X UNCLE ZEKE AND $
UNCLE ZADOC.
Copyright. IMS.)
After flTe year' courtship George
Toms, who was a farmer hired man,
lad married El'?n Williams, daughter
of another fanner. Both of them were
of a religious l.uture and set In their
ways, but they had no serious disagree
ments during their long courtsnlp. It
was only after they had been married
a month and were preparing to set up
for thenisejves that their talk one even
'i'g drifted into Biblical affairs, and
lue bride observed:
"George, I am glad you believe in all
there Is In the Bible. If you didn't I
should be an unhappy woman. Martha
Jones was telling me today that she
once heard you say that you didn't be
lieve Daniel was cast into the lions'
den. You do believe it. don't you?"
"He might have been," was the
doubtful unswer.
"But he was. and you know he was.
If you thought he wasn't 1 couldn't
live with you another day."
"Well, we'll let It go and talk of
something else."
Nothing further was fin id for a day
or two, but it rankled with the wife.
She believed in the lions' den, and she
wanted the husband to come out flat
footed and say that he did. She there
fore returned to the subject, and when
be tried to dodge her she became an
noyed and aggressive and demanded to
know just where he stood.
"You know my Uncle Zeke, who
moved away to Kansas a year ago?"
he Anally replied. "You know Uncle
Zeke was always reading the Bible.
He was always getting up camp
meetings and revivals, and sometimes
he exhorted. Couldn't be no better man
than my Uncle Zeke."
"Well, what of him?"
"He didn't believe Daniel was cast to
the lions."
"And so you don't?"
"I can't say as I do, but there ain't
any need of bringing up the matter
and disputing."
"But there is," Insisted the wife.
"You know my Uncle Zadoc, who
moved away to Indiana three years
ago? Well, a better man don't live.
He's read the Bible through nineteen
times since be was married, and he's
considered higher authority than most
preachers. He believed that Daniel
was cast to the Hons, and so do I. If
you don't, then we can't live together."
The husband felt called upon to
stick by his Uncle Zeke and the wife
to stick to her Uncle Zadoc, and at the
end of three days she went home to
her father. During the next year a
dozen vain efforts were made by their
friends to bring them together again.
No matter what the ministers in the
nearest villages said, they stuck by
their respective uncles. By this time
most of the Inhabitants of the country
had heard of the affair and taken
sides, and ns the church to which they
both belonged was being harmed
charges were preferred against them,
and they were suspended.
No olher families were broken up,
but there were argument and dispute
wherever a few people were gathered
together, and "what Uncle Zeke said"
and "what Uncle Zadoc said" became
the butt of many jokes.
After sixteen months of separation
Mrs. Toms fell into the mill pond, and
Mr. Toms happened to be on hand to
rescue her. They might have made
up then and there but for the fact that
letters were received from Uncle Zeke
and Uncle Zadoc to the effect that they
were coming back to settle the dis
pute. "And you'll find that my Uncle Zeke
and I have been right all the time,"
said the husband to the wife.
"Never!" Rhe replied. "My Uncle Za
doc won't be five minutes In convinc
ing you that you've been all wrong."
"It's awful thnt you have stuck out
the way you have and kept us apart"
"And but for your obstinacy we
might have been happy."
The county waited Impatiently for
the arrival of the respective uncles.
They arrived. The husband told his
story to his Uncle Zeke, and the wife
told hers to her Uncle Zadoc, When
Uncle Zeke had beard all he replied:
"George, what I said about it was
one day in the tater field. What I
said was that If Daniel was really cast
among the lions it happened that the
critters wasn't hungry just then. I'd
been reading that no Hon on a full feed
would tackle a man. You'd better hus
tle over and see Ellen and make this
thing up."
The wife told her story to her Uncle
Zadoc, and when he had heard all he
replied:
"I remember the day I said It It
was In harvest time and we had a lot
of men to dinner. Jim Hawkins flung
out something, and I replied that I be
lieved that Daniel was cast into the
Ben."
'There! I knew you said UP ex
claimed the niece.
"Yes. but I was folng to say more
when John White got a bone In his
throat and rut me off. I was going to
say that niebbe Daniel got out of the
cage by another door before the lions
had decided to eat him. You've been
a mighty foolish woman, and you'd
better get on your bonnet and hustle
over to see George and tell him so."
And 500 people were strung out
along the highway to see husband and
wife meet and make up and stay mad
up to the end of their days.
M. QUID.
The Special Purpose Cow,
Dr. James Withycombe in his
address before the annual meet
ing of the State Dairy Associa
tion made the plea for the spec
ial purpose cow, He said: "This
is an age of specialization. I
know I am on dangerous ground,
but the dual-purpose cow is a
thing of the past We educate
men for special purposes and we
raise animals for special pur
poses. We would not expect
speed from a draught horse nor
weight from a trotter, nor should
we expect milk from a beef cow
or beef from a milch cow. These
are opposite functions, and you
will get milk or beef, and when
you get one the cow does not sat
sify the adherents of the other.
If Oregon's 275,000 cows were
special purpose cows we would
hear less of the cry that dairying
does not pay. A Peer's Sur
prise, Adelaide of Beechlands,
Madtlint May, Chloe of Mechho
lilde, Empress of Sunnybank or
Golden Gazelle is worth a herd
of dual-purpose cows. There is
no element of chance in the spec
ial purpose cow, while often the
dual purpose cow is an unknown
quantity.
At present there are only four
breeds of special purpose dairy
cattle. Each excels the other
under certain environments. It
is simply wasting time and money
to attempt to dairy with any
other breed. The sooner our
dairymen understand this the
better for the industry. The
special dairy cow is not necessar
ily a delicate cow, but is highly
sensitive to uncomfortable con
ditions. This brings up the ques
tion of stabling. A cow will lose
10 per cent by being confined to
her stall by the old rigid stanch
ion. If all the dairy cows in the
state were confined with this
style stanchion it would mean an
annual loss of $1, 500,000.
"The special purpose cow does
not necessarily mean a pure bred
cow, but she must be the descen
dant of a pure bred sire. No
dairyman should breed from any
thing less than a pure bred sire
whose dams were special purpose
cows with the best of records."
Dr. Withycombe recommended
kale as a winter and also a sum
mer forage for the dairy cow.
He insisted that they raise more
vetch hay and alfalfa and kale.
Free Excursion to Seattle.
The Herald has made arrange
ments to give a number of young
people, preferably young ladies,
a free trip to the Alaska-Yukon-
Pacific exposition at Seattle.
This trip will include all expenses
from the time of the start from
your home depot until you return
to it The trip will require one
week. Starting from Portland
in the evening and returning ar
rive there in the evening. It in
cludes side trips to all points of
interest in the city of Seattle, a
trip to Tacoma and spending the
day there sightseeing, also a trip
on a fine steamer from Seattle to
Victoria, B. C.
All traveling expenses will be
paid, including hotel bills, car
fares in the cities visited and ad
missions to the Fair.
No other country newspapar
has attempted anything like this
Opened
A lot of
Silk, Lawn and Net
Waists
Direct by express from New York
See Them
LINDSAY & CO.
Church Directory.
Evangelical Church
L. C. Hoover, Pastor
Morning service at 11:00 o'clock
Evening service at - 7:00 o'clock
Sunday School at 10:00 a. m.
Y. P. A. Meeting at 6.30 p. m.
Prayer Meeting Wednesday evening.
CHRISTIAN CHURCH.
W. A. Wood, Pastor.
Morning Service at 11. a. m.
Evening Service at 7:00 p.m.
Sunday School 9:45 a. m.
Y. P. S. C. E. 6:30 p. m.
Prayer Meeting Wednesday 7:30 p. m.
Baptist Church.
Sunday School 10 a. m.
Preaching 2:30 p. m.
and we hope that our efforts to
advertise Polk county will be ap
preciated and that a large num
ber will want to make the trip.
Those who would like to make
the trip will please fill out the
blank form on another page of
this paper and we will be glad to
give them all the information at
our command.
No limit has been set on the
number to be sent as yet but it
depends on circumstances. We
would like to send at least five
young people on this excursion
and if the people show their ap
preciation of ourefforts sufficient
ly it will be no trouble to do so.
His Inspiration.
The negro brass band connected with
the traveling troupe was blatting a
tune In its characteristic slap bang
style in front of the theater when a
dusky cornet player who had been
sulking all day suddenly quit blowing
and did not resume.
"Say, Mose," demanded the leader In
the ensuing pause, "ain't yo' workln
any mo'?"
"Ah is w'en Ah gits de inspiration, "
retorted the sulky musician, throwing
the whites of bis eyes across at the
leader.
"W'en am datr
"W'en Ah gits man las' week's pay.
Kansas City Independent
Polk County Bank
Established 1889
Monmouth, Oregon.
Paid Capital
Surplus and Undivided Profits
$30,000
$7,000
Transacts a General Banking Business
OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS
J. H. Hawley, President J. B. V. Butler, Vice President,
Ira C. Powell, Cashier
F. S. Powell, ' J. B. V. Butler,
J. B. Stump, I. M. Simpson.
Acorn Store
Wm. Evans, Prop.
Books, Periodicals, Ice Cream,
Soda and Soft
Drinks.
J. W. HOWELL
Contractor and Builder
Carpenter shop and General
Repair Work.
Moulding and Finishing
Material
Cor. Knox and Jackson Sts.
Monmouth Laundry
We want to make our good
reputation better still by giving
universal satisfaction to our pa
trons. If dissatisfied, tell us
why.
Bring in your Suits and have
them Cleaned and Pressed, at
the
Monmouth Electric Laundry
- For Sale.
One of the nicest residences in
Monmouth, 12 rooms, hot and
cold water, bath and pantry.
Furnace heat. Four lots, some
fruit trees and shrubbery to
gether with almost entire furnish
ings for $2500. Terms can be
given on a part of this. Enquire
of the Polk County Realty Co.,
at the Herald office.
This price is far below real
value and will only stand for a
short time.