sue an injunction?’ It la an odd fact, but true, that some steam railroads have complained of the barm done to their l>est claw of passen­ ger traffic hy the longdistance tele­ phone. while hotels In Western cities have also attributed a reduction of patronage to the same cause. Travel lietween this city and St. I-oula. for ex­ ample. la said to have been appreciably cut down by the telephone. Snob a re­ sult would seem difficult to trace tan­ gibly, although one meets people dally who. to avoid weary trips, have gov­ erned themselves on tbe Injunction: "IkMi't travel; telephone.” But the tel­ egraph and tbe mall have also been de­ terrents. end If there Is any validity to the alleged reason the high speed elec­ tric travel of the future may restore the former conditions.—Chicago Chronicle. Behind the Keene». "Dear me!” exclaimed the aoubratte, "I’ve broken one of my earrings. What Fatality. "When I began business,” said the shall I do?" “Telephone for a glazier.” suggested plutocrat wearily. "I made a vow that whenever 1 bad earned an even million tbe low comedian .- -Chicago News. I would quit.” t p Against It. "Why. you've done that many times Smith—What's lhe trouble, old man? over, long ago." said tbe other man. You look as If a squall had struck you. "yet you are still accumulating ” Jones Worse than that, my tmy. I’ve "That a the curse of It Whenever I just been struck hy twn squalls think I've made the even million I find Nmltb Why. how's that? on figuring it up it's either a little more Jones- Got twins at our bouse. or a little leas, and I’ve got to renew As It should Be. tbe struggle.” Bigg» A cousin of mine was married People often wonder w by a girl mar on tbe west side yesterday. rlea the most undesirable man of b«-r D'gga—That's queer. acquaintance. If they knew he wa> Biggs—What's queer about It? the only one to propose they would Do Digs»—Why didn't be get married no longer wonder. all sides while be waa about It? “D om With His Feelings, your neighbor’s daughter pi«yr "Play! flea." Wings of riches are not wrong enough to bear away the expensive tastes they bring.