The Herald
RICHARD B. SWENSON
Editor ti Publisher
. . . i t
their mosques ami their light- tester of the empire wno, so we
nine express ia the camel which! Baritone said, was by various
traverses its sober way across means filching large quantities
Enteral u Mcond-clu ratur 8pUrnb 1 IM.
at Unpoatofficst Monmovtii.Onmn.iind Um
Act of Muck t ITS.
mVKD EVKKV FRIDAY
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MONMOUTH, OREGON
FRIDAY. MAR. 16, 1917.
30
0
Monmouth
Meditations
3
In these parlous times when
all that is left for a conscientious
meditator, if he would avoid the
opprobrium of those who, in
their own estimation, monopo
lize the word "patriot," is to be
come a little cuckoo to his hip
daily brethren in the efforts of
the latter to inflame our passions
to a war heat, it is a pleasure to
turn to the works of the late Ali
Hackaback. Mr. Huckaback is
n distinguished oriental author
who is not so widely known as-
he would have been had his
writings been given a wider cir
culntion. He appears to have
written, however, for the enter
tainment of himself and a few
friends and it was only by the
merest chance that we obtained
possession of the cherished
volumes. As to the manner am
method of this acquisition, it b
I
n story in itself, the telling of
which will have to wait for some
future convenience. The pleas
ure of bringing the works of Mr
Huckaback to the attention of
the reading public is the more
accute through its opportune
ness, it being a truth that hp
wus born in Bagdad, a venerable
city recently taken by the armies
of our allies, the British. Mr
Huckaback's works are semi
historical in character and for
the most part deal with a country
which he calls "Sandova." We
have spent some time investi
gating Sundova but in atlas, en
cyclopedia and history, have
failed to find as much as a single
suggestion of it. We have there
fore concluded that, some of the
relations being too personal to
meet with the approval of the
originals, Mr, Hackaback has
resorted to disguised names in
order to carry out 'his original
purpose.
One of these stories, that of
"The Artistic Henhouse," has
already been published in the
Herald. This week we give a
second selection:
AWAKENING SANDOVA
Or the Adventure ot the Jer
sey Hummer and the Caliph
"Blessed is Sandova. The
balm of Springtime is in its
gentle zephyrs. The shepherds
of a thousand hills keep watch
over their flocks as they did in
the year 1. The springtime o
life is still with its people am
the nervous haste of the occi
dent is not theirs. Their tele
graph and telephone systems are
the men who call the hours o
the day from the minarets of
the desert The most popular
historian of the country was a
blind man who could not write
a stroke, but kept his knowledge
in his head, and for many years
their only printing press was a
goosequill with which, upon
sheepskin', the grand scribe of
the caliph sent down to the peo
ple the edicts of the Sublime
Son of the Morning.
"Not long ago a change threat
ened to undermine old Sandova.
An agent of the International
Liquid Fuel Dispensary arrived
in the metropolis of the country
md proceeded to develop the
ochI market. He speedily con
vinced the housewives of the
city into an appreciation of his
wares and worked the old time
trick of the magician iu trading
new lamps for old ones. The
old ones were of solid copper
and sold in New York City for
$14 99 as souvenirs. The new
ones were of sheet iron, nickeled
over, and coRt 97 cents in the.
Chicago department stores, but
they shone with a light which
eclipsed the Lone Star of India
for brilliance.
In a very short time the path
blazed by the Liquid Fuel man
was widened into a thorough
fare by the trampling feet of a
throng of others. All sorts of
new industries flocked into
Sandova and began to tap the
pocket of the fierce son of the
desert. The game, while it last
ed, was a good one, but the finish
came with alarming suddenness.
The green goods man, the gold
brick man and the man who
was looking for the heir to an
estate in Dorsetshire. England,
were just getting ready to secure
the confidence of the opulent
and guileless Sandovan agri
culturist, wheiy of u sudden the
bubble collapsed. A young man
appeared and announced him
self ready to start a modern
newspaper.
The young man, whose name
was Stanton Merivale, was from
credentials and outward appear
ances' amply competent to the
task of arousing and astonishing
Sandova. Stress is laid on the
fact that he was a graduate from
the staff of the New Jersey Buz
zer of Hoboken. He knew his
rofession from the top to- the
bottom thereof. .
"In the initial issue of hit-
paper he devoted a few lines to
the death of Ali aboil Antisep
tic, the distinguished sage of
Damascus, and of the achieve
ment of Omar ibn Flatcar, who
after years of studious toil had
succeeded in squaring the circle
brief mention was made in an
obscure corner. 1
6
"Conspicuous headlines how
ever illuminated the front page,
telling of the twelfth wife of the
Emir of Cordwood who had
eloned with her coachman; how
the two had "been pursued and
captured by the irate emir who
had taken his captives, sewed
them up in bags and dumped
them into the Persian Gulf. In
vestigation afterward showed
this story to have no firmer
foundation than that the Emir
of CordwooJ had twelve wives.
"The next issue of the 'Bari
tone,' for so Mr. Merivale styled
his paper, had a long account
of an alleged embezzlement on
the part of the official cheese
of public coin. When the offi
cial whitewashes had got done
with this statement it was found
to have as its basis the fact that
Sandova had au " official cheese
tester. '
"In rapid succession the Bari
tone exploited a divorce case, a
murder, two attempts at suicide
as well as the exposure of a Don
Juan in high society.
"But these things soon ceased
to attract attentiou and Editor
Merivale resolved on a heroic
stroke of genius. He heard one
day that a gatekeeper had been
discharged from the force of
employees at the palace a'nd this
rumor served as a hook on
which to hang a grand fairy
tale.
"The son of the Akound of
Akechew, so the Baritone stated
in substance next day, had ac
quired a liking for the daughter
of the caliph and was wont to
call clandestinely at the imperial
palace. As the custom of Sand
ova, like all oriental countries,
is severe in its treatment of
young men and young women,
socially, the young man had to
cloak his calls with the utmost
secrecy. To succeed, he bribed
one of the gatekeepers. The
caliph, however, became cog
nizant of the state of affairs,
winked at the proceedings, and
even went so far as to engage
the young man for an hour each
evening in the game of 'gash
hesh,' the Sandovan game of
euchre, at which the caliph was
an expert.
"In the course of a few games
the young prince lost 'all his
money and in anger one night
he turned on the caliph, accus
ing that dignitary of cheating.
The caliph met the situation
promptly, summoned his guard,
and the young man was dis
patched to the sixtn ivioiiamme
dan heaven with neatness and
precision.
"Then the story was concoct
ed and passed out with the re
mains of the young man to his
relatives that the caliph had dis
covered the clandestine visits of
the prince and he had been
slain to preserve the good name
of the household. The offend
ing gate keeper had been dis
charged with a warning, and
altogether great pains were taken
to keep the affair a secret, etc.
"Those who took the trouble
to investigate afterward found
that while the Akound of Ake
chew had seven daughters, it
was the bane of his existence
that he had never had a son.
Also that the gatekeeper had
been discharged for stupidity
"The caliph, however, did not
wait to investigate. He stroked
his beard meditatively with his
left hand and then ordered a
general cleaning out of foreign
ers.
"It will be some time before
Sandova regains the same stand
ard of civilization she had ac
quired at the time of the first
issue of the Baritone.
" 'Allah!' comments Ali Hack
aback, 'Peace is monotonous,
but it is restful.' "
( ri ii
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' ' '9
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