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About The Eugene weekly guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1899-1904 | View Entire Issue (May 25, 1901)
GOOD - I »® laci 1» -orvous, there i« not a well Xie toudj 1 “ weM1‘ :.h sad hav« iadige«ti..n kornVy- Thi» heads, he 1 *“ Xrlv dill» ■« »B<1 >«»- -abrt’tae.rlv “ad hysterica; there «r"’’ u. ,n'the lo*er Par* ot mv u • rising down «H “>e time, aad *’’rf * rroins »nd thighs : I can- P“*’ wild >>r »•»• aad 1 b''lie’e 1 •'‘ leased »U over; no one ever »»®rrrd Yd.c riptio“ of thousands of ^w’hieh “»»« to Mrs- Pinkham's ¡SULry^^ A“1“®““*4“4 XU. JOUS WlUJAM». lss-ated condition of the neck of the Xbean prod i-e ail of these symp- * “ an.l no woman should ahnw ¿Xlt to reach such a perfection of wltea there is absolutely no ’ , ;t The subject of our por- LJu -n this sketch. Mrs. Williams of tMlUhtuwn. N.J.. has been entirely “'.d of such illness and misery by Lydia E. I' ultliam's Vegetable Com- other medicine has such a record torabwl'tte cures, aud no other medi- •toe is just “s good." Women who wut a cure should insist upon getting Lvdis E- Pinkham's Vegetable Com- ^nad when thev ask for It at a store. Ditappotntrd in the Alp». Fair Mountnin Climber—These are the very sume , icture postili cards we aw down in the village. There rcal- |v was no need of our coming up here. Mothers will find Mr«. Winslow’» Sooth- ing Svrup the best remedy to use lor their Children during the teething jieriod. The Man's Way. When a man finds a woman for «boni he thinks there's nothing good enough he asks her to take him. A folding p-K-ket camera,making 3 l2 j3's pictures, for fl 1.25. No experi ence required to make perfect pictures. Film til) cents. Send for full descrip tion. Kirk, Geary & Co., 330 Sutter it., S. F. Striking Home. "If you have a prosperous debtor who wouldn't pay you a cent. what toould you do to get even with him?'' "I'd kidnap his cook.’’ Vour Guide and Guard ¡Ii the fanions Oregon Blood Purifier, ¡tilted and true. Vse it now. Very Amusing. Wife—What's funny in that letter fun are reading? He Husband—It's from Boston. i-io if I don't want to pay that $10 I we hint. TO Cl'KF. A COLD IN ONE DAY Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All iMfisu ref’irtd the money if it fail« to cure. L "> Grove’s signature is on each box. 2’c. She Had Told the Truth. Sue—You said your were going to narry an artist, and now you’re en- [ag'-d to a dent ist, Flo—Well, isn't he an artist? Iraws from real life ! IT» P-r«i,nrntly Curril. No tit. .r rierrou.neiw ■ IV »her first-lav’s usFof T)r Khat»’»Great Nerve MUr-T Rpndfor Fit EE $2.00 ti la! I m .?tie anti treat- • D».R. H K linx . LttL.Wi AichSt., Philadelphia.?»». The Impolite Man. "My face is mv fortune, sir,’ laid. riuit s very plain," said he. she Th« Rest Prescription for Mntarta l'v’er 16 » h«ttleof Grove's Tustele.s ’■‘“1,on*c- Ills simply Iron «nd quinine In liaiteien iorm. No - ure. No Pay. Price 50c In Eden. Eve—Just think, 1'11 lie two week« •id tomorrow! Adam—Well, my dear, you don’t oolt it. CASTOR IA For Infants and Children. Ito Kind You Have Always Bought of I Short Storie$ According to Life, a Southern dark. ), wishing the Inhabitants of the village to know that he aud his venerable part ner had decided to retire from active life, astonished them one u...ruing by placing the following «!gn alaive ti.e door of the establishment: “Dis am to lufohrn de public dat me an’ Ike am goln out of bls'uess. Dem dat owes de firm may settle with me; dem dat de Arm owes may settle with Ike.” Dr. Boyd Carpenter, the Bishop or ltipou, huglaud, was called upou to lay the corner stone of a new vicarage at Wakefield some mouths ago. aud wa» invited by the master of ceremonies (Who handed him the trowel aud the line and plummet) to "become an opera five mason for a few moments.” "1 cannot,” answered the bishop, “lay claim to the title of an operative ma son, but 1 am certainly a working Car penter.” • In lit» autobiography, “l’p from “Slavery.” Booker T. Washington tell« an amuaing anodote of an old colored man. who, during the days of slavery. wante-1 to learn how to play on the guitar. In his desire to take guitar les son». he applied to one of Ills young masters to teach him; but the young man. not having much faith In the abil ity of the slave to masrer the guitar at his age, sought to discourage him by telling him: “t'ncle Jake. I will give you guitar lessons; but. Jake. I will have to charge you three dollars for the first lessou. two dollars for the second lesson ami otic dollar for the third les son. But I will charge you only twenty- five cents for the last lesson.” Uncle Jake answered: "All right, boss, I hires you ou tieni terms. Rut, boss! 1 wants yer to be sure an' give me dat las’ les son first.” Some time ago a well-known San Francisco attorney, who prides hlniselt upon his handling of Chinese w itnesses, was defending a railway damage ease. Instead of following the usual ques- tlous as to nauie, residence. If the na- ture of an oath were understood, etc.. he began: “What your name':” "Kee Lung. “You live San Francisco?" “Yes.” "You You sabhie sabbie God God?” “Mr. Attor ney, If you mean 'Do I understand the eutity of our Creator?’ I will simply say that Thursday evening next I shall address the State Ministerial Assoeia tion on the subject of the 'Divinity of Christ,' ami shall be pleased to have you attend." Needless to say, a general roar of laughter swept over the court room at this clever sally, and it was some minutes, much to the discomfiture of the lawyer for the defense, before order was restored and the examination proceeded upon ordinary lines. While talking of the many notable people be has met during his pugilistic career, John I.. Sullivan said the other day in New York: "Once when 1 was in Sydney, New South Wales, I had a suite of rooms directly over Sarah Bernhardt. 1 never met the lady, and I didn't much care. She was Jabbering French all the time, and was rehearsing constantly In her room. I heard so much of it that I pretty near had the willies. One night 1 happened to follow Sarah into Her Majesty's Theater in Sydney, anil I had a good chance to size her up. She was a feather-weight, all right, anti there was so much powder on her face that I thought slic'd made a mistake! She got a look at me. and. because I had been so much annoyed with her Jabbering, I scowled at her gave ber the look that used to scare the bubs who tried to stay four rounds with me. Well, sir, Sarah gave one long, niourful howl ami fainted away. After that she didn't jabber any more, for she'd found out who was living up stairs.” y*>en the muscles teel drawn and . ' >P «nd the flesh tender, that ten.ton la st Jacobs Oil 4«. 71 - l»Ui price is A long-distance telephone played a >u must part in tile romance of Virginia Gilbert and Hurry Wylie, who have been mar rletl in Clayton. Mo. The young woman m. w as undecided and Harry left for Tex a a. but on the way calks! bls former tiancee to the long distance 'phone. Estimates for Artic Expiditon. "I’m going far away. Virgie, and yon 1 aptain Bernier estimates the cost will never see me again unless you say . ......... — ......... of his pro|i<>«vd Arctic ex|wdition at you will marry me in the morning.” »1.MI.000. He has applied to the "Come tuiek." said the girl. ‘I do love nailian government for a grant you. and am glad you called me up." has also opened subscript ion principal Canadian eitn - Apt Illustration. leat her—Gf course you understand the difference between liking and lov ing? Pupil—Yes. miss: I like my father and mother, but 1 love apple pie. Kahlblta at Buffalo. There will lie exhibit« from all over the world at the Buffalo Exposition, w liich » ill prove verv interesting to a l who may a* tend, blit no more »<> than the news that thefamou- remedy. Hostetter'« Momacli Bitters, will mire dyspepsia, indigestion. Consti pat ¡ >11. biliousne«« and nervouane»« Io at sufferers from the above complaints a trial i« recommended with the a»Miram e that w hen houestlv affected. It also' tern. WEARY WOMEN Machinery, Implements, Farm Supplies, Etc. Throughout the land Many Are Slaving Over the Needle and Wearing Them selves Out. 1 - — : ' ' s - TWO MEETINGS WITH GARFIELD. Clara Morri. Relate, an Incident that Occurred at a Waahineton Dinner. It In the Woman’s Home Companion Clara Morris has a clever article lu which she describes two meetings with James A. Garfield. The first was hi a country lane near Aurora, where she saw and talked with the future states man, who was then taking a load of wood to market. Year» afterward she met him In Washington, and remem bered him; but while feeling that he had seen her before ho could not recall where. Of that second meeting »he say»: "Then there camo an evening when, at a dinner given by Mrs. Piatt. I found myself sitting exactly opposite Mr. Garfield. The company w as not a large one, hut it boasted some famous names and nt least one brilliant beauty. Con versatlon was brilliant and laughter was light. Turning my glance a mo ment from the Southern Senator nt my side. 1 looked full Into the fixed, wide blue eyes of Mr. Garfield. He wns lean ing forward; one hand tightly clenched lay on the table. From his strained, far away look I knew he was trying to recall our first meeting, and as 1 gazed Into his eyes the buzz of talk and laughter turned into a murmur of wind through tall, leafless trees, I saw tt pale winter sunshine falling acrons «now-patched fields. Leaning a little toward him. In n very low but distinct tone 1 said. ’Gee! Gee-linw!’ A flush like blue lightning snapped Into Ills eves, mid in I added. 'Is Freeman lit home?’ he gave a cry. almost a about, exclaiming with enthusiasm. 'I've found you! I've found you at last, and you're sitting on top of the fence In a red calico dress, with a book In your lap!' Then In the midst of the commo lion be had rnlseil he threw his arm about Mr. I’latt, crying, 'Ah. you thought I was meet for an asylum, von know yon did! But I’ve found her out at last, so you see I'm not half as crazy as you believed I was!' "Questions mined upon him, and milch laughter followed his story of that faraway meeting on the country road; one grave old man questioned us earnestly in the drawing room as to what was In the minds of each nt the time I spoke. "I was not mm h surprised to hear Mr Garfield «ay that In Ills backward search for n clue fo the tormenting hnlf memory he had got a» far as Cleveland, had failed to find me In that city, and at the moment 1 spoke was hopelessly trying Aurora and the conn try around there.” Overheard in a Scotch Hotel. Traveler (seating himself at the breakfast table)—Well, waiter, what's for breakfast? Wn iter (cheerfully)—Calves' brains sir, fried liver, deviled kidneys— Traveler—Oh. hang your com- plaints! Give me the menu' Q/tEGüNßLOQypUfi!H£/9 A Play on Word». Tess—I sec a notice in the paper of the wedding of Mr.«. Nubride. Je«i---- Yes. | know her very well, "Do you? What was her maiden name?’’ "1 suppose her maiden aim was to get married.” YOU KNOW wn AT VOL AKK TAKING When Vi'i1. take Grove's Tasteless ( hill Tonic, because the formula is plainly printed on every bottle showing that it is simply Iron and Qui« nine in a tasielejs form. No Cure, N> Fay. 5o< Were Not Efficacious. Mamma—Now say vour prayers. Tommy—No; I don't b'licvc it does any good. .Mamma—W bat ’’ Tommy—No; I'm jes’ giftin' dis gusted I bin prayin'all this time to make little brother Jack a good Isiy, and he's just as had and selfish as ever. Mitchell Bicycles ADVANCE THRESHER CO Factory, Battle Creek, Michigan. tht l/tio»* Fu’-mer. There are many women all over the I. and who are earning a living by use of the needle Confinement dose rooms and the trying nature their work often causes them to grow l>ale and wan and tu experience a feel ing of constant weariness. This goes on. sometime«, until nature rebel« and $25 • $30 • $35 • $40 health breaks down There is one way and only one way to restore the OXFORD, DEFENDER W« prest nt «bove < cut o! thè laie»t aud tmpared vitality, and that is to popu.si Irsi tiuti Knsii • bulli. and DUNLOP TIRES uie»t V\ e bave just «•« eivrd a t ti* line of Admicc strengthen tlie worn out nérvea and Fugiurs an<i Ssparator» ut dlfferent atvlesand build up and nouri-h the ini,H>veri»li- Piinlap ».eel Kiai* Kull Lille of Suudrl«» «ì . »•- *nd iuv it« our friend» lo « all and tiKpecr Agent» Wanted Send lor Catalu<ue. «.- in- «>r w rttv u* tur 1« » ripf i ve catalogne and ed l>h«xl. If the bliss! is kept healthy cirv ulani. and rich and the nerves strong, new life and energy will Boon l>e f«-lt This w.i» the experience of Mr« Addn PORTLAND. UK. R Holt, a dressmaker, of No 73 First and Taylor Sts. Bridge street. Augusta. Me. She says: MILWAUKEE MOWER "About live years ago I l>egan to CHAIN DRIVE. LIGHT DRAFT. rhe best hope of competition 1« to make experience a worn out feeling, Sonic- RASY FOOT LIFT. into1 hi tics • just as good as McUoriuick. times 1 would lie in Isai for a day or so, but my dressmaking work obliged Lift) out of ev, ry hundred tnvwora sold around the world b« ar the name McCormick. me to keep up. even when 1 did not feel able to be almut. 1 suffered from female troubles and last spring I hail rheumatism in my left arm and also a pain in my left «ide in the region of mv heart "In August a friend recommended Dr. Williams' I’ink Bills for Bale Beo- pie and I l«>gan taking them imme diately. I commenced to improve in al>out two weeks and ill thr<>e months VICTOR STEEL RAKES my weight inereasc<l from 121 to 133 \\ ith st- cl " heel*. made tor the pounds. Since taking the pills I “Wild and Woolly Weal.” have had no return of the pain in mv J. A. FREHMAN, General Agent. Call on the agent or address arm nor near my heart. Water At. PORTLAND. Ora. "1 am still taking Bink Bills for A. H. BOYLAN, Portland, Oregon Complete Stock of Bale People and I am gladly reconi - W ALTER A WOOD EXTRAS. For Catalogna and ptloaa. mending them to nil who say that anything ails them.” Signed. ADDIE R. HOLT, , » p-v » jam * lVT'T' )) ri|e perfection of Wall Planter. Saves Sulmcribed and sworn to before me you time and money. Investigate. this 4th day of February. 11*01. LAND PLASTER. Use our Land Piaster and increase vour crop». Testimc- Fremont J. C. Little, I nials, circulars ami expert information on application. Seal Notary Public. Office and Factory: Foot of Fourteenth Street. Portland. Oregon. Dr Williams' Pink Pills for Pale Agents wanted everywhere. People are sold by all dealers, or will I m > sent postpaid on repeipt of price. 60 cents a l«>x, or six boxes for $2 50 (they are never »old ill bulk or by the hundred), by addressing Dr. Wil tong Life to New One* liam.« M>-di< ine Co., Schenectady, N. Y How? by Using Our AïlCIlOr Clamps and Uprights /X I F/V1 /A 1 Al 1 NEW LIFE TO OLD FENCES! WHIT MONTH WERE YOU BORN IN? JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon Foot of Morrison Street, Can give you Rugglee. Blown. Windmills and Machinery. See the best bargain« in Boiler» and Engine«, Punì pa an i General ue before buying. I riDU *T ,,(IMK T<> CUBIC 1 Ol KMKI.F LLAnll *ND OTIIKM WITHOUT MKD- l< I \ v . Y oh cun it»r wo tell you how Sent! Htltlre«» for free in (unnation. Hpokanr Iniitltute of I*») cholugy,704 Sprague Ave , Spokane, Waah is befft time to cure Catarrh, Bronchitis »nd Conautnplion. Our remedy 1» guaranteed, fl. SUMMER W. H. SMITH I to.? BiiifilA H. T. Different H,»elllnw. WMY GET SOAKED WHtM Biro»« tsisu. You would be Rurprited It you knew how little iI would coal ) on lu tlx up that old fence. Better »end tor eotne Anchor Clamp» and Upright», and h pair of our nim her», and make your u!d win» fence look like a new oue. ANCHOR FENCE look» •<> nice and is »o strong that farmer« •ometimv» think that it must bu high priced. Il isn't, though. Cattle, Sheep and Hog Tight. FARM, RAILROAD AND LAWN FENCE Write for Trice« and Caiaioyiie. Agent« Wanted tn Every Town. In>' aitatile Ignoran* e h Madge She i» »Ingularly defi-'ient lu - ,rw,.-s the subject of history. vi MarJori e- What else could you ex T oston ,^ pect. when »be »pends all her time reading the popular historic novel» •- Judge. ’W s >.." ■ ' '■ ' Æ00T‘DOWtR When there I» no d.uger near mo HIIÍS courage is often the rankest kind « O»vrO« "*n»»*a* false pn tenser CASH BUYERS OF HIDES, PELTS AND TALLOW. Consignment« solicited. Pay highest market price. PROMPT RETURNS. Dealer» in Leather and Findings. Refer to Wells, Fargo A Co. Bank, Portland, Oregon. PREVENTED BY LATHIS ALL The Absent Friend. well Mr». Gil azlie bold« her it w I not oier 30 If »be >!.e were J>i The Portland Anchor Fence Co. 74» Nicolai St., PORTLAND, Oregon. Chas. L. Mastick & Co. 75 10c. 25c. I It Ntv«a aurs alter closing that dreadful fiend that threatens the life of rich and poor, can attack and kill only those whose bowels are not kept thoroughly cleaned out, purified and disinfected the year round. One whose liver is dead, whose bowels and stomach are full of half decayed food, whose whole body is unclean inside, is a quick and ready victim of appendicitis. If you want to be safe against the scourge, keep in good health all the time, KEEP CLEAN INSIDE! Use the only tonic laxative, that will make your bowels strong and healthy, and keep them pure and clean, pro tected against appendicitis and ALL EPIDEMIC DISEASES. It’s CAS- CARETS. that will keep and save you. Take them regularly and you will find that all diseases are absolutely A Clean City. "So you're the sheriff now, Bill?" "That's what I am." "And you're going to take me in, are you? The In-st friend you ever bad? Well. I suppose this is where friend ship cease«." "Either that or where friendship seizes.” Yonkers Statesman. clami - See Our Anchor Clamp APPENDICITIS Sydney, Australia, la said to be one of the cleanoat cities In the world, If not the cleanest. The street« are thor oughly cleaned every night and any one throwing refuse or waste material of any sort on the streets Is arrested and fined. All the kitchens In the larger residences hit on the top floor and all the clothes are dried on the roof. Ancient tjuiirrica. T hs ASCHOB Fase«. Great Cnmblnstion ntHtrengih «n i Beauty. let us know at once and on receipt of "Tua T ib T hat B inm " 35 cents yon will receive a very hand some brooch pin with birth stone set ting, all the rage NORTH PACIFIC MAILORDER DEPARTMENT, Port land, Oregon. P. O. Box 145. Ttie Dead Sea Israel. The stone for the great wall of th< dam across the Nile at Assuan Is being obtained from the qtigrries of wh, ? the Templet of Pliilne are beileved to have been built the unhappy Pliilae which, when the ilatn 1» eotnp be submerged »nd [tartly from »lltht for the first time i years of existence. The gran.I that are being quarried for t first great engineer.ng acb.eve the twentieth century, bear th of wedge* used thirty centuries TUB Ol.D F«SC« Neighborly. Husband—Isn’t it about time Mrs. Borrore was returning our call’ Wife—Yes, but if she dors return it it will lie more than she does with the other things she gets from us. A markisl rise In the level of the Head Sea has lieen noted. The ruin. El Bahr, that stood like an Island near the River Jordan Is now completely under water. A broad lagoon han formed on the north side of the Jordan delta. The water doos not sink In summer and It In surmised that the whole liottom of the Dead Sea has been raised by vol canlc action. äwind milt OILED I CLOTMiriG- WUWPiOVWY ■ MAOTWT STOPS’ ■ '.Tr.T'-'XfjL ,sa BUY THE McCORMICK MOWERS Cau»< fur Thankflue»». Tommy—What yer so sore alxnit Jimmy—Aw. it's ]s>oty tough oi feller ter have ter wear his big brud der’s pants. The romance begau in Dallas. Texas, "Go on! Yer oughter In’ glad ver big brudder ain't a sister an' wore when Miss Gilbert was still in short bloomers. ’’ dresses. Wylie fell in love with her ami proposed. The wedding day was set. but was put off from time to time by Miss Gilbert on the plea that she was too young to marry. Once the Invi This signature is on every box of the genuine tations were out. and again a postpone Laxative Bromo-Quinine T»bi«u ment occurred. This time the engage Vha remaily that rars, n cold In on« day inent was broken, and the young wom an came to St Ixiuls. Wylie followed and begged her to keep her promise Falling in this, he started back to Texas. / ////z / / ' ' Mitchell, Lewis & Staver Co., His Just Reward. “Never did have any luck,” coni- plsined Si Engrone. "I'm always left out in the Cold. ” “Never mind." replied Job Scum- fiter, "you won't be in the next Quaint Custom« in Shetland. The only part of the United Kingdom world. ” In which the old style of reckoning time Stort» tho Cough and is adhered to Is the archipelago of Shet Vtorha Off tho Cold. land, and there Sunday. Jan. 15. was laxative pr. rn.H^uinli!'- 'lab **i- cure a cold iu ane day. No cure, No Pay. Price 26 cent«. New Year’s Day. But Sunday being with the native« n Fewer Southern Tenant Farmer». strict dies non for business or for pleas The old fashioned “plantations" in ure. the next day witnessed the high the South have alaiut passed into his Jinks Incident to the occasion. These tory. The average size of farm has included processions of "gtilsers,” or liecn greatly reduced and the number mummers, and the drinking of various of farmers who own the farms they strAuge toasts, such as "Helt to man culivate has wonderfully increased. and death to da gray fish,” and the health of the twelve apostles. An Astral Skeptic. In Shetland the remnants of the old "What do you think of these jieo- Norse language linger to such a degree ple who claim to remember their pre that the dialect is almost a sealed book vious reincarnat ions? ’’ —exen to Scotsmen. The last specimen "I think they were once geese, and of the great auk whose eggs are now haven't got over it.’’ valued at something like loo guineas apiece, was done to death tlieFe. but the little auk nuk still retains retain« a precarious foot- ing on the lonely islet of Foula. Discouraging. He—It is my aim in life to do Anxious to Oblige. “Betning that will make my name Pompous Publisher ito aspiring nov- Wrnallv rr*nienil<ered. ice in literature)—I have l>een rea ding She—1.« it ■' You are a pretty poor your manuscript, my dear lady. and ^>ot. are you not? there 1» much In It. I think ahem! very good. But there are part» some •o«o«o«o«o«o*o«o«o«o«o what vague. Now you should always write so that the most Ignorant can uu derstand. Youthful Authoress (wishing to show herself most ready to accept a-lvlcei - Oh, yes. I'm sure. But. tell me. »bleb are the parts that have given you troll ble?— Punch. Tied Up A Culturtd CTtrk. W7.VS W7ff ßy LONG 'Ir«. >. h. |.|s n—\\ h.it « the prie« t k i. _ : i». « DISTANCE 'PHONE. all toawol traatolw. aj»a»n«leHI«, bit- l«u«a*M. bad braall», aa4 bloaff, wind an Iba «l<>maeh, binata« bawala, Zaal naan lb. h«adarba. Indl«aall«n. pimpla«, palma aliar «alla«, ll««r traabi«, aatlaw raaaplailan and dlulio. W h*-n yawr bawrl« don’t masa r«gn* larty yan ara gatuna «Ich. « «aatlpailan bill« mar« p«apl« »bau all aih«r dl«»a-»a tngrtbar. Il la a •tartar for lita rbrnnir alimonia and lang y«ara af •uff«rtng that rama aOarwarda. Na mattar w bat all« yam, ««art taking < »a« Altirr« tn-day, for yau will parar gat wall and ba wall all iba Him-until yan pal yawr bawala rlgltl. Taka war adalaa; atari with < ISCAMg.Tg tv-day. ondar an a bao I a la guar- I anlaa to cara or monry rataudad. K NEVER SOLD IN BULK.