The Herald
Inttml u Mtond-tlM matttr tSeplnnbar, 1WL
In thf port offlc at Monmouth, Oragva, and tht
AM of Mirth I ind
RICHARD B, SWENSON
Editor & Publisher
MONMOUTH. OREGON
1SSIT.D EVERY FRIDAY
FRIDAY, JAN. 24, 1918
Subicription Rata
On year - $1,50
Six month - 75 eta
Thrw month 60 eta
Monmouth
Meditations
The garden sass that went into
the cans last summer is coming out
again these days.
Since last summer we conserved
daylight by getting up an hour
early, during these winter storms
we might conserve the shadows by
getting up every other day.
Calendars have been circulated
this week bearing the compliments
of the business men of Monmouth.
As befitting the times the picture
on the calendar is patriotic and at
the same time is beautifully attractive.
No matter how severe the terms
which Jthe peace convention im
poses onjthem, we have an uneasy
suspicion that the Germans will
come out with the best of it. It is
impossible for mere money to make
good the damage and misery caused
by the insane Kaiser and his war
lords.
The Honorable Milton A. Miller
must be a modest retiring gentle
man. He Is sending material to
the rural press at present explana
tory to the various internal tax
features which he expects printed
in all its verboseness and at the
same time he suggests that the
newspapers put him on thr ex
change lists that he may keepfrack
of their work. k
Biennially, the legislature visits
the penitentiary and with a com
plete realization of conditions there,
arranges the machinery for a new
builidng. Also biennially the peo
ple who never visit the 'penitentiary
but whohave the important part of
the plan of footing the bills, turn
the project down.
They are passing out health ther
mometers along with the fountain
pens and stationery n the legis't
ture this session and they are fre
uently used. When a legislator
finds his temperature above normal
he goes to bed. Aside from their
courage in handling the flu the sc
ions bid fair to make notable prog
ress in a positive way, especially in
the matter of consolidation and
highway plans. There is a pros
pect that the present session may
make a name for itself in the line
of efficiency.
The devil is to pay at Devil's
Lake, N. D. or so we infer from
circular sent out by the "Journal"
published in that town of infernal
cognomen. The lone postal law is
the subject of the circular and ap
parently the Journal man is consid
erably fussed up into a fume, anti
cipating that the same will be re
pealed. No, we did not have pat
ience to wade through the whole of
his diatribe but even a casual in
spection was enough to revcai the
cant terms of that peculiar group
who insist that the world is in the
grip of financial and moraljiobgob
lins. Selfishness bristles in every
line of this Devil's Lake man's
fulmination and he insists that the
country press unite to use its in
fluence to have this law retained
to enable them to cope with maga
zines and city dailies. There is too
much of this sort of thing ram
pant just now. On every side we
hear the appeal for all classes
from pedagogues, preachers and
farmers to blacksmiths and brick
layers to combine for the purpose
of a hold up on the rest of society.
Personally we think the zone law is
a bad thing because it tends to pro
mote sectionalism and make people
more narrow. We like the idea
that the people of Bangor, Maine
or Jacksonville, Florida are neigh
bors of ours and we can visit them
by mail with as little ceremony or
restrictionas we can people in Mar
ion county. It is true as the Dev
il's Lake demagogue says that it
costs more to - send the bible by
mail than it does a magazine. This
is the sort of argument that makes
you feel that the country is under
stocked with insane asylums. The
bible is in fairly common circulation
now. But it is through the maga
zines of the country that current
iterature, social, religious, political
and scientific reaches out its mental
food to the people. We should dis
like to see barriers erected that
would tend to sectionalize the
means by which the whole country
keeps track of the progress of the
race.
A great many reports are coming
from the peace conference regard
ing the results; some of them pes
simistic and some of them over an
guine. On the whole we have con
fidence that I fairly workable' solu
tion will come out of it. Both Brit
ain and the United States are liber
al enough to overcome the'grnsping
of the smaller powers.
Hie sentiment for a I'olk countv
agent appears to die hnrd.
Since the legislature takes its
temperature each morning why can
not the school do the same thing.
A patent medicine' advertising
man passing between the two towns
was authority for the information
published in the : Herald recently
that the two papers in Independ
ence had consolidated. The state
ment however, appears incorrect,
for last week the Post appeared to
announce that it was still alive and
kicking and planned in the near
future to get a complete outfit of
its own and spread out a bit. It is
understood that the old Monitor
outfit, at present held by the Farm
ers' Bank, is to be acquired. ...
The following literary spasm was
handed in for publication and the
otjly reason we ' comply is that
through he misery of company
some victim who has reached the
attitude where he feels like slaugh
tering something especially the
King's English may feel relieved
that some other less conscientious
person has done the job for him.
When your back is broken and
your eye is blurred,
And your shin bones knock and
your tongue is furred, .
And your tonsils squeak and your
hair gets dry,
And you're dog gone sure you're
going to die,
But youlre scared you won't and
. afraid you will,
Just drag into your bed and have
your chill,
And pray the Lord to see you thru
For you've got the Flu,
. Boy, you've got the Flu.
wnen your toes turn up and your
belt goes flat, '
Ana you re twice as mean as a
.. Thomas cat, : .
And lifejs along and dismaljcurse.
And your food all tastes like boiled
. hearse '
Ana your lattice aches ' and your
head's a buzz, "
And nothing'is as it was,
Here are my sad regrets to you,
' You've got the Flu, Boy,
you've got the Flu.
What is it like, this Spanish Flu
Ask me, brother, for I've been thru,
It is by misery out of despair.
It pulls your teeth and curls your
hair,.
It thins your blood and brays your
i
The War is at an End
Why do without things for the house any longer?
Household comforts and
Household Necessities
Furniture,
Rugs,
Linoleum
See our line of 18-92
Aluminum ware
The ware that wears forever '
S3
I (fTfTTTj
Heaters,
Ranges
PURE SPUN Pt
alumikuhM
Quality, First
. 1892 Wart
MONMOUTH HARDWARE CO.
ma
mm
bones,
And fills your craw with moans
and groans,
And maybe some time, you"ll get
well.
Some call it Flu, but I call it Holl.
A statistical fiend has figured out
that during the coming summer the
government, instead of devising
methods of aving wheat will, be
sitting up nights scheming new
nunns of getting rid'of it. The s.
f. figures tliut next year we will
have GOO. 000,000 bushels of wheat
in excess of any possible use we can
put the wheat to, Also the eleva
tor capacity of the country will
hold only luilf that amount and the
problem is; how can this surplus be
taken care of? It is pointed out
that we can not expect to sell wheat
to Europe for $'.'.'J6 per bushel
when Europe can buy wheat for $1
per bushel somewhere else. Also it
will be most difficult for our mil
lers to grind Hour for home con
sumption at $12 per barrel and at
the same time grind wheat for ex
port at $6 per barrel, which will
be the case if the government holds
up the guaranteed price of wheat.
He also points out the difficulty
that will attend an attempt of the
government to absorb the loss, buy
ing the wheat at the guaranteed
price and selling it at the market
price, a scheme which will cost the
country about a billion dollars. For
the market price varies according
to different grades of wheat in
different localities and fluctuates
with the seasons to say nothing of
the temptation of the farmer to sell
his grain for little or nothing know
ing that the government will
make good the difference to him.
The wheat problem for the coming
year is one that will puzzle a great
many experts before it is settled.
Rural Teacher's Repai tee
Enjoyed
A bit of humor that was appreci
ated by all at the State Teachers'
Convention at Portland, was inject
ed in ti e dry proceedings following
a report on "retardation", by A-
sistant City Superintendent Rice
of Portland, which stated that be
tween 50 and 60 per cent of the to
tal number of retarded pupils in
city schools were made up of child
ren who had come from rural
schools.
"I should like to ask," said a
school ma'am whose toes had evi
dently been stepped on, "has there
ever been a census taken as to re
tardation of city pupils who have
come into rural schools?"
When the laugh had subsided she
continued:
"I think, if the truth were known
parents who take their growing
children to the city to be raised
are the type who have feeble-mind
ed children anyway."
C. I. Barqlay of Benton county
stopped at the Beaver hotel in In
dependence while on a stock buy
ing tour and was there taken with
influenza and died,
Reuben Troxel of Independence
died within the past week of influen
za. He was 37 years of age. His
body as taken to Brownsville for
burial.
Hulda J. Bennett died in Inde
pendence recently of old age.
A. N. Halleck buys junk of all
kinds and pays highest cash
prices. , , 2Gtf
AIL WRONG
The Miitake it Made by Many Mon
mouth Citizen.
Look for the cause of backache.
To be cured you must know the
'rause. If it's weak kidneys You
must set the kidneys working right.
resident of this vicinity shows
you how.
Mrs. Sarah S. Ross. Sixth & Chi
cago Sts , Albany Ore.', says: "I
suffered everything from inflamma
tion of the bladder. My kidneys
acted irregularly, My back ached
so badly, I couidn t stand very long
at a time. I finally was relieved
almost from the first. Two boxes
practically cured me "of inflamma
tion of the bladder, crave me a
strong back and restored me to
good health." Price 60 cents at all
dealers. Don't simply ask for a
kidney remedy get Doan's Kidney
Pills the same that Mrs. Ross had.
Foster-Millburn Co., Mfgrs., Buffa
lo, N. Y.
Books, Stationery
f ijijinr ri -r-rr -" .
Candy, Cigars
Electric Light Bulbs
Souvenirs
MORLAN& SON
Momnuuth'i largest ami moat complete Confectionery and Buck Slor
Building Material From
Roof to Cellar
Oregon Fir and Hemlock Lumber
Douglas Fir Silos
The Gold Mine of the Farm
Lath, Mouldings, Fruit and Butter Box
es, Cedar Posts, Green and Dry Slab
wood, Cement, Wall Plaster, Lime,
Brick, Shingles, Rooting, Windows, etc.
Willamette Valley Lumber Co.
Phone Main 202. Monmouth, Oregon
30C
For any thing you want or don't
want try our bargain column. It will buy or sell for you.
Under New Management
CITY MEAT MARKET
L.J.Huston, Prop.
Fresh and "Smoked Meats
Home rendered pure Lard 33c
Lard compound 28c
We buy veal and hides Phone 2302
Monmouth Oregon
INSURANCE!
On City or Farm Insurance on three or
five year policies, we take notes payable in
yearly installments.
5 Bonds of all sorts sold.
Let us place your Insurance with old, reli-
jj able companies.
I GEO. W. CHESEBRO
Thm m$
a Crowd in
Vthe Store
; and they were trying to
"Have a chew on
me"sayshe."Break
off just two or three
squares.' That's a
man's size chew of '
Real Gravely. It
holds its good taste
josh the Tobacco Man
so long it costs noth
ing extra to chew
this class of tobao
CO.
It goes further that's
why you can get the good
taste of this class of lobacy
co without extra cost.
' PEYTON BRAND
Real Gravely Chewing Plug
each piece packed in a pouch