ÍWO LIFELONG LOVERS. Highest of all in Leavening Power.— Latest U. S. Gov’t Report Powder A B SO LU TELY PURE B a ro n e s« R o th s c h ild . The Barouess Rothschild paid a pret­ ty if somewhat exaggerated compli­ ment to a prinia donna the other day. She invited the young lady to dine with her and after dinner asked her to try the ton-j of her piano. Not a sonnd came from the keys when touched. “ I WHAT HE WANTED. had the instrument unstrnng this morn­ N o S h o r t E x p r e s s io n « o f L o r e W o u l d I>o ing, mademoiselle,” said the baroness, “ that yon might see that the only pleas­ P o r ti l « G ir l. "Yon keep rings here, don't you?” he ure l promised myself from your pres­ asked in a Woodward avenue jewelry , ence this evening waa the pleasure of your society. ” —London Tit-Bits. ■tore. “ Certainly,” replied the clerk. L a w f u l. “ Something for yourself?” CrimsoDbeak — Is pitching pennies “ No. I'm thinkin of gittin somethin fur my girl. Got anything fur about considered gambling? Yeast—Yes, I believe it is. $ 8 ?” “ Well, I see a New York dry goods “ Yes, I can give you a plain ring at that price. Here is something very store has two cologne fountains as at­ tractions. ” n eat ” “ Certainly. ” “ I guess that would fit her all right. “ Well, why do they allow them to Kin I have somethir. < ngravedon to it?” throw up a scent?"—Yonkers States­ “ Of course. What is it?” “ Waal, I want you to put on i t : ‘From man. Thomas J. to Helen H ., who is not only N o t t o B « T r u s te .! , the best lookin but the smartest girl in the state of Michigan. My love will never, never grow oold, and should death overtake me my last thought would be of you. Be good, and you’ll be happy, and please a.vept this as a token of love. ’ That’s what I want yon to put on. ” “ Good gracious, but you can’t get all that on a ring!" exclaimed the clerk. “ Must have it on or I don’t want a ring!” was the firm reply. "B ut the usual way is simply to en­ grave ‘T. to H. ’ with the date after it. ” “ The usual way may be all right with some girls, but it won't work with “ No, she can’t keep a secret. The mine. Wnat she wants is sentiment— othei day I confided to her that I was heaps of sentiment So you can’t get it going to marry her uncle, and the silly on?” thing went and told him. ” —Life. “ Couldn’t possibly do i t You’d want I t H a s a D -.a w b a c k . a surface as large as your hand to get that on.” “ George,” she said—and the way she “ Say!’ exclaimed the young man aft­ wrinkled h-r pretty brow showed that er a moment of reflection. “ I have it! she was troubled—“ do you know any­ I'll buy her a silver belt knuckle in­ thing about motocyclee?” stead of a ring, and I ’ll have ’em put “ Very little, dearest,” he replied as on all I said and add to it: ‘Yon are he drew her closer to him. never absert from my thoughts, and a For a few minutes she remained vision of jo u r dear face rises up before bnried in thonght, and then she looked me a thous tnd times a day. Be true— np at him again and said: be true! Virtue is its own reward, and “ Yon don’t know, then, whether the your mother kin live with us after we motocycle principle is applicable to are married. No more at present— sleighs, do you?” goodfcy!’ ” —Detroit Free Press. “ No-o,” he answered slowly, " I don't, bnt I don’t think it is.” H e P r e p a r e d H im s e lf I n A d v a n c e . "Then there would be no moonlight Colonel A. T. Vogelsang, the attor­ sleigh rides with the motocycle,” she ney. is regarded as one of the best ra­ suggested, half inquiringly; “ no nar­ conteurs of the legal profession. In the row little cutter with a high back and Palace grillroom yesterday he let out a a high dashboard and a great big buffa­ string of excellent bar anecdotes. He lo robe that almost hides you from sight said a ’»v weeks ago that Dennis Spen­ and makes everything seem so nice and cer, the Napa luminary, was called up­ cozy; no gliding over the white snow on by a Chinaman one evening, when so smoothly that you hardly feel the the following dialogue ensued: motion and decide that yon would like " ‘One Chinaman kill another China­ to go through life in just that way, man with a hatchet; how much you with just that one person beside yon?” charge make him clear?' “ I ’m afraid not,’’lie said regretfully. “ ‘I 'll take the rase.' said Mr. Spen­ “ No big sleighing parties,” she went cer, ‘for $ 1 , 000 .' on; “ none of the lovemaking that is so “ ‘Allee rig h t,’ said the Chinaman, particularly identified with the sleigh?” ‘I be back after while.’ "N o .” “ In a'oout a week he returned to Mr. She was silent again for a few min­ Spencer’s office and laid down (1,000 utes. Then she looked trustingly into in gold coin on his table. Mr. Spencer his eyes as she said: sw ept the money into the drawi r. " I don't think much of motocycles “ ‘Well, the Chinaman, he dead. ’ after all, do yon?” “ ‘Who killed him?’ “ Not for winter nse, ” he replied.— “ ‘I did.’ Chicago Post. " ‘When did you kill him?’ E x p l a i n i n g H im s e lf . " ‘Last night.’ ” There was some curiosity on the part Judge Henry Howland tells the story of the audience for further light on the of the embarrassed bnt generous hearted disposition of the (1,000, but Mr. Vo­ young man who felt called upon to re­ gelsang immediately spun off on to an­ lieve the sndden cessation of drawing other story.—San Francisco Call. room conversation, which oftentimes overtakes even the most brilliant social H ow H e M ode I t P ay. circles. With the* blushes surmounting “ Ain’t a dollar pretty high for a his cheeks he timidly turned to the meal like that?” asked the tourist. daughter of the hostess, who was not " I don’t mind ownin up that it is,” present in the room, and inquired: said the landlord of the Cowboys’ Rest, “ Ho-bow is yo-your mo mo-mother? “ but them meals cost me 76 cents N-not th-that I gi-give a d —n, bu-bnt it apiece. ’ ’ ma-makes ta-talk. ” —New HaveD Reg­ “ But I happen to know that you sell ister. a ten meal ticket for (5. ” A F o re c a s t o f th e F u tu re . ‘ * Yaas, I know 1 dc, but about half the “ Ah 1” cried Joan of Arc. fellers that buys them tickets gits kill­ The Maid of Orleans drew herself np ed before they have eat two meals. ” — prondly. Indianapolis Journal. “ I will live in hiHtory as the first fe­ male to wear a coat of male, and” —a T a le « o f T r a v e le r « . First Traveler—While in Africa I gleam of triumph shone in her eye— faced two lions, a tiger and three ele­ “ the nether garments to match !” In her exultation she caused her barb­ phants in the same jungle—and I'm ed steed to prance till the rivets rattled alive .vet. Second Traveler—Huh ! T hat’s noth­ in her cast iron bloomers.—Pick Me Up. ing. While in Texas I bowed to a girl P a in f u l S u rp ris e . that three Mexicans were in love with. Mrs. Goodkiud — I presume. Miss —New York Weekly. Flyppe, that in the course of your long sojourn in France you learned to speak C a ttin g Mr. Sauer (to his wife)—How horrid the language like a native. Miss Flyppe—To speak it? Why, I of you to be always looking as sour as a crab apple! Just look at Mrs. X----- even became accustomed to doing my over yonder, the very picture of cheer­ thinking in French. Mrs. Goodkind—How very shocking I fulness. Mrs. Sauer—You seem to forget, my —Chicago Tribune. dear, that Mrs. X----- is a widow.— f lo w A b o u t H e r E a r s ? Nene Welt. Mary and John sitting on the sofa. Mary—Cease your flatteries, or I will V e ry S e rio m M a tte r. “ Your friend seems to be in trouble.” put my hands to my ears. John (wishing to be complimentary) “ He is.” —Ah, your lovely bands are too small. “ Wbat’s the matter?” "H e came in tocollectflO (hat I owe —London Tit-Bits. him .” —Chicago Record. N o t h i n g t o B e A s h a m e d O f. Gotham Girl—How do yon New Eng­ T h o s e F o r e i g n C h a p s G e t T h e r e E v e r y T im e . landers get over the fact that your an­ cestors believed in witches? Boston Girl—We call it hypnotism.— New York Weekly. Puguacious and Jealous Party (in road)—There sits that imported poodle th a t’s breaking the hearts of all the she degs in the neighborhood. He even weaned my pet setter's affection rrom me. How I ’d like to have him out here in the road for just five minutest (Walks slowly away, growling, and waits at the corner. )—Truth. H a D i d n 't G o T h e r a . Fond Mother—Dear me, w hat’s the matter now? Married Daughter—Boo-lioo—my hus­ band has deceived me. Fond Mother—The brute 1 How do you know? Married Daughter—He—boo-hoo—he said he was—wss going to the ohnrch fair last night, and—and he didn't. He went somewhere else. Mother—Who told you he went some­ where else? Daughter—Nc one. This morning I found some some money in his pockets —boo-hoo-boo!—New York Weekly. A B c n te o c o O v e r h e a r d I n t h e N t r e t A ss ■ s e n t l i . <11(1 C o n u n d r u m . Tired by a long day's work and feel­ ing a bit “ bine" over some matters which bad gone counter to my hopes, I was walking down Broadway one night last week, on my way home. It was after 10 o’clock and the down town streets were almost deserted. As I turned through Sixteenth street I noticed an old lady and an older gen tleman walking slowly, arm in arm, evidently husband and wife. He was apparently abont 70, r.'ie perhaps five years younger. They seemed very fond of each other. There was just the least little inclina­ tion of the head of each toward the oth­ er, and they were strolling along so slowly as to suggest the thonght that their pace was regulated not somnch by the infirmities of age as by the desire and pleasure of being alone together. They were talking earnestly. It had rained earlier in the evening and the sidewalks were still wet, so that I had put on my rubbers before leaving the office. Consequently my ap­ proach was noiseless. Just as I overtook and passed the old people the man turn­ ed to his wife aud said, as if in answer to some remark she had made, “ Bnt, my dear, I like to think God sent 70 a to me. ” From a lover to his sweetheart or from a young hnsband to a young wife the words might have sounded semi mental, and would certainly hnve seem­ ed commonplace, bnt from a hnsband of three score and ten to a wife of 65 they bad a weight and dignity which made them sweet to bear and wholesome to recall. Here was the whole s'ory of two lives told in a sentence. Heiewas the answer to the old question about marriage. For them it was surely a divine success. Here at ler-st was proof that tho writers of fairy tales and of old time novels spoke truly wlieu they said that “ they were married and lived happy ever aft­ er. ” —New York Herald. KOREAN CURIOSITIES. A ll t h e T o o l« M a d e b y B a u d a m i N a tiv e I r o n U se d . Frank G. Carpenter, writing about the peculiarities of Korea, says among other things: “ One of our ponies had to be shod, and another time we pnt shoes on the bull which carried the baggage. The pony was first thrown to the gronud, and his four legs were tied together so that he couldn’t possibly kick. “ Then the blacksmith pounded hoop iron shoes on his feet with a rnde iron hammer. It was the same with the bull, thongb one man had to sit on his head while he was being shod. The iron seemed to be very good, aud it comes from the mines in the northern part of the country. The tools of the country are made of it, and the farming tools are very ingenious, the throe and four pronged hoes being qnite as good as anything we have in America. They were making tools in this blacksmith’s ■bop, and all the tools and plows are made by band. “ The blacksmith had a rnde bellows, which was worked by a boy who stood on a seesaw aud by moving np and down pumped the fire into a blaze. In other places I saw bellows which boys worked by palling a stick in and out like that cf a rqnirtgnu, and everything is rnde in the extreme. “ Sometimes horses are shod by being strapped np to poles, so that only two of their feet can rest on tne ground, and the band which goes around the belly holds the horse np while he is shod. ” —Roxbnry Gazette. R u n n i n g t h e G a n tl o p e . The following extracts give further Information concerning this punish­ ment : “ In running the gantlope, the regi­ ment was formed six deep, and the ranks opened and face« inward. Each man be­ ing furnished with a switch, the offend­ er, naked to the waist, was led through the ranks, preceded by a sergeant, the point of whose reversed halbert was pre­ sented to his breast to prevent his run­ ning too fast. As he thus passed through the ranks every soldier gave him a stroke. ” —Grose's “ Military Antiqui­ ties,” Volume 2, Page 108. Bnt the oldest notice I have seen is given in "Monro: His Expedition with the Worthy Scots Regiment (called Mackey esKegiineut), levied in August, 1626, etc. London: Priuted by William Jones in Red Crosse-Streete, 1687:” “ Other slight punishments we eu- jovne for slight faults, put iu execution by their camarades; as the loupegarthe (rrnniug the gantlet; Swedish gantn- lopp, to run through a hedge made by soldiers), when a sonldier is stripped naked above the waste, and is made to runne a furlong betwixt 200 soul- diers, ranged alike opposite to others, leaving a space iu the midst for the sonldier to rnune through, where his camarades whip him with small rods ordained aud cut for the purpose by the Gavilliger (provost marshal), and all to keepe good order and discipline. ” — Notes and Queries. T h e C oal M an. “ The train was late,” tho traveler said, “ and when it got to the place where we were to get supper everybody was tremendously hungry, and every­ body, or almost everybody, made a wild rush for the restaurant. A cool man was one of a few who did not hurry, and who, when they got into the restaurant, found that every seat was taken. Here was a situation to test a man's nerve. Only 20 minutes for the meal, and with the train late, (hat time sure nut to be prolonged, and it was the last meal of the day. There would be no more eating ■tops until morning. ¡Some men would have fret ted r.ud fume:’ and made ihern- selves unhappy over this, aud that is jnst what one or two of the others with­ out seats did, bnt the cool man remain­ ed fr.icctly calm and nndisturbrd. In fact, he seemed rather to enjoy looking on at the scene of activity. Bnt calm as he was, he was none the less alert. With unerring acuteness, though iu a casual sort of manner, he stationed himself near the quickest eater, aud when that gentleman had pitchforked himself full, which he did iu abont ten uiinntes, the cool man took his seat, the first one va­ cated. There was still ten minutes, aud bow lie profited by it could be told by the added touch of serenity observable upon his countenance when he lighted his cigar in (lie smok’tig room of the Bleeper. ”—New York San. A D iv id e d J u r y . A man was on trial in Lake connty recently on a charge of grand larceny. He was accused of stealing a hog. An old randier, whose interest in tlie case was due to the fact that lie owned a big drove of hogs, listened attentively to the impaneling of the jury and then left the courtroom with an undisguised dis­ gust. “ What’s the matter, Sam?” inquired an attorney, “ That ju ry ’s goin to disagree,” be declared emphatically. “ What makes you think so?” “ Think? I don’t think nothin about it. I know it. ” “ Well, then, bow do you know it?’’ “ Why, they've got six hog men that raise hogs and four men that I knows has stole hogs on that jury, and nobody A L a k e o f B o il in g L a r a . Manna Loa, the gigantic Hawaiian ever know’d a bog raiser an a hog thief volcano, has two critters cr openings, as would agree on a hog case.” —San one of which, Kilanea, is the largest Francisco Post. active volcanic crater in the world. The I t W a s a G o o d O ld P a r a s o l. mountain is 14,100 feet high, and K i­ A draper's assistant was showing a lanea is situated on the eastern side, lady some parasols. The assistant had a about 4,000 feet above the level of the good command of language aud knew sea. This marvelous crater is really a how to expatiate on the good qualities vast lake of boiling lava which rises a::d and show the best points of goods. As falls continually by the action of sub­ he picked np a parasol from the lot on terranean fires. In toesing to and fio the counter and opened it he struck an like a troubled sea of molten mc’al the attitude of admiration, and holding it lava is dashed against the cliffs and np to the best light that could bo had hardens there in the form of long, glassy said: filaments, gigantic knobs, miniature “ Now. there, isn’t it lovely? Lo k at trees, aud in imitation of grass, leaves, that silk. Particularly observe the qual­ etc. ity, the finish, the general effect. Feel Another form of glassy filament t ) it. Pass yonr hand over it. No nonsense be fonnd along the shores of this fiery abont that parasol, is there?" he said as lake is in the shape of queer bunches he handed itovor to the lady. “ Ain’t it and tufts of lava made up of an aggre­ a beauty?” gation of vitreous threads which the na­ “ Yes,” said the lady. "T h at’s my tives call “ Pele’s hair,” Pele being the old one. I jnst laid it down here. ” — goddess to whom the mountain is dedi­ Liverpool Mercury. cated. These glassy threads appear to be caused by the passage of steam A T r a m p C r ie s . through the molten lava. In so doing It was simply an everyday incident of small particles in the shape of bnbble- city life, bnt it attracted tbe attention like balloons are thrown into the air, of one passerby. leaving a tail behind like 1 comet. The merry pupils of one of the dis­ When the scene of these miuiatnre steam trict schools were romping in the play­ eruptions is near a rock or the shore all ground, nothing distracting their atten­ solid and cool surfaces are found cover­ tion from the sport, bnt from without a ed with bunches of “ Pele’s hair. ” This man, a tramp, with ragged coat and un­ “ hair” was formerly nsed in mystic kempt appearance, was peering through native ceremonies, and of late years the iron palings. has been gathered in large quantities Nothing was said, but when tbe chil­ by curiosity seekers. —St. Louis Repub­ dren were called back to work, he turn­ lic. ed away, brushing a tear from his sod den face with his ragged sleeve. An or­ H o w to R o a s t th e S u c c u le n t O y ste r. Select large oysters ai d have them dinary incident, bnt one with pages cf scrubbed thoroughly, then dace them in history behind it.—Cincinnati Commer­ the oven in a large tin with the ronnd cial Gazette. side of the shells down, so that when F o r W o m e n W h o D r iv e . they open the liqnor will not be lost “ Yon can drive me to the water,” As soon as they do open remove the up said the horse bitterly to the woman in per shell, sprinkle them with salt, pep the bnggy, “ but you can’t make me per and chopped parsley, add a little drink—unless yon let down my check butter and serve hot as possible on a bed rein.” —Chicago Tribune. or water cress. Oysters served in this way make an excellent first eonree nt There never was any party, faction, dinner if accompanied by thin slices of sect or cabal whatsoever in which the brown bread and butter.—Ladies' Home most ignorant were not the most violent, Journal. < for a liee is not a bnsier animal ¡ban a blockhead. —Pope. E x p l a in e d . “ Pa, what is a trip hammer?” In Kentucky poker games the strength “ It's the hammer, my son, that yonr T h e C ause. lies in the draw—of both gnns at the ma leaves o< the carpet when she hangs First Debutante—My cheeks are all earliest possible moment.— Pittsbmp up a picture. ” —Detroit Free Press. on fire. Pispatch. Second Debutante—I thonght there G la z in g T e n s . was a smell of burning paint.—Town On© W a y o f O b t a i n i n g P a y m e n t. The glazing of pens, in some varieties and Country Journal. “ I ’ll see abont it,” he said, as he considered an important operation, is done with la? dissolved in naphtha.— handed the bill to the collector. T h e S tir r e d a n d S y m b o lic P a l i n . “ I t ’s only £5 and ’— Los Angeles Express. From the very earliest times the palm “ I ’ll see abont it, 1 told yon. ’’ tree has been recognized as a symbol of C a t h e r i n e * c f F o w l« D e n ig n a te d . “ And we need money. It would be a victory. Among the Greeks and the The following is somewhat technical, great favor.” Romans palm branches were used to but may be of interest to others besides "D id n ’t I say I would call?” decorate the buildings and streets of sportsmen. “ Double Barrel” writes: “ Yes, bnt when?” their cities in honor of the relnru of a “ I 11 yonr usnally accurate columns I no­ “ Look here,” said the debtor, ns he victorious army. This custom appears tice that you fall into the common mis­ rose np. “ Do you mean to insult me?” i to have been taken from the eastern take of speaking of a ‘covey’ of pheas­ “ No, sir. I mean to go down to the nations, bnt from what one in particn- ants. I know that mauy other people do newspaper offices aud get them to put lar no one now knows. the same thing. The term is wrong as in a notice that yon will soon depart for At a very early age the Hebrews were applied to snch game. It may be inter­ India. Good day, sir.” accustomed to t arrv palm branches on all esting to yonr readers to know what are “ Here, come back. Here's yonr mon­ occasions of rejoicings. This custom the proper names to apply to assem ey. Do yon snppose I want 500 collec­ having been observed on the entry of blages of birds, aud I therefore send yon tors making a rush on my office? Please Christ into Jerusalem, the tree has come a short list of them : A covey of par­ receipt the bill. Sony I kept yonr folks to bear a special symbolism among tridges ; a nye, liide, or nest of pheasants; waiting for i t . ” —London Globe. Christians. The primitive church nsed a herd of swans ; an exalting of larks ; a The strangers who go np the railway it to express the triumphs of the Chris­ watching of nightingales; a team of tian over death through the resurrec­ docks; a muster of peacocks; a bevy of to Vesuvius, in spite of the long journey tion. As early as the second century qnails; a flight of doves; a flock or gag­ (eight hours there and back) and ti e A. D. it became the custom to carve gle of geese; a spring of teals; a fall of high price (£1 ), number about 10,000 palm branches on the tomostones of woodcocks; a pack of gronse; a sedge of yearly those who had died for the faith, and herons; a shoal of rooks; a trip of Life is to 1 « fortified by many friend about the same time all pictures of mar­ widgeon; a wisp or walk of snipe. sh’ps. To love aud to be loved is th< tyrs were figures holding representations There are many others, bnt these are the greatest happiness of existence.—Syd of palm branches in their hands.—St. principal. ney Smith. Exchange. Louis Re *■«- PESSIMISTIC LABOUCHERE. HIT ON THE BATTLEFIELD. NO G e n e r a l M ile « T e l l , o f t h e S e n s a t i o n . P r o - d u ced by G u n sh o t W ound«. Ha “ Yon have been wounded several times, general. How does it feel to be shot?” “ That depends npou where the ball strikes you,’’replied General Miles. “ If it passes through the fleshy part of the body without hitting the bone, it is a half mile away beforo you realize that you are shot. If it meets with resist­ ance, however, yon get the fnll force of the bullet, and it strikes you like a sledge hammer. I was shot in the neak. The ball cut along the side of mv throat, under my ear and passed on. At Chancellorsville a ball struck my waist belt plate, and then, deflecting, went in­ to the body. The blow paralyzed me. I could not move i'or weeks from my waist downward, and every one thonght I would die. I Was taken home to Mas­ sachusetts, and after a few days I sur­ prised the doctors by moving my right foot. They took this for a sign that the ball was in the opposite side of the body aud probed for it, laying the bone of my hip bare. They fonnd the bone broken and took out nine pieces, leaving one, which they failed to find. They fonnd the bullet several inches farther down than these pieces of broken bone. “ At another time I was wounded in the shoulder by the half of a bullet. I was holding my sword np to my shoul­ der when the bullet struck the edge of tho blade and was ent in two, one half of the bullet flying on and the other go­ ing into my shoulder. At another time I was wounded in the foot, the ball striking a Mexican spur tbat I was wearing and going off into my foot. By the way, I think I have the spur. ” Here the general opened a draw er iu his desk and pulled out a big Mexican spur, which was broken on one side. The break was caused by the bnllet striking the spur.—Bloomington (Ills.) Panto­ graph. _______________ It has been observed from time i n ­ memorial that a enrious perversity of climate—so we have been accustomed to consider it—generally provides one sort of weather tg match a precisely op­ posite sort of clothing. Thus a walking stick will generally attract rain and an umbrella will produce sunshine. Indeed the principle of perversity governs every department of life. Should sunshiue be necessary it w ill be wet. Documents of no importance are never mislaid. We invariably meet the people whom we are anxions to avoid and miss those we especially wish to meet. A woman generally loses her heart to the wrong man ; a man gener­ ally marries the wrong woman. Every ene will he able to add to these exam­ ples almost indefinitely from personal experience. There are no accidents whatever in life. Modern science has established that every incident is governed by an in­ variable law. Careful observation and the study of statistics prove beyond the possibility of doubt that clothes do very materially influence weather, a discov­ ery which should lie invaluable not only to the farmer, bnt to every member of the community. Recent science, moreover, has erro­ neously adopted the theory of the surviv­ al of the fittest. The primal law which governs every qjrcnmstance of life is the survival of the unfittest. For in­ stance, if a man is to inherit a fortune from a relative, the latter will survive to extreme old age. Iu literature and in art the man of talent fails, the charlatan attains fam a Iu finalice aud in com­ merce the swindler makes a fortune and becomes fashionable, tbe bone 6 t man is driven into bankruptcy. An enemy is sure to flourish. The pattern Sunday school boy is cut off iu bis youth ; the truant grows to manhood, marries hap­ pily and dies respected and regretted by all. The worthy youth never marries the woman he loves; she marries his utterly worthless rival. —Loudon Truth. FRANCE AND ENGLAND. A n n ih ila tio n o f th e B ritis h E m p ir e F ro m a F r e n c h P o i n t o f V ie w . T h in k , th e P r in c ip ia o f P e rv e ra lty G o r e r n n A l l D e p a r t m e n t « o f L ilo . NOT ONE. aa T h ere is n o t a h u m a n being p h y sic ally p erfect. M uch o f th is im p erfectio n com es from h eritag e, m u ch m ore from accid en t, neglect o r igDoranoe. A ll o f th is m ass of ] m o rta l snfferiDg is m a n ife st in ach es an d p a in s o f m o re o r less in te n s ity , o r in som e k in d o f u n n a tu r a l d ‘stre*s.' H en ce a ’l striv e for relief.«»T he sim p le st a n d su rest is o f co a rse tb e best, a n d tru e eco n o m y de­ m a n d s to h av e it ala-ays a t h a n d . W h en s e know tb a t a n o rd in a ry s p ra in m ay m ak e a c rip p le for life, we sh o u ld seek th e best rem ed y a t once, an d a t on e we know t h a t it is fo u n d in a b o ttle o f S t. Jacob* till. T h o se w ho in an y w ay d o u b t th is can exj>erim ent a n d be su re o f cu re. T h o u ­ sa n d s h av e d o n e so. Fils Cure® She—What Is a burlesque? He—A lake off. She—A take-off of what? He-OI Ciolhes, gen­ erally. a IIE A P N K S S CANNOT BE From r.S.Jo*nml t MmHHm Frot . W . H. P eek e, w ho m a k e s a s p e c ia lty o f E p ile p s y , h a s w ith o u t d o u b t tre a te d a n d c u r­ e d m o r e c a s e s th a n a n y li v in g P h y s i c i a n ; h is s u c c e s s is a s to n is h in g . W e h a v e h e a r d of cases o f jo y e a r s ' s ta n d in g _ _ C IR ID le o f hi« a b s o lu te c u r e , f r e e to a n y s u ffe re r« *’ho m s v sen d t h e ir r>. O. a n d E x p r e s s a d d r e s s . »Ye a d .*i*e a n v o n e w is h in g a c u r e to a d d r e s s T o t W X.PET&X, F -P - ,4 Cedar St., V ew T srk HERCULES GAS‘AND «GASOLINE ...E N C IN E S ... by local applications, as they rann^. reach the diseased portion of the ear. There only one ^vay to cure Deafness, and that is by constitutional remedies. Deafness is caused by an inflamed condition of ihe mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. Waen this tuoe gets inflamed you have a rumbling sound or imperfect hearing, and : when it is entirely closed Deafness is the j result, and unless the inflammation can be take out and this tube restored to its nor­ mal condition, hearing will be destroyed forever; nine casts out of ten are ex -*ed by catarrh, which is nothing but an in­ flamed condition of the mucous surfaces. We will gi e One Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be cured by Hall s Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, tree. F J. CHENEY A CO., Toledo,0. Sold by Druggists, 75c. IN C R E tS E YOUR IN C O M E N O T E D F O R ... B y c a r e f u l I n v e s tm e n ts b y m a il th r o u g h a r e s p o n s i b l e firm o f l u r g e e x p e rie n c e S IM P L IC ITY and g re a t su ccess. W ill s e n d you p a r ­ STREN CTH tic u la rs fre e , s h o w in g h o w a s m a ll ECONOMY a m o u n t o f m o n e y c a n b e e a s ily m u l t i ­ S U P E R IO R W O R K - p l i e d b y s u c c e s s f u l I n v e s tm e n ts in g r a i n M A N S K IP ... H ig h e s t B a n k r e f e r e n c e s . O p p o rtu n itie s IN EV E R Y D E T A IL e x c e lle n t. 1 a ttls o n & I n . , B a n k e rs an d B r o k e r s , R o o m P . , O m a h a B u i l d i n g , ; The«© e n g in e s a r e a c k n o w le d g e d b y e x p e r t e n g in e e r* to be w o rth y o f h ig h e s t c o m m e n d a ­ i h ic u g o . tio n fo r s im p lic ity , h ig h g ra d e m a te r ia l a n d s u ­ p e rio r w o r k m a n s h ip . T h e y d e v e lo p th e fa il D IS A S T R O U S F A IL U R E ! a c tu a l h o rsep o w er, a n d r u n w ith o u t a n e le tr i e Np&rk b a t te r y ; th e s y s te m of ig n itio n is s im p le , in e x p e n s iv e a n d re lia b le . F o r p u m p in g o u tfits We can m onth n no failure more di--a troua fo r ir r i g a ti n g puri*oat*s n o b e tte r e n g in e c a n b e than th at of phi slcai enemy. It iuvmves the fo u n d o n th e P acific c o a s t F o r h o is tin g o u tfits partial Ku-p, m iou of the digestive aud ,.a»lmi- for m in e s th e y h a v e m e t w ith h ig h e s t a p p ro v a l. latlve p-oceaaea. aud em ails the retirem ent F o r in t e r m i t t e n t p o w e r t h e ir e c o n o m y is u n ­ from business of the liver and kldnets. Oulv q u e s tio n e d . As a specimen of rabid writing in the IMPRESSIVE GLITTER. French press I give a passage from an T h e M e t a l l i c S p l e n d o r o f t b e D ip lo m a ti c article I once read in Le M atin: through the good office» oí H odetter's St > bi - C o r p s o n N e w Y e a r ’« M o r n in g . “ The English empire in India is now .c h B irera can the restoration of Its form -r a spectacle of extortion, rapine, famine Washington’s most picturesque fea­ vigorous slstuH be hoped ffor. When this aid ha« liesn secured, a resumption of actlvl v in and bankruptcy. All crumble into ruins ture, the diplomatic corps, never gets in ­ the atom-ch liver and bowels may he relied STATIONâRY HD MARINE EMUES —towns, villages, reservoirs aud public to action nntil the reception at tbe upon. Tre B t.er» e :q lers malaria and kid­ ney troubles. ----- MANtTFACTURKD «Y------ works, temples and tombs; the railways White Honse on New Year's day, al- pass through deserted villages and d i­ ! though the individual members w ill be American Type Founders’ Co. lapidated towns; the ordinary highways seen ont in society for a month or more are impracticable—it is impossible to before the recognized social season. At P O R TL A N D , O R . nse a carriage 12 miles outside of Cal­ the New Year’s reception, however, the B end fo r c a ta lo g u e . cutta. The English have made a purely diplomats come ont strong, and the pro­ superficial conquest of these vast regions. cession of the mem tiers of the foreign They do not live there; they are only legations aud embassies from the White And p ain s o f r h rn m ip s m can he cured encamped ; their children die there, and Honso to the home or hotel of the secre­ by rem oving th e cause, lactic arid in th e with their gross bodies—all flesh and tary of state, where the diplomatio blood. H oo d 's .Sarsaparilla cures rh eu ­ blood—they cannot acclimatize them­ breakfast is served, is one of tbe gala m atism by n eu tralizin g th is arid . T h ra - selves there. India is for them a place sights of the year. Many of the popula­ s a n d s o f people tell o f |ierfect cures by I M ild r h y m e . O n e P i l l f a r n Do«©. of exile, a tropical Siberia, which they tion of Washington stay np a'.! night in movement of tbe Ixm.-l« enrb day ta tieoeeeary fa* Ith. Theee pilla «opp y what tb«* ayatem leaks ta escape from as soon as possible; they are order to get a place on the White Honse ilar They c ¿re lleadacbe. bnjthtes thfc ar tb e C o u j xion better than rrm alim equally detested by the Hindoos and fence where they may s:eethe procession . -------sr gripe nor sicken. To ooi - tuk -« you, WS Mnssnlmans. The flame of this implaca­ pass as soon as it has been received and ©ill mail «ample free, or full box f * 2fic. Sold every* ©hare. DR BObANXO MED. CO.. Philadelphia, I V ble-hatred poisons the lives of the con­ properly attended to by the president. querors. The day when Russia blows After this reception the entire organi­ upon this castle of cards it mnst fall zation lines np and pnts ont on foot for immediately, aud England of the British the home of the secretary of state. As T he One T ru e Blood Purifier. $ t ; six for »V MRS. WINSLOW'S S os ° ytrhu V no - F O * C H IL D R E N T E E T H I N G « channel will perish through India. Asia they pass from the White Honse grounds H n n r l ’q P i l l s • ot h a r m o n i o u s l y with F trM lc k y a llllra tfb tà . C ea U a k a tll« , n u u u a r i l l s Hood's San-aparllla. 25 rt*. | will cease to be a sterile and withered in their glittering raiment they are the branch of humanity. Once escaped from showiest things iu Washington aud the vampires of London, she will revive worth coming miles to see. The lowli­ SURE C U R E p o r P ILE S and awake to a newT existence. The Rus­ est attache in the crowd will give curds i t e h i s c U d B lin d , B lead in « w P rts u u .i.u « PII«** jte M mi mmm u D R . B 0 - I A N - K 0 8 P IL E R E M E D Y . >»®h- sian conquest on the banks of the aud spades to the most showily dressed »»«. e k a«cW m a ta r« A p a r t i r « ar« . X 3r « |l e r a a r e t fle a . T r i m M a. V t A u U u a t B a i l . |» J w i M M A l I k « , P f c l f c x . P a . Ganges will be tbe signal for the down­ drum major iu the country aud will win fall of the Anglo-Saxon ¡lower in both ont with ease. They have gold lace and N. P. N. U. No. 628—S. F. N. U. No. 70& hemispheres. Nothing will remain bullion strung all over them, while the standing in the parent country—aristoc­ aigrets, plumes, epanlets, cords, tassels! racy and ehnrch, commerce and indus­ aud ribbons of nny one legation would try, will simultaneously disappear.” stock a millinery store. Such is the ef­ The writer, having thus annihilated fect of this aggregation oflt beauty adU you w ant a sure relief for pains in tbe back, tide, chest, or the British empire and distributed her valor on the great American crowd limbs, use an colonies “ among the great powers,” gathered without the gates that every goes on to predict that “ a new hour man in it utters at some time while the P o ro u s will then have struck for the human procession is passing, with contemptu­ race,” e ta —Xa I .mil Review. ous emphasis, the remark whieh occurs P la s te r oftenest in the naira live of (he adven­ T e llu riu m . B e a r in M i n d — N o t o n e o f th e h o s t o f c o u n te r fe its a n d im i­ tures of Cliinimie Faddeu.—Indianapo­ ta t i o n s is a s g o o d a s t h e g en u in e . A mining paper states, us a practical lis Journal. fact worth knowing, that any miner or T b . M a n F o r t h e P la c e . prospector who has a blowpipe, alcohol lamp aud a few drops of cold snlphuric Manager—Yes, we advertised for a acid can in a few minutes determine night watchman. whether tellurium is present in ores, all Applicant—Then I'm just the one for that is necessary being to break off a the place, .'’he slightest noise will wake small piece of the ore, place it in a me up.—Exchange. porcelain dish previously warmed so as to avoid breaking, apply tbe blowpipe W h e n th e N am e I . C h an g ed . nntil the ore is at an oxidizing heat, “ Why.” asked Mr. Ashnry Peppers, then pnt one or two drops of the snl plinric acid on the porcelain dish and “ why is the letter ‘k ’ like a wedding?” 1 No one noticed him, but be went on: ! allow to mix with the ore—the reaction “ The letter ‘k ’ is like a wedding be- j will immediately follow, if tellurium be present, by beautiful cnimine and pur tanse it causes a change from cooing^ to 1 pie colors. The metal fnses at abont 500 ;ookiug. ’’—Cincinnati Tribune. degrees C., and is distilled at a very © ■ makes I 'i a n o R e c i t a l . high temperature. Its vapor is golden H ■ th e nerves The term “ recital” was nsed for the yellow and has a very brilliant absorp W strong, and P J K ' brings b a o k tion spectrum, while the electrical con first time ill announcing Liszt’s piano­ th e fe e lin g s o f ductivity, like that of seleninm, is large forte performances at the Old Hanover y o u th t o th e pre­ ly influenced by the temperature previ Square rooms. The pianist indeed in one m atu rely old m an. V ons to heat, increasing after exposure to >f his letters writes, "L e recital, e’est It re sto res lo s t vigor. | light, though not to the same extent a.- moi. ” —Academy. Y ou m a y g a in ten does seleninm. Tellurium burns, when pounds in ten d a y s. ft N E W W A Y E A S T —N O D U S T . heated iu the air, with a bine flame, GUARANTEED evolving white vapor of tellurium diox Go E a s t from P o rtla n d , P en d leto n . W alla ide. It is insoluble in water and carbon W alla via O. R . A N. to S p o k an e a n d G reat TOBACCO HABIT CURE. disulphide, but dissolves in cold fuming N o rth ern R ailw ay to M o n ta n a, D ak o tas, St. P aul, M in n eap o lis, Chicago, O m ah a, 8 t Go b u y an d tr y a b ox to -d a y . It sulphuric acid, imparting to the sola Louie, E ast an d S o u th . R ock ballast t r a c k ; ooete o n ly «1. Your o w n d ru g g ist tion a most pleasing carmiuo color fine scenery; Dew e q u ip m e n t; G reat N orth w ill g u a ra n tee a cure or m o n e y re­ which almost immediately passes into u -m P alace sleepers an d D in e rs; F am ily funded. Booklet, w ritten g u aran tee o f cure purple. The compact form is a silvei T o u rist ' ’a re; B uffet-L ib rary C ars W rite and sam ple free. A d d re ss n ea rest offloe. A B C. D s n n is to n , C. P. *fe T. A., P o rtlan d . white, resplendent metal of markedly O regon, o r F . I. W h itn e y . G. P . A T. A.. T H E S TE R L IN G R E M E D Y C O ., crystalline structure. St. P a u l, M in n ., for p rin te d m a tte r an d in C H IC A G O . M ONTREAL, CAN. N EW Y O R K . Aches Hood's Sarsaparilla A llc o c k ’s Don’t Tobacco Spit and Smoka Your Life Away! fo rm atio n a b o u t rates, ro u tes, etc. “ D r y ( if y t w r s " o f Y e lln w a to n e P a r k . u m p 'to n I There are several holes in the Yellow m y fam ily a u d p ractice.—D -, G. W. stone park region wnich are locally re In P attkrsok , In k ste r, M ich .. N jv . 5, 1894 pnted to be “ bottomless. ” Geological authorities say that they are “ diy gey F I T S . —A ll F its sto p p ed free by D r K lin e * « r e a t N e r ? « R e s t o r e r . N o F111«, DiarrliuR, Dj «en^ry. GrainuV P * ilter11T E BE*T * P * ain-K **** e YOUR BACK *che? Does every «rep seem m burden? You need M O O R E ’S REVEALED REM EDY. D O N ’T B O R R O W T R O U B L E . ” S A P O L IO BUY *T!S C H E A P E R IN T H E EN D .