NEVER CHANGE.
«"“•‘o ¡* Jaat th* .«me
I K .■ . ' B S-i-»■'!- ire * tiini s.
/ p_r ux-os »’ round and the gul» aj
STITCHED SHIRT WAISTS.
TOBOGGANING WITH ELEPHANT.
RIVEN QUEER NAMES.
Hunter Best* the Furious Auiinsl la a
CoiltVkt of W kt«.
I
I I j» shea
»triage
Bid »rote bi* rhyme*.
(fw re»d in the srhole endurin' lot
uai by men of fame—
fn. irtd 'em all—«u I tell you what,
yje girl» is jest the «ame.
Byron. Dryden.
J'betv «*’
!■■>!*• t Thom*’ Moore,
I A»' bi'»** of
1 Jiris, su’ 0,_b‘^te4 hOt*'
1 rw uat of •----
U' by the *' "• th*‘T •«'o'*-
. «ame
— as
« Bobby Burns
Burn»
. r
«re the
8«J
. -------
Ss« is • , “
J refrain-
refrain—
r,.. ai. rv man «tuilies 'em. less be lesrn»,
fur seek research is in vain.
I
yb« mooo an' the women they make no
change.
to-aaj.
sing to-day;
A» p«*1’v--- round. an
moon » ”
strange^
•mu«»
the »irl«
girla •»
i' that's the mournful lay.
an*
as calm
bright.
round the world she whirls—
A» i-----
—. hr
They »scar
by the
the moon
moon in th* dreary
sight,
Ao' »wear about the girla.
-Baltituure American,
An' m.Hin joe» on. jest
The
The G»ty Swell
HEN Mllly Ranscome return
ed from a six months’ visit to
die city she was accompanied
I»ll:i!".' I.iivrenei', a tall, slim young
I
r.i.ics of the newest
Ipiblon Md ivenrliig upon bis light
| - i -
l- ' ■» liaI- a fatal thing
:!»• little, uarrow-mlnded town
| vf Groton. “A city swell" be was at
„ore pronounced, and no type can ex-
prw the ineffable scorn with which
tbfSn* words were uttered.
Mllly’» father, an old fashioned, stub
born man. looked at the newcomer and
his clothes and then with a grunt of
disapproval left the room to stable the
At supper Mr. Kanseome talk-
ed of nothing but farming and seemed
rather pleased at the Ignorance of bis
piest on the subject.
Harry Lawrence, however, was too
deeply in love with the pretty face op
posite him to resent it or even uotlce
it He told Willy's father that lie In-
t»W stopping In the village for a fe.v
diji
'Daft ye work?" asked the old man
tkuply.
"Xot In summer. I teach chemistry
la the university, you know, It does
not open until September.” The old
mtn grunted again, and poor Willy's
cheeks grew redder, and she proposed
■ walk.
The news of the now arrival had
spread through the village like wlld-
fire, anil every window they passed
seemed to frame a pair of prying eyes.
Some few who passed them even snick
ered audibly, and Mllly was in dis-
Tlie now shirt waist models are fasci
nating Indeed. White seems to take the
lead and the combination of black and
white comes next lu popularity. The
most marked change in the new models
la the great amount of stitching used
and the large buttons down the front.
The stitched waists have a tailor-made
effect nnd are bound to lie popular. One
especially pretty one was made of rath
er coarse white linen, having four 2-
Inch box plaits down the front stitched
llfted off bis feet and shaken uutH bls
teeth chattered.
“Y'ou brute." was hissed In bls ear.
and he was sharply pulled to bls feet,
The hand which had held bls collar
now moved down to bis arm and felt
like a vise.
"Pick her up and take her home,”
said a stem voice, and when the man.
sobered by the attack, looked around
at hla assailant, he faced the flashing
eye* of "the city swell.”
Something in the set of the square
jaw and the numb feeling which pos-
sessed the arm which the young man
still grasped cowed the bully, and h“
walked along with his wife without a
word.
Harry I-awrence settled his tall hat
on bis head again, wiped his bands
daintily ami turned toward the car
riage. An old man left the group of
silent spectators and held out his hand
to him. It was Mr. Itmiseome.
“Fine evenin', Mr. Lawrence," he
said.
Harry showed all his white teeth in
a smile, while he shook the man's hand
heartily. “Isn't It tine? Never saw bet
ter. Good-evening.” and he gathered
the reins again and drove on.
When they had left the village Mllly
stole a look at him. Ilis face seemed
sad and his thoughts were far away.
"Are you still thinking about that
man?" she asked gently.
“No," be replied.
"What are you thinking about that
makes you so-------- ” she stopped, star
tied at her own temerity.
"I am thinking how 1 shall get along
without you.” Mllly gasped. “I liau
buoyed myself up with the hope that
you cared for me, a little anyway, but
when to-night 1 asked you----- ”
"Yon didn’t ask me anything,” came
the demure interruption.
The young man looked at the blush
ing. downcast face beside him, and felt
a rush of new life within him. When
they returned from the drive a dia
mond flashed on the third finger of
Mllly Ranscome's band, and she had
promised to marry the city swell.—In
dianapolis Sun.
AN AMAZING YOUNG WOMAN
She Is English to the core, and has
startled New York society. She rides
astride, fences, dances, talks, sings,
plays, and Is an athlete. She attended
the Paderewski recital given by Will
lam C. Whitney in bis New York home.
Upon this occasion I.ady Constance
electrified the guests by performing a
She looked at his hands and realized
wddenly that they were whiter tliau
her own, Ills hat and bls-------------------
shoes shone
like mirrors and a ruler could not be
straighter than the crease In his light
trouser».
er I»
« D' f
efwoi
War
y.
U-cntv
m P»«
it U»
tnS^
¥»«•
idr «*
unk»
. task-
■e O'*
Ml?
She might have known how country
people would take these things. Pour
Mllly. »he liked him very much, nnd
ihe wanted everyone else to like him.
’' that it was a very uncomfortable lit
tle girl who crept between the sheets
that night
The next few days were bard ones
for her. Her girl friends laughed when
they passed Milly and Harry, and more
than once she heard someone say:
"Just out of a bandbox” and "mam-
ttia's boy.”
And all the time she knew that she
loved him.
One evening they started for a drive
behind the old family horse. “Don't let
him run away with you,” called Mr.
Kanscotne. as they ambled out of the
barn. Lawrence laughed goo 1 natured
1?. "I guess I can hold blm In.”
The moon, round and mellow, rose
•lowly and lighted the leafy road for
them, the breath of new-mown bay
came to them in the soft breeze and the
«rickets chirped blithely.
“Mllly, 1 have to go back In a couple
of days, and I want to ask you a ques-
tion first Can you guess what It is?”
He laid his hand upon hers gently and
aha
—»—» —
-
•he b
I(»oke<l
up at - - blm.
Ilis soul was In
hi« eye».
'bun t ask It,” she said quickly.
Do
mean you
say no?
w you
you mean
you would
would say
----- she
--
be asked, aud
noted the pain In
hi» voice.
“Oh. here Is the village." she said.
UI be turned away.
They passed the tiny shop and the
»Hering trough and then they noticed
» group of people outside the only sa
loon In the place. An ugly-looking tnau
Mood on the sidewalk, and a pale little
soman was ls*slde blm. trying to in
to'e him to come home.
The man wa* the village drunkard
whose temper w as of such repute that
ho one ever Interfered with blm or
crossed bi* purposes.
The constable had once attempted to
•rtest him. but after two weeks in J
hospital be tad seen the futility of bis
cffsrt«,
Tte Ranscome buggy was Just oppo-
vte the saloon when the woman put
h»v hand on the man's arm and tried
turn him homeward*. With an oath
th» man struck her and she fell to the
«Uad. Not * man In the crowd move«l.
•uddenly the drunkard felt h.mself
LADY CONSTANCE MACKENZIE.
Highland sword dance after two walk
ing sticks were placed upon the floor.
There seems to be nothing that this ver
satile young woman cannot do well. In
London she is noted not only for her
athletics, but for her love of farming,
her fancy for baby boa constrictors as
pets, and her patronage of kindergar
tenlng.
MENTAL CAPACITY OF A ‘CHICK.’
They Learn Readily to Do Those Actions
Which Bring Food and Ease.
In IStai I made a great many experl
merits with young chicks, testing their
ability to learn a variety of perform
ances. such as getting out of a tsix by
peeking at a certnin spot on a door or
by Jumping upon a little platform or by
pulling down a string with their necks,
escaping from a pen by going up a
Elephants are so ofteu the winner* APPELLATIONS SOME CHILDREN
In an encounter with men that It is
MUST STRUGGLE UNDER.
rather Interesting to learn from Chums
of oue that was fairly outwitted
It
was an African elephant, taller I g. ter
and uimbler tliau the Asiatic va.iety.
Like most elephant*, when roused he
proved himself callable of considerable
gymnastic feats.
Au English sportsman. out after ele
The most curious name perhaps ever
phants. had wounded a magniti cent bestowiil upuu a girl is that of Airs
specimen. Unfortunately for him the and Graces. She is now about four
wound wa* slight, and the animal, } ears old, her name being registered at
1838,
on either edge in black. I-arge whits greatly infuriated, turned and charged Somerset House, London, in
him.
when she was buptixed.
NVbat she
pearl buttons duwu the front and on
It was a terrifying sight. NV th Its will thluk of these cogomens wbeu she
the cuffs and stock of black and whit*
dotted taffeta.
Belt of black velvet enormous ears spreai out like »alls, arrives at maturity Is difficult to Im
ribbon. Another stunning model has aud emitting shrill notes of rage, the agiue. ilor sister'* name la equally
wide Inverted plaits on each shoulder, monster came thundering over the unique Nuu Nicer. When Airs and
covering the gathering* in the top of ground like a runaway locomotive. The Graces and Xuu Nicer arrive at the
sleeve. Five small stitched tucks, hunter fin'd a second shoe hut missed age of maturity at least one of them
should marry u youth whose Christian
either side of the front at the neck, HI* nerve w as
name compares favorably—for exam
give the fullness to the front. Stock down his rifle.
ple, Acts of the Apostles. This is a
of black satin ribbon with white Unen flight.
Near at hatid was a steep hill, and name found on an English parish reg
turnover.
toward tills lie turned; for being but istei: Actsapostle, soli of Ttiouias aud
slightly acquainted with the climbing Elizabeth Pegilen, was baptized Aug
ladder or following an Intricate path powers of elephant*, lie thought his 2. 171)5. Again this mime figures In
through a maze, etc., writes Prof. Ed pursuer might be (milled by the steep record* In 1833, when Acts of tlie
ward J. Thorndyke, of Columbia Uni IK'S* of the ascent. It was a terrible Apostles, sou of Richard aud Pbelie
versity, In tlie International Monthly. disappointment to find that the ele- Kenuett. was baptised. Tills name,
They learn readily to abandou those pliant could climb a bill us quickly us curious as it la. Is preferable to W bat.
acts which bring discomfort and to lie could, good runner thouub be was. or Duiu Spiro Spero -uames with
emphasize those which are successful
He would have been speedily over u hieli children have Lieeu baudieapped.
in securing them food, shelter, warmth taken If he had not thought of an ex
It was a [latriotie American who lie-
and the companionship of their fellows. pedient. lie knew that elephants never stowed upon her young hopeful the
Their learning, like that of the fishes. run or even walk down a steep Incline, name of Declaration of Independence,
Is essentially a process of selection. but always crouch, gather their feet ¡'lie most warlike name on record is
For instance, a chick is confined in a together, lean well back and slide that of Robert Alma Balaclava Inker
cage from which It can escape only by down. Just as the furious animal got man Sebastopol l'elhi liugdale, who
peeking at a certain s[H>t. and so open within a few yard* of him. therefore, is au English innkeeper's sou; a sim
Ing the door. It sees other chicks and the hunter suddeuly doubled aud ran ilar name Is Richard t'oeur de l.lun
food outside and reacts to the situation down the bill again.
l i ler \\ .liter Hill.
(confinement) according to Its inborn or
Quick ns a flash the elepl ant turned,
•About loo years ago a snowstorm In
ganization. by running about, peeping, too. gathered itself together, and trum Western Pennsylvania set in the 1st
Jumping at the walls, trying to squeeze peting with rage, slid down after the of March; there were mauy weeks of
through any small openings and peek man. The hunter had Just time to sleighing, traditional for years for the
ing at the barriers confining it. The spring out of tlie way ns the great beast length of time it lasted. What did a
chick feels a score or more of impulses came tobogganing after him. smashing Mr. Smith do. who happened to have
to a score or more of acts. If its re trees and shrubs, and carrying every a troy born about this time but name
action include one particular act— thing before It like an avalanche.
him Seven W eeks Sleighing In March,
namely, a peek at a certain spot—it of
Once more the hunter dashed to the j He usually weut by the name of
course escapes. This one act is fol top of the hill, while the elephant, un Weeks. His initials were all written
lowed by freedom, food and general able to stop Itself, went careering down , out - 8. W. S. I. M. Smith.
comfort. Hie other acts resulted only to the very foot, where, apparently un
Parents of large families need no
in a continuance of the unpleasant soli derstanding that It had been outwitted, assurance that the advent of another
tary confinement.
and feeling sore and disappointed it child is not always as welcome In fact
If. after the chick has enjoyed free rose to Its full height and walked wear as In theory, but It Is scarcely kind to
dom for awhile, we put it iulo tlie cage ily back to its native woods.
make the child bear a token of dis
again we have a repetition of the first
approval all its life. It must la* rather
event, except that the chick is likely to
terrible to go through life, for example
run and peep and Jump and squeeze
us Not Wanted .lames. What Another,
less and to peck at the door sooner. If
Only Fancy William Brown, or even
we continue this process, so that the
as Last of 'Em Harper, or Still An
chick is again and again confronted by
other Hewitt. And yet all these are
the situation "confinement in a I h > x of
names which the foolish caprice of
such mid such appearance"—It con
parent* has imposed on innoeeut chil
stantly decreases the useless acts and
dren.
performs the suitable one sooner and
About
year* ago. it is said, more
sooner, until finally it pecks at the spot
than half the men were named either
immediately whenever put Into that
John or William.
In the thirteenth
box. It has learned, we say, to get out
century Williuiu was the commonest
of the box by pecking at a certain spot
name; lu the next century John took
It Is said that Mrs. Harrison
nounees tier "Calmady” with the accent the lead, while Thomas, Richard and
PLANNED FOR LARGEST SHIPS.
Robert the next most common names.
on the middle syllable.
Among old surnames are Jumps,
Locksof NicaraguaCanal to Accom mo
Mrs. Voynich’s romance. "The Gad
dule Biggeat Veaaela Aflout.
fly.” although publlslH-d over four April. Marriage, Every Ink. Pink Ink,
The Federal statute under which the years, was sent to press recently for Its Ilogsett and Cheese. Any oue of these,
Isthmian Canal Commission was cre twenty-third edition by Ileury lloll A however, is a more cheerful name than
Pine Collin, which Is English, and very
ated required that body to make exam Company.
proud the Pine Coffins are sniil to lie of
inations and devise plans for a canal
Miss Allee Colwell Hognn. author of
of sufficient navigable depth and of the "Mrs. Wiggs of the Cabbage Patch," llielr name. An American lady spend
requisite dimensions to accommodate published by the Century Company ing some time m Devonshire. England,
mot at an afternoon ten Mr. Pine Cof
the largest vessels afloat.
was bom in Louisville. Ky., where she
As a rule, merchant ships are longer , has been prominent In social and liter fin, Mr. Delth (pronounced death), nnd
than naval vessels, while the latter ary life, Her sense of humor is very Miss Graves. Mr. Delth could have
class have relatively much the greater keen. Till lately she lias written mainly twisted his name In some way. but he
beam or width. The longest vessel now j short stories. Mrs. Wiggs Is her first did not, and wns much offended if It
afloat is the Oceanic of the White Star efl'ort as u Action writer.
were given any other pronunciation
Line; it has a length of practically 704
tin) n Death.—St. Louis Globe- Demo-
Miss Marie Van Vorst. who bus done
crat.
feet It is quite probable that within
I some excellent work as a short storv
a comparatively short time longer ves
writer, Is a daughter of Judge Van
THE OTHER SIDE.
sels will be built, but it would mani
Vorst. of New York, formerly l.’linneel
festly lie impracticable for the commis
lor of New York, president of the t'en Snap Juilgnient* Do Not Always Do
sion to take into consideration the pos
Justice to Character.
tury Club, and founder of the llollnni
sible development of ship design for an
We often comment on the set of gen
I Society of that city. Miss Van Vorst
Indefinite future ¡»eriod.
wrote the honeymoon novel. "Bagsby's eroslty that was not done; but we may
It was, then, necessary to consider
Daughter” (Hmpers), Iti colla bora tlou not know the act of greater generosity
those vessels at present afloat whose
that was done; the greater sacrifice
with tier sister-in-law.
dimensions are the largest yet used,
Kate Sanborn says she is "dog tired that forbade the lesser. In Ills "Essays
and design the canal and its works so
of an Optimist,” John William Kaye
as to afford a reasonable margin beyond I of historic novels;" that she welcomes tells of an Incident which happened
tai in of fat Jews mid slim Italians, mid
those limits, but not so great as to in
when he was a boy at school, and il
volve excessive cost. To meet these 1 doll faced flirts mid silly egotists, and lustrates well the nd visability of not
heroes mid heroines In working clothes,
conditions the locks were designed to
who ilo not slash with sabers and Judging loo quickly us to generosity or
give a clear length of 740 feet and a
prance alnint oil Impossible steeds, de the lack of It.
clear width of 84 feet The greatest
our senior usher It was a large pri
stroying or mashing all they encounter.
Is'iim or breadth of warship at present
She has bad enough of cavaliers and vate school was a lllieral, o[>en hand
is practically 77 feet. The locks, there
ed fellow; he dressed well, and sub
royal lovers anil duels.
fore. meet the requirements of the law
scribed handsomely to the cricket club.
People
will
ask
you:
Have
you
rend
and give some room for developments
But the second usher was an lntoler
Ruskin?
Have
you
read
Dickens?
Have
beyond the maximum limits of size al
able screw. HI* conduct ii|>|>eiii-eil as
you read Macaulay? Ilaie you rend
ready attained.
shabby as Ills coat. Of course our no
It is well known that ships drawing Tennyson? As their thoughts turn to tion was that lie was by nature a skin
ward
Concord,
however,
they
speak
in
as much as thirty-two feet in sea water
flint, and that lie bad boards of gold,
have entered or passed from Ni'w York another tense: Do you read Emerson I lie was a man otherwise of a kindly
harbor as well as some other ports This is as it should be. 1 only wish wr nature and u harmless way of life, so
and there is no reason to believe that could confidently ask the like question we despised rather than hated hlui.
the limit of draught has yet been reach respecting other authors. —From Deaf But It came out afterward that lie ha.I
ed. It was. therefore, decidl'd that the ness and Cheerfulness.
an aged mother and two sisters, rely
Conan Doyle thinks his best book 1» ing solely for their maintenance on his
least navigable depth In the canal
should lie thirty-five feet, and that limit "The White Company.” Stanley Wey scanty earning*.
has be»n carefully observed throughout man believes that the opinion of th«
The saddest thing of all was—I know
Its entire length. In the hnrbor en writer ns to the merits of his book '» nothing sHdder In history —that con
valueless.
“
I
have
never
read.
”
he
says
trances at the extremities of the canal,
teinplatlng. at the end of one half year,
says William H. Burr, in Scribner's, “ten pages of any hook I have written. | a pleasant surprise for these [»>or [ h - o -
this depth of thirty five feet Is provided after publication. II. G. Wells does not pie. be walked home, a hundred miles,
know which is bls best book: he thinks under a June huh , and ap|s-nred unes
at mean low tide.
well or ill of one on one score, and of peeteilly among them one sultry even-
A Queer Servian < ustom.
another on another score.
Ing, only to fluil that all three were
A traveler through Servin will often
hopelessly drunk.
notice dolls hung up Inside the cottage
*Twai a No ft Piere.
Next half we had a now usher, and
windows. He learns that the dolls are
There In a «tory told of an Irishman
put up as a sign to announce to way who was arrested for throwing a p ece for a little space there was a belief
among u* that the poor fellow had
farers that a marriageable daughter of coal at a friend and breaking hla
saved money enough to start a school
Jaw. When the case came up in court
dwells In the house.
of his own; but the truth as I have told
the prisoner admitted bls guilt
Delicate Work.
It oozed out. with this pathetic addi
“You admit, then.” said the Judge,
A Baltimore engraver ba* put the
tion. that he had gone hopelessly mad.
“that you threw the piece of coal that
alphabet on the head of a common pin.
We were then very much grieved at
broke the man’s Jaw?”
The work took only an hour and a half.
the rash Judgments that we had pass
was
the
reply;
“Yis. air. yer honor."
ed. and got up a sitbsi ription. the larg
"but"—In an excusatory tone—"It war
est ever known In the school, which
soft coal."— Minneapolis Journal.
kept him In comfort until he died. In
this Instance It was a point of honor
Prospective Troubles.
“The Americans are invading every and conscience with us all to make
mercantile field. ' said one European sacrifice of self and deny ourselves for
the benefit of the man wo had wronged,
artist
"Yea,’* answer«! the other. "The first and I am sure, let alone the satisfaction
thing we know they w ill be producing of such an atonement, that the lesson
the 'old roaster»' that thpy so miicli we had all learned was worth the mon
enjoy purchasing on their own •c- ey ten times told.
CHANGES BEING WROUGHT IN THE OIL COUNTRY
count."— Washington Star
I
American Oil Favored.
E.1L* D.TÎ.WÆZ?? -
rar wmivf d wiCHiwzK -
a
ABOUT THE JAPAN CURRENT.
Kuro Slwo Piles Great QuantlGe* of
American shore. Such a thing ba> I
[»■tied almost within the memory of
man.
In 1832 nine Japanese fisher
men were left derelict aud unable to
find their way back to the shore. They
weut with the current, aud after a
drift lasting several months they were
carried to Hawaii.
Trees, torn by storms from the banks
of Asiatic river*, frequently ttoat
across the 1‘acltle on the American
coast.
Betweeu Kakatag and Kyak
islands, about 1,200 miles northwest
of Seattle. enormous piles of thia drift
wood cover the beaches. There can be
no question of the Asiatic origin of the
timber. They are the trunk« of the
cauiplior tree, the mango and the ma-
hogauy. Logs 150 feet lung and eight
feet lu diameter are frequently found.
Many of them are seen floating shore
ward. with fantastic roots standing
high above the waves, In places the
logs are piled twenty feet high. They
are generally without bark, which has
been peeled off by the waves, and most
of them have latcotue white aud heavy
from Impregnation with salt water. As
they pile up. the sauds drift over them
and gradually they sluk out of sight,
and new beaches are formed. This
process has been going on for ages,
anil the shore Hue is being steadily ex
tended. ExeavatloUs aloug the beach
show that the texture of the burled
timber gets harder and harder the fur
ther In you go. until In some Instances
petrifaction ha* taken place. Other
excavation* show logs that have
turned to coal.
The presence of Siberian driftwood
on the shores of Greenland, say* a
writer In Aiuslie'a, convinced Nansen
that his Idea of drifting across the
Polar sea in the Fratu was logical.
Great quantities of the wood are an
nually cast on the coast* of Spitsber
gen and Novaya Zemblya, and there
are tribes of Greenlaud Eskimos wlio
depend for sledge runners and other
wooden implements on the drift from
Siberian forests
For years they de
pended for irou Implements on the
hoops of casks which came to them
over seas.
THE WRONG LETTER.
A Note of
Introduction that
Badly Astray.
Went
Letter* of Introductlou are not lnvnrl-
ably serviceable. For one reason, they
may be too frank. Harry Furnlss, in
hi* “Confession« of a Caricaturist,”
*ays that when a brother artist was
setting forth on his travels In foreign
clluie*. he was provided with a letter of
Introduction to a certain British consul.
The writer of the letter enclosed It in
one to the artist, saying that he would
find the consul a most arrant snob, a
bumptious, arrogant humbug, a cad to
the backbone. 8(111, he would probably
offer *ome courtesies to any one who
bail a good social standing, and thus
compensate the traveler for having 1«
come In contact with such an Insuffer
able vulgarian.
On the return of the artist to Eng
land, the writer of the letter* naked
how he had fared with the consul.
“Well, my dear fellow." drawled til«
artist, "he did not receive me very
warmly, and he did not ask me to din
ner. In fact, be struck me as being
rather cool.”
“Well, you do surprise me,” rejoined
his friend, "lie’s a cad, as I tolil you
In my letter, but he's very hospitable,
and I really can't understand this state
of thing*. You gave him my letter of
Introduction T‘
"Why, I thought so; but. do you
know, on my Journey home I discov
ered It In my pocketbook. Bo I must
have handwl to him instead your uote
to me about him!”
The explanation wa* quite adequate
Not Unreasonable, After All.
They were sitting In the corner gro
cery stUrc. exchanging the confidences
of the fishing season, and a* the con
versation progressed the stories stead
ily Increased In size. At last, says the
New York Times, the tall, lank man
on the cracker barrel pulled himself to
gether and began:
"I went down to the river this morn
ing. and although the water wa* high
almost to a flood, I took a ten foot
pike----- ”
"Slop there," exclaimed the fat man
with the corn-cob pipe. “Tell us you
took ail eight pound trout, nnd I'll sit
Idly by. But a ten foot pike, never!"
"1 took a ten-foot pike-pole.” con
tinued the unruttled man on the cracker
barrel, “and In les* than five minutes
I hooked out a fifteen-foot bass----- ”
“See here! See here!" shouted the
owner of the grocery. “You’ll have to
go away from here to finish that story.
1 haven't any lightning rods on this
«tore yet.”
"I hooked out a fifteen-foot basswood
Ing.” persisted the tall man. “and 1
was going to ask how much you think
I can get for It."
A Belated Discovery.
Mrs. Norton came home from a call
one <lay In such a disturbed condition
that It wa* evident that tears were not
far In the background. She lost no
time In beginning her explanation.
"John," she «aid to her husband, "I
am so mortified I don't know what to
do!"
“What la the matter, Joanna?" aaked
Mr. Norton.
"I have Just been calling on Mrs Pev-
erlll. You know her bus baud. Major
Peverlll?"
“Yes."
“Well, I Jnst learned to-day that 'Ma
jor” Isn't bl* title at all. ‘Major* is bls
first name.”
“Why. certainly. I've always known
that. What Is there so mortifying
about ItT’
"Nothing." sab! Mrs. Norton, with a
groan, “only that I've been calling him
'Major* every time I've met him for
the last ten years!"
PrrMnc. of Mind,
“I think It was the most touching
play I ever saw, yet there sat Maud
Garllngborn a* dry eyed a* could be.”
"Because she knew she would have
to be dry cheeked when she came out
under the glare of the electric light."—
Chicago Tribune.
An Iu«luu.i:. nc
“Iley claim to M
connected wiib some ut the best Luu-
files " "By telephone:
Philadelphia
Eveulug Bulletin.
Sarah s... a worth a mill on. and Just
the right age for you. Jerry—Any girl
worth a million 1» the right age tor
me.-Londou T't Bit*.
Because you are better than the man
you despise does nut mean that you
are not worse than those who despise
you.—New York Press.
Edith You -ay Mr. Goldley deceived
Edith dreadfully about hi* age?
Gladys—Yes, pour girl! After they
were married he confessed that he was
only slxtv Instead of seventy five.
Cassidy—Why don't ye ate yer din
ner? Casey—bhure. this is E roiday ail’
Ol'm wouderin.’ Cassidy— What are ye
wonderlu'? Casey—Is turtle soup tlx‘a
whin it's made out o' veal?—Philadel
phia Press.
Guest (impatiently!—Say. waiter, how
loug baie you been employed here?
Waller—'Bout a week. sab. Guest—Uh,
Is that all? Then I must have given
my older to some other waiter.—Cnl-
cage Daily News.
Pleasant While It Lasted: "What
would you do if you woke up sums
luoruing to find that you had inherited
a million dollars?" "I'd tutu over -u
the other side nnd try to dream it
again."—Chicago Record Herald.
The Author s Privilege; An author
wrote to his publisher: "Can 1 hope for
any royalties from my book this year?”
The publisher replied: "Yes, you can
hope. There's uotliing in the world to
hinder you.”—Atlanta Constitution.
'I lie Test In Harlem. Gazzmn tafter
lie lias succeeded lu waking tils wife)—
Open the dorsti! Mrs Gazz.mn ihead
out of the second-story window»-Are
you sober? Gazzatn Yeah. Mrs Gaz-
zam—Then say ’•eclprocity.-Harlem
Life.
"Kape alive,
Collapsed Building.
Mike! We're resctiia’ ye." \ oiee (troia
the debris) is Ing Clancy op there wid
ye? "Sure he It.” "Ast him wud ne
be so kind as I' step a fl lbe i ' oo I iis I ve
enough on top av me widout him." —
Brooklyn l.lfe.
Why lie Returned: “Old you ionie
buck for something you forgol?" u-si' l
Mrs. Darley. when her biisu.ind return
ed to the house a few minutes afi r
leaving. "No. iny dear." replied lie. 'I
eanie back for something I remember
ed."—Town Tuples.
"What is the inmterY' asked the lit
erary man's friend. "I don't know
what I am going to do about this
week's Work." "What is tlie trouble?”
"I can't Ibink of any Interesting ques
tions to ask myself In m.v Answers to
Correspoudent* column." - Washington
Star.
He—My denr. we have cause
congratulation.
I have Just recelvel
notice of an unexpected Increase of
ten dollars n»r month In my wages.
She You dear, sweet lovely old boy.
How perfeetiT charming you are when
under the Influence of the X raise.—
Chicago Tribune.
Doctor (finding patient emptying a
bottle of wine)—Here. here, my good
man. this will never do. That's the
cause of nil the trouble.
E'acetlous
Patient Well, then, till your glass,
doctor. Now we ve found the cause,
the sooner we get rid of It the better.
—Detroit Free Press.
Fast aud I'uiluus.-Bnckstop— I’m
glad to see that you are making a
name for yourself ns an author, old
man. Scrlblet (modestly)—Yes. Hon
ors are being heaped on mg. Why. ,t
was only yesterday thnt I learned that
my lutest book had Is-en thrown out
of the Boston Library.-Bazar.
Compoalte: Dasbaway — Qullldrlver
seems to be a fellow of extremes—oue
who writes awful slnidi and sublime
prose, and who Is at the same time an
idiot and a genius. Cleverton—Where
did you get such an Idea? Dasha way—
I’ve Just been reading the reviews of
bls latest book.-Harper's Bazar.
Papa’s Consent.-She— Isn't It love
ly? Papa consents. He— Doi's he, real
ly? She-Yes. He wanted to know
who you were, nnd 1 told tilui you were
tape clerk at Scrimp A Co.'*, and be
seemed real pleased. He- I am delight-
! ed She-Yes, and be said we could
lie married Just as soon as you were
takeu Into the firm.—New York Week
ly.
Quite another matter: Aarons—“I>ld
you hear dot latest a Isold Fiukelstelu?”
Jacobs— "No.
N at vas II?” Aarons—
“Vy, be gave twenty-five tons«nd dol
lar* last Friday to dot leedle poy vat
vn* run over mlt dem. street cars."
Jacob*—“Is Finkelstein gon* grazy al
ready ? Vol alls him dot lie do such a
Aarons—“Oh. Le vas on der
ding?”
Jury.”—Life.
“BuL uiauima." said the beautiful
South American heiress, “do you be
lieve 1 will have any trouble In being
received In society In the United
Btules?” ”1 don't see why.” answered
her mother; “you have plenty of mon
ey. and yuu can make the Is-at of them
look like small change w hen It comes
to being a dr'gbter of the revolution.'
—Indianapolis Kun.
Hla face *ai pinched and drawn.
With faltering footsteps be w ended hl*
way among the hustling throng Anon
tie puusetL “Kind air." be exclaimed,
“will you not give me a loaf of bread
for my wife and little ones?” Th*
stranger regarded him not unkindly.
"Fur lie It from me." lie rejoined, "to
take advantage of your destitution.
Keep your wife and little ones I do
not want them" And. turning upoa
bls heel, lie strode sway
At B.ric.ln
Rats*.
“Charles. ' sad the a fleet onate little
wife, “didu t you tell me those
chips cost *1 apiece?”
"Tee.”
“Well, here's a whole box full of all
color* that I bought nt a bargain couli
ter for 75 cents." - Harlem Life
Because of the | • ■ r quality of Rus
Driftwood on Alaska's Shores.
petroleum supplied it the tiré-
In one *> use. the kuro sfwo, or Japan
ernnient has ordered In •Nie w
current. 1» the most Interestirg In the
),!**! gallons.
World. 1» auw many oceanographer*
(irrni.m Hctxx>l In Venice.
IsHleve It wa* the direct mean* of
Courtship Is apt to make a young
Venice lias a German school. which,
rl ger- peopling America. This much. at least,
couple so light headed that they can however, has more lulniii than Ger
la certain: If a ls<at were to be *et
dispense with gas
man children
adrift on part* of the Asiatic coast and
Home of the old classics are so hot
survived all storms, the Japau current
J usile* I* blind-and so 1* fame.
■ect. th* Its* could be depended upon to carry It Judging by some of th* selections *Lo 'bat a person really ought to baudl*
Tbe mor* credi i
them with a pair of tonga
across the 1*»' ifie and deposit It on the makes.
i , ou