Eugene Weekly Guard. ♦ iVSI BXI.I. »KO»., 1-roprlMor». EUGENE . OREGON, •--------------- A man who would try to stab a ghost would stick at nothing Happiness, like the raintiow. I» bard to locate after It on« e gets away. Man Is a two legged animal who tries to work all the other animals for a liv­ ing. Aunt Carrie lias got tier divorce anil was also awarded the custody of the feather bed. JustIce Is again aei-elerated by a <11- vorce granted to a man because bls w Ife has cold f«s-t. When three women sit down to talk about a new dress pattern a small boy with a toy drum is Inaudible. Tbe Russian nihilist» are continuing their policy of masterly Inactivity. Tbe Czar use» cigarettes to excess. An American dentist has been fixing the sultan’s teeth. The United States government may have to collect the bllL A purchase of real estate In Paris for a Yank«»- skyscraper has alarmed Frenchmen who revere tbe Eiffel Tower. King Edward's coronation rites will last four hours, during which time lie will is* compelled to abstain absolutely from smoking. There are several sovereigns over here who are anxious to get a good swift kick at Prince Henry, who has been abusing Wilhelmina on Pitcairn Island In the South Pa­ cific Ocean, mall Is delivered only once a year. That must be a pleasant place for the man whose bills couie by the post. Klug Chulalunkoru of Slam Is prepar Ing to attend the St. Louis Exposition. It is but fair to the king to say that bls headquarters will not Ixt on th«- Mid •»■y- When a man has to ask bls wife I for tlie price of a haircut, the spiritual I af Unity Is due for a Jar. We are not •ar i ­ prised, therefore, to learn that Henry and Wilhelmina of Holland are out. That man who was »upposeil to be dead showed jxxir taste In returning just as his wife was starting ou a wed­ ding trip with another man. lie might at least have permitted them to enjoy a pleasant honeymoon. A Philadelphia bank teller lia» been stricken with smallpox becaime be han- died germ iufected currency, Tbl» la unpleasaut news, but it will hardly abate the fondn<-M of men, women and children. In Philadelphia and else where, to handle money, even if it la not fresh from the mint or tlie bureau of engraving and printing. In danger. No lietter device than the ear-plerring Whistle baa been dlarover* ed. In the early day» of Amerh-au rail­ roading the signa at road cro-ainga read “look out for tbe locomotive w ben the Indi rlngH.” It wan mood discovered that the rattling of wheel« often kept a driver from hearing tbe »oft sound of a t>eli, an«l the whistle, whose »brill sound |»h r<»“M through everything, was »ubstituteij for It It will be an ea«y matter for American locomotive build era to put on the engines wbh h they «end abroad the toy whistles to which foreigners are accu«tomef h-tting <>ut g murmurs as tare gu built mgiue, when they wish to attract aitent It la not strange that therv soch a dlff« retw-e In whistl United litatro Innumerable roads . r-'»« th« railway, at gra.le Meu ai.,1 live ,t«* k tre«t«a»» on the lra< as. while they do n«-t abroad It is uecea- nary to have some devt<-e to warn hu man be « « - st ttnj are WHEN A REASONABLY COMFORT­ ABLE HOME IS ASSURED. right one. a condition »tyled left-hand- edness. In close connection thereto Is the habit of most left-handed persons to sleep on tbe left side In the uncon­ scious endeavor to relieve the right half of their brain, which Is more charged wltb bl«xxl during tbe day. For right-handed persons tbe position on the right side is the normal one for tbe same reason. Why should lovers defer their mar­ riage a day longer thau the time when, as far as we mortals can discern the future, the prospect of a comfortable home Is reasonably assured? asks Cy­ rus C. Adams in Amslee's. It Is sense- A young woman lingered In a store leas to wait for tbe coming of affluent elevator the other day after It bad dis- days. Their lives shouhl be united, gorged the crowd. "Seventeen is the ami each In bls way should help to limit.” she »aid to elevator man; “you bring about the advent of easier times took In more than twenty.” "You have If they are ever to come, It is as fool­ collected six fares without ringing up ish to wait for a larger income than is one,” said a la«ly to a street car conduc­ r«-iUly required as it Is for parent» to tor. "1 am responsible for two; please slave and drudge that their children ring them up.” "I do not care to discuss may enjoy a degree of affluence they the matter here." said a full college girl have never known, This 1» the rock to a ha« kman "I will ¡«ay you wlfat you upon wb'cb the French nation has ask, take your number, and make In­ split They are a frugal and a thrifty vestigation later." "Walters six ami people. It Is interesting to know that eleven," r«-|M»rted a woman to a h«»tel many of the tasteful, artistic and cost­ clerk, “fall to serve me civ ly products of France are made almost do not fee them.” These exclusively for tbe foreign trade. Two- plaints, all overheard In on« thirds of tbe best chinaware of Limo­ to contlrm the rumor that ges, for example comes to the United g«s«d naturisl Indifference Is waking up. States. A well-to-do Frenchwoman Is The severe morality of modern times likely to use a preparation of rice flour threatens the supremacy of one whose as a cosmetic, leaving the delicate per­ gray hairs alone ought to protect him — fumes and other toilet articles of Paris no less a peraonuge than that archgiver. for her American nnd British »Inters Santa Claus. It has been de« hied by wlio are willing to spend more money many w ise mothers that tills Christmas for such things. But the rich father, fiction gives children their find knowl­ unfortunately conceives it to be bis edge of hypocrisy and deceit, and that duty to leave bis children richer than there Is an unbecoming skepticism himself: If on the other hand, be be a alsiut the young man of seven or eight lHM«r tiller of the soil, It Is disgraceful who lias outlived tile Kt. Nicholas delu not to educate ills son to a trade or a slon and a certain air of contemptuous ■ profession so that the family name pity towards other victims of this de- may have a higher place in tbe social celt, Moreover, they declare that it Is scale. This deplorable ambition fixes demoralizing to make an Idol of one upon tbe family a burden almost too whose only virtue Is a reckless habit great to I m - borne, and parents deliber- ■ *f gift giving »ml alsiut whone other ately restrict the number of their cbll- habits little is known. Yet on tbe oth­ I dren. In large districts, particularly In er hand It has never tieen proved that Northern France, families of more those who have been thus amiably de­ than two children are rare, Many of luded were any tbe worse for the decep­ (he young ;x*ople, seeing the hard lives tion In after life, and. In fact, many their parents lead, defer tlieir own who have outllM-d all delusions love to marriages in order to Ix-tter their for ling to themselves the memory of their tunes, thl at last even the desire to faith In thia giver of gtssl gifts, (if marry s extinguished. Parents and course the saint himself has felt hla children of all latnls may well heed the power weakening In late years ami be lesson In sociology that France is now­ tins lived to see automobiles preferred teaching Nearly all our self made men. lead­ to reindeer as a means of locomotion and to have bls travels through chim­ ers in the professions and In business, neys marred tiy the odors from gas married young and on very tiKMlerate logs, yet he has |H-rsisted In bis Ix-nevo- Income«. Many assumed. without the lent habits In spite of these draw backs, slightest tri-piilatlon. the resjMinsihllity and It seems a pity to add anything of supporting a wife Oil $1,(MM) a year more to Ills pack of miseries. Parents or less. These men usually have very will decide for themselves In this mat­ pronounced views on the Inadequate er, hut at present It looks as If, ou the knowledge of the value of money and coming nights liefore Christmas, w hen how to take care of It possessed by the "mamma In her 'kerchief and 1 In my majority of young men and women. cap” settle down for a long winter's The views of these young persons as nap. the worthy pair will not I m - dis to tbe amount of Income upon which turlied by the clatter of Santa Claus' they may prudently marry vary, of approach. course, according to the circumstances In which they have lived. Many an H4NII (»111)1 I OK PIAhOS. intelligent girl who works In New Y’ork kitchens Ims no doubt whatever One of tbe chief dlfficultl«'» to lx* over- that she and the steaily. Industrious <»>me In mastering the piano Is the ten­ ’ellow sue intends to marry will have dency of the hands to assume an Incor­ a comfortable home on $12 to $14 a rect position, the desire to drop the week. A penniless German school wrists seeming to be a fault wltb all teacher who came to Philadelphia pupils. U llllaui Itobrer. of Montreal. w ben a young man and who in Ills old Que, believes that his hand guide- age Ilves in New York on the rentals shown herewith will aid greatly In >f apartment houses bought with $::n a small income. The 1 »epart luent of tgi lculture urges strongly ibe Introduction of a new in­ dustry, the cultivation of flowers ¡«ir tleularly rosea for p« rfume making It Is believed that tn California tbe oil. or attar, of roses can l>e distilled on a •cale so extensive that American per­ fumers may ultimately become Indo pendent of foreign producers of attar In any event the Industry, which la pe cullarly adapted to the tast<-a of worn incut, the screws which secure tbe two en. will I m - a new and large source of supports tx-lng inserted underneath the domestic income. keyt»»ard. The guides can lx- raised or Tbou!uin drooping of the wrists. This In­ Perhapa It ahould be reminded that act creased pressure thus serves as a brake em*e can deal wltb thing» aa they ought to l»e, wherviiN legislator» must moxe to prevent movement of the carriages «lowly bevauae of the Intervata, baldta as soon as the han,Is drop to au Im proper position and also removes the and prvjudkea of people a» they are. tendency of th«' pupil to depend too much on the gnld«*s as a means of real Can you tell by tbe n «liner tn which Ing lie arms when tired. rnluwater eats its way down a hillside whether the soil was originally cov YOUNGEST IS NINETY-ONE. ered with forest? If tlx- tra«t of land was on-e wooded, can you by the same sign tell about bow long It has been clearvd? Such observations are full of Interest. The rams make rapid work lu eroding uewly « Icarvd aud uewly till«-«! land and hillsides, but the prairie ba» reached a »tale of comparative «xpiUlb rtu tn. Science' A»*.. vention Tyndall says 50.000 typhus germs will thrive In tbe small circumference t t a pinbead or visible globule. The most wonderful astronomical photograph In tbe world Is that which has recently been prepared by Loudon, Berlin and Parisian astronomers. It shows at least 68.000,000 stars. Plants with white blossoms have a larger proportion of fragrant species than any others; next comeg red, then yellow and blue, after which, and In the same order, may be reckoned vio­ let. green, orange, brown and black. Dr. O. I. Johnson, whose studies of I the eyes of mammals have recently , been published in tbe Philosophical I Transactions, calls attention to tbe fact tliut men aud monkeys alone possess - parallel and convergent vision of the 1 two eyes. Ou the other band, tbe low- ; er mammals possess divergent and con­ sequently very widely extended vision. Squirrels, for instance, and probably bares aud rabbits as well, are able to see an enemy approaching directly from behind without turning the bead. Tbe Rev. John M. Bacon, tbe Eng­ lish balloon expert. Insists that light­ houses should have warning bells un­ der as well as above water, because in a storm sound travels farther under water than through the air. aud exper­ iments l>oth In Englaml and America have proved that a bell struck under water can be heard at a long distance In tbe hold of a ship. Mr. Bacou is ex­ ploring the air over London with bal­ loons, and be bas made some Interest­ ing observations on tbe best methods of signaling by sound. By applying a parabolic reflector to a speaking-trum­ pet be is able to send tbe waves of sound In a straight, compact beam, re­ sembling in Its directness a ray of light. It Is reported that an attempt Is al«out to be made by the aid of Dr. Isaac Rolx-rts' celebrated photographs to de­ termine whether internal movements occur in the spiral nebulae. Miss Ikir- otboa Kltimpke, of the Paris observa­ tory. will conduct the examination of tbe photographs, her exix-rience in the measurement of the plates for the In­ ternational photographic chart of tbe heavens having given her special fitness for the work. Some of Dr. Roberts' photographs were made 10 or 12 years ago. ami by comparing these with la­ ter picture» of the same objects. It Is hoped that any changes that have oc­ curred In the shapes of tbe nebulae may I m - detected. The discovery of such changes would |x»ssess great in­ terest aud importance for astronomers. The astronomical instruments that were seized and carried away by tbe Germans after the capture of Pekin by the allied Euriqx-an. Japanese and American forces ranked as great scl­ ent itle curiosities. There were two sets of them, placed on and at tbe foot of the wall of tbe Tartar City. One set. of Chinese manufacture, consisted of old armlllary spheres, and other out- of «late Instruments, of great size and strangely mounted on bronze dragons. Tbe other set comprised a large azi­ muth. and other similar instruments, together with a celestial globe of bronze covered with stars of gold. These last wen- made under the direction of the Dutch Jesuit VerblesL "ho was offi­ cial astouomer for the Chinese empe­ LEFT AND RIGHT HANDEDNESS. ror in th«- seventeenth century. Some of the Instruments w ere presents from Explained bjr Anatomical Reaaona for Louis XIV. Same Vitality in Eye,. It la a well known fact that the Stronger activity of tbe nerves of the right half of the body (for not only the hand Is concerned) must be ascribed to a preponderance of the left side of th«' brain, w hose finer development, es- peeially a.s the »«'at of tbe center of sixxvh. Is a matter of common kuowl- e Ige, says the London Optician. In a paper by Dr. Luddeckcus In the Alleuielnes Journal dcr Uhrtnacher- kunst valuable information regarding the caOMO of the uu« S|x'«-ulate. Stories of tbe successful speculation of waiters lu popular resorts on "tips" received from the patrons are often true; but there is the other side—that of looses. Said Philippe at Deltnouico'a: "If one of our waiters constantly speculates on 'tips' loss and failure are certaiu to come sooner or later. As tn the case of Beau Brummel's neckties, one never hears of tbe unsuccessful, aiul their losses. It generally happens that a waiter Is successful at first. If be puts the money be makes into real estate he prospers; but let him continue to speculate and be generally loses bls all. I have had some gtxxl winnings, but prefer Investment in real estate. "Stock speculation really distracts a waiter.” continued the Philippe, ac­ cording to tbe New York Times, "and he cannot properly attend to business As soon as we find a waiter getting too engrossed In speculation we discharge him. as be cannot keep away from the tl ter, and confuses his orders. One poor fellow nearly w ent crazy here last w nter In «ronsequence of hla stock spec illations. He wonld forget his orders and « all foe 'one Westeni Union.' when he should have said 'one steak umler- 'l--rie. and so on. until we had to dis charge him 1 do not know w hat bas of him. but expect to bear b< dev! in tbe insane asylum.” sheer Xenwiw. Queer tbtng about that tall til bls inti e frieodf « *• tall. use that’s bis ua ,i Press. rbe t A blessing In • I ■ • • here. In the path of my duty. poparts to the left »Ide of BEST TIME TO MARRY.’ sequence, the body tbe preponderance over the y O Tbe Doctor's *f)ileraraa By Hesba Stretton < !♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦»♦♦»♦♦♦♦<< » I ♦♦♦♦ I M I»!» »♦♦♦♦ CHAPTER XXVIII. I do not know why teiror always strikes me dumb and motionless. 1 did not stir or speak, but looked steadily, with a fascinated gaze, into my husband's face —a worn, white, emaciated fa«v. with eyes peering cruelly into mine. It was an awful look; one of dark triumph, of sneering, cunning exultation. Neither of us spoke. He sank down on the seat beside me, with an air of exhaustion, yet with a low. fiendish laugh which sounded hide­ ously loud in my ears. His fingers were still about my arm. but he had to wait to recover from the first shock of his suc­ cess—for it had been a shock. His face was bathed with [«erspiration. ami his breath came and went fitfully. I thought I could even hear tbe heavy throbbing of his heart. "I've found you," he said, bis han«l tightening its hold—and at the first s.iund of his voice the spell which bound me snapped—"I've tracked you out at last to this cursed hole. The game is up, my little lady. By heaven! you'll repent of this. Y’ou are mine, and uo man shall come between us.” “I «len t understand you.” I muttered He had spoken in an undertone, ami 1 could not raise m.v voice above a whis­ per, so parched ami dry was my throat. "Understand!" he said, with a shrug of his shoulders. "I know all about Dr. Martin Dobree. You understand that well enough. I am here to take charge of you, to carry you borne with me as my wife, an«l neither man nor woman can interfere with me in that. It will be best for you to come with me quietly.” "I will not go with you,” I answered, in the same hoarse whisper; "I am liv- me, and I ran to him, caught it in both of mine, bent down my face upon it. and burst into a passion of weeping, in spite of myself. "Come, come, madame!” he said, his own voice faltering a little; "I am here, my child; behold me! There is no place for fear now; I am king in X ille-en-bois. Is it not so. my good Jean?” "Monsieur le Cure, you are emperor,” replied Jean. "If that is the case,” h- «.-ontinued, "madame is perfectly secure in my castle. You do not ask me what brings me back again so soon. But I will tell you, mad- ame. At Noireau. the proprietor of the omnibus to Granville told tue that an Englishman had gone that morning to visit my little parish. Good! We do n««t have that honor every day. I ask him to hare the goodness to tell me the English­ man's name. It is written in tbe book at the bureau. Monsieur Fostere. I re- member that name well, very well, That is the name of the husband of my little English daughter. Fostere! I see in a moment it w ill not do to proceed on my voyage." The cure's return, and his presence un­ der the same roof, gave me a sense of security. When the chirping of the birds awoke me in the morning. I could not at first believe that the events of the day Ix-fore were not themselves a dream. Matins were ended, and the villagers were scattering about their farms awl households, when 1 noticed Pierre loiter­ ing stealthily about the presbytery, as if anxious not to lx- seen. He made me a sign to follow him out of sight, round the corner of the church. "I know a secret, madame,” he said, in a troubled tone, "that monsieur who came Go, J fulfill yours.” 1 Fur three day», morning after niorEil whilst the dew lay still upon the ,--«1 I went down, with a heavy and fore:J ing heart, to the place where 1 <»>] watch the cottage, through the long J try hours of the summer day. Here in the open sunshine, with t hot walla of the mill casting its r» back again, the beat was intense; ttmu the white cap I wore protected m.v he from it. my eyes were dazzled, and 1 fl ready to faint. No wonder if M« ns . I.aurentie should have sunk under it. a: the long Strain u|«on his energies, wbi would have overtaxed a younger ai stronger man. 1 lia«i passed the invi ble line which his will ha«l drawn ai.-. the place, and ba«l half crossed the com when I heanl footsteps dose behind n and a large, brown, rough band sudden caught mine. “Mani'xelle!” cried a voice I knew. • this vou?” "Oh, Tardif! Tardif!” I exelaime«i. rested my beating head against him. ai sobbed violently, whilst be surround« me with his strong arm, and laid h ban«! upon my head, as if to assure me« his help and protection. “Hush, bush! mam’zelle," he said, is Tardif, your friend, my little man zelle; your servant, you know. I w h.-re. What shall I do for you? Is tL.-i auy person in yonder house who fngk ens you, my poor little mam'zelle? 1« me wba$ to do.” He had drawn me back into the gr«s shade of the trees, and placed me up« the felled tree where 1 had been sittit before. I told him all quickly, briefly, all that hail happened since I had writtt to him. I saw tbe tears start to h eyes. "Thank God I am here,” he said. ' lost no time, mam'zelle, after your l«-tt reached me. 1 will save Monsieur Cure: I will save them both, if 1 <-« He is a good man. this cure, ami t must not let him perish. He has no u thority over me, and 1 will go this al ment and force my way in. if the dj is fastened. Adieu, my dear little m.«J zelle.” i He was gone before I could speak I word, striding with quick, energetic trej across the court. Tbe closeil door tindl the eaves opened readily. In au in- J the white head of Monsieur l.aurena passed the casement, and I could hew the hum of an earnest altercation. J though I couhl not catch a syllable of 1 But presently Tardif appeared aga n 1 the doorway, waving his cap in token J having gained his point. I It seemed to me almost as if time ba been standing still since that first morl ing when Monsieur I.aurentie ha. with some force which »hould drag me i •w-gy from my refuge »nd give m» him ? I heard harried foo anil joyoua voice*. A mm’ite or ti ima beat against my bamcad.nl door. an 1 shouted gleefully through the key hole. “Cone down. Aunt Nelly." she «•ri«'d. -M mtieur Laurone is «ome h.-me ago inf* Mt if ».'me «tronc h»n.| had lifted -Hit of a whirl ef troubled waters and me aafely upon a rock I ria dowa » the salon where M.n.ictir I .a iron was •»«te-1. as tranqni.ly as if he I aever been away, m his hi*h hacked 4 1-tiy at Minima's Jraa Stoel just Witb- »•1« bet.«ad I, s k. yesterday has not left the valley, lowed monsieur your enemy. He did not go far away.” "But where is he then?” I asked, look­ ing down the street, with a thrill of fear. "Madame,” whispered Pierre, "he is a stranger to this place, and the people would not receive him into their bouses —not one of them. My father only said. 'He is an enemy to our dear English madame,' ami all the women turned the back upon him. I stole after him. be­ b ill the trees an«l tbe hedges, lle marched very slowly, like a man very weary, . till be came in sight of the fac­ tory of the late Pineaux. ile turned aside iuto the court ther«>. 1 saw- him knock at the door of the house, try to lift the latch, ami peep through the windows. After that he g«>es into tbe factory; th.-re is a door from it into the house. He passed through. I dared not follow him. but in one short half-hour I saw smoke coining out of the chimney. The smoke is there. The Englishman has sojourn- e.l there all the nigbt.” "But. Pierre." I said, shivering, though the sun was already shining hotly— “Pierre, th,- h.«use is like a mzar.-tto. No °ne hu» ...... in it sin.-e Mademoiselle Pi- neau died. Monsieur le Cure lo«ked it up. an.I brought away the key." "That is true, madame," answer«,1 the boy; "no one in tbe village wonld go near the accurs.'d place, but I never thought of that. Perhaps monsieur your enemy will take the fever and perish.” "Run. Pierre, run!" I cried; "Monsieur I.aurentie is in th«1 sacristy with the strange vicaire. Tell him I must speak to him this very moment. There is no time to lx? lost!" 1 dragged myself to the scat under the sycamore tree, an 1 hi«! my face in my hands, while shudder after shudder quiv- ere«l through me. I seemed to lx- watch­ ing him again, as he strode weariedly down the »tr«» t. leaning with bent shoul­ ders on his stick, and turned away from every door at which he asked for rest and Shelter for the night. Oh! that the time couhl but come back again, that I ni ght send Jean to find some safe place for him where he could sleep! Ba«*k to my memory rushed the ol.l «lavs, when he s, r«em'«l me from the tinkinlness of mt stepmother, and when he s«*emed to love me. For the sake of those times, would to heiv.-n the evening that was gone, and the sultry, breathless night, could ouljr come back »Kain! 1 fe t as if I bad passed through an immeasurable spell, both of memory and anguish, before Monsieur I.aurentie cam... though h.- had respoaded to mv summon, immediately. I then told him in hurried, broken »eaten, es. what Pierre ha«l confess.»! to nie. His face grow overoast an I troubled, and he at once tartcl for the factory. He returned af ter s >nc. loDsc »UNpenNp. "My « child, he said, **VkM>»ieur is attacked. I. I . am .«ram, tiy the fever afraid, by feve- I •ha.I w>th him all this th;« dsv tisll r.-m.Gn remain with day. ! You must bring aa what we have u«ed of. »ml Wave it on the stone there. it UB oil; Spinoza, the philosopher, n>«ud< spectacles. Linnaeus was a cobbler l well as a botanist. Shakspeare priA himself more upon bls suivess as stage manager than as a dratnatb Spenser was a sheriff. It might requi: ■ J ■ I ■ tlon to Imagine sheriffs of to-day wr!® Ing anothi'r "Faerie Queen"—but tvb.t^H Milton taught school, as have altno"t great men. XX’nlter Scott the w!za: tbe North, was circuit clerk aud I'ttrtH tical man of affairs; Grote was a don banker. Ricardo a stock J«-bb- - it® - - mint. Paul was a tent maker an I ti Great Gentleman an apprentice at carpenter's bench. I praet:«'e law simply to support x »elf. sai«l one of the greates' of : Ixiul» attorneys—an attorneys not an attorney at politi« »—"but real life Is at borne in my library Thoroughly practical people nee«l tl help of hobbles to keep them fro shriveling up-St. Ix>uis Glol-e-Ivo» «•rat. High-Priced Book. The biggest price ever paid for a b* was $44 5<»>. given for an original < of the Psalterium, published by Fl in 1459. It was bought by Ben Quaritcb. Tasmania'» Mineral Wealth- rasm.-inla. tn proportion to Its «I is tbe richest in Australasia'» col i In ornerai wealth. Some women are so humble that tM think every woman who bas tad m-.ney than they have, g-d look t »